Alicia Walters – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com Here today, better tomorrow. Fri, 08 Apr 2016 14:44:00 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.3 https://wp-media.familytoday.com/2020/03/favicon.ico Alicia Walters – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com 32 32 This parenting method may be just what you need https://www.familytoday.com/family/this-parenting-method-may-be-just-what-you-need/ Fri, 08 Apr 2016 14:44:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/this-parenting-method-may-be-just-what-you-need/ Because this one's probably the right fit.

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As parents, we are equipped with a natural instinct to protect our babies. And as those babies grow and begin to test their boundaries, our instinct to protect them develops into what we think is in their best interest — and that includes discipline.

Janet Lansbury, author of "No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame," points out that one of our mistakes as parents when our toddler acts out is that we take it personally, which can make us angry. She asserts that as the child grows, he is testing his boundaries in new environments and this testing is not to act out against us, but rather to help him determine his relationship with his new surroundings. When we take something that is natural to him and take it personally and become angry, our methods of discipline may not be in our child's best interest.

This article from the Huffington Post, "Humiliating Children in Public: A New Parenting Trend?", is about some parents who feel that publicly shaming their teens will teach them a valuable lesson. "In a moment when so much else in life is lived out loud and in public, it would follow, in a backwards and disjointed kind of way, that the method of discipline as old as The Scarlet Letter would seem fitting in a modern age," the article states.

For several reasons, however, public shaming will not have the effects parents desire.

1. Public shaming labels the child

Labels, like names, have influence over a child's self-concept. It is unfair to label anyone, but especially someone in his formative years — the years where making mistakes is normal and even expected.

2. Public shaming breaks trust between the parent and the child

As the child is humiliated publicly by his parent(s), he won't feel inclined to trust them. The relationship moves from "we are a team" to "me versus my parent." Parents should be their child's foremost advocate.

3. Public shaming disables forgiveness

When a parent publicly shames his child, he invites the public to take part in condemning the child. It would have been much simpler for the issue to be spoken about and forgiven in private; now, with the entire village involved, the child can no longer hold his head high.

Just as a toddler is experimenting with a new environment and pushing boundaries, children and even teens are as well. They will make mistakes.

The fix-it and forget-it method of parenting is straightforward

1. When a child or teen makes a mistake, course correct or "fix it"

Recognize that the mistake made during a child's formative years does not indicate what kind of adult the child will grow to become. Immediately forgive the child.

2. Set a meaningful consequence

Choose a consequence that is appropriate; one that is non-violent and non-shaming, but that includes your child saying he is sorry for his actions.

Beyond that, be able to address the pros and cons of different decisions with your child. Show your child how to set goals and reward him for achieving those goals as an alternative to making poor choices. This will teach your child how to make smart decisions both now and later in life.

3. Forget it

Demonstrate to your child that you can forgive and forget. Do not bring up your child's past mistakes. Don't talk to other people, especially in front of your child, about his past mistakes. Don't bring up your spouse's past mistakes, either. When you bring up the past, you let the emotions and baggage from it into your present life. It is toxic and will help no one. Allowing everyone a chance to start again with a clean slate is one of the best ways to demonstrate love and acceptance.

4. Do something positive together

This will help your child learn that even when he makes mistakes, he doesn't have to continue down the path that those mistakes would have him go. Instead, he can apologize, fix it and be loved and accepted by family members and friends as if the mistake hadn't been made.

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6 essential things to include in your child’s morning routine https://www.familytoday.com/family/6-essential-things-to-include-in-your-childs-morning-routine/ Wed, 06 Apr 2016 06:25:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/6-essential-things-to-include-in-your-childs-morning-routine/ Here are 6 important things to do to help your child have her best chance for a great day.

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As a teacher, I have seen kids show up to school on an empty stomach, in a thin T-shirt (in the middle of winter) and with hair that hasn't seen a shower in weeks. I didn't see this at a poor school. These were middle-class kids. They had access to proper hygiene and enough food at home, but these things weren't prioritized in their morning routines. Parents are understandably busy before their days begin, and kids are left to their own devices to get ready and to school on time.

This independence may work for older children, but younger children need help to arrive at school clean, fed, with hair combed and with clothing clean and neat. Think about it: do you feel good when your mouth is dirty or when your clothes stink? Can you concentrate when you are hungry? Children's needs are the same. I do not spend an enormous amount of time with my child every morning before school, but I insist on spending a minimum of 30 minutes with her to make sure she starts her day off correctly.

These early years of school are critical in shaping your young child's expectations and routine for mornings. Consistency is very important. Your child needs to know when she wakes up for school she will be well-rested, have time to eat a good breakfast and even have time to talk with you about her upcoming day.

Here are 6 things to do to help your young school-aged child find success.

1. Go to bed earlier

School is early. It stinks, but it is a fact. Young children need a lot of sleep. They can get by without a nap in the afternoon at this age, but they cannot get by on inadequate sleep, especially when they are required to sit for as long as they are at school. You don't want your child's desk at school to be where she catches up on her Zzzzzzs. Also, I can barely do math when I am well-rested; I don't have a prayer if I am sleepy.

2. Don't yell

Listen - waking up in the morning is the last thing on earth anyone wants to do, and kids are no exception. No one likes to be woken up. The only thing that gets me out of bed each morning is having something to look forward to that day. It can be the simplest things: a good breakfast, a good book to read, etc. Parents can be what children look forward to seeing each morning. Pull the curtains back, turn on the lights and wake up your child in person with a smile (as opposed to the alternative of yelling through the bedroom door).

3. Prepare the night before

We have a mudroom next to the garage, and we make sure backpacks and coats are packed and ready for the next morning and hanging in the mudroom the night before. We also have a hamper with clean clothes and socks for the next day and a basket of shoes as well. Have everything your child will need for school easily accessible or laid out the night before.

4. Help your child

Yelling, "Hurry! Hurry!" every few minutes will leave you both frustrated and likely ... late. This also sends a young child to school feeling anxious, rushed and possibly ashamed, especially if you say things like, "You are so slow!" or, "You made me late!"

Instead, help her with everything: from laying out her clothing to helping her rinse out hair conditioner. You aren't doing it for her; you are helping her to do things quickly that normally take her longer due to her age. Also, while you help her, talk to her about the positive things that will happen that day. Work together; it makes a big difference. Give her a high five when she does things quickly on her own.

5. Keep spares

Keep spare toothbrushes and toothpaste in the kitchen.We have a round Tupperware container containing a toothbrush for each child and some toothpaste. It's stored in the spice cabinet. When mornings are rushed, I can allow my child extra time to finish her breakfast because she doesn't have to leave the kitchen to brush her teeth. It also makes bedtime routines go smoother to have toothpaste and a toothbrush handy where we all hang out.

6. Make time for devotion

Whatever your morning routine, make time somehow for devotion. We pray over breakfast. We pray before heading out the door to face the day. If there is time, we read a few scriptures. Also, say "I love you" often in the morning. Before my husband leaves for work, my children run toward him and say, "Hugs, kisses! Hugs, kisses!" They know he won't head out the door before he gets a hug and a kiss.

Additionally, I like to turn on beautiful music in the morning. Just the simple act of putting some bread in the toaster and taking the time to sit down to eat in the morning can make waking up not so bad. If you wake up and you are not ill, hungry or cold, it is a good morning indeed. Remember to say it to those around you, "Good morning!"

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Sleep training for real moms – and real babies https://www.familytoday.com/family/sleep-training-for-real-moms-and-real-babies/ Thu, 17 Mar 2016 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/sleep-training-for-real-moms-and-real-babies/ The following tips may not be for every baby. But, as a parent of 4, they sure have helped me.…

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When I had my first baby, I was lying awake in my hospital bed with her cradled next to me. It was the middle of the night. I felt overwhelmed with this new situation. Sure, I had prepared for it for the last nine months or so, but when she was born, I suddenly felt completely overwhelmed and I cried ugly tears - many of them.

Breastfeeding was difficult for me, and it seemed like nothing was going according to my plans. But more than that, I never could have imagined how exhausting caring for a newborn would be. As I looked at her wide awake in her cradle when all I wanted to do was sleep soundly, I began to cry. A wise nurse said to me, "Now mama, this isn't going to go perfectly so just get that idea out of your head."

Now my baby is grown and waking her up for school in the morning is like trying to teach a rhinoceros ballet. I've had three more babies since her, and I've learned a thing or two about sleep training a baby.

I wish I would have listened to my baby more and worried about the charts and milestones much less. Let your pediatrician worry about all of that - that's her job. Your job is to listen to your baby. The most important thing to your infant is food and feeling secure. And your baby will let you know loud and clear when one of these is not being met to her satisfaction.

Here are some more things I wished I would have known with a newborn:

1. Get your baby on a schedule

Even if your baby's schedule is all over the place, stick to it. A ridiculous schedule is better long-term than no schedule.

When our twins were born at 36 weeks, I remember trying to sleep in the same room with them, and it was impossible. They made so much fuss and noise they sounded like two hungry goats! Our nurses were fantastic. They told us, "stick to a schedule."

We charted their schedule for about three weeks on a white board that we set in the kitchen. This helped us predict what time they would want to eat. Even if you think it isn't important, write down when they eat anyway.

Include in the schedule: bath time, tummy time, singing time, etc. Your baby wants to play with you. She wants to hear your voice and feel your touch. The more interaction she has with you when she is awake, the happier she'll be to fall asleep. Remember, it's all about food and feeling secure. She feels secure when she is with you. Tire her out with your company.

2. Let your baby learn how to self-soothe

When the twins would wake, we would change them, talk and sing to them, play by doing tummy time, swaddle them and feed them. By the time we did all this, they'd be ready to fall asleep again. We would burp them and make sure their food had settled and then, rather than rock them to sleep, we'd just place them in their bed with a pacifier and let them fall asleep on their own. Our twins took a pacifier, but as they got older and no longer wanted the pacifier, they'd gently rock back and forth in bed until they fell asleep. If they cried, we'd burp them again and lie them back down again.

We wouldn't give them more milk. We wouldn't take them out and play with them some more. Even as tiny infants, when it was time to sleep, it was time to sleep. We didn't put them in a dark room or turn on a noise machine. We let them get used to sleeping with whatever was going on around them. As they got older, we moved them into a bedroom and now as toddlers, we do use a noise machine to help keep the sound consistent because there are two babies trying to sleep in the same room.

3. Be the boss

You have your entire life for your child to usurp your authority as the boss of their own life and so when it comes to sleep training, you are the boss. Your child's sleep training will have a direct impact on your overall health and well-being and so both your lives depend on its success (no pressure).

I don't like to use the words, "cry it out" because to me, it implies that the parent is abandoning the baby to just lie there and sob. That isn't the case with being the boss; instead, being the boss means you let your baby "work it out."

If you have met your baby's needs and placed her in her bed safely to sleep, and the only thing left to do is for her to sleep, it is all right to have her work it out on her own for a while. You will find that babies who need sleep are sometimes the crankiest. It is not pleasant for a parent to listen to her baby cry, and that is why having a written schedule is so helpful - it is written proof that you have met your baby's needs and that what she needs is time to self-soothe and fall asleep. Plan on doing something during this time that puts you within earshot of your baby but keeps you occupied while your baby sleep trains.

And if you need to cry, go ahead and cry. It doesn't mean you are failing as a mother or that you don't love being a mother. It's natural to cry along with your baby. Its part of that beautiful empathy we parents get to feel for our children. Cry it out - both of you.

4. Talk to your pediatrician about any issues

Keep notes about your baby between visits with your pediatrician and share them with your doctor. You are your child's advocate and so listen to the thoughts and feelings you have about your child. If you feel like your child is fussier than usual, or you have any questions at all about how things are going, speak up! Insist that your voice is heard. This is one of the best services you can do for your child and yourself as her parent.

5. It won't last

It's likely already been said to you a number of times, but I will say it again: this is just a phase. Remember my baby is grown now and waking her up to go to school is like trying to teach a rhinoceros how to dance ballet. Enjoy every moment - even the ones filled with sleep deprived back aches and tears. It won't last. And it will be worth every difficult, beautiful, joyous moment. Here's to a good nights' sleep, mama.

This article was originally published on Northwest Mom Magazine. It has been republished here with permission.

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How to host Thanksgiving dinner stress-free https://www.familytoday.com/family/how-to-host-thanksgiving-dinner-stress-free/ Thu, 19 Nov 2015 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/how-to-host-thanksgiving-dinner-stress-free/ Read 5 simple steps of what to do now to prepare for the big Thanksgiving dinner. (Including my favorite tip…

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If you are like me, you are probably expecting a houseful on Thanksgiving Day. While I love and appreciate taking a special day to remember our blessings and hold a family prayer of gratitude, Thanksgiving puts hostesses in high gear and sometimes, it is too much stress and I end up wanting to eat every pie.

So rather than procrastinate until the day before, here are some simple steps you can do now to prepare for the big event.

1. Start Cleaning

Use all that pre-hosting Thanksgiving excitement/anxiety to your advantage and get your deep cleaning done the week before, including these tasks:

  • Start and put away an extra load of laundry every day between now and Thanksgiving.

  • Deep clean all the bathrooms (you can always touch up the guest bathroom the morning of)

  • Find several cardboard boxes and fill them with toys, books and other gently used items you don't need any more and store them out of the way. You'll love having these items ready to donate to holiday goodwill programs as well as having a decluttered home for your Thanksgiving.

  • Sweep and decorate your front porch to receive your guests. A clean porch and a simple wreath on the door, welcome mat and/or stockpile of fall pumpkins can really brighten the entry to your home.

2. Plan Your Thanksgiving Meal and Include Your Guests

You cannot do it all alone. Well, you can but why would you want to?

Typically, if you are hosting Thanksgiving, you'll want to be the one to cook the turkey and the trimmings that go along with it. You don't want to ask your grandmother to try and transport a hot turkey, including all the juices to your home for Thanksgiving. Do the turkey and delegate the rest.

Your guests expect to bring something to Thanksgiving, but do not know what you need and so communicating with each guest and having them bring one thing can really help out.

Here is a list of things that are easy to transport that your guests can bring for Thanksgiving dinner:

  • Rolls

  • Sides like green beans or salads

  • Yams or sweet potatoes

  • Dressings for salads and cranberry sauce

  • Drinks

  • Pies or other desserts

  • Also include your guests in planning activities such as games for the adults and coloring/crafts for the kids. You'll have your hands full cooking turkey and setting the table (not to mention cleaning up afterward), so delegate the entertainment.

If your guests feel included, it will make the day even more memorable for them. Just make sure you ask someone who is comfortable being in front of the group.

3. Shop the Week Before

There are some things that you'll want to run to the store for last minute. But you don't need to be standing in a long grocery line with a full, heavy cart and a bunch of curmudgeon people anxious to get out of there the day before or even on Thanksgiving Day. Nothing will make you feel less gratitude than a bunch of frowny faces in the check-out line or embittered grocery store workers!

Make your list and get your shopping done now. Just remember, it can take up to 3 days for a frozen turkey to thaw in the fridge so read the directions and plan accordingly.

Some of the things you may want to pick up now include:

  • Turkey, if you are purchasing frozen (I like to purchase a fresh, young turkey so I get mine at the last minute but frozen is fine as long as you allow time for it to thaw. Frozen is often cheaper for a bigger turkey.).

  • Any paper goods you may need for your Thanksgiving table including your decorations.

  • Cold medicine - it may sound unconventional, but just plan on someone in your family (hopefully not the hostess) getting sick right before you are ready to host Thanksgiving. Stock up on your medicine in advance so you'll have it.

  • Any other grocery items that can be stored in the pantry.

  • Also make sure your house is well stocked with toilet paper, paper towels, hand soap for the guest bathroom, etc.

4. Get All Decorations Ready

Chances are husbands and children who have the day off from school and work are not going to relate or understand why mom is so worked up and frazzled about hosting Thanksgiving. They'll probably plop down on the sofa with their feet up just as you want to vacuum the family room. Make sure you give yourself extra time for last minute cleaning and getting yourself and your family ready the morning of Thanksgiving.

My favorite hosting tip is to get a big box and fill it with everything you will need for the table setting and decorations (except dishes of course, unless paper plates). Some of the things you may want to include in your box are:

  • The tablecloth already ironed (if fabric).

When you put it in the box, fold it in half lengthwise and roll it so it won't crease. You can always touch up the middle crease but having the tablecloth ready to go will save you a lot of time on Thanksgiving.

  • Any paper goods if using them: plates, napkins, utensils, name cards ,etc.

  • Any items for your centerpiece that aren't fresh flowers such as pinecones, vases, autumn leaves, wood and candles, etc. Whatever you are using for decorations that can be stored in your hosting box, you should gather and place it in there now.

  • Guest favors if using you are providing them or something for young children like candy or Thanksgiving themed coloring pages or small toys.

  • I like to throw in there a tin of breath mints to set out if I am serving food.

5. The Night Before and Morning of Thanksgiving

After my children go to bed the night before I'm hosting an event, that is when I do all of the cleaning and decorating of the table. That way, I can wake up in the morning, get ready and go to work in the kitchen. I can always touch up on the cleaning but having the majority of it done, really helps out.

Also, having a designated children's entertainer, a.k.a., my husband, take the children out of the house to play outside or go to the mall playground is a life-saver. Just having them with an outlet to get some of their energy out without destroying all the work I've put into hosting, is very helpful for an hour or two. Sometimes I even send them to breakfast or outside with sack lunches so they aren't adding piles of dishes to the kitchen sink.

Have a movie planned when they return and some popcorn so they'll want to lounge and stay out of the kitchen while you finish up.

Lastly, enjoy hosting Thanksgiving. This is a rare opportunity to create a special memory for your loved ones and it is an honor to host.

Here are my suggestions for making Thanksgiving pleasant for everyone.

  • Designate someone in the household to stand watch at the door and answer and greet each guest.

  • Have a place for coats, purses, shoes, etc. that is obvious to guests and is out of the way so no one will bother their personal belongings.

  • If they are coming to your home for the first time, while welcoming them just point out, "the bathroom is over there if you should need it."

  • Make sure you have enough seating and designate a comfortable spot for elderly guests and keep that spot open for them.

  • When in doubt, just keep smiling. This is something that is not natural for me because I have inherited a "thinking face." It doesn't mean I'm unhappy, but smiling is not something I first think of to do and so when I'm hosting, I have to continually remind myself to smile.

  • Have fun and don't forget to eat a slice of pie!

What is my favorite Thanksgiving hosting tip? It is for your guest who cannot think of anything to say except negative political commentary at Thanksgiving dinner.

Give him or her a BIG job to do such as carving the turkey (maybe some of all that negative aggression can be taken out on Tom Turkey), or making sure the drinks are well stocked. You could even assign that relative to clear the tables and do the dishes to ready the tables for desserts. Or, have them slice up all the pies and serve the ice cream. Just give that person a very important job and praise their hard work in helping out. wink

This article was originally published on my blog. It has been republished here with permission.

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5 ways to raise grateful children https://www.familytoday.com/family/5-ways-to-raise-grateful-children/ Mon, 09 Nov 2015 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/5-ways-to-raise-grateful-children/ Follow these tips to help teach your child how to give thanks.

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Our children are being raised in a techno-savvy world of instant gratification and convenience. The opportunities for them to practice polite manners are less often than in times past. But learning to show respect by asking for what we want politely, and expressing thanks when it is given, is a necessary part of preparing our children to enter society. Here are several ways to teach young children how to express thanks:

Realize that giving thanks must be voluntary

This sounds contradictory, but the benefit of giving thanks is primarily for the one giving thanks, not the one receiving it. When we give, we should give voluntarily and freely with no strings attached. Even though expressing thanks shows good manners, if we give with the expectation of receiving thanks or a returned favor, then we have missed the point of giving.

The art of giving and receiving is a learned behavior that we practice over time. Children are no different. We should invite our children to give thanks consistently, but not demand that they say "Thank you" every time we give them something. They might say it under their breath, but the sincerity will not be there, which defeats the entire point of giving thanks.

Understand that children learn respect by example

It is amazing how far a little patience and respect goes with a young child. My young son loves to climb up onto the kitchen counter and play in the sink. The end result of his playing is water splashed all over the counters and floor. I do not like him to be up near the kitchen sink, the disposal and other kitchen items. My initial reaction is to clench my teeth and say through them, "Get down and out of the sink!" It seems like we have to go through this scenario every morning.

I have learned that when I get impatient with my son, he is more impatient with his siblings. I have even seen him clench his teeth and say in the same exasperated tone to our 20-month-old, "Don't take my toy, babe!" I can do better to show my son how to ask politely and how to say "Thank you." I have learned to ignore the impulse to get impatient and to instead say, "Please get down off the counter and out of the sink, and thank you."

Show them by saying "Thank you" often

The simplest way to teach children to give thanks is to do it yourself. When a child brings you a fall leaf off the ground, be animated about it and say, "Oh thank you! What a beautiful fall leaf." Talk about the colors and demonstrate how to appreciate the simple, yet thoughtful gift. Remember, they chose to give what little they could find to you.

At meal times, offer a prayer of thanks for the meal and/or thank the person who prepared it or bought the groceries. Set the table and give children an opportunity to practice. Tell them, "When we ask for a roll, we say, 'Please pass the roll,' and then we say, 'Thank you' when we are given the roll." It is easy to show children how and when to give thanks by incorporating it into your daily routine.

Remind children and reinforce when they demonstrate politeness

You really cannot over-praise good behavior in a young child. Build praise and positive reinforcement into your daily routine. I make it a point to praise my daughter when we are between activities. For example, when she first gets home from school, before I even ask her about her day, I like to remind her of something positive she did in the morning before she left for the day; "Thank you for being so nice to your brother at breakfast this morning."

This positive reinforcement is a great conversation opener and sets the tone for the rest of our afternoon because it reminds my child what behavior I like to see, and also reminds her that she is capable of being respectful and kind.

Show your children how to keep a gratitude journal

Children are naturally great artists. They love to express themselves with pictures. I like to keep a binder full of all my daughter's creative drawings. One of the ways you can use their creativity to help them learn to give thanks is to invite them to draw a picture of the things that make them happy.

Tell your child, "I am so glad these things make you happy. How would you feel if you didn't have these things?" This conversation should be kept light, not dwelling on the "what ifs," but providing children with an opportunity to imagine their life without some of the things that bring them the greatest happiness. Show them how to collect their pictures and keep them in their own "Gratitude Journal." Explain that the word "gratitude" means appreciating and saying "Thank you" for the things we have that make us happy.

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How to get rid of these 10 Smelliest Offenders in Your Home https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/how-to-get-rid-of-these-10-smelliest-offenders-in-your-home/ Fri, 06 Nov 2015 16:26:57 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/how-to-get-rid-of-these-10-smelliest-offenders-in-your-home/ Here I put your sense of smell to the test: how many of these items are cleaned and refreshed daily…

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We all want to smell good. Entire industries are based on manufacturing products that will make our hair smell good, our bodies smell good and even our clothes. But how good does your home smell?

Here I put your sense of smell to the test: how many of these items are cleaned and refreshed daily (as needed) or at least every week?

Here are the ten smelliest offenders in your home:

1. Pets and babies

Pets and babies are my number one smelliest offenders. You'll want to keep that diaper pail and litter box in check twice a week. And have some sort of pet hair removing device or method that you see to every day.

Babies can take a clean sofa and turn it into a smelly sponge in no time flat, so be sure to wipe down any furniture where your baby eats and spits up. And keep those burp cloths, bibs and blankies laundered.

2. Microwave and oven

The microwave and oven are my number two smelliest offenders. Think of the microwave as an offender of the worst kind when it comes to smelling up your home. Every time you use the microwave, it is like turning a fan on next to food that has been sitting out for days and blowing the smell throughout the entire house.

Use a paper towel or small cloth to cover your food every single time you use the microwave. Especially if you have a self-cleaning oven, there is no excuse to leave your oven full of burnt food drippings. If you have no intention of wiping it out, turn on the self-cleaner once a week before bed (unless your oven is rarely used, like mine-too busy cleaning to bother with cooking).

3. Kitchen sink and disposal

The kitchen sink and disposal are my number three smelliest offenders. We do our dishes and rinse out the sink and consider it clean. It looks clean; therefore it is clean, right? Nothing could be more wrong!

The kitchen sink and disposal is a cesspool of festering germs and it smells like one, too. Every week, scrub it down with some Soft Scrub or gel bleach and run the disposal under hot water for a few minutes. It takes less than five minutes, and it will make your kitchen smell like it just had a deep clean.

4. Garbage

The kitchen garbage as well as the bathroom garbage are my number four smelliest offenders. Empty the kitchen garbage can every single day. Whatever is in there, it's making your kitchen smelly.

The bathroom garbages are tricky because they don't fill up as quickly, so we assume they don't need to be emptied. But they introduce some of the WORST smelliest offenders. I suggest emptying all the bathroom garbages into the kitchen garbage, so it will be taken out that day, at least one or two times per week.

5. Bathrooms

The shower, bathtub, bathrooms sinks and toilets are my number five smelliest offenders. These are like the kitchen sink, just because they appear clean, does not mean they are clean.

The shower floor is probably the grimiest place in your home. A little Soft Scrub or gel bleach will do wonders for it and same goes for the tub and sinks.

One of my favorite tricks to keeping the toilet less smelly is opening the tank and putting a Clorox bleach tablet inside. Every time you flush, it will smell like it was just cleaned. And it is so easy to do!

6. Dirty laundry

The dirty laundry is my number six smelliest offender. Don't even mess with wet towels. Wet towels are some of the worst offenders.

Keep towels hung separately with enough room to breathe and dry completely. And never throw a wet towel onto a pile of dirty laundry. If you must, drape it over the top of the laundry hamper, so it doesn't absorb all the smell from the laundry and act like a smelly diffuser in your laundry room.

Keep laundry moving through the washer, dryer and hampers. And if you do leave laundry in the washer, by all means re-wash it and don't worry about it. For Heaven's sake, we all do that and it is not skin off your washer's back to run it again.

If, however, you are running it for the fourth and fifth time, you may be in denial of the fact that eventually, you will need to put some laundry away.

7. Bedding

Bedding that hasn't been washed recently is my number seven smelliest offender. Sheets that are very slightly damp with sweat and covered in sloughed off skin and hair"¦ sounds gross, huh?

Just take my word for it and wash your bedding. Having a second set of sheets for each bed will really help this process, so you can change the sheets and make the bed then and there and get to washing the dirty bedding later.

8. Shoes

Third place from my last smelliest offender is the shoes accumulated throughout the home. Shoes need to be kept in a shoe basket near the entrance of the home or in the closets in a shoe caddy.

Shoes should never go on top on the couches, bed or, heaven forbid, the kitchen table. Train your kids to put their shoes away beginning at a very early age. I don't know what to tell you about your husband or wife who comes home from work and kicks off his or her shoes and thinks they magically get put away. Shoes are dirty. They are necessary but dirty. Keep them in their rightful place.

9. Floors

Second to last place on my list of smelliest offenders is the floors. If you have wood floors, sweep them every day. And vacuum carpets and shake out rugs every day. Floors are the celestial kingdom for germs and smells.

My favorite cleaning tool is my Bissell Steam Mop, and I use it frequently to freshen up my kitchen floor. Have young children at home? Chances are there's more food on the kitchen floor than ended up in their little tummies. Make best friends with your broom and your mop.

10. Windows

The windows, or I should say how often they are kept closed, is my last smelliest offender in the home. One of the easiest ways to get your home smelling nicer is opening all the windows while you get your cleaning done. Make it a habit.

At least open a window to the main family room where everyone congregates with their coats, shoes and backpacks. Open the bedroom windows while you're changing the sheets. I love to open the windows and let the fresh air in.

This article was originally published on Alicia Walters Blog and has been republished here with permission.

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5 ways to keep children happy in public places https://www.familytoday.com/family/5-ways-to-keep-children-happy-in-public-places/ Fri, 06 Nov 2015 16:23:09 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/5-ways-to-keep-children-happy-in-public-places/ Parenting is hard enough without all the stares from people you get when your child decides to have a tantrum…

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Parents have an enormous amount of responsibility on their shoulders in providing for and nurturing their children. Children need to learn how to behave when out in public and this takes practice.

The natural response for a child in a new situation or environment is to want to explore every inch of it. So, when parents buckle them into a shopping cart or restaurant booster chair, things can go downhill very fast.

Here are five tips to help parents keep their children happy in public places and how to utilize a parent's most important accessory: the diaper bag.

1. When in Doubt, Walk it Out

Have a designated walker.

When you sit down at a restaurant, the last thing you should do is buckle your toddler in her seat for the long wait. Have the designated walker take the child and show her around the restaurant. Take her into the bathroom and wash her hands to get ready to eat. Show her some of the décor, the atmosphere, etc.

One of the worst things you can do for a child's sensory system is take her into a new place and strap her down without showing her around first. Imagine how that would feel to a little person: it would drive her curiosity crazy or even scare her.

Most restaurants have a nice restroom and have scenery to look at; show her what this place is all about and use this time to tell her, "In a few minutes, we get to sit down and eat."

2. It's Not a Diaper Bag

If you think that you and your children can get by in a restaurant with only a few diapers and a package of wipes to entertain them, you should be awarded the medal for "Most Optimistic."

Don't rely on the restaurant to take care of business. We all know that the 3 crayons end up on the floor and the cardboard container they came in gets eaten. Don't think of it as a diaper bag, think of it as a Child Survival Kit (CSK).

Start thinking like a travel-by-umbrella nanny; as my sister Tiffany says, "You need a carpet bag full of tricks." Parents need to pack their Child Survival Kits with all the essentials their child may need: a sippy cup, a snack, diapers, wipes, chapstick, tissues, several means of entertainment, and never forget the headache medicine.

3. Be a Live Wire

Never underestimate the power of the new in the curious eyes of a child.

Craft pipe cleaner is quiet and can be molded into anything on the fly for a little distraction while waiting at a restaurant. Wind the pipe cleaner around a butter knife to make it into a spiral. Or take 2-3 different colors of pipe cleaner and twist them to make a bracelet.

Your facial expressions and tone will be the key: convince your toddler that craft pipe cleaner, or whatever you have on hand, is the answer to life's questions and the means of deliverance from boredom while trapped in a restaurant bucket seat.

4. Press On!

Another thing to include in your CSK is stickers - by the hundreds. Also include several plastic spoons in your CSK and put a different animal sticker on the back of the spoon and voila! You have a miniature puppet show at the restaurant table.

Magnet books are also a CSK essential. Many of them have adorable themes including: trains, planes, ballerinas and pirates. These are great toys to have in a restaurant but also at church or on an airplane because they are quiet, and the magnets stick easily and don't fall onto the floor.

5. Don't be a Sucker

If there's one thing being a mother has taught me, it is the gospel truth that a toddler cannot wail and suck on a sucker at the same time. Make sure you have an entire bag of suckers in your CSK. I know for a fact that no child will turn down a sucker ever.

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How to get whiter teeth on a family budget https://www.familytoday.com/family/how-to-get-whiter-teeth-on-a-family-budget/ Mon, 02 Nov 2015 09:00:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/how-to-get-whiter-teeth-on-a-family-budget/ Here are some inexpensive things you can do from home.

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Everyone's teeth start to yellow over time. But is it really necessary to spend a few hundred dollars on professional whitening treatments? Here are some things you can do from home, that are inexpensive and affordable within a family budget; and, bonus — will help your children learn good oral hygiene as well.

Start with a deep clean

How many times are you rushing to brush your teeth? Skipping the flossing? If you want whiter teeth, start with a deep clean. Floss with Oral-B Glide Pro-Health Original Floss. This floss is great! It glides easily between teeth, but it's thick enough to grab onto guck stuck between them. Floss every single day and after a particularly messy meal. Don't leave guck between your teeth whenever you can avoid it. Avoid floss that is flavored or scented, as it contains chemicals that can be harsh on mouth tissue and even drying for lips.

Rinse your mouth

Use Hydrogen Peroxide 3 Percent Oral Debriding Agent (not for children unless recommended by a dentist). Follow the directions on the bottle, diluting it with water. This isn't for everyday use. I only use this once every three months. But this solution really loosens built-up guck inside your mouth. If you suffer from seasonal allergies or post-nasal drip, you may even want to use a tongue brush after rinsing with hydrogen peroxide. I like the Tongue Sweeper Steel Tongue Cleaner. For children, add a small pinch of baking soda to their toothpaste for a little extra whitening.

Get a good toothbrush

I like the Oral-B Pro-Health Precision Clean Toothbrush or the Philips Sonicare Essence Toothbrush. You don't have to spend $100 to get a decent toothbrush. The most important thing is that you replace the batteries (if not rechargeable) and the bristles on your toothbrush every three months so you have a new-like brush. Angle the brush 45 degrees toward your gums and spend a full two minutes brushing your teeth in circular motions. Don't press hard on your teeth. Soft, circular strokes are what you want to go for.

My favorite toothpaste is Aquafresh Extreme Clean with Micro-Active Foaming Action. A little goes a long way. My teeth feel cleaner after using this toothpaste than with any others. It helps restore the natural whiteness of your teeth.

After brushing, use a non-drying mouthwash

This is very important. Drying mouthwashes are not your friend. When your mouth is dry, it doesn't have the saliva to break down cavity-forming bacteria. My favorite non-drying mouthwash is Crest Pro-Health CPC Antigingivitis/Antiplaque Oral Rinse. It doesn't have any burn to it, smells fresh and is gentle on your mouth.

Consistency is key. When you floss and brush your teeth, invite your children to do it along with you. As they watch you pratice good oral hygiene, they will want to do the same.

This article was originally published on Alicia Walters' blog. It has been republished here with permission.

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6 tips to make moving day seamless with kids https://www.familytoday.com/family/6-tips-to-make-moving-day-seamless-with-kids/ Fri, 30 Oct 2015 06:30:01 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/6-tips-to-make-moving-day-seamless-with-kids/ Moving is hard for everyone, but it is especially challenging for families with young children as children rely on stability…

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Moving is hard for everyone, but it is especially challenging for families with young children as children rely on stability in their routine for their comfort and well-being.

Often times, working parents leave their spouse at home with the children and also the packing. That can be a logistical conundrum as children panic at the sight of their belongings being thrown into packing boxes.

Here are six strategies to help families with young children during their move:

1. Don't start moving on moving day

Procrastinating moving until the truck pulls up to the driveway is one of the surest ways to make moving a living nightmare. Start moving months and weeks before you actually have to move.

Think of your home in zones, i.e., Zone 1: Kitchen, Zone 2: Family Room, etc. Also, every day, try to fill a garbage can with trash from each zone.

Then, declutter as you go. If you are putting clean dishes in the cupboard and you notice a bunch of old Tupperware you no longer need, by all means get rid of it then and there. Why wait? You'd be amazed at how much work a little extra effort here and there while you are already doing household tasks adds up to.

2. Don't get side tracked with a yard sale

Hold on to anything that could be of use to someone else, but don't bother with the effort of setting up and tearing down a yard sale unless you have a really big ticket item (and usually, those go pretty fast with a quick post on Facebook). Yard sales are so much work and in the end, you might still be stuck with all your junk to move.

Instead, save your valuable time and hassle on moving your stuff and donate your used items to Goodwill. Goodwill.org has posted under "Taxes and Your Donations" a "Valuation Guide for Goodwill Donors." Save your receipt after you donate to Goodwill, and use it as a tax write off (up to $500 annually).

3. Don't use your kitchen the week of your move

For families, the kitchen and the garage are likely going to be the most complicated to pack and move.

Buy some paper goods such as disposable plates, cups and utensils, and consider your kitchen closed the week of your move. You should not be bothered with doing dishes or making complicated meals prior to moving.

Also, this isn't a good time to start a new diet; get a family pack of frozen burritos and call it good.

When possible, tour your new kitchen and make notes of where everything is going to go so you are ready with a plan. Move into your new kitchen first; if your kitchen is moved in and your beds are set up, you're halfway moved.

4. Do arrange child care in advance

It is so much work trying to pack and care for young children at the same time.

Ask for volunteers to have your kids play at their house for a few hours if you have people who are willing. Let family, friends, and neighbors know well in advance the days and times you have set aside for packing for your big move.

A former colleague of mine, Frank Stevens said, "We recently helped some friends move by watching their kids for several hours because any attempt to pack the contents of their four year old's room would have precipitated a nuclear event."

When we moved into our first home, I had four children ages six and under, and it was during the summer. I didn't have a lot of money to spare, so I asked volunteers to help watch my two older kids and when no one was available, I paid a babysitter for a few hours each day for two weeks during my younger twins' naptime.

Just having someone to watch the kids can make an enormous difference while you pack for your move. Plus, hiring a babysitter is a lot cheaper than hiring movers.

5. Do have everything ready when family and/or members of your church group show up to help

It is wonderful that you have people willing to help move your furniture and heavy boxes into the truck! Plan to have everything packed and ready so that when volunteers show up to help, they aren't tripping through all of your stuff to get to the couch.

Boxes should be clearly labeled as to which room, or "zone," they need to be moved. Also be sure to have a clear pathway for movers to move a heavy piece of furniture.

If you have a particularly cumbersome item to move such as a grand piano, you should probably hire professionals for at least that item. Having your neighbors try to move something like that could present a possible injury for them and a liability for you.

And always provide drinks and snacks for those helping. Make it simple: bottled water and donuts. They'll appreciate having clean water to drink and a little thanks goes a long way.

6. It's okay to cry

Young children may feel insecure about moving. It will be even more difficult for them if they aren't allowed to express their feelings. Telling them, "It's okay to cry," and wrapping them up in a big hug will help them feel reassured that even if some things are changing, your love for them remains unchanged.

Same goes for you and your spouse. Moving is exhausting physically and mentally. There's a mixture of excitement for the new home as well as nostalgia for the old one.

During your move, plan to talk a little softer to one another and try to cut everyone just a little more slack. Make an extra effort to thank one another for their hard work and effort in moving. Or, when all else fails, make a pit stop for a Blizzard.

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Dear Grandparent, you are irreplaceable https://www.familytoday.com/family/dear-grandparent-you-are-irreplaceable/ Thu, 22 Oct 2015 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/dear-grandparent-you-are-irreplaceable/ 5 ways grandparents give confidence and a sense of belonging to their grandchildren.

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You've raised your own children and have retired from your career. You are just starting to feel like you finally have time for things you have been putting off for this next chapter of your life. But do you know how important you are to your children and grandchildren now?

Here are five reasons why grandparents are some of the most valuable people around:

Your grandchild has a special place in your heart

My children's grandma recently came for a visit. They know that grandma is a VIP in our house and were very excited anticipating her arrival. We even made special arrangements to take the children out of school, so they could pick up grandma from the airport.

Having their grandma around for a few days was refreshing for them and for me. My children were able to show and tell all their new tricks and interests, i.e., things they have learned.

One of the greatest gifts a grandparent can give to their grandchildren is letting them know they have a special place in your heart. True, the child feels love and a sense of belonging from their parents, but that extra layer of belonging to someone outside of their parents will only increase their confidence and sense of self.

Grandparents give children an opportunity to share

Another gift that grandparents can give their children is an opportunity to share. There is a saying that goes, "if a child gives you a rock, kindly accept the gift because it is most likely the best the child has to offer."

My children love to draw pictures to give to their grandma or show her their toy dinosaurs. It is the best they have to offer and no one knows how to accept gifts from children better than their own grandparent.

When my mom comes to stay, she stays in my daughter's bedroom. My daughter is so proud that her grandma gets to sleep in her room. Prior to grandma visiting, my children have a few extra chores to get the house clean and ready for our special guest.

When grandparents visit, they give their grandchildren an opportunity to serve and to share with someone who is trustworthy and deserving of it. It can be a great learning moment for children.

Grandparents cannot spoil their grandchildren enough

With parenting, there is an obligation to teach your children the value of hard work, earning their own money, and spending it wisely. Grandparents can forget about all of that!

Grandparents cannot spoil their grandchildren enough. Parents today are often on a tight budget with both parents working in some capacity to pay the bills. Grandparents can be an enormous help to supply grandchildren with needed clothes, books, new toys and even occasional treats. And don't forget those hand-made gifts from the heart: homemade quilts and blankets are some of the most treasured gifts at our house.

However, don't forget that nothing you can buy or make can compensate for how valuable your time with your grandchild truly is.

Grandchildren need to sit on your lap and hear you read them a beautiful story. When my mom came to visit last, my daughter asked, "Can we have grandma read to us tonight? She has the most beautiful voice in the whole world!"

Grandparents can build self-esteem

When a child knows that he is part of a greater family unit, there is an increased sense of belonging as well as accountability to those he loves.

If every child had parents and a grandparent that made them truly feel loved and accepted, this world would have a dramatic increase in happy children who feel loved and accepted.

Grandparents increase family unity

Grandparents play a critical role in achieving a sense of belonging in children as they plan and organize family dinners, carry out long-held family traditions, and even plan for family reunions and vacations.

My dad has said that while getting his seven children and seventeen grandchildren all together on vacation can be costly and a lot of logistical planning, he cannot imagine spending his time or money more wisely, as this builds and maintains family unity.

These family memories are what grandchildren will take with them into their adult life, and when difficulties come up, their sense of belonging and the love they share with their grandparents will give them extra courage to carry them through difficult times.

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