When my daughters began dating a new guy, I would always ask them, "Would he be willing to work for 14 years for your father for nothing but your hand in marriage?" This usually elicited uncomfortable giggles. "If not, he is not worthy of you," I would remind them.

You don't have to believe in the Bible to love the story of Rachel. It is a wonderful story to relate to daughters. I always taught my daughters to think of themselves as Rachels.

Here's the story from Genesis: Jacob met Rachel at the well and wanted to marry her. He agreed to work for seven years for her father, Laban, in exchange for Rachel's hand in marriage. Laban agreed, but at the end of the seven years, he substituted his older daughter, Leah, for Rachel. Jacob married Leah, but still wanted Rachel. Again, he offered to work for seven years for Rachel.

It was a different culture then, so obviously we wouldn't want every part of the story to come to pass. But the message for our daughters is that this man worked for 14 years for nothing except the privilege of marrying Rachel.

The truth is, getting your daughters into the mindset that they are of such worth that they needn't settle for any old scrub begins much earlier. They must be taught that they are precious, self-reliant, smart, talented, and good. They must be taught that there is so much more to them than the physical components that make them up — beautiful face, breasts, long legs, and small waist — whatever they happen to have that attracts boys to them. If they believe that they have the ability to take care of themselves and to make good decisions on their own, they will be less likely to run into the open arms of the first young man who grabs their attention.

We're not responsible for raising snobs, but we are responsible for raising daughters who know they don't have to compromise themselves to survive. So how do we do it?

1. Limit messages that degrade women

We would do well to limit the messages that come in droves from media that reinforce the notion that women are objects of desire. We are hit with a barrage of images that most of us cannot live up to, though some of us are dying trying. There is more to women than the bodies plastered on billboards or shown writhing in beds. When you can't avoid these messages, at least let your daughters know you don't agree with their portrayal of women.

2. Praise your daughters for their own unique character strengths

As our daughters grow, we should praise them for the things that make up a good woman: their kindness, their intellect, the sense of humor, their resilience, their resourcefulness, their talents. These are the things of worth and they are the things that will help them make choices that will steer them away from heartache and toward joy.

3. Make sure fathers know their influence matters, too

Mothers aren't the only ones responsible for guiding their daughters. Whether a father is in the home or living separately, he can inspire his daughters to value themselves just by being good to their mother. One of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

Fathers, to raise a daughter that demands respect from men and women alike, show that respect to your wife.

Mothers, expect and accept that respect from your husband.

The post 3 keys to raising a truly CONFIDENT daughter appeared first on FamilyToday.

I love this topic, because children so often hear something entirely different than what we are meaning to say. They also remember every word and hold us to what we say, so we need to be thoughtful in the words we choose. I broke it down into five types of compliments that we need to think carefully before we use:

1. Comparisons

Children should be judged on their own merits, not on how they compare to other children. This type of compliment may leave the child feeling second-rate:

Instead of

"You're almost as smart as your brother!"

Try

"You're doing a great job keeping up with your homework. I appreciate the good grades.

Rather than

"You'll be prettier than any of the other girls at the dance tonight!"

Perhaps

"You are lovely tonight. Just remember who you are and what you stand for."

2. Projections

Giving children unrealistic or lofty projections could make them unfulfilled when those ideals are not met:

Instead of

"You're so beautiful, guys will be lined up around the corner!"

Try

"You have a beauty that comes from all the goodness inside."

Rather than

"You're so great with money, you'll be a millionaire by the time you're 20!"

Try

"Money management will serve you very well when you start a family of your own."

3. Superlatives

Telling children they are the MOST this or the BEST that can be detrimental when they realize they are not:

Not so good

"There's never been a better piano player in the world!"

Better

"Your musical gift has the power to uplift a lot of people."

Instead of

"No one will ever love you the way I love you!" (this one has self-fulfilling prophecy written all over it!)

Try

"Be thoughtful about who you date. Take the time to find someone worthy of you.

4. Cutesy

Cutesy is the opposite of using superlatives. It's when you diminish an accomplishment by making it less significant than it is to the child:

Rather than

"That is the most darling little replication of the Sistine Chapel I have ever seen!"

Perhaps

"I love that you took so much time and care in making this. I'm really impressed."

Instead of

"You're so adorable when you're mad!"

Try

"It looks like you might be upset about something. Would you like to talk?" (This is not a compliment, but neither is the first one!)

5. Complimenting things that are not of lasting worth

It's really important to use sparingly compliments that pertain to unimportant things. I hear parents and grandparents (and others) say too often to a child, "You are so pretty/handsome!" While it is important to hear that on special occasions, it is one quality that could be taken away at any moment. It is vital for children to know that they are so much more than a pretty face. As an alternative, these are some compliments on characteristics that can last, will benefit others, and are of eternal value:

• "You are such a good helper."

• "I like how you think good things about other people."

• "You make me laugh, and I love to laugh."

• "You have a lot of good ideas."

Compliments are important. A father once told me, "If I compliment my wife or children, they'll stop trying." What a sad, false commentary. I have found that, generally, compliments given thoughtfully give children landmarks that let them know they are on a good path - one that they should stay on. So, think first, and then give praise liberally but thoughtfully.

The post 5 hurtful ways you’re complimenting your child (even though you mean the best) appeared first on FamilyToday.

Here are some simple ways to ignite your child's love of learning.

Simple conversation

Engage in what's going on in your child's classroom. Go for specifics. Rather than ask, "How was school today?" try, "Did your class finish reading 'The Giving Tree'? What did you think of it?" or "The science fair is coming up. What were you thinking of doing for it?"

What if?

My children loved to play 'What if?' when they were growing up. Try some of these questions: What if your teacher showed up in her swimsuit to teach? What if you went into the room and the walls were black? What if the teacher said there would be no more math taught in school? Let them give you a list of consequences and repercussions for the questions. Listen without judgment.

Creative thinking

Give your children a bag of 10-12 things: an alarm clock, an orange, a flannel shirt, a ball cap, a ruler, a book of poetry, a colander, a towel - just odd, unrelated things. Send your kids off and give them 10-15 minutes to come up with a play (if you have several children) or story (if you have just one child) that uses each item and makes sense.

Creative engineering

Give your child a little box of odd throw-aways: an egg carton, a lid from a jar, some popsicle sticks, twist ties, broken objects that are safe (like non-working toys or parts from an incomplete game), plastic lids or containers, plastic silverware, rubber bands from produce, etc. Then, arm them with safe scissors, glue, tape, and other items necessary to produce a working machine. Leave them to it. If they are older, let them take apart and try to repair something broken: a radio, a clock, an appliance, a camera. Just supervise anything electrical and make sure that they don't plug the item in until you check it out.

Household duties

When giving children chores, include some that require learning something new. Have them help with budgeting, menu planning, shopping, home repairs and landscaping. Get their advice and work with them to bring the project to fruition. Call them Project Managers. Let older children work with younger children to teach them their newly acquired ability.

Make them think

Have your children explain their decisions to you, such as what they choose to wear on a particular day. For example, say, "That's a nice shirt. Why did you choose that one today?" Asking them questions about their choices of clothes and activities not only allows them to figure it out for themselves, but makes them more aware of their choices and why they make them.

Reading, reading, reading

It is impossible to overemphasize reading. Let your children see you reading and enjoying it. Read with them at bedtime. Let them read to you. Fun books, scriptures, the classics - read them all. Let your kids read labels in the grocery store when you shop. Give them books to look at on the potty chair. Get them a library card as soon as they are old enough and make trips regularly to the library.

Treasure hunts

Create a treasure hunt using clever riddles, math equations, passages from books, problems to solve. In the end, the victor shares a treasure treat with the family. When they are old enough, let them create the treasure hunt.

Create homework havens

Create an atmosphere for homework that will entice them. Have a special place that only they can go to work. Put on soft classical music. Make certain the temperature is right and ask them if they are comfortable. Provide a snack.

Take advantage of learning tools and games

There are tons of great learning games and apps out there. With color, fun and creativity, these games challenge your children but do so in a delightful way.

Learning is fun and the sooner you get your children creatively engaged, the greater their experience will be.

The post 10 unique ways to ignite your child’s inner genius appeared first on FamilyToday.

Here's a tried and true method of resolution that resulted in much more peace in our home ... if we did it consistently:

• When a question is asked, stop what you are doing and give them your full attention. (This may seem like a time-consumer when you have eleven thousand things to get done, but the time it will save you in the long run, not to mention the feeling of importance you are placing on that child, is priceless and worth the investment.)

• Give them your answer.

• Allow them to ask if this is an answer the two of you can talk about. (You have just established an important tactic that gives them a voice on things that might be negotiable; believe it or not, if you allow them this little indulgence, it actually gives more validity when you say "no" a second time.)

• If you don't feel like this is something negotiable and are firm, tell them "no" and remind them that the second "no" is final. If they persist, simply walk away.

• If you feel that perhaps your "no" is something that warrants further discussion, tell them "Yes, we may discuss it. Tell me your thoughts and then I'll make my final decision." Discuss, and give your final answer.

Here's an example of the method played out:

• "Mom, can I go to Sarah's to do homework?"

• "No." (Note the glaring lack of child-frustrating ambiguity!)

• "Is this something we can talk about?"

• "Sure, tell me why you want to do homework at Sarah's."

• "We're project partners and she has some notes and I have others and it would be so much easier and wouldn't tie up the telephone or computer if I just went over there to work."

• "All good points. Will you show me your project when you get home?"

• "Of course."

• "You may go. Be home at 5:45."

• "Thanks, mom."

And the alternative ending:

• "Sure, tell me why you want to do homework at Sarah's."

• (Explanation)

• "All good points. Unfortunately, the last time you worked at Sarah's you came home late and didn't have anything to show me. So, the answer is no."

• "OK. I understand. Maybe next time."

We laid out this plan to the children (a blended family with 5 of his and 4 of mine) on the family home evening, one night a week we set aside for family only. It was all explained and questions were answered so that it was no surprise how things would play out in the future. There was some adjustment when the final answer was "no" and they wanted to continue to badger me, but I simply walked away and, if necessary, went to my room as a refuge. It wasn't long before the method began to work beautifully. They were appreciative for the opportunities presented themselves to discuss a "no" and much more accepting when a discussion led to the final "no."

As I mentioned earlier, this is an investment in time, to stop what you are doing and hold a pow-wow. But in the end, your children learn that they are worth your time—and they respect you in return.

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The great Arthur Ashe said so much in these few words. There are huge lessons in them that we would be wise to teach our children. It is so easy for children to become overwhelmed-keeping up with studies, extracurriculars, chores, finding and growing talents, following their dreams through the day-to-day struggles, living in circumstances like poverty or bad neighborhoods.

We can help our children cope with their challenges by teaching them these lessons.

Start where you are

It doesn't matter what your circumstances are. All it takes is committing to that first step. If your children dream of becoming astronauts, encourage them to read books on the subject. Buy them model rockets or give them old egg cartons and glue and have them build their own. Let them know the stamina and strength required and set up a circuit training course for them to run around the outside of the house. Lie on a blanket under the stars with them and talk about the worlds there are out there to explore.

Whatever your children dream of becoming, every worthy goal begins with a single step. Let them know that they can carry out their dreams by beginning where they are and that, if necessary, they can do it by baby steps.

Use what you have

You don't have to have a state-of-the-art life to make your dreams come true. Sometimes people get so caught up in the things they "need" to make their dreams happen that they lose sight of the dreams themselves. Surrounding your children with the latest and greatest doesn't give them talent. If all they have is desire and drive, teach them to use those things. Teach them they have the power to make things happen. Show them how to improvise. If you are making pancakes and don't have baking powder, show them how to substitute. If you don't know how to substitute, look it up. If you need to unscrew something and don't have a screwdriver, use a butter knife. Teach your children not to give up on a task simply because they don't have the tools. Teach them to make the tools.

This concept also applies to less tangible challenges. If your children lack the mental or physical ability to do something, encourage them to follow their dreams anyway. History is full of folks who overcame insurmountable odds to make things happen: Helen Keller, blind and deaf; George Washington Carver, born into slavery; Nick Vujicic, born without limbs; John Nash who suffered from schizophrenia. Tell your children "they can" and give them support, not excuses. In the words of Nick Vujicic, "No arms, no legs, no worries." Share examples like these with your children to help them learn to use what they have and not lament what they don't have.

Do what you can

Learn never to accept your children's cries of "I can't do it." Come back with, "Yes, you can! I believe in you." There is no limit to what the human spirit can accomplish. Teach your children that and help them to actually believe it. This will open endless doors for them. Teach them that they can accomplish anything they put their minds and hearts to. Adopt the phrase, "Just do it." No excuses.

Another good concept that goes hand-in-hand with this one is that God reaches our reaching. If we do all we can do to accomplish a worthy goal, God will step in and help us along.

While this doesn't mean that there isn't a time to step back, take a break, and evaluate your work, it does mean you should do all that you can to make things happen for you. Teaching your children to start where they are, use what they have and do what they can will help them overcome their circumstances and dream big. Show them by example and express to them in words that there is no limit to what they can accomplish if they put in the work and effort.

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To that end, let's take a moment to examine several stereotypical monsters and how our children might actually be supernatural.

Vampires

My husband used to joke that our children were vampires because when they were nursing newborns, they would sleep all day and stay awake all night sucking the life out of me. I looked for signs that he might be on to something. They were too young to have fangs (thank heavens!) and I never saw a black cape in their wardrobe, though a couple of them did have pronounced widow's peaks.

Zombies

This one is too easy! Toddlers learning to walk. Am I right? There's even an awesome diagram comparing the uncanny similarities. Tuft of hair on head. Incomplete set of teeth. Insatiable appetite. Funky smell. Lurching and stumbling. Take a close look at the next toddler you see, and tell me I'm wrong.

Mummies

Anyone who has ever left a box of Band-Aids within reach of a toddler knows that there is a distinct possibility their child is a mummy.

Werewolves

My son was born hairy. Sorry, sunshine, but it's true. He never really said much until he was 4. Prior to that, it was mainly growling. Growling and flexing. I have my suspicions. He was also quite nocturnal and got a little more rowdy during the full moon.

Creature from the Black Lagoon

When teens go through that punk/Goth stage, they can seem like they've crawled out of somewhere. Ragged clothes with rips that resemble scales. Heavy black eyeliner. Crazy hair. My teen emerged from her lagoon long enough to put the fear of God in the rest of the family. Then back to the swamp that was her bedroom. I may or may not have seen her eat a fly.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. or Ms. Hyde

{mad scientist}

Puberty. Boys. Girls. Mood swings. Death stares. Sweet and loving. Death stares. Sweet and loving. Death stares. Sweet and loving. Death stares. Walking on eggshells. Holding your breath. Which will show up at the dinner table?

The Blob

Teenage boys go through massive growth spurts. They roll in, make strange bodily noises, sleep 18 hours a day, consume everything in their path and then spread themselves and their things in a nice thick layer over their room. Enough said.

Frankenstein's monster

Every child is actually a Frankenstein's monster. They contain the best parts of both parents, put together in one awkward, bumbling creation that will terrify you one minute and fight to protect you the next. Just watch for neighbors carrying torches and angry looks on their faces.

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This lovely quote says it perfectly: "When God pushes you to the edge, trust Him fully, because only two things can happen. Either He will catch you when you fall, or He will teach you to fly." Thank you, eloquent unknown person.

There are many stories in the scriptures that help illustrate this. Choose these or your own favorites, and study them as a family, explaining how you can all learn about becoming mighty in the Lord.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

These verses instruct us to show gratitude for our shortcomings, for the grace that comes from our knowledge and faith that what the Lord did for us is real and will fill in the gaps. We must still do all we can to live up to this precious gift, but acknowledging it, along with our own human frailties, is the first step.

2 Chronicles 27:6

6 So Jotham became mighty, because he prepared his ways before the Lord his God.

In this particular case, Jotham was rewarded with strength and power for his humility and obedience. I'm sure he felt the way most of us do when asked to do something we esteem greater than us. We doubt. But obedience brings spiritual confidence and, with it, mightiness. Our job, then, is to not become proud, but to remain humble instruments in the Lord's hands.

Hebrews 11:33-34

33 Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions,

34 Quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to fight the armies of the aliens.

A beautiful compilation of instances where the Lord rewarded faith with strength.

1 Samuel 17:49-50

49 And David put his hand in his bag, and took thence a stone, and slang it, and smote the Philistine in his forehead, that the stone sunk into his forehead; and he fell upon his face to the earth.

50 So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and with a stone, and smote the Philistine, and slew him; but there was no sword in the hand of David.

One of the most well-known stories of might in the Lord. We all have giants in our lives, but with faith and reliance on the Lord, we can slay them.

2 Corinthians 13:4-5

4 For though he was crucified through weakness, yet he liveth by the power of God. For we also are weak in him, but we shall live with him by the power of God toward you.

5 Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?

This is one of the most important of all the illustrations - the story of our Savior and the promise of hope. We are not reprobates, and we shall, through our faith, rise and live again with Him.

One of my favorite stories of faith and might is that of Abraham and Isaac. This is a clear case of the Lord giving a trial to a man to show the man, himself, his own strength. The Lord knew what Abraham would choose to do. He knew of Abraham's faith. But Abraham needed to see for himself how faithful he was. He was given the might to sacrifice his own son, if that was the Lord's will, but he was rewarded with not having to. It left him with a better sense of his own strength and faith.

If we teach our children about faith, they will shine through their trials like a beacon to the world. If they lack faith, we need to teach them to pray for it. Remind them to always remain humble, malleable, trusting and reliant on the Lord.

Take time to study with your family, sharing favorite scripture stories and showing how anything is possible in the Lord.

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One of the most beautiful words in a child's vocabulary is "betend."

"Betend you're the mom, and I'm the little girl and I'm going to school."

"Betend we're best friends, and we're going to a party and we need to put on make up."

"Betend I've just been robbed, and you're the superhero."

I love that word. Even before they know how to correctly pronounce it, they know what it is.

As soon as the girls were in my front door, they began to pretend. They knew what they wanted to do, and I quickly discovered my job was not hostess, but facilitator. Observer. Admirer. Silent watcher-over. Provider of tools.

Children need to pretend. More than event planners, they need silent partners. The need to explore and improvise. They need to turn pots and pans into musical instruments and blankets into castles. They need far less, "Don't make a mess!" and a lot more, "Clean up after you make a mess." Less, "Don't get your clothes and hands dirty." More, "Have fun. You can have a bath when you're finished."

This liberation even extends to my nickname. I remember planning what my future grandchildren would call me. I was partial to "granny." I was young. What happened when they actually came along was quite surprising to me. I let them choose. It wasn't up to me or to their parents. It was up to them and what they were comfortable with. So now, to Riley, I'm Mighty Bob. To Madeline, I'm Mamie. To Harry, I'm MayMay. To Makenna, I'm Granny. To Ella, Delta, Sage and Gideon, I'm Grandma. They chose, and we're all happy. There is no confusion or correction. It all works and when they are together, it doesn't seem to matter to them that they refer to me by different names.

So here are some tips on letting go of planning and facilitating more fun.

Playtime and play groups

Provide the props: Dress-up clothes can just be things you're getting rid of, don't have to be fancy. Kitchen gadgets - everything can be washed after. Recyclables for arts and crafts - clean egg cartons, lids, old newspapers and magazines, used copy paper, yarn and fabric scraps, throw in school glue, safe scissors, and they'll be set. Simple tools - screw drivers and screws, wood scraps, small hammer and nails, covert supervision. Blankets and chairs for constructing places to live.

Parties

Have a list of activities and games planned, but don't go to a lot of expense or trouble. Keep an eye on the play and if there is a lull, pull something out. Otherwise, let them lead the way with the fun they create themselves.

Little ones

Even very young toddlers will create their own language and fun when left to their own devices. It's amazing to watch them communicate with one another. They may not be able to say the word "pretend," but they are constructing their own playtime. Provide them with colorful toys and let them play.

Pre-teens

In addition to arts and crafts, consider letting them in the kitchen with free reign and reckless abandon. Tell them what's off-limits and let them create their own grub. Be there, but be inconspicuous. Don't hover, just make sure the firemen aren't called out.

Boredom blues?

Have boxes and bags of props. Odd combinations of things from around the house. Have them write and perform a play using every single item in the box or bag. If you have enough kids around, divide into teams and have them entertain one another. Bag might contain: an alarm clock, a rolling-pin, a pair of old boots, a children's book, a newspaper, and a box of cereal. Use your imagination and make the items as unrelated as possible to stretch their imaginations. Give them a time limit to make it more interesting. All adults need to gather, watch, and applaud.

The great outdoors

Encourage outdoor play when weather permits. Kids and electronics are a downward spiral. Tell them they can create their own realm out there - kingdom with fairies and ogres and wizards.

Facilitating children's play is one of the best ways to encourage their imaginations. Let them create worlds, crafts, foods, music, art, and busy minds. The more imagination they have, the less you will have to intervene and listen to the "I'm so bored" blues. Less hands on, more happy children.

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It would have been so easy to say, "Oh, I get it. I can figure this out on my own." But, I instantly noticed the pride she was feeling in being able to teach an old dog (if you don't have anything nice to say ...) a new trick. I allowed her to continue her tutoring, asking her questions that I knew the answer to so she could show me more.

Before it sounds like I'm some kind of gaming genius, let me clarify. I caught on quickly, but she did do a lot of genuine teaching.

It got me really thinking about allowing our children to have some "expertise" in areas of their life that matter most to them. By doing so, we encourage them to gain more knowledge in more areas.

There has to be balance, though. No one likes to be around a know-it-all smarty pants who contradicts them. We can create monsters if we marvel at every little thing a child does. One of my pet peeves is children who say, "Didn't you know that?" with a smug, condescending look.

Finding the middle ground is something all parents have the ability to do, if they just listen to their inner-parent. The one thing I want all parents to know is that they are endowed with the keys to parenting. They have the intuition to raise the children that were loaned to them. God doesn't send them here without blessing us with an internal guidebook.

Here are some ideas and the fringe benefits that come from giving children a little expertise:

1. Notice their interests

Notice what your children are passionate about - art, music, Minecraft, skateboarding, chess, science, whatever. Ask them questions about their interests. Ask if there is anything you can do to support them. Challenge them to learn more.

2. Tell them how much it means to you

Encouraging children by letting them know how much you enjoy watching them is so much more important than being proud of them when they excel. If they know they don't have to win all the time or be the best, but that they should just enjoy the practice and learning, they will likely try to learn more.

3. Suggest an exchange

A good way to balance their expertise is by showing them yours. Offer to exchange knowledge. You teach them chess; they can teach you to rollerblade. They can show you how to do the new math; you can teach them to bake a pie. Find something they want to learn and teach them, but ask them to teach you something in return.

4. Outside mentoring

If you can see that there is something your child really, really goes for, why not consider getting them some mentoring to further their expertise. Many times, this can be bartered for or look into classes at a community center or community college. This gives them something that is theirs alone and makes them the family expert at it.

5. Their dream, not yours

Use caution when pushing your child toward her passion, making sure it is her dream and not something you always wanted to do, but never had the opportunity. Follow your children, watch them, listen to them and go from there.

6. Let them ramble on

This is something that is difficult for most parents who have their minds on a dozen things that all seem to be a priority. It is easy to shut down and not hear when the kids ramble on about their field of expertise. Try to focus on them and their passions. Bedtime tuck-in is a great time to listen and have a little one-on-one, asking them if they did anything to further their knowledge that day.

7. Keep them well-rounded

All of this being said, now it is time to add one caution. Some kids become so keenly involved in their single expertise that they become one-dimensional; driving everyone around them nuts. Make sure to keep them involved in other things so that they have a well-rounded schedule of activities and don't become one of those adults whose apartment looks like the inside of the Starship Enterprise, complete with everything in that motif.

Not jumping in and telling your children that you know everything they are involved in is difficult and requires great restraint. But, letting them be an expert in something or other will encourage them to continue on and learn a lot about a lot. Hopefully, they will grow to love expanding their minds in a variety of passions.

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There are, however, a few important truths that may seem contrary to everything you thought you knew. Here they are:

Naptime trumps dirty dishes

Growing a little life inside of you was exhausting, but it was nothing compared to the "on-call 24/7" life you now live. You may have been a meticulous housekeeper before, but now you might realize the importance of taking care of yourself first. When the baby sleeps, you need to take advantage of that time to get some much needed rest. You will quickly learn that some things can wait.

Bathroom

The bathroom will never be your sanctuary again...until it's time to scrub it. When children are infants, they lie in a seat while you shower. When they are toddlers, there will be endless catastrophes while you try to take a quick break. When they are pre-teens, everything they need to know will be asked through the locked door. When they are teenagers, they figure out that the best way to get a "yes" answer from you is to ask through that same locked door. But, don't worry. You will get the bathroom to yourself again when you are cleaning it and the children are nowhere to be found.

Dinner

Don't expect a hot meal. Ever. As babies, children scream to be fed the minute you sit down. As they grow, they will invariably need something, and then they'll need something else. Learn to put everything on the table your children could possibly need before you sit down. Better yet, have your children get up and get their own needed items - unless it's a heavy gallon of milk (see Floors).

Floors

Floors become great places for babies to graze. Old crumbs, dust bunnies, pennies and bits of paper are all things you quickly learn to see from your little one's eye level. You will notice things you never noticed before. Vacuuming and mopping will become more frequent. Floors will become the only clean thing in the house. That is, until your baby begins to walk. After that, don't ever expect to see clean floors again. Spills, muddy shoe prints and play dough caked into carpet all become new indoor landscaping options - and it's OK.

Jeans

You won't fit into your jeans right away. You won't be the same size leaving the hospital as you were pre-pregnancy. It just doesn't work that way. Be patient. Love your body for the brilliant miracle it just performed! Your husband may fit into his jeans just fine, but he can't do what you just did.

Breastfeeding

If you choose to breastfeed, bear in mind that breastfeeding is not instinctual and must be learned. It is an area for patience. Keep at it. Don't give up. You will probably worry that your baby isn't getting enough and will starve to death. Not the case. It's just that breasts don't come see-through with ounce marks on them.

Baby sleep patterns

It is not normal for babies to sleep through the night, and your girlfriend who says her 6-week-old does is probably a liar. Babies run through milk quickly with their rapid growth and development. Your baby will need to be fed so frequently that you might think you'll never have a moment to yourself again. You will.

Husband

You may very well hate your husband as he sleeps through the nocturnal feedings, the changings, the teething and the mystery fevers. It won't last. If he ever reasons his way out of those duties by saying the words that every woman hates hearing ("But, I have to work"), just don't do anything that will land you in jail. Baby needs you just now.

There's so much to learn. Motherhood will feel like a crash course, but learn to laugh and enjoy. Children grow so fast. Love every minute of being a new mom. Next time, you'll be the expert dispensing advice to the newbies.

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