Kelsey Robertson – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com Here today, better tomorrow. Mon, 09 Jan 2017 06:30:04 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.3 https://wp-media.familytoday.com/2020/03/favicon.ico Kelsey Robertson – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com 32 32 How to tell if you married your best friend https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/how-to-tell-if-you-married-your-best-friend/ Mon, 09 Jan 2017 06:30:04 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/how-to-tell-if-you-married-your-best-friend/ #Relationshipgoals

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Research shows how couples who are also best friends have the highest levels of marital satisfaction. While that is great and all, how can you tell - I mean really tell - if you married your best friend? Here are the most important things that distinguish a friend from a best friend. If you and your husband have them all, then congratulations, you get to spend the rest of your life married to your best friend.

He is the first one you want to share any news with, good or bad

When something good happens or tragedy strikes, you take out your phone and call the first person that comes to mind. If the person you most want to call with that news is your husband, then it's pretty clear he's your number one. And if you are the one he wants to share all of his news with, then you two are well on your way to being best friends.

Your relationship is a healthy balance of work and play

BFF's do everything together so along with your daily responsibilities, you have to be good at fitting in some fun. If you and your spouse have perfected this balance of fun and mundane, you guys are pretty much on best friend status.

You have seen them at their best and worst and you still choose to love

You know everything about each other. You've heard all of his stories. You know what he's like when he gets upset and you love to comfort him and talk him back down. You love his crazy side. No matter what the circumstance, you two can handle it because you are in it together.

You want to do everything together, even if everything is nothing

You love a girl's night out, but you would love it so much more if he was there with you. It just doesn't matter what you are doing; things are just better when he is there. Even lounging on the couch, eating pizza and staring into space is fun when you are with your bestie.

You make each other happy

There may be an occasional fight or two, but overall, you bring out the best in each other. Being with him makes you happy. While it's a bit tricky to judge, a general feeling of peace, comfort, positivity and the perspective that you will be alright -no matter what-usually accompanies true joy. Your best friend should definitely bring that out in you.

You don't need words

Words are overrated with the two of you. A look or a touch says much more than words ever could, so that is the way you communicate. You can look at each other from across the room and instantly know what the other is thinking. You have private looks, private jokes and maybe even your own language, but however you choose to do it, communication it is not a problem. That is not to say you don't argue, because best friends never agree on everything, but an argument is just an argument and you both know that in no way affects the love you have for each other.

Love and friendship are both magical things, but it is rare to find both in one person. If your spouse is also your best friend, then you are one lucky person. Make sure they know how much you love them and never take each other for granted because you have found what some people spend a lifetime searching for.

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17 reasons why lizards are basically just tiny creeps https://www.familytoday.com/family/17-reasons-why-lizards-are-basically-just-tiny-creeps/ Thu, 29 Dec 2016 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/17-reasons-why-lizards-are-basically-just-tiny-creeps/ Yeah, we went there.

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Lizards are funny, weird, cool, gross, interesting and creepy all at the same time. The overarching feeling for me when I see a lizard is creepiness and I have rounded up a few photos that prove I'm right; or maybe you disagree. You be the judge.

1. The have huge eyes

@laurens_exotics_'s Rocket is one fierce little dragon.

A photo posted by Lizards & Lizards (@lizards_and_lizards) on

All they do is stare with their giant eyes. And is it just me or do lizards never blink?

2. They hide under and behind everything and anything

You never know where they are until they jump out at you!

3. Camouflage

They could literally be anywhere.

4. They shed their tails

#lizard #lizardtail #도마뱀 #도마뱀꼬리

A video posted by Chan Lee (@chanlee19555) on

Their nasty little tails stay behind and wriggle and squirm while they run off into the sunset.

5. They are scaly

Look at this cute crested gecko! #cute #crestedgecko #lizard

A photo posted by Reptawin (@reptawin) on

Those scales give me the heeby jeebys, but he's kind of cute though.

6. Basically humans

It's true!

A photo posted by Lizards & Lizards (@lizards_and_lizards) on

They are trying to morph into people.

7. They are sneaky

Those chameleons blend in everywhere!

8. Good at climbing

PR's ? 's #lizard#cammo#trees#chill

A photo posted by josue gerardo (@geral220) on

They can climb up the side of your house, into your room and up your bed post. These guys are a little too good at climbing if you ask me!

9. Fast runners

These little guys will torture you and then skedaddle quicker than you can blink.

10. There are about 5,000 species of lizards

You never know what you are gonna get.

11. Most of them are anti-social

Little Dude says, "Talk to the hand" By @ca.wanderlust

A photo posted by Lizards & Lizards (@lizards_and_lizards) on

They don't live in families and they don't make friends. That does not sound like the type of creature I want hanging around.

12. They are carnivores

Rory feeding his friends this morning ? #lizard #ipswichqld #summer #waterdragon

A photo posted by Courtney (@courtals) on

I don't think they eat little humans though...

13. Chameleons' tongues are longer than their bodies

Gross!

14. Chameleons eyes can look in two different directions at once

This is distraction technique.

15. They smell with their tongue

It's snack time over at @reptileretreats

A photo posted by Lizards & Lizards (@lizards_and_lizards) on

You ever wonder why lizards run around flicking their tongue in and out of their mouths every two seconds? That is how they smell, but it ends up looking plain creepy!

16. They live everywhere in the world except Antarctica

Peek-a-boo #lizard #lizardsofinstagram #peeking #lizardpose #colombo #flowerhedge

A photo posted by Naomi Marshall (@naomi_bada) on

They are probably peeking through your fence right now!

17. They never stop growing

@maxthecrocmonitor is a big sweety

A photo posted by Lizards & Lizards (@lizards_and_lizards) on

If they were humans, this could be really dangerous!

What do you think; creepy or cool?

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Is your husband giving you the silent treatment? 3 things you should do and 2 things should never do https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/is-your-husband-giving-you-the-silent-treatment-3-things-you-should-do-and-2-things-should-never-do/ Thu, 22 Dec 2016 11:39:04 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/is-your-husband-giving-you-the-silent-treatment-3-things-you-should-do-and-2-things-should-never-do/ Don't let it kill your marriage.

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We master the art of fighting as children. We throw tantrums, yell, scream and eventually resort to sitting in the corner pouting. While there, we don't say a word to anyone. In that moment as little children, we learn the power of the silent treatment.

Sometimes this tendency becomes so ingrained in us that we carry it into adulthood. It can be a powerful player in any relationship, but between a husband and wife, the silent treatment can be silent assassin. When you find yourself on the receiving end of the silent treatment, it can be miserable. But in the end, it's just a power play. If you are in this situation, choose not to give in and remember these things to help you, help him.

Start by

Taking a minute to cool off

Gather your thoughts and look at his behavior in a broad perspective, but make sure he knows you are just cooling off and not giving the silent treatment back. He may be choosing to be silent, but that doesn't mean he isn't aware of your behavior. So, before you leave the room, let him know the conversation is not over and you want to talk about it all once you have cleared your head.

Looking inward

It is tempting to spend your minute wishing he would open his mouth and talk to you, but those thoughts get you nowhere. There are some things you can't control or change and your spouse is one of them. He has his agency, thoughts and desires just as you do and no matter what you say to him, it probably won't make a difference during these particular moments. It is important to examine yourself, your motives, your actions and your words before you determine what you can do to improve the situation. Focus on what you can control, which ultimately is yourself.

Carrying on as usual

If he refuses to snap out of it, then leave him be. The purpose of the silent treatment is to garner attention, so don't give it to him. Continue to let him know you are ready to talk when he is, but don't change your schedule or exert any special effort to cater to him. Pick the kids up from basketball practice and eat dinner as usual. Without the attention or power he wanted to get from his silent act, he will likely come out of it quickly.

Never

Give him the silent treatment back

When one party resorts to childish antics, it is way too tempting to resort to similar antics yourself, but two children pouting in their separate corners will never get anywhere. Someone has to be the bigger person to keep life going and that person is going to have to be you, no matter how much you resent it. Don't sink to his level. Let him know the communication lines are still open, otherwise your marriage could sink into silence forever.

Attack him

Remember, you are looking inward to see what you can do to repair the relationship, so don't attack and blame him for every problem. Without someone arguing back, it's way too easy to put all the blame on the silent party, but this will only force him deeper into his silent resentment. If you want to draw him out, talk about yourself. Use the word "I" and not the word "you." Instead of saying, "You always do this!" Say something like, "I would really like to understand how we always end up in this type of situation."

Prolonged silent treatment is one slow but sure way to end a marriage if it's left unchecked. It is too easy to lose your love in that silent abyss, and no one wants that to happen. If he has a habit of resorting to the silent treatment, then one of the best things to do is address it at a time of happiness. Talk about more productive ways for the two of you to communicate and make a plan for the next time an argument arises. In the meantime, remember these things and do your best to keep the line of communication between the two of you open and thriving.

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How to deal with the loss of a child https://www.familytoday.com/family/how-to-deal-with-the-loss-of-a-child/ Thu, 22 Dec 2016 11:38:25 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/how-to-deal-with-the-loss-of-a-child/ It's impossible to forget, but it is possible to hope.

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I have never had to deal with the loss of a child, but I have dealt with loss in other capacities very close to home. I have friends and family who I've watched struggle day in and day out, for years upon endless years with the torture of losing a child, a parent or a sibling. I feel extremely unqualified to even attempt to discuss such a grief-ridden topic...but it breaks my heart to see their hearts break anew with each day that brings reminder of the ones they have lost.

Through their struggles and my own losses, I want to lend some words of comfort and perspective.

They have taught me that there is hope. They have taught me that the cure never comes in giving up. They have taught me that love, faith and family truly transcend all. Because they have shown me by example that it is possible to rise above this level of grief:

Remember love never dies

Even though the child you loved so much is gone, the love you have for him will never end. It will live on everyday and in every memory. You will love him forever and that is something to rejoice in. Choose to remember and revel in the joy those memories bring. That being said, the memories will not always be joyful. They will come with pain, especially at first, but don't shut them out. Embrace the pain and use it to increase the love.

Acknowledge your emotions

Do not pretend everything is alright. Do not pretend nothing happened. Do not pretend that child never existed. Hold the place that child occupied in your life open. Hold it open and fill it with the love they gave. Don't run from grief. Cry, feel and push through. Feeling all the emotions is the only way to ever be whole again, but don't let them rule your life. I know that is easier said than done, but only you know what you are capable of and even you can't know it until you find yourself strong enough to live through the worst pain imaginable.

Accept that it will get easier but it will never be easy

This is a trap I have fallen into on one too many occasions. I assumed there was a period of grief, then anger, then depression and then it was time to get over it and move on. I assumed it would be OK at some point, but it never is. It will never feel good to have lost a child. The thought of where in life they would be now will always bring pain. There will never be a point where you are completely over it and can move on with life, but it will get easier.

Don't search for the reasons why

"Why" is the ultimate unanswerable question. It is the only question in the world you want answered and the only question no one can answer for you. This question will torment you if you let it, which is why you must not let it. This is the time to turn to the higher power you believe in. He is the only one who can bring you peace, so whatever you choose to believe, just believe in something and trust that He knows why.

No matter what you read or what people say, nothing will ever make it better. The only way to heal is with time and Angela Miller knows this first hand. She is a grief advocate and a writer who lost her own son way too early in life. She said it best on her blog:

"Because I've clawed my way from the depth of unimaginable pain, suffering and sorrow, again and again - when the joy comes, however and whenever it does - it is a joy that reverberates through every pore of my skin and every bone in my body. I feel all of it, deeply: the love, the grief, the joy, the pain. I embrace and thank every morsel of it. My life now is more rich and vibrant and full, not despite my loss, but because of it."

There is still hope, no matter how much grief is in your life. Do not lose site of that.

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How to find yourself in your marriage https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/how-to-find-yourself-in-your-marriage/ Thu, 22 Dec 2016 11:20:23 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/how-to-find-yourself-in-your-marriage/ Find yourself and you will find joy.

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You spend what feels like your whole life searching for the one to spend the rest of it with. You wake up everyday with the intent to find him, you get dressed and put your makeup on with him in mind and you go about your day always keeping an eye out for him.

Then, you find him and you slip easily into his world without a second thought...but sometimes, the price of entering his world is losing yourself. You are so intent on being his everything that nothing else matters until, one day, you wake up and realize you no longer know your purpose. You no longer know your motivation to get up in the morning - there is no reason to get dressed and your day is empty unless it's full of him. He becomes your entire world and for something so easy and seemingly full of joy, it can be detrimental.

How do you find yourself again?

There is no step by step process, but there are some things that must happen.

Recognize you are lost

This is possibly the hardest part. We strive for so long to be one with our partner; one mind, one voice and acting as one, but oneness is not always best. You can't agree on everything, so to be one in all things someone has to give in. Giving in is fine in some situations (and actually recommended), but in the important things, it is not.

Daily self check-ins

The path to finding yourself must begin with an inventory. And to stay on the path, that inventory must be taken daily. Ask yourself every day what you need to do today to take care of yourself that day and then do it!

Do things you love with people you love

A big part of losing yourself stems from giving up your favorite activities and friends when you get married. It is an easy trap to fall into. You are so in love with each other that other people and activities feel like excess, but they aren't. Do things you love with your husband, but also include outside friends and family. This will complete your relationship circle.

Learn to be an individual

People who feel lost in their marriage usually feel they aren't complete without their spouse, but you can exist as a single entity; remember that. Take time for yourself, remember what it feels like to be independent and then bring those qualities back into your marriage.

Stop being so nice

The temptation to compromise on everything he wants is hard to resist. You convince yourself you don't really care and to stay unified you push your opinions deep inside, but don't do everything for him. Don't give up things you love and believe in just because you think you are being nice.

Stop trying so hard

On the path to rediscovering yourself, it's easy to become completely self-centered. A counter-intuitive method to rediscovering yourself is to forget yourself. Focus on making the world a better place and in the process you will feel more fulfilled than ever before.

Know when to bend and when to stand firm

Some things are worth the sacrifice, but others aren't. Evaluate what things are worth the fight and let him know your boundaries. Your husband should know you will stand firm when supporting your moral beliefs and values. It is good to have opinions and voicing them is one of the quickest ways back to finding yourself.

Marriage is all about compromise and becoming a team ready to face any challenge, but it is also about pushing each other to be better. When you and your spouse encourage one another and support each other in your personal and team endeavors, you won't have to worry about losing yourself. You will both become better, stronger and more unified than ever before because you know who you are as an individual. Find yourself and you will find joy.

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5 common mistakes to stay away from when you apologize https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/5-common-mistakes-to-stay-away-from-when-you-apologize/ Thu, 22 Dec 2016 11:14:59 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/5-common-mistakes-to-stay-away-from-when-you-apologize/ It's all in the delivery.

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Two little words make all the difference in this world. Those same two words can excuse both the smallest and largest mistakes. They can turn a night around. They can turn friends into best friends and the lack thereof can turn acquaintances into enemies. "I'm sorry" has a lot of power, but using the phrase is not always as easy as it should be. There are different levels of apology and different depths of sincerity. We all know we should just say those two words and actually mean them, but it rarely goes down like that. Avoid these five common mistakes when apologizing to make your life better and your apologies more meaningful.

1. Don't make it a question

If you feel the need to say sorry then just say it. Don't say things like, "Would it help if I apologized for that?" That statement makes it abundantly clear you don't feel any remorse for the thing you just apologized for. Admit to yourself you made a mistake, and then admit to whoever else that you made a mistake. Apologize flat out, no questions asked.

2. No "buts"

Adding a but after an apology completely nullifies the apology. Don't apologize and, in the same breath, try to excuse the behavior you needed to apologize for. Even if you feel like your behavior was justified, trying to shift part of the blame onto the offended party will only offend further. If you really feel you have no need to apologize, then don't. Instead, try to talk about it and figure out where the offense lies. Don't apologize just to apologize and when you finally do, don't try to pass the blame.

3. Don't apologize until you actually mean it

Don't say sorry just to appease an angry relative or friend. That will make you hostile, and they will be able to tell you don't really mean it. Instead, take a minute to examine your part in the disagreement. Find the fault with yourself (from the other person's point of view), and then apologize for making them feel bad.

4. Don't apologize repeatedly for the same thing

Apologize once and then don't do that thing again. Once you sincerely apologize for the same thing three times, all future apologies automatically become insincere. Even if the apology is, once again, sincere the person on the receiving end will have a hard time believing you actually want to change. A big part of apologizing is following it up with a change in behavior, so don't make a habit of continually needing to apologize for the same things.

5. Don't make it about you

It is hard to swallow your pride and apologize when you feel like they don't know the full story. But likely, they don't care about the full story; they only care about a sincere apology. Instead of blaming your offense on the fact that you had terrible week or something bad that happened to you, take responsibility for the offense, appease your loved one by apologizing and then bring up the fact that you had a hard week and ask to talk about it. They will be much more open and accepting to talk about you and fulfill some of your needs after a simple "I'm sorry."

Hopefully you aren't guilty of any of these offenses, but if you are, now is your time to apologize and move on. Remember, don't make it about you, don't make the same mistake twice, mean what you say, don't follow it up with "but" and don't question the apology.

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10 reasons to never give up on love https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/10-reasons-to-never-give-up-on-love/ Thu, 22 Dec 2016 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/10-reasons-to-never-give-up-on-love/ Even on the hard days, don't give up.

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Take it from a single woman; love is hard. You put yourself out there day after day, person after person and all you want is the perfect fairytale romance you see in the movies. It can't be that difficult to find, right?

It actually can be and the urge to give up on all love and lead a loveless life is all too easy. But don't give in. Without love, the world just doesn't feel right. If you still need a little more encouragement, take a look at these 10 reasons why it's essential to maintain hope and stay open to love- no matter what.

1. There is someone reaching out to you right now

In the quest for perfect romantic love, it is easy to overlook the love of friends, family and those around us. When you are tempted to throw in the towel, take a second to reflect on all the love in your life; it should only take a minute to realize you have it in abundance.

2. Love is greater than fear

The fear of putting ourselves out there and being hurt or rejected is sometimes overpowering, but love is the greatest emotion of all time. Fear may feel like the better option (rather than choosing to love and maybe get hurt) but that is just a façade. Don't give up dreams.

3. We were made to love

No matter what else you believe, you must believe that humans were created to love. We search for love, we long for it and we do our best to give it to those around us. As much as you may want, you can't give up on something that is innate to who you are.

4. You must love yourself

If you truly love yourself, you will love love. You may think life will be easier and more fun when you find the man of your dreams, but before you can fully love another, you must be comfortable with yourself. You must adore yourself, you must know your own worth and you must love yourself.

5. Love is greater than romance

Don't get hung up on the lack of flowers and chocolates in your life. Love should be appreciated for its depth of caring and timelessness, not for the romantic gestures that make you feel momentarily special.

6. Only love can heal a broken heart

The answer to a broken heart is not to swear off all love...because only love can make you whole again. That love will more than likely come from those closest to you, not a random knight in shining armor. Find and appreciate the love you have in your life to heal your heart.

7. Your true love is out there

I know it doesn't feel like it, but he is out there. He is going through the same process as you. He is putting himself out there, getting hurt and struggling to pick himself back up again. When you both learn to love yourselves and commit to loving someone else just as unconditionally, then you will find each other. But until then, remember...

8. Love has its own timetable

Try as you might, you will never be able to control love. It will come when you least expect it and sometimes leaves when you feel you need it most. But rest assured; love will always be there in the end to lift you up, even if it's not in the form you hoped for.

9. All good things in life require work

Love, just like everything else in life, requires work. It is hard work to put yourself out there time after time, but without the work there will be no reward.

10. Love will never give up on you

You can shun love and push it away as much as you want, but no matter where life takes you, love will always be there. It will be there when you don't want it, when you don't expect it and it will be there to lift you up when you feel you can't take one more step.

All is not fair in love and war, but I promise you, if you choose to maintain hope in love, you will be happy.

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6 ways to find out your baby’s gender without a doctor https://www.familytoday.com/family/6-ways-to-find-out-your-babys-gender-without-a-doctor/ Thu, 22 Dec 2016 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/6-ways-to-find-out-your-babys-gender-without-a-doctor/ Which ones have you tried?

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If you're pregnant and you want to know the sex of your unborn baby, an ultrasound at 18-20 weeks along can usually give you the information you crave, but five months is a long time to wait for some. Fortunately, for the impatient souls among us, there are some ways to predict (with about 50 percent accuracy) the sex of your baby.

There are too many old wives tales out there to include all of them, but here are six methods with the highest success rates:

1. The wedding ring test

WEDDING RING GENDER PREDICTION TEST!

WATCH: https://youtu.be/XU9TiEU4-vE

Posted by Shayleeandbaby on Thursday, July 30, 2015

Hang your wedding ring on the string and dangle it over your pregnant belly. Then watch how it swings. If it swings from side-to-side like a pendulum, then you are most likely carrying a baby boy. If it swings in a circular motion then you are probably expecting a baby girl.

2. Morning sickness

If you are extremely ill during the first few months of your pregnancy, chances are you are having a little girl. Expectant mothers will have morning sickness while pregnant with boys too, of course, but extreme sickness early on is an indicator that it is time for you to stock up on the pink clothes.

3. How are you carrying the baby

This also depends on body shape and size and also the size and activity of the baby, but apparently if you are carrying high, it is a girl and if low, it is a boy.

4. Food cravings

Guilty!!! ?+?= ?? (?) " "¢ "¢ #babybump #pregnancycravings #pregnancy #pregnant #preggo #3daystogo #39weeks #lovemybump #blessed #godisgood #foodie #guilty

A photo posted by ✨ᗩм⍲и∂⍲ R⍲y ᘓ⍲p⍲ɩ꒯i (Fιтz)✨ (@amandacapaldi) on

Again, cravings will be cravings and they are unpredictable, but as a general rule of thumb, if you are craving sweets, then a girl is on her way. Salty cravings indicate a little boy is growing inside you.

5. Heart rate

This old wives tale says that the baby's heart rate can indicate the sex of the baby. A heart rate over 140 beats per minute (BPM) is predicted to be a girl while a baby with a heart rate slower than 140 BPM, will most likely be a boy.

6. Breakouts

Unfortunately, breaking out is not only for high schoolers and pregnancy can bring some breakouts along with its glow. But it's not all bad; those pesky breakouts mean a girl could be making her way into your future.

These tests may just be variations of old wives tales passed down for centuries, or they may be a glance into your future. Whatever they are, plenty of moms-to-be claim success in predicting their baby's sex with all six of these methods. If you want to be 100 percent positive, then you have to wait until your bundle of joy is born. In the meantime, you can distract yourself with these methods and who knows, maybe they will predict your future.

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17 signs you married a real gentleman https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/17-signs-you-married-a-real-gentleman/ Wed, 21 Dec 2016 06:30:03 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/17-signs-you-married-a-real-gentleman/ And you are the luckiest woman on the planet!

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In the quest for true love, we most often fail. We fail because we all tend to fall for the bad boys or the cool guys, when all we really want is to find a gentleman to love us and treat us right. If you married a true gentleman, then he probably possesses most, if not all, of the following qualities:

1. He's not afraid to ask for help or admit he doesn't know something

Men tend to think they have to be all-knowing, but a true gentleman has enough confidence to admit when he's wrong and recognizes when someone knows more than him.

2. He is honest, always

A strong sense of integrity is a sure sign you have found one of the good ones. Honesty is key in relationships and life, but gentlemen are never rude.

3. He's got a great sense of humor

He loves to laugh and he loves to make you laugh. Gentlemen know that laughter is the essence of life and they live for it.

4. He's not afraid of witty banter

This one probably seems a little bit weird, but a true gentleman will know how much teasing is the perfect amount of teasing. He won't make fun or criticize, but he will make you feel special and, in the process, show off how well he knows you.

5. He has opinions, but he doesn't force them on others

All good men have opinions, but gentlemen don't always insist on sharing them.

6. He knows who he is

He knows who he is, what he wants and what his purpose in life is. Real gentlemen enjoy compliments just like the rest of us, but they don't need them to feel worthwhile.

7. He is confident, but not overbearing

Every woman loves a confident man, but it is a fine line between confident and cocky. A gentleman knows that line, and even if he puts a toe on it occasionally, his confidence never comes across as him thinking he is better than anyone else.

8. He doesn't just tell you he loves you, he shows you

He still tells you he loves you everyday, but his actions back up his words 100 percent of the time.

9. He only has eyes for you

A gentleman's eye will never wander from the beauty he already has right in front of him. At the end of the day, you know he would never look at another woman the way he looks at you.

10. He values your opinion

And he asks for it regularly. He knows that everyone, especially his wife, has so much to offer and he is eager to know and respect your views.

11. He treats his mother, and your mother right

Mothers always say, "You can tell how your husband will treat you by looking at the way he treats his mother." It's slightly cliche, but so true. A gentleman is a gentleman in all facets of life, but first and foremost when he is with his mother.

12. He tries to protect you

It may get annoying at times, but he takes his role as protector very seriously and you know he would do anything, (and I mean anything) for you.

13. He takes pride in his appearance

Not in a, "I can't touch a child because he might get a crumb on my new Armani suit" kind of way, but in an, "It's obvious he takes care of himself" kind of way.

14. He is well-educated

This doesn't just mean he has a college degree, or even a masters degree or a PhD. A gentleman takes the time to educate himself about the world he lives in. That may be by going to college or it may be by simply putting forth the effort to take in the world around him. Either way, he usually has an educated opinion on most every subject.

15. He is thoughtful

Women are usually coined as the thoughtful sex. We think of others needs, bake brownies and worry incessantly, but men are just as capable as possessing those qualities; and real gentlemen do.

16. He is respectful of everyone

He takes the time to listen to others and really get to know them. He doesn't show respect based on deference or social class, but respects everyone for the unique things they bring to the table.

17. He trusts

He trusts you, he trusts himself and he trusts God. A gentleman is not afraid to fail because he knows when you jump, there is always the possibility you will fly. He embraces that possibility and flies every time.

There is not one perfect mold for the real gentleman, but if your spouse has got these qualities going on, then you should be grateful because you made a great choice!

The post 17 signs you married a real gentleman appeared first on FamilyToday.

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The best way to end every fight https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/the-best-way-to-end-every-fight/ Tue, 20 Dec 2016 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/the-best-way-to-end-every-fight/ It works like a charm!

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Disagreeing is a part of life and it is actually one of my favorite parts. How boring would life be if everyone just agreed all of the time? We are meant to disagree because we are all unique with different backgrounds, different lives and different views of the world. Disagreeing with others is actually a great way to broaden your horizons and see what else the world has to offer.

Unfortunately, respectful disagreements often times turn into full-blown fights. So, for those occasions when disagreements and discussions go rogue, do not despair. Instead, follow these three steps to end it the right way every time:

First: Talk it out

Pause for a moment, take a step back from the conversation, breath deep and talk it out. It may not be easy to do so at first, but the first calm words are the most difficult to say. No one wants to be the first to "give in" and admit they are wrong, so the argument continues on. When you take a minute to talk about what started the fight and evaluate whether or not it really matters; you will find that 99 percent of the time, it can be solved pretty easily with a simple compromise.

Second: Let it go

Just talking it out isn't enough, you also have to let go of whatever you were holding onto that caused contention. If he can't stand the smell of your nail polish, then simply paint your nails elsewhere. That is a simplified argument and solution, but you get the idea. Whatever it is you think you can't let go of, you can. God doesn't forgive selectively, so neither can we. Make the conscious decision to let go of petty problems and the burden of contention will be lifted. Plus, if you let it go, it will be nearly impossible for him to keep hanging on as well.

Third: Laugh it away

Laughter is truly the greatest gift of life, so let go of contention and look for the humor in every situation. Most fights stem from misunderstandings and misinterpretations that are hilarious when you stop and think about it. When you take that step back and appraise the situation, look for the humor. If you feel the situation is too tense for laughter, then find humor in the other aspects of life. Maybe a co-worker or a child did something funny; you can share that with your husband and laugh together. Laughter lightens any mood almost instantly and you two will both walk away smiling.

The steps to ending a fight perfectly and without any bitter feelings can be as simple as they sound. It will take practice to make these three steps a habit in your life, but it is worth it to create the time to master them. Take a step back, talk about it, let it go and then laugh it away; it will work every single time.

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