I'm not a perfect parent.

I make a lot of mistakes.

But I'm trying. I'm really trying to be a good Mom.

The kind of Mom who made you feel cherished, and who was fun when she chased you around the backyard with squirt guns or made you pancakes for dinner. I have so much desire to give you everything. To give you the best of me, but some days I come up short.

Sometimes I lay in bed at night after the house has grown dark and quiet, and replay the day. I scrutinize how I did. How I acted and if I was too strict or showed enough empathy.

Did you feel loved enough today?

I'm trying my hardest to be a good Mom but some days are harder than others. I can't remember what it feels like to sleep a full night without waking to the sound of a sniffle or when your feet hit the floor to use the bathroom. I'm doing my best, but there is no grading scale or performance review so I can't gauge my parenting skills. I don't know what you would put on my report card for but I hope it would have high marks for effort and ninja negotiating skills. My cooking skills would fall in the "needs improvement" category.

Some days I'm not as generous with my time as I want to be and the guilt eats me up at night. I cry sometimes thinking of how fast you're growing and I'm missing it when I spend time working on my computer or picking up toys around the house. I know there are more days ahead for you and less for me. I'm trying to be the Mom you need while you still call me Mommy and run and hug me when I pick you up from school.

Some days I have no choice but to do the dishes, grocery shop and scrub toilets because well, let's be honest ... just because you're potty trained does not mean you have any sort of aim. And on these days I pat myself on the back because the house actually sparkles, but you feel second-fiddle.

Other days ... on special days, I abandon my responsibilities and scrap my plans to go to the gym and we head to the zoo. Those are the best days and they make you bounce up and down like your shoes are spring-loaded, you're so happy.

The days when I'm spontaneous and flexible and I stop worrying about being in control are your happiest. You say things to me like "You're the best Mom in the world," and I believe it. But that can't be every day. I wish it could.

I'm trying my best, I really am. I hope you know that. I hope you see it. I'm trying to juggle it all. I'm trying to be good at everything - for you, for your Dad, taking care of our house and my adult responsibilities - but it's not easy. Sometimes I'm a playful Mom and I have impromptu dance parties and sometimes I'm so tired from waking up three times the night before and tucking you back under the covers so I turn on an episode of Daniel Tiger and zone out.

Will you remember the time I finally broke and yelled at you? Will this stick with you forever? Or will you remember when I ran to you and held you when you fell off your bike?

When we go on trips or take a vacation you talk about it every day, all day for the weeks leading up to it. It's like listening to the same song on repeat for two weeks. Your excitement is contagious and so I take 423 pictures to memorialize the adventures and your goofy smile.

But sometimes all I want is to sit in the backyard and watch you play by yourselves while I sneak a glance at my phone.

I try my best to make sure you're nourished and make our menu around food you like to eat. Although some nights we sit at the table an extra 10 minutes while you gag down broccoli. Making you breakfast, lunch, dinner and 13 snacks a day is a lot of work and I'm no Martha.

I want to be a fun Mom who grabs a cake pop for you when I go through the Starbucks drive-thru, but also teach you to make healthy choices. Sugar versus real food is a constant battle of how much is too much. So when I say no to sweets tomorrow, I know you won't be my biggest fan, but I always have your heart in mind.

I have to make decisions that you won't like and I hope one day you'll understand

Some nights I can't stomach a trip to the store with three kids in the middle of the dinner time rush and dial for pizza to make my own life easier. I have my fingers crossed that this feels more like a special treat than your Mom being too tired to wrangle three kids who are hangry, or too lazy to cook. And then, when we've made it through another day, I tuck you into bed at 7:30 because I know how important sleep is for your growing bodies.

I also know you'll be about as fun as getting a root canal if you don't get enough of it. And I'm also exhausted if you couldn't tell from the way my hair has fallen half way out of my ponytail or my mascara has rubbed off under my eyes making me look like a raccoon.

Buddy, I'm sorry I can't do the bedtime dance every night and some nights I know I rush through brushing your teeth and quickly saying goodnight so that I can run back downstairs to remember what it feels like to sit down and not be touched anymore. I can't cuddle with you for 45 more minutes or read two more stories every night.

Not every night, OK?

I can't refill your water because it smells funny.

I checked and it doesn't.

I can't stop on the stairs when I'm running full sprint down them, to turn around and listen to the something you "forgot to tell me" again.

I know we won't find your missing stuffed elephant that the dog ate three months ago and besides, you already have 23 other stuffed animals to keep you company.

I just can't do the bedtime dance every.single.night.

But then I feel guilty and when I do go back upstairs to cuddle you, you're already asleep and I feel like a total jerk. You'll never know how I lay down next to you and silently said I was sorry I didn't come sooner.

One day you'll stop asking me for one more of anything at bedtime and I'll spend the night staring at my ceiling and wiping away the hot tears and wallowing in regret.

I'm trying to be loving and not lose my cool, but bedtime is the last hurdle before I can soak in the tub or eat the Halloween candy I told you was all gone. At the end of the day, I'm touched out and tired from referring spats over who had one more raisin than the other or hearing that your sister called you "meanie."

I don't want you to drift off to sleep with the last thought of your Mom losing it when you ask her to tuck you back in for the 12th time. I want to put you to bed, kiss you goodnight and whisper in your ear how much I love you, all while keeping my sanity in check. I admit, I have a hard time finding a balance between giving you all my attention, all the time and trying to save some of myself, for me. And there is the fact that I'm still trying to make peace with my shortcomings.

I'm trying my best to be a good Mom because I cherish you and every moment I spend with you is one moment I'll never have again.

I have never felt a love so deep, and so crushingly powerful like the way my heart beats in synch with yours.

I don't know how you'll remember me when you're older or have children of your own, but I hope you look back and know I tried every day to be good enough for you. Even when the days were hard. Even when the smile has left my eyes. Even when I am tired or had to work. But especially when we giggled uncontrollably at the dinner table. And when I told you I loved you, and you told me you loved me more.

Please remember that I tried my best.

I wasn't a perfect parent, but I tried hard to be your good Mom.

Editor's note: This article was originally published on The Pragmatic Parent. It has been republished here with permission.

The post How will my children remember me? appeared first on FamilyToday.

To my three sweet, strong, kind, sensitive and brave children, here are nine things I hope to teach and instill in you, as each day and passing year, I see you become more independent in this big world.

In this life, I hope you are happy, will follow your heart, find and pursue your passions, are kind to yourself and to others, are confident and always feel and know how incredibly loved you are.

You deserve love

You are deserving of love. Not the half-hearted, settling for something less than incredible, kind of love. You deserve to have butterflies-in-your-stomach, sure-in-your-gut, kind of love. Be with someone who you can trust, communicate with honestly even about difficult topics, laugh with, spend time with, travel with, and the first person you want to call to share good a bad news with.

You are deserving of love and anyone who doesn't love you wholeheartedly, passionately, and doesn't respect you, is not deserving of your love. Don't share your love with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you, as you do them. Don't share your love with someone who doesn't treat you well or respect you, because you are worth it.

Embrace challenges and failures

Challenges are a way for us to learn, to persevere and to embrace failure. Life will be full of challenges and it is how you choose to handle those ups and downs that will help you grow. Challenges are not fun, they involve hard work, make us uncomfortable, and oftentimes there is a learning curve where you'll have to tackle something new in order to overcome the challenge.

Trust me, challenges will give us the tenacity to persevere and help you along in life. Challenges will push you but in the end, the long-term gains you'll receive will be well worth it. They will give you confidence and strength and help you in your friendships, in your marriage, with your jobs and if you choose to be a parent.

Mistakes are opportunities for learning and growth

In your lifetime, you will make hundreds of mistakes. Maybe thousands of mistakes, because you are human and no human is perfect. In fact, the best way for you to learn, to grow and to change, is to find the lesson in your mistakes. What can you learn, how can you do better, or what can you change so you don't make this mistake again? Patterns will repeat themselves unless you commit to change. It's OK to make mistakes, we all do it, but what will you take away from your mistakes?

Be kind to others

Aim to always be kind to others, whether that's a simple smile as you pass them in the hallways or complimenting them on a smart idea or great new haircut. The kindness you share with others could be the brightest part of their entire day.

If you are ever in the situation where others are purposefully being mean or saying hurtful things, be the one person that stands up for them and chooses kindness over causing pain.

Do not surround yourself with people who are unkind, mean, manipulative or hurtful to others. If you want to be the best version of yourself, these people are not who will help lift you up.

Be grateful for who and what you have in your life

Be grateful for the things you have in your life now - your family, friends, health, a job, a place to sleep and food to eat. Know that these are the things that are actually important and you're so fortunate to have them. Be grateful for the simple, basic things in life and appreciate anything else you have beyond this.

Don't be in competition with your friends about who drives the best car, has the highest paying job or does things that you wish you could.

Help others

If you are ever in the position of physically, emotionally or financially helping out someone else who is in a less fortunate or dire situation - whether it's a friend at school who forgot their lunch and you share yours, your sister who needs your help standing up to someone who is bullying her, or your neighbor who can no longer mow their lawn so you mow it for him - help them.

Don't help people for the recognition it may bring you, help others because it's the right thing to do and for the personal satisfaction you'll receive knowing you did the right thing.

Stand up for yourself

No one will stand up for you like you can. No one can push you like you can. No one can make you happy, sad, upset, confident, angry, doubt yourself, encourage yourself or bring you down ... like you will.

Believe in yourself, in your abilities, in the hard work that you do and the learning and dedication that you commit to. If you try your hardest, give it your best effort, and commit to whatever it is you're doing - whether a test, sports, a job or project - you can succeed.

You are absolutely good enough, smart enough, strong enough.

When others try to knock you down, hurt you, are jealous of you or choose to make fun of you - stand up for yourself. Use your voice and stand up for yourself but also know that only people that are small-minded, weak and insecure will do these things to another person. That is not who you are.

It's OK to ask for help

Asking for help doesn't make you weak, it doesn't make you dumb, it doesn't make you anything but human. It's always OK to put your pride aside and ask for help. In fact, it's commendable to do so.

Whether you don't understand something in school, can't seem to grasp a new concept, need more direction at work, are overwhelmed as a Mom and need an extra hand with the kids, it's ok to ask for help.

You may have moments of weakness in your life that you need help or intervention from others whether medically, emotionally, financially or other. Please ask for help. Don't be afraid to reach out. Your family and friends will always, always be there to support and help you. I will be there to help you.

Follow your passions

Consume books, learn how to play the guitar, paint and throw clay on a pottery wheel. Follow your passions. Find things that you love to do and do them and do them with all of your heart.

Are you fascinated by the ocean, boats, writing code, painting, poetry? Whatever captivates your heart, don't ignore what you're drawn to.

Find a way to make your life's work about what you're most interested in. Don't spend your life behind a desk and computer if you love the outdoors. Don't spend your life living in a cold climate if you love the ocean. Don't work on Wallstreet for the paycheck if your heart belongs on a dude ranch in Montana.

Live your life by following your heart and trusting your gut even if there are roadblocks in the way. If you're following your calling and doing what you love, what excites you ... you'll find a way around those roadblocks and will be happier and more satisfied in your life. This is all your parents will ever want for you.

Editor's note: This article was originally published on Living and Life Designed. It has been republished here with permission.

The post 9 things I want my children to know about life appeared first on FamilyToday.