I polled some of my friends on Facebook to see what others thought about these two words. Some had negative thoughts about it, but most were positive and I was very surprised and happy by what I read. Here are some the answers I received:

Negative Thoughts

• "Divorce court." - Renee

• "An ending." - Nikki

Positive Thoughts

• "Working out small or large problems." - Briana

• "People who need help with communication and understanding each other in a relationship." - Jane

• "Restoration, hope, and vulnerability." - Susan

• "That the marriage is worth fighting for and when one spouse or both bring it up, it means they care enough to want to stay together." - Christina

• "Self care." - Aprille

• "Tough conversations that can save a marriage." - Kristi

There is a stigma attached to the words "marriage counseling." Most people think that it's only necessary when there is a problem in the marriage or as a last resort before divorce. I'd like to propose a different line of thought: I think everycouple needs and deserves to go to marriage counseling. Here's why:

Every Couple Should Go to Marriage Counseling Because"�

1. Every Couple Needs it

You may not realize it yet, but your marriage needs counseling. Every marriage does. Marriage counseling isn't just for those whose marriages are on the verge of ending, but for anyone who wants to strengthen and protect their marriage, help it last longer and grow.

2. Pre-marital Counseling is not Enough

Pre-marital counseling can sometimes be a requirement before a minister will marry you. My husband and I both went to pre-marital counseling and it was good, but why stop there? Why only go to counseling before you get married, but not continue it throughout your marriage?

Pre-marital counseling it not enough. All couples need someone to check in on them to see how they are doing, to be a go-between, a mediator, an advocate, and an encourager. It should be with someone who knows the couple well and has followed them along their journey. This is what marriage counseling is about.

3. Good Communication is Important

Communication is one of the most important aspects of marriage. If you don't have good communication, then things tend to get blown out of proportion and arguments break out. A marriage counselor can help you navigate communication and teach you both how to communicate with each other better.

Communication is one of the big things my husband and I worked on when we went to marriage counseling. I didn't realize how different we really were until I saw how differently we both communicate things and that we both needed to be more understanding of that. Learning better communication changed our marriage in a big way.

4. Every Relationship Needs Maintenance

I like the example my friend Katie gave me. She likened marriage to a car:

"Let's say you buy a brand new car and it's beautiful and shiny and new. You love driving it around and you love bragging about it. But then as time goes on it hits some bumps in the road, has a fender bender and some accidents. None of those may have been a choice, they probably just happened, but you have to fix all of those things and you have to do routine maintenance too. You have to change the oil, check the brakes, and get the car filled with gas.

When you start out in marriage you have this bright, shiny, new relationship. Everything is new and perfect and wonderful. After the big day, you have a journey that you are on together. It's not about it being shiny and bright, it's about being real and having to stick together to maintain your relationship.

Some believe there is negative connotation about maintaining your relationship. It can be made to sound like you are just doing the bare minimum, but really this is the foundation of your marriage. You have to make sure you both check in with each other, check on your schedules, your faith, and where you are in your individual journey as people, as parents and as a married couple. That's what maintenance is all about."

5. It Helps Keep Your Marriage Strong

Like I said above, marriage counseling can help strengthen your communication. But that's not the only thing it's good for. It can strengthen you both as a couple and it can strengthen you both as individuals. When you go to marriage counseling and you sit there, you learn how to make your relationship better in every way. You are strengthening your relationship. When you go home and you put these things into practice, you are strengthening you relationship. When you walk out of there and are done, you are both stronger for it. My husband and I went to marriage counseling during one of the toughest parts of our lives. Our daughter has been in and out of hospitals numerous times, our son had autism and it was a very stressful time. But each time we came out of those sessions, I felt stronger. Our bond was stronger, our marriage was stronger, our communication was stronger. We put those things into practice and I still rely on them today.

6. It Helps You Work Out Problems Before They Start

You may not have any marital problems, but maybe there are a few things you just need a third unbiased opinion on. Seeing a counselor can help you find and solve issues before they become big problems. Taking care of these things can save you a lot of time and heartache and is a big part of the "maintenance" part of marriage.

A lot of times couples don't even realize that there is a problem. Maybe one spouse is angry or bitter about something, but is keeping it to themselves. Or maybe there is something that's been a problem and no one wanted to bring it up. Having a counselor as a mediator can help, and having that different point of view and perspective on your marriage is invaluable.

7. Every Relationship Deserves the Best

Your marriage deserves the best! It is a symbol of love and all your hopes and dreams. Don't you think that something like that deserves it's best chance? That's what marriage counseling does. It keeps your relationship at its best because you deserve the best. No one should have to settle for anything less.

Editor's note: This article was originally published on Kathryn Sneed's blog, Singing Through the Rain. it has been republished here with permission.

The post Why every couple should go to marriage counseling appeared first on FamilyToday.

God can hear you no matter where you are. The Bible says, "If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me." (Psalm 139:8-10)

Even though there is no wrong way to pray and no wrong place to pray, there still might be some things of which you are unsure. Here are a few tips and resources to get you started:

1. The Lord's Prayer

One of the best examples of a prayer is in the Bible when Jesus' disciples asked Him how to pray. He answered them with this prayer:

"Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen." (Matthew 6:9-13)

This a good prayer with which to start if you are not sure what else to say. It really includes everything: praise, thanksgiving, and repentance; and shows us the way to prayer. You can use this prayer to begin your prayer time and learn from it as a good example of what to include.

2. Prayer Books

There are a lot of books out there that have beautiful prayers written in them that you can pray. There are even apps nowadays that have prayers and examples of prayers to get you started. The prayers in these books are usually categorized by topic so that you can choose which prayers you want to pray that day. It's also a good starting place as you can recite one of the prayers from the book and then continue with your own prayers.

3. "Power of a Praying..." books

There are other books that can help lead you through prayer. Author, Stormie Omartian has a series of books called, "Power of a Praying..." that offers formats depending on your role. Whether you are a wife, friend, husband, sister, or brother, it provides you with ways to pray as one of those people.

4. Use a prayer journal

Another favorite way to pray is through a prayer journal. Buy a special journal and use it to write your prayers to God in its beautiful pages. You can write it like a letter to a friend or as a diary entry. It's easy to let the words flow when you are writing a beautiful prayer to God.

5. Make time to pray

Once you have some of these resources to help you, set a time each day that you can pray. We already know there is no wrong or right place, so pray anywhere in your home, or even in the car. It doesn't have to be at the same time every day, but many people like to pray in the mornings so that they start their day talking to God. You can designate a time every day to have peaceful prayer with God, or you can talk to Him as you go about your daily work schedule and chores.

6. Talk to God like you are talking to a friend

Remember, talk to God like you are talking to a friend or family member. You can tell Him about your day, thank Him for the blessings in your life, ask Him for help in any areas that you may be struggling, or pray for another friend or family member. He doesn't care how you pray, just that you talk to Him. He wants to hear from you.

The post How to pray appeared first on FamilyToday.

People have been writing about love for centuries, and we have the literature and quotes to prove it. It's a universal topic and one that will never grow old! Everyone is different and has their favorite quotes about love, but here are my top ten favorites that are great for any marriage (in no particular order):

1. "Marriage: Love is the reason. Lifelong friendship is the gift. Kindness is the cause. And til death do us part is the length." - Fawn Weaver
2. "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu
3. "You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person." - Anonymous
4. "Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale." - Anonymous
5. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." - Mignon McLaughlin
6. "Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day." - Nicholas Sparks
7. "Marriage is getting to have a sleepover with your best friend, every single night of the week." - Christie Cook
8. "In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine." - Maya Angelou
9. "Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile." - Elizabeth Browning
10. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." - The Bible (I Corinthians 13:4)

The post Top 10 love quotes for married couples appeared first on FamilyToday.

Age

The first thing to think about is how old you want your sitter to be. Are you ok with a teenager watching your kids, or would you rather have an adult? Most adults already have jobs so sometimes it can be hard to find someone older (unless they already have kids and don't mind taking yours on too). Teenagers can be a great help, but if it's your first time you may want someone a little older.

Another age group to think about are college students. A lot of college students are looking to earn a little extra cash to get by, and they are also old enough to have some experience. If you are not sure what age to go with or if you don't have a preference, the next thing to look for would be how experienced they are.

Experience

How much experience would you like your sitter to have? Do you want someone who has had years of experience in babysitting or being a nanny? Maybe you would rather have someone with personal experience such as children of their own. No matter what you choose, make sure that your sitter has some type of experience before you allow them to stay with your child. A great way to know if a person would make a wonderful babysitter or if they have previous experience would be to ask to see their references.

References

When interviewing potential sitters, one of the first things to ask for would be their references so you can find out about their previous experiences with children. A good sitter should be able to provide at least three or more references of families that they have worked for in the past. When calling these references, make sure to ask about the sitter's experience, how many children they watched and what ages, and if they would recommend them to watch your child. Having good references can make a huge difference and give you peace when deciding on which sitter to choose.

Availability

Another thing to think about when choosing a sitter is the sitter's availability and schedule. Are they able to work the days you need? Will they have to take some days off because of other needs or will they be able to be there every time or almost every time you need them? If the sitter you choose has their own children, keep in mind that sickness, school problems, or other child-related issues may be a problem when it comes to availability.

Interview

Lastly, but also the most important, would be to take the time to interview your sitter. Keep in mind all the tips above and have a list of questions that you may want to ask them. Have them spend time with your child and see how they relate to and act around them. You may even want to have a separate trial run when you are at home. Ask them to come over to play with your child while you get some housework done. This will give you peace of mind about leaving your child alone with them for the first time.

Not sure where to start in finding people to interview? Care.com and Sitter City are great places to start!

The post How to decide on your first babysitter appeared first on FamilyToday.