"So, what do you do for fun? What are your hobbies?" While I was on a date night several years ago, the wife of my husband's business associate asked me these two questions and her inquiry changed my life forever.

At the time, I had four kids under the age of seven, and I couldn't think of one thing I did in my life that wasn't about raising children, serving in my church or running a household. I drew a complete blank when she asked her question because nothing in my life was just for me.

For days I thought about the conversation and the more I thought about it, the more bothered I became.

After all these years of being a wife and mom, I had lost myself. I was ready to change. Instead of feeling lost in a life of putting everyone and everything before myself, I started carving out time just for me and found that having my own thing made the other parts of my life better.

If you are feeling the need to fit some "me time" in your crazy life, here are 13 tips that will help:

1. Talk to your spouse

Your spouse can't read your mind, so communicate what you need. The first thing I did when I realized I needed time to do something just for me was to talk to my husband about it. He didn't know how I was feeling but once I expressed what I needed, he helped me find the time.

2. Eliminate time wasters

If you want time for yourself but don't think you can squeeze one more thing in, take an inventory of what you are really doing each day. You will probably discover you can make some adjustments, get some help or eliminate unimportant things and squeeze some time in for yourself.

3. Get up early

In the book What Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast: A Short Guide to Making Over Your Mornings, author Laura Vanderkam compares using your mornings to paying yourself before you pay your bills. If you wait to give yourself the time you need until the end of the day, there will probably be nothing left.

4. Figure out what "me time" looks like for you

If you aren't sure what to do, think about things you loved as a child or make a list of activities that make you feel excited. What is something you've always wanted to learn or do? Figure it out and go do it.

5. Ask a friend for help

A friend can watch your kids for you, do something with you, or give you ideas if you aren't sure what your "me time" should involve or simply offer the encouragement you need.

6. Have a plan

You can't simply say you are going to take time for yourself. You have to take action and plan for it. Decide what you want to do, write it on the calendar and make arrangements to make your alone time happen.

7. Take advantage of unused moments

I recently heard of a busy mom who wrote an entire book using the time she spent waiting for her kids at various activities. Instead of scrolling through Facebook, pack your laptop, your favorite book, a knitting project or anything else that will allow you time to yourself when you have unexpected moments alone.

8. Make yourself a priority

You matter. You don't need to feel guilty or selfish for taking time for yourself. You are more than the tasks your crazy life requires.

9. Understand what "me time" does for you

Taking time for yourself re-energizes you in other parts of your life. When I come home from an early morning workout at the gym, I feel ready to conquer my daily tasks. You'll better be able to serve others in your life when you take the time to fill yourself up first.

10. Do it with a friend

You are not alone in your need for doing something for yourself. Chances are good that you know someone else who has a crazy life and needs a break, too. Committing to do something for yourself with someone else will not only give you a support system but also help you follow through and take the time you need.

11. Remember the season of life you are in

Different seasons of life affect what you can do to recharge, but don't give up if something you want to pursue won't work in your life now. Save the idea for later and find something that works today.

12. Keep it simple

"Me time" doesn't have to be something grand, expensive or time consuming, so don't overthink it. A bath with a candle and a good book might be all you need to recharge.

13. Learn to say no

In her book, The Fringe Hours, Jessica Turner shares that saying no to things that aren't important frees you up to say yes to what really matters to you. Turner said, "I prioritize what really matters and say no to the rest. Moreover, I have learned that while I sometimes regret saying yes, I never regret saying no."

I am happy to say that now when someone asks me what I do for fun or what my hobbies are, I have plenty to say. Taking time for myself to recharge and do something I enjoy has helped me handle my crazy life a little better. Don't be afraid to make some changes and get the "me time" you need.

The post 13 doable ways to squeeze ‘me time’ into your crazy life appeared first on FamilyToday.

As a parent, you often have feelings of failure and frustration, but there are times when you get some much needed reassurance that you must be doing something right and those moments are just what you need to recharge your parenting batteries.

Here are 10 perfect moments when you know you are doing parenting right.

1. When your children teach someone else how to do something

As a parent, you spend a lot of time teaching your kids, and you really know your teachings have stuck when you see them sharing the knowledge. From tying a shoe to throwing a football to solving algebra, it's a great parenting moment when your kids teach someone else what you have taught them.

2. When your children are kind to others with no prompting from you

Seeing your child reach out and show compassion to someone else will fill you with love and pride for that child and will help you know you are on the right track with your parenting.

3. When your children show independence

Your goal as a parent is to have your children grow up and be productive adults. When you see them making decisions, taking care of things on their own and doing things without being asked, you'll feel your parenting skills are on point.

4. When your children create good habits

From the time they are born, you teach your kids good habits like brushing teeth daily, saying thank you, being on time and doing homework. The moments when you see your children using the good habits you have consistently tried to teach is a huge parent payday.

5. When your children make good choices on their own

Many parents express how they feel on top of the parenting world when they see their children choosing to do good things on their own. When your children decide on their own to do good, you can know you are doing something right.

6. When your children show you love

You may try to hide your emotions from your kids, but sometimes the tears can't be held back. You are so touched when your child notices you are having a bad day and responds with a hug or an "I love you." You definitely experience a perfect parenting moment when your kids express love to you.

7. When your children repeat positive things you've said

Kids will mimic what they hear their parents say. When they repeat something positive you've told them to themselves, a sibling or someone else, you feel reassured you are on target with your parenting.

8. When your children apply what you've taught them

The way you know your kids are listening to the things you are trying to teach them is when they actually apply the teachings in their own lives. It's a great feeling to see your child trying to improve herself with a skill you taught her.

9. When your children learn from mistakes

It's hard to see your child make a mistake. You want to want to swoop in and take over before a wrong choice is made. But when you step back and let kids learn the lessons mistakes provide, you feel a perfect parenting moment.

10. When your children are peacefully sleeping

The days as a parent can be long and tiring, but sometimes all it takes to feel you're doing your best and you've got this parenting thing down is to watch your child sleeping. The stresses and hard things of the day melt away and you know you are doing something right.

What are your perfect parenting moments?

The post 10 perfect moments when you know you’re doing parenting right appeared first on FamilyToday.

We pray together as a family at least once a day, if not several times. I taught my children to pray when they were very young, but for years, in almost every prayer, every one of my kids has said the same phrase, "Bless Mom that she can get all of her work done today."

Lately, I have been cringing every time I hear them pray for me in this way. Why? Because I am a mom and my work for the day never gets totally finished. There is always more to do and many of the things I do as a mom are not just tasks to be checked off of a list.

As a mom, I want to be a nurturer and a spiritual adviser and a rock my children can depend on, and none of that work will ever be done. I can check off a list that the floors were mopped, the laundry was folded and the lunches were packed, but is that really what I want my kids to remember about me and about motherhood?

I don't think this phrase is something I taught them to say, but it is probably something I made them feel by my attitude, my never-ending to-do lists and my frustration at the end of the day when I didn't get everything done. I am aware of this, and I am trying to change, to be more deliberate in my mothering so they will remember a mother who loved them and nurtured them and not a mother who put her children second over a to-do list that was a mile long.

The other night during our weekly family meeting, we talked about the coming week and what everyone had going on. We talked about our plans, and we prepared for a spiritual lesson from my daughter. But before the lesson I told my kids I wanted to talk to them about something unrelated to our family schedule and unrelated to the lesson we were about to have.

I told them my feelings about the phrase they say in their prayers. I told them I am their mom and there will never be a day when I will go to bed at night and declare, "I got all of my mothering work done today," because as a mom to them my work is never done. I told them I hope when they grow up they will remember me as a mom that supported them, nurtured them, helped them and loved them unconditionally.

I also told them I was sorry for all of the years when I gave them the impression my to-do list and "getting work done" were the most important parts of my day. I asked for their forgiveness. I told them I wanted to change. I told them I wanted my mothering of them and what they needed to be the most important parts of my day.

My sweet husband then asked me how they could pray for me. I told them they could pray that I could be patient with them, that I could put them before mundane tasks and that I could love them the way they needed to be loved that day.

I hope I will never hear the phrase, "Bless Mom that she can get all of her work done," again. More importantly, I hope my children will know through my actions and my attitude that I feel blessed to be their mother and the work I do as their mother is the greatest job I will never be done with.

This article was originally published on Imperfectly Creative. It has been republished here with permission.

The post Helping my children (and myself) understand what it means to be a mother appeared first on FamilyToday.

When I write in my journal I often imagine my writings being cracked open 150 years from now and offering life-changing inspiration to a member of my posterity long after I am dead and gone. However, I've learned that you don't have to be dead for the writings in your journal to be useful to others now.

One Friday afternoon my 16-year-old daughter sent me a text during school telling me she got a 73% on a test. She had taken notes, studied, knew the material and was so discouraged by this score. I responded back with a pep talk that included advice to talk to her teacher for ideas to study better. I also reminded her there was plenty of time to get her grade back up. I expressed as much confidence in her as I could using emojis in a text message.

I wasn't sure if my pep talk worked. I thought about what she was experiencing and immediately remembered a similar experience I had my first semester at a major university. I was a 24-year-old community college transfer student who had not been in school for more than 3 years, and calculus was killing me.

I believe God equips mothers to help their children. I had the thought, which I know was from God, to read what I wrote in my journal about my experience in the calculus class years ago.

I pulled out the journal I wrote in during my college years and found what I was looking for. I had written about the struggles, how I dealt with them and how everything turned out. When I finished reading the entries that covered my ups and downs with calculus, I immediately knew my daughter needed to read my journal.

Luckily, the journal pages were in a three-ring binder. I took the pages out and wrote my daughter a note. I told her I understood what she was going through and asked her to read about my experience.

As a parent, I have often told my children, "I know how you feel." I think this approach is effective in some situations, but in this instance, the impact of sharing an experience was so much more meaningful because she could actually read the thoughts, feelings and struggles I wrote in the moment.

My daughter came to me later and expressed how the journal entry had helped her. I had the perfect opportunity to talk to her about her current situation while she asked me to expound on how I had handled my situation.

I still pen journal entries and daydream about inspiring future generations, but I also know I don't have to be dead for my journal to help my children now.

The post Why you don’t have to be dead for your journal to help your children appeared first on FamilyToday.