Steven Curtis Chapman wrote a song titled, "Cinderella." It chronicles the life of his daughter, from the time she's a five-year-old playing dress-up as a princess, to the day his princess becomes a queen by marrying her king. The theme of the song is that at each stage of his "baby's" life, he's going to take time out of his busy schedule to pay attention to her, get to know her, encourage her and embrace her individuality because "soon she'll be gone."

If you find yourself suddenly toward the end of the song where your baby is old enough to "soon be gone," but yet still feel as if she (or he even) is not ready to face the world without you, here are five ways you can ease your way into your child's adulthood whether you're ready for it or not:

1. Pay attention

It's common in today's society to be so busy making a living that making a life - particularly where your family is concerned — has become just another task on your "to-do" list. While there may not seem like enough hours in the day to do everything you HAVE to do, one of the easiest ways to begin to pay attention to your daughter is to carve out at least 15 minutes one night before you go bed to simply reflect on the life of your baby girl. Take time to without judgment- remember all of her unspoken accomplishments, special moments, dreams, heartbreaks, fears and even the spoken ones... everything HER.

You can even step this up a level by writing down all of your memories and discoveries so they'll be at the ready when you graduate to the next phase of your own growth in the life of your daughter.

2. Get to know him/her

Now that you've gotten uncomfortable — first of all by turning off the TV 15 minutes early to spend some time alone mentally with your young'un - the next step is to actually TALK to him (or her).

But wait! Before you go all in with the failed expectations and the "you didn't" this's and "you should have" that's, here's a quick lesson in Communication 101:

Using "I" statements will keep defenses down, eyes from rolling up and the purpose of the mission open and on track. Start by saying something like, "Ya know, child of mine, I spent some time thinking about you the other day, and I realize I don't really know you. I know I may have had some unspoken expectations you didn't meet, but then again, how could you if you didn't know about them? So how about we start fresh today?

Hi. I'm (insert parental role here). Nice to meet you. Tell me a little bit about yourself: what makes your smile? What breaks your heart? If time and money was no object what would you like to be doing? Tell me about your job. Tell me what/who inspires you. I want to know everything!"

Then get ready to be amazed!

3. Encourage her

This step piggy-backs the previous one because all you have to do here is LISTEN. While she's getting uncomfortable by sharing her fears, dreams, and life with you for perhaps the first time, all you need to do is HEAR HER WORDS - not what you want to hear, but what she's actually saying.

Listen to the meaning behind the words and support her by giving her space to begin to show her growth, her strengths, her weaknesses, and her vulnerability with you. From there, you'll be able to encourage, guide and support her through the next step.

4. Embrace his individuality

At this point, you're no doubt seeing your son (or daughter) in a whole new light. You're learning things about him you never knew, but you also realize he's grown and possibly even mature enough to - gasp! - make his own decisions. And guess what? If he makes wrong ones, now he trusts and respects you enough to talk to you about them and ask for help because you've given him the space to prove himself responsible, and in turn, spent the time developing your relationship and communication with him. Let's be honest here: this is what you've wanted his whole life anyway, right?

And all this leads to:

5. Enjoy your success

"So I'll dance with Cinderella while she is here in my arms... because all too soon the clock will strike midnight and she'll be gone."

It's inevitable. Your baby is going to leave home and sooner or later start a family of her own. Because you've taken the time, however, to get to know your daughter, encourage and embrace who she is as opposed to what she is, you can rest assured the lessons she's learned from you will be the model she uses to rear her own children, which will reshape lives for generations to come.

The little bit of time you sacrifice today pouring into the purposes, passions, and identities of your children is guaranteed to inspire a legacy of love, authenticity and integrity.

Way to go (insert parental role here)!!!

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"I'm not going to tell you again"�PICK UP YOUR DIRTY UNDERWEAR OFF THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR!!!"�

We've all been there. We've either been the threatener or the threatened. But no matter which side of the coin we were on, the fact remains that not only do dirty boxers belong in a hamper, we shouldn't have to tell - or be told - more than once (maybe three times) where they should actually reside.

While well-worn Fruit of the Looms may not be the subject you've "reminded"� your teen to take care of, there are no doubt a few other non-negotiables which have been repeated until you're both ready to scream. So how do you save yourself from the frustration of constant nagging and yet get your kid to actually follow through on the task at hand after the first ask? Punishments and rewards are useless. And seriously, can you really effectively "ground"� your 16-year-old for not picking up his skivvies?

No matter what ages your children are, here are three simple steps to getting them to do what you've asked after the first few - not the 100th - times.

1. Acknowledge your kid - not the action

All behaviors equal unmet needs. If your son's tighty-whiteys have taken up residence in the middle of the living room floor, there's more to the story than him just being rebellious. It might just be that your son is overwhelmed with life and needs an outlet to vent and the only way he can get your attention - positive or negative - is by leaving his drawers out in public. Or it might just so happen the hamper is always full, and he's trying to get YOUR attention.

Show your son he's a priority in your life by setting aside a scheduled time with him at least once a week to just talk. Ask him what's up with the underwear issue, listen to what he has to say and problem-solve together. You, of all people, know how important communication and interaction are to your own well-being. It's no different for a teenager than it is for you. The more you allow your son to express himself without fear of judgment or being "fixed,"� the more he'll desire to step up his game at home. After all, if your boss gave you praise instead of criticism, you'd be more likely to take care of business after the first ask too, right?

2. Use your "I"� statements

Your teenager wasn't born last night. He's going to know you eventually want to talk about the fact that his underwear is STILL watching The Price is Right with the family. Be real and vulnerable with him, and let him know that when you have to keep asking him to do something 100 times it makes you feel disrespected and frustrated - almost like he doesn't even care about your feelings at all. Approaching subjects like this from the "I"� vantage point keeps defenses down and communication flowing. It paves the way for him to say, "Dude! It's not like that at all. I'm just so tired from basketball and homework that I keep forgetting to pick them up once I leave the room."� Or, "Well, mom ... you keep telling me to put them in the laundry, but the basket is never where it's supposed to be."�

3. Meet in the middle

Once the root of the behavior is exposed, and you've both had a good laugh about what the other person was actually thinking (as opposed to what you THOUGHT they were scheming), you can find a solution that works for both of you. You can do your part to either keep the laundry basket empty or in its right spot, and he'll be more willing to do his part since you've allowed him the space to speak his truth without getting yelled out. It's a win-win for everyone.

Give it a try. Like everything, it may take a little perseverance to get the communication doors open. But then again, how desperate are you to save your voice and your sanity - and your living room floor?

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1. Ask

When you're walking in the house after a 13-hour day at the office carrying 42 bags of groceries and your kids playing Xbox barely notice your entrance, instead of mumbling under your breath about how inconsiderate and helpless they are, feel free to let them know you could most definitely use a hand. In that moment, they truly are unaware of what you're experiencing because they're focused on something totally non-related to you. Rather than expecting them to "know better," clear your throat, center yourself, explain the situation and gently ask them for some help. They may grumble a bit, but once you've let them know you're in need of a hero they'll more than likely run to your rescue.

2. Notice

Instead of nagging about every little thing that hasn't gotten done, notice the things that have and commend accordingly. Just like when your boss gives you props for a job well done, the people in your circle will respond the same way you do and desire to do their best because they've been acknowledged. And so the circle of what goes around comes around begins. When you show kindness, respect and love to your people, they'll give you the same in return.

3. Talk

Always - and I do mean always - speak your truth with love and respect. If something's bothering you, find the most appropriate way to use your "I"� statements to let the other person know something's on your mind. For example, if your husband comes home and barely grunts in your direction, and you've been waiting all day to talk to him, try not to take it personally. Instead of making up a story that you've done something wrong, feel free to say, "Hey, I can see you're a little distracted this evening. Tough day at work?"� This opens the door for him to respond with what's truly going on in his world, and a healthy conversation ensues rather than the curdling process of non-communication. Whenever you use your "I"� messages, you're diffusing any defensive reactions and softening the situation by showing you actually care about the person on the other end of the conversation. And once they've been able to process their day out loud rather than internalizing situations, they'll have room to find out how your day at the office and with the kids has been.

Even if you're lactose intolerant and have to drink almond or soy milk, there's always an expiration date by which the milk needs to be used before it goes bad. Communication is 100 percent the same way. So which would you rather have? A fridge (house) full of sour-smelling, unusable curdled liquid or fresh, healthy and pleasant tasting beverage the whole family enjoys? Communication - it does a body good.

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According to dictionary.com, Faith is defined as "confidence or trust in a person or thing; belief that is not based on proof." Whenever we hear the word faith, however, it's generally used in conjunction with religion. Regardless of whether it's faith in people, places, things, gods or God, relationship and communication are at the very core of what faith is. Without these two cornerstones, the foundation of belief and trust will be rocky at best. For example, I have faith my car will get me from point A to point B, but if I never turn on the car and drive it I will never have evidence of that faith.

The same is true when it comes to instilling faith and character in our children. We as parents must be in constant relationship and communication with our kids if we want them to grow into "fine young adults."� And let's face it ... who doesn't? But is there really a way as simple as 1, 2, 3 to help our offspring develop their own faith, trust, beliefs and ultimately voices? Indeed there is, and here are three concepts which will help bring about the proof.

1. Faith starts at birth

The very first feeling of affection your infant ever had was your loving hands pulling you close to your body as you introduce yourself to him. From that moment on, your son trusted you to nurture and develop him, teach him and guide him. At first breath, your son had faith in you to provide for him all the things he couldn't provide for himself. Chances are, at this point, your infant is now either a tween or teen still working on developing his sense of belonging and beliefs and trying to fit in wherever he can. Now is the perfect time to start getting to know your child's likes, dislikes, plans, dreams, secrets so your relationship and communication with him can grow stronger and stronger as his faith in you "having his back" becomes unshakable. There is nothing more noble than blessing your child with the security and confidence to know he is loved unconditionally.

2. Faith removes fear

As you begin to refine your relationship with your daughter, you'll also start to notice shifts in your own faith. You'll crave more and more knowledge of the love God has for you so you, in turn, can share the same unconditional love with her. These shifts may be uncomfortable at first - like taking off a cast you've had to wear for three months - but as you continually cultivate your communication with God, you'll also be fostering a spirit of trust and knowing that because you are infinitely loved worry is no longer necessary. Love casts out fear and frees you up to focus more on the beautiful young woman you have in your life as opposed to all the things that "could" happen to her. Here are some ways to restore faith when things go wrong.

3. Faith changes the world

As you and your children begin to communicate on a deeper and more eye-to-eye level, together you can stand in faith to affect change in not only the lives of your immediate family members but also each person for generations to come. Through healthy relationships and communication - the foundation of being able to undeniably know God's will for each of your lives - you indirectly allow everyone you come in contact with to rise to that same evolving level of faith and fearlessness by creating a ripple effect of change for the better. Again I ask ... who doesn't want that?

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1. Unfulfilled relationships with parents

Life is all about learning, and the way the School of Life lessons are taught can either make or break a person. Everyone looks to her parents to help her form her identity, yet most parents are teaching on a system which was handed down to them from their parents. Effective communication between parents and their children is one of the greatest lessons ever shared. It's also one which is rarely ever studied in either school or life.

Parents, with no fault of their own, go through life implementing their own ideals and desires on their children without ever realizing their kids have a voice and a mind of their own. When children aren't able to express themselves or their ideas, have every decision made for them or have no guidance whatsoever they begin to operate using a system based on a perceived lack of love, attention or worth. Because every person living was created to be accepted and be loved, children will instinctively begin to search for it anywhere they can find it if this basic need goes unmet. And so the cycle begins.

2. Unfulfilled relationship with a significant other

. If communication and self-worth issues go unresolved or stay buried throughout the formative years and carry into adulthood, those same issues will have no choice but to show up in any relationship that forms outside of the family dynamic. It's not uncommon for people to turn to their mates for rescuing and void-filling acknowledgement. Then, what generally ends up happening is the addictive behaviors get worse since communication breaks down, and the need to bury the pain of what's considered rejection increases. When there's no verbal outlet for frustrations or disappointments, the allure of escape moves to the top of the list of ways to cope.

3. Unfulfilled relationship with self

Lack of communication and lack of self-worth have a bond that is stronger than superglue. When a person internalizes her ideas, her fears, her pain or even her joy and has no outlet for expressing any of these thoughts, the chances of that person becoming an addict skyrocket. Without external feedback, whether positive or negative, it's nearly impossible for anyone to function in life. Communication is the GPS of a person's belief system. Until someone is able to use a device that's properly calibrated that lost person will stop to get directions from the first place that looks attractive.

This is obviously the short list of many contributing factors to the pain behind an addiction. The best course of action for anyone struggling through, or even in the beginning stages, of a relationship with this type of behavior is to find a way to express oneself. Even if that person's way of expression is not, in what most people would consider, the "healthiest,"� do it anyway! This is no one's business but the person who is hurting. The process is all about getting the pain, the thoughts and the self-abuse out of the person's head to make room for even just one or two new positive thoughts - as difficult as that may be to comprehend.

Journaling is one of the most amazing and cheapest ways to get that process started. Writing out every single thing the person in pain has ever wanted to say to anyone who has ever wronged him, looked at him funny or even cut him off in traffic - and then destroying the pages so as to never have to see or deal with the pain again - can be far more powerful than years of talking with under-qualified friends or even some counselors. God has an uncanny way of revealing not only his true identity through pen and paper, but also the buried beauty of the person doing the writing. And the healing begins"�

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You know how to survive each day wearing the mask that hides your secret and to take it off would leave you exposed and vulnerable. Here, however, are four gentle steps to help you peel away the layers of shame and guilt and replace them with confidence and empowerment.

1. Journal

One of the best places to begin the healing process and start to gain the confidence to free yourself from your pain is in your journal. It's there you can tell every deep, dark secret without the fear of anyone ever finding out. Moving the pain from your mind to your paper helps clear away all of the lies the secret has been telling you. It also frees you from living in the past and opens up the present moment where you were created to live.

2. Feel

Another phase of healing and gaining confidence is giving yourself permission to feel every emotion that shows up as you go through the process. Removing the words "should"� and "shouldn't"� from your vocabulary allows you to experience what you're feeling to the fullest. You'll be honoring your essence, extracting the truth of your identity, overwriting an outdated operating system and creating a space for a reignited passion for life.

"What if"� will more than likely wedge its way into your thoughts, but the negativity these words conjure up also needs to be eliminated from vocabulary. Instead of following the path of these words back into the darkness of secrecy, use them to your advantage. "What if"� by telling your secret you learn to live again? "What if"� people already know you've been silently dying and they love you anyway? "What if"� when you finally free yourself from your past and love the real you your family will be able to love you unconditionally as well? "What if"� your life actually will be better than you could ever imagine once you let the proverbial cat out of the bag?

Remember, too, as you continue the process, to keep journaling in order to keep your mind from getting clouded with negativity.

3. Forgive

Regardless of whether your secret is an addiction, an affair or a little white lie you told in the third grade, you're not the same person now as you were then, and it's time to forgive yourself. You were simply doing the best you knew how to do at the time. Take the lesson you've learned from whatever happened and use it as a strength and a life skill to help others.

If it's a pain which wasn't yours to carry in the first place - a wrong committed by someone else and the pain is still too much to bear - spend some time journaling about life from that person's perspective. While I would never advocate forgiving the action, forgiving the person (including yourself) is the only way to move into the present and find the confidence to heal your life.

4. Reveal

Once you're at the place where your past has been reconciled with your present and you feel strong enough to finally speak to someone other than the person in the mirror, choose someone you know who will have only your best interests at heart. This person needs to be someone who sees you through the eyes of God, who won't try to "one-up"� you by saying, "Oh, please. You think that's bad. What till I tell you what I did!"� Choose someone who can be in the pain with you until it no longer hurts.

Surround yourself only with people who support and love you and will walk through the fire with you until you no longer have any association with your secret. Replace the parts of your mind that were convoluted with thoughts of your secret with scriptures and reminders that because of grace you are loved unconditionally, forgiven forever and cherished beyond imagination.

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1. Tell your teenagers about the first time you had sex

Rather than lecturing them over and over again about how sinful and perilous premarital sex is, explain to your teenagers what it was like for you the first time you "did it."� And then talk to them about anything you'd have done differently if you knew then what you know now. It's no secret that the more you tell your kids not to do something, the more eager they are to find out what's going to happen to them if they do it.

Once your teenagers are given the space to ask questions about sex instead of being told the topic is off limits and they're just not supposed to do it, the mystery is less mysterious. Then, the focus can shift from, "Dude, it's got to be good if they're making such a big deal out of not doing it,"� to, "Wow, this sounds like a beautiful experience I'd like to make sure I share only with the right person."�

2. Talk to your kids about the times you partied

Just like with the sex conversation, dispelling the façade that you were perfect when you were their age is a huge game changer in your relationship with your teenagers. You don't have to think back very far to remember how you saw your parents and imagined they did no wrong back in their day. Your kids only know what you've wanted them to know about you. But, how much more intimate could your relationship be with them if you were to share your secrets with them as a way to help them learn from your mistakes as opposed to the age-old, "Because I said so,"� epic fail?

3. Clue them in that Sunday school for you was just as boring as it is for them

You'll be amazed at the difference in your own perspective once you start opening up to your kids about your growing up years. You may even start to understand your teenagers' behaviors a little more clearly once you begin talking about your own adventures.

The lie society wants you to believe that teenagers don't want to talk to their parents about anything stems from the fact that kids think their parents are going to feed them a line of bull to keep them from knowing they are imperfect. News flash: your kids already know this. They're way smarter than you give them credit for if you honestly believe they don't know you're flawed. Respect your teenagers enough to be open and honest with them and then watch what you'll begin to get in return. It's the law of, "Give what you hope to get,"� and it's always in effect.

By opening the door for your teens to peer into your past and look beyond your role as their parent to see you as a person, you're helping them connect with you on a deeper level and allowing them the privilege of having genuine conversations with the most influential teacher they'll ever have - you! Walls of self-created illusions will be shattered by having these types of awkward conversations with your kids, and the entryway to fostering healthy relationships with them will lead you places you'd only dreamed you'd be able to travel with your teenagers.

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"Where did the time go?"�

"It seems just yesterday he was in kindergarten, and now he's getting ready to graduate in the spring."

If you haven't said any of these words before, you've probably at least heard them escape from the mouth of another mom or dad. It's true time seems to be speeding up, and life is happening faster than ever, but could part of that be because we're so busy being busy we didn't even notice the kids are now in high school?

It happens to the best of us. The good news is it's never too late to start making the most of the time you have left with your kids before their "coop-flying wings" are fully functional. If any of these signs have you saying, "That's ME," adjust accordingly to begin making memories with your family rather than regrets.

1. You work ... a lot

. Has "Sorry, honey, I can't go to your game tonight. I have to work"� become the standard response in your home? While your motives to provide for your family are indeed noble, your actions may very well be teaching your kids money is more important to you than they are. There's no greater job than investing in the lives and the future of your children. Give yourself permission to clock out of work and start clocking in as a present parent at least once a week. Your kids will remember the time you took to be at their big game - or the time you didn't.

2. You volunteer ... a lot

. When a good thing becomes a god thing, it's a bad thing. Again, spending time serving others is noble and needed, but when it takes precedence over quality time with your family you can miss out on a whole lot of childhood. By following the "family first" model of I Timothy 5:8, you'll not only be instilling in your children a healthy family dynamic, you'll be teaching by example the imperative life skill of balancing service within the home with meeting the needs of others beyond your own front door.

3. You're exhausted

Juggling life is overwhelming. Between work, family, school, sports, volunteering and everything else going on, there's rarely any downtime for your or your children. Exhaustion is without question a tool of distraction from what's truly important in life - God and relationships. When you're too worn out to spend any time with your family, your kids will be in college before you know it, and they'll be worn out from overextending themselves, as well. Even Jesus took time out to recharge and rejuvenate. Start now by creating time in your family's schedule for down time. You'll be surprised how much fun you can have together just by resting.

4. You eat on the run ... a lot

. Family dinners around the table are few and far between because you're always rushing from one activity to another. While eating in the car on the way to soccer practice can technically be "family time," there's so much more you can be learning about your kids when you fix and eat your meals together at home. Doing this at least once a week will show your kids you're interested in _them_ as opposed to the things they're doing.

5. You strive for perfectionism - part 1

Trying to "keep up with the Joneses" ensures you'll miss out on nearly all things good about your own children. Life is chaotic enough trying to keep up with our own families let alone having to deal with the Joneses next door. In order to get the most out of the time you have with them, keep your focus on the activities and interests of the kids under your own roof.

6. You strive for perfection - part 2

. Parents are conditioned to believe their kids must be without flaw so as to show the world how wonderful they are at being parents. "Honey, don't put your hands on the walls, OK?"� "Don't play with those trucks like that, son. Trucks are designed to do x, y, z - not a, b, c."� The list goes on and on. Allowing your kids to be kids and express their creativity during play time will help you appreciate and foster their unique qualities, as well as lead you through the doors of awe and wonder to marvel at your own creation.

7. You learn

. Thankfully, it's never too late for a parenting do-over. Start where you are now, and let your children know how much you love and honor them. Actions truly do speak louder than words, and shifting just one thing at a time will be enough to grab their attention, change their attitudes and reset the clock for all of you. No matter how much time has passed or how much of your kids' lives you may have missed up until now, there is plenty of fun to be had and memories to be made with your kids. And the best part? It's these memories that will last for generations because love has the power to overcome any obstacle and love NEVER fails.

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Finally, you're forced to deal with the one topic you've been hoping to avoid. You remember being in high school and what it was like wanting to go to parties, but times have changed and the tables have turned. You're now walking in your parents' shoes and have to make the call between your kids' safety and their social life. You know you can't protect your kids forever, but you also know the potential for disaster a party, with or without drinking, holds. So what do you do?

1. Be real with your kids

If life has gotten so chaotic you haven't had a real conversation with your teenager in months, use this as a springboard to reinvent your relationship. Your time with your young adult at home is limited, so spend the rest of it getting to know him. Find out what he likes, what he doesn't like, what brings him joy and what hurts his heart. Leave no questions about your child unanswered. Paying this kind of attention to your teenager helps build his self-confidence and lessens the chances of him looking to alcohol, drugs, the Internet and the like to fill the void of acknowledgement he craves.

Along with this type of communication comes the opportunity for you to share with him your life experiences. Think about it: your kids have no idea what you went through growing up since their only point of reference of you is you as their parent. Explain to them you understand what it was like to want to go to parties, whether or not you were allowed to go, and how it affected you. Shattering illusions created by non-communication paves the way for trust, respect and understanding to be the foundation of your interactions. With those as your base, major life decisions don't necessarily have to fall on your shoulders alone and can be made by both you and your teenager. It may even eliminate his or her desire to go to the party at all.

2. Gather all the facts before saying no

If you teenager's been invited to a party and you only have her version of what kind of party it is, feel free to call the parents of the host. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having all the information you need to make a decision about whether or not she can go. Again, in the spirit of continually being real with her, let her know why you're making the call. Help her understand it's not to embarrass her but to be fair about your decision.

3. Stay strong in your convictions

If teenage drinking is a value you're not willing to compromise, make sure your son knows exactly why you feel the way you do. "Because I said no,"� is a sure-fire way to get your teen to rebel. Be as open and honest with your son about the dangers and consequences of drinking and remind him it's only because you have his safety and best interests at heart that you feel so strongly about this issue. If he's left to think you're just being mean (or any of the other choice words kids have for their parents these days) and not wanting him to have any fun, you risk shaking the foundation of trust and respect you've worked so hard to build.

Your job as a parent is to teach your children the life skills and integrity they will carry with them into adulthood. Once you've set and made clear the ground rules on the issue of going to parties where there's drinking, the consequences then fall on your teen's shoulders if he decides to go anyway. Otherwise, the consequences are yours since you left the search for understanding up to a teenager who could end up looking in places where no self-control or delayed gratification can be found.

4. Host a party at your house

If your teenager is desperate to have a social life outside of school, offer to have a party at home ... with no alcohol.

5. Be forgiving without judging or condoning

At some point regardless of how open, honest and solid your relationship with your teenager is, there may come a moment when the pressure to drink is too heavy and he caves. Because you've been keeping it real with him, make sure he knows in no way are you condoning or excusing his behavior, but you still love him no matter what. Your desire is to rebuild trust between the two of you, and this experience can be a way to keep communication flowing. Let him know it's safe to share his side of the story and to process the events with you even if you're disappointed. Feel free to talk about ways he feels the situation could have been avoided and can also be in the future. Involving him in his own life while still being able to effectively parent and communicate is one of the greatest life skills you can share with your son.

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Ahhh, the good ol' days. I still remember them well. The days when we had to get up off the couch to change the channel on the TV. The times we always knew where the phone was because it was attached by a cord to its base. And the days we actually had to pick up that phone to talk to someone, or else wait until we saw them the next day at school.

But times they are a-changing. Cell phones brought us T9 texting (I shudder at the thought), and so it began. The world of instantly sending uninhibited thoughts and comments was birthed. Like any living organism, texting took time to get its legs under it, but now look at it go! People text while they drive, while they're in meetings, classes, conversations. Yes, even while they're in the bathroom. And the kicker? It's not just teenagers doing it. While I won't incriminate myself and confess to which of these texting no-nos I'm guilty, I will say my practice of them only reinforces their "OK-ness"� in my kids' eyes when they see it happening. Of course, their peers are "all doing it." But it's up to me - us - as parents to be examples of responsible texting.

Texting has gained extraordinary powers over the years, and when used for good, it is, indeed, priceless. When those same powers distract teens from fostering healthy personal relationships, however, the texting scale becomes weighted on the side of too much. Equalizing the scale with awareness on one side and communication on the other restores balance and focus.

So just how are you to know when your kid's texting has gotten to the point of too much? The gauge is going to be different for each family, but here are some of the most common signs that texting is interfering with healthy relationships.

1. The text and talk

Nothing says "rude" more than your child texting during a face-to-face conversation he's having with someone. It's non-verbally telling the person in front of him they're far less valued than the texter, and what they have to say is unimportant. By helping your teen get in the habit of keeping his phone off or in his pocket during dinner or any other time he's with real people, you're helping him practice focus, respect and delayed gratification; life skills he'll need for work, marriage (when he's 60), parenting (when he's 80) and even play. This is a great opportunity for you to teach your son the power of being a present, independent thinker, yet team player by honing his up-close and personal relationship practices.

2. The classroom text

While this "too much" doesn't require much explanation, it does need to be addressed with your teenager. Rather than wait until it becomes an issue for her teacher and her grades, set up boundaries with your daughter about texting in class. Explain to her the teacher's perspective as well as the other students' and allow her to fully grasp in her own way how texting during class can be distracting and disrespectful - not to mention detrimental to her GPA.

3. The text and drive

This very well could be the ultimate example of too much texting for anyone with a license. Not only is it illegal, it's dangerous and irresponsible. We've all heard and dismissed the no-texting campaigns with "It won't ever happen to me," but when we get real with ourselves and our teens, is there really anything so important it can't wait until the car is in park and the keys are out of the ignition? Is a text really worth a ticket, a totaled car or a life?

4. The text and shop

If your teenager can't walk from the car to the entrance of Target without sending a text, this might be a sign of "too much." Of course, nothing says "too much" like the kid on his phone camped in the middle of the main drag blocking traffic in both directions, turning a "quick trip" into a 30-minute shopping ordeal. The solution? Pre-plan your outing. If you're shopping for something for your son, remind him his phone stays in his pocket or the car. If he's only there because he was forced to come with you, get done what you need to do while having him stay aware of his surroundings and meeting up with you at the check-out once you're finished.

5. The Personality Change

Because you've been nurturing your relationship with your teens since reading 3 Ways to Get Results with your Kids without the Frustration, you'll be in tune with how she operates, and when her behaviors start to shift. If she's starting to distance herself from you and spending more time alone or on her phone regardless of time or place, that's a good indication it's time to check yourself, as well. Allowing your teen unlimited and unsupervised phone time sets the stage for non-verbal miscommunications potentially leading to bullying, sexting, self-harm and other cries for attention. Maintaining face-to-face interaction with your teen is imperative to her livelihood and development of healthy social skills. Studies continually prove too much texting leads to emotional imbalances and lack of coping skills.

The good news, however, is that texting is an issue that's easily remedied with attention and understanding through effective communication. Speaking your truth with love and respect affords your teenagers the same platform, helps bring into focus what truly matters to you both and cultivates middle ground for the peace, balance and acknowledgement of each of your desires.

The post IMHO and FWIW: 5 signs your teen is texting too much appeared first on FamilyToday.