I've talked to many women in this situation and without a doubt the majority have, at one time or another, eaten separate meals from their family. The kids get served grilled cheese and fries, while mom eats chicken and broccoli or maybe a pre-portioned commercial meal.

As a nutritionist and fitness coach, I see why this strategy is so appealing. It's easy to give everyone what they want, prevent meal time battles and you stay consistent towards your goals. But as a mom (and as a nutritionist), I just can't get behind this strategy one bit.

For one thing, this strategy can be a lot of work. Cooking multiple meals each night can be painstaking. But that's not really the issue here. The big issue is what your kids are learning from you about their relationship with food.

We live in a diet obsessed culture where most young girls begin dieting when they are 8 years old. Research shows that dieting behavior in children puts them at higher risk for eating disorders, obesity, and even alcohol abuse.

Our children are always watching us, always evaluating what is acceptable behavior, what is normal and what is the "right" thing to do. If we teach them that dieting is a common, every day behavior we are training them young to have an unhealthy, disordered relationship with their bodies.

We also risk alienating our children from some of the healthiest and most delicious foods on the planet. Imagine your child watching mom eat salmon, brown rice and sautéed green beans while the rest of the family eats ravioli. This delicious, healthy food is now categorized by your child as "diet" food, or "punishment for not being thin" food, and not delicious, healthy food that everyone can enjoy.

Does that mean you have to abandon your personal health and fitness goals? Not at all. Here's what to do instead:

1. Think lifestyle, not diet

The word lifestyle is so overused; anyone who is trying to get you to go on a diet now says "it's a lifestyle" hoping you won't notice the difference. But the truth is- there is a difference. A lifestyle involves doing things that you know you can stick with in the long term.

The truth is most diets fail. 95% of people who go on a diet will gain all the weight back and more. The key to being in the 5% of people who keep the weight off is this: you have to keep doing what you did to lose the weight. Forever (sounds harsh, I know). If measuring out portion sizes or tracking calories doesn't seem like something you're willing to keep doing, then it's time to consider a different way of doing things.

By adopting a healthy lifestyle rather than going on diets you no longer put your children's health and relationship with food at risk.

2. Cook deconstructed/family style meals

One of the best tips I have for a family with different food preferences and goals is to plan meals that have a variety of options. Here are some examples: a taco bar means you can load yourself up on lettuce and create a taco salad while the kids eat tacos, or even just rice and beans. A pasta meal means you can choose to eat meatballs and veggies while the kids enjoy pasta and sauce. Chicken, fruits, veggies and dip means you can decide what foods to put on your plate and your kids can do the same.

3. Always have a fruit and veggie option with your meal

This helps your children have more exposure to the foods we generally want them to eat more of, and you have options for getting some extra fiber and nutrients into your meal too.

4. Always serve a "safe" food with your meal

If you have picky kids that are going to turn their noses up at fruits and veggies, be sure to include at least one option in each meal that you know they will eat.

When my toddler was going through his picky stage, there were about five foods he would eat, and we rotated them as part of dinner each night. By doing that, he sat at the table with us while we ate a variety of foods, and we let him decide when he would or wouldn't try other foods on the table. With time he got more exposure to the foods we were eating, and he now eats a delicious variety of foods at every meal.

5. Don't stress about what the kids eat or don't eat

If you want your kid to have a healthy relationship with food, repeat after me: "you don't have to eat it." Give them permission to decide what to eat, don't stress about the "healthy" versus the "unhealthy" foods, and model the behavior you want them to adopt. They will be curious and willing to try new foods in their own time, but not if you pressure them to try it.

Your fitness goals can either help or hurt your children in the long run, and how you approach it changes everything.

The post Stop cooking separate meals: try this strategy for eating healthy with picky kids appeared first on FamilyToday.

Before I had my son, I had no idea how much motherhood would change my life. I had no idea I could feel so exhausted, yet so exhilarated at the same time. I had no idea how much I would long for just five minutes alone, yet miss my baby so tremendously the minute I was away from him. I had no idea how excited I would be to see him take his first steps, all while wishing he would stay tiny forever.

Motherhood changes women, permanently

We become stronger - I don't know if the pre-pregnancy me could have endured those late nights, early mornings and long days. My mental strength and stamina is greater than it has ever been since having a child because I know I can do the hardest things.

We become more selfless - As long as those late nights are and as much as we may complain, we know we would give the world for our child.

We become another's source of life - There's nothing quite as shocking as taking a tiny infant home from the hospital knowing that you are 100 percent responsible to make sure he is safe, happy, well-fed and healthy. That level of responsibility changes a woman into a warrior; a super hero.

These permanent changes are inevitable and beautiful. So why are we so unwilling to accept that our physical bodies will be permanently changed as well?

New moms are bombarded from all sides by advertisements for products, pills, programs and special diets designed to help us "get our pre-baby bodies back," and when we find that our bodies don't actually go back to what they were, we feel like we are somehow failing, and that we would be happier and better off if we looked the way we used to.

Here's the thing: I don't want my pre-baby body back, and neither should you

My pre-baby body hadn't created a life, housed it for nearly 10 months, then safely delivered that beautiful, precious package into the world. My pre-baby body didn't go through 23 hours of exhausting labor. My pre-baby body didn't have the capacity to nourish my baby exclusively for the first six months of life. My pre-baby body didn't sacrifice sleep every night for nearly 10 months until my baby finally slept through the night.

For years I feared and lamented what having a baby would do to my body. What about the stretch marks, and the saggy boobs, the belly? What about all my cute clothes? What about my abs?

I realize now that each and every change in my body is physical evidence of a miraculous transformation from a woman to a mother, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Without the stretch marks, there would be no baby.

Without the saggy boobs there would be no milk.

Without the loose skin around my belly there would be no cute, giggling, cuddly boy who never wants to go to bed.

"Getting my pre-baby body back" won't make me a happier person, a better mom, a better wife, friend or neighbor.

Mamas, it's time to stop wishing for your pre-baby body back, and start loving the body you have.

It's time to stop looking for a miracle cure, a product or a workout plan that will "get your pre-baby body back" and start creating health, fitness and happiness in the body you now have

It's time to throw away (or donate) those cherished pre-baby clothes that will never fit the same again and find clothes that help you feel beautiful in your body.

Motherhood is a total transformation. We may mourn the loss of our freedom, sleeping in, our stretch-mark-free bodies, our alone time — but we know that what we gain will always be more than what we lost. We can't go back, and that's a good thing.

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Body image is a difficult topic for women, especially in the summer months when the sweaters and jackets are replaced with shorts, T-shirts, and, most uncomfortable for some, the swimsuit. In a 2006 survey, over 30 percent of women polled stated that they feel uncomfortable wearing a swimsuit. While that discomfort is certainly understandable, it is not enjoyable. Wouldn't you rather be spending time playing in the pool with the kids, sliding down slides at the water park, and enjoying the sunshine, than watching from the sidelines in a bulky T-shirt?

If you're like most of us, you're ready to enjoy your summer more and worry about your body less. Here are five tips for making the most of the hot months ahead, without feeling embarrassed about your body.

1. Wear what makes you feel great

While some are being applauded for being "brave" by wearing a string bikini, if you don't feel comfortable in one, you will spend your time in the sun worrying rather than enjoying. You will feel much more comfortable wearing something that feels good to you, so take some time to find a suit that fits well and helps you enjoy yourself, rather than something that leaves you feeling over-exposed and uncomfortable. There are all different kinds of suits to fit different body types flatteringly.

2. Practice thinking kind thoughts

It's easy to stand in front of a mirror and pick apart the things you wish you could change about yourself. But the more time we spend focusing on our flaws, the more of a habit it becomes to feel bad about those areas of our bodies. Instead, practice thinking about what you love and appreciate about your body every day, so that the positive thoughts come to you automatically.

3. Hang with the right crowd

If there's one thing that is going to make you feel more insecure about your body, it's hearing other women pick apart their own bodies, or criticize other women behind their backs. Spend time with people who choose to see the good in themselves and in others, rather than those who cruelly judge others. You will feel more comfortable in your own skin; plus you will develop habits of positive self-talk.

4. Recognize the truth about bodies

It seems like daily we are bombarded with the media's idea of what a "good" body looks like. It's the cover of a magazine, the picture on social media, or the actress on the runway. Because we see this so much, we assume that all women are supposed to look like this. Let's be honest — the girl in the magazine doesn't even look like that in real life; that actress starved herself for a week to prepare for the occasion; that Instagram photo was one out of 20 that happened to hit the light just right. Our society's beauty standards are flawed and unrealistic. All bodies are good bodies, and there's no reason to compare ourselves to the ridiculous standard set by popular culture.

5. Focus on having more fun

Summer is only a few short months. Before you know it, the kids will be back in school and the leaves will be falling. The next time you have a chance to spend the day in the sunshine with your children, they will be a year older; so get in there and play with them. The more you play, the less you will worry about how you look while playing.

Years from now, our fondest memories will be of the fun we had and the people we shared it with; and chances are we won't even remember which swimsuit we wore that year.

The post How to feel confident in a swimsuit this summer (without changing your body) appeared first on FamilyToday.

Orthorexia Nervosa

Orthorexia Nervosa is a term coined by Dr Steven Bratman (orthorexia.com) to describe an unhealthy obsession with healthy eating. Although orthorexia is not an officially recognized mental disorder, it is an area of concern that is gaining widespread media coverage and the attention of mental health and nutrition professionals.

The influence of media and quick weight loss

It's not surprising that orthorexia is on the rise. New fad nutrition books and articles are being published constantly. The authors either promise their system to be the holy grail of weight loss or that perfect health can be obtained from eating their extreme diet. This typically involves strict rules on what not to eat, cutting out all sugar, gluten, dairy, among other things. These nutritional philosophies promise cures that have little to no scientific validity and create false fears that one misstep or bite of something "off the plan" will be devastating to health and body.

While some who struggle with orthorexia desire to lose weight, most are attracted to healthy eating for other reasons: namely for good health and fear of the repercussions of poor eating habits, although these fears are usually taken to extremes.

Instead of controlling food, the food controls you

The individuals struggling with this type of disordered eating enter an interesting paradox: while they purposely strive to improve their food quality, their quality of life decreases. It is not uncommon for someone with this type of disordered eating to find themselves obsessively thinking about food throughout the day at the expense of being present in the moment. They are more likely to base their self- esteem on their eating choices, and often look down on others or attempt to "educate" those who aren't as concerned about their eating. They often find themselves socially isolated because of their way of eating. They get continuously more strict about their personal food rules, and feel shameful and anxious if they ever transgress one of those rules.

Is healthy eating taking over your life?

Obsession with health is not exactly healthy. Orthorexia can have both mental and physical consequences. Mental consequences included increased anxiety, decreased life satisfaction, and a higher likelihood of falling prey to other eating disorders such as anorexia, binge eating, or bulimia. Physical consequences, in extreme cases, can include malnourishment, which in rare instances can lead to death

If you find healthy eating taking over your life, it may be time to try a more balanced approach, one that allows you to enjoy moderation, flexibility, and reasonableness, instead of requiring extreme commitment or an all or nothing approach. It is also wise to consider getting support from a mental health professional or qualified nutrition professional if you find your food fears are holding you back from being able to create a more balanced way of eating.

The post Is your quest for healthy eating actually an eating disorder? appeared first on FamilyToday.

Like many parents, you've considered the importance of setting a good example for your kids in many areas of your life, but are your dieting habits detrimental to your children's health and well-being? Current diet culture promotes unhealthy extremes and poor body image, polarizing food as "good" or "bad" - and this is incredibly damaging to a child's ability to develop a healthy or normal relationship with food. The Framingham Children's Study showed that children whose parents showed the highest levels of restrictive dieting followed by post-diet overeating were most likely to be overweight compared to children of parents who did not follow cycles of dieting and overeating. Here are four ways that extreme dieting behavior harms your child.

1. Negative body image

If you find yourself getting emotional each time you step on the scale, be aware that your child is watching. A child's perception of the importance of weight has a dramatic influence on his body esteem. Research shows that children as young as 5 years old are aware of their weight status compared to their peers, leading to dieting at a young age and resulting in a variety of concerns from obesity to eating disorders.

2. Tendency to diet younger

Multiple research studies have confirmed that children who diet at a younger age are more likely to be overweight or obese as adults, regardless of weight status when they started dieting. Children as young as preschool age are likely to consider dieting behaviors if a parent is on a diet.

3. Polarized view of food

Although you may have good intentions, categorizing your child's food into "good" or "bad" foods tends to backfire, leading to restrictive behaviors with food, disordered eating and even food shaming of peers.

4. Confusion on the topic of healthy eating

I once worked with a male client whose mother dieted for most of his childhood. When we started working together, he had very little concept of how to put together a healthy, balanced meal. It's understandable that he was confused. How could he know what "healthy" was when he saw his mother bounce from one diet to the next with a new set of food rules every few months? As we worked together and he discovered how to eat well without following crazy diet rules, he was able to lose weight, and his body easily maintains a healthy weight for him - without the rules, restrictions and astronomical failures that come with dieting.

If you're hoping to set a better example for your children, consider an alternative to the extreme diets of our day. Model a balanced approach to healthy eating. Teach your children how to create healthy, balanced meals and how to enjoy treats in moderation. Avoid using negative terms such as "dangerous" or "bad" to describe foods. Teach children to see the good in themselves and in others, regardless of weight or size. By doing this, you'll improve your child's relationship with food, preventing unnecessary weight gain later in life.

Interested in learning more about how to improve your parenting? Check out our Parenting Online Learning section.

The post How your weight loss habits are making your kids fat appeared first on FamilyToday.

Tip #1: Have a support system

Everyone has good days and bad days. This is normal, so have others around to help when bad days sneak up on you. Discuss your feelings with those you are close to so they can watch for the signs. Sharing feelings with others can be a challenge, but if they never know how you feel, they will never know if or when you need help. Having someone close that can see the signs that you need help can make all the difference in the world.

Tip #2: Know what you want to get out of your day

So many things need to be done in a day, but what will give you a sense of accomplishment? Choose one or two small (but meaningful) things you would like to complete for the day. Something as simple as taking the kids to the park for family time, or washing all the dishes can help you feel like you made a difference without doing every possible thing. If you still have some time and energy, choose one or two more. At the end of the day, focus on what you got done and not what you didn't.

Tip #3: Take time for you

We've heard it many times, if mom or dad isn't happy, no one is happy. This is very true, but it can work the other way, as well. If mom or dad are happy, then happiness comes easier to everyone else. If you need to take 5 or 10 minutes to calm down and reset your feelings, that's OK. The time you spend helping yourself calm down will pay much larger dividends than charging through everything with a bad attitude. This is no guarantee that kids will behave perfectly, but at least you will be able to handle the situation better. Kids can sense if something is wrong, but they can also feel love and kindness.

Tip #4: Make time for a family meal

If nothing else can bring your entire family together, at least sit down for a meal. Keep in mind that the meal doesn't have to be elaborate, homemade or even at home. Discussing the events of the day, over a meal, and what events are coming up can help reduce miscommunication. Everyone will be there and know what is going on. Having everyone on the same page can help reduce stress and rushing at the last second.

Tip #5: Have fun

Laughing is good for a person. Play with your kids and make time occasionally for special family activities. You can even make cleaning the house a fun family activity by cleaning for 15-20 minutes and then playing a game together. Cleaning the house doesn't have to be solely mom or dad's job. Another fun idea is to let the kids be in charge and decide what each person does. This also teaches kids qualities that will last a lifetime.

Tip #6: Get plenty of rest

If anything comes to mind before bed, write it down. This will help sleep come easier because you won't be worried about forgetting something tomorrow. Sometimes just writing it down can make it easier to remember, but then you also know the idea will be there in the morning. Don't be afraid to let some things go unfinished. Finishing that last bit of cleaning will not make much of a difference if you are too tired to keep up tomorrow.

Everyone has feelings of inadequacy from time to time. This simply means we are human. These tips are not all-inclusive and what works for some may not work for others. Oftentimes, talking about your feelings can be the most effective way to discover what works for you. Life as a parent is extremely rewarding, despite all the ups and downs.

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