Kitt Wakeley – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com Here today, better tomorrow. Fri, 17 May 2019 20:41:32 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.3 https://wp-media.familytoday.com/2020/03/favicon.ico Kitt Wakeley – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com 32 32 The 7 crossroads every man wants you to cross before he seriously decides to love you https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/the-7-crossroads-every-man-wants-you-to-cross-before-he-seriously-decides-to-love-you/ Mon, 08 Jan 2018 09:34:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/the-7-crossroads-every-man-wants-you-to-cross-before-he-seriously-decides-to-love-you/ Overcome these seven things and see your relationship flourish.

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Falling in love can be scary, especially for men. After all, they're constantly being told that showing their emotions is a sign of weakness. Who could blame them for being a bit skittish when it comes to love?

And while very few men have checklists in front of them when they get into a new relationship (and tend to not evaluate their feelings the way women do), they are paying attention. Whether it's consciously, or unconsciously, they are looking for signs that you might be the one.

Here are seven key crossroads your man is looking for before he gives in and falls in love with you.

1. Independence

Men want a woman who is a complete person without them. If you cling to him, are reluctant when he wants to go out with his buddies or seem incapable of functioning without him, he'll most likely pull away.

By contrast, if you continue to live your life (and let him live his), he'll be one step closer to loving you.

2. Communication

When you communicate with your man, are you direct or do you play games?

Men appreciate clear communication. They don't want to have to guess what you're thinking or feeling. Instead of expecting him to read between the lines, be straightforward. He'll be grateful that he doesn't have to engage in mental gymnastics or overcome a series to passive-aggressive traps to please you.

3. Confidence

Men like to give compliments to the woman they love. Can you accept them graciously, or are you on the self-deprecation train?

A woman who is confident in herself can accept a compliment without deflecting it or being negative. She doesn't need to protest or put herself down.

If you deflect compliments, it tells him that he's going to have to prop up your ego all the time. If you accept them, he knows that you believe in yourself.

4. Kindness

It's one thing to be sweet to the guy you're with, but how do you treat other people? Trust me, your mister notices the way you speak to your friends, coworkers and parents. He also pays attention to what you say and how you act around cab drivers and waiters.

A woman who respects everybody and treats others with kindness and compassion is someone a man wants to share his life with. If you're rude and condescending to others, you'll leave him wondering when you'll start treating him that way - and he won't stick around to find out!

5. Disagreement

You can't really know what your long-term prospects are with someone until you've disagreed about something. In fact, the way you disagree can make or break your relationship.

No man wants to be involved with a woman who resorts to petty name-calling during a disagreement. If you bring up past grievances or start shrieking at the drop of the hat, there's a good chance he'll head for the hills.

But, if you can talk calmly about your disagreements and work through them like an adult, you'll have cleared a major hurdle on the road to lasting love.

6. Flexibility

If you're thinking about spending your life with someone, you want to know that they're going to be able to handle life's twists and turns. When a man is considering getting serious about a woman, he'll pay attention to see how she handles disappointment. The lady who keeps her good humor and adapts to life as it happens is someone he'll want to be with going forward.

7. Interest

The two people in a relationship don't have to have everything in common, but it helps if they share some interests. Likewise, it says something about your commitment to a relationship if you care about the things your partner likes.

You shouldn't fake being a football fan just to please him (phoniness won't get you anywhere) but it does help to display a genuine interest in the things that are important to him.

On a related note, being willing to try new things is also helpful. Just because you've never gone fishing before doesn't mean you won't like it - and he'll appreciate it if you try.

These seven crossroads aren't the only things a man look for in the woman he's dating, but they make a difference. If you can tick these things off, there's a good chance your relationship will go from casual to committed.

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5 signs it’s only a beautiful friendship and not love https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/5-signs-its-only-a-beautiful-friendship-and-not-love/ Mon, 13 Nov 2017 02:38:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/5-signs-its-only-a-beautiful-friendship-and-not-love/ Thinking of turning a friendship into a romantic relationship? Here are 5 signs that your friendship is just a friendship…

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You have this one special friend, and you're wondering if your friendship could turn into love. We've all been there. The idea of falling in love with a friend is an enticing one. The two of you know and love one another as friends already... so why not give it a try?

But how can you tell if it's just friendship, or if there's something more beneath the surface? It can be nerve-wracking to suggest dating a friend. You might worry about losing the friendship if the relationship doesn't work out.

Here are five signs that your friendship is just that- and not a love affair waiting to happen.

1. There's no physical attraction

When you have a close friend who would typically be someone you'd date, it's normal to wonder if the two of you might be a fit for one another. Often, friendships can thrive with a frisson of sexual attraction beneath the camaraderie.

When you genuinely love someone, you might try to convince yourself that you could get past the fact that you're not physically attracted to them. That's a mistake unless you want to end up breaking your friend's heart.

Think about it this way: what happens if you don't grow into having a physical attraction with each other? You'll be left in an intimate relationship with someone who doesn't attract you physically. If this scenario sounds familiar, stick with friendship.

2. You're not ready for a commitment

When you're already friends, it might be too much to have a casual dating relationship. It's natural to have high expectations- and so you should have a high standard for getting involved.

If you're only looking for a good time, then dating your friend isn't the best way to go. And the same is true of them- if you're interested and you already love them, the last thing you want is something that feels like it isn't real.

Be honest about what you're looking for, and if your lack of commitment might break your friend's heart, ask yourself if it's worth the risk to try dating.

3. You disagree about the big things

It's no big deal to disagree on where to eat or which movie to see, but it is a big deal if you two aren't on the same page when it comes to life's big questions.

For example, if you want kids and he doesn't, don't make the mistake of thinking you'll be able to change his mind. You won't. And starting down that path will only lead to disappointment and resentment.

Likewise, if you have big differences in terms of where you want to live and what you want out of life, you need to ask yourself whether a romantic relationship between the two of you is likely to succeed. No couple agrees on everything, but you do need to be in sync about the things that will form the basis of your life together.

4. You want them to change

The things that can be adorable and endearing in a friend can sometimes be annoying in your partner. It's normal to look at a pal and wonder if there could be something more there, but if you find yourself thinking, "He'd be perfect if only he'd..." then it's only friendship and not love.

Most people change only if they need to. It's not easy to break out of a habit and try something new- and if your attraction to someone is contingent upon change, you can be sure that it won't last.

A friendship can turn into love only if you love the person as they are. If you don't, treasure the friendship and don't try to change it.

5. One of you isn't single

Attraction can blossom between friends even if one of them is already in a relationship. We can't control who we find attractive, but we can control what we do about it.

Maybe the possibility of a true love connection between the two of you exists. But if one of you is already in a committed relationship, the friendship should remain a friendship. You can revisit the possibility of a love connection when you're both single, but introducing infidelity into your friendship will only hurt both of you in the long run.

Friendship is beautiful

We all need friends. If your friendship doesn't blossom into love, it can still be a beautiful part of your life— that lasts your lifetime.

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6 diseases that can grow in your body when you don’t sleep enough https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/6-diseases-that-can-grow-in-your-body-when-you-dont-sleep-enough/ Thu, 05 Oct 2017 02:59:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/6-diseases-that-can-grow-in-your-body-when-you-dont-sleep-enough/ We all notice common side effects when we haven't gotten a good night's sleep. But did you know there are…

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We all notice common side effects when we haven't gotten a good night's sleep: crankiness, faintness, muscle aches and a general inability to think or function.

But did you know there are even more serious diseases that can develop or worsen with continued sleep deprivation?

Each of us has faced a situation where we needed to stay up to get something important accomplished. When that habit becomes regular, however, you can find yourself dealing with more serious issues.

People who consistently fail to get enough sleep are at an increased risk of chronic disease, according to the Division of Sleep and Medicine at Harvard Medical School. If you aren't getting enough sleep, you could be at risk for a lot more than that uncomfortable groggy feeling.

Here are six serious diseases that can grow in your body when you don't sleep enough:

1. Alzheimer's

Researchers linked poor sleep habits to a cause of Alzheimer's Disease (ALS). The same study concluded that lack of sleep also aids in the disease's progression.

2. Prostate cancer

In a study consisting of 2,425 Icelandic men between the ages of 67 and 96, researchers found that men with sleep problems were 60 percent more likely to be diagnosed prostate cancer. And this number increased when subjects reported a difficulty staying asleep.

Scientists now attribute the connection between cancer and sleep deprivation to low levels of melatonin, an important chemical for suppressing tumor growth.

3. Obesity

Many new studies link lack of sleep with weight gain. During sleep, our bodies secrete hormones that help control appetite, energize metabolism and process glucose.

Not getting enough sleep will throw off the balance of these and other parts of the body's chemistry, including cortisol, insulin and leptin.

Leptin is the hormone that tells the brain your body has had enough food. Consequently, lack of sleep can lead to food cravings even if you've eaten enough. If this cycle continues, the additional calories will continue to add up and make future attempts at weight loss all the more difficult.

4. Diabetes

Type 2 diabetes can develop from lack of sleep due to the influence sleep has on the body's glucose processing.

One short-term sleep restriction study discovered that when a group of healthy patients had their sleep time reduced from eight hours or more to four hours per night, they processed glucose more slowly than they did when they slept 12 hours.

5. Heart disease and hypertension

There is growing evidence of a relationship between sleeping disorders and heart disease.

For sleep apnea sufferers, there are multiple issues that can appear over time. Apnea sufferers experience brief surges in blood pressure each time they wake up, which over time can lead to the chronic elevation of blood pressure known as hypertension, a major risk factor for cardiovascular disease.

Additionally, patients with an existing hypertension condition showed elevated blood pressure rates throughout the entire day after a bad night's rest.

6. Mood disorders

Chronic sleep loss can lead to long-term mood disorders including depression, anxiety and mental distress.

In one study, subjects who slept four and a half hours per night reported feeling more stressed, sad, angry and mentally exhausted. In another, subjects who slept four hours per night showed less optimism and sociability. And each of these symptoms improved immediately when they went back to a normal sleep schedule.

It's an easy preventative measure

All of us are aware that sleep is something that we need regularly; everyone has experienced the weakness, bad moods and lack of focus that result from a bad night. Too often, though, it's treated as a luxury, not a requirement. Many things can get in the way of a good night's sleep, from stress to studying for a final exam or from just overscheduling.

What people need to realize is that lack of sleep, especially on an ongoing basis, can lead to much more serious and even life-threatening conditions. As we've seen above, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure and more can lead to a lower quality of health and shorter life expectancy.

Many of us have been told what preventative measures we can take to prevent many of the conditions listed above such as diet, exercise, aspirin regimen, etc. The easiest measure you can add to this list is simply getting enough sleep on a regular basis.

So the next time you decide to take on a large project and tell yourself, "I'll sleep when I'm dead," you may find yourself facing that last sleep a lot sooner than you would like.

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4 powerful ways to rid your relationship of bad habits https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/4-powerful-ways-to-rid-your-relationship-of-bad-habits/ Thu, 21 Sep 2017 03:10:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/4-powerful-ways-to-rid-your-relationship-of-bad-habits/ Give these things a try to detoxify your relationship.

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Being in love can be a wonderful feeling. You experience a type of relationship you can't get with anyone else.

Each relationship goes through similar stages. There's the puppy love, or "honeymoon phase," where you both are in complete awe of one another.

Then, you move into a more comfortable stage, where you both begin to open up and learn more about each other.

Now and then, a couple will enter a stage where they can hardly stand to be in the same room with one another. Couples enter this stage for different reasons.

The true test of relationships is being able to either avoid this stage, or work through it successfully together.

Here are four things you and your partner can practice to rid your relationship of bad habits:

1. Amp up communication

Communication is crucial for a lasting relationship. Many conflicts arise from a lack of communication. So, it's important that as a couple, you maintain consistent communication with one another to avoid making the relationship toxic.

If something has been bothering you, speak up about it and express it to your partner. You should allow each other to feel comfortable talking about things on your mind. Also, try to use more "I" messages over "You" messages to avoid making your partner feel like you're blaming them. Blaming can turn a positive conversation into a negative one.

For example, when expressing how you feel, you would want to say, "I feel like we don't spend enough time cuddling," versus saying, "You never want to cuddle."

2. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

If you love someone enough to be in a relationship with that person, then respect them. Don't belittle them or make them feel inadequate. Instead, empower each other and treat each other as equals in the relationship. Showing support for each other's goals is a great way to show respect for one another.

Also, be respectful of the fact that you have different opinions. Being able to understand where the other person is coming from is more important than always being right.

3. Love yourself

Before any relationship can be successful, you have to learn to love yourself. Relationships are meant to bring supplemental happiness to your life, not be the sole reason for it. Maintain who you are throughout the relationship. A few ways to do that are:

  • Keep up with your favorite hobbies

  • Go out with your friends

  • Do things that make YOU happy

There's nothing wrong with setting healthy boundaries to keep the relationship strong and positive. It's healthy for any relationship to have a good dose of separation now and then. You get the chance to take a few moments for yourself and the things you each enjoy; this allows you both to bring something to the relationship. Being yourself was most likely the reason that your partner became attracted to you in the first place. So stay true to that and allow him or her to do so as well.

4. Set and maintain expectations

Every person is different when it comes to what they expect from a relationship. And it's OK for you both to be different. The important thing is that you each communicate expectations you have to each other.

Be clear with your reason for setting them. This can help clear a lot of confusing ground as you continue to build on your relationship.

A relationship requires the effort of two people to make it work. It's not always going to be perfect. However, when you both work at maintaining it and implementing these exercises regularly, you can prevent it from becoming toxic. Creating these positive habits now can determine the success of your relationship. As you work on these powerful exercises, you can create a healthy and lasting relationship you can both appreciate and enjoy.

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4 SUPER powerful exercises to detoxify your relationship from bad habits https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/4-super-powerful-exercises-to-detoxify-your-relationship-from-bad-habits/ Fri, 18 Aug 2017 15:56:13 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/4-super-powerful-exercises-to-detoxify-your-relationship-from-bad-habits/ Marriage takes hard work, dedication and a commitment to your spouse. Sometimes trouble lurks, but you can overcome it if…

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Weddings are wonderful. The couple plans all the fun events leading up to and on the big day, and the celebration seems to never end. But after the hurrah of the wedding events, we all know life starts to set in and marriage takes work.

Following all the parties and gifts, the real work begins. Two people who want a relationship to work must understand that there are daily habits they must practice to sustain a lasting and beautiful marriage.

Marriage involves two people not only committing to one another, but to an equal partnership of introspection. Whether you're newlyweds or have been married for 20 years, you have to understand that daily exercises are important to keeping your marriage alive.

Take a look at these four most powerful exercises to detoxify your relationship from bad habits:

1. Treat each other with respect

R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Aretha Franklin had it right when she said that people should demand respect. Respect means treating someone as an equal and not making them feel inadequate.

When you name call or place blame on one another, it only creates feelings of resentment. Arguments will happen whether you like it or not. The way you treat each other will be a great test to showing your respect for one another.

Being mindful of your tone and the words you use on a regular basis will help your spouse feel like you care about them and they're your top priority. Be fair with one another - relationships are about partnerships, not competition.

You should also respect each other's boundaries and opinions. Just because you don't see eye-to-eye doesn't mean you have the right to judge the other person. Understanding where your spouse is coming from is worth more than agreeing on the same idea.

2. Stay connected with communication

Communication is one of the most vital aspects of any relationship. Speak up if something bothers you and allow the other person to speak while you sit and listen. Many conflicts occur in relationships because of communication issues.

People who choose a relationship are committed to their partner. So, you can only expect that the way they say or do things is of positive intent. If there is any type of disagreement between the two of you, talk it out and let each other have time to speak.

You should feel comfortable talking with your spouse openly about your feelings. You don't necessarily have to be great at communication, but you do have to be good at being open and fair.

3. Set and maintain expectations

We all come from different walks of life, and all grew up in different situations. With that being said, every person has different expectations when it comes to relationships.

Some people have general expectations such as no appreciation for fidelity. People can also have diverse expectations where one person is more lenient than another when it comes to financial situations. Whatever the similarities or differences are, a couple is successful when they have particular expectations in the marriage and both parties adhere to those expectations.

Of course, your criteria for your marriage should be practical and specific to your marriage. What works for other couples may not work for you. Maintaining an open conversation about expectations and how those expectations should be met is a great way to ensure positive habits in your marriage.

4. Practice self-love

When you choose to commit yourself to another person for the rest of your life, you're committing to love them forever. You're demonstrating your love for this person, and you should strive to prove that you're ready to devote yourself completely to the relationship.

However, you shouldn't lose yourself in the process. When some people get into relationships, they become dependent on the other person and forget about their own needs. Avoid this by setting alone time or hang out with your friends without your spouse.

It's also important to know your worth and what you bring to the relationship. Psychology Today describes self-love as being able to accept your weaknesses and strengths without feeling like you need to justify your shortcomings.

In other words, you should never feel as though you would be nothing without your spouse. Besides, if your spouse truly cares about you, they will want you to focus on yourself sometimes.

Marriage lets your significant other know you love them so much you wanted to commit yourself to them for the rest of your life. As you go through marriage, you should understand that there is a great effort required on your part that promotes positive habits for a long-term relationship.

There's no magic pill that will fix anyone's relationships, just like there is no antidote for losing weight. However, hard work, the right diet and exercise can help weight loss. Similarly, relationships require dedication, heart and a commitment to keep the relationship strong and alive.

Doing these these four powerful exercises will help you gain a strong bond with your spouse and will let you enjoy a happy marriage. It takes two to tango, so both of you should take the lead and dance with intention.

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5 easy ways to unplug from your phone (and fight your anxiety) https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/5-easy-ways-to-unplug-from-your-phone-and-fight-your-anxiety/ Tue, 10 Jan 2017 06:30:01 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/5-easy-ways-to-unplug-from-your-phone-and-fight-your-anxiety/ What's the downside of our digital age? There are a few disorders. Is it time for digital detox? Here's how…

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We have been reaping the immense benefits of a digital world for a few years now. In a lot of ways, it has certainly made our lives a lot easier and more connected.

We are constantly juggling both our personal and professional lives using digital gadgets. But what's the downside? Is it time for a digital detox?

According to Gartner, there's been a significant rise in digital disorders as people are becoming increasingly obsessed with a virtual world. This can lead to the following disorders:

  • Anxiety

  • Anger

  • Insomnia

  • Depression

  • OCD

  • Social isolation

This phenomenon may not be limited to moms and dads. Research found that 40% of kids under 2 years of age have used tablets and smartphones.

It's no surprise that we can all use a digital detox.

You can do this by unplugging as a family and reconnecting with each other in the physical world. Here are some ideas to get you and your family started on a digital detox lifestyle:

1. Be a family role model

When you start the processes of limiting time on smart devices, parents will need to set a good example.

Stick to the rules that you have set for screen time and be a role model. At the same time, don't shame the kids if they're struggling with it. Instead, encourage them and lead by example.

2. Introduce activities to replace screen time

Let's face it, kids have gotten used to hanging out on the couch glued to their devices. So, it's going to be tough to get them to put the gadgets down and start moving again.

Plan some fun indoor and outdoor activities to get them excited. This can be anything from throwing the ball around to taking a walk in the park. You should also note that spending time outdoors will be very rewarding to your health.

Try these new activities for a couple of weeks, and your kids will start looking forward to this digital downtime.

3. Deny accesses to devices during meals

While you're at it, set up some house rules that prohibit phones, tablets and TV shows during meals. Instead, use it as a great opportunity to bond with each other.

Being distracted by smart devices or the TV can also lead to overeating at mealtime, so the benefits of putting down these devices can be far reaching.

4. Keep devices out of the bedroom

Sleep cycles can easily be broken with a burst of light from a smartphone, so switching back to a regular alarm clock is a better option.

What's even better is that kids can't play games, text or call late at night.

5. Implement a 30 minutes before bedtime rule

To make it a lifestyle change that is successful, you will also need to start adhering to a rule where all devices are turned off 30 minutes before bedtime. This will also help get the kids to go to bed.

A digital detox won't be easy for the adults or the children. The first few days might even feel like recovering from addiction. But if you stick to your guns, you can ensure that you and your family stays healthy and close.

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What you need to know about compulsive behavior https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/what-you-need-to-know-about-compulsive-behavior/ Thu, 20 Oct 2016 16:21:14 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/what-you-need-to-know-about-compulsive-behavior/ Compulsive behaviors can be inherited or learned over a period of time.

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Compulsive behavior comes in many forms where sufferers are tormented with recurrent images, thoughts and impulses. It's an anxiety disorder that's categorized as OCD or obsessive-compulsive disorder. In severe cases, it can even dramatically disrupt lives and cause extreme distress.

It's really a trap for people who suffer with is, as you will end up spending an excessive amount of time trying to go through the motions. When you're stuck in this cycle, it can become impossible for someone to even maintain normal human relationships.

What are the different types of compulsive behavior?

  • Fear of contamination

  • Hoarding

  • Intrusive thoughts

  • Repeated checking

With over 2 million Americans affected by this disease, there's a pretty good chance that you know someone suffering from it.

Compulsive behavior

Compulsions are behaviors that are displayed by individuals with obsessions. By engaging in compulsive behaviors, it can help relieve some of the stress and anxiety caused by obsessions.

It's similar to what addicts experience as the compulsive behavior is a direct result of excessive thought.

Obsessions

Obsessions can be explained as ideas, thoughts and images that you can't escape from.

Having said that, it's normal for people to have disturbing thoughts every now and again, but people with OCD can't escape these thoughts no matter what they do to be rid of them.

These recurring thoughts and images can have a debilitating effect on someone suffering from OCD.

Obsessions without compulsions

This disease isn't something that's black and white. You can have obsessions without any physical behavior that's linked to it.

For example, you might keep worrying about a loved one far away. In this situation, although your worry can be continuous and consuming, you can't control the situation as you can't do anything about it.

So to be diagnosed with OCD can be difficult as there isn't any compulsive behavior associated with it.

How does it manifest itself?

Fear of contamination

Have you ever noticed someone trying to open a door without touching the doorknob or maybe you do it yourself? That's compulsive behavior in action.

People who suffer from this disorder will shower several times a day and wash their hands over and over again.

Further, they will also keep cleaning their homes to make sure that it's free of germs and spotless.

Hoarding

The compulsion to hoard everything that an individual has ever owned comes from an emotional attachment to stuff. As a result, the very thought of throwing it away can cause a lot of distress.

Intrusive thoughts

Sufferers tend to have recurring images with intrusive thoughts that are usually interpreted as horrific. This can manifest itself by mentally replaying something that happened in the past, over and over again.

When this happens, it can trap someone within their home out of fear that the past can repeat itself if they go outside.

Repeatedly checking

Repeatedly checking and intrusive thoughts are connected. The result of intrusive thoughts is the behavior of repeatedly checking things to make sure that everything is safe.

It's the same thing when you walk around the house checking the windows and doors over and over again fearing that someone might break in.

We still don't understand what causes OCD, but it's known to have a genetic connection. At the same time, such behaviors can also be learned over a long period of time.

If anything in the article sounds familiar, reach out to a medical professional as there's help out there to manage and keep your compulsions in check.

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Does social media make your child more likely to do drugs? https://www.familytoday.com/family/does-social-media-make-your-child-more-likely-to-do-drugs/ Tue, 10 May 2016 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/does-social-media-make-your-child-more-likely-to-do-drugs/ Social media is harmless for many ...

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A whopping 90 percent of people ages 18-29 use one or more social networking sites. Needless to say, social media has a huge impact on the lives of teens and young adults.

But have you ever wondered how social media impacts the life of someone addicted to drugs or alcohol?

Here is what research tells us about the link between social media and addiction.

Social media encourages addictive behaviors

Few people realize how addictive social media is. In fact, social networking is designed to be habit-forming. So, it's no surprise that teen social media users are more likely to smoke, drink and take drugs than their social-media-less peers.

The University of Albany surveyed undergraduates using questions modeled after a test for alcohol dependence. They found 10 percent of students displayed addictive behaviors when using social media. That same 10 percent were more likely to have issues with emotional regulation and alcohol abuse.

The National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse also found that teenagers who use social media are at a greater risk for substance abuse. They are:

  • 5 times more likely to use tobacco,

  • 3 times more likely to use alcohol and

  • 2 times more likely to use marijuana.

Social media has addictive qualities and can unintentionally encourage other addictive behavior. This is why you often see a relationship between social networking and substance abuse. But, that's not the only way social media can influence an addict.

Social media encourages peer pressure

For young adults, social media can be a place to explore what's popular based on the activities friends are participating in.

Because of this, young adults are often influenced to use drugs. A worrisome 90 percent of teens are exposed to pictures of their peers drinking and using substances on social media before the age of 15, and these pictures appear to have a big influence. Teens who have seen social media images of other kids getting drunk, using drugs or passing out are:

  • 3 times more likely to drink alcohol,

  • 4 times more likely to smoke marijuana,

  • more likely to be able to quickly get marijuana, controlled substances or alcohol and

  • more likely to have peers who abuse prescription and illegal drugs.

Social media encourages low self-esteem

Social media can play a big role in how teenagers and young adults view themselves and others. Seeing people having fun with alcohol or illegal substances on social media can encourage an addict (or potential addict) to feel jealousy and FOMO (fear of missing out), influencing them to take actions to include themselves in the behavior.

At the same time, social media can seriously impact a person's self-esteem. Cyberbullying is a major problem for many teens on social networks today. According to Columbia University's National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, 19 percent of 12- to 17-year-olds are victims of cyberbullying.

Bullying of any kind can cause poor self-perception and low self-worth, which are linked to susceptibility of drug use. The same research study found that victims of cyberbullying were at a higher risk of using tobacco, alcohol and marijuana than those who never experienced it.

In many ways, social media is a healthy and harmless activity. However, there are certain factors that can make an addict more prone to relapse if they use it.

Understand the role social media, peer pressure, jealousy and self-esteem has on addictive behavior to determine the influence social media might have on you or a loved one with an addiction.

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7 reasons why staying sober is so darn difficult https://www.familytoday.com/family/7-reasons-why-staying-sober-is-so-darn-difficult/ Wed, 25 Nov 2015 08:45:26 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/7-reasons-why-staying-sober-is-so-darn-difficult/ Staying sober isn't a walk in the park. In fact, it can be one of the hardest challenges you'll have…

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Parents tend to worry about their children a lot. From schoolwork to social pressures, loving parents are constantly thinking, hoping, wishing and worrying for their children, praying that they will make good choices.

So when kids succumb to peer pressure, or give in to their curiosity and experiment with drugs, cigarettes or alcohol, it can be devastating.

If they become addicted, worry increases tenfold.

Perhaps the most difficult situation for a parent, or anybody close to an addict, is seeing a loved one doing so well and staying sober, and then relapsing.

Staying sober is perhaps one of the most difficult challenges an addict can face, which may be why the relapse rate is 50-90 percent, according to AlcoholRehab.com.

Why it is so difficult

1. Change is uncomfortable

Because of this, they tend to stick to their old ways. It's easier to stay in a comfort zone than to try to change a behavior. They begin to experience discomfort and turn back to alcohol, drugs or tobacco.

2. Symptoms scare them

Some addicts are so worried about the symptoms of withdrawal that they end up making the symptoms worse.

3. Challenges are too much

Addicts use drugs, alcohol and tobacco as crutches when problems arise. If they are faced with challenges, they try to ignore the problems, and unfortunately often slip back to their crutches.

4. Assumptions are easily made

If they expect the worst — a difficult time in recovery, for example — they will get the worst out of it. If they expect the best, they will get the best.

5. They are hard on themselves

Addicts can talk to themselves with excessive negativity. This internal conversation is unhelpful if they wish to finish their recovery. Avoiding listening to this negative talk will help addicts know and realize that they are good enough to recover.

6. They have high expectations

Of course they should have high goals, but expecting perfection only sets them up for disappointment.

7. They hate demands

Having demands placed on them is difficult. But most recovery programs have some demands required of them that will need to be accepted and met.

Nine solutions for staying sober

If you have difficulty with staying sober because of any of the reasons listed, you can lean on family and friends to help you. Here are some solutions:

1. Change your mind, change your life

Instead of negative thinking, start reading books and websites about thinking positively. If you change your attitude, you will change how you face recovery and other parts of your life. Consider the opportunities that lie ahead if you remain sober.

2. Distract yourself from withdrawal symptoms

Don't let your mind psych you out. Find ways to relax and accept the symptoms. Work your way through them without thinking about them.

3. Exercise

We all know how beneficial exercise can be. And that is no different during recovery. Exercise can help in staying sober by:

  • Improving your self-image

  • Reducing depression & negativity

  • Improving brain function

  • Improving strength and physical appearance

4. Be optimistic

Start realizing that recovery will be a good thing for you. Start seeing possibilities of sobriety and beyond. Look for the great opportunities to come into your life because you no longer have that crutch. Staying positive not only helps you increase your chances of staying sober, but it improves your mood, as well as the moods of those around you.

5. Find a more encouraging inner voice

Reading books and respecting yourself help to move out the bad words and input the good thoughts. You might find this strategy challenging at first, but getting rid of negative talk is important to ensure your recovery.

6. Be realistic

Remember that getting sober is the first step. It is going to take time and effort to build a good life after drugs, alcohol or tobacco. Keep those opportunities in mind, though, because eventually, you will make them come true.

7. Be open

Recognize that demands are there to help you reach your goals. Don't question them. Embrace them and keep going.

8. Be strong and determined

Realize and embrace the fact that you will not be able to have drugs or alcohol ever again. This is important for your success.

9. Get to know others who inspire you

They can make a difference both in your life and your recovery. Optimism from people who inspire you will be contagious.

While at times recovery can seem impossible, and the road simply too long and hard, remember that others have been there before you, and have succeeded.

Don't give up hope.

Keep pushing.

Give your recovery 110 percent, as if your life depends on it.

Because it does.

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7 drug addiction truths you wish your children knew https://www.familytoday.com/family/7-drug-addiction-truths-you-wish-your-children-knew/ Fri, 12 Jun 2015 06:31:01 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/7-drug-addiction-truths-you-wish-your-children-knew/ Although it may be difficult, teaching your child the facts about drug addiction is something you shouldn't avoid.

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It's difficult to put the words "children" and "drug addiction" in the same sentence, but doing so is crucial. If we want to protect our kids from substance abuse, we need to educate them. In order to make smart life choices, teenagers - and even kids younger than 13 - need to know the reasons why they should avoid dangerous substances.

Pay close attention to these seven eye-opening facts about underage substance abuse - and make sure you share them with your kids.

1. Teenage drug use leads to addiction

According to Everyday Health, 9 out 10 adult addicts begin using before age 18. In the United States alone, 25 percent of Americans who started using addictive substances before 18 are still addicted as adults.

The developing teenage brain is part of the reason behind these adult addiction rates. According to Everyday Health, if substance abuse happens when the brain is more fully developed (like it is in your mid-twenties) you are less likely to become addicted than if you use earlier in development. The teenage brain creates a playground for addiction that could very well last into adulthood.

2. Drug use starts before high school

Today's youth have their first experiences with drugs and alcohol not in high school or even college, but in junior high.

According to a report by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA), most teens first try cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs when they are 13 years old.

3. Underage drug use could lower your IQ

In addition to increasing your likelihood of adult addiction, teenage drug use may cause serious physical damage to the developing brain.

According to this NPR article, some studies show that regular marijuana use (once a week or more) may cause structural changes to the teen brain; more specifically, regions dealing with memory and problem solving. Alarmingly, this damage to the developing brain results in a lower IQ as an adult.

4. Prescription pills are the new gateway drug

Prescription drug abuse is a nationwide problem, and more kids are unknowingly using them as a "gateway" into more detrimental drugs. The above-mentioned CASA research found that 15 percent of high school seniors have misused prescription drugs like OxyContin and Percocet. A staggering 90 percent of those kids who misuse prescription drugs go on to abuse other substances.

5. Inhalants cause permanent brain damage

Inhalants (huffing) are among the few drugs used more by younger adolescents than older ones, according to NIDA for Teens. Children need to know that huffing household products like paint thinner or "whippets" can cause severe brain damage, or even death.

Long-term inhalant use is extrememly damaging. Inhalents damage nerve fibers in the brain that can cause permanent damage. Difficulting walking and talking (similar to the effects of multiple sclerosis) often result from damaged nerve fibers caused by long-term inhalent use.

6. Using substances hurts you academically

The CASA report found that teen substance users (including users of alcohol, cigarettes, and marijuana) are twice as likely as non-users to have poor grades.

Even if you make it into a good college, drugs and alcohol abuse can cause academic problems- some 28 percent of college dropouts abuse alcohol.

7. Underage drinking puts you in dangerous situations

Alcohol is still among the most commonly abused drug among teenagers. Life-long consequences are only part of the dangerous effects of underage drinking. Poor decision making, like choosing to get behind the wheel while drunk, or engaging in risky sexual encounters, can put many lives in danger.

In the past month, 1 in 10 high schoolers interviewed for the CASA report said they have driven after drinking alcohol in the past month. Remember: over over 50 percent of traffic accidents involve alcohol or drugs. Also, 1 in 5 sexually active high schoolers said they used drugs or alcohol before their last sexual experience.

Sharing this information about underage substance abuse and drug addiction with your own children, or any teens and older children you know can help lower these frightening statistics. Spreading awareness helps prevent kids from making bad choices that could ruin their lives. Though it may not be a fun conversation, these are things that need to be talked about.

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