Life is settling in after the crazy whirlwind that was my life this summer. And by settling in, I'm talking long hours at work, the kids going back to school, and, oh by the way, two cases of hand, foot, and mouth in my little men, along with a horrid cold for me.

I use to play softball professionally but had not picked up or thrown a ball in eight years. Several months ago, I was asked to rejoin Softball Canada for the World Championships. This meant I could get back into the sport I love but I would be away from the people I love for several weeks at a time.

Now, life seems to be back on track.

I have had a ton of emotions rip through me since I have been home. I really forgot how much team sports can teach a person. I know I have taken the life lessons with me, but when you are in the trenches, they are sometimes hard to gather.

And when I mean trenches, I mean just plain daily life as a parent and a small business owner. Life seems tough at times. My summer away was hard and painful in more ways than one, but in some ways, it was like a vacation - the lack of duties, no worries of bills, no rushing from school to work to recitals, no business problems. I was free. It was crazy!

I really have thought long and hard about the great things that came from this summer. Just the pure joy I had, the tough moments of missing my family, the reflection that came with looking at my life while I was, in essence, removed from my normal mom life. And I have some nuggets of wisdom I am keeping with me.

1. Take time for yourself to do something you love

More than ever, I understand what it means to do something you love. You know the saying, "money can't buy happiness?" I always understood it - but not on the level that I do now. I love softball, and I got to play it again on the world stage. Did I play to make money? Nope. Did I play because I love the game? Yep. And would I take that over staying back home and doing something I disliked, but was more lucrative? You know it! This summer reminded me how important it is to just play. To do something you have a passion for. To truly do something that makes you happy, without actively trying to be happy.

Nothing would make me happier than to see my kids find something they absolutely love to do in life. As they grow up, I can't wait for them to be excited for all of their passions ... practices, games, recitals, whatever makes them happy. I can't wait for them to try all kinds of sports and activities so they get a taste of what they can tolerate, what they like, and what they truly love. And, hopefully, that leads to a life driven by a fire that is lit inside of them, versus money in a bank account.

2. Stop being so hard on yourself

All you can do is your best, and what will be, will be. You can't be perfect, and holding yourself and others to that standard is not only unrealistic, but it's detrimental. Nothing good can come from having standards that are too high. This summer, we won the Bronze Medal. No, we weren't in first place, but you know what? That Bronze is Gold to me. I am not walking around saying, "What if?" - I am walking around with my head held high. We did our best and I couldn't be prouder.

When I watch my kids as they navigate life, I can't wait to support them and let them know that, no matter the outcome, that I support them in all their pursuits. I can't wait to teach them to learn from the past, and to also move on and focus on what they can do in the present to be better. After all, no one is perfect.

3. It doesn't matter what happens

What matters is how you react to what happens. Sport teaches that best. There are so many unknowns. The game doesn't stop when someone who is batting .067 hits a home run off of me. Nothing in life is predictable, and the more we can train ourselves to react in a way that brings positivity versus a complete meltdown, the better.

I haven't been the best at this as a mom. My patience has been shot and I have tended to "blow up" at times. Then, after the dust settles, I look back and have major feelings of guilt. Everyone is safe. The house didn't burn down. We have food to eat. More than anything, this summer reminded me that things happens. It doesn't matter WHAT happens. It matters HOW I react. And I am trying to be better at this.

My summer has really allowed me to look in the mirror and remember some pretty important lessons. As I said, these lessons aren't crazy. It is just normal mom-life stuff. I just was able to live them through an avatar - one without kids for the summer - and then when I got home, they hit me like a ton of bricks. Now, I am trying to bring them into everyday life.

Now, hold on while I CALMLY go into the kitchen and explain to my son why I asked him not to get the glitter out while playing spin art. Breathe, Lauren. It'll be OK. Even an entire tube of glitter that is everywhere on his body and all over the room can be cleaned up.

Right?

Editor's note: This article was originally published on TrAkAthletics. It has been modified and republished here with permission.

The post 3 ways to make your normal mom life a little more normal appeared first on FamilyToday.

My mommy guilt levels are through the roof right now. I'm writing this on the day before I take off for almost three weeks. And man, I think I have gone through every emotion possible.

You see, I use to play softball professionally but took a break. I had not played in eight years and was just recently asked to rejoin Softball Canada for the World Championships. This opportunity meant I could spend time getting back into the thing I loved but it also meant leaving my husband and my children for weeks for training and games.

This whole situation is like being pregnant and is paralleled as such:

• You find out and are SO excited. The excitement stays for a while.

• Then, you head into the "it's normal" phase and the excitement wears off a bit, but you're still anticipating and preparing for the upcoming event.

• And then at the end it's more like, "This needs to happen, and it needs to happen now!"

I recently had the conversation with my husband Dave that I just need it to be time to go. I am struggling with trying to be everything and do everything, and I need a break to go and focus on one thing.

This is what we, as parents, do. All the time. I am no different. The only difference now is that I'm writing about it and actually putting it into words.

But we all feel the same. We all have busy schedules and deal with the ups and downs of mommy guilt - the happiness, sadness, craziness, and everything in between. As I've gone through this journey over the last few months, I've taken my lumps, both physically and mentally.

And, I have two main conclusions.

1. The grass is always greener. Or so we think

I have been a stay-at-home mom and thought: "Well, if I worked and I just got out of the house, I would have more sanity, and everything would be better!"

I've also been a working mom and thought: "Holy cow, if I could just stay at home and spend more time with my kids, everything would be better!"

The last two years have put me in a place where I have had to wear many (sometimes too many) hats. And I've come to the conclusion that wherever we are at that moment in time, it's going to be hard. Plain and simple.

We can easily romanticize the other option, convincing ourselves that it's the "easier" or "better" option. But, no matter what, IT'S ALL REALLY HARD! So we may as well get used to it.

The quicker we embrace the challenge, the quicker we stop wasting our time in the fantasyland of "easier" parenting, which, I can guarantee, is a fictitious world that only exists in the movies.

2. Mommy guilt is real

And since it's not going anywhere, we may as well turn it into something positive. In my case, mommy guilt has helped me get things done.

As I was preparing to leave, my mommy-guilt was in full swing. So I spent Monday with my daughter, just the two of us. Tuesday was a day with one son, Wednesday was spent with my other son and Thursday was Family Day. And I cherished those special moments, regardless of Dave telling me I was leaving for three weeks, not three years.

Instead of beating myself up, I tried to turn the mommy guilt into something to feel good about, something memorable. And, no, it wasn't easy. But I tried really hard because, you know, I actually care. I realized that mommy guilt comes from a place of caring. So feel good that you are a mom who truly cares!

Whether you feel guilty about taking time for yourself, for cleaning the house instead of going outside on a nice day, for spending more time with a needy child than with your other children, or, in my case, leaving for the summer to play softball, just remember, it's going to be OK.

Nothing is going to make it easier, not even that fantasy life where the grass is greener. Just rest your head on your pillow at night knowing you are mom that loves your children so much you feel guilty about every little thing.

And if all else fails, grab a bottle of wine, call a friend, discuss the reasons why you are both terrible, and make each other feel better. You'll never get rid of mommy guilt altogether, but you can stop trying to be the "perfect mom." Despite what Pinterest may show us, that woman simply doesn't exist.

Editor's note: This article was originally published on TrAkAthletics. It has been modified and republished here with permission.

The post How to accept your mommy guilt appeared first on FamilyToday.

"Go for it, and figure the rest out later."

My husband, Dave, recently posted that on Facebook. I read it again and again. Fourteen times over, to be exact.

Those words are impactful to me. I try to live that way now, but it isn't always easy for me.

You see, I am a type-A planner. I am someone who likes to be organized. I need schedules and rules, and I like order. I am extremely black-and-white with no room for any gray area.

Living this way makes my life easier.

So, the whole, "We'll figure it out later" idea? Ugh.

That's an area where I need some help. Luckily, I have the best "figurer-outer" ever in my husband. (And no, he is not writing this.)

I use to play softball professionally but haven't picked up or thrown a ball in eight years. Just recently, I was asked to rejoin Softball Canada for the World Championships. This meant I could get back into the sport I love but it also meant being away for weeks from the people I love.

My husband is the one who gently coaxed me into doing this whole softball thing. When I got the invitation to play again, my immediate reaction was, "Well, of course I can't. I have a family and a new business. And I don't have any cleats. And I haven't picked up a ball in years. And, and, and ..."

I could barely get kids to school on time as my life stood. I had already missed speech therapy appointments for my son. I had missed gymnastics on accident. Quite frankly, there was a day that I kept the kids home from a whole day of school because my schedule just seemed so overloaded. (By the way, they are still alive after missing a day. Oh, the horror. It does help that they can't figure out what day of the week it is. I just told them it was Sunday. Kidding, not kidding.)

The thought of adding in an extremely high maintenance "extracurricular" activity like softball seemed impossible. And I mean that in the most literal definition. Im-poss-i-ble. It seemed impossible from a logistical standpoint and a scheduling standpoint, not to mention a mental, physical and emotional point of view.

What I did have in my favor is the experience of winging it. Years ago, my husband and I decided to leave what most considered a perfectly happy life - which included our best friends in Chicago - to move away to and start our new business. It happened fast. Two days after our house went on the market, it was sold. We took everything we had, moved away from everything we knew, (including an income!) and took a chance to follow our hearts.

If I'm being honest, we might have panicked just a tad. And I do think that for the first three months after we moved, Dave lived in his robe until 3 p.m. (and that's only if I called him on it, otherwise it would be all day). We were just a little bit lost.

But, now, two years later, we just celebrated our one-year anniversary in our business and we are absolutely stoked. We trusted our guts and somehow, we figured it out.

We took the same approach to growing our family. We jumped in, feet first (more like head first) and had three kids in three years and, well, the best we could tell each other is, "We'll figure it out later."

Go for it!

Early into my adulthood, there were far too many things I passed up because my type-A self couldn't schedule them easily enough on the calendar. The worry of being out of sorts killed off too many opportunities.

What about you guys?

That girls' trip that seems impossible?

That family vacation that you really want to take but it seems too daunting?

That self-defense class you want to try but are worried you can't squeeze it in?

Take the leap. Go for it!

You can always figure the rest out later.

Editor's note: This article was originally published on TrAkAthletics. It has been modified and republished here with permission.

The post Why you should go for it and figure out the rest later appeared first on FamilyToday.

Motherhood is often described as the ultimate selfless job. We give of ourselves constantly, prioritizing our children and our children's needs over ours, and, often, taking care of yourself isn't an option.

As the past few weeks have flown by, there has been an idea that has been nagging at me, challenging me and forcing me to almost re-evaluate what I'm doing.

That idea revolves around a mother doing something for herself.

I love softball and even played professionally. However, I took a break from playing and didn't pick up or throw a ball in eight years. Just recently I was asked to rejoin Softball Canada for the 2016 World Championships. This meant weeks away from my husband and my children for training and games.

I have been overwhelmed with all kinds of support. To the people who know me: thank you. To the people I don't know who have blindsided me with outstanding support, emailing me and messaging me kind words: thank you.

But there are also the others. They are the people who cannot understand why I'm leaving my family for a summer and taking time away from them to train.

Those people have given me pause. They have had me thinking for a (long) minute.

To those people: Thank you. No really. Thank you.

You have tested my heart and stirred my mind. You have given me reason to reflect on what it means to balance being a mother and still being myself. You've also tested my mettle as a competitive athlete and mother. Of course, I get defensive and maybe even a bit angry. I'm a mama bear not a mama kitten.

You are the reason I have come to these conclusions:

1. Taking care of yourself isn't selfish

If we take care of ourselves, we are better able to serve our children, our families and others around us. Read that again. (I'll wait.)

One of our favorite sayings is, "You can't pour from an empty cup." It's so true. I'm at my best when I get a good sweat and take some time for myself. I have found that I'm more patient, more present and, overall, happier.

2. Short-term pain, long-term gain

Will taking a few weeks away from my kids be difficult? You bet. Will taking another few weeks away from them again be hard? Absolutely. But once it's over, I know that we will have learned immeasurable lessons.

My kids will hopefully see what hard work, sacrifice and determination can do. This is a hands-on lesson and a teachable moment that encourages my children to follow their dreams.

3. Monkey see, monkey do

It's so easy to tell my kids to work hard for what they want. It's quite another to show them.

I want to show my kids what we believe in. I can show my daughter, Grace, what "strong is beautiful" really means. I have the opportunity to show my boys that girls can play in the dirt, too, and anything is possible if you put your mind to it.

I am stoked that I can show my children what passion means. I am a real, live example of what it means to live authentically. After all, as a parent, nothing would make me happier than seeing my children grow up to live the lives that they want.

4. Selfishness is all relative

What one person perceives to be selfish, another person won't. Selfishness is really an attitude that can take meaning anywhere, or it can be checked at the door. I don't think what I'm doing is selfish because I simply don't have that mindset.

I'm looking at the big picture. This is a door that has been opened to teach not only my family but others as well, that it's OK to be your own person. I'm not just "Grace's mom" or "Jack's mom" or "Will's mom" (sorry, guys, I did the mom-thing where I couldn't leave any kid out on that one).

I am Lauren. And you know what? I have A LOT of things that fill my heart that don't involve Play-Doh or Ninja Turtles. Will I still get down on the floor and make Play-Doh snakes and stage Ninja Turtle fights? Of course! But I still need to do "me."

When the opportunity arises, whether you want to exercise, journal, take a night out with friends, go on a date with your spouse or, in my case, play softball again, it's OK to jump at the chance. Again, taking care of yourself IS NOT selfish.

Right now in my life, I do have the opportunity and the support that allows me to run with my dreams. And, if I do say so myself, right along with that comes some pretty awesome life lessons for my children.

Editor's note: This article was originally published on TrAkAthletics. It has been modified and republished here with permission.

The post 4 reasons why taking time for yourself isn’t selfish appeared first on FamilyToday.