Dirty socks on your chandelier, wads of gum in the dryer, scientific laboratories that only slightly resemble bedrooms, weapons materializing from thin air, and frogs on the dinner table are but a few surprises you can expect if you have boys in your home. After growing up as one of seven girly girls, I think it poetic justice that God sent me four boys. As bewildered as I once was by my Y-chromosome babies, how I love and cherish my sons - boys who have taught me the language of technology, the everyday wonders of nature, the strategies of every imaginable sport or game, the tender side of tough, and the miracle of becoming a man.

If you really want to know what to expect from your boys, you will need to examine your own values and determine your expectations for your boys. With society's ever-changing messages concerning the roles and definitions of manhood, it has never been more vital for parents and leaders to articulate, teach and model that which they expect from the boys who will shape our future. Following are six suggestions for helping your boys become the men the world needs.

If you want your boy to hold reverence for God and country

• Help him feel and recognize spiritual experiences that will connect him to a power higher than himself.

• Pray with him and for him.

• Teach him to leave places and people better than he found them.

• Support him in showing appreciation for local and national government leaders and men and women in uniform.

• Illustrate the interconnectedness between the rights and responsibilities of citizenship.

• Model devotion and patriotism.

If you want your boy to become a productive member of society with a good work ethic

• Give him age-appropriate chores and praise him for a job well done.

• Assist him in finding opportunities to earn money, and then expect him to pay for some of his own needs and wants and save some for a rainy day.

• Encourage him to study hard in school and seek as much education as possible.

• Work cheerfully alongside him.

• Teach him the financial and emotional rewards of honest labor.

• Model diligent productivity, and whistle while you work.

If you want your boy to develop good judgment and decision making skills.

• Within appropriate parameters, allow him to make his own decisions.

• From an early age, let him experience the natural consequences of his actions.

• Teach him to consider possible outcomes and pros and cons of his choices.

• Encourage him to be observant of others and learn from their experiences, both positive and negative.

• Model discernment and prudence.

If you want your boy to show respect for others

• Show him kindness and consideration.

• Reward him for being courteous and well mannered.

• Insist that he show proper regard for parents, teachers, leaders and authority figures.

• Notice and acknowledge his thoughtful and caring behaviors.

• Encourage him to get to know others who may be different from him - culturally, religiously, physically, etc.

• Model tolerance, politeness, and forbearance.

Click here to learn more about raising a modern-day gentleman.

If you want your boy to become a good husband and father

• Praise him for showing proper respect to women and children.

• Speak and behave kindly to your own spouse and parents.

• Give him opportunities to work and interact with other good men.

• Provide opportunities for him to serve and sacrifice for others.

• Highlight good role models, especially his own father, when possible.

• Model leadership and love.

In the words of author Dorothy Law Nolte, "Children learn what they live. Then they grow up to live what they've learned." Expect the best from your boys and from yourself. In most cases, you will see them grow into men that exceed your greatest expectations.

Check out this link for a discussion with other parents about raising boys.

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As cases of clinical depression continue to rise, it is likely that you or someone you know is facing this challenging disease. Knowing what to do and say can feel like walking a tightrope for everyone involved. Throughout my own struggle with clinical depression, dozens of well-meaning people have had myriad comments and suggestions. Unfortunately, sometimes the messages were more hurtful than helpful.

When people are depressed, the negative voices in their head are often so loud that they don't want to hear much of anything. Here are 10 unhelpful things depressed people don't need to hear and 10 helpful comments they may not want to hear but which could benefit them.

10 unhelpful things depressed people don't want to hear

10. Dry your tears and do something about it

Crying can be a great release and expression of emotion. Bring me a box of tissues and encourage me to let it all out.

9. If I were you, I would ..

Unfortunately, you are not me and cannot know of my capabilities, thought processes or emotional state. I need your understanding more than I need your advice.

8. This happened because ..

Even the best medical experts cannot fully explain the workings of the brain and the exact reasons for depression. Please leave the explanations to doctors and to God.

7. This is just a phase. It will pass

No one knows how long a season of depression will last. It may be weeks and may last a lifetime. Reassure me that you will be with me for as long as it takes.

6. All you need is a positive attitude

Depression hampers my spirit and distorts my perspective. Write down positive affirmations about my life and about me so I can lean on your positivity when I can't find my own.

5. If you had enough faith, you could be healed

Faith cannot be measured by any human standard and even the greatest belief may not provide the desired cure. Bolster the faith I do have and exercise your faith in my behalf.

4. Buck up, little camper

Depression is an illness like diabetes or cancer that affects my ability to function normally. Encourage me to seek medical help when necessary instead of insisting that I bravely carry on alone.

3. What can I do to fix this?

There is very little even the best caregiver can do to patch up the situation and make everything better. Listen to me and love me instead of trying to fix me.

2. It's all in your mind

Exactly! Depression is an illness of the mind, not a figment of my imagination. Validate my condition by educating yourself about the disease.

1. I know just how you feel

No, you don't. Give me a big hug and keep praying for me because, as the popular folk song says, "Nobody knows the troubles I've seen; nobody knows but Jesus."

Check out this link to read more on what not to say to a depressed person.

10 helpful things depressed people don't want to hear but may need to hear

10. Go for a walk around the block

Exercise releases endorphins and helps elevate mood. It can also bring a sense of accomplishment and refreshment.

9. Come out of your room and sit on the porch

Depressed people often isolate and want to stay in bed. Encourage me to take a first step by changing my environment. Getting fresh air and a little sunshine will supply vitamin D and increase the mood-lifting chemical serotonin.

8. Take a shower

When depressed, people often disregard self-care and other healthy activities of daily living. Remind me that getting freshened up and putting on clothes that make me feel good about myself really does help.

7. Seek the help of a doctor or therapist

When I can't shake the blues, feelings of self-loathing, dark thoughts or other disturbing behavior, encourage me to seek professional help. Medications and individual or group therapy can provide much-needed relief and keys to long-lasting recovery.

6. Name three things for which you are grateful

It is difficult to be thankful and negative at the same time. Helping me look for blessings and make gratitude lists can change my outlook and give my mind a happier place to dwell.

5. Listen to upbeat music

The music people listen to often reflects their mood. Encourage me to elevate my spirits by trying some upbeat tunes, songs that bring joyful memories or music that soothes and calms.

4. Monitor your eating

One of the first signs of depression is a change in appetite. Help me evaluate what kinds of food I am craving or avoiding and make a food log. Encourage me to study my eating habits and patterns and then make necessary changes.

3. Write down your thoughts and feelings

Writing in a journal is one of the most effective ways to identify beliefs, feelings, fears, and thoughts. Remind me that expressing my emotions on paper helps me experience and evaluate the feelings I may want to ignore but need to face.

2. Reach out to someone

Depression darkens the mind and increases the tendency to engage in and believe negative self-talk and thought patterns. Encourage me to get out of my head by turning to a trusted friend, counselor or religious leader who can help restore my perception and perspective.

1. Nourish your spirit

Depression is a mental, emotional and spiritual malady. Help me see that the more spiritually fit I am, the better I will be able to fight the disease. Prayer and meditation can help center my thoughts and assist me in finding a power greater than myself to believe in and trust.

Click here to read more about finding hope for those that suffer from depression.

Be thoughtful and prayerful in your efforts to help someone struggling with depression. The best message you can give is that you love them unconditionally and will be there to support them.

The post 20 things depressed people don’t want to hear appeared first on FamilyToday.

Following are five simple ways to provide comfort for those who are sorrowing, grieving or discouraged.

Comforting words

You don't have to rely on Hallmark cards to find words of sympathy and consolation. Thoughtful, sincere expressions of love and concern spoken in kind-hearted tones can do much to comfort, soothe and cheer. Without experiencing the same pain as another, you may not be able to fully empathize with her, but you can sympathize, validate and appreciate her pain. A tender note, a caring phone call or a timely visit provide opportunities not only to communicate your love and support, but also to engage in attentive listening and healing conversations.

Comforting gestures

The power of human touch to provide relief, reassurance and comfort is undeniable. Oftentimes a gentle pat or a close embrace can communicate love and concern more quickly and effectively than words. Stroking a sobbing child's hair, clasping the hand of a brokenhearted friend or putting an arm around the shoulder of one who is discouraged can soothe, calm and uplift in a matter of moments. When you can't find the words to comfort one in need, let your hug say it all.

Comforting actions

One of the greatest expressions of love and support for one who is suffering is selfless service. During some of my darkest hours, kind-hearted individuals sustained me through their consistent, creative, thoughtful acts of service.

I will long remember the group of youth who planted colorful flowers in front of my bedroom window when I was confined to bed; the sister who repeatedly drove six hours round-trip to visit me in the hospital; the friends who decorated my windows with encouraging notes and sunny pictures to help me fight the winter blues; the children who cooked meals, cleaned and took care of each other for extended periods of time when I was incapacitated by the crushing weight of depression; the women who laundered and ironed my family's clothes when my mother was dying; the healing, heartening visits from relatives who sacrificed time, money, and energy to come to our family's rescue; the heroic, unending efforts of my husband to help our family through intense physical, financial and emotional difficulties; and the quiet deeds of countless others who provide relief at every turn.

Read aloud from an uplifting book, bring a meal, babysit the kids, stock the pantry shelves or sit and listen. Find a way to serve, and you have found a way to comfort.

Comforting gifts

Any offering given with love is sure to brighten and strengthen another. Gifts that appeal to the senses are especially comforting to the soul.

• Plants, artwork, handicrafts and decorations please the eye and gladden the heart.

• Scented candles, flowers and aromatic bath soaps provide refreshing smells.

• Homemade "comfort foods,"¯ special treats, fresh fruit and soothing drinks encourage relaxation and contentment.

• Soothing music and upbeat tunes elevate the spirit.

• Soft blankets, warm clothing and moisturizing lotions comfort the body and warm the heart.

Comforting beliefs

No human word or deed can provide solace like that which is freely given by God. His very nature and defining characteristic is love. One of his own titles and another name for the Holy Spirit is "the Comforter." God constantly stretches out his hand to comfort and bless his children and promises, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light."¯ (KJV Matthew 11:30)

Scripture is replete with messages of counsel and consolation from him who intimately understands our pain, individually carries our sorrows and eternally provides peace. Turn to almost any Psalm to find words of strength and comfort. Read the stories of the Savior in the New Testament to discover truths and doctrines that will heal the wounded heart. Offer sincere prayers for loved ones who carry heavy burdens and exercise faith in their behalf.

Remember the words of the psalmist: "He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds."¯ (KJV Psalm 147:3)

In the words of Linda Burton, president of a worldwide women's organization, "We all have burdens to bear and burdens to share ... 'We must cherish one another, watch over one another, comfort one another and gain instruction, that we may all sit down in heaven together.'"¯

The post I will not leave you comfortless appeared first on FamilyToday.

After every temper tantrum or episode of quarreling amongst my children, I find myself reflecting on my role in their behavior and what I could have done differently. During moments of deep self-doubt I wonder if I have done anything right as a parent. Conversely, when teachers, neighbors, religious leaders, friends, and even strangers at restaurants compliment me on how intelligent, kind or respectful my children are, my most frequent response is, "I can't take any credit. God just sent them that way."¯

The actual truth is that God did send me five amazing children, but I have worked for 20 years to help mold and shape them into the people he would want them to become. I was overjoyed when I recently asked my kids what they felt I had done right as a parent and they verbalized a long list in a matter of minutes. The following are nine observations from my children that will hopefully give encouragement or guidance to other parents in the trenches of the greatest job on earth.

1. You trust us enough to make our own decisions

In order for children to become successful, contributing adults, they must be given the chance to make choices. Parental trust is earned one good choice at a time. I allowed my young children to exercise their agency on the little things so they would learn the positive and negative consequences of their choices. As they have matured and are required to make more significant decisions, they now have the skills and values in place to choose wisely. And I trust that they will. Here is more advice on teaching your kids to make good choices.

2. You emphasize education

I suppose all those nights helping with homework, family "summer school"Ā¯ sessions learning together about rockets or ladybugs and discussing current events over dinner have made a difference. My parents taught me that performing well in school is necessary but learning to love learning is imperative. Indeed, as the English philosopher William Hazlitt said, "Learning is its own exceeding great reward."Ā¯ Parents that train and encourage their children to explore, create and find the joy in expanding their minds and skills will give them a grand key to happiness, self-respect and success.

3. You teach us the value of hard work

Both my husband and I enjoy laboring with our hands and minds. We find that working with our children provides meaningful ways to teach and spend quality time together. Whether it's making home repairs with Dad, cleaning with Mom or doing dishes and yard work as a family, we believe that successful individuals and families learn and live the principle of hard work. Much to my surprise, even my least enthusiastic cleaner admits, "It's good that you make us clean the bathroom."Ā¯ Here are some lessons kids can learn from a good bathroom cleaning session.

4. You read with us.

I love to hear that most of my children share my love of reading. I think one of the greatest things my mother did for me was to read stories, books, scriptures and articles to me and with me, and I strive to continue that legacy. Our family has made story time at the library a treat and reading before bed a priority. We join book clubs, discuss literature and make sure our children see us reading. Read here to find out why reading to your child is a gift.

5. You take us to museums and plays and concerts

With a family of four teenage boys who don't particularly enjoy dressing up for an evening of culture, this comment was shocking! It seems the youth Christmas symphonies, high school musicals, community plays, siblings' musical concerts and recitals and visits to places ranging from local children's museums to the Smithsonian paid off in the end. Three cheers for the arts.

6. You teach us values like integrity

Since the children were young we consistently set aside one night every week for family time. With young children's limited attention span and older teenagers' hectic schedules, sometimes our lessons or activities last onlyĆ‚Ā 10 minutes, but my husband and I use those minutes to teach the children the values we hold dear. In less formal ways, we talk about the consequences of society's declining moral values and above all we try to exemplify what we believe.

7. You emphasize religion

Our faith plays a critical role in our family's everyday life. We strive to be godly in word and deed and relate almost everything in life back to God's reality, love, and blessings. Some of my greatest memories as a mother center around listening to my young child pray in earnest to his creator, watching my boys perform their duties at church, and seeing my daughter live her values of faith, service, integrity and virtue. All those nights when I wondered if anyone was listening as we read scripture and prayed as a family have in the end brought forth great fruit.

8. You take us on vacations

Whether an expensive vacation at Disneyland, a relaxing time at the beach, a road trip to see our favorite football team, a jaunt up to Grandma's house or a day trip to a pumpkin festival, our family outings have bound us together. Thank goodness for cheap hotels, electronic car devices and a spirit of adventure.

9. You are getting less uptight ... except before a road trip

This once-rigid young mommy who insisted on spotless floors, perfectly groomed children and collegiate level essays from elementary children, has apparently made some progress. Now that I contemplate being a grandparent in coming years, I realize that everybody was right when they said, "Childhood slips by and before you know it, the kids are gone."Ā¯ I am grateful to have gained the wisdom to loosen up on the things that don't really matter and treasure each stage of family life in its time.

If you are questioning your positive influence on your children or wondering how to improve your parenting, ask the experts - your kids. You may be delighted at what you discover.

The post 9 things my kids say I got right as a parent appeared first on FamilyToday.

For the stay-at home parent

When I was raising my young family, sometimes the effort required to get everyone dressed and ready to go out the door, configure car seats and boosters, maintain good behavior while abroad and make it home again hardly seemed worth the hassle. While it may seem easier to stay at home with young children, everyone needs a chance to get out - including the kids. Plan brief outings or day trips with a friend and include extra time for preparation, snack breaks and transportation. Ask your spouse to watch the kids for a few hours so you can do errands, go to the gym or spend time with friends. Trading babysitting hours with another stay-at-home parent will allow you some well-deserved personal time out of the house and help you appreciate your home and family more upon your return.

For those who work at home

With more and more people working from home, one's house becomes the setting for many and diverse activities. The workaholic who once spent all his time at the office can now work late into the night and early in the morning at home, living next to but not interacting with family members. Those who work from home need to set clear boundaries, delineating certain places and times for work, as well as for recreation and leisure. Even if you work flexible hours, get up and dress for the day so you are prepared to leave the house for lunch, off-site meetings and other events that will allow for meaningful interactions with other people.

For the elderly

One group of people that is often homebound - whether for health reasons, transportation challenges or simply for lack of activities outside the house - is the elderly. If health permits, plan to attend a book club, weekly Bingo game or senior fitness class. If transportation is a problem, make arrangements for friends or fellow worshippers to take you to church or social activities where possible. Children, grandchildren and friends should be sensitive to the needs of their loved ones and, when possible, invite them on outings and activities outside the home. When leaving the house is impossible, beautify the home with artwork, plants and cheery dƩcor. Be generous with invitations for visits from friends and loved ones.

For those who live alone or feel friendless

People of any age who live alone or feel they lack friends or associates may find comfort and consolation in their own space at home. While everyone needs a quiet place to relax and reflect, people also need other people. Make a goal to do something social every week. Take a class, join a club or pursue a hobby where you could meet some new people. Even if you go to lunch or read a novel at the bookstore by yourself, getting out and among other people is healthy and rewarding. Try joining a trusted online group to find a friend and then meet in person. Reach out to work associates or neighbors and plan occasional get-togethers. The more you extend yourself, the easier it will be to get out of your own home and enjoy the world with somebody special.

For the depressed or anxious

Sometimes when life becomes difficult or emotions spiral down, people find a hiding place at home. While it seems easier to camp out in the bedroom or in front of the television than to face challenges or experience uncomfortable feelings, doing so only perpetuates the problem. One of the best ways to lift your spirits or alleviate stress is to get out and experience life. Take a nature walk, meet a friend for breakfast or get some exercise, but force yourself to leave your comfortable retreat and clear your head. Often, the only way around your problems is through them, so put one foot in front of the other and get to work instead of isolating or seeking refuge in your dwelling place.

The old adage, "There's no place like home,"¯ remains true, but home cannot be the only place in your life. There's a whole world out there to experience and enjoy. Open the door and let life in.

The post If there’s no place like home, why bother leaving the house? appeared first on FamilyToday.

Holocaust survivor and renowned psychiatrist Viktor E. Frankl tells the story of a sadistic doctor, a Nazi official responsible for sending hundreds of patients from a mental hospital to the gas chambers. Years after the war, Frankl became acquainted with a man who was imprisoned with the Nazi leader in Russia and who testified that the doctor was the epitome of moral strength and integrity and became his greatest friend during his years in prison. Frankl then remarks, "How can you dare to predict the behavior of man! ... Every human being has the freedom to change at any instant."¯

Whether you are looking for a fresh start after making a poor decision, trying to shed a few pounds, seeking to forgive a loved one, or attempting to conquer an addiction, the power to change is within you. Following are six steps to making a positive change in your life.

1. Desire the change

This first step may seem so obvious that it is hardly worth mentioning, but in actuality it is the most important step of all. Psychologists outline the stages of change from pre-contemplation, where a person doesn't even realize he has a need for change, all the way through termination, where he has reached his goal. Often the most difficult stage is moving from pre-contemplation to contemplation, or from denial and inability to consider change to a point of awareness and desire for change.

Even if you can do no more than want to want to make a modification, that is a beginning. Ruminate over reasons to alter certain behaviors, characteristics or circumstances and ponder the pros and cons of making such a change. Pray, write or talk about your desire and let it grow within you.

2. Visualize the change

Once you have cultivated a desire to change, start to see in your mind's eye exactly what that change would look like. Imagine yourself as the patient person, the healthy woman, the financially secure individual you want to become. Athletes often use mental imagery to enhance their physical performance by imagining what crossing the finish line will look, taste, smell and feel like and then replaying it over and over in their minds. As you visualize your success, your will deepen your belief in and resolve to change.

3. Formulate a plan to change

Using the visualization techniques to show you what you can have or become, outline the necessary steps you will need to take to achieve your goal. Write down your plan with specific details and a timeline you will follow. For example, several years ago I decided to change my negative feelings about and approach toward Christmas, a holiday that had become a season of stress and chaos instead of joy for me. My plan for change included buying and wrapping out-of-town presents by December 5, selecting concerts and events to attend in lieu of a long list of gifts, including the children in holiday baking, and reading Christmas stories each night in December. Perhaps of most importance, my plan included feeding my spirit and opening my mind and heart to the possibility of Christmas joy.

4. Challenge your plan to change

Next, play devil's advocate with your plan, pre-determining those obstacles that might hinder you from achieving your goal. A social gathering with delicious treats might pose a threat to your weight loss plan, an injury might prevent you from meeting your goal to run three miles a day, fear of judgment might hamper you from enrolling in the art class you have longed to take. Find a way around each impediment such as eating a healthy meal before attending the party, choosing to swim laps in the case of injury or talking back to your fears by thinking of the worst thing that could happen if you were judged unfairly. Making a mental and written list of possible obstacles will prepare you to handle them when they come instead of allowing them to take the wind out of your sails.

5. Work your plan to change

Changing a habit, a perception, or a condition requires vigilance, patience and hard work. Continue to visualize and reflect on the benefits of the change you are trying to make. Rely on your loved ones and support system to buoy you up and keep you accountable. Remember, practice makes permanent. Practice not only the physical tasks on your action list, but especially perform the mental exercise of challenging your thinking. If you want to change your reality, you will have to make some mental adjustments. As you work your plan, you will find that some things are out of your control, but you can always choose your attitude and reaction.

6. Allow yourself to change

Give yourself time and space to change. Recognize that your journey may be bumpy, long or circuitous, but with the determination that it will be worth it, keep trudging. Change, even positive change, can be frightening because it represents something new and different. Reframe the situation as an exciting adventure. Work through your fears and limitations and allow the transformation to unfold. Reward yourself for small victories and signs of improvement.

The power to change is within you. Take the first step today.

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"Thunder thighs."¯ "Zit-face."¯ "Child-bearing hips."¯ "Beached whale."¯ These are names I have been called by one who should be my friend - myself. Over the span of many years, negative voices in my head repeatedly whispered and shouted hurtful messages. The relentless inner critic picked at flaws and hyper-focused on perceived defects in my body. Mirrors and scales acted as weapons to inflict harm and produce shame.

The journey to change my thinking patterns about my physical appearance and improve my body image has been rocky and is still ongoing, but hope and healing are filling in the potholes, and road signs indicate that I am travelling in the right direction. Following areĀ seven lessons I've learned along the way to a healthier body image:

1. Identify causes for a negative body image

The way you view your body is a gradually learned response to past influences and current experiences. Body image specialist Thomas Cash suggests examining four historical influences:

• Cultural conditioning: What are the societal and media messages you believed concerning attractiveness and desirability?

• Interpersonal experiences with family and friends: What words and actions by those closest to you influenced the way you feel about your looks?

• Physical characteristics and changes: How did periods of change, particularly puberty, affect your body image?

• Personalities differences: How resilient are you to factors that threaten your body image?

Next, identify current triggers that activate assumptions, perceptions and judgments about your physical appearance. These activating thoughts lead to positive or negative body image emotions that in turn lead to actions and reactions, such as habitually trying to change your appearance or avoiding your looks all together.

By facing past experiences and recognizing current triggers, you are taking the first step to changing the future.

2. Deliberately challenge your thinking

No amount of plastic surgery, dieting, weaving or waxing can change your body image. But, you can. Thoughts produce feelings. If you want to change your feelings about your body, start by changing your thoughts. When negative voices creep into your mind chiding you for your freckled nose or flabby arms, challenge them. Talk back to them. Choose to dismiss them. Redirect them. Develop mantras and positive affirmations of your own, or use some of the following:

• I love and respect my body.

• I deserve health, energy and peace.

• I enjoy being positive and having positive feelings.

• My inside is healthy and my outside is about to catch up.

• I am created in the image of God.

3. Enjoy your strengths

Take some time looking in the mirror and objectively describing your physical characteristics: "I have hazel eyes, straight shoulders, shapely hands and muscled calves."¯ Force yourself to find physical features you appreciate and like and then write them on the mirror and read them over and over. When you get dressed in the morning, vocally praise yourself for areas that please you. Compliment yourself and accept the compliments of others. Choose to embrace characteristics that are uniquely yours and celebrate your strengths.

4. Increase your gratitude

Live in thanksgiving daily for every body part which functions normally. Count yourĀ 10 toes, appreciate your sense of hearing, smile at your heartbeats and breathe in gratitude. The human body is a remarkable machine producing 300 billion new cells every day, remembering 50,000 different scents and delivering messages to the brain at the speed of 170 miles an hour. Still, when it is perceived as an enemy instead of a gift, it is remarkably easy to take for granted or even abuse your body. Instead of focusing on undesirable characteristics, rejoice in the miracle that is the human body.

Jason, a close family friend, was paralyzed from the neck down in a diving accident. He has made a life and a living of counting his blessings. He exudes confidence and gratitude as he cheers, motivates and blesses others wherever he goes. He has made it his life's work to appreciate the things his mind and body can do. As you cultivate an attitude of gratitude for every experience, sense, thought and function your body gives you, you can't help but develop a healthier body image.

5. Care for your body

My favorite yoga instructor starts out each class by saying, "You've only got one body, so you better take care of it."¯ You don't need the perfect body to practice good hygiene, exercise, eat a well-balanced diet, enjoy the sunshine and breathe deeply. Allow yourself to participate in self-nurturing and pleasurable experiences that soothe or heighten the senses. Be fully engaged and mindfully aware of what you are feeling and listen to the signals and messages your body sends you. Be your body's best friend.

6. Strengthen your spirit

The Bible asks, "Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's"¯ (KJV 1 Corinthians 6:19-20). While it is important to take care of your temple, it is imperative to nourish and strengthen the spirit within. Your mother was right when she told you, "Pretty is as pretty does."¯ A well-known beauty pageant specialist observes that truly beautiful people start with the inside and work out. Strengthen your spirit through prayer, devotion, reading spiritual literature, selflessness and service.

7. Share your progress and positivity with others

Imagine a world where everyone thinks she is beautiful, a place where every shape, size and color is acceptable. Walk one step closer to that world by avoiding "fat chat"¯ and conversations that demean the body. Model a positive body image to your children, friends and neighbors. The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty found that only 2 percent of women around the world would describe themselves as beautiful and thus have started a global conversation about the need for a wider definition of beauty. Check out the following videos to understand how the world's perception of beauty can be distorted, and then work to promote a positive body image in the people around you.

The post 7 ways to improve your body image [VIDEO] appeared first on FamilyToday.

a) Honk and give him a dirty look

b) Curse repeatedly while tailing him for the next two miles

c) Rear end him

d) Make an excuse for him, such as "He must not have seen me."

Your answer to this scenario may give you a glimpse on how you handle anger. One of the greatest resources for understanding and managing anger is the Bible. It tells us that God himself experiences emotions of all kinds: pleasure in his creations, sadness at the loss of his friend Lazarus, and yes, many Bible verses illustrate God's anger being kindled against the unrighteous, the irreverent and the unfaithful. He is described as experiencing provocation and wrath and in his anger punishing individuals and destroying entire cities. And yet, he is the same God that pleads with us to turn the other cheek. So, what exactly is the Biblical message about anger and how can we apply it?

Anger defined

The New Testament usually uses one of two Greek translations of the word anger. One meaning "passion or natural impulse" and the other meaning "inflamed or boiling." One leads us to defend a principle, another person or even ourselves appropriately and the other leads us to cause harm by acting in outrage. Christian author S. Michael Houdmann defines the kind of anger that may be labeled appropriate or just as "God-given energy intended to help us solve problems."

God's anger

When applied to God, this just anger is often called righteous indignation and is described in Psalm 7:11: "God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day." An example of this anger occurs when the Pharisees try to accuse Jesus of doing work on the Sabbath after he heals a man's hand, and Christ "looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts." When God's children break his laws it is only natural that he experience disappointment, frustration and even ire. His indignation (anger) is righteous (justified) because it is precipitated by his feelings about disobedience and unrighteousness upon which he cannot look with the least degree of allowance.

Anger and self-mastery

Anger is an emotion that helps us to navigate our internal world and, as such, it cannot be stuffed or denied. Yet it can be managed. The Biblical mandate is to temper, bridle, control, and harness our passions: "Every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things" (1 Corinthians. 9:25). "School thy feelings, O my brother."

Setting aside anger

The holy record teaches us to regulate and restrain our anger. Think of it as getting a hot pie out of the oven. The pie has been in a heated environment and is going to reflect that temperature. But it is not safe to eat until we have set it aside to cool a little. Anger is a hot feeling; an emotion that we must take notice, respect and then choose to subdue as illustrated in the following three Bible verses.

• Psalms 37:8 "Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil." Staying in a state of rage will only provoke us to do evil, so we are instructed to give up our anger and act in wisdom.

• Ephesians 4:26 "Let not the sun go down upon your wrath." Take the time to work out your angry feelings within the course of the day and not harbor resentments or rage.

• Ephesians 4:31 "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger ... be put away from you." Anger is to be put away, or put aside so as not to cause us to do harm to others or ourselves.

Slowing down anger

The Bible not only instructs us to manage the temperature of our anger but also its speed.

• "He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly" (Proverbs 14:29). As we take a step back from our feelings we will have more time to regulate our actions.

• "Charity ... is not easily provoked" (1 Cor. 13:5). Strive to lengthen your fuse and reaction time.

God's example regarding anger

As our perfect exemplar, God shows us how to handle our anger. In many instances God changes from his wrathful intention of destroying a city such as Nineveh or a people such as the ancient Israelites to showing forgiveness and love. In his own words, "In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee" (Isaiah 54:8).

An excellent example of how to manage anger is set by Jesus when he sees animals and moneychangers polluting the temple of Jerusalem. Clearly disturbed, he takes the time to carefully braid a whip of cords before driving out all the animals and instructing the merchants to leave their wares. He experiences a natural feeling but controls his actions.

Unlearning anger

Family advocate and public speaker Boyd K. Packer teaches, "True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior." Studying the Bible will help you put off anger, wrath and malice as you put on Christ and become a new creature in him.

The next time your teenager talks to you with that tone, your boss misunderstands you, or a driver cuts you off, sing a hymn, recite a Bible verse, breathe and count to 10. Remember to slow your anger down, cool it off and follow Christ's example.

The post Overcoming anger through Bible teachings appeared first on FamilyToday.

Review the classroom

Schools are usually open during the last weeks of summer, and it is a good time to visit your child's classroom, lunchroom and bus area. If your school holds a meet and greet for students and teachers to get to know each other, be sure to attend. It will help both you and your child to have as much information as possible before the year starts.

Ready supplies

In the weeks before school starts, check out school websites for lists of needed supplies and purchase at least the basics. The night before school begins set out equipped backpacks and plan the day's outfit so you won't be scrambling more than eggs the next morning.

Reflect on the past and anticipate the future

The Sunday before school begins our family holds a family meeting to review schedules, routines and goals for the new year. We discuss past successes and highlights of the previous year to reassure children that great times are around the corner. We also participate in a special prayer and then write down thoughts and feelings for children to refer to throughout the coming year. This tradition helps to calm nerves and increase anticipation for a bright and happy school year.

Read

Young children almost always have butterflies about the first day of school and helping them anticipate what to expect can alleviate anxieties. Great back to school literature abounds to help children relate to characters undertaking new experiences. First Day Jitters, Franklin Goes to School, Pooh's First Day of School, Junie B., First Grader (at Last!), and Middle School, the Real Deal are all excellent resources to help ease jittery nerves.

wRite a note

Write your child a note expressing your love and confidence and slip it into her lunchbox or stick it on her new folder. While 'tweens may act embarrassed at such a gesture, they secretly appreciate the encouragement and love.

Remember rituals

Whether you tell a particular bedtime story the night before or a make special breakfast the morning of that first day, establish some back to school rituals your child can count on and look forward to. Every year when they walk in the door my children know homemade chocolate chip cookies and a listening ear will be waiting for them. It's a tradition my mom established that I cherish and thus continue with my own family. Rituals bind families together and provide security and warmth at a time that can be challenging.

Record memories

Regardless of your child's begrudging attitude, pull out the camera and snap a photo of him on the first day of school. Make a sign with his age and grade and have him hold it when you take the picture to help you remember the details. Don't forget to snap a few shots of the neighbor kids at the bus stop. Someday the kids will treasure the memories those pictures capture.

Rearrange your schedule

If at all possible, arrange your schedule so you can be present when your child leaves and comes home that first day. It is a pivotal time for her and you don't want to miss out on all the details. If you are a stay-at-home parent, stop the housework or step away from the computer at least 30 minutes before she comes home so that you can mentally switch from your own agenda to your child's. Being there for her goes a long way to communicating your love.

Reflectively listen

Be fully engaged as your child reports about his first day. He will likely be providing all kinds of information about events, people and feelings. As you reflectively listen you will glean important facts as well as perspectives. If you have more than one child, be sure to set aside time to listen to and understand each one.

Relax!

When that first day on the job is over, sit back and relax a little with the kids. Enjoy a good dinner before starting to fill out all the paperwork, and know that you've all taken your first step toward a fantastic new year at school.

The post Beyond the three Rs: How to have a fantastic first day of school appeared first on FamilyToday.

Step 1: File it; don't pile it

Clear out a drawer, cupboard, filing cabinet or a few inches of closet space and designate it as the paper space. This area will be for storing papers that you need to easily and routinely access. Try to have one drawer or shelf per child and label it accordingly. If you have a front closet without any shelves, buy a hanging canvas shoe organizer or a plastic file box that you can store in the closet or tuck under a desk or table. A notebook filled with tabs and clear sheet protectors is also a good way to organize important papers, especially if you are short on space.

Step 2: What's in a name?

Decide on broad categories for school papers and create file folders that are clearly labeled, using pictures or designated colors for younger children. Categories might include things such as:

• Classroom rules

• Grading rubrics

• Class phone lists

• Class calendars

• Homework in progress

• Keepsakes and scrapbook materials

Step 3: Know the ins and outs

Create a clearly labeled in box and out box. These can be folders in a file or boxes on the counter, but they are intended for processing paperwork. Train the kids to put parent homework in the in box and look for it in the out box. If you have several children, you might consider assigning each child a color and then placing colored folders in the out box to keep assignments straight. Ask older children to highlight due dates and instructions.

Step 4: Child labor laws don't apply

Train children to fill out as much paperwork as possible, so all you have to do is read and sign it. Even young children can at least write their name and phone number on papers.

Step 5: Read 'em or weep

Kids are usually in a race to have you read through and sign papers. They've often been promised treats or extra points for returning papers in a timely manner. Try to get paperwork quickly back to the teacher, but do yourself a favor and read it carefully before returning, and when important, make a copy for your own files. Frequently the information that comes home at the beginning of the school year outlines the whole course or objective of the class and is worth absorbing fully.

Step 6: Every paper in its place

Once you have looked at all the papers, assign them a place: on your child's paper shelf, in your "in"¯ box, your filing cabinet, or the recycling bin. Enter as much information as possible on your phone, computer, or calendar so that you can throw the paper out. If you are a paper person and remember things better with paper, tuck important notices into your planning book or pin them on a message board. Don't just pile them up and plan to deal with them later. Avoid moving things from one pile to another. Make a decision and put things in their place the first time so you'll know where to find them later.

Step 7: Create a wall of fame

Some paper needs to be celebrated, not just processed, and so every child needs a place to show off some of his work. Designate a closet door, a bulletin board, a wall, a ceiling or some special area to display artwork, certificates, special homework and great grades. Encourage family members to notice and mention work well done. Siblings can leave comment cards on the wall or children can bring work to the dinner table for others to recognize and praise.

Step 8: Treasure it; then toss it

Display schoolwork for a certain period of time or until your board gets full and then force yourself (and your child) to let it go. I make a sign stating the child's name, age, and grade, as well as the month or season represented on our wall of fame. Then I have the child hold the sign and take a picture of him in front of all his special work to preserve memorable projects.

If your child is a paper junky, give her a notebook or small box for keepsakes. Help her sort it often to make room for new treasures. Reserve a few special pieces to frame or place in the child's scrapbook, either in whole or in part. Send schoolwork to grandparents or aunts and uncles, make it into stationary or placemats, or use information to create a family game. Preserve research papers and written reports on a computer disc. Create ways to treasure the content and the memory without saving every scrap.

Step 9: Paper cuts

If you've played your cards right, you will have a healthy stack of paper in the round file (a.k.a. trash). Have older children cut up discarded papers (not once-treasured papers you have smuggled out during the night) to use as scratch paper or let younger children help you put paper through a safe shredder. Remember to recycle.

Most schools use blogs and other computer resources to disseminate information. When online information is available, use it instead of a hard copy, so you have less paper to deal with in the first place.

Step 10: Celebrate!

If you've followed these steps, you have broken some heavy paper chains and deserve a reward. Treat yourself to a meal using paper plates or go out on the town and spend a few paper bills!

The post Managing and organizing back to school paperwork appeared first on FamilyToday.