Oops.

"It's OK," is the supportive response. "Everybody makes mistakes."

While this is true, the fact that we all have our moments is often reluctantly accepted. Have you ever noticed this advice is more easily delivered when the dreaded screw up happened to the other guy and not ourselves or one of our children? The encouraging tone falls a little flat when we are staring at the dented fender of our car courtesy of the newly permitted driver watching tv in the family room.

But when every corner billionaire is touting his life cycle of miscues as his blueprint for eventually buying his own island, it's hard to be convinced that at the root of every mistake lies a seed of wisdom.

Founder of Bridgewater Associates and neighborhood billionaire, Ray Dalio, was quoted, "I learned that there is an incredible beauty to mistakes, because each mistake was probably a reflection of something that I was doing wrong, so if I could figure out what that was, I could learn how to be more successful."

Sure, that's easy for him to say. When he makes mistakes, he can pay somebody to take the fall. But, could the late night infomercials be true? Could the learning value buried deep within silly mistakes apply to commoners as well as the rich and mighty?

As a bright-eyed beginning skier, my first experience with an instructor was a prompt face plant in the freshly groomed powder.

"You are going to fall," he explained in a way only a discouraged seven-year-old novice could understand.

"An important part of learning this sport is knowing how to get up when you fall down."

My unceremonious splattering all over the bunny slope illustrates how you improve by challenging yourself and learning from your mistakes. Eventually, you are going to fall. It's the only way one can progress to the next level of ability. In life, those mistakes often have consequences. So this painful and embarrassing process is two-fold. First, you experience the setback, which is followed by the lesson; your kids refer to this as "punishment."

As a parent, how can wading through our mistakes and witnessing the flub ups of our young people encourage a maverick to emerge brimming with self-confidence and a vision of imminent success?

According to experts, honest mistakes (those events that truly were unanticipated by said flub-upper) bring to light three benefits.

1. Mistakes uncover flaws

Do we procrastinate? Are we failing in successfully managing our time? Are we lacking self-awareness of our abilities? Are we overwhelmed thus making hasty decisions? Are we reacting to outside influences? Mistakes uncover those character flaws that hinder our progress and force us to waste time cleaning up our messes. In the aftermath, you have a choice; address the root that keeps causing these mistakes to happen or grab a bucket and start cleaning.

2. Mistakes encourage viewing the end result with different choices

Most mistakes happen because of at least three things, a) we simply did not think things through, b) we didn't have all of the information we needed to make the best decision, c) we didn't care and embraced denial as our friend thus refusing to believe anything bad could possibly happen based on our choices.

As a result, I am now looking at a golf ball-sized hole in my wall because somebody thought trying out their driver in the house would be fine, a project from work that won't balance because I was missing an all-important memo summarizing instructions, and half of my car is blue when, just yesterday, it was tan. Still waiting for an explanation on that one.

3. Mistakes are the country cousins to second chances

What is a popular response to an exposed mistake? A desire to remedy. How can I make this right? How can I make this mistake go away? Sometimes the solution is an easy fix. Other times it requires a pound of flesh and future draft picks.

If nothing else, the reward may be the realization that while you may not have the complete answer, at least you know of one more option that definitely will not work. Some days, I'll take that as a good thing.

And during those times when you can't make it right, take your lumps, hope for forgiveness, accept the outcome and rebuild on a smarter, more solid foundation.

Making mistakes stink. They are commonly the culprit behind poor academic performance, sudden career changes, squandered fortunes, abandoned dreams, lost loves, injury, even death. Yet, mistakes are an interwoven part of us. They help define us either through the experience or in spite of it. Either way, mistakes are here to stay. And if we can identify value in those experiences-that's a good thing. Make no mistake.

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As a mom, my attention was instantly drawn to the tears.

"What happened?"

"They won't let me play," he whimpered.

"Why not?"

"Because he was cheating," was the unison response from the field.

It seems the penalty for cheating (in this game, at least) was swift and simple. You know the rules, you broke them. Therefore, you get to sit on the sidelines. But as recent events in national sports media have shown, somewhere down the line the perimeters that define dishonesty on the playing field, in the classroom, or at the workplace have turned into murky, easily justifiable shades of gray. Excuses have replaced personal accountability.

So as society watches high-profile sports figures make excuses for themselves, what can we do as parents to be sure the importance of integrity, honesty and fair-play remain a constant influence on the lives of our kids?

1. Talk about it

The rules against cheating should be a regular conversation with your children in different settings. Don't assume your child will never consider cheating.

"Watch how children play board games or card games, and you'll be surprised by the competitiveness, sometimes deteriorating into cheating," writes Karin A. Bilich in her article The Cheating Child. "Kids under the age of 5 generally don't attach any moral value to cheating. They're just playing. Kids between the ages of 5 and 7, however, will get a bit more sneaky with their cheating."

Make sure your child understands your stance on cheating and what the expected punishment will be for dishonesty.

2. What is the motivator?

Society places an incredible amount of pressure on winning, ranking and coming in first. Often kids respond to that pressure by cheating as a way to live up to those expectations.

In the Parenthood.com article, Why Children Cheat and What To Do About it,_ Darrell Rud, president of the National Association of Elementary School Principals said he sees cheating behavior "emerging in first or second grade, when students are given increasing numbers of worksheets and the level of difficulty can cause them to feel overwhelmed. The intention is not to cheat, but to keep up."

Other times, the child simply prefers the easy path. Why study when the kid sitting next to you is willing to share answers for the test? Also, the ease with which information can be accessed through technology has changed the pathway for researching school-assigned papers. While the "P" word is a cardinal sin in the writing industry, some students fail to see they are, in fact, plagiarizing when they cut and paste online information to pass off as their own work. How could something so easy be so wrong?

"They know that cheating is wrong," wrote Joe di Prisco, author of Right From Wrong: Instilling A Sense of Integrity In Your Child. "Every healthy conversation around plagiarism and academic dishonesty is really about focusing on the kid's strengths. Kids want to do the right thing, but you need to connect the dots for them. Kids don't want to misrepresent themselves, so you need them to see that this is exactly what they are doing when they pass off someone else's work as their own."

3. A parent's message

Cheating is wrong, yet sometimes the child's actions are a response to the message parents are sending out. Is your focus on the grade or the learning? Does your child need to be the leading scorer, or is it more important she learn the value of teamwork? As a parent, your voice carries more influence than you may think. And if you are one who believes winning at any cost is the goal, your child will find a way to achieve it, even if it means cheating.

This is an opportunity for you to step back and evaluate what you value and the example you set. Are you doing your child's science project for her to secure her spot in the winner's circle? What message are you sending to your child? Are you angry your child brought home a "B" when you emphasized that he needed to earn an "A?" During the process of teaching our children to make choices based on integrity, can we accept the reality that this may mean our child will come in third?

"Kids cheat when they become stressed," explained Eric Anderman, Professor of Educational Psychology at The Ohio State University and co-editor of the book Psychology of Academic Cheating in the article Why Kids Cheat and How To Stop It. "The trick is to diminish the motivations that drive cheating in the first place."

Anderman added that as the pressure to get good grades and high test scores increases, so does the incidence of cheating. He says that although children who cheat in school do not fit any defined profile, they're usually students "who are much more focused on getting good grades and extrinsically motivated rather than intrinsically motivated by a desire to learn."

We want our children to do their best whether it is on the basketball court or the classroom. But, more importantly, we want to be sure our children can identify the merits of honesty and the advantages it creates in the future. By instilling those values within the home, our children will score big based on their own efforts and will be better prepared for the road ahead.

The post How to make sure your child doesn’t turn out like the people on TV appeared first on FamilyToday.

Today, your daughter doesn't think about past limitations. She just focuses on her goal while playing on the field, track, court or pool. It seems Dick's Sporting Goods, a national sporting gear retail chain forgot about it too, and has been called to the mat by a young female athlete.

Twelve-year-old McKenna Peterson from Arizona wrote them a letter:

"I have received your Basketball 2014 catalog in the mail... There are NO girls in the catalog! ... Girls buy stuff from your store. In fact, my last two pairs of basketball shoes were purchased at Dick's, as well as my hoop and practice equipment... It's hard enough for girls to break through in this sport as it is, without you guys excluding us from your catalog."

After McKenna's letter went viral, Dick's CEO, Ed Stacks sent a letter to McKenna hoping he will get an opportunity to apologize to her in person. He wrote:

"I'm sorry, we clearly messed up and I can personally guarantee that next year's catalog will prominently feature female athletes, as it should have this year... As a dad and former coach, I understand firsthand the importance of youth sports for all kids. I have a trip planned to visit our stores in Arizona in the next few weeks. If you and your parents are open to it, I would welcome the opportunity to meet you and apologize in person."

Since Title IX was enacted, the number of women playing collegiate sports has ballooned from under 300,000 in 1972 to over 3.2 million, according to the National Federation of State High School Associations.

On another historical note, during the London 2012 Olympics, Team USA boasted more female athletes (269 athletes) than males (261 athletes) with more female athletes bringing home medals.

The post You’ll be amazed how one young athlete got the attention of a retail giant appeared first on FamilyToday.

Consider this typical guest list:

Grandma joined-at-the-hip

Togetherness is such a privilege. Yet, even something as heartwarming as being yuletide bosom buddies can reach an excess. This is the guest who won't blink an eye while requesting seating for 26 during peak hours at the local steak house.

She also demands that all family members open their gifts at the exact same time, then go around the room so everyone may announce what was just unwrapped and share one's feelings about the giver. Fortunately, a grass roots coup formed by the youngest family members rises up against this injustice and brings the oppression to a screeching halt. God bless little children.

It's too bad these united conditions don't reach our next guest.

Hey-watch-my-kids-while-I-run-errands sister-in-law

: Despite the fact this family lives 3,000 miles away, and she knows nothing about this area, she has errands to run. This guest operates with an almost chameleon-like precision that enables her to dissipate into the atmosphere, thus leaving her young children to entertain themselves; perhaps by evaluating the effects of hot wassail poured on your recently cleaned carpet.

The semi-famous blogger

She is easy to spot in a crowd. She is the one taking a "selfie" while grandchildren act out the nativity story in front of the Christmas tree. Can't remember if you added cayenne pepper to the sausage gravy? Just refer to her Facebook page. She's posted photos of all of the food prep with clever headings.

"Where's the TV? The game's on." That must mean Uncle Carl, our family sports nut, is here for an extended stay on my couch surrounded by packages of turkey jerky and orange soda. Now, I dare say I follow sports rather closely. It's a by-product of being the only female in the house. So, when Uncle Carl arrives on a Wednesday at 10 a.m., I'm not sure to what game he is referring with such urgency.

"Malaysia is broadcasting the World Cup-Stacking Tournament."

Well, of course.

"You have ESPN 4, don't you?"

The human calculator

"Woo wee! That's a nice tree. How much did that cost you?"

Yes, Cousin Reggie is here with his mental calculator in tow to nickel and dime us into the new year. I shouldn't complain. He just wants to be sure we got a good deal. Of course, according to him the only one who actually GETS the good deal is himself.

"Look at that TV. How much did it cost you?"

"It was free, Cousin Reggie."

"Well, I could have gotten that for 20 dollars cheaper."

If you spy packages wrapped with hand painted organic paper and origami bows, then you know Aunt Pinterest-and-Etsy-are-my-life is here for the holidays. She also just whipped up a 6-foot gluten-free gingerbread house equipped with candy windows and a fully functioning elevator in her spare time between homeschooling her eight children and travelling overseas to donate crocheted blankets to local villages.

But, don't knock it. She crocheted cup holders for every member of the family for Christmas. Honestly, I have yet to find something that keeps my soda colder longer.

Despite it all, we are happy they are here, aren't we. Yes, at times it's hard to find room in your heart and your home for such a variety of contrasting personalities. However, this is the best time of year to sit back with your crocheted cup holder and reflect on the blessings of life and the people who share this life experience with you. Besides, who knew cup-stacking made such great television?

The post When fruitcakes collide: The adventures of family togetherness during the holiday season appeared first on FamilyToday.

1. Only walk as fast as the slowest hiker

A large part of being a support to your family and friends is to be on pace with them. You can't be helpful if nobody is following you, can't keep up with you or you are on a completely different trail. Playing as a team in life isn't about you dictating the journey, it's about finding a balance between the abilities of all involved and sharing the journey.

2. Yes, you can indulge in too much of a good thing

Hey, I love s'mores as much as the next guy. But after the fifth, I had to wonder if the sixth one was such a good idea. Moderation in all things is a smart move; even with camp food.

5. Recognize the value in downtime.

In an age of scheduled playdates, two-income families multi-tasking the daily needs of the household, and countless places where we need to be or should have been 10 minutes ago, busy schedules are sometimes hailed as a mark of success. But the pleasure of doing nothing but rediscovering the members of your family is a rare gift, indeed.

4. Corn on the cob really does taste sweeter when it's undercooked.

Life is filled with mistakes. Yet, even the most epic of blunders cannot be thrown out as a total disaster. There is always a trace of good that is bound to catch one off guard. Keep an eye out for it.

3. When all that protects you from the elements is some canvas and a zipper - you learn to appreciate the zipper

Sometimes, it's the smallest things in life that offer the most support. I grew to love my secured tent door flap about as much as I learned to relish and deeply miss crushed ice.

6. The trail to the outhouse seems much farther in the dark

At times, the goals we set for ourselves don't always seem so easy when we can't see the result in front of us. During times like this, trust that you are on track and re-examine it when the light is better, and the pathway is clear.

7. Don't mess with Mama Moose

A mother's love is a powerful thing. In our world, a mom's connection with her children is often casually dismissed, or tagged as mom simply being overprotective. In the wilderness, a mother's dedication to her baby is a relationship that commands respect and instills fear in the most experienced of nature lovers. Be fiercely and unapologetically dedicated to your role as a mom. And, never underestimate the power of your influence on your children.

8. Be prepared

Just like those moments when the spare pair of shorts or the extra batteries come in handy, so goes the rule of thumb with your family. So, arm yourself with extra hugs to share and pack extra patience to endure the unexpected bumps that will surely mark your road.

9. Pack light

It really doesn't take much to be comfortable in life. I am a gal who enjoys her household gadgets. But, do I enjoy them so much I am willing to haul them up mountains, through valleys, and across rivers to become a fixture in my campsite? We forget that these gadgets simply provide comfort and fun. They don't fulfill any substantial, life-sustaining need. Camping provides a nice reminder of how easy it is to achieve total contentment simply by having shelter, a roaring campfire, a flashlight, a roll of toilet paper, a cooler of diet soda, a deck of cards, my family and a box of Pop Tarts.

10. Returning home

It doesn't matter in what condition you left it; returning home is always a welcoming feeling. Hello, refrigerator and ice machine. Greetings, nice warm bed with clean sheets. Howdy, hot shower and flushable toilet. Maintaining that strong sense of gratitude for life's pleasures can make all of the difference when dealing with the mundane aspects of daily life. Life is good, after all.

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Many people are adopting an attitude that is commonplace in a variety of other countries and cultures. It's a lifestyle that encourages moderation, balance and simplicity. However, adopting an extreme approach to paring down one's lifestyle isn't the answer. So, before you go out and buy a wheat grinder and a rain barrel, realize that if a family has spent the majority of their lives accumulating debt through excessive living, depriving all forms of luxury won't be effective long-term.

In her book,Live Happily on Less: 52 Ideas to Renovate Your Life and Lifestyle, Carolyn Henderson points out "the important thing is to recognize those little luxuries for what they are - luxuries. And when we enjoy luxuries on a regular basis, they are no longer special in our mind. We begin to think of them as necessities."

Living large at a bargain price can be practiced effectively in the four main aspects of our lives.

Social

First, stop comparing your lifestyle with others. Certainly, don't compromise the financial security of your family to keep up appearances. Once you have committed to living a simplified life, realize that you will treat money differently than others. As a result, you may not always fit in with the crowd. Yet, knowing you are financially secure and strong will certainly be more appealing than trying to be the family with the newest computer, gaming system or car.

Do you want to be the favorite neighbor on the street? Plant a garden. In my neighborhood, each neighbor seems to specialize in growing a particular crop. Peppers and peaches seem to grow really well in my soil. My neighbor grows the juiciest tomatoes ever. My other neighbor has a pear tree and corn. During harvest, we exchange with each other to create a variety of produce to enjoy - saving money and building relationships.

Free is good. Free concerts, products, tickets, parks and libraries. Every community offers things free of charge to residents. Get in the habit of seeking out these resources. Sign up for free email newsletters published by event centers or the local college or university that offer promotional discounts on theatre, concerts, sporting events or movies. When you are living the simple life, movies released on DVD quickly become a welcome fixture in your home.

Physical

Prevention is key. You have total control over the quality of life you sustain. Your efforts in maintaining a regular exercise routine, eating a balanced diet loaded with seasonal fruit and vegetables and drinking water instead of soda can keep you healthy and save money. "Choosing foods that are inexpensive because they are widely available at a particular time is not only cheaper," writes Henderson, "it provides variety and enables us to graze different foods for different vitamins, minerals and health benefits."

Financial

"Learning to cook is the single most impacting way that you can reduce your grocery bill," writes Henderson. When evaluating one's budget, oftentimes it's the grocery bill that is one of the easiest to adjust. With our busy lives, it's tempting to grab takeout to save time at home. But, before you hit speed dial for the local pizza joint, realize a little preparation in meal-planning could save you loads of cash. Many bloggers have made a successful career out of posting pre-planned meal schedules. They have done all of the hard work for you. Take advantage of these sites and stock your kitchen with all of the things you need to fix meals at home.

Leah Ingram, author of Suddenly Frugal, provides two reasons why meal-planning is a smart economical move. "First, you will feel freer and less stressed knowing exactly which meals are coming down the pike, or at least which meals you have the supplies on hand to make. Second, with meal planning, you will be setting the stage so that your family will be able to sit down together each night to enjoy dinner."

Spiritual

"When you feel overwhelmed, something's wrong," writes Henderson. "It's time to step back and figure out just what it is. Overwhelmed is not the new normal." When one is preoccupied with financial worries, you cannot focus on your spiritual self. How can you think of serving others or bettering your world when you can't think of anything beyond the financial damage you have done to yourself and family?

Sometimes, we are handed unexpected expenses that knock us off our feet. Job loss, poor health, major life changes; disasters take on a variety of forms. In those situations, we all hope help is swift and opportunity for a better life is close at hand.

Choosing to live beyond your means is selfish and disrespectful to your spirit. Stop it now. Start taking measures today to get out of debt. Make sacrifices. Go without. Pick up extra work. Ask for help from trusted family members or friends. Do what you need to do to get back on track. Then, embrace that newly-acquired spending behavior. Your goal should go beyond getting out of debt. This marks a lifestyle change in your attitude and respect toward money and your financial lifestyle.

So, what does it mean to live large at a bargain price? Henderson writes, "Adjust the way you look at things. Find pleasure and fulfillment in the small, ordinary chores that make up each of our days. It's the little things you do, or don't do, each day that add up and make a difference."

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I looked up from my reading to see my 9-year-old son walk into the living room and slump in the nearby chair. After listening to a pathetic sigh resonating from deep within the couch cushions, I asked what was on his mind.

"I'm not good at anything," he replied.

And so began my speech about how "everybody has talents you just need to find those talents. Don't get caught up in comparing yourself to your brother. Mom and dad love you and think you're cool."

My son just stared at me. It seems, I wasn't convincing.

Just think for a moment what a difference it could make in our lives and the lives of our children if we were skilled in identifying hidden skills. Here are some points to consider.

1. Realize that everybody does something well

I'm talking about unearthing strengths as well as talents. In his book, "Authentic Happiness," Martin Seligman explains the difference. "Talents are relatively automatic. There is no choice about possessing it in the first place. A strength involves choices about when to use it and whether to keep building it, but also whether to acquire it in the first place."

While recognizing certain talents is unique for each individual, we all have strengths. Developing strengths give us purpose and a strong feeling of accomplishment. Your daughter may not become an Olympic swimmer, but she may have what it takes to be an engineer, a champion hot dog eater, a motivational speaker, a rock climber or an expert in organization.

2. Identifying talents is often influenced by our own experience

Stop me if you've heard this. "I played basketball all through high school, so my kid will play," says the parent. In childrearing, parents are drawn to what is familiar. While this may pay off in discovering a multi-generational powerhouse in racquetball, it may also create a stifling scenario when the child does not display the same ability. Parents need to keep an open mind and embrace a broad perspective when helping a child discover her own talents and strengths.

3. Focus on talents that enhance your child's life experience - not yours

Because of the time commitment, sometimes our social circle is influenced by our kids' activities. Enter the world of "soccer dads" and "dance moms." As adults, we need to step back and evaluate if encouraging our child to pursue a particular activity benefits the child or positions us in a desired social setting. We may gain popularity for pulling off a successful fundraiser, but the experience may be offering very little to our child in discovering and developing a talent.

4. Encourage interaction with others that share the same talent or strengths

Parents seem to select sports programs for their children often for no other reason than they are accessible. One can find a youth soccer team through any recreation center or athletic club. But what if your child excels in science or art? What if your child is interested in English poetry, playing the sitar or archery? Clubs supporting those types of activities aren't as prevalent in some communities. The good news is that you can find sites that offer support and information on any type of group. These sites may direct you to local programs in your area. For example, through a quick search I discovered an astronomy club, French club, ski club, golf league, hiking club, cooking classes, quilting club, garden club, roller derby and a club for break-dancers all within a 10-mile radius from my home. Now, I just need to find my old boom box and genie pants and I am back in the game, baby!

5. Use the pursuit of one talent as a springboard for another

Every team has one. It's the child that believes his ability far exceeds what is actually happening on the court. His vision is one of swift lay ups and smooth fade away shots. Meanwhile, he passed the ball to a player on the opposite team whose size measures a foot taller than he, then tripped down the court during a fast break play. Despite his desire to play and the time he spends practicing, he will never be mistaken for Blake Griffin on the court. As a result, he will not experience the zeal of accomplishment because his struggle is constant. However, with your newly-trained eye for hidden talent, you may discover your Lebron James wannabe has an impressive endurance for distance running.

A child who dreams of singing on Broadway may lack perfect pitch, but she picks up foreign languages quickly, or has a talent for writing poetry. Sometimes, children know what they want to pursue, but may not understand the message behind the struggle that prevents them from achieving success. Finding your talent should be easier than this. It should feel natural.

While life does not guarantee equal performance levels in the talents of your choice, every person deserves to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. Finding hidden talents provides that feeling.

In his article, "5 Easy Steps to Find Your Hidden Talents," Mike Michalowicz sums it up. "When you know what your talents are, you feel more in tune with your life. The sun shines brighter. Jerks are less jerky, and all is well with the world because you're on track. You have a purpose."

As parents, we have an opportunity to encourage our children to participate in life and discover unclaimed talents that will help them identify who they are. But, we need to realize that, despite what the motivational speaker told us, we can't do anything and everything we desire. He may be the next Lebron James. But, if not, keep your eyes open for the next Einstein, Joey Chestnut, Tony Hawk, Dan Brown, Tom Brokaw, Laird Hamilton or Steve Carell. They can take that talent and make it uniquely their own. Everyone has been blessed with God-given talents. Which one will you discovertoday?

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What if you could have a second chance at life? Any stage of life. What if you were given the opportunity to actually make the winning catch, or be the first runner to cross the finish line? Would you take it? What if you were given another chance to attend your child's school play instead of working late? Or, granted a second chance to see your son's home run instead of hearing about it over the phone?

What if you were granted a life of no regrets? Would you take it? Most of us lack the clarity to take a second look at the choices in our lives. We live with what we have lived. But, for some people, a life-threatening experience brings on lasting, life-changing results. A second chance, if you will, to really appreciate and celebrate the life they were given.

As a two-time survivor of non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, my brother is well aware of the fragile nature of life. As I listen to him talk about his recently adopted perspective on living, I've come to learn a few things.

1. Little things need to remain little

Is it so important to be right that you are willing to sacrifice being happy? When you put it that way, the answer seems easy. Of course, I want to be happy. Nevertheless, how many times have I yelled at my kids for not placing dirty dishes in the dishwasher? How often do I lecture my husband on leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor? Yet, when was the last time I thanked my husband for filling my gas tank? Or, told my children how much I appreciate the fact they play together so well?

Make the choice to overlook the little things and focus on being happy with the meaningful stuff. Think about the health of your family and dear friends. Be grateful for your home, and resources to pay your bills. Let the impact of the little things be just that - little.

2. Do not postpone happiness

Reach out to the people you love. Repair relationships with those you have hurt. Find reasons to celebrate now. Tell those you care about how much you appreciate them. When you realize how short your time in this life can be, it's surprising how little your performance at your job, or the amount of toys you have in your garage seems to matter.

After receiving the diagnosis of the fatal disease that would eventually take her life in 1996, author, Erma Bombeck offered a reflective view of what should matter in our lives when she penned, "If I Had My Life To Live Over." Along with counseling us to go ahead and burn the fancy pink candle, she shares this final thought, "Given another shot at life, I would seize every minute ... Look at it and really see it ... Live it ... And never give it back."

3. Life can change in an instant. "Brace for Impact."

In January 2009, US Airways passenger Ric Elias was onboard the ill-fated flight 1549 which, despite experiencing severe engine trouble, successfully crash-landed on a partially frozen Hudson River in New York City. Many credit the calm, confident ability of Captain Sullenberger for saving the lives of every passenger and crew member. Ric may not have known it at the time, but three words uttered by their captain in preparation for a crash landing would have a profoundly long-lasting effect on the rest of his life and the way he chose to live it.

If you don't like the direction your life is heading, commit to make a change. Then, "Brace for impact." Surely, surviving a plane crash illustrates the ultimate standard in second chances. As Ric puts it, it was a glimpse of the future with an opportunity to make it right.

So, what would you do with a second chance at life? Here is your chance to make it better. What could be the outcome of such a positive change? Brace for impact. The results may surprise you.

The post 3 things I learned from the gift of second chances appeared first on FamilyToday.

After hastily placing cold pizza in my son's school lunch bag for the third day in a row, and finding homework in the passenger side cup holder of my car two days after it was due, I decided things needed to change around here.

One of the first things experts suggest to combat disorganization is to create a series of lists. In this way, one can track tasks and items needed for the coming week. I accepted the challenge. So, for the next 30 days I relied on a compilation of lists to bring order to my chaotic household.

To-do list

There is an unanticipated thrill in checking completed items off a list of things to do. I enjoyed it. While giving myself credit for getting out of bed before 11 am, or checking a mark for my son as he successfully replaced the cap on the gallon of milk before returning it to the refrigerator are, indeed, tasks, I am not certain this type of list encourages much productivity.

Grocery-shopping list

I was excited to engage in a controlled, disciplined trip to the grocery store. I was instructed to create a comprehensive and super fancy list based on store ads, coupons and recipes inspired by seasonal produce. I don't know what happened. Somehow, my list got wedged between a bag of popsicles and six boxes of hair color (neither of which was included on my carefully prepared shopping list). Things just went downhill from there. I retrieved the list from the bottom of my shopping cart at the checkout counter. I actually used it to catch the drips from the giant ice cream cone I bought at the deli while I was shopping. Hey! I had a coupon.

Meal-planning list

Traditionally, our family meal-planning consists of each family member taking a night to select from their favorite takeout menu. So, this list required an adjustment for everyone. Unfortunately, I have cooking issues. Three days ago, I paid good money for my family to watch an Asian chef light our meals on fire. Everybody cheered. Last night, I burned the lasagna, and nobody cheered. What's the difference? Good thing I had a coupon for a bucket of fried chicken.

Personal food journal

Along with organizing my home, I am also trying to lose a few pounds. By few, I mean 20 to 30 pounds. Many fitness experts suggest tracking what one eats on a daily basis. This would be a more interesting read, I suppose, if I was writing something other than a 12 ounce can of Diet Pepsi and a handful of honey-roasted peanuts for every meal. I also read somewhere that if one eats ice cream directly out of the container while it remains in the freezer it does not need to be recorded.

Personal finance tracker

I encouraged my kids to track their expenses, as well. Turns out, I spend way too much money on stretchy pants and trashy celebrity gossip magazines. My youngest son buys too much chewing gum, which may explain why a large portion of my finances goes to the dentist. Also, I discovered my older son doesn't spend money on anything throughout the week. Therefore, the next time my finance tracker tells me I'm short on money, I know where to go for some quick cash.

Exercise chart

The incentive in monitoring this list is to encourage regular exercise by enabling the person to see one's progress. My goal was to walk 10 miles per week. The dilemma was that the treadmill was buried under two weeks of freshly laundered bath towels and a smattering of Christmas decorations that have yet to be stored. Both items are currently pending on my To-do list. So, I was forced to consider other options. Do you know where your Anteroposterior Inguinal region is located? Well, I am rather certain I tore mine in half during my last Pilates class.

Good things

One list that did manage to take hold was establishing a habit of daily reflection. Now, I take the time to spend a moment thinking of the good things in my life, showing sincere gratitude for them and recognizing that a source much greater than I wants me to be happy and succeed.

Thirty days later, I still seek order in this house. On those days when the fridge is packed yet we still have waffles for dinner, or my son considers wearing swimming trunks to school because nothing else is clean, I refer to my gratitude list where I have written down all of the things that make my day great and my life unique. I am reminded that the things that really matter are going OK, after all.

Right now, I am working on a couple of new lists. Ten reasons why I shouldn't have to eat cauliflower. And, in order to avoid future dinner mishaps, I am cataloging which foods are more flammable than others.

The post How do I handle chaos? Let me list the ways appeared first on FamilyToday.

Remember the promise to "love and cherish" and treat my husband as my beloved? I don't refer to him as my "beloved." Most of the time he answers to "Hey you!" or "Boy, are you in trouble, now!"

So, today as I feasted on my reception-sized portion of mixed nuts and cheesecake, I decided to give my own wedding vows an overhaul.

Here are 5 ways to spit-shine one's relationship based on new and improved vows for a well-worn marriage.

1. I promise to be honest

Honesty can take a variety of forms. I vow to be honest in how I am treating others. And, I will accept honesty from those who love me. So, when my husband gently tells me the ratty red sweats acquired 20 years ago from my high school track team must go, I need to trust his honesty and know it originates from a good place.

2. I vow to have and to hold - regular date nights

Grabbing hot dogs from the weiner rack at the corner convenience store does not qualify as going out to dinner. If your husband wants full credit for taking you out to dinner, then the location should at least require patrons to wear shoes. With the distractions of life, it's tempting to consider an evening of Sportscenter accompanied by a visit from Dominos as a well-spent evening. Sometimes, perhaps. But don't get in the habit of accepting this as the best one has to offer. As a newlywed, discovery was a large part of wedded bliss. Sixteen years later, it can still be a shared adventure. My husband and I enjoy trying new places and activities. If we like it, we invite the kids next time and host a fun family night. However, the first night is ours to reconnect and reacquaint ourselves with the person with whom we chose to share our life.

3. In sickness and in health

Few things are more pathetic than a grown man with the flu. It's as if he loses all use of his outer extremities thus requiring the devoted loved one to find a bendable straw for his giant glass of juice, align the TV remotes for easy access and cut his toasted cheese sandwich into four squares. The last time I was sick all I heard was, "Well, I guess I could take the kids to school." Considering the fact I was throwing up so hard I was seeing double, I appreciated the gesture.

While one can't predict the events of another day, my renewed focus for today is shifting towards the "healthy" side of this vow. I promise to stop treating cheese puffs as if they were part of the dairy group. And I promise to encourage healthy activities for my husband and children. Taking walks, playing ball or enjoying a night of bowling are all ways to celebrate our promise to stick with each other in supporting good health - and hope to avoid serious illness.

4. For richer or poorer

Sometimes, this depends on your state of mind, doesn't it? When I am planning a family vacation, I feel rich. The moment I have to start paying for that vacation, I feel like I should be digging through the couch cushions for loose change. While the fiscal climate of a household may change throughout the marriage, my renewed goal is to, at least, try leading a rich meaningful life. While it remains a mystery to me as to why nobody in my house can refill the paper tray in the computer printer besides me, I choose to look beyond those minor annoyances and focus on the rich blessings in my life. Yes, my car is 13 years old and smells like movie theatre popcorn. Nevertheless, it gets me everywhere I need to go. I have purchased my own birthday gift for the past 11 years. However, the gift is always a perfect fit. Despite being married for almost 20 years, my mother-in-law calls me Tammy. Yeah, I can't really defend that one.

Yet, while the men in this house cannot hit a waste basket if their life depended on it, on more than one occasion I have watched while my husband mowed a neighbor's lawn without being asked, or overheard my son gladly help his brother with homework because they both know better than to ask mom how to do Geometry. I feel pretty rich, indeed.

5. I promise to stick by you through joy and sorrow

It seems to me, joy is more of a reaction than something that can be requested. When my husband brings home a cake, it brings me joy. When my husband brings home a cake when I am trying to lose 20 pounds, it makes me crazy. The action wasn't different, but the reaction was the difference between a joyful tone or one of frustration. I will let you newcomers to the game of matrimony in on a little secret: Nobody can make you happy. Personal happiness is your job. Everybody plays a part in bringing joy into a home, and when everyone takes their role seriously in contributing a joyful attitude, it helps build a strong foundation for when sorrow hits. However, if husband comes home with a Mother's Day gift that matches the other clubs in his golf bag, that's not joy nor sorrow. That's just stupid.

Next week: We explore the friendly vows of vengeance.

The post 5 well-intended vows to spit-shine a marriage appeared first on FamilyToday.