One of the first disagreements my husband and I had as newlyweds happened while hiking together one afternoon in a nearby canyon. Things began to go downhill rather quickly, and I'm not referring to the grade of the hiking trail.

The argument began when I made a suggestion about where to place grass in our soon-to-be landscaped front yard. We laugh about it now, but at the time my idea seemed preposterous to a husband who makes a living in the landscape industry. Instead of delicately telling me my idea didn't make much sense, my husband disagreed with me in a... well, less than delicate way.

Thankfully, I learned some valuable lessons that day and in the days that have followed. (One of the lessons being to leave landscape design to my husband.) I'm no marriage expert, and I may be a newlywed compared to those celebrating golden anniversaries. But I can't deny that 15 plus years of marriage have taught me something.

1. Have a sore tongue

Having a sore tongue means you bite your tongue often, and that is good for a marriage. There are somethings that really can be overlooked. I have never heard my very organized and neat husband comment on the state of my side of the closet, and it's rare that I tell him how his ice cream dish magically gets to the kitchen sink almost every morning. Some things are best left unsaid.

2. Understand your spouse is NOT a mind-reader

Unless you met your spouse at a fortune-telling booth at the local county fair, chances are they do NOT mind-read. So when your spouse calls to say they are going to be late, don't throw a self-induced pity party because today was the day he was supposed to come bursting through the door with a bouquet of flowers commanding you to get in the car, because he's kidnapping you on an over-night getaway. Perhaps if you'd let him in on that little "expectation:" the I'm-going-to-be-late-phone-call would not have been quite so contentious.

3. Think before speaking

Need I say more? Some days I think I have the part of my brain missing that helps filter thoughts before they make it out of my mouth. Those are usually the days we have a (often one-sided) regrettable argument. Enough said.

4. Raise the praise

Even if your spouse forgot to run your time-sensitive errand, or he fell asleep instead of helping with homework, there is always some good to find. (Even if some days are harder than others to find it!) Who doesn't love praise and gratitude? Send a text, leave a note, write an email, or heaven forbid, say it to their face! The more praise you give, the more you'll get back, almost always guaranteed.

5. Make time together

At our house, chaos reigns supreme in the evenings. Everyone is hungry and tired, schedules are sometimes over-booked, teenagers want to talk, dripping-wet children can't find a towel and reading books can't be found. Oh, and the two people behind it all haven't said anything of any depth or meaning to each other all day. Sound familiar?

Do what it takes to change that. Lock a bedroom door, escape to the front porch, or sit on the couch and send everyone else outside. Make and take time for each other.

Will these ideas guarantee peace and harmony in your marriage from this day forward? Unfortunately, no. But they may help towards having one less argument, or saying one less unkind word.

Who wouldn't want that?

The post Is it possible to never argue with a spouse again? appeared first on FamilyToday.

A few months ago, I found myself loading my son's two goats into a trailer to take to the elementary school. For most of the school year, my 10-year-old talked incessantly to his class about his goat Hank, then in the previous few weeks he began adding stories of his newest goat, Lily. Perhaps, in an effort to quell the talking the teacher generously authorized a special "show and tell."

With my husband unavailable that day, I had to pull a trailer with two goats the 1.5 miles to school. It was the first time I had pulled a trailer, and I spent the short drive vacillating between fear that I would have to use reverse with the trailer attached, and excitement about the look I knew I would soon see on my son's face as he showed the goats to his peers.

The story behind our second child turning his city-raised parents into pseudo farmers is a story for another day. In the course of that happening, I've learned a few things that may be valuable to other parents, regardless of whether their children own goats, swim competitively, or perform with a marching band.

Keep an open mind

I will never forget the day I arrived home and found my son fully dressed in "western attire." I had been out of town for a couple of days, and my husband had taken it upon himself to fulfill my son's dreams of owning his very own pair of Wranglers. But, a new pair of jeans apparently wasn't enough. A cowboy hat, belt, and buckle were added to the one piece of cowboy attire (cowboy boots) my son had owned when I left town.

At this point, I had never stepped foot in a "western store," I had never sat on a horse, nor had I ever, in my wildest dreams, thought I would have a "cowboy" as a son.

Six years later, cowboy boots and hats, belt buckles, and roping ropes are strewn throughout our house. As our son has pulled us into a genre we never thought we'd be we have gained an appreciation and respect for the varied and unique interests we each have. (I'll even admit that owning a pair of red leather cowboy boots is on my bucket list.)

Listen and care

I have a teenage daughter who is musically talented. Recently, she began playing the organ for our church congregation. Several times, I sit in the church while my daughter practices. She experiments with the switches and pedals, and often asks for my opinion or reaction. Her musical talent does not come from my genes, and there are times I really can't tell a difference between one note she played and another. On one occasion, I'm ashamed to say I told her, "Just practice and quit telling me about it."

Then it occurred to me it wasn't my opinion she wanted, she wanted to share her excitement and enthusiasm about discovering a new organ technique. Even if, my untrained musical ear can't tell what is happening, I am learning to listen and show a genuine interest in her discoveries.

Stop hating

I am not a natural optimist. Negative thoughts usually come to my mind before positive ones. With that said, I have learned how vital a positive attitude is to supporting our children in their interests. I don't love hauling a heavy pedal harp to performances, nor do I like the smell of goat feed in the back of my car. I don't love gymnastics shows with crowds of overeager parents, but my children don't need to know that. Or more correctly, they don't need to hear me say that.

Seeing my son walk out the school doors last spring with a big smile on his face while his school class trailed behind him is a picture in my mind I hope I never forget. Likewise, I hope my son will forever remember the sight of his mother standing beside a trailer in the school parking lot trying to quiet down 2 loud goats.

It isn't about driving goats to school or driving children to football practice. It's about making what matters to our children, matter to us.

The post When your child loves quirky things appeared first on FamilyToday.

I was pleasantly surprised recently while in a store with my two youngest children, when my 5-year-old asked, "Can I make a chart to earn that truck and trailer?" Just as I was about to give myself a pat on the back, I found myself making a quick dash for the exit carrying my 3-year-old as his screams escalated, "I want to buy that toy." As I buckled him into his car seat with a little extra force, his cries continued, "I don't have one, I want it."

Instantly, any feeling good about my 5-year-old's desire to earn a toy were overshadowed by my 3-year-old's sense of entitlement. Despite being exasperated by my 3-year-old's tantrum, I praised my 5-year-old for the great idea he had about making a chart to earn a toy.

Not giving into temper-tantrum-filled-moments-of-want in the middle of a store have paid off with our older children. We're keeping our fingers crossed the 3-year-old is "going through a stage" and will jump on the "How to Earn It" bandwagon too.

Don't let me fool you, although I may have one or two positive results with the odd chore chart or allowance pay-offs, I am no parental expert. I could regale you for pages with experiences of handing out treats for a few moments of peace and quiet, or a sucker used to ward off an impending tantrum.

In my associations with other parents, I come across a lot of great ideas about implementing and carrying out systems of chores and allowance. Although my husband and I have experimented with a variety of different allowance systems, we have found a couple of guiding principles to be consistent.

1. Not all systems are 100% replicable

Too often, parents hear wonderful ideas from others and think they can easily replicate the system in their own home. We have never found this to be successful. Every family has different personalities, priorities and expectations that need to be considered before attempting to replicate an idea. Nearly all of our systems have come from ideas from others that we tweaked to work for us.

2. Switch things around frequently

For some, one tried and true allowance system will work from year to year. For us it hasn't worked that way. As our children grow older and take on more responsibilities, or as schedules change and adaptations become necessary, we aren't afraid to try something new.

We never consider a tried-system a failure. (Although the week I hid money under items waiting to be put away seemed like a massive failure to my children when I later told them the item they stepped over for a whole week no longer had money hiding under it, but they better put it away IMMEDIATELY.)

Even though we've gone through several systems over the years, we figure as long as we have something in place to help our children learn about work and rewards, we're doing okay.

3. Take cues from the children

My husband and I have the final say on how we distribute allowance and assign chores, but we welcome feedback from our children. (I won't mention the fact the feedback often comes with a whiny or full-of-attitude voice.) But the general principle remains the same, be open to making adjustments and changes. It's amazing how a small sense of ownership can make a huge difference in a child's attitude.

4. Have an end goal in mind

Before deciding on a particular chore chart or allowance system, decide what your object is. If the end goal is a clean house, pay the children to help clean. If you want your children to learn to recognize money comes from working hard, pay them for the job well done. If you want a child to want to do their jobs and tasks, reward the effort. Think about the end result you want, and the means to get there will become more obvious.

No two families are the same, chore charts and allowances needn't be either. Look at the systems you currently have, look around at those your peers may have, use some imagination and before you know it, you may have a fabulous system that works just right for YOUR family.

The post Making an allowance system work for you appeared first on FamilyToday.

Although, I am just as guilty as the next with the amount of influence I allow social media and the Internet to have in my family's life, I have done my best to narrow its influence and exposure just a little. Here are a few ideas:

Use sparingly

How much time do we spend reading about the minutia that fills the life of friends we rarely see and often care little about, versus picking up the phone or (heaven forbid!) walking across the street and talking in-person to a good friend and neighbor.

The Internet is fast, easy and oh, so convenient. But when was the last time you thought first to crack open your grandmother's old favorite cookbook you inherited instead of immediately going to the Internet to find something to do with that expiring carton of buttermilk in your fridge?

Recently my dear cousin called me at a somewhat inconvenient time as I was fixing dinner. I debated ignoring the call, but decided instead to multi-task, and I'm so glad I did. She was calling me to ask if I knew what could be the problem with her daughter's clarinet - it wasn't making any sound when she blew into it.

WHAT? Does she even know me? I have very little (if any) musical expertise, and I have never even touched a clarinet before in my life. When I suggested she "Google it" her response was obvious that this particular idea had never entered her mind! I LOVED THAT. She obviously uses the Internet sparingly enough that she doesn't think of it as a solution to every single problem. Though our phone conversation was brief, we connected a little about our lives the last few days, and put one more deposit into that proverbial relationship bank. Among other things, she consoled me about a recent upsetting day I had, (which ironically she had read via the Internet) and I left the phone conversation feeling grateful she didn't think to "Google" the clarinet problem, first.

Keep quiet

I'm sure all of our social media feeds have been recently inundated with the notable "ALS Ice Bucket Challenge." Whether you're for or against the specific phenomenon, one can't really argue with the awareness it has raised and the groups of people it has banded together for a common cause. The whole thing brings to attention the public nature of everything we do for a good cause.

Which, in and of itself, is wonderful. Goodness should be shared. After all, everyone likes a feel-good story. But there should be a careful balance between doing the good acts, but not always publicly announcing them. It seems one can't pull up the Yahoo homepage, or read a social media feed without seeing stories of waitresses getting large tips, or somebody serving a homeless person. Perhaps we'd all be better served to do a lot more things quietly and secretly. Meaning, can't one leave a large tip, or pay for everyone in line behind you in the drive-thru without bragging about it on social media? I know those stories are inspiring and often contagious, but so is the "pay-it-forward" mentality in general. Keep some of the good deeds quiet. Dump the proverbial bucket of ice on your head if and when you desire, but don't always feel the need to post the video.

Forget others

Don't let that heading scare you off. I know we should be thinking of others, but not in the way the Internet and social media causes us to think of others. Think of others when you are looking to serve someone, looking for a new friend or looking for someone to share a tray of brownies with. Forget others when you're wondering if your children are the only ones that aren't having their birthday party at the latest and greatest go-kart park, or if you frequently start planning your meals at 5:45 p.m. instead of having the month's menu written out on a nicely decorated printable in your "I Have It All Together" binder. And most certainly forget others when you're secretly eating a piece of chocolate so you don't have to share with your pre-schooler, while you read online about your friend's success going sugar-free for a month.

There is so much good out there in cyberspace. You know it from experience, as do I. But we also know all the over-stimulation and feelings of low self-worth, and general dissatisfaction that can come from spending too much time with our faces in front of a screen. Bask in the moment. Watch and bask in your children's excitement about their new first day of school outfits without having to share it with the world. Be present and enjoy the lunch with a friend without photographing your meal to share with people that probably don't even care what your Paleo diet can include.

We know generations before us survived just fine without the presence of the Internet in their lives. I'd love to say "adios" to all things online besides finding something last minute to do with my bag of thawed cooked chicken, and my treasured contact with old friends living across the pond. But I know that isn't a possibility, so, instead, I'll re-read this article and incorporate my own advice. Hopefully some of you will do the same.

Question: Do you frequently evaluate your Internet and social media usage? How do you balance the use of it in your life?

Challenge: Next time you have a "my clarinet isn't making any sound" type question, call a friend instead of going first to Google.

The post My love-hate relationship with all things cyber appeared first on FamilyToday.

Sticky floors remind me of fingerprints and cheesy Mother's Day cards and poems. (Which incidentally, I love.) You know the ones about the sticky fingerprints, and how one day we mothers will miss them and so a painted handprint of our young child's hand graces the front of a card. I'm a sucker for them every time. But that is on Mother's Day. The other 364 days of the year, fingerprints (and sticky floors) test my patience.

It's quite ironic that as I write this article, my son and his friend decided to have an ice cream cone. While taking a momentary break from typing to go and get a glass of water, there on the kitchen floor, I found four large round spots of melting ice cream. My son and his friend were nowhere to be found (fortunate for them), and so there was no one to clean up the mess but yours truly. I wasn't happy as I knelt down to paper-towel mop the orange mess. I could feel my blood pressure rising as I was doing my best to make sure no stickiness would remain, and then I remembered my trip to Target earlier in the day.

I was shopping with two of my children while another child stayed home babysitting the others. It was a pretty uneventful shopping trip. I enjoyed shopping with my two daughters for some new spring clothes.

As we climbed into the car, I saw a mother loading her three children into a nearby cart. The baby was crying, and the two others were settling into their cart seats. When I looked more closely, I realized it was a mother I knew, and I called a friendly greeting and wave her way. Although she was friendly back, I could see exasperation in her face as she pointed to the crying one1-year-old and said, "This isn't a good way to start a shopping trip."¯

My mother-heart felt an immediate kinship with her. I knew what she was experiencing. Except... I didn't anymore. As my 15-year-old and almost 10-year-old quietly seated themselves in the car, I realized I couldn't remember the last time I took several little children to the store with me! I wanted to yell out the window to her and tell her to relax, it won't last forever. But I didn't. I don't like it when people say it to me.

But I do try to say it to myself.

Like when my almost 5-year-old takes a bath, and it seems more water ends up on the bathroom floor than in the tub. Or when my 15-year-old leaves a trail of her belongings wherever she walks. Or when my 12-year-old gets so excited about something his goat is doing and insists I need to drop what I am doing and go watch right now. I tell it to myself when my 6-year-old has more food on his face than in his stomach, and when my 9-year-old leaves craft projects on my office floor.

I know the sticky floors and fingerprints and crying children at stores don't last forever. Unfortunately, neither do some of the good things. My 15-year-old doesn't love me hugging and kissing her as she walks out the door to school. My 12-year-old no longer brings me bouquets of weedy flowers. My 6-year-old rarely asks for a bedtime lullaby anymore, my 9-year-old never wears my high heels as dress ups, and my 5-year-old looks huge when I snuggle him on my lap.

It doesn't last forever.

Neither will whatever is wearing your patience thin.

There's a chance that tomorrow morning when I walk into my kitchen, I may stick to the remains of ice cream from my quick paper-towel mopping job. My initial reaction may be to raise my voice at my son, but maybe, just maybe, this time I'll remind myself to relax! It won't last forever.

The post Relax! This time of your life won’t last forever appeared first on FamilyToday.

That Friday night, a new family tradition was born - we began celebrating half birthdays.

We love birthdays at our house. Birthdays are a big deal. But slowly, yet surely, half-birthdays are creeping up as a close second. Even though we keep half-birthdays simple, that calendar date is anticipated weeks in advance. I mean, who doesn't want an excuse to eat chocolate cake?

Here are the four simple things we do to celebrate a half-birthday.

1. Bake half a cake

I always get lots of questions about the half a cake. It's easy. Cut a round cake in half and layer it. At our house, the half birthday cake is always chocolate cake with sprinkles. Mom's choice. Your real birthday, you pick. Your half-birthday, it's mom's pick.

2. Snap a candle in half

Place it in the cake and light it.

3. Sing

half of the traditional "Happy Birthday" song.

4. Half wrap

a small gift from the dollar store.

That's it. There's no party, no special dinner, no friends invited, no big gifts. Of course you can add your own twist to the event, but keep it simple and low stress, or the likelihood of it becoming a beloved family tradition is next to nil.

Like I said, half-birthdays are a big deal around here. So much so, that in the days leading up to my fifth child's birth, I lost sleep that he may be born on March 31st and therefore be exempt from ever having a half-birthday. September only has 30 days. Imagine my relief when he was born at 8:30 p.m. on March 30th, and therefore has a lifetime of half-birthdays ahead of him.

My daughter also understands the significance of half-birthdays, but learned the hard way that they aren't as significant to others. Her disappointment was apparent as she returned home from church on her 5-and-a-half-birthday a few years ago and lamented, "Nobody wished me a happy half-birthday."

Who doesn't want to add a little extra to an otherwise ordinary day - with very minimal effort? A definite advantage of this family tradition is half-birthdays have a set date marked on the calendar, and therefore won't end up on a one day we'll do it list. If you want to get really precise about the date, try this calculator.

Try it. Look up the next half-birthday at your house, and bake half a cake.

The post Half-birthday celebrations: An easy family tradition appeared first on FamilyToday.

I'm not typically a fan of surrounding myself with too many children besides my own, but regardless of my preferences the classroom is where you will find me offering volunteer hours this year. Recently, I had an experience that has changed my focus of the children around me.

Instead of following along with my small group reading a book, I found myself watching the children in the classroom. An annoying boy pestering his neighbor, a girl bossing others around and a girl with unkempt hair are a few things that caught my eye.

It seemed ironic that, at that moment, it was my son's turn to read. As I listened to him read flawlessly from the book, I felt a sudden wave of love and tender emotion for my son, who has come a long way from his refusal to learn basic sight-words in kindergarten, and his days of less-than-desirable-behavior in second grade. As I looked at my son, I realized another parent volunteer, or any adult for that matter, very likely looked at my son in the same way I was currently looking at the other children in the class.

I imagined myself loving the other children in the classroom with a similar love I felt for my son. Although it wasn't easy, I couldn't help but wonder what improvements we'd see if we were to love each other's children a little more.

In thinking about how to love others a little more, 3 things came to mind.

1. Accept them

Just minutes after having my "epiphany of sorts" in my older son's class, I sat in front of my child's kindergarten class to read a book to them. Before beginning to read, I was silently irritated by the boy attempting to do a somersault, and the girl who was gleefully poking the ear of the child next to her. In that moment, I did my best not to favor the dozen or so children sitting quietly and obediently waiting for the story. What did it matter if all 20+ children weren't focused for the duration of the book? I'm not naive in thinking my children have never been the annoying child in a group. Wouldn't we all want the same acceptance and kindness shown to our annoying children as the somersault or ear-poking parent would want shown to theirs?

2. Don't judge them

In a classroom in which I volunteered, there was a student who always hugged me. If the child wasn't hugging me, he was doing his best to get my attention. I let myself be annoyed by this young child and found myself wanting to avoid him. You can imagine how horrible I felt when a few weeks into this behavior, my child told me this particular classmate "doesn't have a mom, she died."¯ I was too quick to judge this young child as annoying, when really, he probably just wanted some love and affection from a classmate's mother. Indeed, a very humbling lesson to learn.

3. Love something

We would do well as adults in society to remind ourselves of the universal need we all feel to be loved. No matter our associations with children or the people around us as peers, leaders, subordinates, or equals, we should do our best to love something about a person. It will never be easy to love everyone fully, but start small. Love a person's smile, love their energy, even start by superficially loving an item of clothing they own. The point is to start somewhere today to love something about someone that needs loving.

The idea of accepting, not judging and loving other people is nothing new, but it seems too often we forget to do it. Whether we are mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles, or brothers and sisters, we owe it to each other to love each other's children, nieces and nephews, and siblings. I speak from experience that the task isn't easy. I have a hard enough time liking my own children all the time, let alone loving others.

Last week, I removed my focus from my son and looked around the classroom more closely. I saw your children. Some were pestering their neighbors some were working quietly, others were acting like an animal at the zoo. I took the time to look at my children and your children.

As a mother, I am committed to loving them all a little bit more.

The post 3 ways to love other children more appeared first on FamilyToday.

I remember very little about the specific family activity ideas shared that evening, but I have never forgotten that story. Although my children were very young at the time, I committed there and then that my children would always be thrilled to come home after school.

OK, so that hasn't always happened like I planned. Often times my children come home to a list of chores waiting for them, or they walk in the door greeted by me on the phone motioning for them to be quiet, or they enter the house only to be asked to re-enter in hopes that the backpacks and shoes won't be strewn about in the same way they were the first time they entered. Some days I'm engrossed in a project and can barely manage a "How was your day?"

And then there are those other days. Those days when my children's faces light up as soon as they walk into the kitchen and lay their eyes on the piece of paper taped to the pantry door. As soon as my children see the paper, they know they're about to embark on a treasure hunt. Suddenly the ordinary routine of coming home from school has a little extra fun added to it.

The clues for the treasure hunt are never anything more than a few words thrown together simply because they rhyme. These clues lead my children all around the house and - depending on the weather - outside.

There is nothing quite like seeing children race around together in search of what they know will rarely be anything more than a simple after-school snack. But really, who wouldn't want to find a plate of cookies in the bathtub, or a box of crackers in the piano bench?

Things don't always go smoothly. We have yet to have a treasure hunt without hearing one of the children say "Slow down, you're going too fast" or "You're mean; you said I could read the next clue." But despite this, everyone still really enjoys the activity. Even my teenager still follows along - albeit with a lot less enthusiasm than she used to.

You'd think based on the reaction my children give me when they see a treasure hunt is planned, that I'd choose to do them more frequently. But the truth is, I don't do them as much as I should. It's possible that some days I'm not as ready to welcome them home as others, or that I'm too worn out and tired to start rhyming words and scattering clues. Really though, I think I spread out the treasure hunts to keep them special. I do it to keep them wondering if today will be the day that they'd miss out on something exciting if they didn't come straight home.

Most days are ordinary come-home-from-school-and-begin-the-typical-after-school-routine days. But every once in a while, a little extra comes along in the form of poor poetry and an after-school snack. And quite suddenly an ordinary day is not quite so ordinary.

Place a box of crackers on a closet shelf, or a plate of sliced apples on top of the washing machine and send your children searching. You might just find a few smiles and laughter thrown in an otherwise very routine day.

The post Treasure hunts add something extra to an ordinary day appeared first on FamilyToday.

My son found no motivation in the nice man's comment; instead he turned to me and said, "I would never regret it if I never played the piano ever again."¯

My son is almost eleven. I'm a couple of years away from being forty. I see the big picture a little more clearly than he does, which is why he (and my other children) are required to practice music daily. Many days it is a struggle to get our children to practice without a fight, but believe it or not, lately things in the music department around here have run a little smoother.

I think these reasons may be helpful:

1. Be willing to compromise

Understand or decide why a child involved in music is important to you. This will likely be different for each child. For one, it may be a way to learn self-discipline. Another, may seek to fit with family tradition, or for another, it may be to bloom their natural talent. Perhaps, it will be a trade-off for another extra-curricular activity. Whatever the reason, it will help determine the level of intensity and priority the music lessons and practice are given.

2. Offer incentives

The potential of a music scholarship or one day marching with the high school band is not a goal (or reality) for every child involved in music. Determine what makes your child want to practice. Perhaps, the satisfaction of a well-learned piece of music, or a content music teacher, or a happy parent isn't enough. Offer money! Require music practice in exchange for extra-curricular activities they do love, or have a penalty of paying for the weekly music lesson if practicing isn't done. Again, consider how influential the involvement in music is to you, and incentivize accordingly. After a while, the incentives may be able to decrease as the child begins to love their music involvement more. (It happened to one of my children. With another, the incentives continue to be a must.)

3. Keep an open mind

My husband and I fought for almostĀ two years with one of our children to play the piano. Lessons were a nightmare and practicing produced tears and contention. Yet, we both felt strongly that this child needed to have some musical involvement. After only two years of lessons, we allowed this child to stop taking lessons. However, he is still required to play the piano every day in exchange for participating in the activities of his choosing. He works at his own pace, he plays what he wants, and gets to choose how long to play. Adjusting my narrow-minded vision of all of my children enrolled in weekly piano lessons was life changing in our home.

4. Help them see the rewards of their efforts

Who doesn't like praise? Allow the children opportunities to perform for other people. Even the most basic version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star will cause someone to smile. Encourage recitals, or playing while family or friends sing. Take the children to a rest home or allow them to play at a family party. Not only may their confidence increase, but they'll feel a sense of accomplishment for those seemingly endless hours of practice. Try recording their practice session sometime and then record it again months later. Hearing and seeing their own progression may be very motivating for them.

How you get your children to practice music without a fight may be very different from how I do it, but the general principles are the same. Our results will be varied. Some of our children may end up playing at Carnegie Hall, some may accompany a choir, some will receive a musical scholarship, and some will never touch an instrument, again, when they leave home.

At the end of the day, at least we'll be able to say we tried.

The post How to get your child to practice music without a fight appeared first on FamilyToday.

I can't say things have changed much. I admit to crying when I sign life insurance papers, or turning off the news when there are reports of earthquakes, and I feel mild anxiety whenever a meeting discusses emergency plans.

Believe it or not, there are a couple of valuable lessons I have learned as I have done my best to prepare myself and my family for an emergency, should one occur.

Prepare in General

Six months into marriage, found me in the peak of canning season. Following the example of my mother and grandmother, I found myself stopping at fruit stands. Before long, I had pantry shelves lined with all sorts of bottled fruits and vegetables. Though there are only a couple of items I, now, can myself, I think back to that first winter season and the stocked pantry shelves as the beginning of my efforts to store extra food.

With five young mouths to feed, there has not always been extra money in our grocery budget to buy a lot of extra. But with careful planning, shopping sales and wise choices, our food supply slowly grew.

Almost two years ago, we reaped the benefits of those general preparations. For several months, we relied on what was in our pantry and freezer. Due to a brief period of unemployment, and with no income coming in, trips to the grocery store were rare. Yet, we never went hungry. We never ran out of food.

Lesson learned? Just prepare. Don't specifically plan around one event. I realized all the wasted energy (and stress!) I spent wondering what to store for what kind of disaster was needless. When we needed our stocked shelves the most, there was no inability to heat or prepare food, nor a lack of shelter or warmth. We had temporarily lost the ability to purchasefood. What a blessing it was to have some stored.

A Peace of Mind

In January 2010, an earthquake struck Haiti. Despite it being thousands of miles away from me, I felt anxiety for days as I reflected on my own lack of preparations should such an event happen closer. I spent days justifying my lack of 72-hour kit preparations as being fruitless should they become crushed under a crumbled house. Instead of taking any action, I quit watching the news reports.

A month later, a major earthquake struck Chile. The next day, I pulled out a 2-person 72 hour kit we'd received a few years previously, and made a list of what I needed to expand it to meet the needs of my family. I spent 2 days buying and organizing essential items to keep 7 people alive should an emergency strike. That night, I watched news coverage of the devastation in Chile, and I felt a peace of mind.

I wish I could say I included in those kits every possible item needed in an emergency, but I didn't. Even as I write this, I know there are no extra set of clothes for anyone included in them, and I'm quite certain the food has expired. (Mental note to add that to my to-do list.)

I wish I could say I feel no anxiety about the topic of being prepared, but I can't. I'll admit I got a racing heart recently when reading an ariticle about preparing a family for an emergency. I spent the remainder of the day feeling uneasy as I thought about all the things I don't have ready.

But there are a lot of things I do have stored ready to use should a need arise, and when I think of those things, I feel a peace of mind.

I may not have a basement full of wheat, or a years supply of rice, but I have come to know and understand that putting at least some thought and effort into a few emergency preparations give me a certain peace of mind.

That has to count for something.

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