1. Do some yoga

Or any exercise, really. Just getting up and moving around a little can go a long way toward improving your mood and lifting your spirits. Yoga is especially helpful because, besides the short-term benefits, it also improves your flexibility and breathing method, both of which will be helpful when you're in labor.

2. Find one great outfit

Clothes can be hard at this time in your life. Nothing fits, everything is expensive and vaguely resembles a tent. If you can find just one really great outfit, something that makes you feel like you can take on the world, then everything will seem much brighter.

The kind of outfit will depend on your lifestyle. For me it was a great pair or maternity jeans and a handful of shirts that made me feel pretty instead of frumpy. If you work in an office, a great suit or dress pants might be a better investment for you.

3. Buy some shoes that fit

Let's face it, your feet are bigger. I know, it's a cruel, cruel world. They may go back to normal after the baby comes and they may not, you can cross that bridge when you get to it. For now, having at least one pair of shoes that fits you today is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

4. Take a nap

This was hard for me to do, but after a while I had to admit it really was essential. Your body is working hard to create something amazing, so cut yourself some slack and get some sleep. Whatever you're working on will still be there when you wake up, unfortunately.

5. Go to lunch with a friend

There's something about taking time in the middle of the day to eat something delicious and catch up with your friends that makes you feel pampered and relaxed. Call your most positive friends and make a plan. I bet they'll be happy to see you, too.

6. Fold all the baby clothes

Whenever I felt like I could not take the nausea and the swelling and the exhaustion for one more day I would do something to remind myself why I was doing this. I would get out all the baby clothes and refold them while I day dreamed about my beautiful baby. It makes everything seem worthwhile.

7. Let people help you

It can be hard, but when you need help, ask for it. You do yourself and the people around you a disservice when you don't give them the chance to be there for you when you need something.

8. Do something nice for someone else

As cliché as it might sound, forgetting about yourself and helping someone else is amazingly good for the soul. It can be something big, but even something small like baking cookies for the neighbors will give you a boost.

9. Get out and go a little crazy

It's going to get harder to just drop everything and go to a movie or run to the beach once the baby comes. Take advantage of the freedom you have right now and do something fun.

10. Count your blessings

You're having a baby! What's happening to your body is a miracle, even if it's not always comfortable. Be grateful you have this chance and be grateful it will be over soon.

Take good care of yourself during your pregnancy. It will set a valuable precedent for taking good care of yourself as a new mom.

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Start before the baby is born

Before your baby comes, try to spend some time everyday bonding. I loved to fold and refold my babies clothes while I day dreamed about what he would look like, or I would lie in bed and feel him swoosh around. Whatever it is that makes you feel close to your baby, work it in to your daily routine.

Skin to skin

Skin to skin contact is great for bonding because it releases the hormones that will help you fall in love with your baby. Lay your baby, wearing only a diaper, on your bare chest and cover him with a blanket. This is especially helpful when your child is first born, but it works any time you need a little boost of closeness between you and baby.

Get some help

Whenever possible, get someone to help out with all the non-baby related things, like cleaning up and making dinner, so that you can focus on spending time with your baby. You have such a limited time with a newborn, try to make the most of every minute.

Wear your baby

Trying wearing your baby in a sling when you go out, or work around the house. There are lots of different kinds of slings, some as simple as a piece of fabric you tie around yourself. The Internet is full of great resources to help you find the sling that is right for you and learn how to use it safely.

Cut yourself some slack

Regardless of your parenting philosophy, remember this: You will not ruin your baby if you don't do things exactly right, every time, right from the start. If you want to get your baby on a sleep schedule early on, don't pressure yourself to start immediately, if you are not ready. You can spend a few days holding and snuggling your baby around the clock, and you'll still be able to get them to sleep well when you're ready. The same goes if you are more of an attachment style parent who wants their baby to be held as much as possible. If you need to put him in his crib to nap so you can get some sleep, do it. You won't hurt your baby by deviating from your plan for a few days, or weeks. Being tired and overwhelmed won't help you bond, being well-rested will.

Get in bed

In those early months, when I was having a hard time connecting to my baby, or I just felt overwhelmed, I would carve out a day to take a little "home vacation". I would put on my favorite pajamas, gather everything I might need, diapers, a water bottle, snacks, a book, and I would spend the whole day in bed with my baby. We would snuggle, nap, read books, and recharge for the weeks ahead. It was such a lovely time.

If you are struggling to bond with your baby, try not to feel guilty. Sometimes, it's hard to hear stories from other moms about how they were instantly connected to their child when you are desperately trying to feel that way. Looking back on it, I feel like most of those mothers are remembering through rose-colored glasses. Deep bonding takes time, and it's absolutely worth all the work that goes into it.

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Think of it as a marathon

Would you show up to run a marathon without training first? Of course not, you would prepare for months before you ever got to the starting line. While much of the work is physical, labor is also a mental game, requiring you to dig deep and find strength within yourself.

A great place to start when preparing for labor is to address your fears. Fear of the unknown is a very powerful thing. Whether this is your first baby or your eighth, there is no way to know exactly how your birth will go. Help alleviate some of those fears by learning what you can about the birth process and how it will affect you. The more you know about what is going to happen, the more you will be able to relax.

In order to avoid sabotaging your new found zen, block out the bad examples. When I was pregnant, it felt like every movie or TV show featured a woman in labor, screaming like a banshee as she is wheeled down the hospital hallway by a frantic nurse followed by a useless husband. That was nothing compared to the horror stories many of my friends, relatives and random strangers were telling me. I found the best thing to do was interrupt them and nicely ask if they could save this story for after the baby was here, explaining that I was trying to focus on positive birth stories at the moment. It might not be the best for your social life, but it will be worth it.

Since you have now effectively killed your social life, you will have plenty of time to find a birth method that works for you. Some methods of which you may be familiar include, Lamaze, Bradley and Hypnobirthing, but there are many others to consider. Once you find the method in which you feel most comfortable, dig in and learn everything you can. Consider enrolling in classes, read books or watch videos. The best thing for me was a combination of Bradley and Hypnobirthing, which I taught myself, both by reading books and watching videos available on YouTube.

The best thing I did in those final weeks leading up to my baby's birth was practice, practice, practice. While, it felt strange to lie on my living room floor, listening to my favorite peaceful music, trying to fall into a hypnotic state, I am so glad I kept at it. When I was in labor, it was amazingly helpful to have the ability to tune out all the potentially frightening things going on around me and focus completely on bringing my baby into the world. An added bonus is that I still use the things I learned when I can't fall asleep, or I need a way to lower my stress level.

Having a great birth experience is within your power. Being prepared mentally is the best way to ensure that you are calm and happy, no matter the birth experience.

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In reality, he was born in a loud, bright room full of people I will never see again. The first time I saw my son was on the screen of my husband's phone. The first time I held my son was a full 30 minutes later, after he had been measured, weighed and cleaned up. I was beyond grateful that he was safe, but it was still, in many ways, a disappointment.

When the birth that you had planned doesn't work out, it can be traumatic, both for you and for your baby. Learning to cope and moving on is essential for you and for your baby. Here are some ideas to help.

Give yourself permission to be sad

The first thing that helped me was to give myself permission to be sad. I felt, very acutely, that I had lost out on something and it was necessary for me to grieve that loss. Sometimes pregnant women are made to feel that the only outcome they are allowed to hope for is a healthy baby, and if we get that much we should be happy and not complain.

Don't get me wrong, I am beyond grateful that my baby is here safe and sound, and I love him more than anything, but the process was important to me too. Grief can be a funny thing, it comes and goes, and when we think we're done, it comes back again. Give yourself permission to feel however you want to feel about the experience you had.

Gain perspective

In your grief, try to remember that what you are feeling right now may be partly hormonal. Looking back, now I can see that at first I had a hard time separating things that were a big deal from things that were not. Having someone to talk to openly about your experience can help you find the needed perspective.

Give credit where credit is due

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While you are grieving, it's also important to give credit where credit is due. However things turned out for you and your baby, you preformed a miracle. Don't shortchange yourself, you grew a baby!

Have gratitude.

It's also helpful to remember to have gratitude for what you had. Much of my sadness stemmed from the way I was treated at the hospital, but in all reality, the hospital saved my life. Sure, they could have been nicer about it, but at the end of the day I'm glad I had options and I'm glad to be alive.

Have hope

I hope someday to have another child, and when I do, I hope I can get more of the things that I want out of my birth experience. This hope for the future has really helped me to frame my sadness in a more positive light.

Instead of always thinking back on what I would have done differently, I try to think about what I will change next time. If you don't plan to have more children, perhaps offering to help someone you are close to prepare for her birth can help give you the same feeling of hope.

What happened in between the birth I wanted and the birth I got doesn't really matter as much to me now. It was, by far, the hardest work I've ever done, and almost nothing went as planned, but it was still an incredible, transforming experience. I can see now that what I got was what I really needed, assurance that I can do hard things, a chance to prove to myself that I am strong, and my beautiful son.

The post How to cope when your birth doesn’t go as planned appeared first on FamilyToday.

Congratulations, you're going to have a baby! This is an incredibly happy time for you, so why doesn't your partner seem as excited? It may be that he is excited, but also nervous and overwhelmed. Here are some ways you can help your partner feel involved, bond with your baby and get excited.

Know your partner

Everyone copes with change in their own way. Think back on other times your partner has dealt with a major life change. How did he cope then? Did he need some space to process his feelings? Or did he go into hyperdrive organizing and trying to fix everything? It's reasonable to expect that he will handle your pregnancy in a similar way, so use past experience as a guide and give him space to deal with this in his own way. It will take some patience and self control on your part, but in the long run you will be glad you didn't force things.

Be a facilitator

Bonding is usually easier and more natural for the mother during pregnancy because the baby is with you all the time. Some effort might be involved in getting your partner to bond with your baby. Truthfully, the level of joy and excitement you are feeling right now might not come to your partner until there is an actual baby in his arms, but do what you can to help him get excited and feel involved. I knew my husband wouldn't read the weekly pregnancy email I had signed up for, but he did like to hear about how big our baby was that week or what part of him was developing. Whatever part of your pregnancy is interesting to your partner, give him the chance to be involved in that area.

Be clear about what you need

Throughout your pregnancy and after the baby comes you are going to need your partner to help you. Make sure that he knows what your needs are and how he can help. Make it specific. Instead of, "Can you clean up the house?" try, "Will you load the dishwasher?" And remember that even if he doesn't do it exactly the same way you would, this is a great time to practice letting go of the little things - you'll have to do a lot more of that once the baby comes. Just thank him nicely and move on.

Sneak it in

When I was pregnant I loved to watch YouTube videos of babies being born and as the birth got closer I started to notice my husband paying more attention to what I was watching. He would ask questions and I would point out what stage of labor the mother was in and how you could tell. This was educational for him and also gave him an opening to express his concerns about the birth. Ask him to come to a class with you, tell him one interesting thing you're learning about childcare everyday, or maybe highlight a few relevant sections in your favorite birth book. You may find that he wants to know what's going on and be involved but he's too overwhelmed and doesn't know where to start.

You have nine months to prepare, and a lifetime to nurture this child after that - so remember there is time for your partner to become as excited as you are. If he's not picking out cribs and buying tiny baby socks, give him time. Respect how he's feeling right now, but give him as many opportunities as you can to grow.

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