There's a reason why women have swooned over Mr. Darcy for over 200 years. He is the perfect gentleman, the kind we all hope to have in our own love lives. And while no real guy can live up to some aspects of his personality and status, these other traits should be expected in a relationship.

1. He hasn't made a career out of insulting you in public

When Elizabeth Bennett showed up at the Bingley estate to check on Jane, she was muddy and likely sweaty from the exertion. Darcy could have taken a load of pot shots at her. Instead he refrained, even when he was baited by Miss Bingley who declared Mr. Darcy must believe Elizabeth's adventure surely affected his admiration of her fine eyes.

He could have agreed. Insulting Elizabeth would have been the popular thing to say in the moment. But Mr. Darcy declared that her eyes were brightened by the exercise.

If you're dating someone who joins in an insult fest regarding you, or who has a habit of pointing out your faults to others, you will likely want to steer clear. Your significant other should be your greatest champion, not your greatest critic.

2. He treats his mother well

We never actually get to see how Mr. Darcy treats his mother, but we do get to see how he treats his sister, and his behavior towards her is unimpeachable. Darcy is excellent to his family; he's even respectful, if direct, to his horrible, old aunt.

So spend some time with your significant other and his family. Pay attention to how he treats his parents and siblings and even how he treats the family dog. People are most unguarded when they're with their families. You can learn a lot about a person by the way he treats others when his guard is down.

3. He owns his own faults

Let's be honest. Owning up to your mistakes is tough to do. We're all human, which means we all make mistakes, but taking responsibility for those mistakes is hard for even the best of us. Sometimes we get defensive, which is a natural response.

Mr. Darcy certainly became defensive when Elizabeth rejected his less-than-adequate marriage proposal, but he later owned his faults. He didn't just take ownership; he worked to become a better man. You want a guy who can recognize his own faults and works to overcome them so he can be his best self.

4. His compliments extend beyond the physical

It's great to get some validation when you look nice, but is that the only validation he offers?

Darcy doesn't hesitate to appreciate the fine figures of Miss Bingley and Elizabeth as they took a turn about the room. And, clearly, Darcy has a fascination with fine eyes, but he also compliments Elizabeth for reading to improve her mind, on her piano playing and for her good conduct that allowed him to see past her unfortunate family relations (though that compliment came with an insult to her family, so ... that maybe wasn't his best moment). The point is, you want someone who isn't as concerned with your surface as he is with who you are, what you think, and how you feel.

He keeps his word

Mr. Darcy is the kind of guy who does what he says he's going to do. It had to be pretty hard for him to give anything to Wickham when Wickham decided he'd rather have a payoff rather than take religious orders which would have given him a respectable income and social standing. But Mr. Darcy tried to comply with the wishes of his late father even though he hated Wickham.

A man who keeps his word is important because it means he won't be making false promises to you, and you will never have to second guess his motives or intentions.

He is generous

Although it took Elizabeth a little while to figure it out, Mr. Darcy is generous to all those under his care and protection. He is generous to his family, friends, servants, and others he employs.

A guy doesn't have to be as rich as Mr. Darcy to prove he has a charitable, good heart. Just being nice to the waiter when the meal comes to the table wrong is an act of generosity. A man who holds open doors, not just for women, but for people in general, means he respects people and is concerned for the welfare of others. Helping others in need is a sign of someone worth keeping.

He's a hard worker

Again, a guy doesn't have to be raking in the big bucks to be an amazing man, but a work ethic is important. Does he have a way to earn income and does he actively work on improving himself? I'm all for independent women who can pay their own bills, but a smart, independent woman needs a smart, independent man, not a lazy, failure-to-launch burden.

And as you watch out for these gentlemanly attributes in a guy, keep in mind he'll probably want those attributes in you too.

The post 7 gentlemanly things every woman has the right to expect in a relationship (especially if she’s looking for someone like Mr. Darcy) appeared first on FamilyToday.

Jane Austen died 200 years ago, but for a woman whose relationship insights came from an old world, she has some profound love bombs that hold true centuries later. Have you learned these 13 truths about love?

1. Youth and beauty aren't everything

Poor Mr. Bennett, married to a self-centered, silly woman for enough years to have five full grown daughters.

He warns Lizzy away from a match to a partner she might not be able to respect with this great advice: youth and beauty fade and what is left is character and mind. Choose a partner you can respect even after youth turns to years and beauty is dragged down by gravity. Marry your intellectual equal.

2. Talk to each other

It's important to note that calling him poor Mr. Bennett. His wife is only part of what keeps him from marital bliss.

Mr. Bennett hides out in his library with his books. He doesn't really talk to his wife so much as he takes most opportunities to tease, disparage, and make jokes at his wife's expense. Things would have been better between them if he came out of the library every now and again to have a conversation with her.

He should've read her something he found interesting in one of his books, asked her opinion on matters in an effort to grow her mind rather than allowing her continual isolation to create a more and more aggravating companion. Don't complain that your significant other never has anything interesting to say if you've already given up on your part of the conversation.

3. A crisis isn't the end of the world

This is not meant to trivialize real crisis situations, but bad stuff is going to happen. It's something you can plan on. If Jane taught us anything, it is the beautiful fact that a crisis can be resolved and overcome.

When Mr. Darcy stumbled upon Elizabeth after she discovered Lydia ran off with Wickham, he didn't just rock back and forth and scream that the world was over. He went into action to find a solution. Don't let the crisis own you. Look for the solution.

4. You cannot change anyone except yourself

I have actually heard people say, "I thought I could change him" (or her, depending on who's talking). Here is the truth: you cannot change anyone except yourself.

When Elizabeth rejected Mr. Darcy, she didn't do it thinking she would change him. But I'm betting that when he proposed, he believed he could change her, make her more respectable, keep her away from her family, that sort of thing. Her rejection gave him the chance to take a look inward and discover he had a few things he had to change about himself.

5. Choose love

Marianne in "Sense and Sensibility" had an issue with believing love must be passionate every single second. It never occurred to her that love could be steady, constant, unwavering. Her desire for the immediate gratification of the passionate made her blind to all the genuine joy there was to be found a steady relationship.

When you're married, passion isn't always right in front of you. Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you love your spouse. Sometimes you have to remind yourself several times a day. If you are choosing love every day, you don't have time to be searching for exits.

6. Don't make false accusations

Seriously, don't. Just ask Catherine Morland of "Northanger Abbey" how that goes. Assume the best of your significant other until you have proof of anything otherwise.

7. Look for the good

Catherine Morland really had a bumpy beginning. She nosed around looking for the bad because she wanted her life to be like a gothic novel. Don't do this. Try looking for the things your spouse does well, instead.

8. Let the past go

As Elizabeth so eloquently states, "A good memory is unpardonable." A good marriage is about the progression of life. It is hard to progress forward if you are constantly being yanked back to the past where you are forced to relive some offense or another. Let the past go and keep progressing forward.

9. Ditch the "I-told-you-so"

Mrs. Bennett spends a great deal of time lamenting over all the things she told people to do but that they failed to hear or act on. When Lydia runs off with Wickham, Mrs. Bennett consistently criticizes her husband for not listening to her because she "told him." She was wrong most of the time. But even if you're right, keep it to yourself. People have a hard enough time overcoming their mistakes without someone gloating over them.

10. Speak well of your spouse

As Elizabeth in "Pride and Prejudice" said, "One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty."

I've found that when I speak well of others, those people rise up to prove me right. When I disparage them, they try to prove me right on that as well. It's better to speak well of your spouse and let those words be the ones your spouse tries to live by.

11. Say sorry

Emma tells Mr. Knightly she's sorry after she mistreats their mutual old spinster friend, Miss Bates. Mr. Darcy (eventually) apologizes for those things he has done to separate Jane from Bingley. And we all know Willoughby owes Marianne an apology; but see how far not apologizing got him? Say sorry. It matters.

12. Do activities you can enjoy together

Emma and Mr. Knightly spend a lot of time together doing various activities. This is part of why their relationship is so awesome. Their activities give them a lot in common and a lot to talk about.

13. Say "I love you"

I know, I know. "If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more." Mr. Knightly's declaration is pretty adorable, but the thing is that people need to hear those affirmations of affection. Talk about it. Say it. Show it.

Try adding these pearls of wisdom into your marriage, and see what it does for you.

The post 13 things Jane Austen taught about love that will revolutionize your marriage appeared first on FamilyToday.