If you are looking to save your marriage or improve your relationship, there is hope. It may seem impossible to be a perfectly happy couple, but it's not if you know this secret:

It's normal to have conflict in a marriage. That's all part of being happy! The challenge is knowing how to find happiness through conflict. Every couple will be tested with arguments and fights. These things are challenging and disheartening, but don't let the love you have for each other be lost in the rough patches of life. If you and your parter can weather out all of life's conflicts with the mindsets discussed below, you both can be that happy couple everyone aspires to be.

Choose love

Don't ignore that undeniable chemistry, no matter how frustrated you are. Chemistry doesn't guarantee the success of your marriage, but it does give you a reminder that you love your spouse when you aren't really feeling the love. Remember to say "I love you" and mean it, even when you don't feel like it. Find things that you love about your marriage when you are pointing out things you'd like to change. All those quirks and qualities that initially brought you two together shouldn't be ignored or diluted in the routine of life. Choosing love shows an effort to have a long-term relationship, not just one that's dissolved when things stop working. In the beginning, love may have been a butterfly feeling, but it's so much more than that. Love is found in every decision; it's found in things you do every day. Choosing love means you are willing to make things work.

Have endurance

If you go to bed with the mindset that your relationship is disposable, you are actively avoiding happiness in your marriage. Endurance is key to finding perfect happiness in your marriage, but you'll never reach it if you give up.

Be positive

There's not room in your mind for both negativity and happiness. Dwelling on what makes you upset isn't going to make you happy and will trick your mind into thinking you are actually unhappy. If you are seeking negativity and cynicism, you are sabotaging your chance of happiness in your relationship.

Repeat yourself

Say "I love you" often! Let this phrase become routine as you both leave for the day, but use it in surprising situations, too. Find ways to say "I love you" with little letters, surprise texts through the day, a candid snapshot of him when he's not looking, or written on the eggs in the fridge. Don't ever let your partner doubt your love.

Prioritize

Even a happy marriage will be stressful or frustrating at times, but don't allow these emotions to overpower happiness and love. If you spend all your strength on feeling anxious, uncertain, angry or stressed, these emotions will creep into every aspect of your life. We will end up relying on our spouse to buoy up our happiness level; but happiness needs to be a partnership. Prioritize happiness over these negative feelings.

Have a life

It may seem counterintuitive, but finding some happiness independently will really help your happiness in your marriage. Of course your marriage should make you happy, but you can't rely on one person for your complete happiness. Having friends and hobbies outside of your marriage will make you happy outside of your marriage as well.

Share your life

Sharing your life is what makes marriage a marriage! Finding some happiness outside of your marriage helps you be independently happy, but this commitment of marriage is about being happy together. Balance the things you do independently with things you do together. Find things you both like to do that are challenging and relaxing. Get to know each other in unique situations that will create memories for years to come. It may seem that happiness is all about the outward appearance, or can be purchased, but that's not the case. Happiness doesn't mean without conflict; it means choosing happiness over the stress and frustration that life can present.

This is a translation and adaptation of the original article "Ser amigos, amantes y esposes: el secreto de la pareja perfecta." It has been republished with permission.

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We all dream about finding our one true love. It's normal to want to be loved and to give love in return. The problem is that sometimes love sends mixed signals. Just because someone loves you doesn't mean you automatically love him back, and just because you are happy when you're with a person doesn't mean you've found love. As funny as it sounds, it's tricky knowing whether or not you are really in love.

Here are seven signs that let you know it really isn't love.

He gives you butterflies

Yes, feeling that excitement in your stomach can be a good sign, but it's also a sign of something else ... Your body naturally feels that "butterfly feeling" when you are nervous or anxious. Are you feeling a lovey-dovey kind of excitement, or are you anxious about what you will say or how your partner will react to you? Remember, butterflies don't always mean love.

He's a heartthrob

Sometimes, physical attraction can be mistaken for love. We have hormones for a reason, but they shouldn't be the foundation for a loving relationship. If you feel yourself crushing on your date's looks rather than focusing on his character and the way he talks to you, you might be mistaking a crush for love.

You feel better when you're with him

Of course it's a good sign that you feel great when you are with your sweetheart! This feeling might be a problem, however, if you find that you're depressed when you're on your own. If you can't appreciate your own value independently, don't be fooled into thinking someone else can fill that void. True love will make you feel amazing - when you are together and when you are on your own.

You live to please

While every good relationship does require sacrifice, being desperately dutiful does not equal true love. Your love should want to be with you the way you are, not because of the way you serve him. Don't confuse dependency with love.

You put on a face

Though you may think you love your sweetheart, if you aren't your true self when you're with him, it is not love. Love is about trust and honesty. Though it may feel like love, if you are putting on a face or being someone you're not, it's not real.

He's like so many other fish in the sea

If you are with a person you think you could replace, that's not love. Love is knowing that you have found someone unique, someone special, someone just for you. True love doesn't come a dime a dozen. If you think your next relationship could make you just as happy, you aren't in love.

You love who you think he is

It can be difficult knowing whether you're in love with a person or the idea of that person. If you find yourself loving him as he appears on paper (great job, high educational degree, traveler) instead of who he really is, then it's not true love. Love means loving the person as well as his achievements.

Don't let this list discourage you. Instead, let it guide you. Love means finding that one person who makes you feel like you belong - like there is no other place you could be happier. True love will last through life's adventures and upsets. It will be strong in the early days and in the later years. Love feels comfortable. It means being accepted. It is there through the good and bad.

Don't trick yourself into feeling something that isn't really love. True love is worth the wait.

This is a translation and adaptation of the original article, "7 señales que te avisan que no estás enamorada." It has been republished here with permission.

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Nobody has said that it is easy to accept that the person that we once loved has started his or her life over without us. It becomes complicated when it's the father of our children. It is hard to leave him out of our life.

It is important to remember that in order to have a full, healthy life, our children need a father and a mother. Separated and divorced parents must never assume that their children are separated or divorced from them. Mothers should understand that being a husband and a father are two different things. When you speak to your children you might think that you are speaking negatively about your ex-spouse, but in reality you are putting down their father.

Putting down your ex-spouse comes from a place of selfishness and cruelty. It affects the people that you most love, your children. It is your duty to provide them with a healthy physical and mental environment where they can have constant love, safety and harmony - one where resentment and negligence are absent.

You need to take two steps if handling your emotions and resentment toward your ex-spouse is overwhelming. The first step is accepting that you need help. The second step is to seek help immediately because the sooner you heal your pain, the easier it will be to avoid damaging your children's feelings.

If you don't do this, you will end up causing negative experiences, external bitterness and broken family bonds that go beyond the couple's relationship. If the children must ever judge their parents they should base their judgment on the role that their parents have played in their lives, rather than opinions instilled by the pain and frustration of the other parent.

Regardless of how you feel, you must teach your children to see the positive side of things so that they can accept changes easily. There is no doubt that it is a painful situation not only for them but also for the parents.

Some ways to help children keep a positive relationship with their father are:

• Make sure that they do not feel guilty because of the separation.

• Reassure them that mom and dad will always love them.

• Remember that having new people in the family only means that there are more people to love and to be loved.

• Don't refer to other children as "half siblings"� because this will only make your children feel that they are not a real part of the family.

• Avoid interrogating your children about your ex-spouse's private life.

• Avoid fighting in front of the children.

• Be flexible and negotiate.

• Avoid speaking negatively about your ex-spouse and his new family.

• Set aside individual time for your children.

• Allow your children to express their feelings without judging or limiting them. Do not allow them to feel pity for themselves.

• Avoid making your children feel guilty when they are with the other parent.

These recommendations alone will not magically solve all of the problems of a failed parental relationship. Nevertheless, they will decrease them and even though you are only one side of the story, at least you can feel peace that as a mother, you are doing everything in your power for your children's well-being.

*Translated and adapted by Anders Peterson from the original article "Mal esposo no es sinónimo de mal padre"� by Yordanka Pérez

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