DaCarla M. Albright, MD, a physician at Penn Medicine, says every child is different, so there isn’t a right way to educate them about sex. It’s up to the parent to figure out when is the right time to talk to their children about sex, Albright says.

“Once a child gets older and approaches puberty, they’re going to start being educated—mostly erroneously—by their peers. Or they will pick up information from the Internet, from sources that aren’t always reliable,” Albright says. “The onus is really on the parents to guide the conversation and control it before the child gets misinformation.”

Some parents choose to wait to have conversations about sex once their children hit puberty, but many experts suggest talking to your kids when they are younger. It’s also important to note that puberty begins from the ages of 8 to 14. Some children reach it before and after their peers. As parents, you should be prepared for these conversations.

Some topics will come up, particularly for children between 9 and 11 years old, like how babies are made or masturbation. It’s important to be prepared for these topics to come up. It’s helpful to have conversations with children about sex, bodies and sexuality as your child moves towards puberty so that they understand that sex, along with sexuality, are healthy, typical parts of life.

We are all aware that today’s youth live in a highly wired world. Heavy media exposure leaves young children susceptible to sexual subjects presented in distorted and superficial terms.

It’s also important to figure out how you want to approach “the talk.” Through popular culture, we are often told that this will be one conversation when it’s more than one. You should be prepared for many of them.

“Give the information on a consistent, ongoing basis, because one talk is definitely not going to do it,” Laura Berman, assistant clinical professor of obstetrics and psychiatry and author of "Talking to Your Kids about Sex: Turning ‘The Talk’ into a Conversation About Life,'” says.

“Before you even begin thinking about talking to your kids about sex, get really clear on what your own attitudes are and perspectives…Once you and your partner reach an understanding of the optimal context for your child, those values frame your conversations,” Berman explains.

When we have honest and open conversations with our kids when they are young, it can make some of the tougher, later conversations about sex easier. The early conversations we have with our kids can lay the groundwork for making wise, healthy and safer choices when it comes to sex and sexual relationships later in life.

It’s imperative that when you have conversations about sex, you talk about these things at your child’s level. The way you talk to an 8-year-old will be different from how you talk to your 15-year old. The best advice is to be positive, brief and factual. Your child will likely come back to you asking for more information.

It’s also helpful to use the correct names for body parts. While experts say that pet names are ok to use as well, using the correct names will help children understand that talking about the parts of the body is ok and healthy. Don’t forget to talk to your children about the function of each body part. When a child knows that their body belongs to them and the parts of it, they are able to communicate clearly about their body as needed, like when they are discussing the body with health professionals.

Sex conversations don’t need to be one-sided or by one parent. All parents should get involved as they are able. Having both parents discussing sex is another great way to show children that it’s ok to talk about sex and sexuality. This can also allow your children to feel more comfortable when it comes to discussing their bodies, their sexual feels and also communicate in intimate relationships when they get older.

Now, don’t think you need to be a sexpert to have conversations with your children about sex. It’s ok to tell your kids, “I don’t know.” They don’t need you to be an expert. They just need to know that the lines of communication are open. Keep the lines of communication open for them to talk to you and ask questions. If and when you don’t know what to say, tell them that you don’t know the answer, but you will research it and get back to them. Just remember to actually get back to them promptly. You can also suggest that you look the information up together.

It’s important to note that sexuality isn’t just about sex. Sexuality is also about the way your children feel about their developing bodies. It is also about how they express feelings of attraction, affection and intimacy for others. This also expands into hours they develop and maintain healthy and respectful relationships.

These conversations can be uncomfortable. You may even feel embarrassed when talking about bodies, and that’s ok. The key for every parent is that their children receive safe and reliable information. They should never feel embarrassed or scared to ask you questions about sex and sexuality. These conversations will continue to evolve and grow.

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Identify Why Intimacy is Lacking

One of the most crucial things you can do is identify what issues are causing intimacy to be lacking in your relationship. Does your spouse feel unappreciated? Are they overworked? Are they not feeling the way they look in the mirror? These types of thoughts can be sabotaging and really get in the way of intimacy. There are also other issues like having a history of commitment issues, evidence of cheating, including emotional infidelity, and mental hang-ups that can really challenge intimacy in your relationship. One big way to work through this is to talk openly with your significant others about these barriers. Express your feelings and your hang-ups. Don’t expect your spouse to just know what you’re feeling. Communicate the problems directly to them.

Take Emotional Scars Head On

Do you or your partner have unhealed emotional scars in your relationship? You must deal with this issue if you want to strengthen intimacy in your relationship. Issues like jealousy, fear of abandonment, and possessiveness could be creating roadblocks in your marriage. If you or your significant other were wounded in their childhood or previous adult relationships, there might be emotional scarring and fear they may or may not have confronted. This can get in the way of intimacy being reached. It’s imperative that you and your spouse trust each other enough to take on these underlying issues together.

Be Open About Your Needs

Talk to your spouse about your needs and desires, inside and outside of the bedroom. Do you know a lot about your spouse's sexual history? Suppose you or your spouse isn’t used to monogamy. In that case, there could be an underlying fear of intimacy or commitment because that hasn’t been modeled in previous relationships or the relationships of the people around them. You and your spouse should also be willing to discuss your needs and work together to satisfy them. This doesn’t mean that you present unrealistic expectations and expect your spouse to meet demands. It just means that you’re comfortable enough to talk about what turns you on and off. It’s hard to adjust things when you’re not open with your partner about them.

Be Vulnerable

If you or your spouse struggle with intimacy, one of the big keys to reclaiming it is being vulnerable with them. This starts with letting your guard down. This may not be the easiest thing to do, but it is the first step to transforming your relationships. If trust has been broken in your relationship, you will both have to put the work in to restore it. This begins with being able to show your feelings and your weaknesses to your partner. When we begin to do this, we can truly begin the process of better intimacy with our spouse.

Be Patient

It can be really difficult to push through relationship stress and grief, particularly if there has been a major breakdown of trust in your relationship. Sometimes, it takes a lot longer than we hope. This is why it helps to give your spouse space and time to work through their emotions. Sometimes, it can take therapy and counseling to help break through some of these issues and begin the process of healing. Having an objective, third-party can help people see things more clearly and place you and your partner in the space you need to be in. For example, if cheating occurred in your marriage, your therapist will help you see that people grieve and recover differently. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, so patience is so important.

Admit You Are Powerless

One of the greatest steps in restoring intimacy in your marriage is to acknowledge the fact that you can’t handle all the problems in your relationship on your own. You must be able to recognize the ineffectiveness of your attempts to change your spouse’s character flaws and faults. When you realize that you can’t control everything that’s happening in your life, and you are powerless to change who your spouse is, the true change in your relationship can begin. Start by admitting you don’t need to control everything.

Let Go of Bitterness

When you have a hardened heart, it can bring on a lot of stress and pain. It’s incredibly hard to remove bitterness from your heart. One of the first reasons is because it’s hard to forgive when you’re bitter. You probably feel justified for being angry. You also may feel like your spouse doesn’t deserve forgiveness until they beg for it. You may be holding on to a hurt that your spouse isn’t even aware of. Your spouse may not have even realized how upset you are or that they offended you. Also, don’t sleep on the fact that bitterness spreads. When you hold bitterness in your heart, it can contaminate your body and your spirit. This is one of the worst things that can happen to your relationship.

Some couples will give up on their relationships before really working on physical and emotional intimacy. Remember, building this is a process. You must work at it every day if you really want your relationship to thrive. If your relationship is in a rough spot, you are constantly at war, or you’re sensing greater distance with your spouse, take time out to think about what you really want from your relationship. Write these things out and then actualize them. Do these things and prepare for the most intimate year with your spouse yet.

The post 7 Ways to Have the Most Intimate Year Yet appeared first on FamilyToday.

Go on a Road Trip

Going on a road trip to a destination you and your partner love or have never been before is a great way to be romantic. Many of us take time off around the holidays, so if you have the days to travel, use them. The time you spend in the car is a great time to reconnect, listen to music, share stories, relive old memories, and create new ones. If you want to be nostalgic, consider playing a few fun car games. You don’t have to be a kid to play them. Book a room at a hotel, Airbnb, or B&B. Get a room with a balcony or scenic view. It doesn’t get more romantic than this.

Walk Around the Park

This may seem like one of the simplest places to go on the list, but it is incredibly romantic. If your area has a park that is open in the evening, this is the ideal place to go. Walk together, hand-in-hand, enjoy the lights. Do some people-watching. You may get lucky and have most of the park to yourself. Often, parks can be super impactful date locations because they bring us back to our relationship's early days. Maybe it’s the place itself, or it could be the simplicity.

See the Holiday Lights

The warm twinkle of Christmas lights can set your heart aglow and give you all the feels. Lights can make ordinary houses, parks, light posts, and trees look extraordinary. Check around your area for holiday light locations. Usually, these lights are set up before Christmas and run through New Year’s Eve. Sit back in your car, hold hands, and listen to some of your favorite, classic holiday tunes. It will be such a magical journey. If your town doesn’t have a holiday lights exhibit, consider finding a neighborhood that has a lot of lights up. Most towns have hots spots for Christmas light decorations and displays. Consider creating a holiday music mix or tuning into your favorite holiday playlist while you’re driving around.

Go Ice Skating

There is just something that is so romantic about ice skating. You imagine couples holding hands as well as they can. You also think of one person falling in slow motion and the other person laughing, but still looking into each other’s eyes, displaying genuine love between each other. Maybe it’s because holiday movies have romanticized ice skating, or it could be because they really are cool date locations. If your area has an ice-skating rink, especially an open one, consider going here as a New Year’s Eve destination. It will be so sweet to see all the trees lit up, the families and couples skating around you.

Enjoy Nature

Nature provides one of the ultimate backdrops for romance. If your loved one is a fan of the great outdoors, it may be time to take them outside this New Year’s Eve. Be sure to bundle up, especially if it’s super cold. There are so many choices when it comes to nature dates, but a great place to start is by going stargazing. Throw a blanket down in the grass or the sand, then add some pillows to make it the ultimate stargazing experience. If it’s too cold to be outside, consider sitting in the car with some light music. Reflect on some of your favorite memories from the past year and everything you’re looking forward to in the New Year.

Stream Together

This is a really great date idea for couples who enjoy streaming movies and shows. If you’re not in the mood to go out on New Year’s Eve and simply want to take it easy, consider getting cozy on the couch and binge-watching your favorite series. You can also use this time to re-watch some of your favorite movies together. This may not seem like a super out-of-the-box idea, but it is time that you can really appreciate your partner. You may get a little too comfortable and end up falling asleep before the clock strikes midnight.

Dinner on a Rooftop

If you’re open to spending a little money on New Year’s Eve, consider taking your partner to dinner on a rooftop. Some rooftop restaurants and bars are open just for this very romantic opportunity. Rooftops have always had a cozy and cool vibe that makes people want to gather and linger, especially in the late hours. It’s hard to think of a better spot to remind a person that you care about how much you love them than a rooftop experience. When the clock strikes midnight, just be sure to give your partner a kiss.

You don’t have to spend New Year’s Eve sitting on the couch watching celebrations in other, faraway destinations unless that’s what you want to do of courage. This year, take the time to go the extra mile. Grab your partner and celebrate a brand new kind of new year with a special romantic date or getaway. Not only are these date ideas incredibly special, but they also won’t break the bank. Who could ask for anything more?

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]]> https://www.familytoday.com/family/7-new-year-traditions-to-start-with-your-family/ Wed, 30 Dec 2020 22:17:12 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=45572 Traditions are important.

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]]> Who doesn’t love a good family tradition? Not only does tradition contribute to a sense of comfort and belonging, but it also brings the family together and connects you. It reinforces crucial values like freedom, faith, integrity, and personal responsibility. Another wonderful thing about traditions is that they represent a critical piece of our culture. They help form the necessary foundation and structure for our families and society. While you may already have established traditions with your family, the New Year is a great time to start new traditions with the people you love the most. Here are seven New Year traditions to start with your family this year.

Create a Family Gratitude Journal

During the New Year, many people want to get their mind and spirit right. We also want to reflect on what really matters to us the most. What better way to do this than to begin a family gratitude journal? Each week, set aside time to log in one thing that you’re thankful for. At the end of each week or month, each family member can sit together and reflect on the things each person said they were thankful for. This is a great way to remind yourself of the importance of being thankful while also acknowledging what you value the most.

Eating Together at Dinner Time

Eating together, especially at dinner time, is a dying family tradition. One way to keep it alive is by making it an important time for your family. Some of the closest families value the time that they eat together. It is a time to reflect on the day, share funny stories, life concerns, or mindless things. It may also be the only time that your family actually gathers in one place. We live in such a busy, fast-paced, schedule-driven society. It’s nice to think about being intentional with our time with family. We often drown our time in streaming, games, social media, and technology. We don’t take the time to pay attention to the people that really matter. If dinner is not a good time for everyone to gather, consider making breakfast the meal that you eat together. If family members work during dinner hours, consider setting aside the time to do this when that family member is free. It will be really nice to pause and catch up with loved ones.

Volunteer With an Organization

Is there a cause or an organization that matters a great deal to your family? Consider volunteering with that organization that means something to you. Volunteering simply means that you are giving your time and abilities to help others without being financially compensated. Just because there is no money made from volunteering doesn’t mean that there isn’t a lot that you can gain from it. Many nonprofit organizations rely on volunteers to accomplish daily tasks and reach necessary goals. Remember, there isn’t one thing we can accomplish in this world alone. Consider banding together with your family in the New Year to make the changes you want to see in the world.

Go on a Weekly Family Walk or Hike

Being active is super important. It may even be one of your New Year resolutions. What better way to be active than to do it with people you love who will also be encouraged by it? Consider going on a weekly family walk or hike, depending on the area that you live in. This is a great time to bond while also holding each other accountable to goals they wanted to reach in the New Year. There are so many places that you can go to get this goal accomplished. Find a neighborhood, city, or national park to go walking or hiking. You can also keep things simple and just take a walk around the block. Sometimes, the easiest places or the ones that are most convenient for everyone. The important thing is that you’re staying active while also connecting with the people that you love.

Organize a Neighborhood Drive

Organizing a drive brings people together for a good cause. In the New Year, consider organizing an annual neighborhood drive. People tend to gravitate to food drives because they are easy to get others to participate in. A successful drive takes a lot of planning. Some of the large-scale drives begin with planning and organizing months ahead of time to make sure the logistics are right. Don’t let that discourage you. If you have an idea for organizing a drive in just a few weeks, don’t be afraid to go for it. The best place to start is by contacting the organization you want to help. They will be able to point you in the right direction of everything that’s needed to get the drive off the ground.

Start a Birthday Dinner Tradition

This year, consider beginning a birthday dinner tradition if you haven’t already started one. Allow members of the family to select a place they love to eat or would love to try. When their birthday comes up, the family will all gather at this place for dinner and dessert. If there isn’t a restaurant someone is keen on, consider making their favorite home-cooked meal. This is something that will make everyone in the family feel incredibly special.

Make Surprise Notes For Loved Ones

Reading an encouraging note feels good, especially when it’s coming from loved ones. It’s even better when you don’t see it coming. This year, consider making surprise notes for loved ones and occasionally leaving them around the house. If you guys are a digital family, consider leaving a sweet text message. These reminders are precious and will let the people in your family know how much they are valued, loved, and appreciated.

The New Year is a great time to begin new traditions. We may not be able to let go of all the things that came with the previous year, but we can wipe a lot of the slate clean. There is so much to look forward to, especially when we’re intentional about them.

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]]> https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/how-to-embrace-being-alone-on-new-years-eve/ Wed, 30 Dec 2020 00:38:28 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=45560 It’s ok to bask in your singleness.

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]]> If you believe you’re the only lonely single out there, you are definitely mistaken. Loneliness is common, especially around the holidays. When you’re single, you may feel vulnerable and empty. There are times when the emotions can be minor, but there are other times where the feelings are pretty intense. Feelings of loneliness can also bring on feelings of incredible stress, can make you feel isolated, and close you off from the possibility of new relationships. It’s common to look at other couples with some envy during the holidays, wishing that you were walking in their trues. While it may be hard to see it now, many benefits to being single often get overlooked. If you’re feeling down about being alone on New Year’s Eve, consider these six things.

More time for yourself.

If you’re single on New Year’s Eve, it can allow you to really focus on yourself without the distraction of someone else. While being in a relationship doesn’t mean you will automatically be distracted from the things you care about the most, being single allows you to focus on the things that matter to you the most. If you want to stay in your house in your pajamas or watch the ball drop with your friends, that’s your business. The same goes for your life. You can decide to train for a marathon, focus on your career or your new hobby, and be able to focus on these things solely. Ultimately, you will have time to get to know yourself. This is so important because there will be points in your life when the only person you can trust and rely on is yourself. Being alone can help you figure out what you really need from someone else. There’s no point going into the New Year not clear about this.

You have more freedom.

You will never have more freedom than when you are totally single. When you’re a free agent, you can navigate the world based on your own needs and desires. This is incredibly liberating. It’s not that you won’t be able to retain your individuality when you’re with someone, but relationships do require sacrifice. You won’t have to check in with anyone or have somebody guilt you into doing anything. If you plan to stay out late with friends or at dinner at midnight, that’s your prerogative. If you want to spend the entire day shopping or riding around the city, there isn’t anyone stopping you. Relationships require compromise. There is no compromise needed when you’re single.

You have less drama to deal with.

Think about the fact that you won’t have to deal with any relationship drama in the New Year. When you’re with someone, you have to balance your needs and their needs as well. You have desires and needs, and they will have them too. If you don’t choose to compromise, no one fully gets what they want, or only one party wins. This can create major resentment, drama, and stress. If you’re single during the holidays, you won’t have to worry about this confusion and stress. Then you can completely focus on your own needs and not feel selfish about those needs.

You can focus on friends.

One cool thing about being single on New Year’s Eve is the fact that you can focus on your friends and loved ones. Usually, we put our partner’s wants and needs first. When we’re in relationships, our lives revolve around our partners. We generally don’t have the time and energy we used to focus on our friendships like we previously did. If you’re single around the holidays,

You can go wherever you want.

You can go where you want on New Year’s Eve when you’re single. You’re not tied to one place. You can choose to visit family, or simply stay home. It’s all up to you. If your company has given you some time off, use it to your advantage. It’s not that you can’t travel and have fun with a person you’re dating, but being single allows you to pick up your suitcase and go anywhere without feeling guilty about it. Take some time to really relax. The only schedule you’ll have to consider is your own. It is a lot easier to satisfy your traveling desires when there isn’t someone at home waiting for you who has specific expectations. Do these things now before you’re caught up in a relationship.

You can open your heart for love in the new year.

Casual dating is really great because it gives the opportunity to meet new people. It’s also a great time to have a lot of fun and learn what you’re looking for in someone new. When you’re casually dating, you don’t feel completely single, but you also don’t have the limitations of a long-term relationship. It allows you to meet different people, some who may appeal to you more than others. If you’re single on New Year’s Eve but open, it allows you to meet and possibly open your heart to a new person. The people you meet at your friend’s New Year’s Eve party may not be a dating match, but it may open up the opportunity for some great conversation and new friendship.

You may have spent the last 365 days thinking about your single life, but New Year’s Eve isn’t the time or place for feelings like this. There is no greater time to embrace your singleness than the biggest holiday celebration of the year. We should be thinking about all the good things we have to look forward to in the year ahead. Being single isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You may not feel like it’s fun or enjoyable to be single, especially during the holidays, but there are so many doors that open up when we’re actually single. Bask in the glory of your freedom by remembering these six things.

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]]> https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/5-new-year-resolutions-couples-can-make-together/ Wed, 30 Dec 2020 00:37:45 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=45551 Start the year off right with your partner.

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]]> How many times have you said, “new year, new me”? The idea of change sounds great when the new calendar year is approaching. We start pulling our list of resolutions together and really look forward to having our best year. However, when the time comes around, it is a different story. Unfortunately, many studies show that most of us will not follow through with our resolutions of change. While the data may not be encouraging, we can go against the grain and follow through with the resolutions we set for ourselves. Who better to do this with than our significant other? Here are five new year resolutions couples can make together.

Lose Weight, Be More Active

Losing weight, getting fit, and being more active are some of the most common resolutions people make. Generally, we pile on more weight in the winter season. After all the yummy holiday foods and leftovers, it’s not surprising that losing weight and getting fit would be on the top of most people’s lists. According to statistics from the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, more than two-thirds of adults are considered obese or overweight. This is one of the reasons it’s so imperative to take our health seriously. Our lives depend on it. If this is a goal that you and your partner are trying to reach, it makes sense to make this journey together. You guys can work together as partners. Not only will you look your best in the new year, but you will also feel your best in the new year. Also, fitness clubs tend to offer great deals at the beginning of the year knowing how popular these resolutions are. Make your health a top priority with your partner in the coming year.

Stress Less

We all stress. There probably isn’t a day you can look back on and not think about a point where you stressed, at least some bit. The idea of eliminating stress in your life is a great one, but it is also an incredibly big task. For many, it’s a goal that’s too big to reach. We tend to stress just thinking about not stressing. When January 1 comes around, you may start thinking about all the things you didn’t do in the previous year and all the things you’ll have to do in the year moving forward. While eliminating stress all together may be too large of a task, there are small things you can do to reduce the stress that you may want to consider doing with your partner. Consider taking out time to meditate or do yoga with your partner during a time you are both available, and able to focus on these tasks together. Not only will it reduce stress, but it will also bring you guys closer.

Debt Reduction

Another top resolution is to let go of bad spending habits and reduce debt in the new year. Yet, this resolution is a lot easier said than done. If you're incredibly deep in debt, it may be hard to think about getting rid of it all at once. Then add in the fact that around this time of year, we tend to spend our money buying special holiday gifts. Debt reduction can be a great goal to set with your partner in the new year. Many financial advisors recommend that you begin to make small, budget-friendly goals for yourself instead of setting large, unattainable goals. If you’re someone who buys lunch during your break every day, consider packing your lunch at least three times a week. You will be amazed by how much money you will pocket when you put away the money you would have spent on the non-essentials.

Let Go of Drinking, Smoking

Drinkers and smokers tend to make quitting their top priority when it comes to their new year resolutions. We know that smoking cigarettes and drinking heavily is bad for our health and our wallets. Eliminating these from our daily intake sounds great, but success rates tend to show otherwise. Generally, we can kick the habit for a few days or weeks, but when the new year's stress starts to weigh in, we pick right back up on old habits. This is why it’s a great idea to work with a partner on this. Sometimes, just having your partner in your corner is the support you need to keep pushing through a bad habit. Even if they are not a drinker or a smoker, they can still keep you focused and hold you accountable to your goals.

Volunteer For a Cause

Few people don’t want to feel like they are being a better person and making a difference for those in need. This is one of the reasons why it’s such a popular resolution. We know that all the problems from the previous year will be very present in the new year. While many people’s hearts are in the right place, even the kindest people can have difficultly following through with these commitments. Often, we are so caught up in our own lives that finding time to commit to volunteering can be tough and stressful. The start of the year is a great time to consider taking up a cause you are passionate about. This is a wonderful venture to take on with your partner. Not only will you feel like you’re making a difference in the new year, but you will also feel empowered. Change begins with us.

Resolutions can be difficult, but they are achievable. A great way to get started on any resolution with your partner is to write out your goals. Begin to manifest them. What are you planning to achieve? What are you willing to be intentional about? What are your timelines for each goal? Hopefully, the changes that you make will be more than short-term goals and will dramatically improve your life and your partner’s for the better. The time for change is now!

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]]> https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/6-reasons-your-husband-doesnt-want-sex/ Wed, 18 Nov 2020 00:33:10 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=45126 Don’t ignore the warning signs.

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]]> There was a time where it felt like your relationship was on fire. There was no stopping your connection and the spark between you. Now, the light has dimmed, and you’re wondering what happened to the love you had for each other. This feeling can be excruciating, especially when it translates at home, and into the bedroom. There are several reasons your husband may be distant from you, which could be getting in the way of your connection. You must deal with these issues if you want your marriage to work. Here are six reasons your husband doesn’t want sex.

Insecurities

Your husband may be fighting insecurities you’re not even aware of. Even when you’re with the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with, insecurities will be present. Your husband may compare himself to the person you were with before them or the co-worker you’re always talking about. They may be dealing with inadequacy issues, especially if there are other issues present in the relationship. Your husband may also be dealing with other issues outside of the marriage that are getting mentally.

Infidelity

Does your husband seem distant? Is he spending more time away than with you? These may be signs of infidelity. Infidelity shows up in different forms, both physical and mental. It is one of the greatest obstacles that can destroy marriages. If your husband is having a physical or mental affair, it will certainly get in the way of his relationship with you. Too often, people think it’s a “just-in-the-head” affair. They wonder if it’s that bad if there is no sex involved. Mental and emotional affairs are so sinister because it is an affair of the mind. You may think it’s just a friendship, but it is way more damaging than that. They also hope that their significant other will continue believing what they tell them to continue in their unhealthy relationship. Infidelity is a marriage destroyer, no matter how you look at it.

Pride

We are often told to guard our hearts, so it’s hard for us to give away pieces of our heart when we’ve dealt with pain from previous relationships. So when it’s time to give everything to their marriage, they struggle because they don’t have anything left to give. There is a very dark side to the pride that can undo your marriage. If you had a sexual past that your husband knows about, his pride might get in the way, and he may hold that past over you. This isn’t healthy, but it happens more often than not. Pride can reveal itself in other ways. It can show up verbal put-downs, the “I’m right, and you’re wrong” mentality. It is also a big driver of entitlement. It is completely centered on self-interest.

His Work Life

One thing people often don’t think can get in the way of your sex life is work. His work life may be so overwhelming that he is not even in the mood to have sex. Sometimes the biggest threats to our marriages are our occupations. If your husband is so caught up in his work, he may turn to his career for satisfaction and gratification. If he is hard-working and driven, certain things like money and accolades at his job can turn him on and take away from his home life. If you feel like work is getting in the way of your sex life, see if there are some ways that he can balance out his work-life responsibilities. It is ok to put certain boundaries in place to keep work away from the bedroom.

A Visual Affair

You may think a visual affair is innocent, but these can be just as damaging as cheating with another person. This can occur with someone you know, but it can also occur with someone you don’t know. It involves fantasy. In the past, these relationships typically occurred in the office or even a motel room. Now, we have greater access to it with such great access to the internet. Pornography falls into this category. Your husband may not think it’s that serious because he doesn’t feel like committing a physical act. They think that as long as they aren’t touching that person, they aren’t violating their marriage. The truth is, porn takes your mind away from your spouse and places it where it shouldn’t be. The more you engage in visual adultery, the more likely you will be cheating on your partner. If your partner is addicted to porn, it’s time for him to seek help. There is no way that this won’t take away from your marriage.

Medication

Did you know that taking certain medications can lower a man’s libido? The same goes for women. While the medications your husband takes may help treat certain conditions and diseases, they can also have some pretty serious side effects. These include sexual dysfunction. This can lead to sexual disinterest and the inability to stay aroused during sex. If your husband is dealing with these issues, there is hope. He can work with a physician who can help alleviate these issues while also still treating the condition he is dealing with. If your husband thinks that his medication is impacting his sex drive, have him talk to his doctor so he can get back on track. Not only can these medications have physical ramifications, but they can also impact his mental health.

If any of these things are showing up in your relationship, pay attention to them. It’s ok for your husband to be tired sometimes and to even want some space, but if he’s spending more time figuring out how to be away from you, something is up. Don’t ignore your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Talk to your spouse and take the necessary steps to ensure your relationship gets back on track.

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]]> https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/how-can-i-create-a-sexually-satisfying-relationship/ Sun, 15 Nov 2020 23:31:59 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=45069 It’s time to reignite that spark.

The post How Can I Create a Sexually Satisfying Relationship? appeared first on FamilyToday.

]]> Being open with your partner about sex isn’t always the easiest thing to do. The truth is it can be downright awkward. Getting to a point where you’re completely satisfied sexually doesn’t happen overnight. Whether you’ve been involved with your significant other for a short time or a long time, you will eventually confront uncomfortable sexual moments and challenges. This is ok. One of the good things about these experiences is that we can learn from them. It takes time to be completely open, but this is one of the most significant steps needed to get to a place of sexual satisfaction. It’s also important that you build trust, openly discuss needs and concerns, and clarify what’s on and off the table. In addition, you have to be completely comfortable with your partner inside and outside of the bedroom. If you want to create a sexually satisfying relationship, consider these five things.

Make sex a priority.

Connection and intimacy are so important. They are like the lifeline of your relationship. We are sexual, emotional beings that thrive on attention, love, and affection. It’s important that we intentionally work on and nurture our relationships to promote intimacy in our relationships. You should remember that more sex doesn’t mean more intimacy, and more intimacy doesn’t mean more sex. You and your partner should set up a time for sex and also make intimacy a top goal. It is critical to think about how you want to enhance your connection with sex and how to maximize pleasure with your partner. A great way to do this is by setting weekly goals that include hugging, kissing, affection, and foreplay.

Value your one-on-one time.

Those who are in sexually satisfying relationships are clear that great sex requires effort. They know that they have to nurture their relationship physically and emotionally. While we may all have super busy lives, our relationship and sex lives can’t thrive if we give them little time, attention, or effort. You must prioritize quality time alone together. When we’re caught up in our business, it’s easy to forget about the needs of others, including our partners. One of the keys to improving sexual satisfaction is making it a priority to spend more time together and value that time spent.

Be comfortable talking about sex.

Those who can talk about sex have better sex. You may not think about it, but one of the most important factors of having a healthy sex life is actually talking about a healthy sex life. Too often, when sex comes up in conversation, we’re indirect and vague because sex is just weird to talk about. When we do make the time, typically, we rush to finish the discussion. The reality is, the less direct you are about what you desire, the less likely you are to get it. This is why talking about sex is so important. It is a great way to strengthen intimacy and connect with your partner profoundly. Couples who are comfortable with each other are aware that the key to a sexually satisfying relationship is being comfortable with their partner. Partners who are in sexually satisfying relationships have no issues discussing sex before, during, and after.

Understand what turns your partner on.

Do you know your partner’s turn-ons? If you really want to know the answer to that, you can do one simple thing. Just ask them. Ask your partner directly what turns them on and off. If you think the person you’re with is not satisfied, ask them what you could do to strengthen that connection. Partners who have strong sexual chemistry are generally open to trying new things. When we’re at the start of our relationship, we’re often more reserved. Once we really get to know and trust our partner fully, we are more open to exploring, experimenting, and discussing our fantasies. As long as you and your partner are on the same page, sexual satisfaction will come naturally.

Keep the sparks flying daily.

Couples who are sexually satisfied keep the sparks flying inside and outside of the bedroom. They make that spark a priority in their everyday lives. If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship, you know that the spark will eventually dim. This comes with the territory. While sparks commonly dim, there are things we can be intentional about to keep the fire and romance alive. One of the things that makes a relationship exciting, especially in the beginning, is the flirting. Just because we’ve been in a relationship for a long time doesn’t mean that the sparks have to go away. Couples that have been together for a long time can flirt too. One of the ways you can do this is by making suggestive comments and sending flirty text messages to your partner. We should always strive to make our partner feel special.

When you are intimate with the person you are completely at ease with, the two of you have no trouble pausing and laughing at any funny, award curve sex may throw at you. These little things can actually make sex really fun and bring you closer together. Trust is key in every relationship. One of the big signs of trust in a relationship is being comfortable telling your partner what’s on your mind and what you’re into. If you want to try something new in your relationship or a fantasy you want to explore, don’t be afraid to tell them. A good, loving partner will want to know these things. They should also be comfortable expressing themselves with you. One of the big reasons couples in sexually satisfying relationships thrive is because of how comfortable and open they are with each other.

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]]> https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/relationship-red-flags-you-should-never-overlook/ Thu, 12 Nov 2020 22:42:46 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=45036 Keep your eyes open.

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]]> It’s very easy to ignore red flags when you’re excited about a relationship. We want to be married to the right person for us, the kind of person that makes us feel special most days. We know the things we like about the person, but sometimes there are gaps and blind spots we just can’t see. When red flags begin showing up in your relationship, it’s pivotal that you don’t ignore them. When you do, it will sabotage your relationship and leave you with a lot of heartaches. There are also red flags that you don’t even realize apply to you too. If all the signs point to trouble, there probably is. Here are six relationship red flags you should never overlook in a relationship.

Broken Trust

It’s no secret that if your relationship lacks trust, there will be many issues. Trust is something we all want to have in our relationships. When it’s absent, this is a major red flag of insecurities in the relationship. When trust is missing, it can also stunt the growth of your relationship. Some of the ways trust is often broken in relationships include not being there for your partner in times of need, lying or manipulating your partner, not being open about your feelings, and withholding information, particularly in times of need. If you want to restore trust after it’s been broken, consider the reason behind the lie or betrayal. The betrayal of trust may be a result of misunderstanding or miscommunication. While this doesn’t justify the behavior, it can help you make sense of it. Also, be sure to communicate. This may be one of the hardest, painful, or uncomfortable things you’ll do, but communication is one of the greatest features of rebuilding trust after a relationship betrayal.

Addictive Behavior

Be concerned about the person you’re with if they have addictive behavior. If they are, they are capable of seriously damaging the relationship. These addictive behaviors aren’t just the ones we talk about a lot like drugs, alcohol, gambling, and pornography. They can also include an activity or behavior that is controlling their life. These can include things like fitness, shopping, and sports. They may seem small, but his or her addiction can take priority over your relationship. While nobody is free of certain habits and traits, you should steer clear dating people who put their hobbies and habits above their relationships.

Abuse

Many people live in pain and darkness due to abusive relationships. Abuse can show up in many forms – physical, mental, verbal, and emotional. If you’re feeling powerless in your relationship, this is a big red flag. If you feel like your significant other is loving you one minute and pushing you away the next, all while punishing you for not doing things correctly, you are being abused. The constant emotional roller coaster ride of arguments and apologies will eventually wear you down. It’s unhealthy and a big indicator that it’s time to walk away.

Holding the Past Over You

Any partner that holds the past over you is not the person you should be with. Be mindful of those who will say things like, “I used to be so much happier,” or “You used to look so much better.” These people will belittle their partners and make them feel like they are forced to live up to certain standards. This is unfair and unrealistic. While it can be nice to reminisce, it’s not fair to hold those expectations over the person you claim to love.

Another thing to watch out for is someone who judges you for something that happened before your relationship with them. Your past should not be the focus. Anyone who holds your past discretions over you is not the one for you.

Fear of Commitment

This is a flag that is often overlooked but should never be ignored. When we are seeking a lasting connection and a romantic bond, we don’t want to look at their long relationship history. You may find yourself with someone who claims that every single relationship fails, or that all connections are unhealthy. If this is the case, the issue may be something they are unwilling to accept responsibility for. They may be the kind of person who cannot see their faults or believe they aren’t responsible for doing any of the major work in the relationship. These are all significant signs that they are unwilling to commit. Don’t ignore this.

Cheating

If you begin noticing that the person you’re with can’t account for specific activities and behaviors, pay attention. This is a red flag. If your partner’s behavior doesn’t add up, it’s probably for a reason. Keep an eye on their actions. Are they always on their phone and computer? Are they suddenly working longer hours and seeming more distracted? If you notice that these things are all going on, especially at odd hours, it’s time for you to confront your partner about it. If they get incredibly defensive when you ask them questions about their actions, they are probably doing things they shouldn’t be doing. Your partner should want you to be comfortable and keep trust present. If they do anything but that, it’s a red flag that shouldn’t be ignored.

It’s easy to ignore the signs that something is wrong in the relationship when we’re in love, but we must keep our eyes open. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. If you feel like something is up, talk to your partner about it. Instead of making assumptions or jumping to conclusions, be honest, and open with your loved one about your concerns. Be mindful of how they respond. Someone who loves and cares about you will ensure that you are ok. If they are doing anything other than restoring confidence, beware.

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]]> https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/6-ways-to-save-your-marriage-from-divorce/ Wed, 11 Nov 2020 19:30:38 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=45021 Don’t let your marriage go.

The post 6 Ways to Save Your Marriage from Divorce appeared first on FamilyToday.

]]> Marriage takes a lot of effort. It doesn’t help that many things are pulling for our attention that makes nurturing our relationship difficult. Everything from children, work schedules, and other obligations can seem impractical to maintain a partnership. Then, when problems show up in relationships, many couples find divorce to be the best option. Others see working on the marriage as the better choice for their relationship. If you are looking to prevent divorce, you can put specific actions and measures in place. Here are six ways to save your marriage from divorce.

Make commitment a top priority.

When your marriage goes through a dark period, healing will take time. It’s imperative that on your marriage journey, you and your partner are 100 percent committed. That means, when things get tough, you are 100 percent dedicated to saving your marriage. This commitment won’t always be easy. It will require sacrifice. This may mean that you and your spouse will have to let go of the need to be right so that you aren’t tearing your relationship down. If you are dedicated to your marriage, you will take the necessary steps to make things work. It may be hard in the beginning, but the work will pay off.

It’s also crucial that you don’t toy with the idea that you might be better off outside of your marriage. This can put an immense strain on your relationship, even if you keep these thoughts to yourself. These thoughts can cause significant breakdowns in your marriage and make you less motivated to work on your relationship. One way to combat this risk in your marriage is to decide together, ahead of time, that divorce is not an option. Making this commitment will ensure that you focus on making your marriage partnership stronger instead of thinking that the grass is greener outside of your marriage.

Be patient.

In most cases, marriages don’t fall apart overnight, so there shouldn’t be an expectation that your marriage will be healed overnight. Most couples deal with in their marriage usually come up after many violations have taken place over time. If these violations aren’t dealt with, they can turn your marriage upside down. This is why it’s so important to practice patience with your partner and with yourself. If your spouse’s transformation doesn’t happen quickly, that’s ok. If your change doesn’t happen soon, that’s ok too. What’s important is that you both are committed to change. When you are, it shows that you are both committed to resetting and restoring the marriage. Take time to focus on the role you’re playing in the equation. There will be times when your marriage is tested. Yet, when you practice patience, you can get through any trial you’re facing.

Respect your partner.

Change is inevitable. So it shouldn’t be impossible to understand that your partner will change over time. We are not the same people we were ten years ago. Respect is everything. When respect is compromised, it eats away from any trust that was present in your marriage. That’s why it’s critical to appreciate, understand, and adapt to those changes. You can begin doing this by making a list of your partner’s greatest qualities and remind yourself of the amazing person you fell in love with. Doing this will help you focus on why you got married in the first place.

Share financial concerns and expectations.

Many marriages fail because they don’t get real about their finances. Too many marriages breakdown because financial issues and concerns were not expressed. Often, couples have different expectations and habits around money. When this happens, it can be challenging to relate to each other. This is why you need to map out how you will handle money in the marriage. It’s one of the most critical components of a successful relationship. It’s also helpful to agree on a budget, how you want to approach debt, and what it looks like to live within your limits. Another thing that’s imperative is separating your wants from your needs. While it’s ok to satisfy your wants sometimes, many couples have problems when their desires supersede their budget.

Communicate often.

Regular communication is important in every marriage. This can be tough, particularly in a technological age where we are pulled into our smartphones, Netflix, and work-from-home lifestyles. Everything can seem like a distraction. You may even find that you are going days without having a real conversation with your partner. You should keep the lines of communication open. Talk about what’s going on in your daily life, share your frustrations, dreams, and feelings with your partner. Not only does this help strengthen your communication, but it also strengthens intimacy.

Let go of the need for control.

The healthiest marriages thrive because both parties have mutual respect. They don’t demand their way on their spouse. What’s important to keep in mind is not monitoring or controlling your spouse. It’s also essential that you give your partner the space to be who they are. Too many marriages fail because one person felt like they were being controlled and didn’t have the freedom to just be. If you are always trying to control your partner, you are at risk of becoming emotionally abusive. The same goes for your partner trying to control you. These habits will eventually lead to divorce. If your spouse tells you they feel like you’re being controlling, listen to their words. Take a step back and figure out what this is rooted in. Getting to the heart of this will help get you guys back to the place you need to be.

If you’re experiencing brokenness in your marriage, there is still hope. Don’t give up. Also, don’t be afraid of counseling and therapy, which can also help get to the core of your marital problems. Take the necessary steps to get your relationship back on track.

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