Supporting a friend during unemployment can be tricky. Here are a few suggestions to support your friend during a difficult time.

1. Ask

Ask if it's OK to talk about it. Asking gives your friend the option to get it all out or request a night off from the worry. Don't make it the elephant in the room. That just makes everyone uncomfortable. If your friend wants to talk - listen. If he doesn't want to talk, maybe what he needs is a vacation from reality - a little denial.

2. Share a meal

Whether money is tight or not, a nice meal is a welcome treat. When my friend's husband lost his job she said it was nice to be invited to dinner. Invite your friend alone, as a couple or invite the whole family. Invite her to a meal at your house or take her out to a restaurant. When the world is falling apart, it's good to get out with friends who care.

3. Share an activity

Invite your friend's children to participate in activities with your kids. It might be hard for your friend to justify the cost of an outing. When my friend ended up with extra tickets to the rodeo, she invited my kids to go. They had a fun night out with their friends and attended an event that we would not have put out the cash for. I have another friend who invited me to go hiking during an especially difficult time. The combination of fresh air, exercise and good company really helped my outlook.

4. Share a gift

Think of ways you can share a gift without damaging pride. We had to leave our home after 14 years. We moved across the country and we miss our friends desperately. My friend's husband told me the best gift he could give his wife was a week with me. He bought me a ticket and I surprised her with a visit. It was so great to see her and get a short reprieve from the stress in my life. And, while unspoken, I knew the gift was just as much for me as it was for her.

5. Don't assume

Don't make assumptions about the situation. Being unemployed is not the same as being on vacation or being retired. Spending every day together might sound romantic, but given the uncertain future and the financial strain, it can be really hard. A change in togetherness causes strain; expectations change, schedules change and responsibilities change. Be supportive, be compassionate and never assume that things are ideal.

6. Avoid guilt

Don't neglect your friendship because of winner's guilt. We have friends who are wildly successful. In the time that our savings account has depleted, they purchased a fancy new car, a new boat and a vacation home. There is no reason that they can't enjoy their success and maintain a friendship with us. Our situation is hard, but it was not caused by their success and we would never wish anything less for them. On the other hand, don't be offended if your friend creates some distance. Watching others succeed when things seem hopeless can be really painful. 

7. Help with the job search

Evaluate your contact list; friends, associates, extended family and acquaintances. Make a personal call or introduction on your friend's behalf, then follow up. A job opportunity can surface in the most unexpected places. Be creative and don't discount what you can offer. A member of our church congregation offered his home office to spearhead a job search.

8. Be normal

One of the most difficult things to lose is a sense of normal. Make opportunities to participate in activities with your friend that you enjoyed together before the unemployment. I have been fortunate enough to have several friends invite me to lunch. Ladies' lunch is something I really enjoyed when I lived in my normal place in my normal life. Having lunch with my girlfriends reminded me what it was like to be normal. And, even gave me courage to hope that I will have something normal again.

9. Pray

Let your friends know that you are praying for them. One friend who endured extended unemployment told me that she experienced spiritual fatigue. Even though you are not experiencing a friend's trial, you can always share your faith.

Friendships are tested when times are hard and when life situations change dramatically. Look for ways to help, support and show love. You may find that your friendship grows stronger despite the personal difficulties.

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Even if everything else in your life is going right, if things aren't right in your marriage it can feel like the world is falling apart. Here at FamilyShare we have assembled a diverse group of writers and experts to help you strengthen your marriage and make the world right again. Whether you have been married a few years or a few decades, time spent showing love to your spouse and caring for your marriage is time well spent.

What to say

Sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it. Sometimes it is what you say. Take a look at these articles and make the choice to eliminate some things from your conversations for good.

7 things to never say to your husband. J.E. Mathewson gives seven serious tips on things you should never say to your husband.

10 things you should never say to your wife. Dan Florencegives 10 humorous, but helpful, tips on things you should never say to your wife.

Relationship maintenance: Talk is not cheap. Rebecca Irvine focuses on five ways improving verbal communication will improve your relationship.

What to do

Marriage takes work. If you are putting in the effort, make sure you are working smarter and not just harder. Make your efforts count to show your spouse your love every day.

20 ways to be nicer to your husband or wife. Katie Gauger says that the longer you are married, the more effort is required to stay that way. She has compiled a list of 20 things you can do to show love to your spouse and strengthen your marriage.

7 simple ways to grow closer to your spouse. Tiffany Fletcher lists seven ideas to stay close and share love.

25 cute things to do for your spouse. Jessie McKinleyshares 25 simple things you can do anytime to share love with the person you love most. Take a few minutes every day to show your love in simple ways.

Being intimate

Intimacy is important to a healthy marriage. Intimacy is so much more than sex. Take the time to be intimate with your spouse and watch your marriage flourish.

Make time to make love: How to make sex a priority in your marriage. Shelli Proffit Howells shares the health benefits of an active sex-life and gives tips on making sex a priority and keeping it fun.

Falling in love, staying in love. Emily Christensen points out that staying in love is a choice. She gives sound advice on how to keep your love alive.

7 ways to talk about intimacy with your spouse and still be friends. Conversations about sex can be difficult and emotionally charged. Kristin Hodson gives ideas to help ease the tension. If you find it difficult to have a meaningful discussion about intimacy, follow these ideas to start moving in a positive direction.

5 tips on how to keep your sex life rockin' after kids come knockin'. Adding children to your family changes everything - including your sex life. Aaron Anderson gives five tips for helping your physical relationship flourish despite the children.

Life gets busy. We often spend the least time and effort on the relationship that matters the most. Use the information in these articles to help give the time, love and attention to your most important person. Take time every day to talk, act and share in ways that will improve your marriage and improve your whole world.

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Short game versus the long game

"The game of golf can be broken down into two elements: the long game and the short game. In the long game, power and distance are required so that the player's ball can approach the putting green in as few strokes as possible. In the short game, the skills needed are more finesse-related due to the need for accuracy. In order to be a successful golfer, a player must master both aspects of the game,"� according to Chris Joseph, Demand Media.

Just as in golf, motherhood can become frustrating and overwhelming. The trick is to break down the parts into a more manageable size and keep the end goal in mind.

The long game

The long game of motherhood is the big picture. It's about character and values. Mastering the long game takes foresight and planning. Mothers in the long game are deliberate.

1. Draft a family mission statement

Make a list of the most important things you want for your children as they grow up and into adulthood. Include things like education, religion and philanthropy.

2. Teach values early and often

It's easy to think that children are too small to understand abstract concepts that pertain to religion or character. But just as you talked to your baby before he could talk himself, introducing these topics early will give them familiarity. Talking about values with your children often will make values part of their life.

3. Be an example

Set an example in your own life of the values that you want your children to embrace. When my husband made the decision to attend graduate school, a big part of that decision was the example it would set for our children about higher education. I like to use the phrase, "In our family, we go to college,"� or "In our family, we treat others with kindness."� Setting the expectation early that you have family standards that need to be met will encourage acceptance along the way. It's also nice to feel like you are all in this together. You are on the same team.

4. Be realistic

. Your job, as a mother, is to do your best to raise your child to be a well-adjusted member of society; able to support herself and potentially raise a family of her own. When life gets overwhelming, and you wonder if you are doing a good job. Remember the end goal and decide if the things you are doing will get you there.

The short game

The short game of motherhood is the day to day, in the trenches, got the blinders on and go, go, go part of the job. When you find yourself wondering how you will get dinner on the table, every child to a different activity at the same time, and do it all with a smile and a word of kindness, you need to take stock of your priorities.

1. Remember what is important

We live in a culture that requires more of us every day, and the same goes for our kids. Extra activities are fun and important in teaching valuable lessons like being fit, being part of a team, appreciating music and learning to practice and work hard. But you need to ask yourself if all the extra activities are helping your family reach the long-term goals you have outlined in your mission statement.

2. Be patient

It is hard to be patient with a toddler who just spilled paint in the carpet or the preschooler who wets her pants standing in front of the toilet. Every mom loses it sometimes. When you do, take a break. I like to have a mommy time-out, in the bathroom, with the door locked. With older children, take a few minutes to get the whole story before jumping to conclusions. When possible, find the humor in the situation. When her high-school-aged son dyed his hair blue without asking, one mother broke into peals of laughter. When he asked what she was laughing about, the mom replied, "You didn't know that kids with blue hair can't drive my car."�

3. Show love often

It's so easy to get caught up in the tasks of the day that we forget the reason for the tasks in the first place. One mother of several young children made it a point to look her little ones in the eye after she buckled them into their car seats and tell them that she loved them. Making a habit of expressing love during routine parts of the day ensures that love is expressed.

Motherhood, like golf, can be frustrating. But it can also be the most enjoyable and satisfying part of your life. It's easy to forget the long game when you get too caught up in the details of the short game. Take some time to decide what is most important for your children and your family. Keeping the end goal in sight will make the daily challenges more manageable.

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We picked up some tips and tricks along the way that really helped make the trip enjoyable.

1. Join a travel club

Through a travel club like AAA, you are eligible for discounts at many hotels, restaurants and attractions. You will find a wealth of information in the guidebooks that are provided free of charge with your membership. You can read about interesting facts and fun stops as you approach different cities. We discovered the National Cowboy Museum in Oklahoma City. This little jewel of a stop was so enjoyable and unexpected. We planned to spend an hour, but ended up staying most of the day. I'm sure with a smart phone and some ingenuity you could find similar information on your own.

2. Pack smart

Even one suitcase for each family member is too many to haul into the hotel every night when everyone is tired. Pack one bag with all the pajamas and toothbrushes that you can grab on your way to check in. In this way, the kids can get ready for bed without having to unpack the whole car. Depending on the length of your trip, pack several bags with one or two changes of clothing for each person. That way, you are unloading a minimum number of bags at each overnight stop.

3. Pack for fun

Pack a bag with active toys to use at rest stops. Pack a Frisbee, bubbles, sidewalk chalk, a football and jump ropes. It's nice to get out and stretch your legs, but it's even more fun to have something to do. Pack a bag with all the bathing suits and some pool toys. This is a convenient way for you to know right where they are when you get to the hotel in time for a swim.

4. Entertainment bags

Pack a bag of entertaining items appropriate for each child. This will help keep items contained when not in use. They can also use these bags to keep their own snacks and any souvenirs or treasures they acquire on the trip.

5. Buy the pass

You can purchase annual passes to the National Parks in the US and many amusement park chains. If you are planning to hit some of these major destinations, an annual pass might be cheaper than paying the entrance fees at each gate.

6. Plan ahead but be flexible

Have a general idea of where you want to stop, but be flexible, so you don't miss unexpected delights. One night we found a listing in the AAA book for the Schmidt's Museum of Coca-Cola memorabilia. Being Schmidts ourselves, we thought it was worth a look. The next morning we got in the car, typed the address in the GPS and looked up to see the museum right next to the hotel.

7. Pay your kids

Pay your kids to do things in the car. We paid our kids to write in their travel journals every day. They kept a log in the back to track money earned and money spent on souvenirs. We also paid the kids every time they chose water instead of soda pop.

8. Notice your surroundings

On a long road trip, it's easy to bury your nose in a book or glue your eyes to a movie or video game. Those are helpful distractions, but don't miss out on the world outside the car. We pointed out the changes in the terrain to our kids every day. Anytime we passed into a new state or saw wildlife, we turned off the electronics for a little while to look out the window.

9. Get a taste for adventure

Traveling is a great time to get kids to try new things. Make it a point to sample the local fare when you go out to eat. Try to eat at local restaurants when possible. Fast food is convenient, but you can get that at home. Get recommendations from the hotel clerk or local folks. We ate barbecue in Texas, soul food in Memphis, and steak fingers on Route 66. We also made a rule that anyone who ordered chicken nuggets at lunch would need to order something else at dinner.

10. Establish a routine

Kids need something of which to look forward. Make plans to arrive at the hotel in time to swim. Get up and swim in the morning before you set off again. Every morning when we got in the car we cleaned out garbage from the day before, reorganized entertainment items, had a prayer, and shot a video clip about our most recent adventure.

11. Keep a sense of humor

Your adventure will go much better if you keep a sense of humor about mishaps. We drove through the east gates of Yellowstone National Park late at night. We had hotel reservations in West Yellowstone that night. Three hours later and three miles from West Yellowstone we discovered that, due to road construction, the road to West Yellowstone was closed. We had to drive three hours back around the park in the middle of the night to reach the hotel. It wasn't funny at the time, but over the next few days we could laugh about it.

Part of being an educated person is experiencing life outside your own neighborhood. If you have the desire, the money and the time, take the plunge. Take the kids and see the country. You will never regret money or time spent traveling and making memories with your family.

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In The Luck Factor: The Four Essential Principles, Richard Wiseman identifies four criteria that contribute to luck in life.

1. Belief

Lucky people believe that they are lucky. They create, notice and act on chance opportunities. They also have a more relaxed attitude about life.

2. Action

Lucky people make things happen by using their gut feelings and intuition.

3. Expectation

Lucky people expect good fortune. They persevere in attempting to achieve their goals.

4. Transformation

Lucky people transform bad luck into good luck. They recognize their good fortune and have a strong conviction that everything will work out for the best.

I have always thought of luck as the little things: a $20 bill in the gutter, winning a drawing, being the 98th caller on the radio station, things that are nice - but not necessary for life and happiness.

I have always thought of blessings as the big things that you need desperately: a miraculous recovery after an accident or illness, finding your soul mate, finally getting a miracle baby, the things that God would care about - the things that would be worth his time.

My family recently attended a celebration that required white handkerchiefs. I, of course, waited until the last minute to buy them. Who actually uses handkerchiefs anymore? At each store I tried, there seemed to be a run on white handkerchiefs. There were none to be found. I finally made my way to the men's department at Wal-Mart. As I stared at the empty shelves where the white handkerchiefs used to be, a clerk came around the corner with a cart of items to be re-shelved and held up a package of six white handkerchiefs.

I was so relieved that my hunt was over. My husband reminded me of all the big things in our life that we had been praying for: a job after months of unemployment, a home after living with extended family and for our family to feel settled in a new place after moving across the country. He said, "There's your blessing. You just used it up on white handkerchiefs."�

But in the aisle at Wal-Mart, when everything else in my life seemed to be going wrong, the last package of white handkerchiefs was a blessing. In that moment, I felt that amidst my struggles, God took care of a little thing for me.

You can apply the four essential principles of luck to blessings.

1. Belief

People who feel blessed believe that the good things that happen to them come from God. They look for blessings in their lives, both large and small. They write them down and share them with others.

2. Action

People who feel blessed act on feelings. They reach out to others to give comfort or service. They recognize those feelings as the will of God. They accept help when offered and see it as a blessing.

3. Expectation

People who feel blessed, expect blessings. They know that all good things in life come from God. And they know that because of his love, they can expect to receive his blessings.

4. Transformation

People who feel blessed know that they are not exempt from trials. The blessing in a trial is the comfort received and the life lessons learned. People who feel blessed are grateful for the opportunity to learn.

When something both good and unexpected happens in your life, take time to acknowledge it. And take time to give it the proper attribution. If you believe in God - give thanks. If you call it luck - enjoy the moment.

Luck or blessing is all perspective. When the big things in life are not working out the way you want, you can look for the small blessings - the moments of peace, the shiny nickel in the dirt.

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