Sometimes people hit a point in their current relationship where they start to evaluate things. They begin to wonder whether or not they want to continue with their current relationship or if they want to seek another one. Not every couple is meant to be, but sometimes determine whether or not it's time to move on can be tough. While commitment in a marriage needs to be taken very seriously, these are some things to consider for those who are still in the dating phase.

You're bored

This is when you hit a point where some things have changed. It is one thing to be comfortable with your significant other, but it's another to be bored. You become apathetic about spending time with him, and you want to do other things. If the relationship has gotten a little tedious, then you can spice things up with going to new places and experiencing new things. But when you're bored with the person, it could be a sign that you're ready to move on.

You've grown apart

After a long time of being in a relationship, things change, and people change. While being together was fun, sometimes you both want to go your separate ways. When communication has dwindled, and you find that you and your partner are heading in different directions, it could be time to call it off. When you begin to focus less and less on the relationship and more on yourselves, communication breaks down, and when that's okay with you, chances are it's over.

You crave alone time

Everyone needs his personal space, but when you want space more than you want to see your partner, it's a red flag. When the other person's presence annoys you, and you just want them to leave, that should tell you something. The Huffington Post summed this up really well in one sentence: "When not being with her made me happier than being with her." Once you hit this point, it's hard to go back.

You think about breaking up

If you're thinking more and more about what it would be like to be single, then you have already started to take yourself out of it. When you start thinking about what it would be like to date others, those options may pull you closer to the answer you already know: you're looking for a way out. When the thought becomes more like a fantasy, you're going to want to make it come true.

You don't see it working in the long run

You've been with your partner for a while, and while things have been good, you can't see things going long term. This may be a sign to end it. Plenty of people have relationships that work well until the question of long-term commitment comes up.

Cosmopolitan says, "You want out of your relationship because the thought of spending the rest of your life with your current partner makes you shudder." You may have been committed to each other while dating, but if you can't see yourself possibly getting married to that person, or you don't see the two of you being together in the future, there isn't much point in sticking around.

Not all relationships are meant to work out. That can be a good thing because you get to experience different people to help you find the one you really want to be with. Just because this relationship didn't work out doesn't mean the next one won't. Remember, your life is like a play, some people are main characters throughout and others just make an appearance to help the story progress.

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For some, it's easy to spot losers. They are the person you date who you think you have a connection with and can see all their faults, but ignore them. Now, everyone has faults, but those aren't the faults I'm talking about. I'm talking about the ones that prevent you from taking this person home to your parents. The ones that can kill a relationship before it starts. The thing about losers, though, is they are easy to spot if you have a trained eye.

Many of my friends have dated absolute losers, and they all had some things in common. Some of my friends didn't notice their girlfriend or boyfriend was a loser until it had to be spelled out for them. So, if you're wondering if the person you or your friend is dating is a loser, see if they have any of these 5 red flags.

Temper, Temper!

Most of the time, people with incredibly bad tempers are losers. There is nothing worse than a grown man or woman throwing the same tantrums as a five year old who doesn't get what he or she wants at the store. If they throw things around, let their temper get the best of them all the time, and are easily enraged by simple things that a grown person should be able to handle, then they aren't mature and aren't worth your time. They will eventually start taking their temper out on you. Don't waste your time with them. You don't want to have to tell your mother that your significant other is cooling off in the car because you didn't text them back within two minutes.

They Don't Have A Plan

Many would say that not having a job makes someone a loser, but I disagree. I know plenty of driven and determined people who are between jobs or what they want to do doesn't entail working a nine-to-five. A person can have a job and still be a loser. The key thing is they have to have a plan. If they don't have a job or are stuck in a dead-end one with no plans to get out of the situation or don't care to, then you've found yourself a loser. Any driven and determined person will find out how to get where they want to be. Losers will stay where they are and blame others for their misfortunes.

They attach themselves quickly

If it's been a month and they have already said they love you, they are getting too attached too early. They are just looking for someone to be attached to. These are the desperate dates that are just looking for someone, anyone, to spend time with. Psychologist Joseph M. Carver says, ""The Loser" has very shallow emotions and connections with others." They will quickly have feelings for you that could just as quickly fade away.

They Put You Down

Losers don't want you to know they are losers, so they make you feel like one. They will attempt to put down your dreams because they can't do it themselves, or they will make you feel unattractive so that you think you can't find anyone better. This leads to him or her treating you badly and you thinking you deserve it. Well, you don't. Remember Eleanor Roosevelt's fantastic quote, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

They're Super Controlling

Losers are paranoid and terrified of being broken up with so they will do everything to prevent it, especially if they know you are better than them. They will try to pull you away from your friends and only spend time with them, they will watch your every move, and they will do some rather stalkerish or insecure things so they have control over you. They want to know where you are at all times, who you're with, and they don't want you to go out with friends because, God forbid, you might you have without them. Don't let someone control you. Relationships are meant to be two independent people coming together to take on the world together, not to control one another. If they're super controlling, they have trust issues and as the famous meme goes, "Ain't nobody got time for dat."

Losers are all over the place. You may not be able to see it as easily in the beginning, but you will eventually take notice. These tips will allow you to spot losers much faster. Beware, being entangled in a loser's web can turn you into one yourself. Don't settle for a loser. Instead, land yourself a champion.

Written by Drew Schroeder for Healthyliving.care.

The post 5 sure signs you are dating a loser appeared first on FamilyToday.

More women are becoming the breadwinners in families than ever before.

According to data analyst Mona Chalabi, 38 percent of women are outearning their husbands. The number of women as the primary earner in the family has been increasing over the years as salaries have come closer to equality. Some men do not know how to deal with their wife making more money than them. Tradition has told men that they are supposed to be the providers but now with more working women becoming the primary providers, men have become disgruntled. Men need to understand the benefits of their wives earning more money.

Being the breadwinner of the family can be a tender topic for some men. Back when it was expected for the man to be the primary provider and the women raised the kids, the family's financial well-being rested on the man's shoulders. Now that isn't always the case. Because of tradition, many men may feel disappointed in themselves or have their egos damaged when they are not the primary providers. Here are 6 reasons why your wife making more than you can be a good thing.

It supports the belief that family comes first

Don't let your ego get the best of you. Just because your wife makes more money than you doesn't mean you are any less of a man. Understand that the family comes first. Your wife making more money shouldn't be a problem because it means that the family has more money. Financial stability, no matter who provides it, is a key aspect to a family.

It provides less stress

You get to take a load off your shoulders. For centuries, men have had to suffer with the stresses of working bad jobs to make ends meet and have all the financial responsibility fall upon them. Now, you don't have that much financial stress because the breadwinning isn't on your shoulders. That isn't an excuse for you to not work if you can't afford it, but it may allow you to find a career in something you've always enjoyed rather than doing something simply for the money.

It opens up opportunities

Explore the opportunities you have. You can shop around for a better job and not have to worry about the stability of the one you currently have. You even have more time to develop a hobby if you don't already have one, or you get to spend more time doing the ones you already have. Plenty of men also use this as an opportunity to go back to school. At one time, going back and finishing your bachelors or getting that masters degree might have been hard to imagine, but now you may have the opportunity to go back and get the degree you've wanted and possibly make more money going forward.

You get to spend more time with the kids

Use this as an opportunity to be SuperDad. Since your job isn't necessarily the one the family relies on, you can focus on the kids. The National At-Home Dad Network says there are now 1.45 million stay at-home dads, a number that has doubled over the past ten years.

I don't know about you, but I want to be the father that is at every one of his kids' little league games. My dad missed only four of my high school baseball games in four years. Without the pressures of work, you get to focus on your children and watch them grow up rather than having to miss so many important events. Having your parents around for things such as these are a huge deal to kids growing up and it encourages them to rely on their parents. An adjustment in a work schedule may seem small to you, but being able to support your children in their activities means a great deal to them.

Allows you to become a better parent

Not being the primary provider enables you to focus on other things aside from work. Now you can focus on your parenting skills. Learn how to properly discipline your kids, learn what your kids like and don't like, and be there to teach your kids. There are numerous ways you can become a better parent. Some people have natural instincts when it comes to parenting and others must work at it. Take the time to learn different parenting methods, your kids will thank you for it later on.

Allows you to become a better husband

No woman likes having all the housework, childrearing, and cooking fall on them. This opportunity enables you to identify this relationship as a partnership. Do some chores to help maintain the house and learn to cook if you don't already know how. She will love that you recognize her responsibilities outside of the home as well as the ones that often fall in her lap when she returns home.

Your wife earning more money is only a bad thing if you think it is. Not being the primary provider shouldn't emasculate you. Instead it allows you more opportunities to spend time with your kids, be a better father and husband, and pursue things in your own career that you would like as well.

Written by Drew Schroeder for Healthyliving.care.

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Love is a great thing, and it seems to be everywhere. Everywhere you look you see couples in love. If you are in a relationship you barely notice, but if you aren't in a relationship you can't help but notice. Relationships truly are great but if you are single and missing the joys of a relationship - that obsession can really get in your way of finding love. In her article for Match.com, Jane Hoskyn said, "The more desperate you are, the more desperate you'll seem, and the less sexy you'll be."

There is a fine line between being happily involved and acting desperate. Do any of these behaviors apply to you?

You are always available

You are always at his beck and call. Any time the person asks you to get together you are willing to rearrange your schedule to be with him. Don't get me wrong, it is good to make time for the person you are in a relationship with, but if you are always available, it can be a sign of desperation. Accepting every invitation especially those that are on late notice, shows the other person you don't have much going on aside from him.

You lower your standards

In other words, you make yourself available to those you wouldn't otherwise give a second look. If you drop your standards to date the guy or girl who doesn't have desirable traits, it can be a sign of desperation. You know what you deserve. Don't settle for less. When you date someone who falls below your standards, you are settling for someone who doesn't deserve you.

You are clingy

Do you find yourself constantly texting, calling and trying to spend every waking moment with him? You are being clingy. Give him or her room to breathe. If you are trying to be part of every single part of his day, he will feel like you aren't giving him space, and it will scare him away. Give him space and, in turn, be sure your space is respected as well. You don't need to be with him every second of the day. Truthfully, it's better if you aren't. Forcing constant contact merely sheds light on your insecurities.

Getting too involved too quickly

A new relationship is a major boost to one's outlook on life. But if you're planning the life you and your partner are going to have together, and it has only been a few months, you need to slow down. Your new partner might simply be testing the waters with you and being too involved too early can put a wedge in your relationship. Take your time and enjoy getting to know the person before you get overly involved.

You need constant relationship status updates

"What are we?" "Where is this going?" If you are asking for weekly relationship updates, you're going to drive your partner away. Needing constant reassurance shows your own insecurity about being in a relationship. It's like driving a five-hour trip and having a little kid asking "are we there yet?" every five minutes. Focus less on the status of the relationship and more on getting to know the person. The status will come with time.

You are constantly trying to please

If you are agreeing to like the same things he likes in the hopes he will like you more, or you are changing things about yourself for the same reason, it screams desperation. He should like you for who you are. Don't change yourself for the people you date because you will lose sight of who YOU are. Are You Showing These 5 Signs of Desperation by eHarmony says, "The trouble with someone like this is that you will never really be able to trust them or get close to them because, at a fundamental level, they are being dishonest with themselves and with you." Be yourself and be true to who you are. They should love you for you.

Desperation is an ugly little thing that can damage relationships. Don't let your insecurities get the better of you. Be proud of who you are and don't change yourself for someone just to get another date. Be honest with him and yourself. Being confident and independent, prioritizing, and doing what's best for you will pay off. Desperation will drive potential dates away. Confidence, however, is a proven trait that will get you more dates and will make you happier in many other aspects of life aside from dating.

Written by Drew Schroeder for Healthyliving.care.

The post 7 signs you are pathetically desperate for love appeared first on FamilyToday.

For many young men and women, college is their first taste of freedom away from home, yet times can get tough. According to a study by NAMI, "More than 80 percent of college students felt overwhelmed by all they had to do in the past year and 45 percent have felt things were hopeless." This statistic gives you a sense of what college students are dealing with. As much as you may want to treat them like your little boy or girl, there are things you can do that will encourage them to grow and figure things out for themselves.

Teach them through opportunities

There were certain tasks that could have been shown to me instead of done for me. Filling out scholarship forms, applications and taxes are just a few things that should be shown to your kids so they can do it themselves and not depend on you.

"If you've never been a morning person, now is the time to practice getting up early," advised contributor Michaele Charles in the article, 6 Tips to Get You Mentally Prepared for College. "If you are bad at budgeting, laundry or cooking, don't wait until adulthood to learn."

Encourage your college-bound child to prepare meals for the family or come with you during trips to the grocery store. This can help your young person become familiar with meal planning and budgeting. If your child is taking a car to school, be sure he or she knows the basic rules for maintenance and repairs.

Allow them to be independent

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This means more than just letting them do what they want. Independence means taking responsibility for yourself. After always having Mom and Dad watch their back, they need to understand that they need to manage themselves. They are responsible for their grades, how they manage their time, their job; all of those things are now up to them to maintain. They will learn to understand and appreciate what being independent means.

Despite this new adventure, remind your child that a reliable support system is still in place when needed. "The first semester or year of college can be overwhelming in good and bad ways, and you may sometimes need people outside of your college friends and classmates to talk to," explained Charles. "Even if you're eager to be on your own, stay in touch with the people in your life who have your best interests at heart and are there for you when you need support."

Don't assume

When I signed my first lease for an apartment, I didn't get a copy of the contract until the office sent it to me because I didn't know I needed to get a copy that same day for my own protection. My dad flipped. "How do you not know to do that?" My response was, "Just because something may be common sense to you, doesn't mean it makes sense to me." There are certain things you don't want your kids to find out the hard way.

"Kids need clear guidelines about what your expectations are, and without these being spelled out, disasters can occur," warned Clinical Psychologist Ruth A. Peters, Ph.D., in the article, How to Get Your Teen Ready For College. "Now, not after a disastrous month or two, is the time to discuss your expectations with your child."

Help them pay for school

My parents told me they would help me pay for my first two years of college, and after that I was on my own. This was a big wakeup call for me because I had to find a way to come up with my tuition. I never realized how expensive college was until I had to foot the bill.

I thank my parents for doing this for me because it forced me to grow up in a way that encouraged success while avoiding an overwhelming financial situation that may have discouraged my progress.

It can be tough for a young adult to adapt to college life. Being on your own, being responsible for yourself, and being expected to figure your whole life out can be overwhelming. As parents, you need to be supportive and helpful, but remember that your goal is to make them into strong independent young men and women. By showing them how to do things, allowing them to be independent, and helping them when they need it, you can make college a much happier and useful experience for your children.

Written by Drew Schroeder for Healthyliving.care

The post Smart ways to prevent your kid from making dumb mistakes in college appeared first on FamilyToday.

Stop me when this sounds familiar. "I thought he was the perfect man for me. He told me he loved me, but he says he's not ready. What does that even mean?"

Plenty of women have heard this, and many more would like to know what it means. It is a difficult thing to accept and can sometimes be very difficult to understand, but it is something that plenty of men see as an understandable reason to avoid a serious relationship. There are three main reasons why a man may use this in regards to a relationship, and it can tell you a lot about him.

He's afraid of failure

Not afraid of a failed relationship, but afraid of deeper things. Thanks to tradition and custom, men have been told they must be dedicated providers and protectors. When he says "I'm not ready," it could mean he is unsure of his ability to be those things. Men do not like to fail, especially as a spouse or father. If he feels, at any point, that he may not be able to live up to his commitment or feels that he may fail, he will not make that commitment. This comes from his desire to be reliable and stable. The worst thing you can do is pressure him about it.

"Your 'commitment-phobe' may worry about his capacity to be a good partner or parent (possibly also on account of a difficult childhood)," suggested Relationship Therapist Elly Prior in her post, What To Do When He (or She) is Scared of Commitment. "He may have experienced disappointments and has come to see himself as a 'failure' in general. This may lead to fear of commitment in other areas too."

Consequently, if he does commit after being pushed, you will have a man who is constantly questioning himself and his abilities. Those feelings will surely lead to resentment in the future.

He doesn't have a plan

No one enjoys the chaos of figuring out your future. The stress of the unknown can get to you. When you have an overwhelming amount of professional and personal issues consuming your time, adding the expectations of a relationship on top of that doesn't allow you to focus on the relationship.

"School and work are common excuses used by commitment-phobes to stay out of a serious relationship," wrote Eric Santos in his article, 8 Ways to Know You're Dating a Guy With Commitment Issues

"While in college, I used the excuse, 'I'm just focusing on school,' to not date anyone seriously. After college, I used a similar excuse: 'I'm just focused on being an entrepreneur.' Don't get me wrong; mixing in a relationship while being focused on school or work can be difficult, especially if you're trying to get a business off the ground. However, if a guy is willing to be committed, he will find a work-life balance."

Like most people, your man doesn't want to commit to something halfway. Instead he wants to be totally committed with no doubts. If he doesn't have other aspects of his life figured out, he's going to want to square that all away beforehand.

He's not ready to settle down

A lot of men view any kind of long-term committed relationship as settling down. Although you can (and should) go out and do exciting things together, it still can seem to him as though he's making a commitment to settling down, and some men don't feel ready to do that.

This means a lot when you realize he wants to be ready for it yet isn't willing to waste your time if he isn't. Many men take that a step further as they see pressure and responsibility come from a long-term committed relationship. Deep down they may care about you, but they aren't prepared to make decisions that affect "we" instead of "me."

When a man says he isn't ready, don't take it personally. The majority of the time, it has nothing to do with the significant other and everything to do with the man, himself.

"The best thing to do in this situation is to give your man enough space to develop the emotional attachment to you that is necessary for him to want to commit. Pushing things are trying to get closer to him will just smother him and make him want to pull further away," warned Adrienne Mansfield in the article, 3 Reasons Your Man Will Not Commit.

Let him take his time. Nothing says you have to wait around, but try to understand where he's coming from. Some people are ready for commitment long before others, and maybe his time hasn't come yet. If you believe that he is the one for you, and you believe he will be ready one day then waiting could end up with you both being happy together.

_Written by Drew Schroeder for HealthyLiving.care

The post What he means when he says, ‘I’m not ready’ appeared first on FamilyToday.

In this day and age monetary awareness is more important than ever. The economy is unpredictable, jobs are much harder to come by and less stable, and we have more things than ever before begging for our money. Being mindful of your money does not mean hoarding it, but it is important to be conscientious of why and how, as well as how often, you are spending your money.

Many people think they are short on cash or simply not making enough money when, really, they aren't managing their money well. I have a few friends who claim they don't have enough money and yet they spend $6 on a single cup of coffee every morning when a pot costs less than a dollar. According to Nerdwallet.com, the average credit card holds $15,863 in debt, which wouldn't seem all that bad until you stop to consider that many people hold multiple credit cards. The truth is, just by eliminating bad habits you will see your wallet begin to get bigger.

1. Not being conscious of your transactions

People buy things every day. When people buy small things they don't view them as a bank breaker. But when those small purchases become multiple purchases, the bank takes a bigger hit than many realize. By paying close attention to your spending you can see exactly where your money is going and how much you are spending. Mint.com is a fantastic free app that categorizes all your transactions, allowing you to securely manage your money and know exactly where it's going.

2. Not establishing budgets

I say "budgets" because having individual budgets for things can allow you to spend your money more wisely. One big budget enables you to purchase whatever you want as long as it doesn't reach a certain limit. Smaller individual budgets enable you to break down that big goal, focusing on establishing necessities like rent, groceries, car payments, etc., and leaving a designated amount of money for non-necessity spending. Once again, Mint.com is a great way to manage this.

3. Using credit cards you can't afford

The need for short-term cash can be a great one. Having quick money is a privilege that many people take advantage of, but it comes back to bite them. Many people think of credit cards as quick money they have, when it is really someone else's money (a credit card company's) they will soon need to pay back. The debt can rack up more quickly than many realize and it could cause them severe financial issues later.

4. Not Saving

Spending money right as you get it has obvious repercussions, but this applies to two types of saving: long- and short-term. Saving for the long-term means putting away a specific amount of your income in order to save up a large amount. This means saving for a house, a car, your future children's college funds, or when life happens. Short-term saving means managing your budgets and adding to that long-term piggy bank. It also means taking the excess money from your paycheck that doesn't go into those funds and, instead of using it on immediate wants, saving it for a time when you may want something a little more pricey.

5. Impulse Spending

We have all done it. Buying a new wardrobe because you were having a bad week and wanted to feel better, splurging on a new computer when the one you have works just as well, or a massive purchase, like buying a new car because your friend got a new one. People have moments of impulse spending and not all are bad, but if you need to be money conscious, multiple instances of impulse spending can accumulate and leave you relying on pennies. Make money decisions the way you would make other decisions: logically and without emotion.

With our current economy and job markets, being able to effectively manage your budget is a much needed skill. Millennials need these skills even more because they have the largest amounts of debt starting out, due to school loans and tuition payments. A recent Wells Fargo survey found that 4 out of 10 millennials are overwhelmed with student loan debt. When you have loans that need to be paid back each month, ensuring that you are capable of doing so is essential. Keeping an eye on your transactions, watching budgets and other small actions can end up saving you big. Being able to manage your money can help you to be financially prepared for family, relationships, and children.

Written by Drew Schroeder for healthyliving.care

The post 5 money habits that will smack you in the wallet appeared first on FamilyToday.

Companionship: an essential part of our healthy existence as human beings. Whether we like to admit it or not, most of us would find it very difficult to go through life alone. Friends and family are essential, but eventually we need something more. We need someone to be there with us emotionally and to take on the world. That's where dating comes in.

Dating is the beginning of every marriage and every future family. But the dating game is more than just a game; it can determine with whom you start a family. Unfortunately, when it comes to dating, men and women have found it very difficult to understand each other and be on the same page. People have various opinions on how to handle dating, but these five things need to stop in order to have a healthy dating life.

1. Stop leading people on

If you are not looking to date, then don't lead someone to believe that you are. It will be a waste of their time and yours and can lead to an angry ending. By being honest with someone, it will save both of you time and makes it easier for you to start off on the same page.

2. Stop being dishonest

Going off of the last point, dishonesty is the Bubonic Plague of relationships. Cheating, lying (even by omission), and general dishonesty always find its way to the surface, and it never bodes well. By being honest, you avoid future pain and suffering for both you and the person you care for. And if you don't care for them, you shouldn't be in the relationship anyway. If there isn't honesty in the relationship, neither of you will trust each other, and the relationship will slowly or quickly crumble away.

3. Stop distrusting everyone

If you're constantly worrying about whether your significant other is cheating, lying, etc., you are most likely not ready for a relationship or the person you are with is not worth your time. If you cannot trust the person you are dating or you cannot trust people in general because of past pain or experience, then you aren't ready to date. Trust is essential in relationships. Without it, you will be constantly paranoid, the relationship will not get very far and it will include many arguments. You significant other should not have to be subjected to your relationship insecurity just as you should not be subjected to theirs.

4. Stop comparing your new GF/BF to your ex

They are not your ex. If they were, you would break up anyway. Too many people compare their current relationships to their past ones. There are reasons why your ex is your ex and doing the constant comparison will either make you set low standards because "anything is better than the last relationship" or you set insurmountable standards that your new partner is held to. Just because your ex cheated on you does not mean your new partner will. No man likes being compared to his new girlfriend's ex, and no woman likes being compared to her new boyfriend's ex.

5. Stop saying "yes" all the time

Just because you are starting to go out with someone, does not mean you have to change yourself for them. Don't say "yes" to everything they want to do, unless of course you actually want to do them. Don't lead them to believe you're someone you're not. It is better that you be upfront about your differences. You want someone to like you for you, not for who you have changed yourself to be for them. You will get tired of pretending to be someone you're not, and it will come out.

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but these five things will help prevent a lot of headaches and heartbreaks. By being honest, upfront, trusting and trustworthy, you will find the right person to start a relationship with and have a family. Healthy relationship practices can be passed down to your current or future children for them to have healthy relationships as well.

The post 5 things that need to stop immediately to have a healthy dating life appeared first on FamilyToday.