Courtney Myers – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com Here today, better tomorrow. Sat, 23 Dec 2017 10:17:00 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.3 https://wp-media.familytoday.com/2020/03/favicon.ico Courtney Myers – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com 32 32 How I’m cutting back and prioritizing this Christmas https://www.familytoday.com/family/how-im-cutting-back-and-prioritizing-this-christmas/ Sat, 23 Dec 2017 10:17:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/how-im-cutting-back-and-prioritizing-this-christmas/ This Christmas, I'm doing things a little differently and relieving more than just financial pressure.

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My daughter is 3, and is every bit the demographic that Disney and Nickelodeon hope to appeal to. Every morning before preschool, I wake her from her warm bed and coax her downstairs to a bowl of oatmeal.

We turn the TV on low, and as she watches her favorite cartoons, she slowly becomes accustomed to the day. Soon, she's sitting upright and pointing at the screen.

It's a Disney princess castle one day, and a baby doll set the next. It doesn't really matter what they're selling; she's in love with it and needs to buy it.

I tried to keep up for a little while. I went online and made a few Christmas wishlists on Amazon. I scoured the web for coupon codes and other deals and steals that could take the sting out of some of the price tags. I even pressed the "Check out" button, but then "Chickened out" instead.

I couldn't do it. Not because money was tight (it is), but because something inside me said I'd come to a critical point. I could buy her the things she coveted now, or I could help shape her heart's desire for the long-term.

I chose the latter. That was back in September, and since then I've been on a months-long journey to find simple ways to bring the joy and intentionality back to the season.

My ideas aren't revolutionary, but they've worked for our little family; and I pray they impact yours, too.

1. Follow the "want, need, wear, read" rule

I can't take credit for this one, but it's a game-changer. Rather than stock up on goodies that she'll love one day and toss the next, I've taken the approach to buy four practical, meaningful gifts.

Put simply, the rule is to buy each child something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. Isn't that a beautifully simple way to cut back on unnecessary holiday spending? I especially love the last part, as I'm striving to build my children a library they'll cherish for years to come.

2. Start a new (meal-based) tradition

Don't you love it when people tell you to start a new tradition? Because you've got all the time in the world, right?

Don't worry; this one is pretty easy.

Create a holiday-themed meal or snack that your family can associate with the holidays. For me, it's these bacon and cheese pull-aparts. I'm almost 31 years old, and I've made these for my siblings since I was about 18. We're all married now, but we still show up at Mom and Dad's around 6 a.m. on Christmas, sleepy babies (and spouses) in tow. For 12 years, I've brought a casserole dish filled with these bad boys, and if it wasn't already Christmas, it is when you slice into that salty dough.

3. Redirect the focus

You know when a baby is crawling toward an outlet and you need to stop him, but if you directly intercede, you're looking at a half hour of tears? What do you do instead? You redirect! You find a ball or book to grab his attention instead, and gently avert him away.

With so much focus on spending this holiday season, I'm taking a similar approach with my family. I'm redirecting our focus toward what this month is really about. For us personally, that means reading scripture from their children's Bible and even making a birthday cake for Jesus the week of Christmas.

Some of these concepts are pretty difficult for tiny minds to grasp, so you may need to adapt them just a bit. We can't expect a toddler to understand every detail, but we can talk about the little baby and his big impact.

4. Talk about sharing

My daughter dropped a quarter into a red Salvation Army bucket yesterday. A small contribution, yes, but you need to understand that was her Aldi quarter — the one she saves in the drink well of her car seat to snag us a cart each time we go grocery shopping. Few things make her face light up like putting that coin into the slot and watching the cart roll toward us! When I explained what the bucket was for, she reached into that drink well and pulled out her special coin. Then, she held my hand and walked proudly over to the man ringing the bell. "Mama!" she exclaimed, "I shared my Aldi quarter!"

This season, I'm emphasizing the giving. I'm letting her give of her time, her heart and her money and feel the tangible good that comes back to her. I think she's already learning.

5. Give yourself a little grace

I may or may not be talking from experience here, but there might be one late night when you find yourself on a flash sale site and you see a really great deal on a bean bag chair that would look fabulous in your little girl's room. So you buy it and for about 10 minutes you feel great about that decision. Then, the buyer's remorse sets in and you second-guess the decision.

In so many ways, Christmas is about grace. Let it be a season to extend it to others; but reserve some for yourself in the process. You might make an impulsive purchase. You might not parent the way you want to one day. You might be short with your spouse or parents. Forgive yourself and change for the better.

It doesn't have to be a season of busyness, and it certainly doesn't have to be one of guilt. Love your family deeply, and everything else will fall into place. The best part? It's totally free — and it's definitely what your kids really want, whether they know it or not.

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Why moms need other moms, and how you can be there https://www.familytoday.com/family/why-moms-need-other-moms-and-how-you-can-be-there/ Tue, 28 Nov 2017 10:07:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/why-moms-need-other-moms-and-how-you-can-be-there/ I was a raccoon-eyed, tangled-haired, stain-wearing mama. My son had a 104-degree fever and the flu. I thought I was…

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I thought it would be so much easier with my second.

I thought a temperature of 104.2 wouldn't send me reeling, frantically calling the triage nurse at one in the morning. I thought I'd be more prepared for the tumbles down the stairs, the fingers caught in doors and the face plants in the front lawn.

But it all still shook me, and I needed someone to share that with. So let's talk a little about friendship and connection and why moms should scatter it willingly. You never know who's desperate for encouragement and just looking for someone to throw a little her way.

It all started with a high fever

One day, my son started running a high fever. He was also whining and pulling at his right ear, so I assumed he had an ear infection. But then he developed a little rash, and I wasn't so sure.

I made an appointment and took him in. My daughter was off from preschool that day, so she tagged along too. We bundled up and took off in the early spring chill. She was almost three and he was barely nine months, scooting backward but not crawling.

My hair wasn't washed and my top was milk stained. I was that level of exhausted that moms get when they're unable to really enter that delicious REM sleep until around 3:30 in the morning, only to be woken two hours later by babies ready to start the day.

I don't even think we'd eaten anything for breakfast. We woke up, he was blazing, so there we were.

After waiting on the doctor for 45 minutes, spending one hour in a pediatrician room that felt more like a jail cell with every passing second, and subjecting my son to a swab up his nose, we had the results - flu.

I broke down

I cry at the drop of a hat. It's a mannerism I picked up from my dad. We both tear up at commercials and can't make it through an episode of Ellen clear-eyed.

So when I got the news, I felt the warm liquid pool in the inner creases of my eye. I looked down at the floor so the nurse wouldn't see. She filed a prescription and said everything would be fine.

Of course it would. But mamas feel everything their babies feel, multiplied by, oh I don't know, a bazillion percent.

Encouragement mom-to-mom

I took both kids to the pharmacy, still looking like a grease pit and probably smelling like one too.

I just wanted to go through the drive-thru, grab the syringe and medicine bottle and get back home. I wanted to lie my son in my big bed, pat him with a cool washcloth and let him nap in the crook of my arm like he used to.

I pulled up to the window, got my wallet ready and told the woman behind the glass my last name.

Maybe it was my smudged eye makeup, still there from the night before.

Maybe it was my mom bun, which was now a mom mound.

Maybe it was the crumpled McDonald's bag on the passenger's seat and the old, coffee-stained mug in the console.

The pharmacist locked eyes with me and asked if I was OK. She had one of those faces you just trust, and I spilled everything to her. About my sick, sleeping son in the backseat, my worry over his health and my general anxiety that I wasn't doing something right as a mom.

She counted my change and told me about her own son. He's 15 and about to drive. She didn't even want him to get his permit because she couldn't stand the thought of him on the road. She was so nervous about him taking that next step without her. She said she wished she could keep him home forever, where he'd be OK.

For a minute, we weren't making a transaction. I wasn't the customer, and she wasn't the professional. We were just two moms who were really worried about our sons.

Two moms who loved our babies more than anything, and who wondered if we were doing enough.

Two moms who desperately, even without really knowing it, needed to talk to someone, to another mom who'd been there.

Raise each other up

Grab ahold of those moments, mamas. When you can share in the struggles, get down in the trenches and raise each other up. That's the beauty of motherhood. It isn't a sole proprietorship, and you don't have to manage it alone.

Find those chances to connect, and run headfirst into them as freely as you can. Chances are, you need it, and so does she.

See that mom pushing the giant grocery cart shaped like a racecar? Let her go in front of you, and ask her what she named her babies.

That woman in line at the coffee shop, diaper bag on one arm and a sleeping child wrapped tight to her chest? Tell her how many java chip fraps you've had this week, and how you should buy stock in the place.

Notice the other moms at preschool drop-off? Find the one without anyone to talk to, and tell her you like her shoes. Compliments lead to conversation, you know.

Then leave each interaction a little better than you entered it. Share freely, ask eagerly and love deeply. We're all in this together.

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