I wasn't afraid of marriage when I was single. I was thrilled for it.

I was, however, absolutely petrified of getting bored in my marriage and watching it fall off of one of the four "cliffs" on the path of matrimony:

1. The Cliff of Regret (6 months)

I was afraid of six months into marriage, after the novelty of being a newlywed wears off, the bills start mounting, and the realization that you are "stuck" forever sets in like quicksand.

2. The Cliff of Boredom (1 year)

I was afraid to hit a year, when I begin to be totally bored with the monotony of seeing and living with the same person every day.

3. The Cliff of Exhaustion (kids)

I was afraid of having kids, when my spouse gets so stressed with kids that she stops being fun, and I start to look for ways and reasons to get out of the house.

4. The Cliff of Growing Apart (empty nesters)

I was afraid that after the kids all started going to school I would be left with a total stranger to call my spouse.

While I was single, married people would often encourage me to get married the same way they might have tried to persuade me to eat caviar: they would tell me it was an expensive, acquired taste and hint that they didn't want to be the only suckers who had tried it.

There was always a smack of, "Oh man, I miss the chocolate cake of being single. Live it up while you can..."

Conversations like these always left me unsure what to expect of marriage.

Should I choose to stay single and avoid the regret and bitterness or should I choose to get married and join the band of married men stealing from their rich past to give memories to their poor present?

Then I met my soon-to-be wife and the choice seemed obvious - neither.

After I met Annie, I started noticing a different perspective on marriage that I had missed before. You see, aside from the many who freely offered up dating advice emphasizing the nightmares of marriage, there are those who quietly lived out happy lives.

They have adventures with each other, they plan fun activities with their kids, they still laugh at each other's jokes, they truly enjoy spending time together, they disagree with respect ... they have what I realized is real love.

So I decided to move forward and ask my wife to marry me.

When I hit my 13-month mark in my own marriage, I rolled over in bed one morning and it hit me: I was still happy.

I looked at my wife and I suddenly realized that just as we had a choice to avoid the first two cliffs, we could avoid the last two cliffs by continuing to make the choice to stay in love.

Just as we have the choice to be positive about dating, we also have the choice to be positive about marriage and starting a family.

It is a choice to be boring.

It is a choice to think kids ruin adventure.

It is a choice to pray together every day and pray for each other out loud.

It is a choice to have family night.

It is a choice to read the Bible together.

It is a choice to do the dishes when you're tired from work.

It is a choice to not say that critical comment.

It is a choice to find the positive in marriage and not let the fears leave our relationship on the cliffhanger of a bright future.

And while we don't always make the right choices - the key is always knowing that it is our choice.

Our adopted grandma and dear friend gave us marriage advice when we got engaged,"You make a choice to marry someone and then choose every day to make it the right choice."

I'm grateful for the choice we have to avoid the "cliffs" of marriage and I hope and pray that we can each make those choices daily to stay positive about finding a spouse and/or stay grateful for having one.

Editor's note: This article was published on Zack Oates' website, Zack's Bowl of Oates. It has been republished here with permission.

The post How I overcame my fear of a boring marriage appeared first on FamilyToday.

It had been three days since we got engaged. My fiancée's phone buzzed.

"Notice of Charge on Venmo from: Zack Random Guy."

She hadn't changed my contact name in her phone during the course of our two-month courtship.

She opened the notification: "$16 for MANgagement ring."

A puzzled look crept over her face as she completed the charge nonetheless.

Yeah. That's how it went down. No confession of love, rainstorm kissing or even diamonds (low maintenance kind of guy, you know ... ).

I picked out a ring on Amazon for $16.99 and charged her for it. I decided to cover the $0.99 to not look cheap, but I wanted it to be "from her."

I didn't need the fanfare, the secrecy or even the cost that surrounded my proposal - but I did want a ring.

Since making that decision, I've been met by a lot of super confused people with a lot of surprisingly strong opinions against me wearing a mangagement ring. So let's just clear the air.

Why am I wearing a mangagement ring?

I want to

And that sums it up. My fiancée didn't ask me to, but she loves it.

It isn't that weird

Some celebrities are doing it, like Johnny Depp, Charlie Sheen, David Otunga (Jennifer Hudson's man) and Michael Bublé. The Atlantic also did a piece on it recently where they note that 5 percent of engaged men are rocking a mangagement ring. Not many, but some.

My fiancée has one

I've been most surprised from my "equal rights" friends who are against the mangagement ring. They say that it's weird. I just have to pinch the bridge of my nose with a head shake. There is no pleasing those people. Look; no matter where you stand on mangagement/engagement rings, if she gets/has to wear a ring, I get/have to too!

I want to get used to a ring

It's super weird to go from never wearing rings to wearing a ring. A very thin mangagement ring is a perfect preparation.

I am committed

Not like, "I'll give this a try," sort of thing, but I'm in it to win it. I understand that women typically wear an engagement ring because in our culture, men pursue and this signals to them that a woman is off the market. But things are changing and women are getting more aggressive. While I'm not saying that I have women beating down my door, it's just a safety to make sure we are all on the same page.

So there it is. That's why I'm wearing a mangagement ring. It isn't flashy, but it is meaningful.

Editor's note: This article originally appeared on Zack Oate's blog, www.bowlofoates.com It has been republished here with permission.

The post 5 reasons why I wear a man-gagement ring appeared first on FamilyToday.