Dating can be all about games, but some games are more detrimental than others. For someone in a relationship with a narcissist, the mental games can be hard to detect and even harder to stop. One study found that 9.6 percent of Americans in their 20s have already had experience with someone with diagnosable Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

So here is a heads up to the three most common mental games narcissist men play and how to get you back into a healthy mental state:

1. Rescue and repeat (the knight in shining armor)

The narcissist is an easy person to fall in love with because they will appear confident, stable and supportive. However, they will set up a power dynamic in which they know better than you and will "save" you from unpleasant situations. Not only do they remove your other supports but will often create confusion so that you come to them for guidance. Slowly you become more dependant on them until you truly feel that you are unable to take care of anything on your own, slowly deteriorating your independence.

2. Alienation (the wild card)

The first step in the alienation game is creating a "Romeo and Juliet" connection with you so you feel that it is the two of you against the world. This creates the idea that everyone wants to see you unhappy so that if others bring up concerns, you ignore them. In this dynamic you believe your narcissist knows better than anyone else and they are the only one you can truly trust.

We have all been in a new relationship where we start to neglect our old friendships, but if you are in a relationship with a narcissistic person, it can reach a whole new level. One goal they may have is alienating you from your family and friends. This ensures that they are the main influence in your life. By isolating you, they take away your resources and supports, making you more reliant on them. They may even tell others that you are crazy or unstable, putting doubts in other people's minds if you are to bring a concern to them. You may reach out for support just to have them question your views and reliability.

The narcissist knows your weaknesses, so they will attack what you hold dear. For example, saying things like "If people knew you , they would be disgusted by you and never speak to you again" or "If you do , I will call child services, and they will definitely take your kids away." This will facilitate you creating distance with others in fear that the narcissist is correct.

3. Confusion and self-doubt (the magician)

All of these mental games start small and become worse and worse. This creates a sense of normalcy that eliminates your alarm system that there is indeed a problem. Most of the time an issue won't be noticed until it is shared with someone outside the narcissist's reach. This is part of the why alienation occurs - so that you don't notice that something is not normal or unhealthy. This is when the internal destruction starts. The objective of this game is to confuse you and have you doubt yourself. The big players here are lying, unpredictability and distraction.

The lie may start small, but grows until it is blatant and doesn't align with logic. Even if you have solid proof of their indiscretions, they will deny all allegations. It can be maddening and even make you feel like your perception of the situation is wrong.

The unpredictability can be addicting in that sometimes things are great and other times are bad. But it is hard to tell what you are going to get. So if we do get a bad outcome, we continue to hang on, thinking the next time may be good, making it feel like the whole relationship is worth it.

The last and most frustrating element is distraction. They are good at moving your attention where they want it, just like a magician. This makes locking down a productive, direct conversation about a concern very difficult. They will continue to move you off track and distract you with other issues in order to ignore the initial concern. This leads to feeling like your conversations are meaningless and that your concerns shouldn't be that alarming for you.

How to shut down mental games

Keep your independence

It is a good idea in any relationship to maintain your own identity by keeping up with friendships, hobbies and personal goals. By doing this you are keeping your supports, resources and future plans. Keep your confidence up by doing the things that make you feel powerful and proud. If you are healthy mentally, you are much more likely to communicate your needs and stand up for your beliefs.

Be aware that some people will not realize fully what mental games a person is playing. Good communication with them is needed to not only make them aware of their behaviors but also set good boundaries about what is and isn't acceptable in the relationship.

Be mindful

In order to fully understand a situation, you need to be mindful of all the moving parts. Included in this is focusing on your feelings and moving away from black and white thinking of right and wrong. Emotions are often mixed, specifically with boundary setting.

Pay close attention to your safety and emotional and physical health. Trusting yourself is key here because these mental games are specifically aimed at having you question yourself. Lastly, you can not control or "fix" anyone. You can only control yourself, so remind yourself that you do have control and you can make decisions for your well-being.

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If you have ever been awakened by your terrified child because of a nightmare, you know how helpless the situation can make you can feel.

Although we cannot control what our kids are dreaming about, we can help them build skills to cope with their nightmares. Here are a few ways to help your children get back to their sweet dreams after a nightmare.

Function of dreams

Nightmares are dreams that usually wake the dreamer and stir negative emotions. The highest prevalence of nightmares has been shown between the ages of 5 to 10, according to a 2009 study of children's nightmares.

Nightmares appear to be an evolutionary tool for survival in that our brains can problem-solve a variety of scenarios, Harvard psychologist Deirdre Barrett wrote in the forward of the book "Working with Dreams and PTSD Nightmares." This can make dreams feel a little less scary, knowing that your brain is just prepping for different situations.

Bedtime routine

How you set up bedtime can make a huge difference in the emotional content of your dreams. An interesting note from a 2015 study about bedtime routines is the advice to make sure bedtime is early enough for your children to get 8 to 10 hours of rest. We might feel like we are doing them a favor by letting them stay up late, but really we might be hurting their sleep cycle.You'll want to stay as consistent as possible so that the routine is predictable for them, as prediction of future expectations is comforting for children.

Comfort

Make sure to take the time to comfort your children on both the rational side and the emotional side, psychologist Marsha M. Linehan suggests in her "DBT Training Skills Manual." An example of how to comfort the rational/logical side would be to say: "You are safe here. No one is chasing you."

With the emotional side, you want to acknowledge the emotion the child is having and help them calm themselves. For example: "I know you are scared. Take some deep breaths to calm your fear down."

In the moment strategies

1. Practice mindfulness

Talk your child through the five senses mindfulness activity - going through the five senses of touch, hearing, smell, taste and sight. Ask your child questions like: "Feel your blanket. Describe to me how it feels," and "Take a drink of your water. What is it like to drink water?" This exercise gets your child back to their body and more centered.

2. Rewrite the ending

If your child can remember the nightmare, have them rewrite the ending. If they were being chased by a monster, help them come up with an ending where they defeat the monster. If the nightmare ended with them losing someone or having someone they care about die, have them create an ending in which they saved that person and became the hero. Not only does the story change for them, it can give the child a sense of control that is often lost in nightmares.

3. Change the "channel"

If your child is having a difficult time focusing in on themselves or telling the story, walk them through changing the "channel." Just like they are changing the channel on a television, they are going to imagine flipping to a new channel that features a particular show that is calming or comforting to them. Have them tell you what the show is, what the plot is, and which characters are in the particular episode.

Prevention

Along with a healthy consistent bedtime routine, you'll want to consider the images and media your children are interacting with. Having parental locks on media sites will help reduce adding new images to those that are apart of their nightmares.

Another aspect to pay attention to is whether your child feels safe. Even if their answers don't make rational sense, you should try to make them feel more secure. Adding baby gates, night lights and extra blankets can help your child feel more secure.

Seek support

Just because your child is experiencing nightmares, it does not mean that they are experiencing traumatic events in their waking hours, a 1992 study found. However, it is important that you address these distressing dreams and find support in creating a safety support plan. This support can be found with teachers, counselors, other caregivers and even siblings.

Nightmares can be a stressful and uncomfortable time for both the child and their caregiver. But with a little help and practice, your child can learn how to manage nightmares and return to a good night's rest.

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Every kid has the potential to be a bit of a monster at times, but some kids test our patience more than others. We can see these children as 'trouble makers' or 'the bad kid,' but we should really be looking at all the amazing qualities they are practicing on us. So the next time you feel a headache coming around this type of child, try to view the situation through this lens:

1. Creative problem solving

The next time your child is sneaking out of the house, think about all the obstacles of planning they have to overcome in order to get out of the house. One of the cleverest women I know once told me about how she would have to plan days in advance in order to have everything line up to not get caught. Although infuriating, we need to acknowledge the planning and problem solving that goes into a mission like this. These kids are smart so give them something to problem solve that is productive like fixing something mechanical.

2. Determination

We all know that stubborn kid who will not give up on their personal goal. As parents we would like the personal goal to be getting good grades, but they may be focused on hanging out with friends or being on social media. Their personal goal may even be to try and make your life miserable. Instead of trying to battle each other with stubbornness, use their drive toward personal goals to achieve your parental goals. For instance, if they would like to hang out with friends, have the rule that all of their homework needs to be done before that can happen.

3. Not scared of a challenge

These kids can be fearless, which is wonderful. Unless someone suggests building a ramp of some kind to go off of, and you end up in the emergency room. Take this fearlessness and get them involved in sports, physical fitness or adventurous activities. By challenging this fearlessness, you are pushing them to achieve goals they may not have thought possible. This will build self-esteem, and if you are with them during the challenge, it will develop bonding.

4. Original thinker

I know that having an original thinker can be irritating at times, like watching them tie their shoes in new innovative ways. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. And with being a creative thinker, a lot of their hard work will not be successful. But for every time their experiment does not work, they have learned yet another way why it didn't. These kids will grow up to be the ones creating new ways of doing things that are more productive and make life easier. So try to stay calm as they learn and make many, many mistakes.

5. Promote personal growth

Finally, we can thank them for our own personal growth as people. If life was easy we would never adapt and ponder on how to make our situation better. So if they are throwing their fifth tantrum of the day, think of all the patience you get to practice. Plus, when there is a day with only three tantrums, you will feel like that day was a cake-walk.

Remember that as kids they are practicing the skills they are going to use as adults. We want them to keep all of these amazing skills and learn to use them appropriately within our societal context. As parents, we need to cultivate their stubborn creative quarks so they can be the successful, determined and innovative adults we know they are capable of becoming.

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There's a very good reason why there are millions of songs about unrequited love. It is extremely painful to love someone who doesn't love you back. It fills you with feelings of doubt, hopelessness and despair.

As much as we would like to think that one-sided relationships end after our teenage years, heartache hurts just as bad when you are an adult. Here are six concepts to mend your broken heart and move forward:

1. Don't blame yourself

Their lack of love for you actually has nothing to do with you. This seems like a counterintuitive idea because you're the one being rejected. But there is no "magic" version of yourself that they are sure to fall in love with. Changing yourself to seem prettier, funnier or wealthier won't change their mind. You cannot make someone love you, but you can learn to love yourself. Loving yourself will bring you long-term happiness and mental wellbeing.

So, if you are looking to change yourself, don't change for them. Change for you.

2. Get space

Do not take time out of your day to see them. Don't plan to meet up and don't 'accidentally' bump into them. Getting space includes social media exposure. You need time to heal and seeing this person can reopen the wounds. Simple interactions give us all something to overanalyze, which only perpetuates the confused feelings we have.

Fight the overwhelming urge to go out of your way to interact with your lost love.

3. Love is not based completely on compatibility

Just because you love someone does not mean that your relationship would have been flawless. Refrain from imagining your perfect future with them. The most compatible relationships are not perfect and disagreements will happen, no matter who you marry. Even if things would have worked out between you two, there would have been arguments and anger.

Instead, start imagining what your future could be and how amazing you could make it.

4. You deserve love

The absolute worse case scenario is if there was not a clear-cut 'no' to a relationship. Open ended breakups leave unanswered questions, and put both people in limbo. Don't play this back and forth game with them. Give yourself space, and give this person space to figure things out. You deserve love, not a one-sided relationship that's sometimes convenient for someone else.

You are not a backup plan, you deserve a healthy relationship.

5. Get a hobby

Though it doesn't seem like it, this is an exciting time to figure out who you are. Your likes, dislikes, hopes, dreams and interests are important! Develop your own future. Go do things that you want to do in but have never done - rock climbing, snowboarding, bingo playing, eating new foods...anything that spikes your interest.

Having new experiences is a good way to build back up self-esteem, find new people and relieve stress.

6. Be hurt

As humans, we like to distract from our distress. But in order to heal from this hurt you need to give yourself time to grieve. Cry for the loss of this future you wish you could have had. You should feel like you have lost something special. You may even feel that they have 'ruined' all other potential partners for you. These feelings will fade as you grieve the person that rejected you and the idea of your lost future together.

Processing through the hurt is the best way to heal.

When you are heartbroken, the most important thing to remember is you are not alone. Confide in your friends and family to talk about your emotions. Discuss your mixed emotions that come from unrequited love.Talking with a therapist can also help you move forward.

Others do not get to decide your worth. You are amazing, now it is time to start believing it.

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