How can you best provide support to your daughter through all of the challenges she is facing? How can you best support her as she embarks on the emotional rollercoaster that is teen pregnancy?

Facing your own emotions

Your emotions are likely going to be all over the place, even if you had been suspecting your teenager was pregnant; the moment the pregnancy is confirmed can be a complete shock to your system. It can be tempting to dwell on your own feelings, but it is essential that you recognize this moment is not about you. This is the time that your daughter needs your strength, your love, and your support more than ever.

Regardless of how you are feeling, this is going to be a challenging period for your whole family. While you should not shelf your emotions and ignore them, it is important to remember that effective communication is key in any successful relationship. Emotions will run high. However, the more rational and level-headed you can be the better communication you will be able to share with her, and the sooner you can all come to an agreement regarding options.

Pregnancy can be a tumultuous event for your teenager. If she knows she doesn't have to face it on her own she will be able to make the best decisions for her future, and her baby. Identify your emotions and your feelings about her pregnancy, work through them with the help of a counselor, and be there to provide the acceptance and support she needs.

Helping her cope with her emotions

Until a few weeks ago, your teenager may have had nothing more serious on her mind than picking out the perfect prom dress, or spending time with friends. Now she is faced with a body that is undergoing rapid physical changes, and the reality that the life she'd planned for herself is about to change drastically.

Your daughter may be feeling horrible shame, guilt, and overwhelming sadness at discovering she is pregnant. She may be concerned that she will be the subject of ridicule at school, or that her boyfriend may leave her. Above all, she may be terrified that her parents may turn their backs on her.

It can be immensely beneficial to allow a neutral third party to provide counseling and guidance to your pregnant teenager. Counseling will not just help her work through emotions, but it can also help her be better mentally and emotionally prepared to face the challenges that lie ahead.

Considering her options

Your teenager is going to have a significant number of decisions to make. It will be difficult to allow her to make some of these decisions herself, but it is essential that you do not push her into making a decision that she will regret for the rest of her life.

To ensure that her pregnancy continues on a healthy track, your daughter will need to have appropriate prenatal care. While you are facing your own flood of emotions, keep in mind that, for the sake of your daughter and the baby, you need to ensure both of them remain healthy. Some teenagers keep their pregnancies hidden as long as they can because they fear the disappointment and anger once the pregnancy is revealed. They may even take steps to try and terminate the pregnancy on their own. This can lead to a host of complications, including infertility later in life and life-threatening consequences.

The sooner you are able to get her health evaluated, the sooner you will be able to start helping her make decisions.

The father of the baby should be involved in many of the decisions as he will be legally and financially responsible for the child in every state. However, this does not mean you should pressure your daughter into marriage. Forcing your opinions or using threats on your teenager is only going to backfire and potentially result in her turning away from you at a time when she really needs your support.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution. The key is to explore all of her options, get her healthcare needs taken care of, and offer advice when she asks for it.

The responsibilities of pregnancy

There are a number of responsibilities that your pregnant daughter will need to accept. The practicalities of bringing a child into the world need to be decided upon before the baby arrives.

• Will your daughter keep the baby?

• Will she consider adoption?

• Will she raise the baby on her own, or will the father be involved in the baby's life?

• Where will they live?

• Who will shoulder the financial responsibilities for the baby?

• Will your daughter pursue her education?

• If so, who will pay for childcare while she is at school?

• What type of assistance are you able to provide to her?

• Will you help with the financial responsibilities?

• Will you allow them to live in your home?

As a parent, you need to give serious thought to the level of commitment and involvement that you can afford to offer to your daughter. You have limitless levels of love and emotional support to offer, but the reality is you may not be able to shoulder the full financial burden of caring for the baby.

The reality is that it is best for pregnant teenagers to do their utmost to finish their high school education so that they can pursue a college degree or certification program later on. The more education that your teenager is able to get under her belt, the better life she will be able to create for herself and for her little one. More than 60 percent of pregnant teenagers drop out of school, and it can be all but impossible to return later on.

Working with a counselor or social worker can help you and your daughter work through these types of issues so that you can find a solution that works best for all of you. There are often school, church, and community programs that offer services for teenage mothers so that they can continue to pursue their educational goals.

As a parent, you are in a position to have a positive impact on your daughter's life, and on the life of her baby. Certainly you may wish that things had gone in a different direction for her. But by offering the support she needs, and by being the best source of strength and wisdom in her life, you may just find that the result is you are both better parents for it.

The post My teen daughter’s pregnant – now what? appeared first on FamilyToday.

Today's parents know there is no one right definition for punishment. Regardless of how bratty or misbehaved the child is, he or she can only benefit from expressions of love and support. A true understanding of discipline should be more about expressing self-control rather than for the child to be blindly obedient to adults who are bigger, stronger, and louder than they are.

Setting the standards for good behavior

The standards for good behavior are relative and will be vastly different between each family. What you may consider a display of improper conduct and poor manners may be completely acceptable within another family unit. How then do you set your own standards for behavior, while being aware of the fact that your child will be exposed to other forms of behavior that may be completely acceptable with another environment?

Keep in mind that your children cannot understand what is expected of them if you do not make it exceptionally clear. Without offering consistent forms of discipline or corrective words, you may find that you are confusing your children. Children who are not acutely aware of what is expected of them will continue to display behaviors that you may consider inappropriate.

Every word you say or action you take is an opportunity to teach your child. The lessons taught will be reinforced until your child reaches the point where he is taking responsibility for his own actions.

Consider the scenario of your toddler throwing a ball in the house and knocking down a lamp. You may tell him not to throw the ball, and you may put him in timeout or mete out another form of punishment. Your goal is not to demonstrate that you are charge, and you need to be obeyed without question. Your goal is not to prevent your child from throwing that ball. Your goal is to ultimately teach the child respect for personal property, and to respect the idea that knocking down lamps and other items is destructive and unacceptable behavior. Certainly you may need to reinforce the idea several times until your child recognizes and understands that with self-control balls do not get thrown, lamps do not get broken, and other destructive activities do not occur.

If you are not consistent with your expected standards of behavior from your child, your child simply will not respond in the way you are hoping. And if you are displaying anger, or losing your temper and breaking things yourself, you are not setting the appropriate behavior example that your little one needs.

Age-appropriate punishments

As a parent, you should recognize that age-appropriate punishments are also a key step to ensuring your children learn the difference between right and wrong. Younger children don't need punishment as much as they need guidance. When your child reaches 2 years of age, an understanding of the difference between right and wrong will start to form. You'll find it difficult to effectively mete out punishments to a defiant 2-year-old, when with a 1-year-old, a stern word was enough to get the message across.

The personalities of both you and your child can also play a role in the effectiveness of the punishment. You may find yourself with a 2-year-old that bursts into tears at the slightest of reprimands, yet her twin sister deliberately repeats the bad behavior as an act of defiance. Try to keep in mind that, despite how much your blood pressure is rising, your purpose in handing out punishments is not to harm the child or get even. It is the bad behavior that you dislike, not the child.

Punishment should not be delayed so that the children can "think about it." Certainly if you are filled with unhealthy anger toward your child, you should place her in her room until you have both calmed down. The longer you delay punishment the less of an impact it will actually have on the child. You may opt to delay meting out the consequences for bad behavior for an hour, but by that point, your 3-year-old may have completely forgotten about it.

Timeouts are effective methods of punishment for children of any age. It is just as appropriate for a frustrated and overtired toddler as it is for a preteen who is testing your limits and patience with rebellious behavior. The key difference is that while your toddler is to sit in the timeout space for a few age-appropriate minutes, your older child may spend as much time in his or her bedroom until they have accepted your terms or are ready to apologize for poor behavior.

The most important thing to remember about timeouts is that they provide an often much-needed period to cool off, for both the parent and the child.

Following up with logical consequences

One of the more reasonable forms of punishment would be to allow logical consequences to be the result of poor behavior. Even the youngest child can understand that throwing a toy results in the toy being confiscated and that hitting or biting results in being removed from the situation until the child has cooled off.

These logical consequences can be applied to situations that will evolve as your child grows. Forgetting to follow through on chores could result in not being allowed to go for a bike ride with friends. A rude attitude can result in time spent alone in a bedroom that does not contain a television, computer, or other forms of electronic escape. It makes little sense to banish a child to his or her bedroom to consider poor behavior and actions, only to have them seek solace and entertainment on the Internet, or with a movie.

Nature is driving your child to learn independence. Your little one is still trying to navigate this great big confusing world. Keep your expectations reasonable. Offer choices to your child and employ diplomacy. These are much more effective methods of getting acceptable behaviors.

Be firm but loving

Never withhold affection from your child as a form of punishment. When you are disciplining a young child it is important to follow up with a quick hug, kiss, and an "I love you"� as soon as you can after the timeout or other punishment. Your child should always feel confident that they are loved and that they can come to you for a hug or a positive word of praise. Punishment can be one of the most difficult aspects of parenthood to face. Being aware of what it is that you expect from your children's behavior will allow you to better convey it to them so that they will understand what is expected of them as they learn to exercise self-control.

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Dealing with the issue as soon as it comes to light is the best method of ensuring you receive a satisfactory outcome for all involved parties.

First, when you enroll your child in any new facility, make a point to find out the process for handling complaints. Many childcare facilities have developed their own set of procedures for handling grievances or complaints which can help guide you toward the most effective method of seeking a resolution for your concerns.

There are typically two types of issues that parents experience with their daycare providers.

• Issues that are routinely identified as being against the rules and regulations that govern how a childcare facility should operate. Some of these could include inappropriate methods of discipline, too many children than the center is licensed to accommodate, and leaving children unsupervised.

• Issues that are related to personal concerns that parents have about the care offered to their children, or differences in opinion concerning the best methods of caring for their child. Some of these could include not checking for soiled diapers frequently, not establishing a routine for the little ones, or not accommodating food requests.

It is important to note that if your child has food allergies, you should make the daycare center aware so the potential for accidental exposure to the allergen can be eliminated.

Resolving Issues, Swiftly

If the issues that are cause for concern are those that may be violating state laws or putting your child at risk of harm, you should immediately seek out alternative childcare. If the infractions are minor in nature, discuss them with the daycare's director so that she is aware of these concerns. If the issues are not resolved in a timely manner, you should again seek alternative childcare options for the benefit of your child. The correct authorities to handle such issues are the state childcare licensing department, and child protective services.

For issues that are more on a personal level, you will find that developing a positive relationship with your child's care providers and the director of the childcare facility can simplify the process for you. With proper communication and an established relationship, you can often deal with the majority of issues through a simple conversation at the onset of the concern. Communication is a key in ensuring that you avoid or greatly reduce complaints. Ideally, it should begin prior to your child's first day in the childcare facility. Communication can also lead to compromises that can often be worked out when both the parents and the caregivers have trust in one another, and have formed that positive relationship.

Consider the following tips when addressing problems with your daycare provider.

• Do not approach the caregivers or daycare director with anger or harsh words. Instead, clearly identify each of your concerns and establish a solution that will work best for you. Then, adopt an approach that takes on more of a problem-solving approach, rather than an angry approach.

• Be firm on your point-of-view on the issue. Also, give some thought on what you may agree to be a reasonable compromise.

• Schedule an appropriate time and place to discuss your concerns with the caregivers or daycare director. It is not appropriate to hold the discussion in front of your children, or in front of other parents. Ask for a private chat in the hallway, or a meeting room.

• Listen to the opinions or thoughts that are shared with you by the caregiver. Make sure you clarify all related facts so that both parties arrive at a mutual understanding of the issues.

• Be certain you are adopting a tactful approach to the conversation. Avoid using an accusatory tone. This will help prevent the caregiver from going on the offensive, in lieu of holding a reasonable conversation.

Once you have reached an understanding of how the situation will be addressed and resolved, be sure to let the caregivers or daycare director know if the situation has, in your opinion, improved, or whether it has not at all progressed in a positive nature. If the situation doesn't improve, you may need to explore the possibility of looking for another daycare facility for your child.

Keep in mind that maintaining a positive and successful relationship with your daycare provider is a two-way street that requires your frequent involvement. Your child's care is not something you should have to compromise. Don't downplay issues that are, in fact, giving you cause for alarm. A diaper rash from not being changed frequently is not a minor issue, for example. While it is unlikely to threaten the life of your child, it does lay the foundation for potential neglect in other areas of caring for your child.

You are your child's voice. You are the only one who can determine what appropriate care is for your little one. Trust your instincts and react swiftly in a logical manner.

The post When mom’s away is baby OK? Dealing with daycare issues appeared first on FamilyToday.

While the mere thought of traveling with an infant can leave a parent wrought with anxiety, the truth is that you may just be putting yourself through unnecessary stress about the whole experience. Here's a little something you may not have been told by your friends and family: Most babies sleep on planes. Whether the flight is a quick one-hour jaunt to see grandma, or an international leg that stretches as long as 18 hours, your little one is very likely to spend the majority of her time on-board fast asleep.

Let's face it. We've all been guilty of having preconceived thoughts about how an infant or toddler will behave on a flight. If you think about it, how many times have you stepped off of a plane only to notice that a passenger a few seats down has an infant tucked against her body? For every infant that does make her presence loudly known on the plane there are just as many, if not more, infants that sleep sweetly for the duration of the flight.

Let's take a look at some of the ways you can handle your anxiety about traveling with your little one.

Be prepared, but don't overpack

As parents, we tend to overpack our diapers bags and prepare ourselves for every potential issue that we could experience while we are away from the comfort of our homes. For a new parent who spends more time packing the diaper bag for the trip to the grocery than time spent actually buying groceries, the idea of being on a plane without your supply of baby essentials can be stressful. The truth is you don't really need that much, especially if you are nursing your little one. Diapers, wipes, a few shirts or sleeper outfits, a blanket, and perhaps 2 pacifiers. If you use formula, premeasured amounts of formula and empty bottles are all you need. The flight attendants will be happy to get you warm water to help make up the bottles.

Accept help when offered

Most travelers on the plane with you will be understanding of a fussy baby and may even offer to give you a hand with holding the baby while you go to the restroom, grab your bag for you or get warm water for you. Accept the offers of help from other passengers, especially if you are traveling solo with the baby. This could be the little bit of anxiety and stress relief that you need for the journey.

Comforting baby

The biggest concern you may have about your little one might be the way the change in air pressure can hurt her ears. Offering your little one a bottle, pacifier, or nursing her will help her ears to pop and adjust to the change in air pressure.

Once the pilot has turned off the seatbelt sign and indicated that you can move around on the plane, you can walk the aisles of the plane or stand toward the rear of the plane to rock your little one. The sounds of the plane's engines can often provide a soothing white noise that will both block out her cries and help her to drift off to sleep.

Handling dirty looks

It doesn't matter how angelic your little one is on the plane, you are sure to be on the receiving end of dirty looks from other passengers. Don't let the visual jabs add to your anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed. Dirty looks never killed anybody. Responding with a polite smile and looking away is the best choice for your sanity.

If one of the passengers do decide to take his dirty looks a step further and makes a comment about your little one exercising her lungs on the plane, do your utmost to ignore his comments. You will find that he is definitely in the minority with his less than polite comments. The majority of passengers will be very understanding of a crying and upset baby, especially if she is a parent.

If you are truly concerned about causing a disruption to the other passengers, consider purchasing a few inexpensive boxes of earplugs. For just a few dollars, you can have plenty of earplugs to hand out to the passengers around you, so they are less rattled by your upset little one.

Baby's first few flights can be nerve-wracking for parents, especially first-time parents. Keep in mind that the whole experience is more of an ordeal for you than it will be for your little one. Babies are very good at adapting to their environment, especially if their parents do their part to keep them feeling secure. Keep your little one warm and comfortable with a full belly and she probably won't fuss much at all for the duration of the flight.

The post Dirty looks never killed anybody: Traveling with an infant appeared first on FamilyToday.