The following are just a few creative ways to kick up the day.

After all, the most important aspect of celebrating birthdays is to make the people we love feel loved.

1. Plan the perfect milestone birthday celebration.

This fun creative presentation will be the ideal addition to the true birthday gifts.

If your child is turning thirteen, sixteen, eighteen or twenty-one go to the grocery store or drugstore and buy that exact number of small items.

For instance, if your child is turning sixteen find and individually wrap things that tell their own unique and wonderful story. Items which speak to your child and their experiences. At first this will seem like a daunting task but if you peruse the aisles long enough the creative juices will begin to flow.

Number each wrapped item and have a corresponding written list so you remember what each item is. You will need this for presentation purposes.

When the whole family and/or friends are together you can give your child one item at a time and narrate as they open them.

For example:

• A Baby Ruth Candy Bar - I can’t believe you’re sixteen but you will always be MY Baby!
• A PayDay Candy Bar or Play-Doh - Wow! You’re finally old enough to earn some cash.
• Gatorade - You’re even closer to your favorite college - University of Florida.
• Matchbox Car - The wheels you were hoping for.
• Starburst Candies or Starbucks Card - No matter your age, you will always be the star in my life.

The longer you walk the aisles you will find many inventive ways to come up with items which are funny or meaningful.

You might find Tic Tacs or other candies in the upcoming high school colors of your thirteen year old. A liquid soap that says ‘mens’ on it for your eighteen year old who’s now a man. An item which alludes to an inside family joke or a nickname. A Chunky candy bar where you can cover the C and say you’re now so grown up and hunky all the girls are going to chase after you. Chips in a Buffalo flavor could be a nod to a hometown or favorite sports team.

It’s even more fun to make the first and last items the most humorous or sentimental. Perhaps end with a favorite childhood toy, i.e., I know you love being all grown up but I wish you still played with these! And it could be a car, a barbie, etc.

2. Decorate with their favorite color theme.

Forget the typical birthday theme and make a colorful splash instead.

If your daughter loves pink go overboard.

Have the whole family dress in some version of that color. Dad could wear a pink tie and brothers could have a pink stripe in a shirt. Buy a special pink birthday outfit for her. Decorate the house with pink balloons and buy all kinds of different pink candies and/or snack foods (think pink snowballs) for the kitchen counters.

Give the majority of birthday presents in that same shade and figure out a dinner to match.

Think of any other creative way you might add pink. Mom could get some non-permanent pink hair color. Kids love a good laugh and they love to feel loved. Have fun with it.

3. Throw a progressive birthday party.

Ask family members and/or friends to send presents over the course of a week. This is an especially good idea for children who live far away from their extended family. Give each person a specific day to mail the item so you have an idea when each present will arrive.

These gifts can be themed, i.e., sports, books, or board games) or they can be any gift a person wishes to send.

Kids love to get things in the mail and they will never expect this many packages. Thus, this will be a never-ending surprise.

4. Plan an all day birthday celebration.

Birthdays shouldn’t be a time in the day, they should be ALL day.

Start with breakfast and do something unique to your family. Have cake in the morning. Decorate the kitchen. Have the same yearly special birthday breakfast.

And then hide the presents so the celebration continues throughout the day.

Let siblings join in by hiding some of them. They will love it.

Then all day long before school, after school, after dinner, and before bed let your child search for their goodies. Not all gifts have to be big. This is meant to be a birthday adventure. While your child plays gift hide and seek, let them know if they are getting colder or hotter as they near the direction of hidden presents.

This treasure hunt will delight kids because the whole day is a celebration. As it should be because it’s their day! And there is no age limit to this. Older kids will continue to get a kick out of this because it’s just another way to make them feel loved.

5. Spell out your child's name in presents.

Spell out your child’s name in presents.

For example, If your daughter’s name is Bella you can buy bows or bracelets for B, earrings for E, etc. If your son’s name is Ben you can buy balls or a baseball bat for B, etc. You could also spell out your last name in gifts.

These could be the main gifts or they could be small items.

You could also do this with only candy items. For a little girl named Spencer it could be Skittles for S, Pez for P and so on.

Regardless of the size, this will surely make your child feel more special.

6. Decorate the front yard.

Either the night before your child’s birthday or while they are at school decorate the front door, the mailbox, and the entire yard.

Nothing is more precious than the unexpected smile which accompanies an unexpected surprise.

Decorate with balloons, streamers and other party store favorites. Oriental Trading Company is a great place to get inexpensive decorations and/or lawn ornaments. Hang items from one or several tree branches. Maybe even have one present wrapped in a way too big box.

Children usually want everyone to know it’s their birthday so this should be a big hit. And it is something where decorations can be kept and reused year after year.

7. Show your child just how much they are loved with letters.

Ask family members to write and send letters. Assign a day you would like them to mail the letter.

Ask them to title the letter, “All the Things I Love about You.”

Also, ask them to include a little picture. Kids love to draw pictures of the people they love and themselves with the people they love. It will be nice for them to have adults and other kids in the family draw pictures for them, even if they are stick figures.

Children spend a lot of time in school, especially around the holidays creating drawings, letters, and projects for the people they love. It will be nice for them to have some feel good letters and art to decorate their own room.

And older children during the tough adolescent years will love having a list of things everyone including their siblings loves about them.

When you have children and love the celebratory ideas are endless. These are just a few that will brighten their special day.

The post 7 Unusually Creative Ways to Celebrate Your Child’s Birthday appeared first on FamilyToday.

In the throws of a particularly hectic day I chatted with my sister.

“I can’t control my kids,” I uttered in an exhausted mommy kinda way.

“We can’t control our children,” she said. “We can only teach them several core values and hope they make the best choices.”

These seemingly simple words were a turning point for me as a mother.

Of course, I hadn’t meant I literally wanted to control my children. I meant that being a mom sometimes made my world feel out of control. The worries that accompany being a parent can at times feel overwhelming.

My sister, ever the insightful one told me to choose about five core values which represented us as a family. Any more would be difficult for small children to retain.

Obviously, as a parent, I had been teaching my children values but something about this clarifying concept felt oddly centering. As if I had a parenting plan that erased any doubt about the character-filled expectations we hold most dear.

I wanted to approach this with full family involvement and without distraction.

We had an upcoming vacation planned and I knew my children would have more down time. I hoped to make this a fun family exercise so I purchased a spiral notebook for each of us and bought pens and a few other things. This way my children would also have a permanent keepsake of what we decided represented our family best.

We then did the following three things:

1. We talked about the importance of values

We sat as a family and talked not only about values but of what they mean. Values are the qualities most important and dear to us. They are the principles by which we guide and live our lives.

We then asked our children what values they could name and we made one huge master list. The list began with kindness, generosity, honesty, loyalty, etc.

We gave our children examples of how we implement our values and we asked them to give us a few examples. For instance, lending someone a pencil is both kind and generous. Working hard at homework or a sport is commitment. Taking care of a pet is being responsible. Being there for a friend is considered loyalty.

And then of course, there is the receiving end of values. How does it feel when we are treated with kindness and respect? How does it feel when we know we can count on someone to be honest with us? Or when we know we can count on someone to be responsible in our lives?

We can feel either good or bad depending on how we are treated and this relates directly back to the values we live by.

2. We took a family values vote

Once we viewed the master list and had discussed them we voted on which five values we wanted to stand for. The principles we most wanted to describe and represent our family.

This was not an easy task. We explained to our children that values are a great thing and therefore, it is difficult to choose only a handful. We solved this problem by picking some values we felt had numerous meanings.

For instance, generosity can also be a form of selflessness, responsibility can also include commitment, and kindness encompasses many other wonderful values. Kindness is a form of generosity, empathy, selflessness, compassion, etc.

We also made it clear this was just our family’s ‘go to’ list. All values are still important and we can certainly live by them as well. This would be kind of like our umbrella in the world. Wherever we went we believed strongly in kindness, honesty, responsibility, generosity, and respect.

We also discussed the importance of respecting the values others live by.

3. We wrote our family values down

We opened our notebooks and wrote down the five values we selected as a family.

We decided to have a little more fun with it and come up with either an acronym for our family name or for the values we selected it. This would be an easy way to remember what was most important to us.

Our children decided to use our last name. It took a considerable amount of time playing around with it but they eventually chose - ORME - Our Relationships Mean Everything.

They then grabbed their pens and wrote it on the front of their notebooks.

We also encouraged our children to write down any other values they felt especially strong about.

This discussion was something our children truly enjoyed because we made them a part of the decision. And because it was made a little more fun by new notebooks and pens.

It was not only a foundational family exercise but an invaluable family experience. An added bonus? It drove the conversation for weeks afterward. It’s never a bad thing to discuss matters which build character and make us better people.

There are endless variations of this exercise.

You can turn this from one family meeting into a week or month of value hunting.

You can discuss values with your children and then ask them to spend the next week or month deciding which ones they find most important. At dinner time you can ask them what values they felt they used that day. You can also ask them if they were on the receiving end of any great values - did anyone sit with them as the new kid in school? Did anyone include them in a game on the playground? Did someone say something nice to them?

You can also be even more creative with the notebooks and pens. You can buy stickers or cut out magazine pictures that show acts of kindness or other values.

You can implement a few fun exercises within your own family. Ask your children to come up with ways to use your biggest core values with one another. Maybe one could offer to feed the dog for the other or do another chore. Maybe they could let their brother or sister pick the television show they want to watch.

Children love to do good things. And parents love to know they have instilled the foundational principles to help their children make the best choices.

The post The Most Valuable Parenting Advice I Ever Received appeared first on FamilyToday.

Yet, it’s not that simple.

Our emotional behavior doesn’t necessarily match our physical age. We have to work at that. We have to develop into fully accountable human beings. We have to make a conscious choice to demonstrate mature behavior.

This can be hard as an individual let alone as a couple. What complicates this even more is we often marry our emotional equal. The Yin and yang of relationships.

It is crucial to demonstrate a mature form of love for our children’s sake.

This requires tremendous insight from both parents. And it should be as supremely important as picking the right pediatrician, safety proofing our houses, and outfitting nurseries. In other words, as important as all the other grown-up things we do to ensure our children are provided the most loving and nurturing environment.

But most importantly, because immature parenting can overburden one parent and cause substantial chaos in a home.

1. Undermining the Respect of A Spouse

A parent should never allow their children to be disrespectful to the other parent. Yet, it happens more often than it should. There is simply no excuse for a grown adult condoning this type of bad behavior from a child.

A spouse who tolerates and/or supports disrespectful behavior manifests in multiple ways.

The Apathetic Spouse: This is the significant other who is physically in the room but emotionally absent from it. In other words, this parent is undermining the respect shown to their spouse by ignoring their children’s behavior.

The Role Playing Spouse: This is the significant other who witnesses their children behaving badly but has assigned the role of disciplinarian to their spouse. Thus, they remain silent and leave one parent to play the role of both. Even in families where some parental duties are divided, there are times which demand unity. This would be one of them.

The OverGrown Child Spouse: This is the significant other who not only witnesses their children being disrespectful but joins in to either agree or support the bad behavior. This individual needs the children to be on his/her side when it comes to their view of the other parent. They need a team mom or team dad. They immaturely exercise their own feelings about their partner through their children rather than demand respect and deal with spousal issues separately.

The Selfish Spouse: This is the significant other who doesn’t get involved because whatever is being discussed does not impact their lives. If they do not care about the parenting issue they do not care if their children are being disrespectful. It’s not a part of their world, so it’s not important to them.

Children require structure, consistency, and unity. Hearing one parent say one thing and the other something else, is confusing to them. What seems like a temporary win to a child, aka getting their way, will eventually turn into a full-blown loss especially for the entire home. Because a disrespectful child will one day be a disrespectful teen. Disrespectful people do not care what other people think they do what they want.

The longer a parent undermines the respect of another parent the more out of control a household will become.

In fact, another word for disrespectfulness could be chaos.

Nothing could be more immature than a parent not recognizing their full responsibility as an adult and as a parent. Parenting is not a solo task nor should it be treated as one. It only hurts the children when parents do not support and respect one another.

2. Mocking A Spouse

Some jokes are well-intentioned and funny and become a part of inside-family banter. This type of good-hearted teasing would stem from a loving and respectful relationship. One where no ulterior motive or point was trying to be made.

The type of mocking which is not okay is using humor to simply make fun of someone or chastise them for behaviors we may not like. For instance, making fun of a spouse for liking their Starbucks coffee over a cheaper alternative. Nothing really funny about this. When we love people we get joy in making them happy. We don’t discipline them for little luxuries. And if money is truly an issue it can be resolved differently.

This appears harmless in the beginning. But it is often a disrespectful individual ‘humorously masking’ their dislike of what they do not agree with.

Mocking someone is really a personal attack. It is aimed at something we don’t like in an individual, something we don’t agree with or something left unresolved between us. It is mean-spirited and immature.

Conflict and differences in personalities can be dealt with differently.

3. Making A Spouse Overly Responsible While Being Under-Responsible

A spouse should be our emotional equal. They should not require us to be their mommy, their daddy, or their babysitter.

What happens when we are forced into these unwanted roles?

It requires one partner to be overly responsible because the other is being under-responsible. Ideally, when we leave our homes and go out into the world we have been taught to be responsible for our own behavior. If we haven’t it typically means we will marry someone who will take on that parental role for us.

Quite the dilemma once we become parents ourselves. This leaves one spouse needing to be parents to the children as well as their under-responsible significant other.

What does the under-responsible spouse look like? They repeatedly forget to bring home the milk even when asked. They go out after work but forget to call to say so. They might go out drinking without a ‘plan.’ In short, someone we aren’t able to consistently count on or who we repeatedly worry about because they often lack a ‘plan.’

What’s worse? Eventually the overly responsible spouse will also become under-responsible for some of their own personal wants and needs. This happens because they are expending so much energy being responsible for someone who lacks self-responsibility.

It’s not fair for a spouse to call the other spouse a ‘nag’ or ‘controlling,’ if in fact, neither is true. And in reality it’s because of an immaturity in accepting full responsibility for being an adult and a parent.

We are all imperfect human beings and will make mistakes. Therefore, we will also make mistakes as parents no matter how much we love our children. We will have moments of immaturity and less than desirable behavior especially as life and marriage and parenting get more complicated.

There will be moments when we all falter and do some of these things but it should not be the norm.

These three immature parenting moves lack one thing in common - respect.

When we respect the person we have chosen to spend our lives with, we would never let anyone speak badly to them. We would never consciously mock them with ill-intentions. And we would never have so little respect for their time and responsibilities that we would selfishly overburden them.

We would grow up because our children demand it.

The post 3 Immature Parenting Moves appeared first on FamilyToday.

Yet, what is most important is what is happening 'inside' of our children's world.

The outside things are simply the icing on the foundation we are gifting them with at home.

1. Spouses Treat Each Other Well

The way we treat our spouse can determine our children's long-term happiness. It will certainly play a role in their relationship success. Yet, often this fact does not receive the 'parenting' attention it deserves.

We pour love into our children neglecting to remember the love we show one another will be what they ultimately model.

Therefore, an incredible value should be placed on treating our spouses well.

Children go out into the world and gravitate towards the familiar. They will feel comfortable around those who resemble their own family of origin. Thus, the most invaluable thing we can do for our children is to demonstrate great love and respect for our spouse. This includes kindness, honestly, availability, accountability, and generosity amongst other things.

An important question to ask ourselves? How would we want our children to be treated by their significant other in the future? How would we want them to be loved? That is what parents should model to ensure their children are treated well in their relationships.

2. Improve Communication

Marital relationships as well as parent-child relationships will benefit from improved communication.

Learning these types of skills not only encourage greater emotional intimacy but can teach us when to listen and when to talk. They also provide greater insight into our children's feelings and how to handle them. Is this a time when they just want their emotions to be heard and not necessarily fixed? Do they need quiet time to decompress? Do they want solutions? And so on.

The best way to enhance communication is through a great family or marriage counselor. Reading instructional books may supplement but they do not provide insight into behaviors we do not see in ourselves. A critical factor since communicating is a two-way street.

When we learn valuable communication skills it can remove our personal 'ego's' and give our children a chance to feel truly understood. Thus, making home an even safer place from the outside world and reducing overall conflict.

3. Understand Stressors

Every person experiences stress and parenting certainly doesn't reduce it.

It's important to understand three things. The stress we can control. The stress we can't control. And the stress which is unique to us as individuals.

Many daily household triggers are within our control. Stock up on necessities to avoid midnight runs for diapers and milk. Routinely fill the gas tank on certain days to avoid adding stress to tight morning routines. Assign household chores so one person isn't overburdened having to do all things. Keep individual family member cubbies or baskets by the door to hold keys, papers, etc. to escape last minute search chaos.

It is truly important as parents to understand the stress which is unique to us as individuals. It more than likely stems from our own childhood and therefore, can trigger even greater stress. Make a list of the top three. If it is finances or being late or leaving town then plan for it. This means save more, allocate more time, etc. Most importantly discuss these with your spouse and ask them to respect these factors rather than discourage them. We do not need to be talked out of our feelings and likewise, we need to respect the stressors of our spouse.

As parents we owe it to our children to understand our intrinsic pressure points and reduce them.

4. Reduce Frustrations

Life is busy and parenting kicks it up a notch.

We often run on autopilot. We need to stop long enough to assess the 'little baggage' in our lives. The type of things which temporarily and unnecessarily distract us, frustrate us, and make us vent.

The items we leave unattended because life and family and work have us otherwise preoccupied.

It could be the raccoon who has once again feasted on dog food in the garage - it's finally time to buy that plastic storage bin. The dog broke through the fence we've been meaning to fix. The one remaining car key can't be found - time to make another.

We need to stop long enough to make a monthly list of the common recurring events we can easily rid ourselves of. This can also include planning for the month. Life is so busy that buying gift cards to keep on hand for birthday parties, cards to send for various occasions, extra batteries for all household gadgets, etc. is never a bad idea.

5. Establish Boundaries

We want to do everything for our children because it's an expression of our love. Yet one of the greatest gifts we can offer them is a sense of self and self-responsibility.

While it may feel loving to continually make their lunches or run their homework to school it does not necessarily empower them. It enables them and keeps them from growing into themselves and feeling the sense of accomplishment which accompanies self-responsibility.

A toddler feels like a big kid when they learn to dress themselves and a small child feels great accomplishment tying their own shoes. Children crave self-responsibility from a young age.

But most importantly, as the saying goes, "We are raising children not adults."

A second grader who repeatedly forgets their homework may become a sixteen-year-old who still forgets their homework - or needs constant reminding.

There is a simple way to make this less painful for both parent and child. We can sit with our child and explain we are going to let homework be their responsibility. No parental reminders. We can let the teacher know we are allowing our child to learn to take responsibility for their own homework in the coming weeks. It won't be long before our little student remembers their own homework.

Consequences teach our children to be accountable.

The world is not black and white and neither is parenting. There will be days we need to run the occasional project, lunch or uniform to school. It should however, be the exception and not the rule.

These are five incredible gifts we can bring home. They also happen to diminish stress and conflict in our children's lives. This added bonus is kinda like a gift with purchase. They also improve our ability to be our 'best' selves and in turn, our 'best parenting' selves.

The post 5 Incredible Gifts Every Parent Should Give Their Child appeared first on FamilyToday.