The phrase "Better a man should be considered a fool than to open his mouth and remove all doubt" was probably referencing an extrovert from an introvert's point of view.

If you have ever been offended by someone at church, it was most likely from an extrovert. Not intentional, just lacking that 'think before you speak' talent. (Unless it was from an introvert, then you can be sure it was well thought-out and intentional.)

We've all heard the idea that we should think before we speak. Introverts actually do.

As Marti Olsen Laney says in her book The Introvert Advantage, there is a longer neural pathway for stimuli processing for introverts. They have a more complicated path through long term memory and planning to process interactions and events. Introverts simultaneously are carefully attending to their internal thoughts and feelings while they process information.

An introvert may appear avoidant, or shy, while they are really just thinking before they speak. They process their thoughts internally. Extroverts have a difficult time thinking before they speak as they actually process their thoughts externally.

Introverts will share their ideas, but they have been formed and reached the desired shape first.

Knowing that we are wired differently can ease the discomfort of interacting with one another. Here are a few things to keep in mind when striving for a better experience at church.

1. Build on commonalities

Rather than finding the differences between people and causing separations, let's focus on what we have in common and build on that.

In Psychology Today, Laurie Helgoe, PhD states that extroverts and introverts both report mood boosts from the company of others.

It is also noteworthy that the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality test administered to two randomized national samples found that introverts make up 50 percent of the U.S. population. If you feel like you don't fit in, it's probably not as bad as it seems. It just looks like there are more extroverts because they make more noise.

Remember that we are all human and we attend church for the same purpose, ultimately to get closer to God: to learn more of His ways and to find His blessings.

Church, whatever variety you follow, should be considered pure and true while being run by mere humans who are by nature flawed and in need of attending church.

2. Realize you are needed and have many gifts and talents to share

Each personality type has pros and cons. Each should benefit from the other. We are made different on purpose to complement each other. As the body - head, neck, arms, and so forth complement each other. When each part works together the whole can progress.

Because introverts take more time to process information, they have better thought out ideas. It's often not noticed because the extroverts are already done having the conversation. Go ahead and feel free to contribute to the conversation, even if the extroverts think it is finished. Re-visit it with confidence knowing that you have something valuable to share. Then be prepared for the action the extroverts will take, knowing that they must speak to process the information. Try not to take offense as they try to sort out their thoughts.

3. Take care of yourself

When you need a break give it to yourself. You deserve it. Everyone, introvert or extrovert, would benefit from paying attention to their personal needs. Just like young children get grumpy when they are tired or hungry, introverts need to take a break to recharge after a while.

Don't feel pressured to overdo it. You don't need to impress them as much as they think you do.

Studies of psychologist Hans Eysenck show that introverts require less stimulation from the world when compared with extroverts and are more easily overstimulated. Introverts process everything in their surroundings, which can contribute to the false idea that they are not paying attention to people. This can make an introvert feel compelled to act more extroverted.

Laurie Helgoe, PhD shares that introverts who acted like extroverts showed slower reaction times on cognitive tests than those allowed to be introverted. This is evidence that "acting counter-dispositionally is depleting."

Because of the natural tendencies of introverts, anxiety and depression are more common for them according to Robert McPeek, director of research at the Center for Applications of Psychological Type.

4. Tell them

Be honest with yourself and with the people around you. Tell them when you are getting worn out or need a break. Tell them that you are thinking about the right way to answer the question, or thinking of an idea.

Let them participate with you in conversation by helping them know that you are thinking and that you will have something to say sometime in the future. That way they will be looking forward to hearing from you instead of annoyed that you started the conversation over. This will help them know that you are involved and not ignoring them.

5. Be confident in who you are and why you're there

It's not for them. You are there for you. As you become closer to God, you will feel His love more and it will fill you up to the point that eventually you will have a spill-over of love for the people around you. When you are so full of love there will not be room for anything else.

"For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind!"— 2 Timothy 1:7.

A sound mind is what we search for by attending church that is more natural for introverts. It is expressed again in Philippians 4:8 (King James Version):

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

We should all strive to be a little more introverted. Thinking more, especially while at church, would be of great benefit. It's how we internalize what is being taught there. Becoming more introverted is one of the reasons for attending church. It's how we become more of what God wants us to be.

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Whether fear is from God, He can use all things for His good. God wants us, as his children, to be successful. It is when we choose to allow fear to stop our progress that we allow the opposition to win. God can use fear for good if we choose His path.

Fear is a word that is very similar to the word love, in that they each have multiple meanings. Love is a feeling, an action and a noun. Fear also has many meanings. In The Bible there are two definitions for the word fear; fear of the world and man, or fear of the Lord.

Here are 10 reasons why God wants us to be afraid.

1. Fear leads to safety

The fight or flight system in the human race has kept us alive for centuries. Fear and anxiety keep us from being too stupid, like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute or running away from a growling grizzly bear instead of toward it. Sometimes God desires us to fear in order to make better, smarter choices.

2. Fear leads to respect

Fear as it is spoken of in the Bible refers to a reverence and respect for God. This can be compared to a young child fearing an authority figure or father. When Dad says don't do that, the child ideally listens. What we really fear is the judgement, not the father.

3. Fear can be a positive motivator

If we fear a particular situation or outcome we are motivated to take action to avoid it. I fear what would happen if I didn't pay the bills, so it motivates me to work. I fear what might happen if I never exercise, so I am motivated to do so. In a similar manner, I fear what would happen if I did not show respect for and worship God. This fear motivates me to pay more attention to my choices.

4. Fear can be a signal that you are doing the right thing

Choices can be challenging, especially when we are working to achieve a goal. Difficult choices are almost always accompanied by fear. The opposition never wants us to succeed. We may recognize that every time we attempt to do something out of our comfort zone, we are scared. Every time anyone tries to step up to the next level of success, there is fear. It can be a sign of progress. If we are always afraid of what the world will think of us for following our heart, we can be assured that our heart is speaking a truth to our soul.

5. Fear can make weak things strong

As we practice what scares us, we can overcome those challenges. Public speaking, for example, can be scary. But with practice, those apprehensions can be overcome. Therapists use this desensitization technique to help people overcome phobias.

6. Fear creates courage and strength

When we face fear, we gain courage. Courage is doing what is right, in spite of fear. There is no courage if there is no fear.

7. Fear keeps you alert and gives you energy

A bit of anxiety helps our system pump adrenaline and makes us pay more attention to our surroundings and situations. When we dwell on stress and fear rather than moving through those things, the devilish fear is the kind that keeps us stuck.

8. Fear causes reliance on the Lord

The best way to get un-stuck from unbearable fear is to ask for help. God hopes that we turn to Him and rely on His word to keep us safe.

9. Fear leads to knowledge

Proverbs 1:7 declares, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. ... "

Psalms 111:10 says, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever." As we learn to rely on the Lord and trust His guidance, we will gain knowledge.

10. We experience fear because God loves us

In his article, "Fearing God" in "Christianity Today," William D. Eisenhower said, "Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but love from the Lord is its completion."

Fear accompanies the expectation of punishment. Love casts fear and doubt away. To cast fear away there must be faith and a measure of trust. Exercising faith leads to confidence in His love and knowledge. When we have knowledge we have less fear because what we fear most is the unknown. When we trust in God He will bring all things to our knowledge because He loves us. Going through the process of eliminating fear makes us appreciate what we have.

We worry about how the world sees us. We fear that we might get embarrassed or shamed by our peers. The reason we should fear God is that His opinion is much more important than the world's opinion of us. He loves us and offers opportunities for growth. He encourages us to rely on Him. Fear reminds us that we need more than our own abilities to make it through this world.

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"We can't afford it."

Money problems are among the top reasons cited for divorce. Saying "We can't afford it" makes people feel insecure, or undervalued, overworked and underpaid.

Feeling like there is not enough can be remedied to a degree by talking about it in a friendly way to clarify what your goals and priorities are as a couple. When you have different priorities, it is easy to feel as though there is not enough money to go around because you are trying to make two plans work instead of one, which would likely take twice as much money and energy.

Dave Ramsey has said, "If we can agree on the checkbook, there would be nothing left to fight about except who gets the remote."

"We don't have time."

We can always find time for what is really important to us. Place value on your own time, and assign a value to your relationships. My favorite hints for making more time are, only check email and social accounts twice a day for a limit of five or ten minutes each time, and delegate. Delegate. Delegate.

Make weekly dates a priority. Dates do not need to be expensive. Some ideas are going to a park, have a picnic, take a card game, board game, read a book together, write down a dream vacation and start dreaming together. The purpose of a date is to get out and just be together.

"I don't know how."

Scientists say if you spend an hour a day studying something for 5 years, you will be an expert. The Internet is amazing! Anyone can learn anything, anywhere, anytime. Don't wallow in misery over whatever you see yourself lacking. Find a way to fix it and go for it. Your local librarian will be happy to assist you if you need guidance.

"It's not fair."

The game of life is not fair. Someone is always on the losing end. Games are always more fun when the team works together. Comparing and saying things are unfair is not good teamwork. No two people are the same. We all have unique abilities, insights and talents. If we consider life a game, then marriage should be the base of your team. Play to your strengths and appreciate others for the strengths they bring to the game.

Babe Ruth said, "The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don't play together, the club won't be worth a dime."

"It's not my fault."

Blaming creates walls. The wall of blame is a divisive beast that distances us from the people we love. These walls eventually get so thick they block our ability to see through them. It challenges our ability to recognize our loved ones and remember that we love them. Blame tears people down. A good team member will try all they can to build their star players up.

It doesn't need to be anyone's fault. Accept the situation and find a way to deal with it, together.

Motivational speaker Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, "We are not perfect. The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint and anger. In this mortal life, it will always be that way. Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord's way. Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And, they forgive."

"I deserve this."

Use caution in stating what you deserve. It is defensive and can be confrontational. There is a simple fix to keep this phrase from being divisive while still allowing yourself the feeling of pride that you deserve stuff. (Cause let's face it, you do deserve it.)

Try saying WE deserve this. We deserve to be happy, to have a better life, to achieve our goals together. Switching the 'I' for 'we' is one way to build your star player's confidence. Show your spouse that you believe they deserve it, too.

"I don't feel like it."

The Law of Inertia states bodies in motion stay in motion. Bodies at rest stay at rest until acted upon by another force. If you don't feel like it, you may never feel like it unless you are acted upon by another force (a grumpy spouse, perhaps). This is a good place to use the "fake it till you make it" theory, which states that you can pretend until the rest of you agrees with your actions. Pretend long enough, and it will not become real.

"I can't." Or "They can't."

Miracles happen. Expect miracles. The ability to communicate effectively can be considered a miracle and might be the one you need. Open the communication lines, and ask your spouse if he or she wants to build something together. Visualize your miracle happening and, given time, it will.

"They'll never understand."

Needing someone to understand is one of the biggest misunderstandings out there. They don't have to understand. Some things can't be understood by anyone. You each have your own past, your own story. Let them be sympathetic and leave the past in the past. Build something new together. Be connected in something for the both of you, and allow each other to have your own history.

Henry Ford said, "Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success."

No one ever tries to neglect a marriage. The only way to prevent neglecting it is to work really hard at trying not to.

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Daydreaming has been called many things. Mind wandering, having your head in the clouds, and simply not paying attention are a few. My preferred definition for daydreaming is developing imagination.

According to Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, adjunct associate professor of psychology at New York University, "As much as 50% of daily cognition is spent on spontaneous cognition - basically daydreaming or mind wandering."

When we let our mind wander, we tend to drift to similar topics related to unfinished business, goals that we want to accomplish or regret not completing, relationships that wait for repairing or relationships waiting for development. How we accomplish goals is directly affected by the amount of daydreaming we allow and practice. If your goal is to have a child that is happy, successful and has great relationships in their world, then you need to encourage daydreaming and developing imagination. The stronger the imagination is, the stronger the sense of creativity and productivity are and the more easily it is to relate to others.

Resolve goals

Children need to practice and be encouraged to daydream. As the brain develops from infancy, the neuropathways and synapses are abundant. Infants are born with infinite possibilities. As they grow, the unused pathways are "pruned" and the repeated pathways are strengthened like a frequented hiking trail in the mountains. As the path is not used it becomes more difficult to find.

As creativity and imagination are practiced, the mind is opened to consider the possibilities, be positive, hopeful and wishful. All of these are ingredients of success.

Daydreaming turns thoughts inward to have a better understanding of self and how we relate to the world. It is a form of inward reflection and creation. Studies show a common habit of highly successful people is that they take time to reflect on their goals and are more apt to see a negative situation as an opportunity. In other words, they spend time daydreaming.

Creativity and productivity increase

Imagination is the building block of intellectual and creative brain development. There is a reason playing comes so naturally to children. It is because that is how the brain naturally develops and grows.

Einstein described the way his scientific thought process worked as though he would take an image in his mind and imagine, play around with it. He would look at it from different angles and manipulate it, breaking apart and combining parts. He let his mind wander around the idea.

In order to think creatively, mathematically, scientifically, artistically, there must be an ability to look at an idea from many angles and manipulate the idea.

Inspiration only comes from letting your mind wander. It never comes from just doing what you are told precisely right.

Albert Einstein also said, "I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."

Google is one company that has latched onto this idea. They allow their employees 20 percent of their time to work on any project they desire to with the belief that this will capture the wandering mind and place the attention in a positive, productive place. This is referred to as positive constructive daydreaming.

Ability to relate to others and imagine being in their shoes

Most people won't have to think very long to come up with an example of someone's inability to understand them, or a challenging relationship that would be much easier if someone could imagine being in someone else's shoes. Understanding others takes imagination. Trying to see something from another person's point of view takes practice.

Empathy is one of the top competencies for leadership. Managers with higher levels and ability to empathize with their employees are more successful.

How to encourage imagination

Ideas occur when the brain is in a relaxed state. Many people talk about getting their ideas in the middle of the night or while taking a shower. Provide time for relaxation. Mindfulness and meditation have shown many benefits. Watching a movie or reading a book can have similar effects. Read with your children. Schedule some official downtime where there are no electronic devices allowed for an hour. Experience nature through a walk, blowing bubbles outside, or drawing with sidewalk chalk. Write something. Decorate something. Dance.

When you are waiting in line with your young one ask them to, "Tell me about that" so they can explore their ability to describe their world and their understanding. This is a way to demonstrate imagination. Another good game to play is "How Many Uses" where you offer an object, perhaps a paper clip or paper bag. Any object will do. Then you see how many different ways that object could be used. For example, a book could be used to read, or as a building block, a sun shade, or a very heavy fan on a hot day.

Benefits of Daydreaming Are Endless

This article discusses three reasons daydreaming should be encouraged. If you need more convincing consider a few more benefits of developing imagination. Daydreaming increases self-esteem, contributes to developing positive relationships, and improves mental health. Strong imagination skills increase the level of engagement in learning and proper expression of emotions, language development skills, and memory and recall abilities. Imagination plays a role in defining personalities and personal characteristics. We are defined by what we let our mind wander to.

Without the ability to daydream there is no personal meaning of our environment. The capacity for personal reflection, including identity development and goal attainment, are decreased. It would limit attention.

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What is devotion?

When you hear the word "devoted," we sometimes think committed, converted, whole-hearted, loyal or sure. Not all devoted people, however, have sure knowledge.

One example is Mother Theresa. She explained some doubts she had in letters that were revealed and published in 2007. These doubts, however, never stopped her attempts to be a better person or make the world a better place. She was the model of devotion, despite her doubts. She kept trying to find the answers to her doubts, and realized that where there is struggle, there is strength.

Doubt in its simplest form is to seek more understanding. Doubt is cautious, careful, not rushing into something blindly. Doubt, like faith, is a way to learn.

According to religious leader Dieter F. Uchtdorf, doubt is a precursor of growth. He said, "Inquiry is the birthplace of testimony. Some might feel embarrassed or unworthy because they have searching questions regarding [faith], but they needn't feel that way. Asking questions isn't a sign of weakness. It's a precursor of growth."

Scripture passages tell us that we should be as little children to enter the kingdom of God. So, let's imagine that we are all little children being taught by God.

How do we learn?

When we teach children how to accomplish a goal that we want them to achieve, there will be a few kids that will say, "OK, I will just stand here like you asked me to." But for most of us, we were the kids asking why. Why is the sky blue, why does it rain, and why do I have to do what you ask me to? Every one of us has been, and will be, more obedient to following instructions if we understand why. Of course, following directions is always more interesting if we will get a reward in the end.

Doubting is like needing to understand why, and the reward at the end is like gaining faith.

In this scenario as God's children, He will teach us a little at a time based on our many personal variables that contribute to our ability to understand.

By small and simple things great things are brought to pass. We build knowledge one step at a time, and doubt is part of that discovery process.

Often I've taught a child who has said, "Yeah, but what about "¦ ?" and I know they are trying to comprehend the deeper meaning of the lesson. More often than not I will learn in that moment, that they are further along the path than I thought and sometimes, I will understand things deeper myself from an angle I had not considered before. Doubt helps those around us grow in understanding.

What if I have doubt?

Faith is not a perfect knowledge — there is room for doubt to explore what the truth is. Doubt and faith must work together to receive knowledge.

The Bible tells of "Doubting Thomas." (See John 20:24-29) Thomas walked with Jesus, as one of his apostles, witnessing miracles daily, knowing who his master was. The other Apostles all saw the resurrected Jesus, felt His hands, the wound in His side, all of the evidence that he was the resurrected Messiah. When Thomas hears of their experiences, he doubts. It is hard to believe — perhaps he doubts his personal worthiness since he did not experience it with the other men. He doubts.

Eight days later Jesus returned and told Thomas, " "¦ be not faithless, but believing." Thomas was offered to feel the prints in Jesus' hands and all the evidence as well. He gained the knowledge he was seeking. Jesus praised the others who had faith without seeing, but he did not chastise Thomas.

When we work for something, it has more value to us. We cherish it more. We treasure it more. When faith is hard to come by, it is of great worth to the receiver of that faith. I imagine Thomas going through those eight days with a personal inner struggle wishing he could have been there with the other men when Jesus had first visited.

Doubt vs. defiance and pride

Doubt does not need to be prideful. Doubt can be frustrating and can develop into defiant pride. Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith. The seeds of doubt can spread faster than running water if you let them. Find what you do know and feed that. What you feed will grow.

Faith is also like a seed. When nurtured it will grow. No matter how very small your faith may be, if you are seeking answers, you do in fact have faith.

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When we hold our tongue

Have you ever wondered why your miracle didn't arrive yesterday? Just why would a loving, caring God not shower everything I want on me before I ask for it? (Matthew 6:8: "For your father knoweth what things ye have need of before ye ask him.")

Where much is given much is required. If we are given everything without asking, we may not be ready for it. Like a child expected to run before he has learned to walk, the expectations would cause us to stumble. It will be beyond our comprehension or ability to control the consequences of receiving before we are ready to formulate a verbal request. We would be held accountable for more than is fair for our understating.

God will not force us to be happy. We are here to prove ourselves, to learn and grow. It's true that God loves all His children and wants to provide for their every need. True also that His grace is sufficient. But, there is a power given to the voiced prayer that is beyond what is available in a prayer of the heart. Like many of the outward symbols of inner faith, such as the Jewish kipa, Hindu bindi, or the Christian cross, a voiced prayer is an outward showing of an inner commitment.

When we trust that the Lord has all knowledge of our situations, and then we pray about it, He will give us more knowledge about it.

What's in a conversation?

In a conversation, there are two parts with at least two participants. A listener and a speaker. Prayer is a conversation with God. Even though He already knows what we are thinking, we can filter what we choose to say. This is a base for overcoming the natural man. (See Mosiah 3:19) We may think many more things than what we would want to be known. When we resist the outward expression of the thoughts we have, we are gaining control over our natural state as earthly humans. We are gaining our ultimate goal of becoming what God would have us become.

It is easier to accomplish the proper feelings of reverence and humility needed to communicate with God if you kneel and use your voice. If we want to have a close relationship with God, it will take some effort on our part. If we want miracles to happen in our midst, we can speak and use the extra effort to sort out which miracle we really want.

Asking is a demonstration of our faith that we will be given an answer to our prayer. It is represented in the Bible as knocking on a door and letting God open it. In Matthew 7:7 it reads, "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you." Similar statements are repeated in Luke 11:9 and Revelations 3:20, supporting the importance of voicing our prayers.

The value of speaking our mind

As we speak and filter what actually gets voiced, our thoughts become clear to us. We are able to sort through the millions of unorganized morsels and define the nugget that truly is meaningful. Speaking our thoughts helps us become more aware of what we want, and as we communicate with God he will return the favor. As we use our voice, He will use His, and we will be able to recognize His hand in our lives, guidance, inspiration, even personal revelation. Speaking a conversation brings our attention to what we are doing and helps to eliminate distractions. The times we need to hear His voice and connect with God may not be in quiet or calm moments, requiring a prayer of the heart. But as we practice voicing our prayers when we can, it will be easier to connect when there is not an option to use our voice.

When we speak

Air that goes through our voice box and vibrates the cords to speak is energy. When we speak, we move energy. It takes a certain amount of effort. Movement of energy is the beginning of creation. It is the first step in creating miracles. There are many forms of prayer including meditation, which is often accompanied by using the voice because of the movement of energy. It clears out the lungs, and when we have more oxygen in our system we are able to think more clearly. Deciphering what the answers to our prayers become easier.

The Bible is full of stories depicting miracles following a time when the people's "prayers were heard." One example is Mordecai and his community who were ridiculed, mocked, and had laws made against them all because they voiced their prayers. Queen Esther was made a hero to her people for her bravery in defending the need to pray aloud. It is vitally important that we voice our prayers.

The enemy to all happiness seeks to silence the voices of the righteous because all that needs to happen for evil to win is for good to be quiet.

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