When you're in love, your brain is filled with hormones that create feelings of happiness and contentment. That's why it feels so good to be in love and why it hurts so much when love dies. Love produces natural feel good hormones in your brain such as dopamine and oxytocin. So when you experience a heartbreak, it affects more than just your heart. Here's what happens to your brain during a breakup:

Your stress levels rise

When your special guy leaves you, those natural chemicals that used to make you feel so good go into steep decline, filling you with stress hormones such as cortisol and epinephrine. Those stress hormones are designed to pump you up for short emergency situations, but too much of them over a long term can leave you with headaches, stomach aches and even a compromised immune system. The brain and body connection is real, so breakups hurt your brain just as much as they shatter your heart.

Your brain feels fuzzy and your heart feels broken

You may have noticed that ever since the two of you went your separate ways, you have a sick feeling in your stomach, fuzziness in your head and your heart might feel as though it's actually been broken. There is such a thing as broken-heart syndrome. During broken-heart syndrome the muscular part of your heart temporarily weakens, which can be triggered by emotional stress.

Your own brain's pattern kicks in

How someone reacts to a breakup is also dictated by how their brain normally reacts to stress, according to Laura Miller, M.D., director of women's mental health at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston. In other words, if you are prone to a particularly sensitive stomach, your reaction to breakups might be appetite loss, diarrhea or stomach cramps.

What can you do while you're waiting to get over a breakup?

Here's the good news: The pain won't last forever, even though it seems like it might at the time. A Saint Louis University research review article suggests people are hardwired to fall out of love and move on to new romantic relationships. Here's how you can help yourself take the next step to overcome your breakup:

1. Talk it out

While what you really want to do is simply go to bed for a week and pull the covers over your head, isolating will only make matters worse. Talk to empathetic friends, family members or a therapist. The talking cure works really well over time. Writing about how you feel helps, too.

2. Get back into what you enjoy most or try something new

If what you used to enjoy most reminds you of your ex, try something new. Take a drawing or yoga class. Learn deep breathing techniques to reduce stress, or just go do something fun with friends. Doing something you enjoy helps restimualte those feel good hormones in your brain.

3. Do aerobic exercise

Swim, walk or ride your bike. Physical activity helps your brain feel better and reduces stress. Binging on late night brownies might feel good for an hour, but it will only increase your fatigue level.

4. Enjoy the performing arts

According to the Washington Post, we feel connected to something larger than ourselves when we experience art. Whether it's a night at the theatre or the ballet, being part of an audience triggers our brain in positive ways. Your brain has the opportunity to share emotions with others, and you discover meaning within the story being portrayed.

5. Be patient with yourself

Separating from someone you love triggers normal grief reactions such as anger and sadness. The grieving process takes time and will be done at your own speed. For some, this kind of grief can even morph into depression. Don't hesitate to seek professional help if you need it.

Your brain hurts when you lose someone you care about, so take things one day at a time. You'll get over him eventually and find someone new who will treat you with love and respect.

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Not everyone shows love in the same way. Our dissatisfaction with relationships or our belief that he is not meeting our needs is not about how he actually responds to us. It's how we expect him to respond. Letting go of disappointment or unmet expectations is essential to the success of any relationship built to last.

Counselor William Berry says, "Marital arguments may stem from lack of consistency with each other's expectations. One partner wants something handled one way. The other disagrees, either outwardly, or by not altering her behavior. Arguments escalate or avoidance occurs."

Love that survives and thrives is about letting go of expectations and judgments. Learn to accept her for who she is, not who you wish she would be. Don't go into the relationship with the idea that you can change him. You can't.

Letting go of unmet expectations is more difficult than it sounds. Below are six things that will help you learn to let go.

1. Don't jump to conclusions

Give your sweetheart the benefit of the doubt when they do something you don't agree with. Don't assume you have all the facts and make sure you check your assumptions. Avoid shooting first and asking questions later.

2. Don't take things too personally

It's not always about you. In fact, it's rarely about you. People get distracted, busy with their own lives or perhaps just self-absorbed. This has nothing to do with who you are as a person and should not decide your self-worth. Resist taking their behavior personally.

3. Let go of what you can't control

We may believe that being in control of situations brings us comfort and security. While this is true to some extent, there is so much that we simply can't control, such as the behavior of others. Wanting control and not getting it can generate intense anger. Learn to let go.

4. Be open to new ideas and don't be afraid to fail

Perhaps the best way to experience positive change in our lives is being open to new ideas. Be flexible. Have an open mind. Don't be afraid of making a mistake. Henry Ford was right when he said, "Failure is the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." If what you're doing isn't working, reboot.

4. Explore solutions together

You might look for one outcome, while he might look for another. Brainstorm options together. Trust each other. Come up with a plan you can both live with.

5. Believe that things will work out

Holding on to past problems robs you of the opportunity to make things better moving forward. Avoid worry and pessimism. They are not your friends. Martin Luther King Jr. put it this way: "We must have the faith that things will work out somehow, that God will make a way for us when there seems no way."

6. Help each other without expecting anything in return

Give unconditionally. "If expecting something in return is your reason for giving, you are not really giving, you're swapping," says David Cottrell. People can see the swap coming from a mile away, and it does not feel genuine.

Letting go of unmet expectations and disappointment will set you free. Change your perspective of what needs to happen in your relationship. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Let go of the past and embrace the future. Accept the things you cannot change.

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God created us to live with and love those we cherish. Our relationships with those we care most about bring us an almost immeasurable sense of joy when they work well, and a sense of despair when they don't.

Broken hearts hurt. Mark Leary, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke has this to say: "We're motivated to maintain good relationships and try to repair them when problems arise, because breakups and rejections hurt". In fact, an article in USA Today reports how heartbreak can cause physical pain as well as emotional pain.

With all this suffering, finding ways to heal your heart can prove elusive. What counsel from the Bible does God want you to remember when your heart is breaking?

1. You are never alone in your sadness

God cares about you personally and he has not left you alone. In Matthew 28:20 we read, "And lo, I am with you always." Always. God is with us through it all. And not only is he there for us always, he is there to comfort us; John 14:18 reads "I will not leave you comfortless. I will come to you."

2. Pour out your heart and soul in prayer

Jeremiah 29:12 tells us how we should react during hardships: "Then shall you call upon me, and you shall go and pray unto me, and I will hear you. And you shall seek me, and find me, when you shall search for me with all your heart."

3. Reach out to others who love you

In times of heartbreak, how do you know who truly loves you? Corinthians chapter 13 tells us that real love is patient and kind. Real love is not self-serving. Those who truly love you are not easily angered and do not act out of jealousy or envy. Rather, they have your best interests at heart. Find those who really love you and reach out to them.

4. Don't get discouraged when love throws you a curveball

Learn and grow from your experience. Make adjustments to your plans and recalculate your bearings when love goes awry. Don't waste time agonizing over things you can't change. In Deuteronomy 1:21, the Lord tells us "to fear not, neither be discouraged". Instead of being discouraged, we need to be hopeful and not fear. God is with us.

5. Let it go

Don't harbor rejection. Forgive those who have wronged you, whether or not you think they deserve it. Luke 6:37 counsels: "Be merciful, don't judge or condemn others. Forgive that you may be forgiven". Lend mercy to those who have hurt you - At some point in your life, you'll need the same thing.

6. Cultivate a grateful heart

Ephesians 5:20 tells us to "Give thanks always, for all things, to God". Don't be so worried about winter coming that you fail to notice the brilliant reds, oranges and yellow colors of fall. Nothing brightens our spirits like a daily dose of gratitude.

7. Choose joy

The word "joy" appears 165 times in the KJV of the Bible. Clearly the Lord wants us to have joy in this life; not self-serving happiness, but joy. Galatians 5:22 reads; "But the fruit of the Spirit is joy." Even when your heart is breaking, choose joy.

Reach out and seek God when your heart is broken, and he will heal you. While a broken heart seems as if it will last forever, it won't. Give it time. Psalm 20:5 tells us how "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning".

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Our little babies turn to us with adoring eyes and broad smiles. We rock them to sleep while singing a quiet lullaby. We delight as they find their shadows, take their first toddling steps and learn to call us mama.

Around the age of two, our children start to separate from us. Our little bundle of joy learns the word "no" and uses it with increasing frequency. She wants to choose her own clothes. He turns up his nose at the broccoli on his plate. Our children learn to assert their independence. While their growing independence is our ultimate goal, it doesn't make it any easier when it happens.

Dr. James Dobson, Ph.D has this to say about a child's growing independence: "Begin releasing your children during the preschool years, granting independence that is consistent with their age and maturity. When a child can tie his shoes, let him- yes, require him - to do it. When he can choose his own clothes within reason, let him make his own selection. When he can walk safely to school, allow him the privilege. Each year, more responsibility and freedom (they are companions) are given to the child so that the final release in early adulthood is merely the final relaxation of authority." If only it were that easy.

3 things you can do to build a lasting relationship with your children before they leave home

1. Practice love and acceptance

Children need the love and acceptance of their parents at every age. Children see themselves through the eyes of their parents. The reflection of what they see there should allow them to feel safe, secure and loved for who they are.

2. Establish family traditions

While our children are still young, we can establish family traditions that the whole family can look forward to enjoying together. Establish traditions such as a Christmas count down calendar, cooking crepes for breakfast Thanksgiving morning, or a family vacation each summer. Share family histories with your children and talk about your family values. Traditions help provide a source of identity for your unique family.

3. Remember that your goal is your child's growing independence

The French essayist Montaigne commented that a parent's love for her child is very different than a child's love for her parent. Help your children learn to spread their wings and fly. Build their confidence as they engage in new activities and help them to begin to separate from you.

When your baby finally does outgrow you

One day our last child will leave home and we join the ranks of the empty nesters. Our children may still need us to provide them with money, advice or a place to do their laundry; but then one bright day, our adult children marry and have families of their own. Our children get busier and busier (just as we did at their age) while we may find ourselves with more free time. Now what?

6 things you can do to maintain a solid relationship with your adult children

1. Respect their marriage and growing family

The most important relationship your child has now is their relationship with their spouse and children. Don't try to be the center of your children's lives. They have a new center now. Live on the edge of their lives and take things as they come to you.

2. Remember that independence is not the same as a lack of interest

Most adult children love their parents and want to maintain the good relationship you already established with them as children. At the same time, they also want to feel like independent adults. It's a difficult balance, but it is doable.

3. Listen to them and respect their opinions

It's no longer appropriate to give your adult children advice or to tell them what to do if they don't ask. When they do ask for advice, make sure they know they don't have to take it. Listen more than you talk and bite your tongue: Be a light, not a judge.

4. Remember that the only person you can change is you

This is a time of life for both generations to learn to accept each other. Don't try to change your adult children; rather, spend time enjoying them. Be careful not to set up unrealistic expectations of what you think your relationship with your adult children should look like. Unmet expectations create problems for everyone.

5. Find new interests and passions of your own

As we age and eventually retire from jobs and being full-time moms, our identity shifts. We need to keep growing and evolving, finding new interests and passions.

6. Create a loving legacy

Being grandparents gives us the chance to do things better than we did with our own children. We have more time now and more patience. Grandparents and grandchildren can spend time together. Loving grandparents can leave a lasting legacy for the next generation.

It's difficult to see your baby grow up, but it's an unavoidable part of life. Embracing the change will make it easier to appreciate the person your child is growing up to be.

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Did you know volunteering to help others may actually help you more than those you serve?

A new study led by Dr. Suzanne Richards from the University of Exeter Medical School reviewed 40 studies from the last 20 years on the connection between volunteering and health. The study concludes "volunteering is associated with lower depression, increased well-being, and a 22% reduction in the later risk of dying."

Comforting others brings powerful benefits

Lower rates of depression, increased well-being and a lower risk of dying are powerful motivators for reaching out to others in need.

While helping ourselves is clearly not the right motive for helping those who are grieving, hungry, fearful or simply lonely, Richard's study does give a kind of modern credence to Jesus' admonition to comfort those who are struggling and down.

Helping others brings feelings of peace and reduced stress

Henry Eyring, philanthropist and author, advocates that we exercise our feelings of compassion and love toward others. He assures that as we serve others, we will find peace in our own lives.

In fact, a 2015 study on stress found that those who performed daily acts of kindness were less likely to feel stressed. On days when they didn't do anything to help anybody, they experienced both more stress and more negativity.

Small acts of kindness make our communities better

Small acts of kindness can range from helping a new family move into your neighborhood to taking a meal to a mom who just had a baby to simply holding the door open for someone whose arms are full.

Simple gestures of thoughtfulness can go a long way within our communities, making them better places for all of us to live.

Volunteering leads to reduced drug use and school dropout rates

In yet another article, by U.S. News and World Reports, titled "Why Helping Others Makes us Happy," the authors point to benefits for both teens and older adults who help others.

Jane Allyn, a retired University of Wisconsin sociologist, indicates that there is a positive effect on grades, self concept and attitudes toward education for teens who help others. Allyn also found volunteering led to reduced drug use, school dropout rates and even teen pregnancies.

The benefits from volunteering increase with age. Experts discovered that folks older than 60 may benefit more from volunteer work, not less, than their younger counterparts. Part of that benefit may be due to the increased social connection from engaging in volunteer activities.

As you can see, love never fails. Acts of love, as it turns out, benefit both the giver and the receiver.

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Anyone who has ever parented teens will tell you it's not easy. Stuart Goldman, MD, Director of psychiatric education at Children's Hospital in Boston observes, "Adolescence is a time of rapid change for kids both physically and cognitively. It's the task of teenagers to fire their parents and then re-hire them years later, but as consultants, rather than managers."

Sometimes your teens will talk openly with you. Other times they will clam up and virtually ignore you. Drama is often the order of the day, and teens' feelings can be very intense. What's a parent to do?

Hold a family council

One idea that may help open communication with your teens is to ask them to participate in a family council. Family councils work best when families meet regularly at a pre-agreed time.

Sometimes it's appropriate for the whole family to participate in a discussion. At other times it might work better to have one parent meet with one teen.

Talk about family business

Time set aside for a family council can be dedicated to agreeing on family values, setting family goals, planning vacations, setting budgets or talking about challenges within the family.

It's important to recognize that family councils require collaboration. While we might all live in the same family, we all have our own ideas. Respect for the ideas of each family member is essential.

Get input from all family members

As with any effective working group, when teens are asked for their input, they are more likely to support a solution parents come up with to family issues. All children, regardless of their ages, need their parents to listen to them.

In order for family councils to be effective and a good time for essential face-to-face communication, don't allow distracting electronic devices. Spend quality time together.

Do not minimize what matters

While some of the issues teens raise during a family council might seem silly to you, remember you were that age once too.

Susan Bartell, PhD and adolescent psychologist in New York, says that when parents trivialize their teens' feelings, "Kids feel misunderstood, and eventually they will stop telling you anything." Take what matters to your kids seriously.

Know when to get outside help

Russell Ballard, businessman and religious teacher, advises this about particularly serious family problems: "All the talking and sharing and loving in the world may not solve a medical problem or an emotional challenge that one or many family members may be facing. At such times, the family council becomes a place of unity, loyalty, and loving support as outside help is enlisted in the search for solutions."

Keep having your family council, but seek outside help as needed.

We end where we began - it's not easy to parent teens. Give weekly family councils a try and be patient in the beginning. Implementing anything new and unfamiliar can be challenging and will take time but has the potential to be well worth your while.

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Attacks on religion include words such as deception and fraud. There exists a need to correct those misperceptions and talk instead about the ways religion can make family life better. Following are just some of the things religion can do for your children:

1. Makes them happier

According to research published in the journal "American Sociological Review," religious people tend to be happier when they are part of regular church services. It provides them with a sense of community, belonging and happiness.

2. Teaches them to be better citizens

Harvard Business School professional Clayton Christensen once told of a conversation he had with a Marxist economist from China, who observed that the reason democracy works is because most people, most of the time, voluntarily choose to obey the law. The economist went on to observe that these people believed they were accountable not just to society, but also to God. Most of the laws we live by today have a basis in religious teaching.

3. Creates a sense of wonder

The Rabbi David Wolpe said, "Countless generations of believers regulated their lives by faith. They believed, not out of fear, but out of wonder, not from a desire to judge and exclude, but to understand."

4. Encourages good health habits

In one 1998 study, researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles, found that regular churchgoers are more likely to get preventive care. Several other studies demonstrate a significant association between religious practice and healthy habits related to cigarette, alcohol and drug use.

5. Provides a set of rules to live by

In the United States, we have come to practice the separation of church and state to such an extent that schools are restricted from teaching our children basic moral values. It is left to religious institutions to help parents provide a moral compass for children to follow.

6. Engenders a sense of optimism

Religion teaches children that there are both good guys and bad guys out there, and that in the end the good guys will win. Optimism also tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. When our children believe in goodness, goodness tends to come their way.

7. Enhances a sense of tradition

In an article that first appeared in "Ambassador Magazine," psychologist Dr. Donna Rockwell wrote about the importance of tradition.

"Our traditions act as a compass for all of our human relationships and personal interactions. As we honor traditions, so we learn to honor ourselves, and each other," she said. Religious traditions include ceremonies that take us through birth, life passages, marriage and even death.

8. Teaches them to rejoice and sing

It has been said that Christianity is a singing religion. The Bible tells us to sing from the heart. Even the Book of Psalms is filled with the words "I will sing." Singing generates energy and enthusiasm, and it helps our children express their emotions.

9. Encourages selflessness

Faith-based cultures teach our children that it is better to give than to receive. In churches, children learn charitable giving. Stephen Post, a professor of preventive medicine, reported that giving to others helps increase health benefits in people with chronic illnesses. Giving to others also helps us to be more grateful for what we have.

10. Fosters education and learning

In an article titled "How Faith Communities Support Children's Learning in Public Schools," published by the U.S. Department of Education, the study concludes:

"Many faith communities partner with schools to provide tutoring, safe havens, after-school programs, mentoring, and summer activities." Communities of faith help us get involved in children's learning and improve their education. 11. Strengthens family bonds

Religious practices help encourage unity among family members. Shared beliefs can create a bond among family members, while providing a secure framework for children to eventually go out on their own. Spending time together as a family creates an important sense of belonging. Religion encourages loyalty to both parents and ancestors.

12. Provides a sense of purpose

Faith can give children and adults a sense of purpose and meaning. Faith makes us want to live. Viktor Frankl's research in the Nazi death camp at Auschwitz led him to conclude that those who survived were those who found meaning in their lives. We need a reason to live. Faith can give us that reason.

13. Facilitates family fun

Faith-based communities offer needed recreation for children through fun family activities. Carnivals, musical concerts, ice cream socials and other religious festivals provide a safe environment for children to have fun with their family members and friends.

Religion helps both us and our children lead more fulfilled lives. Associate your children regularly with a faith-based community and watch them thrive!

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A child who is insecurely attached to her parents often lacks resilience, exhibits low self-confidence and may struggle in her relationships with others as she grows.

According to Brookings Institute, "Infants (aged 9 to 18 months) with responsive parents learn how their own behavior can impact their environment. This 'call and response' process builds the infant's sense of self-efficacy." But if the caregiver's response to the child is inadequate, this "virtuous learning cycle breaks down" and the child does not become securely attached to her caregiver.

Psychologists refer to early bonding experiences between caregiver and child as attachment. When children feel securely attached, they are much more likely to grow into competent, secure adults. In fact, early attachment correlates significantly with later success in life.

As parents, most of us are doing the best we can with what we know. When we know better, we do better.

Below are six signs you might be destroying your child with love.

1. Push him to be too independent too early

Early dependence builds later independence. While that may sound like a contradiction, it turns out it's not. Certainly small infants are very dependent on their parents. But as your baby grows into a young child, he will still toddle back to you for support. Be there for him. Don't push him to be too independent too soon.

2. Change the ground rules for acceptable behavior

Children need to know they have a reliable and consistent caregiver. While none of us are as consistent as we'd like to be, children become anxious when the ground rules for acceptable behavior change. When this occurs, the child feels insecure and is not sure what to do next.

3. Do too much for her as she grows

There's a balance between doing too much for our children and doing too little. It's important to encourage age-appropriate behavior at every age. If, for example, you're still tying your child's shoes for her when she's 8 years old or if you're still doing her homework for her when she's 10 years old, your "helping" is not helping; it's hurting.

4. Try too hard to be a friend

You're a parent, not a friend. This is not about you; it's about your children. Be in tune with how your children feel. Really look at them. Listen to them. Listening simply means you recognize how they feel. It doesn't mean you agree with everything they want to do. When you are emotionally in tune with your children and show them empathy while still setting appropriate limits, they come to believe that they are lovable.

5. React over-protectively when things go wrong

As much as we'd like to shield our children from everything that might hurt them, they will encounter situations that upset them. The important thing is to help them recover from those upsetting events, not to shield them from problems entirely. First, acknowledge the hurt; then, encourage them to find ways to move on. Learning to overcome challenges teaches resilience.

6. Don't follow through on what you say

When a child misbehaves, it's important to set reasonable consequences. Don't react out of anger or frustration and dole out consequences that are either irrational or that you can't possibly follow through with. Grounding a child for a month is unreasonable. Additionally, not following up a reasonable consequence teaches your child anything goes.

Being a parent is not easy. Each child is different. Sit down with your spouse and look at your dissimilar parenting patterns. What can the two of you do differently to make sure your child grows up to be a successful adult?

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Being serious about the Christian faith means doing two very simple things:

Loving God

Jesus tells us in the gospel of Matthew that the first and greatest commandment is to love God with all our hearts, souls, and minds. The Greek word for "love" is the verb "agapao". To love in that sense means to give ourselves over to our love for God. It means seeking first to find out what God wants our lives to be like and letting go of what we want our lives to be like.

Loving Others

Jesus tells us that the second great commandment is to love others. In Corinthians, we learn what it really means to love others. Whether it's our neighbors, our friends, or our family, we are told to be patient and kind. We are counseled not to get angry easily. We are told not to keep track of the ways in which we think others wrong us; in other words, we forgive. We tell each other the truth, rather than keeping secrets. We hope, we trust, and we persevere in our love for those who matter most to us, as well as for those who matter least.

When we love God and we love others, we are taking our religion seriously

Jesus tells us that on those two commandments "hang all the law and the prophets". Loving God and loving others are the two most important things in the Christian faith. When we truly love God and our neighbors as ourselves, we are taking our religion seriously. It does not mean that we hold our lives as being perfect, or that we judge others who are different from us. If we doing those things, we need to lighten up.

7 ways to be serious about your faith and still lighten up

1. Show, don't tell

Let others see the positive impact your faith has on you and your family by the way you live. That is so much more powerful than earnestly trying to tell others how important your faith is to you. Teach by example.

2. Keep your standards high, but don't judge others

You should never have to give up your standards to please others. On the other hand, you should not judge others who believe differently than you do. Christ teaches us to love, not to judge. Judgment rarely changes anyone's behavior.

3. Don't compare yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others is a loser's game. There will always be those who are both better off and worse off than you are. It's important to note that some people just seem better off because you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Just be yourself, and don't compare yourself to those around you.

4. Forgive yourself when you're not perfect, because no one is

We have all fallen short and have needed God's love and forgiveness. Jesus tells us to love others as we love ourselves. Don't forget to love yourself as you love others.

5. Live each day in the present

The past is behind us and we can do nothing about it. The future is ahead of us, and we can't control it. What we can do is live our best life today and love it.

6. Focus on the music of the gospel

Hear the music of faith, rather than studying your feet to make sure you've got all the steps of your religion right.

7. Reach out to others with empathy and compassion

Multiple studies have shown that when we spend time and money serving others, it has a positive impact on our own happiness. Live a selfless life by being compassionate to those around you.

Doing these seven things while keeping in mind God's two greatest commandments means you lighten up about life while still being faithful.

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By programming a computer to examine the speech of couples, researchers at the universities of Southern California and Utah can now predict whether or not the relationship will get better, get worse, or stay the same. The computerized analysis focused entirely on speech qualities such as tone, pitch, and intensity.

Clearly, how you speak can make or break your marriage.

Is your tonal message one of anger or sarcasm? Does your voice come across as cool, flat, or even blaming? Or is your tone typically warm and accepting? Your marriage is impacted not only by what you say, but by how you say it.

Another study conducted at the University of California at Los Angeles indicated that up to 93 percent of communication effectiveness is determined by nonverbal cues.

Nonverbal communication clearly matters. Nonverbal messages, such as eye contact or facial expressions, speak volumes about how you feel about your spouse and others.

How can you change both your tone of voice and your body language in ways that can improve your marriage?

Below are a few things to ask yourself that could improve your nonverbal communication, taken from "The Language of Emotional Intelligence" by Jeanne Segal, PhD:

1. What do your eyes say?

When you look at your spouse, do you glare, or are your eyes full of warmth?

2. What does your facial expression say?

Do you look interested in what she's saying, or are you thinking of something else, when she's talking?

3. What does your posture and body stance communicate?

Are you relaxed and approachable when you talk to him? Or is your jaw clenched and your shoulders tight?

4. How do you feel when you touch each other?

Does it make you feel warm and intimate? Do you enjoy the same kinds of physical contact?

Your nonverbal communication may be even more important to the health of your marriage than the things you actually say to each other. Check your nonverbal communications skills the next time you are with your partner.

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