I've recently read a lot about boys losing their ability to be boys. Society doesn't accept the loudness, rowdiness or off-the-charts energy.

So boys are asked to be quiet, sit still, play it safe"¦

I'm the mom of three boys - but I grew up with one sister. I was used to crying, whining and drama. But when my boys started "being boys" I was a little shocked! Talk of bodily functions, wrestling, hitting, shooting, jumping, shouting and talk of destroying things.

What in the world? Was I a horrible mother? Where had I gone wrong?

Well I don't think I went wrong "¦ I just think boys will be boys. They are naturally loud, rowdy, messy, aggressive and energetic. But they are not naturally rude, bullies, unsympathetic, hateful or mean. So here are a few ways to let boys be boys without letting them get away with inappropriate behavior:

1. Let them fight!

Yes, I know we tell them not to hit or fight "¦ but when it's a safe place let them fight and get out energy. So, when dad is wrestling with them, don't step in or tell them to settle down. Ring the bell for the next round!

2. Give them a positive outlet

... like karate, that lets them hit, punch and kick - but also teaches them self-control and discipline.

3. Never allow bullying or disrespectful behavior

This is what gives rough and tumble boy-play a bad name. No picking on someone, name calling or hitting.

4. Engage their gentle side

Teach them how to take care of a younger sibling or help an older person. They need balance.

5. Challenge their minds and their bodies

Boys need to figure things out whether that's how to get to the top of a tree or build a Lego city. Challenge them daily. They get bored easily.

6. Let them figure it out on their own

Boys will grow up to be men. Men who will lead their families, businesses, churches and our country. They need to be able to figure things out on their own.

Next time you see a little boy with a little too much energy or pushing the limits just think about his future. Will he be a solider fighting for our country? A dad working hard to provide for his family? An engineer building skyscrapers? A doctor curing cancer? Look at his potential not his misbehavior or high energy shenanigans.

Boys will be boys "¦ thank goodness!

Editor's note: This article was originally published on Consuela Parsons' blog. It has been republished here with permission.

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There is one thing ruining marriages all across the world today"¦

Can you guess what it is?

Are you wondering how I could narrow it down to just one thing?

It affects all aspects of marriage: sex, money, date nights, household chores, raising children and even vacations.

Can you guess? OK, I will tell you "¦ it is unmet expectations.

Sounds a little too simple right?

My husband and I are leading a small group at church and we have discovered, not only in the class, but also in our own marriage that unmet and un-communicated expectations are causing anger, bitterness, and disappointment in marriages everywhere. In some cases, it's even leading to divorce.

What does an unmet expectation look like?

A husband not bringing home flowers on his wife's birthday, a wife rejecting her husband's sexual advances, dirty dishes in the sink when a wife comes home, or the husband that comes home and the wife barely acknowledges his presence. None of these things are especially terrible or unforgivable. But after weeks and weeks or months and months of these types of rejections, they more than sting, they start to break hearts, tear down intimacy, and build walls.

We have all been there. We think: "This is so simple." "Why in the world can't my spouse just not do this?" "¦ and make me happy, surprise me, help me, and on and on.

There is usually a simple answer "¦ we have not lovingly and clearly expressed our expectations. I know you have yelled about dirty dishes or made sarcastic remarks about how you have to beg for sex. But, have you ever really sat down and told your spouse how important these things are to you? How these things make you feel loved, safe and supported?

Most times we haven't.

Here's a perfect example: I sent my husband a quick text asking if he was coming home for lunch. His simple answer was "I'm not sure." My heart fell a little because what I really wanted was for him to bring my daughter home from preschool. I was tired, it was cold out, and I didn't want to load my 3-year-old son in the car. Luckily, my husband followed up the text with "Why are you asking?" I explained that I was hoping he would bring our daughter home. He immediately texted back and said "Sure!" I was so happy. But, I could have spent the afternoon feeling like he was being selfish or didn't care about me if he had not asked a follow up question.

And, you know what? It would have been my fault not his. I was not clear and did not express my expectation.

Can you think of a time when your spouse let you down or disappointed you but a simple conversation could have cleared up the confusion? Can I challenge you today to discuss your expectations in a loving and clear manner? You will never know what your spouse is willing to do unless you ask.

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