I worked hard to build my life into something I loved. Then it fell to pieces. It was bad. It was hard. It still continues. But this is what I've learned:

1. You are enough

Who you are is not what you do. Worth is not dependent on your job, relationship status, waist size, degree or any title or position. Your worth is solely derived from who you are as a human being and who you can become.

If I take away all the accomplishments and hobbies and titles and adventures, I am just me. And that is enough.

Trials enable us to discover who we really are. And that is a discovery that changes everything.

2. Until you learn to receive, you can't fully give

For me, it's much easier to serve than to be served. Asking for help and accepting help is extremely humbling and difficult. But as you learn to receive, you somehow learn to more fully give. Brene Brown, Ph.D., said it best: "Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgement to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgement to giving help."

3. It's okay to feel

Another thing I better understand after my life came crashing down is that it's okay to feel sad. It's okay to feel things. You can't always control your emotions, so it's fine to feel angry and frustrated and upset. Enduring well through trials doesn't mean that you'll always be peachy and happy and cheerful. It means that you'll move forward and have hope despite those feelings. That principle is incredibly comforting and empowering.

4. Pain is part of the game

When you choose to live and love, you choose to open yourself up to the possibility of pain. You run the risk of disappointment and heartbreak and grief. Pain hurts. A lot! But when you lose your tolerance for pain, you also lose your ability to feel joy. Trying to numb the discomfort will also numb the happiness. Pain is just part of the game.

5. Pain doesn't teach

I hate pain. Suffering, in and of itself, doesn't teach us anything. Pain destroys and desecrates far more often than it strengthens and builds. It is how we respond to pain that decides our fate.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh said, "I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness, and the willingness to remain vulnerable."

We all suffer, but we must respond with a special perspective if we are to learn anything from adversity.

6. You write your story

What narrative have you been telling yourself and others about your life? It matters! How you frame your trials and experiences determines if you emerge as the victim, the survivor, or the hero.

YOU write the story, so be a hero.

The post 6 life-changing discoveries when my world fell apart appeared first on FamilyToday.

1. Love your body

This is oh so hard! We all struggle with insecurities and measuring up to our vision of beautiful. But the sexiest people learn to love their bodies. And yes, it is a learned process.

How do you learn to love your body? Check out this website. Some ideas include making a list of all the things your body lets you do and placing a sign on your mirror that says, "I'm beautiful inside and out." Another website suggests reducing your time on social media and dressing the body you have now.

2. Own your quirks

Maybe you have crazy hair you can't control. Maybe you're super tall and curvy. Or maybe you're obsessed with wearing Hello Kitty. Whatever your quirk is, OWN IT! Never be ashamed or embarrassed by your natural features and the things you love. Your quirks make you unique, and nothing is more sexy than confidence in the things that make you different.

3. Dress like YOU

"In a world where you can be anything, be yourself." - Etta Turner

"How cool is it that the same God that created mountains and oceans and galaxies looked at you and thought the world needed one of you too." - Author Unknown

Please don't try to be someone else. Be YOU and dress like YOU.

4. Take control

There's nothing sexier than a woman who is in total control of herself. Intentionally decide that you will take care of your body. Eat in a way that's healthy for you. Balance your diet and exercise so that you look and feel how you want to.

Be in charge of your life. Don't let addictions take control of you. Choose to act rather than be acted upon. Intentionally living your life will bring you freedom and confidence. And that is sexy.

5. Be good to people

When you master the art of balancing confidence and humility, your level of sexiness sky-rockets! There is something very sexy about grace, dignity and respect.

Putting others down will never raise you up. The sexiest people love themselves but also build, encourage and love others. They remember what it's like to deal with insecurities, fears, and struggles and empathize accordingly.

6. SPICE

Every once in a while throw some spice into your routine and wardrobe. Mix it up and surprise people - a form-fitting dress, red lipstick, slick shades, high heels, a cheetah-print onesie... Sexiness is all about surprise and spice.

7. Get smart

The sexy ones are the smart ones, it's true. Ignorance and obliviousness are not attractive. But intelligent conversations, hard work, and ambition - that is.

Ashton Kutcher said it best, "The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart, and being thoughtful, and being generous."

The post 7 steps to real sexiness appeared first on FamilyToday.

Phone cameras are incredibly convenient and quality these days. Use these tips to improve your photography skills and better preserve life moments and adventures.

1. Know where the light is

In most cases, you want the sun behind you or over your shoulder (unless, of course, you're taking a picture of the sun or a silhouette). This gives your subject the best lighting. Be mindful of your own shadow and shade that adds patches of darkness to the subject.

2. Focus

Most phones allow you to focus on the subject before taking the picture. Simply tap the subject on your phone screen before tapping the snap button. Focusing on the subject will capture more details and color.

3. Notice details

Before you leave and move on, look closely at the picture you've taken. Are people's eyes closed? Are there any objects that look like something is "growing" out of someone's head? Any photo-bombers?

4. Zoom in naturally

If you want to zoom in on a subject, physically move closer to the subject instead of using the zoom feature. The picture will turn out much better. If it is not possible (like you're taking a picture of a wild animal) take the picture from far away, focusing on the subject, and zoom in and crop later.

5. Change orientation

Remember to switch the orientation to improve your picture. Some subjects are better photographed horizontally - like landscapes and groups of people. Other subjects like buildings and individual people are better as portrait photos.

6. Place subject in the center

To place the focus of the photograph on the subject, make sure it's in the center of the frame. This draws the eye to the intended subject and is more aesthetically pleasing.

7. Personalize

You are more likely to keep, use and remember personal pictures, so don't be afraid to take a selfie, use the self-timer or ask someone to take a picture for you.

8. Change perspective

Want a unique photo? Capture your subject from a different standpoint. The world can be seen, experienced and captured from so many perspectives: above, under, behind, close, far or up-side-down. Look for reflections and silhouettes. Be creative!

9. Frame the subject

Use natural elements to frame the subject like trees, buildings or arches. This is an artistic way to highlight the subject.

10. Filter

Sometimes using black and white, sepia or other filters can better capture a specific mood, emotion or feeling.

11. Don't limit yourself

Try to capture what you see and feel. Photography is an art and subjective to what you love and experience. Pictures capture specific moments in time and help us remember people, places and events. But photography also enables us to express the way we see and experience life. There are no limits!

The post 11 tips for taking incredible photos with your phone appeared first on FamilyToday.

Several years ago, I went through an extremely difficult year in which everything went wrong. My bank account got hacked into and emptied. I was taking intense college classes and doing terribly. I had no friends or social life. I went through many different challenges, and it was terrible. I felt lonely, insecure and discouraged.

That year I also had to make some big decisions that would influence the direction of my life, and I was terrified. I felt so many mixed emotions and continually doubted my ability to succeed and accomplish my goals. I was afraid, and I let fear control my life.

Then one day I was reading a spiritual message and a line stood out to me that said, "Fear and faith cannot coexist in our hearts at the same time." Immediately in my mind I responded, "I choose faith." I wrote this down in my journal and it soon became my motto for that year. I repeated it to myself over and over. I made some big decisions and encouraged myself by declaring, "I choose faith."

Years have passed since that difficult time in my life, and life keeps getting harder and harder, but "I choose faith" is still my personal motto. I say it to myself ALL the time. When fears creep into my mind I reply back, "I choose faith." When I don't understand why certain things happen I respond, "I choose faith."

It works wonders.

I hope everyone finds a family or personal motto to guide and encourage through life's ups and downs.

Here are 50 ideas for your life motto

Life is to be enjoyed

Everything will be okay

Just be happy

Let it go

Keep going

One day at a time

I can do this

Joy in the journey

Get your butt behind you

It will all work out

Keep moving forward

In one hundred years it won't matter

Save guilt for sin

Let go and let God

Hope is the last to die

Life is good

Choose the right

Seize the day

One step at a time

I can do hard things

I am never alone

You only live once

Make yours a great life

I can do anything

God knows better

I am loved

See the good

I choose my life

Keep on keeping on

Have courage and be kind

Smile, it will be okay

This too shall pass

Onwards and upwards

Just be yourself

Don't take the easy road

Expect the best

Just breathe

It's a new day

I love my life

Just keep swimming

I am not afraid

Never give up

All is well

I've got this

Do what you love

Count your blessings

Dare to be different

Refuse to sink

No regrets

Be the change

The post 50 statements to guide your life appeared first on FamilyToday.

Islam is a religion with more than a billion followers. Every year Muslims observe a month of fasting called Ramadan. This is what it's all about.

Muslims fast from dawn until sunset for every day of the designated month. The fast includes abstaining from food, drink, tobacco and any sinful behavior such as lying and fighting. All healthy adult Muslims are obligated to fast during the month of Ramadan. There are several exceptions to this rule including pregnancy, illness and travelling.

The month of fasting is determined by the lunar calendar. Ramadan takes places in the ninth month of the year based on the crescent moon.

Ramadan celebrates the first revelation given to Muhammad in the year 610 AD. This experience began a series of revelations to Muhammad, and these now make up Islam's holy book, the Quran.

The suhur is the meal eaten before dawn to begin the fast, and it is accompanied by the first prayer of the day. Many Muslims rise early in the morning to eat this meal. Some then go back to sleep before their day begins. Parents often wake their children with drums or music to begin the meal.

Iftar is the meal eaten to end the fast. This has become a celebration and social gathering among friends, family and neighbors. These meals can be quite large with lots of food and dessert (it's ending an all-day fast, after all!).

Islam promotes generous giving and charity. Many Muslims give a larger portion during Ramadan and often invite the poor and needy to join them for meals.

Muslims are encouraged to increase their spiritual practices during Ramadan, like reading the entire Quran and attending the mosque for prayer.

Different Islamic cultures have adopted various means of celebration and decoration. Some festivities include hard-boiled egg wars, flying kites and fireworks. Some people go door to door to wish others a happy holiday and to receive traditional treats.

In places with extreme sunlight hours (Iceland and Norway) or winter sunlight hours (Australia), Muslims are permitted to follow fasting hours of Mecca, Saudi Arabia. Otherwise, they could be fasting for 22 hou

rs!

The purpose of the fast is to cleanse the soul and recommit to spiritual devotion and worship. It is a time of increased effort and dedication.

Eid al-Fitr is the holiday marking the end of Ramadan and the end of fasting. This day has specific prayers and traditions which are celebrated differently from country to country. In many traditions, this is a Christmas-like day where children receive money and gifts.

Ramadan has become a commercial holiday as well. Many stores have exclusive Ramadan sales during the month, and television networks air special programs. Like Western holidays, Ramadan is all about spending time with family and loved ones. Observers wish each other well and share greeting cards on social media. Work slows down, and people come together to worship and spend time together.

If you have Muslim friends or neighbors, be sure to wish them a happy Ramadan! It's a special time of the year, and now you know what it's all about.

The post Everything you need to know about the Islamic celebration Ramadan appeared first on FamilyToday.

Sometimes it's hard to know if he likes you or not.

Maybe he just considers you a good friend, and he's a touchy person. Maybe you're crazy and making things up in your head.

OR maybe you're completely oblivious and have no idea what's actually going on! Here are 9 giveaway clues he totally likes you:

1. He makes excuses to touch you

He offers to rub your back, he grabs your arm to change directions, and he sits nice and close whenever possible. Hugs, high-fives, knees touching under the table, elbow resting on your shoulder ... He uses ANY excuse to touch you.

2. In a crowd of people he chooses to talk to you

Of all the people he could be spending time with, he wants to be with you.

At social gatherings he may talk to other people, but somehow he always ends up by your side.

3. He walks close to you

Close enough that you notice. Sometimes your hands even brush.

4. He remembers things you've said

He asks you questions and cares what you have to say.

He randomly remembers things you've told him in the past and knows exactly where you want to go for lunch. He remembers the names of your siblings, foods you hate, and what you wore last Sunday.

5. He calls you his best friend

And without realizing it, he's yours.

6. He subtly asks what you want in a guy

Light conversations gradually turn to serious ones. You talk about your dating lives and what you each want for your future. Somehow you end up telling him all about your most awkward date, past relationships, and what you want in your future spouse. He knows your fears and insecurities and what drives you crazy about guys. He knows it all.

7. He talks trash about other guys

"Oh that guy you went out with last weekend - yeah, I don't think he's right for you."

"He seriously did that? What a loser."

"You think that guy is attractive? Really?!"

Jealousy. No one will ever be good enough for you.

8. He talks to you about personal things

He opens up his heart to you. His greatest fears, most embarrassing moments, childhood insecurities - he wants to tell you about them.

He's not afraid to share his weaknesses and personal challenges. He lets you see his nerdy hobbies. He talks about the things that matter the most to him, his family dynamics and his hopes and dreams. He trusts you.

9. He looks at you a second too long

When talking to you he looks straight into your eyes. His focus stays on you, just a second too long, and it catches you off guard.

Other times you catch him looking at you. When you make eye contact, he quickly looks away and keeps doing whatever he was doing. You slightly blush and try to calm your beating heart.

Maybe your thoughts and guesses are right - he does like you.

The post 9 subtle clues you’re clueless – he likes you! appeared first on FamilyToday.

Enjoy the greatest summer ever with these ideas for you and your family:

1. Swim in a natural body of water

It's summer, you just have to.

2. Barbecue

The smell of meat cooking while sitting outside in lawn chairs is just so summeresque.

3. Buy a swimsuit you love

You deserve to feel great this summer. Use this site to determine the perfect swimsuit for you.

4. Star gaze

There is something so magical about lying in the grass, looking up into the heavens, and staring at the stars. Let yourself be blown away by the wonder and vastness of the skies. You may even get to wish upon a shooting star.

5. Go camping

Even if it's in your own backyard.

6. Go to a drive-in movie

Or you can create your own outdoor movie experience. Make popcorn, eat candy and get comfy with lots and lots of pillows and blankets.

7. Ride a boat

Whether it's a ski boat, ferry, or kayak - ride a boat!

8. Read a book for FUN

Here is a list of great books to get you started. Order one online or stop by your local library. Have a book handy when you go to the pool or relax at home. Summer is the perfect time to get caught up on reading.

9. Take a sunset walk

10. Rock out in your car with the windows down

No shame.

11. Go to a rodeo

If you've never been before - GO! Rodeos are so fun and entertaining. Warning: your heart may skip a few beats while watching bull riding and wild broncos. It's okay though, it adds to the thrill and excitement of rodeo.

12. Pick fruit

Straight from the tree.

13. Watch fireworks

You should also (carefully) set some off!

14. Go a whole day without getting ready

Because you can.

15. Sleep in as late as you can

Also because you can.

16. Slide down a waterslide

I mean, who doesn't love adrenaline, water, and wedgies?

17. Go to a concert

Summer is the best time to take advantage of concert tours, state fairs, and music festivals. Check online to see what's going on around you.

18. Complete a house project

That project you've been wanting to do all year? Now's the perfect time!

19. Change your hair

Chop it off so it's cool and breezy for the summer, add some highlights, or just let it do its thing.

20. Go on a bike ride

21. Draw with chalk

Create a chalk masterpiece. Draw some flowers or write a quote. Outline your friend or child. Or, drawing a Hopscotch is always a classic.

22. Learn new skills

Like... cooking, basic car mechanics, first-aid, swimming, or surfing. Summer is the perfect time to acquire a new skill.

23. Have a bonfire

S'mores are a must. You should also experiment with other options like roasting Starburts' candies. Seriously!

24. Visit somewhere new

Go far or go near. But go!

25. Go to a baseball game

Let me "root, root, root" for the home team, if they don't win it's a shame. For it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the old ball game.

26. Fall asleep in the sun

It's the greatest. (Just don't get sunburned.)

27. Water fight!

The post 27 things you MUST do this summer! appeared first on FamilyToday.

Chances are you know someone struggling with depression. It can be difficult to understand and to know how to support them. Here are six ways you can actually help:

1. Listen

When someone you love is dealing with depression, the best thing you can do is simply listen. Don't give advice; it really doesn't help. Much of what you have to say, they already know.

Depression is scary — you know all the answers, but you don't have the capacity to feel or do anything. Depression is a serious illness and no amount of exercise, spirituality or encouragement will alleviate the symptoms.

So just listen. Ask questions. Let them explain how they feel. Acknowledge the reality and severity of depression and express your sincere interest in their battle.

It's OK to say "I'm sorry" and "I wish I could help more." Empathize with your loved one, but never judge or belittle the struggle.

2. Don't leave them alone

Keep close tabs on your loved one dealing with depression. Have they been to a doctor? Are they taking their medication? Are they going to counseling? Ask these questions and make sure they are getting the medical attention they need.

It is VERY frustrating to work with doctors and counselors to find the appropriate treatment for depression, and sometimes it takes months to find the best medication or therapy. So don't let them give up! Depression cannot be healed by ignoring it.

3. Do your research

Read about the disease here.

Medications should not cause numbness. Use this website to know what antidepressants should and should not do.

Many have tried to articulate what it's like to face depression. Read articles like this and accounts like this so you can better understand the complexity and difficulty of mental illness.

If someone you love is struggling with depression, do your best to learn all you can. This will enable you to be more effective and educated in helping them through their struggles.

4. Strive to uplift

Be cautious about what you share with those dealing with depression.

One evening I talked on the phone with three different friends and relatives who all spoke about their struggles, breakups and failures. After hanging up the phone from my third conversation that night I felt an immediate wave of total despair and hopelessness, falling into an episode of really intense anxiety and depression.

Be aware that depression already creates an internal world of sadness, negativity and despair in the lives of those who suffer. So be cautious and sensitive.

One thing you can do to help is to infuse light into their lives. Share positive, uplifting experiences and stories. Send funny pictures and videos. You can talk about the hardships of your life, but include the good stuff too and always remain positive and hopeful.

For those dealing with mental illness, the future seems daunting; so try to keep conversation focused on day-to-day events and happenings. Try not to add more pressure to an already-overbearing load of emotions and fears.

5. Understand the limits

There are many things that make dealing with depression easier. For example, it helps me to spend time outside, to be around family and to read terribly sad, true stories that make my life seem a whole lot better. However, none of the things I choose to do actually heal or alleviate the depression. The illness is a chemical imbalance in my body that needs legitimate treatment through medication and cognitive therapy.

So, encourage your loved ones to do things that alleviate the symptoms (playing music, making crafts, etc.) but please understand that this will not change the body's chemistry. Studies show that the most effective treatment for depression is a combination of antidepressants, exercise and therapy. Don't expect a great vacation or happy life event to snap your loved one "back to normal."

6. Be patient

You really have NO IDEA what your loved one is dealing with. So until things change and the depression is improved, all you can really do is love them and be patient.

Keep hanging out with them even if they're moody, lifeless or sad. That is not who they really are. Pray and support and encourage.

Please do not give up. They need you.

The post 6 real ways to help someone with depression appeared first on FamilyToday.

The 20s are full of emotions and experiences- some pleasant, others not so much. Here are 20 stages you go through when you're 20-something:

1. Excited

Life is just getting started and it is oh so exciting! The future is full of unknowns but you are eager and ready for anything.

2. Ambitious

You have everything going for you. The sky is the limit. You're going to crush the whole college thing and change the world. Your head is full of dreams and goals and plans.

3. Crazy

Sometimes you are straight-up crazy. You stay up all night and survive on microwave meals and sugar. You go on last-minute road trips. You run from the cops and try things you've never done before. You get in trouble. But hey, you're 20-something and this is YOUR life.

4. Adventurous

You travel. You explore. You leave the country. You get the ultimate profile pic.

5. Obsessed

With boys. Duh.

6. Committed

You commit to a major, a program, or a job. This is your calling, this is where you belong, and you settle in for the long haul.

7. Driven

You work really, really hard: school. Job. Relationships. You try to please everyone and go, go, go.

8. Social

Your friends become family and you do everything with your squad. You will be part of each other's lives forever.

9. Tired

Alright, you're exhausted. This lifestyle is catching up with you and you're tired of everything. You need a break from life but the load never seems to ease up.

10. Jaded

The enthusiasm you once felt is fading. You're bored with life.

It's Friday night but all you want to do is stay home, eat dinner in bed, and watch TV.

11. Homesick

One day you wake up and don't want to be an adult anymore. You're tired of being independent, and you just want to go back to the good old days when your parents paid the bills and made you food. Your bed was so comfy back then, and you were safe and taken care of.

12. Confused

(The mid-20s crisis.)

Is this really what I want to do with my life? Why am I here? What is my purpose?

How do I get rich really fast?

What is wrong with men? Where do I find a good guy? Do I even want to get married?

Who am I?

DAHHHH.

13. Frustrated

All of your best laid plans are slipping through your fingers. Opportunities fall through, doors are closed, and dreams fall to pieces. This is not how you imagined your life going.

14. Realistic

Your goals and ambitions become more realistic. You still dream big but you better understand the complexities of life and what you can and can't control. Some things fall into place, others don't, and that's okay.

15. Content

You're going to be alright. Your friends aren't going anywhere and your family will stand by you forever. There is no need to fear.

16. Pleasantly surprised

New doors open and unexpected opportunities arise.

17. Certain

You make big life decisions and commitments. You know the significance of these choices, and you are sure.

18. Amazed

Your life is nothing like you imagined it, but somehow it's better.

19. Grateful

You realize that all the detours and dead-ends led you somewhere beautiful. You are thankful for your trials and realize that God knew your destination all along. You get sentimental thinking about the people in your life that love and support you, and you feel grateful for all of the experiences that have shaped you into someone new. You have come a long way and you are proud.

20. Happy

Finally.

The post 20 stages when you’re twenty-something appeared first on FamilyToday.

Everyone will someday walk through their own personal hell. When everything in life conspires against you, please remember:

1. Keep on walking

If you're walking through hell, don't even think about slowing down, settling in, or giving up. Do not get comfortable. You were not designed to be miserable, unhappy, or perpetually disappointed. Don't let those feelings become normal. You deserve to be happy, and don't let anyone convince you otherwise, especially yourself.

Keep on walking despite how tired you are or how steep the road ahead looks. Put one foot in front of the other and keep trekking along. Even if you can only take baby steps, face yourself in the right direction and keep walking. Never stop. You are making progress, and you will make it out.

2. Pull someone with you

If you're walking through hell, you're probably not alone. Most likely there are people you know walking a similar, scary road. Their track may look completely different than yours, filled with different obstacles and dangers, but they are nearby. Look around and you'll see. Take them by the hand and walk the path together.

3. Don't show your fear

Put your game face on. Even when all hell breaks loose against you, do not show your fear. Face the journey with your head held high, determination in your eyes, and a smile on your face. You can do this.

4. Shield yourself

Hell is a scary place, but you have protection. Use the tools God has provided you for your journey.

"Put on the whole armour of God..."

"Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked."

"And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:"

"Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit..." - Ephesians 6: 11,16-18

God has provided tools to shield you from the "fiery darts" you encounter daily. Your faith will protect you. Keep reading God's word and keep praying. This builds an armor of protection around you that cannot be penetrated. You may have to walk through fields of fire, but with God's protection, they can't harm you. God will shield you if you let him.

5. Recognize the emergency crew

If you're walking through hell, look for the people specifically sent to help you. You may have to walk through your own personal hell, but don't overlook all the people cheering you on and pulling you forward. It may be family members or friends praying for your success, helping with everyday matters, and keeping you company. Doctors and counselors offer professional guidance and help. Religious leaders can provide means of comfort and strength. You have people that want your happiness and health. They really do want to help you.

6. Never look back

Once you've made your way out of hell, never look back. You've probably become accustomed to the sights, sensations, and feelings, but that is not where you belong. Take the lessons you have learned and move forward. Do not live in the past. There's a reason you went through hell; now it's your turn to reach back and help someone else make that all too familiar journey.

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