I'd seen the show before: Some homeowner finds a painting in the attic, or a teapot in the garage, and wonders if it has any value. She waits in line to talk to an expert who can evaluate what the "antique" is worth - or at least what it might sell for at an auction. The thrill is when the lamp is a Tiffany or the painting is an original Monet - what are the chances? The owner is delighted and admits that it had been stashed in a corner, maybe with last year's preschool art projects piled on top of it.

But this time I was watching the show in an attempt to take my mind off my current situation. See, an emergency appendectomy 10 days before Christmas hadn't been part of my holiday plans. Recovery meant time in bed and no driving for six weeks, not to mention taking it easy on the bending and lifting. Did I mention Christmas was in 10 days? If there was ever an inconvenient time, this was it. Worst of all were the feelings of being an inadequate mom.

Enter "Antiques Roadshow."

Somewhere between the Tang Dynasty marble lion that brought tears to the appraiser's eyes and the $60,000 Eskimo hunting helmet someone snagged at a flea market, I started to see a pattern.

I'd been lumping myself together with the laundry pile and last month's junk mail - and why wouldn't I, when I felt as equally unmovable and unproductive? I wasn't a bad mom, but I felt like I was an ineffective mom. I knew I loved my children, but I couldn't do much, could I? And if temporary disability didn't affect my self-appraisal, then surely the "mom routine" could. What's to value with Cheerios stuck in my hair? How important can I feel when a child is kicking my shins because I'm trying to dress her in anything other than last year's Halloween costume?

And society at large isn't any more helpful. Rarely have I seen media messages even hint, much less portray, mothers for what they are: indispensable, vital, strong.

1. Know my worth

Here is where I imagined for a moment that the next item up for appraisal on "Antiques Roadshow" was a mom.

"This is a Tamara Passey original. She has a wonderful New England influence from the 70s. Notice the fine smile lines - evidence of the happiness she radiates to those around her. It looks like she's in decent condition, indicating the amount of dedication she's demonstrated to family and friends. What we know about this MOTHER is that she possesses listening abilities not readily seen by the untrained eye. Her value: priceless."

2. Be my authentic self

In other words, copies are never as good as the original.

I can readily recognize the disappointment in the owner's eyes when he learns his hoped-for-masterpiece is a copy; an imitation. This concept is easily understood in art. Though imitations and copies can sometimes fetch handsome sums, the place and value of the original is unparalleled. It is almost hard to watch the expert gently explain to the owner that his piece is worth far less than he had hoped, solely because it was not the work of a master, but was instead a cheaper copy.

Is it possible that I experience similar disappointment when I spend enormous amounts of energy and time trying to be as good as, or better than, someone else? I become much more confident when I spend half as much effort on being my best self, sharing the gifts and talents only I can give. My love is more authentic. It's not forced or frustrating.

3. Love accordingly

No question about it ā€” I take better care of myself when I know my value. I eat nutritiously; I exercise without criticizing myself. I allow myself to take breaks for reading or baths, because I know I need the rejuvenation.

Does that really make me a better mother? Maybe not any single one of those things alone, but added together, certainly.

When I know how valuable my work is as a mother, I take care of myself. I am a healthier woman - and a happier, better mother.

Editor's note: This article is adapted from "Mothering through the Whirlwind." It has been republished here with permission.

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Regardless of the severity of the illness or whether it is temporary or permanent, here are five things you can do to cope with the news of your child's illness or condition.

Do reach out

Talking to other people who understand what you are going through can ease a lot of worry. For most conditions or illnesses there are support groups that can offer the opportunity to meet and talk to other people who may know what you are feeling.

Do become educated

Learning all you can from reputable sources can help you worry less and empower you to properly care for your child. This doesn't mean you need to understand everything about their condition all at once. However, as your child's advocate, gaining knowledge about their condition helps you ask appropriate questions and understand the available treatments.

Do allow yourself time to grieve

If your child has enjoyed full health prior to the diagnosis, grief is a normal response to that loss and working through the grief can take time. Don't be surprised if you feel shock, anger and sadness. "Going through the grieving process is the best way to cope with a ... diagnosis. By giving yourself, your child, and your family permission to grieve, you will be able to cope." For more information, check the Health Library.

Don't try to live your child's life in one day

We learned our daughter would be born with a cleft lip and palate during a routine ultrasound. I soon learned she would need at least two surgeries to repair her lip and mouth once she was born. I also learned most children with cleft lip and palate can have recurring ear infections and require speech therapy, as well as need extensive orthodontic treatment. No wonder I felt overwhelmed! When a child is born "healthy," we don't tell parents, "She'll break her leg at age 4, need glasses when she'sĀ 6 and want to carry her blanket into every public place!" We take our children as they come, one day at a time.

Do celebrate your child

Remember they are more than their illness or condition. Look for ways to acknowledge their unique talents and gifts as well as show them how important they are to you. Even when the diagnosis is of a life threatening condition, you can create fun "time-outs" for you and your child. When my son was in the hospital I brought in a music player to the hospital to counteract the noise of IV pumps. I also took time for stories so his entire day was not spent with medical tests. "You must always look at your child like the first day you found out that you were becoming a parent. Have that same joy inside of you, and your child flourishes," says Kami Evans, My Child Has Special Needs.

It can be a difficult time when your child receives a diagnosis. Reaching out and learning about the illness can help ease the worry. Allowing time to grieve and accepting the changes one day at a time can provide peace. Remembering your child is more than their condition can help you to celebrate their life.

The post 5 ways to cope with a child’s diagnosis appeared first on FamilyToday.

Cultivate love daily

If love is like a garden, then it needs food to grow. Think of these simple actions as the water and sunlight your marriage needs to keep love blooming.

1. Pray for your spouse.

2. Only say kind things about your spouse to your children, family, and friends: Even if your spouse never knows what you've said, doing so will strengthen your feelings for him or her.

3. Be loyal in your thoughts: Merillee Boyack explains in her book Strangling Your Husband Is Not an Option, the dangers of "wistfully thinking of prior flames or comparing ... spouses to other [people] and constantly finding them wanting. Both are disloyal. Both are dangerous."

Bring your best self to the marriage every day

When we feel our best physically, it helps our mental and emotional well-being. It also facilitates positive interaction with others, including spouses.

1. Exercise: Think of the benefits to marriage when partners have increased serotonin levels, good muscle tone, more energy, less stress, and greater self-confidence!

2. Eat nutritious food: A balanced diet contributes to better moods and helps you maintain a healthy weight.

3. Get adequate sleep: In an article for Health.com, Ella Quittner reports that, "When wives have trouble falling asleep, the quality of their relationship with their husband suffers. The longer it [takes for]women to drift off... the more likely both partners were to report negative interactions with their spouse-such as feeling ignored or criticized-the following day."

4. Take responsibility for your own emotions: It's easy to blame bad moods on those around us, but the fact is, no one can ever makeyou feel something. If you find yourself feeling down, make a conscious effort to cheer yourself up. You'll be happier, and your marriage will benefit.

Prevent daily disagreements

Husbands and wives can look to simple tasks that trigger arguments, and take action to stop them before they start.

1. Do the laundry.

2. Pay the bills on time.

3. Associate with friends who value marriage: Adults aren't too different from teenagers when it comes to being influenced by peers. If a husband spends his lunch hour with buddies that berate marriage, wives, or women in general, chances are those attitudes are impacting his feelings about his own companion. If a wife maintains friendships with women who engage in husband-bashing for sport, the habit of finding fault with her own husband may develop.

Demonstrate love daily

What do you do with all that love you've cultivated? Show it! Find what speaks the most love to your spouse and be generous.

1. Pray with your spouse.

2. Make the bed together: If your morning schedule allows, take two minutes and make the bed! Think of your bed as a symbol of unity, and making it together as representative of the dedication you both have to your relationship. Or, if that's too deep, think of it as one chore off the list!

3. Talk: Be conscious of your spouse and make an effort to say "I love you," or ask, "How are you today?"

4. Touch: When affectionate touch is absent from a relationship, a husband or wife can feel isolated. Let your spouse know that you know he or she is there!

5. Be a team: Remember you are on the same side, each working for the success of the partnership. Work together, and you'll be enjoying a stronger marriage in no time.

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