My son has always been naturally skiddish. Or "¦ so I thought. It took us months for him to have the confidence to go down the spiral slide at the park near us, and once he did, it seemed like it took ages before he was ready to do it again.

I tried to be right there, putting a guiding hand on him and holding his hand whenever he felt a little bit nervous. If he went too high, I'd give him a gentle reminder, saying "Be Careful!" to the point that anytime he'd get someplace even remotely high off the ground, he'd look at me and say "Be careful!" to make sure I knew he was doing something dangerous and I should be there watching. And by dangerous, I meant sliding down the slide barely two lengths of his body in our basement "¦ not a scary drop at all.

I thought it was OK for him to stay close to the ground, that maybe it'd keep him safe. After my brother broke his collarbone last winter, I knew that it was practically best to wrap my son in bubblewrap to prevent similar injuries. So, time and time again, I stayed right there keeping careful watch on every slide, climbing apparatus, and swingset. I was being a good mom, right? Keeping watch over my son is a good thing.

Until one day, Zach helped me realize maybe I wasn't doing things right after all

It started first at our local park, as Zach climbed the steps to the spiral slide. I offered my hand, and he backed down the steps again, scared of the slide's height. He just couldn't do it, and that was OK. But then he had a second thought, and he looked at me and said "Back! Back!" I stood back, away from the scary slide. I assumed that he asked me to give him space so he could finish his descent down the steps, but what he did shocked me. He put on a brave face, climbed to the top, and slid down the giant spiral slide. He then climbed again, said "Back, mom!" and slid down again.

We left the park that day both feeling a sense of pride, relief, and elation that he had conquered the slide, the highest point in the park.

Soon after that day, we went to a park playdate at a park with some of Zach's friends from his music and movement class. Zach reminded me only once that day, "Back, mom."

This park had one interesting feature, a large pair of climbing rocks about 5 feet tall and 6 feet tall, respectively. They had webbing between them, allowing the kids to climb to the top and back down again, as well as handholds on the sides so kids could climb up the side normally. At one point, Zach stood tall on the 5 foot rock. The other kids were smattered along the webbing, and I knew that Zach was looking ready to get down. I started to approach, to see if he needed help.

But I went slowly "¦ in my head, all I could hear was "Back, mom, Back!" I knew that he was capable, I did, but my mom instinct told me that the only way we were leaving this park was in the back of an ambulance, and that I better make sure we have everything we need to go straight to the hospital from the park.

And then, as my heart raced, as kids climbed, as my son stood on that rock, time froze.

And he jumped.

He was fine. We made it home from the park without even so much as a scrape or bump.

It's true "¦ my own fears, fears he'd fall or not fit in or that we'd go straight to the hospital from the park had kept my son from facing his fears and playing with the other kids. I never wanted to be a helicopter parent, hovering over my son's every move, making sure he'd be safe, bubble wrapping him like I found myself doing emotionally. My fears were a box, one he couldn't escape, because he felt my anxiety and didn't do things because he knew I didn't feel safe, not because he didn't feel safe.

So from now on, feel free to think I'm not being a good mom because I'm sitting on the bench reading a book. I'll be silently realizing that the best way to be a good mom to my son is to let him find his way. Will we end up in the emergency room? Yeah, I'm sure we will once or twice. I can almost guarantee there will be a bump or bruise or broken bone somewhere down the line. But I also know that my son is a brave little dude, and that we're both going to be just fine "¦ no bubble wrap necessary.

Editor's note: This article was originally published on Jenni Schoenberger's blog, Mama Plus One. It has been modified and republished here with permission.

The post When letting go of your child is downright scary appeared first on FamilyToday.

Editor's note: This article was originally published on Jenni Schoenberger's blog, Mama Plus One. It has been modified and republished here with permission.

The National Day of Prayer is held the first Thursday of May. There's a lot of interest in focusing our prayers on the National level. It is so common for us to get into our bubble and pray for our family, ourselves, the leaders in our own church, or close friends and family who have a need. What I love about the National Day of Prayer is that it's reminding us to pray for our government, for our leaders, and for the things that affect us as a whole, nationally.

It is incredibly important for people to spend time praying for their local communities, not just on one specific day, but in the same way as they'd pray for family, friends, themselves, their job, their stress, and the other things on the prayer list. Not as a duty, but as something that comes naturally, like breathing.

But when it comes time to pray for your own community, it can be hard to think of what prayer the community really needs. Where is there a prayer need? I decided to take a walk and think about how I could best pray for my community.

1. Pray for neighbors

As I walked, I realized a natural way to do this was to pray for neighbors. I encourage you to try this, as well, walking past your neighbors' homes on a prayer walk and praying for those who live near you. Maybe you live in an apartment, where you have lots of neighbors all in your building, or maybe you're in the country or on a farm where your closest neighbors could be even miles away. Either way, pray for those who are around you.

If you know of a specific need your neighbor has, pray for that. If not, pray that God will be present in whatever needs they may have, or whatever they may be facing. If you don't know what prayer needs they have, it's a good opportunity to get to know your neighbors and see if there is a tangible way you can serve them.

2. Pray for leadership

From there, you can pray for the leadership in your local community. Ask God to help your town's leadership and put his hand on the leaders in your town, in all of the various roles, from the Mayor and the City Council, to the School Board, Superintendent, and Principals, to the local community boards. Our town, for example, has a Fall Festival Committee, and that's a specific leadership group that needs prayer right there alongside those who are working on the day-to-day needs of the town. It's important to pray that God put his hand on those who are making decisions for the town, and praying that they will make decisions that honor Him.

3. Pray for the local schools

As you pray for the leadership, pray for the local schools, as well. Pray that the teachers will raise up strong children who become future leaders themselves. Pray for the bullies, that their hearts will soften, and for the bullied, that they can stand strong in the face of adversity. Pray for the principals as they make decisions running their schools, for the nurses to have a healing touch, for school law enforcement and school resource officers to keep kids safe, and for the students that their minds and hearts will be open to education, and to the Lord. Pray for the safety as kids are at school, and pray for the students' home lives, as well.

4. Pray for churches in your community

One area that sometimes gets overlooked is praying for churches in your community. Often, we all feel this tendency to pray for our own church or our own pastor, or our own youth or leadership teams, but we forget that there are many churches that work together in a community to spread the Gospel. Pray for other churches in your community, and your own church, that these churches reach out, practice active outreach, serve others, and welcome the community with open arms.

Pray that the Youth in each church are being shaped and led into active, spirited followers of Christ, that the leadership in the church is sound, and that each church in your community is an active and loving representation of the Body of Christ. Pray for each church that their needs are met and that they are able to serve the Lord well.

5. Pray for service programs

Finally, pray for the service programs in your community that they are reaching those in need. If your town has a local food pantry or clothing closet, pray that the people who need those services are getting them. If your town has a multiservice center that helps with various needs, pray they're meeting the needs of the community. Pray that even groups like library storytime are meeting the families who need it, that if even one mom needs that connection with someone, or if even one child needs a meal, or if even one person needs a warm coat, that the service programs in the community are touching those who need each program the most.

If you feel a tug on your heart, consider contacting these programs and finding out where you can personally serve beyond prayer, but start praying that each of these programs is helping exactly who they need to help, and that each has the resources, donations, and volunteers to sustain their program and continue serving in the community.

When a community has individuals praying for it, or even a group of people praying for it, that community can become stronger. When those prayers are put into action and service, it helps even one step further to strengthen the community and make it a better place to live, not just for those praying, but for everyone in the community. And I think we can all agree that a community that has people praying for it and serving it is a community that will be blessed again and again.

The post 5 ways to pray for your community appeared first on FamilyToday.

Someone asked the other day how I afforded being a parent, especially a single one, on my low income. I don't make a ton of money, but I do make enough to get by. I don't have enough to go out and buy a house tomorrow, but I've found that, through careful planning, I can make a dollar stretch and keep our lives stable, steady and consistent.

People asked if I felt like I was doing justice to Zach by only having a small salary on which to care for him. But I do, I do get by. And I have some great tips and tricks for finding ways to pay for the things Zach and I need.

I budget. And re-budget. And check my budget

Not a day goes by that I don't check my online banking. I see how much money is in there, and I budget certain amounts for certain things "¦ some money is set aside to take care of my pet's needs: food, grooming, vet appointments. Some money is set aside to save for Zach's future. Some money is set aside for our family vacation. And, money is set aside for medical bills, food, clothing, personal care and all of the other needs that we have. I stick to a budget, and I budget in some "fun money." You know, for going out for lunch or overdue library book fees.

I make money where I can, to pay for the other things I need

When Zach outgrows something I've bought him, if I don't have anyone to pass it on to, I sell it. Same goes for my own clothes - anything I don't wear or won't fit in is sold. The money I make from it goes into a special place, and when Zach outgrows that last pair of jeans that fit, or I have to have a new pair of shoes because the amount of holes outnumber the amount of threads, we have that money to fall back on. We have that as our emergency clothing budget "¦ and, since we're basically selling what we don't need to get the things we do need, it also helps us have less clutter stored away, and begin simplifying our lives.

I save where I can

Target has this great thing where, every once in a while, they have a deal on diapers that allows you to buy two to three packs of diapers and get a Target gift card. Sometimes, the diapers actually contain coupons to use on your next purchase. I have several Pampers coupons expiring in the next year, and when the deal comes along, I grab enough coupons to get through the sale, buy the diapers I need (I'm stocking size 5 right now, and he's in size 3) and get a gift card for Target.

Those gift cards are great when it's time for the Easter Bunny or Santa to go shopping, or if I'm looking at my budget and thinking "Crap! I didn't budget for this unexpected trip to the doctor, so now I can't afford Zach's puffs that he likes to eat." I can say "Oh. But I have that $5 gift card that I saved from the last diaper sale. I can afford this." And I figure it out.

I accept help

There's a great clothing closet in my hometown. It offers free clothing - NO income requirement necessary. Anyone who needs clothing, or just wants to update their wardrobe with something different, can go to the clothing closet and get something. I try to take in a couple of things for each item I take, just because it helps sustain them and keep them stocked with things to help others. It's nice to know that it's a resource available to me if I need some clothes for Zach or I.

Zach also has some great friends from church and around town that are SO great about handing down clothes from their little boys to my little boy. It's so nice to have their help in getting some clothes for him. And, I rest assured knowing that when Zach outgrows the clothing, it can be passed down to someone else who needs it or passed on to the clothes closet.

I remember that every penny counts

I'm being serious. Absolutely literal about this one "¦ every. penny. counts. Last week I took in a jar of change. I had been saving it for about four years. I didn't really even think about it. The jar just sat on my desk, and anytime I had some spare change, I dumped it into the jar.

Over time, the jar filled up. When it became clear that I was going to be a single parent of a little boy, I made a very important decision. That jar was going to be Zach and I's fun money. No matter how poor we got, no matter what life threw our way, that money could NOT be touched unless it was to do something fun. That means even if I was struggling to pay bills, that money was staying put for something fun for Zach and I.

When I was a little girl, my mom was a single mom, and even though I know now that she had her financial struggles, I never knew it as a child, because she always found a way to make it work, and she always had a little money set aside to make my childhood a little more special (even if it was something little. One time, we bought paint in primary colors, and took squirt guns, and sprayed them over the walls of my room for a fun, exciting paint job. On many occasions, during daycare, we would clean the table with shaving cream - she'd squirt on piles of shaving cream, and we'd spread it out and draw pictures in it or write words).

For me, this jar of change was someday going to be the money that would allow Zach and I to go see Elmo Live, or go stay at a hotel sometime, just for fun. Some people laughed at me for collecting whatever spare change I came across, but to me, that change was important. When the jar finally filled, my brother and I took guesses at how much money might be in it. He guessed that it was probably around $15. I figured he was about right. I took it in, poured that money into the change counter at the bank, and walked away with $41.50. I've since collected more change (from the washing machine, the sidewalk, or old purses in my closet) and I'm almost up to $43. The money will collect until Zach and I decide how exactly we want to use our "fun money." Until then, the change will keep piling up.

I get by on the Grace of God

God has never once let me down. I've had close calls some months where I wasn't sure if I'd have the money, but I haven't overdrawn my account, or had to go hungry, or had anything bad come to Zach or I. He always has everything he needs - food, shelter, clothing, and most importantly, love. God provides. Sometimes I see his provision when it's time for my Citrus Lane money to come out of my account and someone on my blog clicked my referral link, making it something my son and I can afford.

Sometimes I see his provision in that there's a new sale on exactly the thing I was about to run out of. Sometimes I see his provision in the amazing time that my family and I get to spend with each other because I live with them. Sometimes I see his provision in my brother holding my son, while they watch TV at night, and I realize moments like that might not be possible if God had provided more financially, to the point that I didn't have the blessed opportunity to live with my family "¦ and then I recognize that I need to thank Him for providing exactly what I need right now. God takes care of me. He loves me, and He provides for me, and my son.

So when people ask me: are you doing your son justice? Yes. My son has everything he needs. He has toys in every room, enough clothing for various seasons and sizes, all of his favorite snacks, shelves and boxes full of books, and plenty of love. My son gets to see me every day, spend time with me constantly, and know that he has a close relationship with his grandparents and uncle.

When people ask me: how do you even afford being a single mom? I realize that I have learned how to be a single mom, and put my financial worries on God's shoulders, not on my own. I've learned that even if the money is tight, the fact that I get to cuddle up on the couch and watch "Sesame Street" with Zach each morning tells me that I have so much to be thankful for.

Yes, other people may have all the money in the world, and I may be scraping together a few coins. But I have a priceless opportunity to be thankful for the things I am blessed with, and realize that God has never left me wanting. Zach has everything he needs and then some. And so do I.

The post How I afford being a single parent appeared first on FamilyToday.

I have a 7-month-old, and I know it's kind of cheating, but he is SO easy to shop for. The nice thing about young children is you can predict their interests pretty easily. This makes gift giving super cheap (and so much fun!)

I'm a single mom. Money is tight "¦ because I'm disabled, my sole source of income is barely enough to support us. But that doesn't stop me from giving my son amazing gifts for holidays. I just have to find ways around the price tags! (And the best part is, these secrets apply whether your child is 7 months old or 7 years old!)

Here's how I do it:

1. Garage sales are your friend

At this age, my son has no idea if I paid $1 or $15 for that cool xylophone he received. All he knows is, it makes noise, and it's a lot of fun. I check garage sales frequently for age-appropriate toys with no damage. My son has no idea it's secondhand, but even if he did know, I don't think it would stop him from having a blast. Most of what he owns is secondhand. One of his favorite toys is a toy laptop that was given to me by a family whose children had outgrown it. The original price? $31.99. I have a motorized car in the basement that Zach is going to get in about a year and a half. It originally cost over $70. I paid $6 for it. It works perfectly.

Seriously, embrace the secondhand. Consignment sales, garage sales, they get you a lot of cool toys, for a really good price! Even with older kids, if you're able to find toys in like-new condition, the packaging won't matter. Looking for electronics? Shop refurbished items, which are often like new or used previously by individuals who took VERY good care of it. No one will ever know the difference.

2. Scour sales online and in store

I keep an eye out for toy sales as often as I can. Last year, someone clued me in to a super sale on Melissa and Doug wooden toys from Bloomingdales. The original price of the toys were $20 to $30 each "¦ I shelled out a mere $4 to $6 per toy, and searched for a free shipping code from retailmenot.com. I purchased toys for four holidays, for $22. Last year, I found a great deal on Melissa and Doug puzzles, in store this time, at Toys"R"Us. The puzzles typically were in the $15 range, and I spent $5 each on them, plus used a coupon to save even more. Unexpected sales are a great source of savings, especially if you know when and what to look for (and make sure to stay within a set budget!)

3. Seasonal items are total steals!

My son loves books. He loves to read them, chew on them and savor each page. For example, the day after Valentine's Day, I ventured to my local Walmart. They had all Valentine's merchandise marked down including seasonal books. I was able to get some fun books for Zach, half off. I purchased three books (priced $2 to $8 each) and spent $6. These books will stay in the closet and make an appearance next year. Since he's so young, he isn't suddenly going to jump a huge amount of reading levels, obviously, so I can get away with purchasing books and sticking them in a closet until next year.

I also looked for other seasonal toys or outfits - if you can judge what your child's size might be, you can even buy some seasonal clothing early (or buy clothing that looks seasonal, but could be worn even after the holiday.

4. Look for things that grow or have multiple uses

Right now, my son is in a banging phase. He bangs on everything - the floor, the table, anything. Those lidded mixing bowls are not bowls, but instead, they're a drum set. In a year, they'll be storage containers for edible play dough. A year after that, they'll grow into a sensory tub. After that, we'll be able to use those bowls to mix up a cake or some bread. Each year, or even from month-to-month, those bowls will have varying uses that will grow with him over time.

In the Melissa and Doug toys I scored, Zach loves a tambourine that came with it. Again, it's something he can bang on. But that tambourine came as part of a set, and I can guarantee that a year from now, the cymbals or triangle will get a lot of use, even though right now, they just sit in his toy box, untouched. Things that grow with your child are worth an extra look. When you pick an item that can be used in different ways or at different stages, you're picking an item that stretches your dollar over the long run.

Also, consider this idea when buying things like Lego sets. Lego sells some sets that are 3-in-1 for the same price as other sets that only have one way to build. If your child is very into the building and rebuilding, a 3-in-1 set is probably more worth your money than a set that will be built once and put away.

5. Space out your giving

Last month, I got my Citrus Lane box in the mail. When I get the box, I give it a good, careful look. Last month, Zach immediately got to play with the tugboat. It was a "right now" gift. But I held onto the strawberry yogurt snacks. I didn't open them, I didn't really draw attention to them. They went into the closet. Zach "nommed" on the mango snacks, yes, and loved them. So, as part of a Valentine's Day gift, he got the adorable pink Strawberry Yogurt snacks. For now, he's more interested in the unwrapping than what's inside, so he doesn't care that I gave him some yogurt snacks "¦ and even so, he LOVES yogurt snacks, so it wasn't an issue.

Maybe I won't be able to get by with packaging up yogurt snacks in the future, but for now, it works for me, and that's how I give him a cool gift. Right now, he loves the tambourine and maracas from his Melissa and Doug instruments, but when he gets bored with those, I can take those out of his main toy box, and swap his cymbals into the toy box, and he'll have an all-new toy to play with. If you get a subscription box for your child, whether it's Citrus Lane, LootCrate, or another great leader, try opening it separately, giving them something for now, and saving another gift for later. When stores like Target or Toys"R"Us do a "Buy 2, Get 1 Free" deal, consider giving one now, one for the next holiday, and one for the holiday after that!

6. Use free gift cards to stretch your budget

How many times do you see a deal where you can get a gift card at Target for buying a certain number of other items you're buying anyway? While of course, they're roping you into buying multiple items, if you plan on using the toilet paper or diapers or whatever else is in the deal, you may as well stock up, and save that gift card for when it's gift-giving time! I'll often purchase the items, then hold onto that gift card until Christmastime, getting many of my gifts free or very affordably.

Additionally, Walmart now has the SavingsCatcher part of their app where you can get a gift card for the difference between what you paid at Walmart and what you could have paid at another local store instead if Walmart didn't have the lowest price. These gift cards can be looked at as money set aside for helping you pay for a gift later.

7. Set a budget. Stick with it

I know that I only make a certain amount in a year. That's why I plan my spending out. Do I need to buy gifts for holidays? Cool, there's an envelope for that. I have one envelope that, each month, I take money out, and put in there. That's my holiday shopping for the month - be it Christmas, Birthday, Easter, whatever. That's the money I have for it. That's the money I can afford, and I'm not going over that.

Do I need $450 for our annual island vacation? Yes. That's a planned expense. I spend the entire year setting aside $20 here and $50 here, and by the time vacation rolls around, I have enough to pay for vacation. When I get home, I have an empty envelope to start over again. When you plan an expense, when you say "this is how much money I need for this," then you know that you have to save that much money, and you do it. When I set a goal of what I'm spending my money on, what I need to save for, then it helps to work hard to reach that goal.

8. Teach him it's not about the "get."

Growing up, as Christmas would approach, my brother would get increasingly excited. I don't presume that's abnormal - most kids get excited as a holiday approaches. But when we'd inquire about his excitement, the answer was always the same "I can't wait for you to open what I got you!" His joy, his Christmas excitement, didn't come from finding out what we got him "¦ it was seeing our face when we opened the gift he gave us. He is still that way. This year, he purchased a Valentine's Day present for Zach. As soon as we woke up Valentine's morning, he said "I think we should exchange gifts now." "Now? Are you that excited to see what you got?" "No. I want Zach to open my present!" It's just a part of our family - we all are like that.

I am so happy to have grown up in a family that instilled a nature of giving. That's something to pass on to my son and that, I think, will help keep me from breaking the bank the most. It's about teaching him that it's not about the material objects. It's about the family, and the love you share, that gets you through the year.

The post How I give my son cool gifts without breaking the bank appeared first on FamilyToday.

Growing up, my mom made sure that we all spent dinner together at the end of the day, eating around the table. She worked very hard to make the kitchen feel like a safe haven to come home, study, enjoy that meal together and converse. But even with all her effort, it seemed that many times, we'd sit down to the table and she would work very hard to ask us about our day, only to be met with one-word answers and imaginary cricket noises as no one spoke.

Luckily, she had a few surefire ways of beating the imaginary crickets and getting us chatting around the table. With her example, and some new ideas, you'll be able to shake up your dinner time conversation and get people talking around the table, banishing silence in the kitchen for good!

Pick a stick, any stick

Have each member of the family write down two or three conversation topics before dinner time and leave them in a mason jar. After everyone dips their food, pass the jar around the table. Have someone draw a stick out and read the question aloud. Take time to let everyone answer and discuss. Don't stress if you go through the sticks really fast, and don't stress if it takes you weeks to go through them. Let the conversation flow naturally and take however much time is needed. If you get off on a tangent or another conversation, that's totally OK! These are just a way to jumpstart!

Thankful year round

You know how some families have that tradition of going around the table and telling what they're thankful for at Thanksgiving dinner? Well, you don't have to JUST reserve that for fall. Develop a spirit of thanksgiving in your home by asking everyone what they're thankful for that very day. Whether you're thankful for making it to work on time for a change, or you're thankful that your kids didn't kill each other that day, or whether your kids are thankful that they didn't lose their lunch money or are thankful for a few extra minutes of video game time, take time to notice the little things you're thankful for each day.

The family that serves together

Plan a family service project at dinner. Talk about how you can help fill a need you see in your community and take time making an action plan on how and when you'll do the service project. Stay open to ideas from everyone, then find something that suits the whole family. Have more than one good idea? Plan to do more than one act of service in your area!

Ban tech at the table!

It may seem like a no-brainer, but technology at the table is a total conversation killer. Whether the teens are texting, the tots are Netflixing or mom and dad are checking the calendar, by making the dinner table a tech-free zone, you're opening the door to open conversation and allowing open communication at the dinner table.

Get rid of one-words

Do you ever feel frustration when you ask your child "How was your day?" and get "Fine," or ask "What did you learn today?" and hear "Nothing."? Get rid of the one-word answers by asking an open-ended question, such as "Tell me one bad thing and one good thing that happened to you today." This will keep you be more engaged with your child's life, and help you draw a little more than just a one-word answer out of your kids. Make sure you're prepared to answer the question, too, in case one of your kids puts you on the spot!

The post 5 totally doable ideas to get your family talking around the table appeared first on FamilyToday.

It was all over the news. A commercial flight was shot down over a very volatile zone. The thing that is traumatizing and scary about this is that a normal activity - flying on an airplane - is once again linked with tragedy. While of course, there's danger in flying over a zone that's essentially at war, it's a flight path that a lot of planes were taking. This event just happened to be an anomaly, and it isn't the first major tragedy kids have heard about on the news.

Think back to recent months. You'll remember another airline tragedy, also featuring Malaysia Air, where a plane disappeared. At a seemingly normal sleepover, two pre-teens felt compelled to stab their friend multiple times while playing hide-and-seek, then blaming it on the work of Internet folklore. A man drove around a town and shot people because he was tired of being rejected by girls. A guy killed people outside of a Jewish center because of his hatred for the Jewish people (when those he killed were not even Jewish, not that it makes what he did any worse). It's very easy for kids to hear what's going on in the media and begin to feel unsafe on airplanes, in sleepovers, at the movies, at school or even just walking through their hometown. While you want your children to be informed and prepared for dangerous situations - like stranger danger or a school shooting - you also don't want them to feel so anxious and afraid that they can't function.

But there are some ways to explain and handle these tragedies with your children so they can feel better about these horrifying acts.

Limit news media

First and foremost, limit the time you spend watching news media, especially when coverage is first being reported. As tempting as it is to get sucked in and watch these things unfold, media is quick to share the most shocking details to keep you watching. Just yesterday I read very graphic detail about how one passenger on the Malaysia Air flight that was shot down was a "woman, in a black sweater." The article went on to detail how her face was covered in blood, and her left arm was raised over her head. It shared how bodies speckled the ground, a grassy area with purple flowers. It painted a picture in my head that was hard for even me to shake. Suddenly, this wasn't a plane crash that killed a bunch of people. It was a very clear image in my head of a woman, a victim, a dead body wearing a black sweater I could picture, I could imagine the texture of, see the horror on her face as this event unfolded. It made it personal. That's what media wants, but it's not what you want your kids hearing.

The best way to handle it is to just switch it off. If you must watch it unfolding, consider turning the TV off and keeping track of the emerging details on a smartphone where your kids will not hear what you're reading off of the screen, or consider watching coverage in another room or at a later time (DVR the newscast, and view it later).

I'm not saying kids shouldn't know what's going on in the world around them. I'm saying that, when tragedy is unfolding, it's often graphic and scary. I remember watching the news coverage of 9/11 and, as a middle school student, seeing people jump from the buildings. Live. On television. That's not something you want burned into your kids' heads.

Realize they'll hear about the event from others

Despite your best efforts to switch it off, kids will hear about things from others. I can guarantee if your kids are old enough for social media, they'll see it show up on Facebook (especially now with their trending topics section in the sidebar). Even if they aren't, there's bound to be one kid at school, in the neighborhood, at the park, who heard or watched the coverage and will bring it up to other children.

It will likely lead to questions from your child. When a gunman went in and killed children at Sandy Hook Elementary, it was a big discussion - these were young, young children. It's normal for children that age to go and say they heard about other children their age dying. Unfortunately, you cannot shelter your kids from hearing about it. But what you can do is explain it to them honestly, authentically, and in a way they'll understand.

Keep graphic detail to a minimum

When your kids do have questions, answer them. If your child says "Mom, did kids get killed at a school?" or "Did a plane get shot down?" you can say "Yes, it did happen. It's very sad, and I know it can be confusing. Is there anything I can do to help you feel better about it or understand what happened?" From there, you know your child best. But don't go in and give more details than they ask for. If your child asks about if there was a lot of blood or if it was painful, it's at your discretion whether or not that's something you share with them. What you don't want to do is answer their question as "Yes, a plane was hit by a missile because these people were fighting with these people and now 295 innocent people are dead." By giving more detail than they ask for, it can lead to some scarring or emotional questions.

Don't promise safety, but teach awareness

There is a very real chance that your child will want to know "Could this happen to me?" As much as you want to hug them and say "No, I'll never let anything happen to you!" there is a chance it could, much in the same way that I could walk outside tomorrow and get hit by the mail truck. It's a very slim possibility, but it could happen. If your child asks about whether or not it could happen, it's good to give an answer to the tune of "Things like this are very rare. In fact, this is the first time that I've heard about a plane crash that happened the way this one did," or "You can go to school and feel safe; while it's very sad that this person targeted a school with his anger, you don't need to be afraid. While this will likely never happen to you, your teachers and school have a plan in place to keep you safe, just in case it does."

Of course, you'll want to gauge your child's age and general disposition before you share this. If your child is old enough, it's good to reinforce the idea that if they ever see anyone doing something suspicious on an airplane, in an airport or at school, for example, they should let a trusted adult know immediately.

Realize that questions may come later

As kids are being fed information, it can take time to process and ask those tough questions. You may find that you're sitting and playing Legos and suddenly, weeks later, a question comes up about the event. Be honest with your child, but also keep in mind how graphic detail should be kept to a minimum.

Pray for the families affected, and find a tangible way to help

Some kids may want to know how they can help, and may feel a tugging on their heart and mind. I know I heard a lot of stories of children who felt a very personal tug at their hearts with the girl who was recently stabbed by her friends. One way you can help ease this is to pray. Pray for the families who are impacted, any survivors of the event, the surrounding community, etc. And some kids may feel the need or desire to help. Research ways you can help.

After the Malaysia airlines flight went missing earlier in the year, a website called TomNod encouraged people to help pinpoint possible wreckage or rafts; a teen who feels compelled to help may be a good fit for this. When a girl died recently of an illness, a good choice for some was to donate stuffed animals to a local children's hospital in her honor. I know some children who donated allowance money to the scholarship fund created in her name. It was a tangible way to serve and help feel like they were doing something in the situation. Doing something often helps kids to feel less helpless about a situation they can't control.

Overall, transparency is key when talking to kids. Answer questions honestly and age appropriately; don't go into graphic detail, and only answer what they're asking without taking it further than you need to. Give them options on how to help if they feel that need, and help encourage them to use this as an opportunity to pray. Remind them that these incidents are rare and unlikely to happen to them, but also consider using it as a teaching point on awareness and safety where appropriate.

Situations like this are never easy for anyone, but making sure that you use them as a talking point and stay away from sensationalized accounts while kids are present can minimize the fear associated when scary things happen.

The post Handling and explaining global tragedies to your kids appeared first on FamilyToday.

"If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" is a great kids' book, especially when it comes to discussing cause and effect. After all, if you give a mouse a cookie, he'll want some milk to go with it. There are also so many great options for "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" activity topics that you could spend weeks on this book without having overlapping ideas for tying into the book! Here, I list a few of my favorite activities for this classic book.

Sensory activity

When it comes to baking cookies, what's the first thing you think of? Sure, you might think of the delicious taste, or the texture of soft-baked cookies. But I can guarantee that somewhere on the list, you're going to be thinking of the delicious scent that fills the air when cookies are baking.

The perfect "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" activity for sensory development is to make smelling jars. I took six clean, empty baby food jars and used a nail to poke holes in the lid. Then, I dropped two to three cotton balls into each jar. You can finish up with essential oils, but I simply used different cooking extracts that would be reminiscent of cookies. The six jars I made were: vanilla, cinnamon, almond, orange, raspberry and peppermint. I screwed the jars on tightly and labeled each one with the scent, then encouraged Zach to smell. He had a few that he instantly turned up his nose at, but others became scent favorites.

Dramatic play

One of our favorite activities with every new book theme is to create a fun dramatic play center that matches the book. Cookies are clearly a consistent theme in "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" activities planning, and to capture that cookie spirit, we decided to make a delightful bakery dramatic play center. We used an existing play kitchen that we had (but if you don't have a play kitchen, there are some great make-your-own tutorials on Pinterest, or you can set up a nice table with some kitchen gear for a quick solution).

I added some play foods, and made a few items of my own using felt. Our essential bakery items included felt cookies, some felt cupcakes and a pie plate with a removable pie crust where we could put in pom poms in different colors like red for cherries or blue for blueberries.

Zach was equipped with a hot pad, some measuring spoons, an empty small milk jug, an empty creamer bottle, empty berry cartons, some spoons and bowls, and some play money. We used the checkout stand of a shopping set we had previously purchased, but again, a small table would work fine. Mostly, we just looked around the house for items that we already had that would work. A bakery is nice because almost everyone has some kitchen gear like cookie cutters that is quick and easy to use for a play bakery for a week or two.

Science and cooking

For me, one of the biggest things that kids should learn is both science and self-sufficiency in the kitchen. When you're able to use a book that has a cookie theme, it makes for a great combination. Kids who learn how to help in the kitchen at an earlier age feel more comfortable in the kitchen later and are better able to adapt to those real-life situations when they're older.

One of Zach's favorite "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" activities was to be able to make chocolate chip cookies of his very own! I took time to premeasure most of the ingredients (getting his help with some of the easier-to-measure items like white sugar), then had him do the pouring, mixing and shaping of the cookies. It's a great hands-on tactical experience to feel the dough.

Art

One of the activities I grew up on as a kid was making homemade crayons. Making homemade crayons reinforces some fantastic color principals that can really help kids grow. There are a few great ways that this activity ties into "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie," though. First off, with cookies being a central theme in the book, this is a great baking activity that doesn't happen to produce any food - making crayon cookies is a perfect way to practice the principals of baking without actually having any added sweets. Later, the crayons can be used to draw a picture of the child's family - just like the mouse draws in the classic book!

To make crayon cookies, start by peeling any broken crayons that you have. If you don't have any broken crayons, we had a lot of success by posting on a Facebook swap page "ISO broken crayons. If you're looking to throw them out, we'll take them off of your hands!" We ended up getting bags of crayons - more than enough to share with friends.

Sort the crayons by color if you'd like - varying shades of blue together, varying reds, etc., asking your child for help (and allowing them to do the bulk of the sorting, but helping as needed).

Another fun way to do crayons is to do fun color combinations, which works well for advanced students, also - warm colors together (reds, oranges, yellows), cool colors (purple, blue, green), or even colors that make an interesting pattern. Once you've sorted the crayons into a mini muffin pan, you'll bake them at 250 degrees for 10 minutes.

Remove them carefully, then let it cool for 20 minutes on the counter, then place in the refrigerator or freezer to make them easy to remove. I found the easiest removal process was to tap the pan on the counter to loosen the cooled crayon cookies.

Music and finger plays

"Hickory Dickory Dock" ties into "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" perfectly! With a counting rhyme, you can do the activity with a mouse finger puppet, but even without, a song about a mouse running up the clock sounds like the perfect addition to "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie."

This rhyme and finger play is a lot of fun. To start the finger play, wave your hands back and forth the way a pendulum sways back and forth on a grandfather clock. As the mouse runs up the clock, make a motion as though the mouse is running up one arm. As you count off the time, use your fingers to show the time - one finger for one, two fingers for two, etc. Finish by running the mouse down your arm again. Repeat these motions for each verse.

Spanish

This year, Zach's focus language is Spanish, so I'm looking to introduce him to the language as much as possible during the year. I was lucky enough to find the perfect Spanish language tie-in online. On YouTube, there is a Spanish language version of the book that works well for students who have read the English-language one once or twice. Grasping the full understanding of Spanish isn't necessary right now, but hearing the sounds and seeing the reader's lip movements is a helpful way for younger students to get a feel for those sounds.

Additionally, if you're using your own Spanish-language program, lessons on food and eating can be a really good learning lesson at this time.

Fine motor

One great fine motor activity for kids is to give them a pattern for mouse ears - two circles on grey paper, two smaller circles on pink paper (to make the inner ear). Have them cut this out, glue the pink centers onto the grey larger circle and attach to a headband or elastic to make a cute mouse hat.

For more Fine Motor reinforcement, Kumon first steps workbooks like "Let's Cut Paper! Food Fun" and "Let's Sticker and Paste! Food Fun" both tie in well to a baking theme. Their other workbooks, which are animal based, also tie into the fun animals in Laura Joffe Numeroff's books, so you really can't go wrong with their pasting and cutting workbooks.

Field trip

We were very lucky to tap into the cookie theme during the week our town got a brand new bakery! It meant that we got to go and experience fresh-baked cookies and talk to the owner about bakeries a bit more. Of course, you could also visit an animal sanctuary and learn more about mice, or go to a children's art museum to tie into the mouse drawings in the book, but we found that a bakery tied in quite well so we could have fresh cookies and milk.

Related reading

You can't just necessarily stick with "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" activities. Instead, you're also able to expand on what your young reader is learning from this book by reading other books that tie into similar themes and topics. As you can see, we really latched onto the "cookie" part of the book, so we decided to seek out other cookie-related books to read and put in our book basket for the week.

The way we handle our book basket is that we take time to read our central book a few times in a week, but before bed, we pick out books that are related from our book basket to read. Otherwise, the book basket is situated for free reading - even though Zach isn't at reading age yet, a lot of literacy is gained through just sitting down and becoming familiar with books, looking at letter shapes, and learning book sequences through illustrations. Visit my blog for our cookie-related reading picks.

Apps that rock

If your kiddo is anything like Zach, they like having a little tech time. And screen time actually isn't necessarily a bad thing for kids! Kids are going to be exposed to technology, and the ones who are able to adapt easily and early will be the ones most successful when it comes to careers and further education. That said, obviously there are limits, but we've found it fun to tie some apps into the books we read. If "You Give a Mouse a Cookie" activities are great, but they can be balanced with great educational apps that encourage play. Visit my blog for several related apps.

All in all, there are a lot of fun ways that you can enjoy the book "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie." With all kinds of activities, book tie-ins and opportunities presented, you'll have no problem celebrating this great book by Laura Joffe Numeroff.

The post If you give a mouse a cookie: Activities for the classic book appeared first on FamilyToday.

We've all seen those extreme cases on "Hoarders," or at least have the vaguest concept of hoarding- houses packed to the rafters, barely a footpath through. But we aren't really like that, right? Just because there's a bit of unwashed laundry, or a few extra sentimental items lying around, we're not actually hoarding, are we?

Well, according to my mother, who we all joke doesn't have a sentimental bone in her body because she's ruthless when it comes to clearing out clutter, we are. Definite, complete, total hoarders. Semi-neat hoarders, but hoarders nonetheless. So, I'm taking a page from my mother's book (hopefully) and I'm giving you permission to part with those things you swore you couldn't let go of, but maybe, with some careful guidance, you could actually say goodbye to today. And yes, this post is talking to me as much as it is to my readers; after all, I couldn't have come up with 15 items for you to purge if I didn't do a little cleaning up myself.

So grab three boxes and label them Trash, Sell and Donate, and let's get purging. Ready?

1. Your Prom corsage

Seriously. It's been a decade since you went to Prom. I know you carefully preserved it and put it in your memory box, but why are you still holding onto this? It's literally just dead flowers. This one is fit for the trash.

2. That pair of jeans you SWEAR you're going to fit into in six months

Yeah, the one that you'll be back in after this diet. Or that diet after that one. Or the diet four diets from now. Unless they fit you right this minute, donate them. Someone else can use them. In the meantime, buy a pair that fits and makes you feel awesome and when you're that size again, buy a new pair. Styles change anyway, so you'll want something fresh.

3. The brick phone you're holding onto in case you break this one

Trust me. Just part with it. There are plenty of places that recycle old cell phones, and you really don't need the last five cell phones you have. Unless you plan on making bulletproof armor out of your old Nokias, just recycle them and call it good.

4. Those love notes from your ex

But really, I get that you're holding onto these, but if you know it's over and there's no major attachment there anymore, save your absolute favorite one and toss the rest. You don't need them.

5. The knitting needles/rainbow loom/quilting supplies for that craft you were gung-ho about, then dropped.

Sure, you were super into it for a few weeks, and then you realized that hey, you don't have time for this! If you're not keen on donating what you have left, then try selling your crafting gear and remnants online, or swap it with a friend who is over her most recent hobby, too- she can try yours, you can try hers, and you both have something new and fun to try out.

6. Movie ticket stubs from that feature ages ago

Unless you have a super-strong memory attached (like the first movie you saw with your hubby, or a movie you went into labor in the middle of), toss the ticket. You won't miss it. If there is a super-strong memory of it, put it in your album and be done.

7. That shirt you bought at that concert for that band you loved in college

I get it, we all have shirts that have seen better days (and bands we liked before they sucked, you hipster, you!), but seriously "¦ if you're not still into the band and if the shirt doesn't have a super special memory attached (again, something crazy like a first date with the hubs or labor), donate it. Or, if it's in concert-condition, just trash it.

8. The charger cord to your old laptop

You're not using it anymore. I promise you won't need it. Most likely, the newest version of that same laptop uses a different charger, and chargers are like $5 on Amazon anyway. Just recycle it or dispose of it properly.

9. The almost-dried up bottle of last year's nail polish color you had to have

You know the one, that bright pop that you needed before vacation or that moody hue that was perfect for fall, but you're completely over it now (or you used it so much that there's not even enough for a full manicure left) "¦ just toss it already!

10. The book you already read but weren't ready to part with, or worse, the book you were going to read and never got around to.

If you've read it awhile ago and are pretty sure you're not actually going to read it again, donate it or take it up to half price books. If you didn't read it, even though you swore you would because the reviews or Target or Oprah or someone said it was oh-so-amazing, either read it and sell/donate it, or just go ahead and get it off of your shelf without reading it. We've all bought those impulse books that we haven't read. Just gift it to a friend, donate it, and move on.

11. The Emergency Chocolate Bar that's expired

If you're a mom, I know you've got an emergency chocolate bar hidden somewhere. But you know you've had one that you've hidden long enough that it's just not quite good anymore, and you have yet to replace it? Toss the old one, then treat yourself to a really delicious cup of cocoa or a new chocolate bar, and keep it where you'll eat it before it's yuck this time!

12. The extra buttons from that cute jacket ... that you donated two seasons ago

I can't be the only one who still has extra buttons in the back of my jewelry box. Those buttons to that dress you loved intensely and eventually got rid of for one reason or another? Go ahead and get rid of the buttons, too. Or make sock puppets with your kids with them, but somehow, get them out of your jewelry box, already!

13. CDs. All CDs

Unless you have a good excuse (like my car only plays CDs because I drive a 2002), get rid of CDs! If you have a must-have song or album, rip it into your digital format of choice (mp3, duh) and give it to a friend or sell/donate it to a used store.

14. Shoes

How many shoes have you bought because you "just had to have them" and wore once or twice and got bored with? Just ditch the old shoes you're done with- donate them, or sell them online for money for "¦ uh "¦ more shoes, of course!

15. That gift that you just weren't quite into

We've all been there - gotten a gift that was well-intentioned but not that great. Regift it (but not to the original giver "¦ yikes!) or donate it for a good cause. Use caution when selling - if your friend is local and you're trying a local swap site, you may hurt some feelings.

Your turn "¦ let me know what else you found while purging, or what else you'd add to this list, and if I have it on hand, I'll be tossing it, too! Also, were there any items on this list that you were surprised to still be holding onto?

The post 15 things you’re hoarding that you can get rid of right now appeared first on FamilyToday.