Amy Peterson – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com Here today, better tomorrow. Thu, 10 Sep 2020 02:37:50 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.3 https://wp-media.familytoday.com/2020/03/favicon.ico Amy Peterson – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com 32 32 10 survival tips for when your spouse is away https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/10-survival-tips-for-when-your-spouse-is-away/ Sat, 28 Feb 2015 11:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/10-survival-tips-for-when-your-spouse-is-away/ Do you buckle under the pressure when your spouse is out of town? Use these 10 tips to survive the…

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Do you go into survival mode when your spouse is out of town? My husband has been working out of town for six months now, and while I'm grateful he gets to come visit once a month, I've also learned how to manage the duties of both parents at once. Here are my top 10 survival tips for the next time you're on your own.

1. Simplify

The first month my husband was gone, I made the mistake of trying to keep everything just how it was. I soon learned that I couldn't keep up. Simplifying my daily schedule by eliminating some activities has helped me to cope with life on my own. I've had to cut back on good things, like volunteering, but I know it's only temporary.

2. Prepare

When you're on your own, preparation goes a long way. Plan simple meals, use evenings to prep for the next day's events and try to stay organized. If you need help carpooling to activities or a babysitter for something you can't miss, plan ahead so you're covered.

3. Accept help

I've had generous offers of help from my friends and family to help with the kids for play dates and carpooling. The weekends are very lonely for me, and offers to have dinner with friends are very welcome. Don't try to do everything on your own. Accept the kind offers from others to help.

4. Plan for fun

Sometimes, I feel like a drill sergeant as I order the kids to do homework, make their lunches, practice piano and get to bed! It's good for me and my children when we squeeze in some fun. We like family game nights and movie nights best, and we just spent a great day at the beach together. Even if it's just a late night treat or a trip to the park, make fun part of your plan.

5. Get your sleep

I have great respect for long-term single parents. It is tiring work to parent on your own. To survive life without your spouse, make sleep a priority. I used to enjoy the quiet hour after all the kids were in bed, but now I try to get to bed earlier so I can be happy and well-rested for the next day. Midafternoon power naps help too.

6. Find downtime

I used to always look forward to evenings when our family was together and my husband could help with homework, activities, baths and bedtime. Now that I'm on the clock as the go-to parent 24 hours a day, I have to be creative about when I get my downtime. I try to read and relax while my youngest is at preschool, and I send myself to bed early after making sure the bigger kids are settled for the night. Find pockets of time to recharge so you can be your best self for your family.

7. Let some things go

You can't do it all when you're on your own. I've realized some household chores are going to have to wait until my husband comes home. Look at your life and see what can be put off or ignored for a while so you feel less stress while you're managing things alone. Projects, extra activities and other things that make life complicated need to go.

8. Keep in touch, but don't complain

Maintaining a relationship long distance can be difficult. Sometimes, I begin to feel resentful that my husband is away, but we are both working to make our family's future better. I try not to complain too much to him since there is little he can do to help me when he's three time zones away. Both spouses need to be willing to support each other when together and apart.

9. Accept reality

Reality is that I'm the one tucking in the 4-year-old at 4:15 in the morning when she's had a bad dream. Reality is dinner thrown together at 6:15 in between piano lessons and homework. Sometimes, the reality of being on your own is frustrating, but it can also be empowering. You can manage life. Your kids can be happy and well-adjusted even without two parents around. Generally, spouses are away for a set amount of time. Gear up for that time and know it's only temporary.

10. Go easy on yourself

This general rule applies to many of the tips listed above. If you don't get everything done, it's OK. You're doing the best you can, sometimes in difficult circumstances.

It's rarely easy to be without your partner. Whether your spouse is gone for four days or four months, these tips can help you survive the separation and stay connected to your kids and your spouse.

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5 things worth slowing down for https://www.familytoday.com/family/5-things-worth-slowing-down-for/ Mon, 16 Feb 2015 13:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/5-things-worth-slowing-down-for/ What if the key to having a more fulfilling life is to slow down, not speed up? Learn to live…

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A new movement is creeping across the globe. Begun as a grassroots effort to combat busy modern life, the Slow Movement embraces taking life at the right pace and learning to savor food, relationships and experiences. Life is more meaningful when you are mindful. Here are five things worth slowing down for. Read on - at your own leisurely pace.

Family mealtime

It's often a rush to get dinner on the table, but once my family is all sitting together, I like to pause and talk about our day. No matter how simple the fare, from leftovers or frozen pizza to homemade soup with bread, take time to linger over a meal together.

Give each family member a chance to talk about the highs and lows of the day. Bring up topics of interest for the whole family, ask questions and discuss current events. I cherish meals when we make silly toasts with our water cups and chat long after our plates are empty.

Intimacy

Extended time with your spouse can be a rare thing. Sometimes, a few moments together are all you have. When you set aside time to be together, don't rush it. Affection, communication and sex are all important. When you put aside everything else and focus on your partner, your relationship is strengthened. Women sometimes need time to relax and leave the day behind in order to focus on intimacy. Take advantage of time to express feelings of love and build each other up.

Phone calls

There are so many ways to communicate: email, text, social media, on the phone and face-to-face. And yet, we often rush through our moments with each other, dashing off a text or saying, "Let's catch up soon." Don't let "soon" become never. Slow down and make the effort to connect with those you love.

I don't live in the same city as any of my family members, so I value phone calls to my siblings and parents. Taking time to talk and listen, keeping in mind good communication skills, helps maintain the most important relationships.

Daily life

No matter how busy your life is, you have time to slow down for a few minutes each day. Take the dog (or the toddler) for a walk and enjoy observing your neighborhood. Wake up a few minutes early to enjoy the solitude and focus on the things you want to accomplish. Take a moment to hug your children a few seconds longer, really listen as they tell you about what's on their minds, or snuggle in bed as you read stories together.

If you take time to make a delicious meal, make time to enjoy it. Turn away from your computer screen to rest your eyes, stretch and take a break. And if you have the time for a quick nap or a rest in the afternoon, consider yourself very lucky. Life moves at a frantic pace, but you can choose to slow down and pause throughout the day.

Prayer and meditation

If you are a spiritual person, you've probably discovered the value in setting aside time each day for prayer, study and communion with a higher power. My day goes much better when I start it with prayer.

If this concept is new to you, consider taking a few moments each day to meditate. You can begin by merely focusing on your breath and trying to tune out everything else around you, even your own thoughts. Many people choose to meditate using mantras to focus their thoughts. This time to slow down and think is invaluable.

I often reflect back on an experience I had at the end of summer. I was sitting on a dock by a beautiful mountain lake. My friend and I were savoring the last rays of sun, waiting to leave the dock until the sun disappeared behind the trees, taking with it the warmth and light of long summer days. As the sun began to set, my first instinct was to rush to gather my kids and all our things, but my friend encouraged me to sit and linger. I'm so glad she did. Like the Slow Movement suggests, the best things in life are worth taking time for.

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The 7 most effective ways to battle chronic headaches https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/the-7-most-effective-ways-to-battle-chronic-headaches/ Thu, 12 Feb 2015 16:00:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/the-7-most-effective-ways-to-battle-chronic-headaches/ Tired of daily headaches? Learn some new tricks to get rid of that pesky pain.

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Dealing with chronic headaches is a big pain - literally. If you're tired of taking medicine every time you feel a headache coming on, here are seven lesser known ways to make that pain in your head disappear.

Hydrate

Whenever I feel a headache coming on, I immediately drink a large glass of water (or two) and wait a few minutes. Medical studies have shown that headaches are a sign of mild dehydration. Drink water throughout the day, starting with a large glass right when you wake up. Keep a water bottle with you in the car, at your desk, when you exercise and as you eat your meals. Add lemon or lime if you get tired of just plain water. Avoid too many sugary drinks.

Pressure points

There are various pressure points on your body that are known to relieve headaches. I've tried a few with good success. One is the fleshy part of your hand between your thumb and forefinger. With your other thumb and forefinger, press firmly on the pressure point for several seconds. Repeat several times as necessary. Rubbing your temples, the base of your neck, the bridge of your nose and between your first and second toes might also work. Experiment with various combinations until you find relief.

Inhale relief

Aromatherapy has been used for centuries for many reasons. Using essential oils is a natural way to get headache relief. Peppermint oil, which is easily found in a store that carries natural foods, can be very effective. To inhale the scent, put two drops on a cotton ball in your hand and breathe in deeply for a few minutes. You can also diffuse the oil if you have a diffuser for this purpose.

Peppermint essential oil can be applied topically, but it needs to be diluted in a carrier oil (like apricot kernel or jojoba oil) so as not to irritate the skin. When applied to the neck or temples, this mixture can help stop a headache. A naturopath or aromatherapist can give you good advice on blending other oils and using essential oils safely. Some are not recommended for pregnant women or children.

Consider your caffeine use

If you are a heavy caffeine user, your headache may be due to caffeine abuse or missing your daily dose. Keep track of how often you drink coffee, tea, energy drinks or caffeinated soda. If you find yourself getting a headache and craving an afternoon caffeine pick-me-up, you may have a problem. It's fairly easy to wean yourself off of caffeine by cutting back, but you will have a headache for a few days as your body adjusts.

Eat regularly

Chronic headaches can be caused by hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar. If you have a headache but also feel shaky, hungry and irritable, pause and think when you last had a good, healthful meal. Even though your body feels like it needs a jolt of sugar, make sure you add in some protein as well.

If I'm having a hypoglycemic episode, I sometimes drink some orange juice or eat a banana, but I also have a spoonful of peanut butter or a string cheese to bring my blood sugar back up. Eating regular meals and snacks that are full of fiber, protein and complex carbs will keep both hypoglycemia and headaches at bay.

Loosen up

Another source of chronic headaches is tension in the neck and shoulders. The remedy for this is quite relaxing: get a massage. If your neck is very tight and painful or your mobility is limited, consider seeing a physical therapist to learn how to stretch and strengthen your neck so you don't hold tension there.

Many people have jobs where they sit at desks all day. Take a few minutes each hour to look at something besides your computer screen. This will reduce headaches caused by eye strain. You can also do simple stretches and loosening exercises to keep your neck, shoulders and back from getting stiff. Consider using an ergonomic chair and adjusting your desk area for minimum strain on your body.

Get some rest

It's hard to get out of bed and keep moving each day when you are tired. Even though it's often easier said than done, getting enough rest will help you get rid of your headaches. Many people benefit from a short nap in the afternoon. I perfected the eight-minute power nap in college and have been a fan ever since. If you get chronic headaches associated with being overtired, make sleep a high priority. Your overall health will improve greatly if you get enough sleep.

If you're someone who deals with chronic headaches, it's time to take action. Some headaches need to be brought to the attention of your doctor, particularly if you experience extreme pain, nausea and visual disturbances. For less severe but equally bothersome chronic headaches, find the source of your headaches and then seek a solution. Your body will thank you.

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20 fun ways to love your sweetie this Valentine’s Day https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/20-fun-ways-to-love-your-sweetie-this-valentines-day/ Sat, 07 Feb 2015 16:00:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/20-fun-ways-to-love-your-sweetie-this-valentines-day/ Need a little Valentine's Day inspiration? It's OK. We're here to help!

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Want to "wow" your beloved with several surprises on Valentine's Day? Here's a list of 20 awesome ideas to get you started. And if you want to spread the love, make your sweetie feel extra special with a whole week of heartfelt gestures.

1. Breakfast in bed

Choose your sweetie's favorite breakfast foods and deliver a tray full of deliciousness right to bed. Add a flower and a note to make it extra special. Letting him or her sleep is a bonus!

2. Text love bombs

Send several texts throughout the day. Some can be funny, some romantic. Text a line of a love poem every hour until you've sent the whole poem. Make a list of the qualities you love most about your sweetheart and send them one by one. Here are 52 text message love bombs you can drop - standard messaging rates apply.

3. Count the ways you love him/her

Using a pad of sticky notes or simply a piece of paper, make a numbered list of the ways you love your partner. If you use sticky notes, place them all over the house (including some hidden places), or deliver the list in a creative way.

4. A heartfelt, handwritten love letter

In an age where even emails are giving way to texts, write a letter by hand on nice paper and deliver it to your sweetie. It will be a keepsake he or she will treasure.

5. Heart attack

Give a healthy heart attack by placing hearts with sayings and affirmations on a door, window or mirror where your sweetheart will be sure to spot them. For more detailed instructions, click here.

6. Special delivery

Getting mail is always fun! A special delivery could be flowers sent through a florist, a card that arrives via the mailbox, a package placed on a doorstep or a singing telegram.

7. Handmade gift

I love giving and getting handmade gifts. Scour sites like Pinterest for ideas for bath salts, lotion, jewelry, food or artwork that you can make and give. Your sweetheart will appreciate the personal touch and effort you put into the perfect handmade gift.

8. Wish list gift

My husband and I have running "wish lists" of gifts we'd like to receive for various occasions. Keeping your finances in mind, surprise your partner with a gift he or she would truly love to receive.

9. Romantic dinner

Whether you make it yourself or go out to eat, a well-planned romantic dinner is always appreciated. If you can't leave the house, consider having a dinner with the whole family or waiting until the kids are asleep to eat together. Late night dessert can be very romantic as well.

10. Workplace surprise

Bring something special to your sweetheart at work, or have something delivered. Ideas include lunch, balloons, flowers or a treat.

11. The gift of touch

Offer a foot or shoulder massage after a long day of work. Give a gift card for a professional massage if your partner would enjoy that treat. Use scented candles or massage oil to increase the romantic atmosphere.

12. Favorite things

My husband knows I love chocolate, ice cream, books and fancy soaps. His favorite things include gourmet sodas, cured meats and watching sports. Present your sweetie with a few of his favorite things to let him know he's your favorite.

13. Servant for a day

Do everything you can to make your spouse's day easier. Take the kids, do the dishes, make and serve meals, and let her take the day off. Busy stay-at-home moms will really appreciate this one.

14. Old standbys

If it's worked in the past, try it again. Have another picnic in the park, watch a movie you both loved or cook a favorite dinner. The nostalgia you feel will bring back the original feelings of love.

15. Time together

Sometimes the best gift is time together. Plan an outing to do something you both enjoy or try something new. Cook a dinner together and then enjoy it by candlelight. If you have time, take an overnight trip to a romantic hotel or send the kids away for a sleepover with grandma.

16. "Rain check"

Once, when my husband and I were first dating, I hurt his feelings by not making time for him when I didn't realize he'd planned something special. To make it up to him, I made a few rain checks for future dates together.

If you don't have time or money to show your partner love in the way you'd like, give him or her a rain check with the promise of a future gift or occasion together. I'd like a rain check for a trip to Paris with my husband, and I'm willing to wait.

17. Memory lane

It's fun to remember the first few years of marriage, the time you dated or were engaged, and the details of how you fell in love. Gather old photographs or put together a slide show of photos with music and effects to show your sweetie how much your time together means to you.

18. Photo gift

There are so many clever gifts based on photographs. You can make a photo book of your favorite photos together, create calendars, mugs, clothing, puzzles and many other options. Visit websites like Shutterfly, Vistaprint and Snapfish (to name just a few) and get inspired.

19. Heart-inspired meal

Go all out on a Valentine's Day themed meal. Search the Web for ideas - from heart-shaped pancakes to edible bacon roses.

20. Love language special

Do you know your sweetheart's love language? If you don't, try to figure it out. When you do, think of something you can do that speaks to the ways he or she most feels loved. Many of the ideas listed above touch on several of the five love languages.

Sometimes it can be stressful to think of the perfect way to show your sweetheart love on Valentine's Day. Don't stress. Find inspiration from one of these ideas, put in a little thought and effort, and your sweetheart will feel loved and cherished this Valentine's Day and always.

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7 things you can do to be more lovable https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/7-things-you-can-do-to-be-more-lovable/ Mon, 02 Feb 2015 21:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/7-things-you-can-do-to-be-more-lovable/ Just in time for Valentine's Day, increase your lovable status! It's easy and rewarding.

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Feeling less than lovable lately? It's not a permanent situation. Follow these seven easy ideas and you'll definitely spread love while becoming more lovable yourself.

Don't complain

A complainer often sucks all the energy and love out of a situation. Everyone has hard things in their lives, and everyone has reasons to complain. When you do need to let off steam, choose carefully whom you vent to, and try not to be negative all the time. Seeing life, even trials, in a more positive light will make you easier to get along with and easier to love.

Listen

I read an interesting quote the other day that made me pause and consider my own listening skills. Stephen R. Covey is quoted as saying, "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." Truly listening to others and striving to empathize with them will help you understand and love others more. In turn, you will become more lovable.

Smile

A well-known adage says "a smile is a light in the window to the soul." You have a beautiful, lovable soul. Let it shine by smiling. When you smile, you open yourself up to conversation, friendship, love or simply a smile in return. My husband says one of the first things he noticed and loved about me was my smile. If you're not a natural smiler, make an effort to smile more. It takes less effort than frowning.

Be friendly

Being friendly goes right along with smiling. I have a friend who is genuinely happy, caring and friendly. Want to know what people say about her when she's not around? I hear, "I just love her." When you are friendly and caring, people will gravitate toward you. Be careful not to be taken advantage of, but find happiness as you interact with friends and strangers.

Give affection

My sweet youngest daughter loves to pepper me with kisses, exclaiming over and over, "I love you, Mommy." I can't help but love her right back. Humans need contact. Even if you didn't grow up giving or receiving a lot of affection, you can become a person who expresses love through hugs and other affection. Many times, an unexpected hug from a friend has made me feel better, and sharing affection with my husband is an important part of our relationship.

Be thoughtful

My daughter asked me to make her a sandwich for her lunch. I decided to make her whole lunch and include a note - even though she's in high school. A friend of mine picked my daughter up from preschool and asked if she could bring some dinner over on a day I was feeling sick and my husband was out of town. Thoughtful gestures like these show love. When I get a sweet or romantic text from my husband, my love for him grows. Find ways to be thoughtful as you show love and you'll get love in return.

Be yourself

Most children are taught from a young age to value their identities and self-worth. Sometimes, as people strive to be well-liked by others, they try to become what they perceive others would like them to be. You are lovable just as you are. Each person has individual traits, talents, quirks and abilities that make him or her unique. Develop your good qualities and remember to be yourself. You are enough.

Many of these ways to be more lovable include showing love to others. Brush up on your kindness and loving skills and you'll find yourself surrounded by people who love you.

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Is anxiety meddling with your life in these 5 ways? https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/is-anxiety-meddling-with-your-life-in-these-5-ways/ Wed, 28 Jan 2015 08:00:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/is-anxiety-meddling-with-your-life-in-these-5-ways/ When everyday stress starts to manifest as anxiety, your well-being is compromised. Have you reached that point?

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Too often, stress is a synonym for a busy life. But while stress is often triggered by situations in life, feelings of anxiety happen as a reaction to stress. Does anxiety affect your life in any of these five ways?

Health

Too much stress puts you in constant fight-or-flight mode. Cortisol levels are elevated and your immune system is lowered. Symptoms of stress include headaches, sleep problems, mood issues and stomach problems. While all stress is not bad, too much compromises health and can lead to problems with anxiety disorders.

Regular exercise, eating well and learning stress management techniques can help you mitigate the effects of stress on your health. Find an effective way to relax and use it when you feel stressed. Taking a few deep breaths or a short walk outside can help you to calm down immediately, sending good hormones throughout your body.

Relationships

When you are under stress, your relationships may suffer. If I'm feeling stressed, I'm not as patient with my children as I'd like to be, and I don't show my husband enough love or kindness. Long-term stress over things like job security and finances can put a strain on relationships.

Both partners in a relationship need to be supportive and communicative, even during difficult times. Be willing to discuss issues and give support as needed. You might also need to make an effort to put your worries aside for a time as you maintain your relationships. Sometimes, I need to forget about a problem for a while so I can feel less stress and more love.

Life activities

For some people, phobias and anxiety disorders make life very difficult. If you find yourself unable to complete normal daily activities due to stress or feelings of anxiousness, it's time to seek help from a doctor.

Most people have days when they'd just rather stay in bed. When life gets overwhelming, clear your schedule as much as possible and try to relax. If you have no option but to work and keep going, try to find a little happiness in every day. Choosing a mantra or inspirational thought to guide you may help.

Sleep

When you're not getting enough sleep, it's hard to function. Sometimes stress and anxiety make sleeping difficult which then compromises your mood and health during the daytime. I've been the college student studying all night, the person working the late shift, the new mother with a baby who just won't sleep and the concerned parent whose mind won't turn off. The solution? Develop good sleep habits that you can follow most of the time, including learning to put anxious feelings to rest so you can get some rest.

Enjoyment

My husband teases me that I can't relax if the house isn't picked up or something seems out of order. While I do have tendencies toward Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I've also learned to let things go so I can enjoy life. When stress and anxiety take all the fun out of living, you must make a change or find someone who can help you make a change.

Life is challenging, but it is also meant to be enjoyed. Happy people are healthy people who are able to help others be happy too. Unfortunately, anxiety and stress are part of life. But when your anxiety is manifesting itself in unhealthy ways like panic attacks, severe mood swings, depression or severe health issues, seek help from a doctor. Your well-being is important.

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Great tips on how to make friends with other moms https://www.familytoday.com/family/great-tips-on-how-to-make-friends-with-other-moms/ Tue, 27 Jan 2015 08:00:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/great-tips-on-how-to-make-friends-with-other-moms/ Feeling isolated as a mother? You need more friends! Follow these 5 simple tips and make new friends.

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Motherhood is a unique stage of life. As a mother, I've felt simultaneously busy and lonely. Sometimes life with kids forces friendships to the bottom of your priority list. Moms need friends, too. Don't let your friendships disappear just because you've got kids. Read on for five ways to make friends.

Ask questions and listen

When you're with other moms, get to know them by asking questions, listening and being friendly and open. Soon you'll find people you connect with. If you're always talking about yourself, or too shy or distracted to engage, you'll miss opportunities to meet new friends. I've found friends at the park, sports practices, through other friends, at church and at my children's schools. Often I've had to initiate the first introductions, but soon the conversation flows both ways.

Try something new

I was recently invited to go paint pottery with a group of moms from my daughter's school. We'd never done anything social without our daughters, so I was a little nervous. I ended up spending an enjoyable evening doing something new while making better friends with mothers I see often at school.

If you're really interested in making friends, you may have to get outside your comfort zone. Take a class at the gym, volunteer for the PTA, sign up for a class at a community center and learn to introduce yourself to people.

Be supportive

You will have to be a good friend to have good friends. Everyone knows one person who only talks about herself and all her problems. Don't be that person. I've made friends with moms as we've watched each other's children and exchanged dinners. I have a good friend I haven't lived near in a decade, but I always know I can call her if I need a listening ear. If you are a caring, compassionate person, you can be a great friend.

Grab lunch

Moms don't always have time to socialize so getting together for lunch is a great option to connect. Take the kids to a restaurant with a play structure, sneak in a quick lunch out while the kids are still in school, meet at the park for lunch al fresco or invite a few moms over for a potluck lunch feast at your house.

When my husband was in graduate school in Michigan, weekly lunches with a group of moms was the highlight of everyone's week. It was total chaos as we tried to feed babies and keep toddlers from stealing toys, but the friendships I developed over yummy salads and homemade bread are some of the most dear to me.

Girls' night out

Date night doesn't always have to be with your significant other. For single and attached moms, girls' night out is a great way to leave the stress of motherhood and work behind. Go out for dinner, see a movie, try something new (like painting pottery), attend a play or have a game night. Don't be afraid to plan events. Often, people want to get together but don't have the motivation to be in charge. If you would like to get to know some new friends, create opportunities.

As you go about making friends, don't discount friendships with single women or women who are not your same age. I enjoy having friends in their 20s and friends in their 60s. While having a supportive group of friends who understand motherhood and parenting is helpful, you'll be missing out on meaningful relationships and priceless friendships if you limit yourself to people just like you.

Mothers worry about their children's friendships and work to teach their kids to be good friends. Now apply that know-how in your own life and go make some new friends.

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Finally ready to kick that smoking habit? It’s time https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/finally-ready-to-kick-that-smoking-habit-its-time/ Sat, 24 Jan 2015 21:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/finally-ready-to-kick-that-smoking-habit-its-time/ If you're ready to give up smoking, be smart about it. These seven tips will help.

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Are you resolved to quit smoking? Good for you! Smoking is an addictive habit that wreaks havoc on the body. Not only are cigarettes full of ingredients that are harmful - including 70 that are known to cause cancer - but smoking is bad for the environment and for people who are around smokers. If you're determined to quit but don't know where to start, let these seven tips be a starting place for the new, smoke-free you.

1. Do your research

There are many ways to stop smoking. You can try nicotine replacement therapy, stopping on your own, prescription drugs and holistic methods like acupuncture and hypnosis. There is abundant information online at websites like cancer.org to help you learn the best way for you to quit.

2. Make a plan

Once you've done your research, make a plan. Will you begin tapering off cigarettes, completely stop, or use replacements like gum, patches or lozenges? Write your plan down and be realistic about what you can do. If you've had a long habit of smoking and are strongly addicted to nicotine, it will take time to fully quit. Include in your plan the reason you are quitting. Let that reason be your focus as you move forward.

3. Get support

Quitting smoking is hard. Withdrawal symptoms can include cravings, headache, restlessness and sleep problems. Enlist the help of loving family members and friends to help you through the first few weeks of your smoking cessation. Your support system can help you when you're craving a cigarette or not feeling well. If you know someone who has been successful in stopping smoking, get his or her advice and support.

4. Replace your habit

Habits are hard to break. If you wake up each morning craving your first cigarette of the day, you'll need to find a distraction right away. Do a few stress-relieving yoga poses or go for a short walk. If you find you need to keep your hands busy, take up a new hobby like crocheting, cooking, woodworking or learning an instrument. It will take a conscious effort to stop smoking at the times you used to. You may want to avoid drinking and other situations where you used to smoke.

5. See your doctor

Your doctor can be a good source of information about the reasons to stop smoking and the ways to be successful. He or she can also prescribe drugs that might help you quit. If you experience health problems due to smoking, like emphysema or heart issues, you should see a doctor for treatment. Your doctor might also be able to refer you to social services in your area to help you as you try to quit smoking.

6. Be prepared for setbacks

If you've been smoking a long time, or if you smoke a lot, quitting will be difficult. Most addictions are hard to overcome, so don't expect quitting to be easy. Try to stick to your plan for quitting, remember the reasons you are trying to quit and don't let setbacks deter you from trying again. I had a friend who said she was quitting smoking for the first four years I knew her. She finally overcame her addiction and is happy to be smoke-free, but it took several attempts before she was successful.

7. Reward yourself

People are motivated by incentives. As you make your plan to stop smoking, plan some rewards for yourself along the way. These can be very small things - like a celebratory dinner after a month of not smoking or your favorite treat after your first week of no cigarettes. Your support system of friends and family can also help motivate you and reward you, so include them in the process.

People who don't smoke live longer and have healthier bodies. Become part of this group as you follow these seven smart tips to quit smoking. You can overcome your bad habit.

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5 habits that will make you live longer https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/5-habits-that-will-make-you-live-longer/ Thu, 08 Jan 2015 16:00:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/5-habits-that-will-make-you-live-longer/ Want to live a longer, happier life? Start doing these five things.

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Humans are living longer than ever, with an average life expectancy for Americans at 78 years. While living to an old age is not guaranteed, there are some habits you can acquire which will increase your life span and make the life you live a happy one. Here are five to consider:

Laugh - a lot

I recently read a diet and lifestyle book that prescribed daily laughter along with eating healthy foods and avoiding sugar. The science behind laughter as a health benefit is fascinating. According to an article from Psychology Today, laughter can reduce pain and blood sugar levels, restore emotional stability between people and, remarkably, help your blood vessels function better - which is good for your head and your heart.

Good sources of laughter include playing with children, reading humorous books, watching comedies and playing party games. People who laugh are happier, making life more enjoyable.

Heal your body with rest

Sleep is a powerful force. Scientists believe sleep lets the neurons in the brain recover from the work they do during the day. Growth hormones are released during sleep, which is why children sleep longer when they are going through growth spurts. Lack of sleep is linked to greater risk for many diseases, including heart disease, diabetes and obesity.

When you allow your body enough time to sleep, you will notice increased energy, mental focus and a better mood. People need varying amounts of sleep, so find what works for you and make sleep a priority in your life.

Give water a chance

Water is essential for every living thing on the earth. In modern life, it's easy to take the availability of water for granted. If you have clean, potable water coming out of a faucet in your home, you are very lucky. This "elixir of life" regulates your body temperature, helps remove waste, fortifies cells and organs and keeps you feeling invigorated. It's the beverage people should choose to drink most often.

If you get tired of plain water, try adding lemon, lime or other citrus. Drink sparkling water or make your own infusions with mint, cucumber and lemon. You can get some hydration from other beverages like fruit juices and tea, but make water your main drink of choice and avoid added sugar and chemicals.

Slow down

There's a new movement sweeping the globe, but it's not happening quickly. It's called The Slow Movement, and its purpose is to encourage people to slow down and connect with people, food, places and life. This movement is a direct result of the stress that life places on all of us. Stress is a cause of many undesirable physical symptoms like headache, fatigue, muscle pain and stomach problems, and it can lead to health issues such as high blood pressure, heart disease and obesity.

It's hard to get rid of stress. Slowing down and finding time to relax can seem impossible. Take small steps. Learn deep breathing techniques. Practice a few yoga poses. Turn off all electronics at least 30 minutes before bed, and schedule some down time into your day.

Move and groove

Not everyone is an Olympic athlete, but everyone does need to exercise. A good rule of thumb is 30 minutes a day which can be broken into smaller chunks. We've all heard the advice to take the stairs, park farther away from buildings and take a quick walk after lunch or dinner. If you can't make it to the gym or don't have time to go for a run, those tips are practical and helpful.

The secret to enjoying (or at least tolerating) exercise is to choose something you enjoy. For example, a friend of mine loves to hike with her dogs, but you'd never find her in a spin class. I love to run and lift weights, and my husband prefers team sports. Whatever regimen you choose, try to include exercises that promote endurance, balance, flexibility and strength.

Life should be enjoyable, and good health is an important factor in a happy life. As you make these five habits part of each day, you'll live a longer, more fulfilling life.

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One trait that will destroy your marriage https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/one-trait-that-will-destroy-your-marriage/ Wed, 07 Jan 2015 18:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/one-trait-that-will-destroy-your-marriage/ There's a trait that research has shown destroys relationships. Avoid it, or your marriage will suffer.

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If you knew that researchers had discovered a characteristic that dooms relationships, you'd do everything in your power to avoid developing that trait, right?

Well, they have.

Marriage researcher, Dr. John Gottman, a well-known psychologist who has written many books about marriage and relationships, has compiled years of research and identified traits that ruin relationships.

The worst of these detrimental traits is the antithesis of kindness and generosity: contempt. Contempt can be defined as lack of respect - regarding something as worthless or inferior.

How does contempt look in a relationship?

You show contempt for your partner when you roll your eyes during a conversation, think you are superior, disregard your spouse's opinion or insult your spouse. Contempt is destructive. When you raise yourself above your partner and let him or her know it, generally through nonverbal clues, you show contempt.

The word "disgust" is often used as a synonym for contempt. It's not hard to imagine how difficult it would be for a relationship to thrive if one or both partners felt disgust for the other.

The role of sarcasm

Although contempt is often nonverbal, couples need to be aware of how sarcasm contributes to feelings of contempt among spouses. Sarcasm often includes facial expressions like sneering and scowling, both signs of contempt. Sarcasm cuts deeper than face-to-face criticism because it is more subtle.

Get rid of contempt

How do you keep your relationship free from this marriage killer? First, practice kindness and generosity. Doing so will allow feelings of frustration to recede, leaving no room for contempt to creep in. One of the best ways to be generous is to be forgiving and nonjudgmental, assuming the best about your partner.

Next, fortify your relationship with love. Listen closely when your partner speaks. Try to anticipate his or her needs, and then work to meet those needs. Put your partner's needs above your own. If things are difficult between you and your spouse, learn to communicate respectfully, and seek outside help if necessary. For more on this, read "10 tips to promote healthy communication in your marriage."

After several years of marriage, my husband and I have had our share of arguments. We've also had countless experiences together that have brought us closer. Now that I know the danger of contempt in my marriage, I'm going to make a conscious effort to stay clear of it.

If you find your marriage has fallen victim to contempt, work to get your marriage out of that rut. With kindness and generosity as a goal, your marriage can be "contempt-free."

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