Being a good parent is serious business.

We're juggling soccer practice with potty training. We are simultaneously cooking dinner as we help with a science fair project. Not only are we required to teach good values to our children, but also emulate those qualities ourselves. And don't even get me started on the parent guilt we feel on the days we fall short. Sadly, the good intentions and never-ending "to-do" lists can turn us into parent-bots. We go through the motions of every day becoming so fixated on the end result or "what's next" that we lose our sight of what truly matters most: our family. And when we start to take life too seriously, not only does our sense of well-being suffer, but ultimately our family life takes a hit.

So what's the cure? Sure, you can go get a massage, do some yoga, have a Netflix marathon night, take a nap or eat a slice (or two) of cheesecake to loosen up. Every parent needs a little escape from the stresses of parenthood. But lately I've discovered that the daily treatment in finding a more relaxed, happier version of ourselves is to take a few lessons from the very people who make us want to tear our hair out. That's right. If we truly want to become a better parent and person today, our kids have a thing or two to teach us on how to find happiness in our day-to-day routines.

Be honest with yourself

Kids, particularly the younger ones, are a walking truth serum. They have no qualms in telling you how they really feel about the dinner you just made or how Aunt Sue smells funny. As cute (or embarrassing) as it is to hear the things that come out of those little mouths, we can learn a lot from them. In fact, we need that honesty when it comes to what we allow to fill up our hours in the day.

When you plan your week, truthfully ask yourself: "Do I really need to do all of these things? Did I say 'yes' to too many favors when I really wanted to say 'no?' Am I just being busy for the sake of being busy?" Being honest with yourself about what takes up your precious moments is the difference between a happy parent and one who's running on fumes. Simplify and be truthful about what really needs to be on your agenda and you'll find a more flexible easy-going version of yourself. And so will your kids.

Laughter is the best medicine

Kids can put a funny spin on any moment at any time. They don't wait until they have finished the task at hand. They are silly in the mundane moments of doing homework and getting ready for bed.

Not only does a little laughter have the potential of diffusing tension and bad feelings, but it puts things in perspective as to what matters most. So your Pinterest birthday cake was a disaster? Guess what? Your 3-year-old daughter didn't even notice. But now you've got a good story to tell and pictures to prove it.

Laughter is not just a good idea. According to scientific research, a good chuckle has the power to relax the body, boost the immune system, trigger the release of endorphins and protect your heart against cardiovascular problems. So make an effort to find the humor in the everyday moments. Your well-being and family life will thank you for it.

Forgive and forget

One of the best traits I have found in my children is the ability to forgive quickly.

Not long ago, I had one of those parenting days where I had lost my cool one too many times with my son. Later, I gave him a tearful apology. My son's quick response both touched and amazed me: "It's okay mommy. You just had a hard day. I still love you." He didn't even think twice about forgiving me! And he expressed how much he still cared for me, even though I felt I was undeserving of his love. In that moment, I learned the importance of letting things go and to not only be more gentle and loving toward those around me, but especially with myself.

This parenting thing is a tough gig. Let's cut ourselves some slack (as well as those around us) by applying this simple phrase: Forgive, forget and move on.

Be present

I've always envied the way kids can just play at a park and not even care what time it is. It's true that kids don't carry the burdens and responsibilities of adults, but at the same time there is something to be said about being present for each moment of the day. When you are on a family outing is it hard to resist checking your email or the latest sports stats? When your kids are trying to tell you about their day are you thinking about what's next on your list? According to this article, multitasking is really just another form of distraction, not productivity. If you want to enjoy life more, learn to unplug from technology and your "to-do" list and focus on what - or more importantly - who matters most. You may discover that your days feel more complete not by the amount of checkmarks next to your tasks, but because of the connections made with those you care about most.

Being a good parent is one taxing job that is definitely not for the faint of heart. But don't let those good intentions overshadow the most important people in your life. With a little honesty, laughter, forgiveness and being present for each moment, you will not only discover a happier version of yourself but a richer, more peaceful home life.

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We're all guilty of doing it. It happens so fast that most of us don't even give it a second thought. Even the strongest marriages fall victim to this destructive tendency: the "if-then" game.

If my husband would pick up after himself then I would be happy. If she didn't nag me so much then I'd actually enjoy being around her. If he added a little more romance to our lives then we'd have a stronger bond. If she was more flexible about things then it would totally change how I feel about her.

We're all human. We all have our bad habits, oversights and down-right annoying quirks. But last time I checked, the only person we ultimately have the power of changing in a marriage is ourself. Sure, you can continue to roll your eyes when another expectation isn't met. You can vent to coworkers about his 10 highly irritating traits. You can even go to counseling in hopes that she will finally understand your point of view.

But If you want to see positive changes in your marriage, let the change start with you. Here are four questions to ask yourself about your marriage. When answered honestly, the answers may surprise you.

Am I taking him/her for granted?

Sometimes our own situations are better than we realize. Once, my husband and I were on a double-date with another couple and we had our 4-month-old son with us. When we were out of ear-shot from the men, my friend caught me off-guard by telling me how very attentive and loving my husband was with our son. I felt a bit embarrassed when I agreed with her, because I realized that I couldn't remember the last time I had given a heartfelt 'thank you' to my husband for all of his efforts with our children. But boy did I know how to remind him of how irritatied I am when he forgets to hang up his wet towel, or help our daughter with her reading assignment. Don't wait for a special occasion (or until a third party has to point it out) to tell your spouse how grateful you are for all that they do. Start noticing all the things they do right today, and you may be amazed at the change you see in both of you.

Do I sweat the small stuff?

One thing I have learned thus far in marriage is that the small stuff really is the big stuff. How we treat each other through our daily interactions has a large impact on the quality and happiness of a marriage. Do you find yourself getting hung up on minor details, or things that don't really matter? Do you blame your bad mood on someone else for not meeting your high expectations? I am reminded of the quote by Family Advocate Thomas S. Monson, "Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." When you come home to a messy house, grab your spouse, give her a hug and let her know you're there to help. When he backs the car into the mailbox, realize it's just a car — and it's just a mailbox. Keep in the forefront of your mind that it is much easier to repair things than it is to repair a marriage. Choose your battles and your words wisely.

Do I see the good in him/her?

Remember when you were dating and neither one of you could do any wrong? A minor oversight while driving was humorous. Being late was not considered rude, but completely understandable and forgivable. But something changes after we say "I do." Suddenly one, or both of us, is the expert driver and quick to let the other know. And being late to an appointment has become the unpardonable sin. Criticism breeds criticism. We all have enough critics in our lives. Resolve today to look for the good, as well as remember the more endearing qualities that made you fall in love in the first place.

Does he/she really know I love and care for him/her?

It's far too easy to get caught up in the mundane routine of life. Sometimes we let our to-do lists get in the way of the one who matters most to us - our spouse. Sometimes we wait around for the other to make the first move, say "I love you" or offer a hug after a long day. Decide today to freely show how much you truly care. Make her dinner. Send a random text simply expressing your appreciation. Bring home a favorite dessert just because. If you truly want to feel more loved by your spouse, show your love for your spouse first.

Remember, you can wish all day long for your spouse to act, look or be a certain way, or you can decide today to change your marriage for the better by first changing yourself. Instead of waiting for a better marriage, choose to create a better marriage.

The post Why leaving your spouse out of your marriage is so vital appeared first on FamilyToday.

As much as Hollywood likes to sell us on the love-at-first-sight romance movies filled with cute one-liners and happy-ever-after ending, real life doesn't work that way. Marriage is a huge commitment. Sometimes while dating one or both partners have a tendency to ignore red flags or think, "After we get married, those things will just sort themselves out." If you are seriously considering tying the knot with the man in your life, here are a few questions to ask yourself to make sure he is "the one."

Does he have goals and ambitions?

When you commit to spending the rest of your life with someone, you not only commit to him, but his work ethic, his time management and how those things will affect your future family. Does he take his job or goals in life seriously? Is he wise with his time and money? Does he set goals or have a plan of what he wants to do with his life?

Yes, life happens and the economy isn't perfect. but if you feel he's lazy, often blows off work obligations or is unable to hold down a job, those things are a major red flags. In this case, you will want to reassess your relationship.

How does he behave under stress?

Particularly in the beginning of a relationship, we are all on our best behavior - especially when we're really into someone. We tend to hide some of our shortcomings and character flaws. Try to take note of how your guy reacts in a variety of situations. It's easy to smile and put on your best self when you're enjoying a nice dinner together or taking long walks on the beach. How does he react when he has a pressing deadline or he's stuck in rush hour traffic? Can he keep his cool in difficult situations or is he easily provoked?

Keep in mind we are all human and it's impossible to find someone who is happy 100 percent of the time. Bottom line: Find someone who can roll with the punches, who lessens not adds to your own stress, and doesn't make you feel like you're walking on eggshells when problems arise.

How does he handle conflict in the relationship?

When you have a difference of opinion or misunderstanding, does he shut you out or does he want to talk things through? Does he try to validate your feelings or is he more concerned about being right? Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. You take two people with different backgrounds and personalities and there will inevitably be a disagreement at some point. I like these words by Family Advocate Bruce C. Hafen in regards to conflict: "The difference between a successful and an unsuccessful marriage is not in whether there are such times of tension, but in whether and how the tensions are resolved."

Does he give you wings or suffocate you?

When you tell him about being accepted into a masters program or how you would love to get into photography, does he encourage and support you? Does he make you feel capable and strong or does he belittle your aspirations and feel threatened by your successes? Especially when it comes your dreams, you want someone who will buoy you up, not hold you back from all you can become.

Does he have any addictions?

Pornography, excessive alcohol consumption, drug use and wasting large amounts of time playing video or computer games are several huge red flags. Be wary of someone who may be hiding such behavior and don't turn a blind eye if you suspect something is amiss. You don't want to marry someone who you think you can fix or who exhibits reckless or impulsive behavior. This is your life and happiness at stake. Bringing uncontrolled addictions into a marriage is just a recipe for misery and guarantees a life of hardship.

Does he respect you?

This one is a biggie. Sometimes we can mistake our partner's feedback as constructive criticism, when really it's just a sneaky way of saying, "I want you to be, act or look a certain way." When you offer your opinion, is he sarcastic or condescending? Or, do you feel heard and valued? Do you feel you have to act or look a certain way around him to feel loved or accepted? When considering your future spouse and father for you children, choose someone who will treat you as his equal, who will respect you as his partner, lover and friend.

Am I a happier, better person because of him?

Probably one of the best indicators of knowing if he is your Mr. Right is that you feel like a better person for knowing him. Yes, his text messages give you butterflies and his hugs and kisses make you melt like butter. But do you truly cherish and enjoy your time together and do you feel like he builds you up and brings out your best qualities? Are you a happier, more complete person because he is a part of your life?

Marriage takes work, it takes commitment and a high degree of patience and tolerance from both partners. Don't get so caught up in the idea of marriage that you don't stop to evaluate the person with whom you will share everything emotional, mental and physical. When considering whether your man is truly marriage material, remember these wise words from Family Advocate David O. McKay: "During courtship we should keep our eyes wide open, but after marriage keep them half-shut."

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We live in a world that is always pulling for our time, energy and attention. We have phones that connect us with loved ones, but at the same time give hourly score updates and emails from work. We have jobs that bring us security and money, but if we're not careful, can create distance from those in our homes. We have children who need help with homework and rides to and from extracurricular activities. With so many things demanding so much from us, how do we make quality time for those with whom we share our life? Here are a few simple things you can start doing today to help strengthen relationships with the people in your home.

Limit time with electronic devices

. Smart phones and laptops aren't bad, but how we use them can become problematic if it's in excess. When your spouse or child walks through the door, make efforts to put away or silence devices that may distract from having meaningful conversations. Ask them about their day and practice truly listening to their answers. If they see us sincerely trying to invest in their life - even for just a few moments each day - they will feel more valued and secure in our relationship with them. Here are some tips on how to be a better listener.

Smile and make eye contact

When your son is telling you about the funny thing that happened to him at school, don't just give him an "uh-huh" while you load the dishes. Look into his eyes and give him a smile. It'll help remind you to slow down while letting him know that he is what matters most. Other things can wait.

Show more physical affection

Jürgen Sandkühler, head of the Centre for Brain Research at the Medical University of Vienna, discovered that hugging a loved one can reduce stress, fear and anxiety as well as lower blood pressure and improve memory performance.

We all carry around our own burdens and worries. Sometimes all it takes is a long hug or tender kiss from those we love to ease our anxieties and send the message that we are not alone in our daily battles.

Random acts of kindness

. I can still remember the year my mom asked each sibling to be a "secret pal" to another family member. We spent a week doing random service for that person, whether it was doing one of her daily chores or sneaking a favorite candy bar into her sock drawer. It taught us to look outside of ourselves and strengthened our unity as a family.

Schedule family time

Calendars can fill up so fast during a single week. Be careful not to allow lots of good things to take precedence over the most important thing - our families. Carve out quality time for each other. You can do this by designating a certain night each week as "family night," giving each child their own date night once a month, making dinnertime more of a priority - not a last minute thought, or simply by getting family members involved in projects around the house. It doesn't really matter what you do but that you are consistent with your efforts in showing the people in your life that they are what matter most.

If you feel like your family bond could use a little TLC, practice a few of these tips today and remember these wise words from Family Advocate Dieter F. Uchtdorf: "In family relationships, love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time."

The post How to strengthen your family bond appeared first on FamilyToday.

So how do we make it stop? It all starts with changing how we think and look at the world around us.

Take note of your strengths

One of the easiest ways to derail the toxic habit of putting others on a pedestal and taking jabs at yourself is to write or make a mental note of some of your accomplishments and talents. It could be as simple as reveling in how well you reorganized that hallway closet. Maybe let yourself be grateful for your ability to talk or connect with people so easily. Remember how you got your son to try a new food (which is no small feat with his picky eating habits)? Or finally, just practice graciously accepting a compliment - instead of deflecting it. These little efforts will allow for much happier self-images as well as help you kick the habit of constantly comparing yourself with those around you.

Differences are good a thing

. So maybe you aren't the marathon runner like your neighbor down the road. So what if you're overwhelmed by the thought of throwing a Pinterest party like that mom on Facebook (who's clogging up your news feed with her creativity)? It's OK. You know why? Because you can make someone laugh, you are smart with money, you have no shame in going to the grocery store in sweatpants and slippers, you have a great smile, you know how to make a killer crème brûlée, you still have all your hair - and your spouse and children love you for it. Differences shouldn't be hidden or belittled, they should be celebrated and carefully displayed as what makes you unique. What makes you, you.

Surround yourself with people who love and accept you for you

We all have those people in our lives who love to compare and it can be a conversation killer and robber of joy. Piece of advice: Don't allow them to be a permanent presence in your life. If you don't have much control over that, tell them how you feel - or find ways to redirect the conversation. Say something like, "You know, I really wish weight wasn't such a hot topic. I feel there is more to people than their jean size. Do you mind if we discuss something else?"

You really never know someone's story

One of my favorite songs has this profound line in it: "In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that the eye can't see." How many times have we misjudged someone or felt jealous because their life seemed so rosy and complete on the outside? I find in moments like this we need to remember this quote by Scottish author and theologian, Ian Maclaren, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

We don't know another's heart, inner struggles or pain. Each of us are doing the best we know how in this life and could use more love and fewer eyes of envy.

Be mindful of your little audiences

Remember the small eyes and ears that absorb everything we say. How is your daughter supposed to grow up with a healthy self-esteem if you are so fixated with getting your body back - no matter the cost? She will internalize that what truly matters in life is what the scales say, how her jeans fit and that having a child messes up those goals for a perfect body life. If we are wary of what we say and how it may affect the lives of little ones with whom we share our lives, it will help us nip the comparing game in the bud as well as set a better example for those we love.

Avoid or limit time with social network or blogs

. Dr. Ethan Kross, social psychologist at the University of Michigan, conducted a study where he discovered that frequent use of social media can be linked to feelings of sadness. He says, "On the surface, Facebook provides an invaluable resource for fulfilling the basic human need for social connection, but rather than enhance well-being, we found that Facebook use predicts the opposite result - it undermines it."

Consider limiting the amount of time you spend on social networking sites or blogs. Also, keep in mind that what you see on Facebook is only a small moment in another person's life - so don't measure your bad day with their good one. I'm reminded of the quote by Lead Pastor Steven Furtick, "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."

Practice being truly happy for another person's successes

I love what Family Advocate Jeffrey R. Holland said about jealousy. "Envy is a mistake that just keeps on giving. Obviously we suffer a little when some misfortune befalls us, but envy requires us to suffer all good fortune that befalls everyone we know! What a bright prospect that is - downing another quart of pickle juice every time anyone around you has a happy moment!"

So be truly genuine in congratulating others on their good fortune. It can only add to - not lessen - your own happiness.

In a world so bent on making us feel like we never have enough or are enough, let us resolve today to be a little kinder to ourselves and those around us. For when we stop comparing our lot with our neighbors, only then will we discover a life that is richer and more complete than we ever thought possible.

The post How to stop comparing and start loving yourself now appeared first on FamilyToday.

You and your spouse are expecting a bundle of joy and feel more than ready for his arrival. You have a labor plan, you've read all the baby books on what to expect that first year and you've gleaned friends and family for their advice on what worked for them.

Well, don't pack that hospital bag yet. There still may be a few things you aren't aware of as a newbie parent.

Tammy Gold, a New York-based psychotherapist, and a certified parenting coach and mother, says this about learning the ropes of parenthood, "There are nannies, doulas, and lactation specialists," she says, "but no service helps parents with this gigantic change. Everybody's learning, everybody's struggling."

The next six tips will give you a heads up on what many parents learned during on-the-job training.

Both mom and dad can experience postpartum depression

. It's not news that some women are hit with the "baby blues" after having a baby. Postpartum depression is different. It affects one in every 10 women and has much more severe symptoms such as strong feelings of anxiety or worthlessness, trouble bonding with baby, uncontrollable crying and lack of interest in friends, family or activities.

Did you know daddy's can have these feelings as well? They can. According to The Journal of the American Medical Association, up to 10 percent of menexperience depression after the birth of their child. If you sense you or your spouse have symptoms of postpartum depression, be sure to consult with your doctor for ways to cope during such a difficult and stressful time in your life.

Not all smiles, not at first anyway

As you get ready to welcome your new baby, you might have pictured the precious newborn days much like those smiley, care-free baby lotion commercials. Well, he will smile back at you - but not as soon as you think. The first little while all you will hear from junior are burps, toots, grunts and shrieks. But right around 6 weeks of age, you will receive payment for your hard work in the form of smiles and coos.

So, be patient during those first weeks of late nights and early mornings. One day while you routinely change his diaper he will look up at you and grace you with a sweet smile that will melt your heart and give you strength to push through nights of five hours of broken sleep.

Parenting takes a team effort

You may have preconceived notions on who will be doing the diaper changes and night feedings. Truth be told, if you want a happy marriage, both mom and dad should be helping with fulfilling the needs of the new tiny human in your home.

Unlike an eight to five job where you clock out at the of the day, when caring for an infant, something always needs to be washed, changed, cleaned, wiped, wrapped, cuddled, and soothed. Particularly in the first few months when both of you are walking zombies, make sure you and your spouse jump into this new adventure with a "we" approach. You will stay connected as husband and wife and avoid recurring arguments about who had night duty and who got a shower that day.

Sleeping through the night doesn't really mean sleeping through the night

Many new parents long for those eight hours of uninterrupted sleep, but for a new baby, sleeping five hours straight is actually considered sleeping through the night. Take heart though, there really is an end to the middle of the night feedings. As the baby grows and matures she will, eventually, be able to sleep for longer stretches. And so will you.

There is no one right way to be a good parent

A common saying about having a baby is, "They don't come with an instruction manual." You can have everything mapped out from your birth plan to insisting on cloth diapers to banning bottles - and then this little one makes her début and your plans do a 180º.

Babies come with their own personalities and temperaments. Be open to changing things if it's not working for you and junior. Be gracious with advice overload, but be in tune with what feels right for your baby. Because, in the end, will it really matter if your baby used a pacifier, or whether he was tenderly cared for, nurtured and brought up with love? Your top parenting goal should be wanting a healthy and happy relationship with your little one and doing what works for you and your family to make that happen. Period.

Your life will never be the same - but that's a good thing

Instead of pining for the days of going to midnight movies or taking spontaneous getaways, try to take stock of what you've gained by giving your time and love to this new little person in your life. For me, when I look at my children and see them thriving and happy because of the service I've rendered day in and day out, I feel an overwhelming joy from my role as their parent. I think the quote by family advocate Gordon B. Hinckley sums up a new parent's role nicely. He said "Tremendous happiness and peace of mind are the results of loving service to others. Nobody can live fully and happily who lives only unto himself."�

I've heard it said that the care of an infant can show the best of us our limitations and our own small greatness. How true that is! Remember to be sensitive to a spouse's depression, make sure you parent as a team, know you will sleep again, and remember to be open to taking a different approach if something's not working for you and baby. Above all, soak it in. It really does go by so fast.

The post What the baby books didn’t tell you about being a parent appeared first on FamilyToday.

I spy

The classic game of I Spy is usually a favorite among children. All you need to do is find something in view for both of you and describe it: "I spy with my little eye ... something green and with pink stripes." Your child guesses your subject and then she takes a turn.

Alphabet game

The Alphabet game is always a good choice for distraction and education. Just ask your child if he sees certain letters of the alphabet in upcoming signs. Simple and lots of fun.

Green light, red light

Try this one if you're not in a hurry and in a place with very few people around you - like a park or neighborhood sidewalk. Have your little one shout out, "Green light," for you to push the stroller forward and, "Red light," to suddenly stop.

Shape hunt

Pick out triangles, squares, circles and other shapes in your surroundings. "What shape is that sign? The wheel on the car is in what shape?"

Silly songs

Most kids love to sing songs to pass the time. You can sing a few favorites like Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and Old MacDonald or mix things up by making your own crazy songs. Take a familiar tune and put your own words in it. It'll keep your little one occupied and give both of you a laugh.

Count snacks

If your stroller is equipped with a cup holder, consider giving her some finger food to count as she eats them. Fruit snacks, Cheerios and crackers are good options for counting and eating. Her hands will be busy and tummy full. Win-win.

Search for colors

This one is great if you are walking in an area with cars driving by. "Can you find a blue truck? Where's a white car? Do you see the brown van?" You can even make it a contest: first one to see the red car wins the game. If you're indoors, like at a mall, point out different colored signs. To make it a challenge, say the first one to see three yellow signs wins the game.

What I love about you

Simply take turns naming things you love about your child. "You know what I love about you? I love your laugh. It makes me happy." Then it's your child's turn to share something he loves about you. This will invite him to share his feelings and let him know how much he is loved and cherished by his mommy or daddy.

If you're out and about with a little one in tow, pick a few of these games and you're certain to have an enjoyable and fun time together.

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Never fear. The following 10 tips are sure to inspire you to take off your slippers and put on your workout shoes.

1. Find something you love to do

Running not your thing? How about Zumba, yoga, karate, Pilates, turbo-kickboxing, step aerobics, swimming, biking, hiking, basketball, volleyball, dancing, rollerblading, skiing, soccer, or just straight up walking? Figure out what it is that gets your body moving - plus the most enjoyable - and you're more likely to stick with it.

2. Get a workout buddy

. Finding a friend who can hold you accountable to your 6 am strength training class can be a fantastic way to stay dedicated to your fitness goals. Just make sure you buddy up with someone who truly wants to and has time for your workout schedules and goals.

3. Sign up for something that will force you to set exercising goals

A 5K race, half marathon or, if you're feeling ambitious, a full marathon are great ways to get you into the groove of working out consistently each week. Also, many races are tied to charities or fundraisers which means you'll be supporting a good cause as you achieve your fitness goals. Win-win. Ask around or do a quick Google search to find a race in your area.

4. Show your kids what a healthy lifestyle looks like

Think for a moment about your kids and grandkids. Don't you want to be able to keep up with them and their active life? Don't you want to show them what it means to take care of your body and truly feel good? Being mindful of who watches you is a powerful motivator in being committed to a life of exercise.

5. Log your workouts on your blog or workout forum

Logging your workouts can be the difference between halfheartedly working out or holding yourself 100 percent accountable. If you take part in an online forum, you may find other people with similar goals who can push you to reach your workout goals or offer advice.

6. Realize the benefits of consistent exercise

. According to the Mayo Clinic, there are 7 benefits to working out: weight control, combat health conditions and diseases, improve mood, boost energy, better sleep, better sex and stress relief. Who wouldn't say "yes please" to all the above? Exercise is more than just fitting into your old jeans or trying to impress others with your trim figure. It's about becoming an overall healthier person on all levels: physically, emotionally and mentally.

7. You want to be one of those healthy grandmas/grandpas

Think long term. Do you want to be dependent on others or a wheelchair when getting around? Would you like to enjoy your golden years with your grandkids and not just survive them? Making efforts to get moving today will be an investment in not just your future but in the future of those with whom you share your life.

8. You're done feeling like garbage

Tired of being a couch potato? Tired of feeling lazy, complacent and just "yucky?" Envision a motivated, happier, energetic version of yourself. Better yet, consider pulling out pictures of a much healthier you and time of your life. Maybe even put the pictures in a place where you can see them daily. It will be a constant reminder of why you are sticking to your exercise goals: to be happier and healthier you!

9. Buy new exercise clothes/gear

. Sometimes buying some new shoes or yoga pants can be just the thing to get you excited about finding your fitness groove again.

10. Remember to set doable goals tailored to your age, body and fitness level

. OK, so now you might be brimming with enthusiasm ready to grab your iPod, running shoes and fire up the old treadmill. Whoa, there. Remember that the goal is health, not a hospital visit. Especially in the beginning, start out slow. Set reasonable fitness goals that are right for you - not your triathlete neighbor. If you have a bad back or knees, consider doing exercises that are low impact, like swimming or cycling. Talking with a personal trainer and doctor before you register for that kickboxing class would be a wise idea, as well.

Don't wait until the post holiday guilt has hit you on New Years Day to set your fitness goals. Find a workout you love and stick with it. If not for yourself, for the people with whom you share your life. They could be your greatest motivator for having a healthier, more complete way of life.

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1. Get your little one involved in welcoming your newest addition

Depending on the age and emotional maturity of your child, do what you can to get him excited about the baby. Have him talk to her, ask for his opinion on names, tell him how excited you are for him to be a "big brother." Little things like that will help him feel included and not forgotten in preparing for baby's arrival.

2. Give your child a special gift

Your child will see a lot of presents pouring in for the new baby - especially if the baby is of the opposite gender. Make sure you have a little present or two stashed away just for your child, so she feels like the baby isn't already stealing the spotlight. An ideal time would be after a baby shower as that is when she will see many boxes of new clothes and toys around the house. Another good time might be right after the baby makes his début. A small toy or book can help your older child feel involved and remembered during the craziness.

3. For little ones, make the transition to a toddler bed earlier than later

Seeing the crib come down and transferred to the baby's room can be rough on a child. After all, that's the bed they have known and slept in since birth. Be sensitive and wise about this new milestone. If you give him ample time to adjust to and love his new bed (whilst giving him lots of praise for being a "big boy"), you might discover fewer or no tears when he sees your new babe in the crib.

4. Have a list of activities ready to keep little hands busy

What does your child like to do that will keep him occupied while you nurse the baby, change a diaper, or throw in a load of laundry? Puzzles, letter or shape hunts, building blocks, coloring, playing dress-up, building a fort or reading books are great options to keep your child engaged while you tend to the baby's needs. Also allowing him to watch a cartoon or favorite program can be a saving grace for a sleep-deprived mama. Click here for more unique activities for young children.

5. Schedule one-on-one time

Newborns take a lot of work, time and attention. Even if you have an easy-going older child, you can be sure it will take some time to get used to not having mommy all to herself. As much as you can, make time just for her. It could be as simple as 20 minutes of reading together while your baby cat naps or an hour at the park when your spouse is home to take care of the baby. With all the new changes in the home, uninterrupted one-on-one time will help your child feel valued and not forgotten. Hopefully, this will result in less resentment toward the baby and fewer tantrums directed at you.

6. Try to recruit as much help as you can

Have your hubby take adequate time off work to help out with this new family member. Ask your mom or mom-in-law for her help around the house or with the older child. If trusted neighbors or friends are dying for some alone time with junior, take them up on their offers. Bottom line: don't try to do it all on your own, especially if you have family or friends able and willing to help. Remember, when you add one more child to your family, napping when the baby naps is no longer an option. Accept and welcome any extra help, particularly during those first few months when you're in exhaustion mode.

Bringing home a baby with a little one at home can feel overwhelming. Just remember to keep a list of activities for your older child and schedule one-on-one time with her. Also, don't be afraid to ask for or accept help. Above all, keep in mind that many have been where you are and have lived to tell about it. Things will get better and you will get more sleep. Finally, with a little preparation and some patience your oldest will learn to love the newfound role of being a big sister or brother.

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There are many things that can harm a marriage: financial stress, unfaithful partner, uncontrolled addictions. All of these things take a considerable amount of effort and time from both partners. But there is one thing that can change the quality of a marriage almost instantly: What you say to each other on a daily basis. If you'd like to avoid arguments or diffuse the start of one, make a conscious effort of omitting these phrases from your conversations.

1. "You always/never..."

Never start a sentence with this phrase no matter how much you may feel it in the moment. It's a harsh accusation to say to your spouse "you never listen" or "you always work late" because a) it's not true. b) Most of the time this comment is born in the heat of the moment. A better way of speaking your mind would be taking a deep breath and saying, "Sometimes I don't feel heard or understood. Do you mind listening for a couple of minutes? It's really important to me" or, "I'm sure all these extra hours are hard on you. It has been tough on our family, as well. Maybe we can discuss some ways we can have some more family time."

2. "I hear a new gym just opened up. You should seriously think about signing up. You need it."

This is basically a slap to the face and implying your dissatisfaction with your spouse's body. Never say something negative about your sweetheart's body. Never.

3. "If you really loved me, you would do..."

This sounds like a trap. Essentially, it is communicating that your spouse is selfish if he doesn't do XYZ. In reality, I feel the opposite is true. The person who is making this request is being selfish as she is not considering the feelings of her partner. What if it's something your spouse is uncomfortable with? What if it's not in the budget? Not only that, but this sounds manipulative and one-sided. No one wants to be forced to do anything. When it comes to major decisions that will affect both parties, it's best if they are mutually decided upon, and not demanded in the name of "love."

4. "I can't wait to go to work/for you to go to work."

I know. Many of us have been here. You've had a not so perfect weekend/evening/holiday together, and you feel like distance between you is the answer. A little break from each other to cool tempers and clear minds is good, even healthy. But actually telling your significant other that you would like them to be elsewhere or that you don't want to be near her is hurtful and devalues her as your partner and parent of your children. Regardless of the argument(s), just rephrase your need for some space. Something like, "I'm sorry we've had a rough couple of days together. Maybe we can start again tomorrow."

5. "You're such a (insert insulting name)."

This is your spouse. Your confidant. Your sweetheart. Even if you feel the insult is deserved - don't say it. Take the higher road. Don't just react in an argument, try to diffuse it with, "I'm sure you didn't mean that. Let's talk about this when you are yourself." Or, "That was hurtful. When you're ready to talk respectfully, we can discuss this problem together."

6. "Well, so-and-so's spouse does that..."

Ouch. Comparing can cause resentment and feelings of inadequacy. I'm reminded of the phrase, "Choose your love, love your choice." This doesn't mean you just put up with bad habits. But how you approach your partner makes a world of difference in how safe and valued they feel with you. Here's another way of communicating your feelings: "You know what makes me feel loved? When you help me do dishes/help the kids with homework/clean up after yourself."

Marriages are fragile. Let us be more careful and mindful of what, and how, we communicate with our sweethearts. The wrong tone, word choice or angry outburst can do more damage than most of us realize. I like the quote by Family Advocate F. Burton Howard in regards to marriage: "If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently."

The post 6 marriage-killer phrases to avoid appeared first on FamilyToday.