We all want love, right? We all want that special person with us for a lifetime. Whether he's afraid to commit or propose, there is a true mental process men go through when choosing to marry the woman of their dreams. This process can be described with the four E's: example, experience, employment and emotions.

1. Example

Men can see the good example in their parent's marriage or even those friends' parents who stayed together through thick and thin.

"If your parents were happily married, you saw how two different people can somehow manage to live a life together," Scott Haltzman, author of "The Secrets of Happy Families," says.

We are all greatly affected by our upbringing and the example of our parents. Men take this into consideration when deciding who to marry, and it sways them in one direction or another.

2. Experience

Men think about their experiences from past dates and girlfriends. Do they feel it's the right time and the right one? We are given great foresight about this from John Molloy's book "Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others."

He interviewed men who had recently proposed and discovered the reason they decided to commit.

"They had not stopped dating. It's just that they were no longer going to singles hangouts and trying to pick up women several times a week. Picking up women was no longer their main reason for going out ... They told us the singles scene was not as much fun as it used to be."

In other words, when a man is ready to move on to a new experience (like settling down), he goes for it.

3. Employment

Are men stable in their employment? Do they have their career all worked out and on the right path, or are they still struggling? Again, John Molloy enlightens us on why this has a great bearing on whether men decide it's the right time to get married or not.

Single men told Molloy new possibilities opened up once they graduated and found a job.

"For the first time, a majority of them have some independence," he says. "All of a sudden, they have a nice car and an apartment and an income."

A man might not feel fully ready to commit to a woman until he has his own life figured out, Malloy says.

4. Emotions

Believe it or not, men want to be in a loving relationship - someone to spend time with and someone to come home to at night. Men want a stable environment as well, so when they find the girl they feel understood and loved by, they want to make the relationship permanent. They feel acceptance. They feel excitement.

Robin Reed from The Good Men Project says it well: "I've learned that being 'in love' is mostly showing up, being known with all my perceived weaknesses, warts and character defects to receive that accepting smile from my partner."

This sense of love in a relationship is part of the mental process men feel when choosing the woman they want to marry.

The process of finding a woman and considering marriage can be exciting and scary at the same time, but one thing we know for sure is there is a great mental process men undergo when deciding on tying the knot.

The post True mental process for men when choosing to marry appeared first on FamilyToday.

Why do some women want to bring other women down?

Everyone has green-with-envy moments; but, to take it further by purposely hurting another is unbelievably cruel.

Sometimes, without realizing it, you may in fact be part of the group of women who destroy other women. Ask yourself,

• Am I the kind who gets in between good friends and starts arguments?

• Am I drawn to drama and catfighting?

• Do I target women at church with cruel and judgmental comments?

• Do I knowingly spread lies about other women and ruin reputations?

• Do I flirt with other women's husbands to steal affection away?

• Do I blame other women close to me for problems I've caused?

If the answer is yes to these and any similar questions, then you spend way too much energy destroying others' lives. Be a peacemaker for good, not a creator of trouble.

Consider this open letter to a woman who destroys other women.

Dear Sister,

I heard you speak unkindly about one of my friends behind her back at church. I saw you mock another friend within your circle of friends while waiting to pick up children from school. I watched as you manipulated other women so you could be the center of attention at a party. I shuddered to see you loudly blame your own mother, while she stood nearby, for something you had done yourself.

There is no competition in womanhood. We are all sisters and should treat each other with kindness and respect. As women of God, let us be grateful He placed us here on earth with divinity in our veins and the opportunity to be good to people.

Please stop this insanity. Please heal yourself from your hurts. Start a new leaf by spreading kindness, not cruelty.

Sincerely,

A friend

If you realize you are a women who brings other women down, remember: It is not too late. Bad behavior begins to stop as soon as good behavior starts. And by following principles of repentance, we can all begin anew.

So, do you want to become a woman who encourages other women?

Here are 4 life-changing ways to become a woman who everyone wants to be friends with

1. Recognize the bad behavior in yourself which can emotionally and mentally cripple another human being.

2. Forgive yourself of past bad behaviors and consciously do the opposite of what you have done to hurt others.

3. Find a good therapist or friend whom you trust and get rid of the darkness and hurt you feel.

4. Learn that true loyalty is earned through good friendships and kindness, not gossip and popularity.

Many women cherish their women friends who follow these guidelines. Take it from a few celebrities:

"The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children's godparents, the people to whom I've been able to turn in times of trouble." - J.K. Rowling

"I still have friends from primary school. And my two best girlfriends are from secondary school. I don't have to explain anything to them. I don't have to apologize for anything. They know. There's no judgment in any way." - Emma Watson

"I don't know what I would have done so many times in my life if I hadn't had my girlfriends. They have literally gotten me up out of bed, taken my clothes off, put me in the shower, dressed me, said, 'Hey, you can do this,' put my high heels on and pushed me out the door!" - Reese Witherspoon

These women's friends have helped them through thick and thin. Margaret Nadauld, leader of a global religious young women's organization, said,

"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity."

Know that we are all loved children of God. Our world will be a much happier place when we treat each other as sisters, instead of enemies, and when we stick together.

Oh sister, my sister, our cruelty is done.

The post 4 ways to become the woman everyone wants to be friends with appeared first on FamilyToday.

Everyone loves to be thought of as a wonderful person. We all have our own thoughts on what we consider the greatest description of ourselves, but these seven qualities are universal in helping women feel their best. As you read each word, think about how it makes you feel, or how you can incorporate these ideals into your own life:

1. Influential

As mothers we influence our children to be their best. As women we can influence others for good in neighborhoods or work. She can set a good example to those around her. It is amazing when this influence is felt and comes back around to shine.

For example, I love the story of Helen Keller. She had many trials to overcome but she did it and had much influence through her writings, lectures and activism for the underprivileged.

Described as influential is a marvelous ideal, and I would love that word beside my name.

2. Faithful

One who is faithful can be your friend for a lifetime. There is integrity and a certain amount of trustworthiness to be considered faithful. Those who are faithful don't give up through thick and thin and stand by those they love.

We all know the story of Ruth from the Old Testament and how faithful Ruth was to her mother-in-law Naomi after their husbands passed away. Who doesn't love a faithful friend and family member? Being faithful is a great quality to have.

3. Humorous

We all love laughter and being entertained. Including the characteristic of humor in our personality is something we all want to be considered. Someone who loves to be humorous whether in slap stick, telling jokes or funny comments throughout the day, is a person who is well loved by everyone.

Think of the blessings of Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett or even Anna Farris. Life is much more enjoyable with someone who has a good sense of humor.

4. Virtuous

To be virtuous is to be righteous and pure. Here, we are referring to virtuous as upstanding, moral and ethical, which is a positive characteristic in a disintegrating society. The beauty of your spirit and thought lies within and a great byproduct is self-respect.

From the story of Jane Eyre, Jane remains virtuous through all the trials she has faced from her job as a governess to keeping herself pure from Edward Rochester. With the tag of virtuous, we keep our self-worth intact over a lifetime.

5. Kind

It's better to be kind than to be smart. This is something I have taught my children as they have matured to adulthood. We all know someone who is kind in our own circle of friends and this characteristic is very significant.

I have a friend who claims to have absolutely no talent whatsoever but she is the kindest person I have ever met. Kindness is important and can make an impression never to be forgotten. Remembering to be kind does more in relationships than any other ideal.

6. Fearless

In our own human nature, women can have many fears through life experiences but if we can overcome those fears and be fearless, this attribute can be a blessing to us in helping others and in our own self-worth. There are many fearless women who aren't afraid to follow their dreams or try something new.

I love the story of Mary Fielding Smith who after the murder of her husband Hyrum, became one of the early pioneer women to cross the plains to Salt Lake City against all odds. She was fearless and took her children, step-children and a few other dependents with her across the country without much help from other adults. Fearless is one word that I want included in my description after I leave this earth.

7. Clever

Finding the definition of clever gave more understanding to this word than what I originally thought: "Quick to understand, learn and devise ideas; intelligent." This also includes "being skilled at doing or achieving something."

Mayim Bialik is a great example of cleverness. By profession and college degree, she is a neuroscientist but has chosen to take part in the successful TV show "The Big Bang Theory" as the character Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, who is also a scientist in the show. What a combination: smart and funny.

When we are clever, besides being academic, we can also think quickly on our feet; a characteristic I would love to be known as.

Don't beat yourself up if you don't have any of these qualities. Just focus on the development of one of these descriptive words, which can help improve your life and the life of others whom you know. These ideals are the best of what we would spend a lifetime achieving. Don't you agree?

The post The 7 best words to compliment a women appeared first on FamilyToday.

So, you're spending time with your significant other, and you go out to lunch. No big deal, right? Of course right. Until he/she drops the bomb and says, "I want to take a break from our relationship," or, "I would like to start seeing others," or, "I don't think we should see each other anymore." Crickets chirping. You've just been pushed off an emotional cliff.

Fast-forward a year from that time, and you are still thinking about this person. What is it that does this to you? It still hurts, and you can't move on emotionally in life. They say it takes half the time of when together to get over a lost love. (Strictly speaking about boyfriend-girlfriend relationships; spouses are a whole other world.) Whoever made up that rule obviously has never been ditched. Everyone takes a break-up differently, and it doesn't depend on how long the relationship lasted.

Not only do break-ups make it difficult to function, but long-lasting pain can drag you down in your next relationship. Tina Su of "Think Simple" says, "Sometimes, the pain of lost love is so intense that it can shake our beliefs about romance and relationships. When these emotional bruises are not understood and have not healed properly, they become invisible baggage that drags with us into the next relationship."

Until that break-up time came along, this person was your whole life. The time shared together was special, and now there is a big hole. Stable emotional health is the goal, but how do you get there? Figuring out why you can't get over that one person may help.

Why can't you get over that one person?

1. No closure

If you can figure out why the relationship couldn't continue, then maybe you can have closure in your life without him. Maybe you didn't realize how he was pushing you away. Maybe you both were going in different directions with life choices, but you just didn't notice. Whatever it was in the relationship, much reflection and pondering is due, and being honest with yourself will help to close that chapter in your life.

Clinical psychologist Gawain Wells wrote about this very topic: "Sometimes it's better for two people not to marry each other. They would both be happier married to other people-it's that simple. Perhaps they've formed a relationship for the wrong reasons. But even when the motives are right, a relationship still might not have that 'spark' that impels bothtoward marriage. In such cases, breaking up is often the kindest alternative." Don't get me wrong-I know how much a break up hurts. It takes time to stop thinking about that person. But continuing on after years of distance can be more hurtful to yourself then you realize. Create closure.

2. Overdependence on that person for happiness

When you become so dependent on another person for happiness, you lose your own identity and independence. But you can make your own happiness! You are enriched by family and other friends to help you in life. Look for other friends, other activities or hobbies. Spend time with others. And, by following your own pursuits, you'll heal old wounds.

3. Lost sight of what's important

Sometimes you just have to tell yourself it is over. You can't go back to what was before. You have to pick yourself up and move on, even if it's telling yourself every day for a week it is over. And you need to believe in yourself because that is what is most important.

It may seem hard to believe you will ever be happy again, but remember every person has worth. Every child born on Earth is a child of God. Life can be very full without thinking an old flame will make it all better. Find something worth your while, and put aside those thoughts from long ago. Write a letter to your old flame, and really be honest. Then burn it. Recognize you are responsible for your own feelings, and get counseling if this is more than you can bear. Praying and pondering will also help those unwanted thoughts to not sneak back into your mind.

When healing is complete you will feel joy. You will know you are ready for another relationship without the baggage of a past break-up. You will find peace in your heart and know the single life has its advantages. Let go, and be happy.

The post Why do we have that one person we can’t get over? appeared first on FamilyToday.

Entertainment is our world, so it is fun and inspirational as believers of Jesus Christ to see entertainers who also believe. Consider these celebrities from television, movies, music and theater whose words of gratitude for their faith may surprise you.

1. Reba McEntire

Credit: DFree/shutterstock

We have all heard Reba sing and adore her voice and the music she creates. The 60-year-old singer keeps her faith front and center and is not afraid to. In her music and the life she lives, God is always there. When FOX411 interviewed her in April she gave her most sincere opinions on why she is successful:

"[Faith] guides me on everything I do," Reba told FOX411. "I ask for guidance, I ask the Lord to give me wisdom when I speak, when I think and I always try to be positive and say nice things and it gives me strength throughout every minute and every day."

2. Chris Pratt

Credit: DFree/Shutterstock

Everyone loved Chris Pratt in "Guardians of the Galaxy" and "Jurassic World." But what most people don't know is his abiding faith in God. When his wife gave birth to their son nine weeks prematurely, they were scared. In a Conservative Tribune interview, Chris bravely told the world about their experience:

"'We were scared for a long time. We prayed a lot,' Pratt explained. 'It restored my faith in God, not that it needed to be restored, but it really redefined it. The baby was so beautiful to us, and I look back at the photos of him and it must have been jarring for other people to come in and see him, but to us he was so beautiful and perfect.'"

3. Denzel Washington

Credit: Photo Works/Shutterstock

Denzel is a great example of a believer in a prominently unbelieving environment. As the son of a Pentecostal minister, Denzel learned a lot about God growing up. His faith stayed with him through his entire TV and film career. He is known in Hollywood as one who isn't afraid to talk about his Christian faith. In May of this year he told the graduates of Dillard Universityto "put God first in everything you do." He also showed how prayer is particularly important to him:

"While you're on your knees, say thank you. Thank you for grace, thank you for mercy, thank you for understanding, thank you for wisdom, thank you for parents, thank you for love, thank you for kindness, thank you for humility, thank you for peace, thank you for prosperity."

4. Carrie Underwood

Credit: S_Bukley/Shutterstock

Carrie was propelled into stardom when she won the fourth season of American Idol back in 2005. Both she and her husband Mike Fisher juggle their careers while staying connected as a couple, and they agree their spirituality is at the heart of their relationship. After her release of "Jesus Take the Wheel" Carrie was warned of the risk to release such a Christian song. However, she responded firmly:

"I grew up in Oklahoma, I always had a close relationship with God. I never thought it was risky in the least. If anything, I thought it was the safest thing I could do."

5. Mark Wahlberg

Credit: S_Bukley/Shutterstock

The youngest of nine children growing up in Boston, Mark Wahlberg is known for his "tough guy" roles in movies. With a rough start at 16 serving jail time for violent assault and fighting various addictions, Mark knows how his faith drives him every day. From an interview in Square Mile Magazine Mark tells us:

"[My faith is] the most important part of my life. I pray that I will live up to my intention to be the best husband and father that I can be. I never would have been able to change my life and have the success and love that I have in my world today without my faith."

6. The Piano Guys

The four men who make up The Piano Guys-Jon Schmidt, Steven Sharp Nelson, Paul Anderson and Al van der Beek-are men who have carved their music careers in their own style and standard. They started posting their own music videos on YouTube, which quickly led to a contract with Sony Records in September 2012. From the beginning, their purpose was obvious: to make a positive impact in the lives of people all over the world through music videos. On their website they state,

"We believe the purpose of life is to be happy. We believe the best way to be happy is to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ and to love others more than yourself. We believe family is most important. We believe we are all children of a God who loves us dearly. We believe that good music can be a source of joy, inspiration, and fulfillment."

7. Laura Osnes

Credit: Gloomy Sunday Photography/Shutterstock

You may know Osnes from her roles in Broadway such as Sandy from "Grease," Nellie Forbush from "South Pacific," Hope Harcourt from "Anything Goes," the lead role in "Bonnie and Clyde," and the lead role that really boosted her career in "Cinderella." She grew up attending a local church in the suburbs of Minneapolis with her family. In one interview Laura said,

"I feel that God has blessed my career so much because I've tried to honor him with it."

This is just a very small list of believers in the entertainment world. There are many others who believe in Jesus Christ. Many pray every day, attend weekly church service and raise their children in God. The way they live their life and speak of the importance of God while in the limelight is most inspiring.

The post 7 celebrities who may surprise you with their faith in God appeared first on FamilyToday.

From church talks to magazine articles, we know what we should be doing for our husbands. But in all the hustle and bustle of life, sometimes we forget. Wives should always be more complimentary and praise their husbands. We know this, and we feel a little guilty. No excuses are needed here; we just need to remember all the good things our husbands do for us. So here are seven praises we should tell our husbands and remember the secret: (whispered) praise them when they are not in the middle of a project.

1. "I really appreciate you"

Husbands love to be appreciated and told by their wives that they are appreciated. Whatever your husband does to take care of the family, work hard at his job, and be a great father, he needs to hear you tell him this. These praises from you make life worth living.

2. "Thank you for doing that"

Remember to thank him out loud in whatever he does for you. Between raising children and working his job, there is little time for a "honey-do" list. Next time he does something for you, thank him. He will be more willing to do more in the future.

3. "That is a great idea"

Husbands love to contribute to problem solving so when he comes up with a great idea, tell him so. He will love you for it and maybe come up with more great ideas in the future.

4. "I really like ___ about you"

Choose a talent or good habit of your husband and tell him how much you like that about him. Even if his hobbies don't interest you, it interests him and that is what is important. This litttle comment will score extra brownie points and besides, isn't nice to hear compliments from your spouse?

5. "I am so proud of you"

Husbands thrive on positive comments. If your husband is making an effort to accomplish something, then these few words will make a big difference. Whether it's getting along with your difficult parents or getting rid of that tree stump in the yard, these words will bring sunshine to your companion.

6. "I'm glad you are in my life"

Lucky is the woman who has a hubby to help her with housework, car repairs, or whatever else you cannot get done during the week. Tell him how you feel and you won't regret it.

7. "You are so hot"

Whether he's overweight and bald or slim and trim, your husband wants to hear that you are still attracted to him. There are more ways to be attractive than the physical looks, anyway. Tell him when he looks good or does something you find attractive.

Author John Gray has said that "men are motivated when they feel needed". What better way to motivate and love your husband but by sincere praises? He will love the encouraging words and it will bring music to his ears.

The post 7 praises every wife should speak out loud to her husband appeared first on FamilyToday.

Will Rogers once said: "I never met a man that I didn't like." He was a great example of how we can be friends with everyone we meet, but it might be more difficult than it looks. We are all different people with distinct talents and abilities. Not everyone makes friends easily. Here are a few tips to help:

1. Praise and Promote

No one likes negativity. Switch to the positive when you find yourself critical of someone.Compliments should be sincere. Politeness goes a long way so make sure to include thank you, you're welcome, good morning and good night. You never know what people are experiencing in their lives, so be encouraging. Comments like "You really impress me" or It's so good to see you" are some of the phrases that the happiest people say everyday,welcoming words to anyone's ears. Remember that words are important to everyone so keep them positive.

2. Ask questions

Asking leading questions like, "What do you do for fun?" or "What's your favorite movie?" can get a conversation going. Sincerely ask and then really listen. Be genuinely interested in others, because people are important. There are natural questions you can pull from every situation, such as "How do you know the people here?" at a party or "Where are you originally from?" while talking to someone in the park.

"Who is the most interesting person you've met?" or "Where would you love to visit if you had the time?" are two questions to start a conversation. Awkwardness falls away and a friendship starts to evolve as you get a conversation going.

3. Remember the face

When you talk with someone, notice their face. Compliment them sincerely. Do you like their smile? Their eyes? The way they carry themselves? Their height? Their outfit? Sincere compliments can put people at ease, and open up conversation. Keeping eye contact with that person when he or she is speaking tells them they are important enough for your full attention.

4. Call by name

People like hearing their name, so remember and use it in conversation. Remembering a nickname is an additional help. It makes the connection more personal. If you have a hard time remembering names, try connecting the name with a certain characteristic or memory with that name to help you not forget.

These four tips take a certain amount of effort but pay off as you learn the art of making friends. This is an attribute that makes starting a new job or moving into a new neighborhood less stressful. Everyone loves to be appreciated. These skills can help others feel better about themselves, and help you be a better friend.

The post 4 tips to make friends with anyone appeared first on FamilyToday.

Being a good parent takes energy and patience but the rewards are outstanding. As a mother of nine children, I can tell you that it is a lot of work but the payback is sometimes overwhelmingly wonderful and very joyful.

So what does it take to be a good parent? Here are some suggestions:

1. Be a consistent disciplinarian

This is one of the hardest characteristics of a good parent. Children need boundaries and need to feel secure when you say no. They know where they stand, so even though they will push the limits of their parents' boundaries, hold fast and don't cave. This consistency will help mold your children's idea of what is fair. Both parents should be together on what is appropriate for their own children so when they try to pit parent against parent, (and they will) consistency will win out.

2. Remember the Golden Rule

Even if you are the disciplinarian, treating your children with kindness and patience will show compassion. In turn, they will treat others this way. Manners and politeness seem to be losing ground in child raising in our modern society, but it is an important part of preserving our culture. Asking permission to play with a neighbor's toy is much kinder than taking the toy without permission. It is a civilized world when we, as a people, can keep our manners intact by passing them on to the next generation.

3. Be available for talk time

This aspect of parenting is very important as it leaves communication open for children to receive adults' teaching about lessons in life or a listening ear for their concerns. It is vital that we listen to our children. They need someone to hear their opinions, and we need to reinforce our ideals. Talk time is very important for children of all ages, and we, as parents, must remember to talk even though we are tired or annoyed by life's trials.

4. Set a good example

All of what we do is copied by our children. What we say, how we treat others, how we dress and talk are all noticed even by the smallest of tots. They might not appear to be paying attention, but they are. Good behavior should always be reinforced at home. Remember, parents are a child's very first teacher, so setting a good example is very important. I know we are not perfect, but we have to keep trying to make good choices as parents so our children will make good choices as teenagers and adults.

5. Keep electronic entertainment to a minimum

Whether it's Xbox, television or online computer games, too much electronic entertainment makes children lazy. In most cases, children would prefer to be entertained by a screen than play outside or read a book.

According to a Kaiser Family Foundation survey, children in ages ranging from 8 to 18 years old spend an average of seven hours and 38 minutes per day using entertainment media. Most experts recommend limiting a child's use of electronics to not exceed more than two hours per day as life becomes distorted if left alone to their own devices. Instead, encourage your child to play outside, read a book or play a board game.

Parents need to get the message that being a good parent is really important. Somehow, we need to instill in the minds of our rising generation the importance of good parenting and pass on the positive characteristics for the future generation.

The post 5 tips for good parenting appeared first on FamilyToday.

Here are some helps for parents who are in a quandary of what to do with their adult children in troubled times.

1. Evaluate the situation

This takes some unbiased thinking as a parent. Pinpoint where the problem or challenge began. Was it online pornography, hurtful friends, violent behavior, hiding an alcohol or drug addiction? There can be any number of reasons a child loses his way. Begin to take steps in what is required for recovery. Find places where there is help and follow through on a plan where everyone can work together for a positive outcome. One single mother was distraught to find her son sneaking on the family computer at night to watch pornography. When she confronted him, he was angry and denied it. But as she asked further questions and reminded him of how poisonous pornography truly is, he eventually apologized, and they worked out a solution to help him stay away from Internet pornography completely.

2. Stick to your guns

Everyone needs rules and guidelines. If you have them established at home, then there is no question of what is expected. From Empowering Parents, Debbie Pincus says, "If your child is about to move back in with you, I think you need to sit down and hammer out some guidelines. Having a plan ahead of time is always good because everyone will know what to expect."

If there is a plan already in place for adult children to follow to independence, peace can be restored at home and they know where they stand. If an adult child does not want to follow the rules of the house, don't let her stay at home. It's not fair to the other children, and it's not fair to the parents. She should take responsibility of being a part of the family and keeping the rules. Stick to your guns and incorporate a little "tough love" when she has to leave. Hopefully, your child will eventually realize she needs to take responsibility for her actions and change for the better.

3. Praise and promote

Find good habits and point out special gifts that your child possesses, and tell him you love him. For one mother, praising her son was one of the hardest things she had ever done. He had been abusing another child secretly. She had to help them both recover. Therapy and guidance counselors were visited on a weekly basis. She had to tell them she loved them both but hated what one did to his own sibling. This process took years to help heal both children but hearing the words "I love you" and helping that child find his way helped tremendously in his recovery. Remember the kindness of Jesus Christ in helping those adult children with troubles.

From Parenting Grown Children, Penelope Lemov says: "There is power in positive encouragement." This has proven to be a great help to many parents with adult children, and there are no regrets for positive praise.

4. Get professional help

Do not be afraid to find outside help. Many times a troubled adult child will need services from other sources which a parent cannot do for the child. This might be painful for parents as Randi Kreger says from Gaining Support When You Have a Troubled Adult Child"¦ "When adult or adolescent children are troubled, others may believe parents must have been at fault, somehow. They may also think they are being kind to the parents by avoiding this embarrassing subject. These mistaken beliefs can leave parents of troubled children floundering as they seek help and solace from others."

Don't be afraid to seek outside counsel for your adult children. It might mean the difference between night to day in recovery. Gettting help is much more important than what the neighbors may say.

5. Let Go

Sometimes parents just have to let go of their adult child. It's the hardest thing you will ever do but for adult children to better understand consequences of their actions, they have to live their life with their own choices. Jail time, community service or whatever it takes will actually help your child come to understand what is expected of him or her to live a productive life. Let your adult children go to fill those consequences, and then they can come home a renewed person and start out their new life clean and forgiven.

6. Never give up

Pray always for this child and never give up on him. Tell him you won't give up and continue to hope this child will one day return with his life in order. Never giving up is not the same as letting go. Parents can let go of their adult children because of bad choices to live their own life while never giving up on their opportunity to change their behavior.

John K. Carmack tells us, "If you cannot seem to reach your daughter or son now, you can at least keep trying and keep loving them, for the very will to reach out, nurture, and extend help to another is an act of love that does not always go unnoticed."

It's never too late to be a parent. A troubled mind is a cry for help. As we work with our troubled adult children, they will begin to appreciate all you do for them. It might not come quickly but sometime in their life they will understand your love for them. Until then keep on trying.

The post Too late to parent? Helping adult children appeared first on FamilyToday.

1. You stop having fun after you are married

False. This stereotype is prominent in many TV shows we watch today. The snide remarks from Modern Family's character Phil Dunphy does not hold true, "Trust me, I had plenty of fun in my time. Then, I met your mom." Yes, marriages can get stale and unexciting, but it is up to us to nurture the relationship.

The English author, David Mace, made this observation, "One of the great illusions of our time is that love is self-sustaining. It is not. Love must be fed, nurtured, and constantly renewed. That demands ingenuity and consideration, but first and foremost, it demands making the time for each other."

Relationships need nurturing. As dating couples we set aside time for each other, and as married couples we need to do the same thing. We need to keep a constant source of nourishment in our marital relationship which in turn will keep the fun in our marriage.

2. Forgiveness is always necessary

True. This idea has been shown in many TV shows of husbands and wives getting themselves into trouble or planning some scatterbrained idea which doesn't work out. In many of the episodes of "Everybody Loves Raymond," "Home Improvement" and even "The Simpsons," there are great examples of forgiveness between husbands and wives.

For example, in the show "The King of Queens," the husband, Doug, has a good friend, Spencer, who is dating a girl who is at cooking school and gives Doug a taste of her finished assignments. Doug becomes crazy over her cooking and starts meeting over at Spencer's house for meals. Doug's wife, Carrie, becomes upset over his constant rendezvous for dinner even under the guise of testing the girlfriend's food and tells Doug. By the end of the show, they work out the whole fiasco but forgiveness is necessary. Forgiveness for a spouse is a must to keep the relationship going. We are not perfect and shouldn't expect our spouses to be perfect. When a wrong is done, and an honest apology is given then forgiveness becomes necessary to continue good feelings between spouses.

3. You can only marry your "soul mate"

False. In most cases, there is no such thing as a soul mate. Yes, there are couples who come together and feel that they are made for each other but in many cases that is rare. It's the commitment both people have in the relationship which makes it work. From Criss Jami in his book, "Venus in Arms," he writes, "To say that one waits a lifetime for his soul mate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting; take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soul mates, which takes a lifetime to perfect."

The idea of a soul mate is very dangerous. If you search your whole life to find what you consider a soul mate, you might never get married. Many singles have such high expectations that happiness will never be achieved because no one can measure up.

4. A fair fight can do some good

True. There are many TV examples of what a fair fight is and what isn't when couples get into an argument. When we use the word "fight," this means to express one's disagreement or anger to a spouse constructively. There are times when both spouses need to discuss a hot topic to understand each other but there are some ground rules here which apply.

From 25 Ways to Fight Fair comes some good points for couples to remember in discussing a hot topic: No name calling or making fun of your spouse. Keep your cool or leave to cool off. Negotiation and compromise are essential in the discussion. Speak honestly and clearly in conversation. Keep the discussion between both of you only. We all have seen positive examples and poor examples of TV married couples "discussing" their concerns, and how this will hurt the relationship more than help. A fair fight is only helpful if both parties keep the rules.

5. It's OK to swap spouses for a break to your own marriage

False. The idea that it's fun and OK to swap spouses for a short time is very damaging to a healthy marriage relationship. In wedding vows, we are promised to each other and should be devoted to that person. Swapping spouses only causes more contention and jealousy in a marriage. American author, Robert Sexton says this: "In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced."

With the longevity of couples staying together, it is ridiculous to think that taking a break from the other partner would help the relationship. That would be like comparing a married couple to a car that ran out of gas. You don't trade in your spouse for a better model, even temporarily.

In society it seems that examples of TV marriages are not to be taken seriously. At times, sitcoms can be considered thought provoking in showing good examples of a good marriage but thinking TV marriages are what a good marriage should be went out the window with "Leave it to Beaver" or "Father Knows Best." From the theme of "Married with Children," Frank Sinatra reminds us: "Love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage. This I tell ya, brother, you can't have one without the other."

The post TV marriages: The good, the bad and the stereotype appeared first on FamilyToday.