Emily Murry – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com Here today, better tomorrow. Tue, 08 Nov 2022 15:45:08 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.3 https://wp-media.familytoday.com/2020/03/favicon.ico Emily Murry – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com 32 32 A piece of paper is all you need to stop bullying. Here’s what you need to know. https://www.familytoday.com/family/a-piece-of-paper-is-all-you-need-to-stop-bullying-heres-what-you-need-to-know/ Thu, 09 Nov 2017 12:32:54 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/a-piece-of-paper-is-all-you-need-to-stop-bullying-heres-what-you-need-to-know/ Fight off bullying with these four suggestions you can start with your kids today.

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How can you teach your kids about the negative effects of bullying? One teacher used merely a piece of paper to teach her students about bullying in a lesson that these children would never forget.

The Paper Lesson

A teacher asked each student to pull out a piece of paper. She then had the students crumple the paper, step on it and do whatever they could to ruin the piece of paper without ripping it. Once all the students had their crumpled their pieces of paper, their teacher told them to try to smooth the paper out again.

If you've ever crumpled up a piece of paper, you know how difficult it is to get that paper back to its smooth, pristine condition. There will always be some creases or folds that don't seem to go away, no matter how much you smooth them out.

This is what these students also realized as they tried to smooth out their papers. Their teacher noted that, even if they apologized for ruining the paper, and did all that they could to fix it, some scars couldn't be undone.

The same goes with bullying. This wise teacher taught her students that sometimes the effects of bullying remain with that person for the rest of their lives. Sure, they can say they are sorry to other person and try to make amends, but victims of bullying find it hard to forget the wounds that scarred them, often leaving a permanent mark.

What can you do?

Bullying continues to be a prevalent problem that can harm a child for the rest of their life. Twenty-eight percent of students in middle and high school have been bullied at some point. Twenty-three percent of students are bullied on a frequent basis.

What may be even more horrifying is that 70.6 percent of children report they have seen bullying happen in their school. But some of these bystanders never stop to intervene. Even if they are not the ones bullying another student, they don't take action to put an end to it.

As parents, teachers and mentors to these young students, something must be done to help stop bullying and the harmful effects it has on those involved.

You can start by using the paper object lesson. Teach children that their actions can have a profound impact on those around them, even when they don't realize it.

Here are a few more ideas to put a stop to bullying:

Teach kids to be safe online

Bullying comes in many forms. An increasing trend is that of cyberbullying, which can occur through text messages or online.

When giving your children more responsibility with a phone or internet access, talk with them about how to be kind and safe online. Teach them to think before they post. We should all be asking ourselves if what we're posting could harm or hurt someone, either intentionally or not.

Keep their accounts secure. Make sure you and they know who can see their posts and pictures. Keep your kids accountable and follow up on what they are doing online or on their phones. You may want to have their passwords so you can check up on any unwanted behavior, or ask your children from time to time about what they do online. Even better, let them show you themselves what they are doing.

When you know what's going on you can better catch any hints of bullying before it goes too far.

Start a conversation

Your children need to know that they can come to you and talk whenever they are faced with bullying. They also need to know that bullying in any of its forms is not acceptable.

Create an environment where you and your kids talk about bullying. You can start by showing them the paper lesson or find other outlets that spark conversations about bullying.

For example, go with your kids to see the new movie "Wonder." This movie is based on the best-selling book by R. J. Palacio and tells the inspiring story of Auggie, a boy with facial differences, who attends a mainstream school for the first time. Due to his differences, his new classmates struggle to find their compassion and acceptance, but overtime, his peers get to know the real Auggie he forms strong friendships. (Watch the trailer for "Wonder" here and catch the film in theaters November 17).

This heart-warming movie can open the doors for you and your children to talk about what they would do in this situation. Would they choose kindness, as the movie emphasizes, and talk with a new student who has no friends? Or would they go with the crowd and bully him because he's different than they are?

To put a stop to bullying, start with your example on how you choose kindness every day. Then have an open conversation with your kids about how they can choose to be a little kinder and put an end to bullying.

Bullying starts and stops with us. How will you #choosekind today?

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If you’re doing these 20 things, you’re a mom and you’re not ashamed of it https://www.familytoday.com/family/if-youre-doing-these-20-things-youre-a-mom-and-youre-not-ashamed-of-it/ Fri, 27 Oct 2017 13:45:12 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/if-youre-doing-these-20-things-youre-a-mom-and-youre-not-ashamed-of-it/ If any of these things make you say,'That is so me!' you're not alone.

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It takes a certain woman to become a mother - or so they say. But even you mothers who feel unprepared or inadequate have everything required to be the mother your children need. Somewhere along the way, you grow into motherhood naturally.

When you talk with other mothers, you connect instantly with their experiences that resonate with yours. You feel no shame with some of the things you do. Like sign up your kids for a sport they don't like (it builds character). Or call them out for lying to you (they should know by now that you always know when they're lying).

What other things do you do that make you a mother? If you've done some of the things listed below, you're most definitely a mother, and you're proud of it.

1. You help with homework you didn't understand as a kid

But somehow you're always the one finding "x" and not them.

2. You're a bipolar cleaner

Your urge to clean things rises in correlation with how messy a room is. But on other days, you have absolutely no desire whatsoever to clean the mess your kids made.

3. You plan extravagant birthday parties and trips, only to have your kids forget they even happened.

If only they knew the effort you put into their first birthday.

4. You fold clothes while watching some good ol' HGTV

Because you have to get in all the "Fixer Upper" that you can before it leaves TV. Also because "Property Brothers" is your jam.

5. You say you won't baby your youngest...

And then you buy them a smartphone three years earlier than their older siblings. And a car.

6. Going to the grocery store alone is a mini-vacation

No in-store tantrums? Pure bliss.

7. Because family vacations aren't the vacation they once were

You thought all those parents with the children on leashes were crazy. And then you went to Disneyland.

8. Some days it feels like you spend more time in your car than in your home

Why, why, why does soccer practice have to be in the opposite direction from the gymnastics studio?

9. You have an innate talent for finding your kid's favorite toy when it's lost

It's like a mother's sixth sense.

10. And an uncanny ability to lose things that shouldn't be found

The loudest and most annoying toys are somehow always the first to disappear...

11. You've been done with excuses for a while now

"You don't like your food? Oh, I'm sorry."

12. You treasure time in the bathroom like never before

Until a little someone always wanders in.

13. You give your kids responsibility, only to question whether you should take it back again.

But what if they don't separate the lights and the darks?

14. You read the three same books and watch the three same movies over and over and over again.

If you hear, "Let it Go," one more time...

15. You take significantly less pictures and videos of your youngest child than you did your eldest.

"Here's my oldest at 3 months, 1 day. Here she is, 3 months 1 day at lunchtime...Oh and here is my youngest on his sixth birthday. Here he is on his 12th birthday."

16. You're proud to be the mean parent

When, "They'll thank me later," crosses your mind a little more frequently than you ever thought it would.

17. You make traditions for your kids to remember, but then they become some of your favorite memories.

Admit it; making Christmas cookies and going trick-or-treating isn't just for them.

18. You finally get why your mom wanted you to eat your vegetables and take vitamins

She wanted what you want, for her kids to be healthy, safe and strong.

19. You dream of sleeping through the night without someone waking you up

Until your kids grow up, and part of you wishes that they would wake you up again.

20. You tell your kids they are beautiful

And you mean it.

You know what it feels like to be a mom. You know how it feels to comfort your children when they're sad. To take care of them when they're sick. To walk with them as they discover the world.

Being a mother may be your greatest challenge, but it's also your greatest joy.

One mom who isn't ashamed of all the things that come with motherhood is Isabel Pullman, a character from the upcoming film "Wonder" and played by Julia Roberts. Isabel is a strong mother figure whose mission is to guide her son through his challenges. You can catch the heartwarming story in the new movie, coming to theaters November 17. Not going to lie, the book is an amazing read, and the movie looks just as good, if not even better (watch the trailer here and get tickets to see the film here).

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Man struck by lightning claims this unlikely miracle saved his life https://www.familytoday.com/family/man-struck-by-lightning-claims-this-unlikely-miracle-saved-his-life/ Fri, 29 Sep 2017 10:02:19 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/man-struck-by-lightning-claims-this-unlikely-miracle-saved-his-life/ "I couldn't wake up ... In my mind, at least, I ceased to exist."

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Mitch Davis, a young father of three, struggled to connect with his family. Working long hours, he spent less and less time at home, distancing himself further from the people he needed to connect with the most. His marriage was in trouble and the relationships he had with his children were hanging by a thread.

Around this time, Davis' 10-year-old son, Christian, found a stray dog. Needing a friend, Christian brought the stray home. Davis didn't like the thought of another mouth to feed, but the dog stayed. Pretty soon Pluto was a part of the family.

In a desperate attempt to connect with his son, Davis planned a camping trip in the Colorado mountains. He invited two of Christian's friends to come along with them. And, of course, Pluto tagged along as well.

Disaster strikes

As the boys were hiking, a storm came in. They quickly set up their tent and hurried inside. Christian and his friends curled up in their sleeping bags to keep warm as Davis cooked some food. It seemed the worst was over.

In an instant, that all changed. As Davis describes the experience, "I started fixing dinner on our little camp stove. Then, suddenly, I was gone."

Davis has no memory of the moment lightning struck, but Christian and his friends do. They saw the bolt come down through the tent's roof, hitting Davis in the chest. He fell to the floor of the tent, his eyes still open, but rolled back into his head.

After striking Davis' chest the lightening shot around the tent in a frenzy, hitting all the boys and burning holes in their camping gear. When it stopped, the boys were unharmed, except for a few burns, but Davis still lay unconscious.

Asking for a miracle

What Davis does remember is hearing the boys scream after the lightning died down. Davis still couldn't move or wake up, but he says, "As if from a great distance ... I heard my son cry out, 'Dad, please don't die!' ... (Yet) I could only lie there, helpless, wondering what in the world had happened to me."

Then Davis felt something else: a darkness he describes as "impending death." But Davis was not ready to die. He had not yet made things right with his son. He had not cared for his wife and other children as he promised he would. He did not want to die.

In this moment of despair, he says, "I felt myself starting to leave mortality and realized my only hope was divine intervention." With only his mind at his command, Davis started to pray.

"Before I could call on (God)," Davis recalls, "He called on me." Davis remembers hearing a voice encouraging him to "ask in confidence."

Even in this remote place, God sent Davis the encouragement he needed. Davis says, "He knew I had faith in him but lacked faith in myself as a worthy recipient of the miracle I so desperately needed."

With this encouragement, Davis prayed with "every ounce of faith I had," and immediately he regained consciousness. Davis attributes his miraculous recovery to the hand of God, one that had been watching out for Davis long before the lightning struck.

An unlikely miracle

Davis says God began to save his life the moment his family took in that stray dog. "Pluto gave me my life back," Davis saids. "He saved me and my family in more ways than one."

Pluto came into the Davis home at a time when their family was falling apart. He brought them together when hope for a happy family seemed lost. And during the traumatic lightning storm, it was Pluto, right beside Davis, who took the brunt of the bolt's power to save Davis' life.

Davis didn't know it at the time, but God was always watching out for him and his family. Sometimes we fail to see the little miracles that end up saving our lives.

"When you're young, young kids, young marriage, young in your career, it's all happening at once ... It's hard sometimes to remember why you're doing everything," Davis said. In these moments of distress, God sends us exactly what we need. Whether that's a camping trip with a son, a whisper of encouragement or even a stray dog, we never are left without his help.

See Mitch Davis' remarkable story on the big screen in the new movie "The Stray," in theaters October 6.

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Men must ALWAYS prioritize their wives – especially above these 4 people https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/men-must-always-prioritize-their-wives-especially-above-these-4-people/ Tue, 19 Sep 2017 11:11:23 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/men-must-always-prioritize-their-wives-especially-above-these-4-people/ Is your husband putting these people before you?

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Mitch Davis was hard at work all day trying to support his family, but what he failed to recognize was that his family was falling apart right before him. His wife struggled in her roles as a young mother of three. What made it worse was his lack of support or care. His priority wasn't on his wife. It was on another dream. (See their true story in the new movie, "The Stray," to find out what unlikely source brought their family back together.)

Even when our spouses continually make mistakes, showing them that we love them is one of the most important things you will do in your life. They need to know that we are there for them.

Shifting priorities

Other priorities pop up that sometimes take precedence over our spouse. Check yourself to see if these four groups of people are a greater priority in your life than your spouse is:

1. Your kids

Don't get me wrong, your kids need your attention. They need to feel loved, too, but they need to see how much their father loves their mother and vice versa.

Marriage experts Gary and Joy Lundberg note that if a man or woman prioritizes their children above their spouse, it can ruin how their children view marriage. They said, "If you push your spouse down on your list of priorities, your children will believe that marriage isn't all that important. On the other hand, if they see you honoring your spouse with that No. 1 spot, they will feel a love and security that can come in no other way."

Happy homes are built when husbands and wives prioritize each other above their children.

2. Your parents

Growing up, your parents were your best friends. They were the ones you went to when you needed to cry, when you were scared or when you didn't know what to do with your life. When you get married, though, your spouse needs to be that new confidant and shoulder to lean on.

As the scripture in Genesis says, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife." Speaking on this, religious leader, Spencer Kimball said, "She, the woman, occupies the first place. She is preeminent, even above the parents who are so dear to all of us."

Stay close to your parents and always let them know that you love them, but never let them take that first place of priority and get in between you and your spouse.

3. Your boss

Work should never get in the way of those you love. It's true that money matters; you have a duty to support your family. But when you put work first and your wife further down the list, that's when problems happen.

Talk with your spouse and decide together how much time is too much time at work. If money is tight, work needs to be a high priority. When that happens, come up with ways to show care and devotion to the person who means the most. That might just mean a small date night, or curling up in bed with a favorite TV show.

Set expectations that you can both agree on. Conflicts in marriage are often the result of expectations not being met or understood. When you're on the same page you can work through the tough times together.

4. Anyone of the opposite sex

Even without realizing it, you may be putting a friend or co-worker of the opposite sex above your husband or wife. This is a big red flag. Casual flirting or confiding in someone of the opposite sex need to be avoided like the plague.

Beware, too, of encouraging feelings for someone you don't even know. Too many men and women slowly lose priority for their spouse by indulging in pornography.

It's these small, seemingly innocent actions that lead to problems like adultery and divorce. And it all stems from ignoring that one principle: make your spouse your priority. Think of them before you go and make a mistake you will forever regret.

We all want a happy marriage, one that makes life joyful and not just something to endure. That marriage we want starts with us shifting our focus back to our spouse and to meeting their needs.

Husbands, your wives need you. Wives, your husbands need you. Don't let them down. Be there for them like you need them to be there for you.

To see how the Davis family was able to overcome the challenges that threatened their marriage and build a stronger family, watch The Stray in theaters October 6.

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Here are the reasons people love their dogs as much as their kids https://www.familytoday.com/family/here-are-the-reasons-people-love-their-dogs-as-much-as-their-kids/ Mon, 26 Jun 2017 16:42:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/here-are-the-reasons-people-love-their-dogs-as-much-as-their-kids/ Do you love your dog like it's your child? Find out why according to research.

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It's no joke: Some people really do love their dogs just as much as their children.

You've seen the parents that spend just as much on their dog's Halloween costumes as they do their kids' costumes. The parents who only provide their dog with the best toys, best food, best training and best grooming possible because those are just as valuable as paying for their daughter's year at a charter school. Or the parents who won't take a family photo unless their dog is in it because he or she is just as much a member of the family as any child.

Maybe you are one of those parents, and there is no shame in that. In fact, science backs you up. You're not crazy, just very in touch with some of your hormones.

A hormone for unconditional love

The kind of love you feel for your children is unconditional. Sure, you want them to make the best decisions, but you know you will love them no matter what they decide. This sometimes makes you a little protective of your children, turning you into the mama bear you didn't know you could be. Your children don't have to qualify for that unyielding kind of love. From the moment you first laid eyes on your children, you simply loved them.

That strong feeling of love and protection you get is triggered by a hormone called oxytocin. Sometimes referred to as the "love hormone,"oxytocin is what engenders strong levels of trust and empathy for another person. This hormone is what produces that unbreakable mother-to-infant bond and is a necessary hormone for labor and breast-feeding. It also is released during sex and causes a high level of emotional connection between two partners.

Oxytocin rises in our bodies when we touch or embrace a loved one or look into their eyes. And yes, this includes when we see or embrace our dogs, too.

The feeling is mutual

Not only do we feel a surge of oxytocin when we look into our dog's eyes, but they also experience a similar increase in oxytocin.

One study from Duke University and the University of Tokyo found that in this way domestic dogs have evolved into becoming "man's best friend." When placed in a room with their owners, dogs and humans both had increased levels of oxytocin in correlation with increased eye contact between the two.

The same experiment was performed with wolves raised by humans and their owners. However, no such increase in oxytocin could be found in the wolves. The researchers concluded that dogs, in the 34,000 years of their domestication, have picked up on their owners' social cues similar to how young children do, forming a comparable parent-to-child bond.

Face-to-face contact

With children, spouses or other loved ones, there are many ways to spike our oxytocin through our different senses. But with our dogs, the communication barrier limits this more to eye-to-eye and face-to-face contact.

Another study gave mothers pictures of children and dogs to look at, some of their kids and pets, and some that were completely unfamiliar. Measuring the mothers' emotions and brain activity, the researchers found that these mothers felt a surge of emotion and social cognition toward the familiar faces, but not toward the unrelated photographs.

They also found that, "An area of the brain vital to processing faces was activated more by a dog picture than a child's face." This could be because humans recognize their dogs more by sight than by sound or touch. Human-to-dog communication is more centered around facial cues than a verbal language, although dogs do pick up on sounds and tones of voice.

A recent show on ABC, "Downward Dog," plays off of this communication barrier between humans and their dogs. The hilarious and sometimes cynical narrator, Martin, is a dog living with his owner Nan, chronicling her life as he sees it. The love he feels for Nan and the love she feels for him is undoubtable, but sometimes they both feel a little misunderstood. It's a clever and insightful take on how we create connections in a modern relationship. Because after all, the relationship we have with our dogs is just as powerful as any other close relationship we make.

If you feel the same unconditional love for your dog as you do your children, you're not alone. That motherly bond isn't going to go away, but luckily for you, the bond your dog feels for you isn't fading either.

Catch up on ABC's "Downward Dog" and get a new perspective on what your dog is really trying to say to you. Don't miss Nan and her dog Martin in the special one hour finale next Tuesday at 10/9c and be sure to catch up on episodes now at ABC.com and ABC On Demand.

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Here’s what you should do when he’s not attracted to you anymore https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/heres-what-you-should-do-when-hes-not-attracted-to-you-anymore/ Tue, 23 May 2017 12:48:52 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/heres-what-you-should-do-when-hes-not-attracted-to-you-anymore/ When you feel like that attraction between you and your man is fading, don't retreat. Fight for him. Find out…

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Nothing kills confidence quite like that sinking feeling you get when your man doesn't seem to be attracted to you anymore. He doesn't hold you like he used to or compliment your new haircut. The distance between you two keeps growing.

It feels like you're losing him, but it doesn't have to be this way. You won his love and affection before. You can do it again. Don't lose hope in your relationship.

Your man needs your love. It's all he needs. Even when he isn't showing affection. Rather than turning your affection away too, try out some of these suggestions.

Discover his love language

If you want to reignite his attraction for you, you need to love him in a way that he personally can feel it. Attraction grows when our significant other speaks to us in our love language. To rekindle that lost love, you need to go back to the basics. The way you feel love isn't always how your man feels it. Figure out how he best feels love (physical touch, words of affirmation, etc.) if you don't already know, and study up ways you can help him feel loved.

Don't kill yourself trying to get his attention

Always remember that your confidence shouldn't depend on the attention your man gives (or doesn't give) you. It's OK for you both to have some space, and that doesn't mean you're falling apart. In fact, not always being together makes those moments when you are more meaningful.

Sometimes it pays to be a little more elusive when it reignites that attraction, but don't be so elusive to the point that you further distance yourself from him. For example, try putting your feet in his lap as you sit on the couch rather than cuddling up close like you normally do. Those subtle flirtations might be exactly what your relationship needs to reignite the spark.

Ask him to teach you something

When you started dating, this was one of the best flirting tools in your arsenal. Guys feel valued when they get to share their skills. Act like you did on those first dates and dedicate all your attention to your man. When he sees that you're really listening as you learn something new, he'll feel the value he's seeking.

Plus, that quality time you spend together is priceless. Sometimes we spend time with our men but we aren't really there. We know more about what's happening on Facebook than his life. Learning a new skill requires you to listen to each other and will draw you closer together, making him more attracted to you.

Look sexy just because

You don't need makeup or designer clothes for him to be attracted to you, but a little lipstick never hurts. Don't try to be someone you're not (if Adele's winged eyeliner isn't your thing, that's OK). Find what works with your style so that you can be confident in your own beauty, because if you believe you're attractive, chances are, he will too.

Get away from your worries

Remember that you never know the whole story. Sometimes, when you think your man isn't attracted to you, he may be going through a struggle he's afraid to share or he's stressed to the point of shutting down. Having to support a family, be the man you need, while wanting to pursue his passions can put a lot of pressure on him. Perhaps it's time that the two of you just left behind your worries for a weekend. Go somewhere new, even if that's somewhere close by.

The only requirement for this getaway is that you do something where you don't have to think about your daily worries and stresses. Seriously though, try going to a spa, where you can spend the whole day away from your stresses (i.e. rekindling your romance). Getting massages together or relaxing in a hot tub? (Don't mind if I do.) When was the last time you two had that time to do nothing but relax? (You can spend the ENTIRE day at Island Spa and Sauna for only 29 dollars!)

Too often we distance ourselves from the one we love the most. In those moments, all you want is to feel is love from your man.He wants is to feel your love, too. Trust that you have what he wants, knowing that you have what he needs.

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8 gestures to make your husband feel loved https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/8-gestures-to-make-your-husband-feel-loved/ Wed, 17 May 2017 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/8-gestures-to-make-your-husband-feel-loved/ Looking for a unique way to show your husband how much you love him? Check out these eight need-to-try gestures.

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He is your everything, and you are his. That bond between you two grows stronger every day, but you don't need us to tell you that.

After years or even just months together, finding a unique way to show your husband how much you love him becomes incredibly difficult. No fear! With a little creativity you can easily help your man to feel more loved than ever.

To get you started, here are eight gestures you can use to show your husband that he means more than the world to you.

1. Clean the bathroom

Not the most fun activity, but one way to make your husband feel loved is to let him know that you're both working toward the same goals. He needs to know that you're on his side.

Do you have a mutual goal on your to-do lists? Maybe you've been holding off cleaning the car (we've all been there). Or maybe you've yet to go through those boxes holed up in storage. Set aside some time to do a chore that your husband will appreciate having done. Show him that you've got his back.

2. Wash your hair

We pride ourselves on how many days we've gone without washing our hair like it's a badge of honor. But if you were to ask your husband, he'd probably say that he loves it when you walk out with clean hair. Let's face it, you like the way you look and feel with clean hair, too.

Show that extra effort for your husband. He deserves to know that he's worth an extra few minutes in the shower.

3. Buy a special treat

Remember, be creative! Ask his family what foods and treats he hasn't had since he was a kid. Can he go through a box of Mott's fruit snacks faster than your kids? Buy a box that's just for him! Or buy a delicious treat neither of you has tried before. Or make it a fun date night by baking an exotic dessert together.

Whatever you do, make a memory out of it. Have a big reveal or take pictures. Make even the small, ordinary moments matter in your relationship.

4. Wear that outfit that he likes

Who cares if you wore that shirt and jeans earlier this week? Not him! Ask your husband what outfits he likes to see you wear. Especially if you're not the girl to reuse outfits often, your husband will love knowing that you're wearing that outfit just for him.

5. Stop saying "I'm sorry" so much

Do you ever apologize for apologizing? Or say "thank you" to every little thing your husband does? In an effort to appear humble, sometimes we come off as submissive. We don't feel confident and it shows.

When you act confidently, your husband knows that he's doing his job. He wants to build you up. He's your biggest cheerleader (sorry, Mom). You build his confidence when he sees that he's building yours.

6. Watch a scary movie in a cemetery

Yep, you read that one right. It's all about getting out of your comfort zone so your man the chance to protect you. He loves it when you put your trust in his safety and care.

Whatever your fears are, let him in to help you overcome them. Whether that's going skydiving, performing in front of an audience, or yes, even watching a horror film in a cemetery at night, let your husband be there to take care of you. One of the best ways for him to feel loved is to feel needed.

7. Tease him

Along with feeling needed, your man needs to know that you have fun with him. Don't roll your eyes if he makes a ridiculous joke. Build off of it and keep the joke going! Laughing together is a quick way to show your husband that you're glad you married him.

Teasing him especially can break down a lot of walls if you two are having an off day. Never be mean, keep the teasing light. He'll pick it up and start teasing you back. Those are the moments when your man knows he's got his partner in crime and his best friend right by his side.

8. Take him out on a "Treat Yo' Self" day

Ever seen "Parks and Recreation"? Sometimes you and your husband just need a "Treat Yo' Self" day. This means a day away from the stresses of daily life - a day to relax and unwind. You both deserve a break from time to time. Taking your husband out for a treat yo' self day shows him how much you appreciate his hard work. Looking to show you love him? Show him that you appreciate him.

Ask him what his idea of a treat yo' self day looks like. Spending a day at the spa? You'd be surprised how many guys enjoy relaxing at a spa, with a full day of massages, body scrubs and hot tubs. Yep, sign us up.

No one can make your husband feel loved like you can. He needs you. Not every gesture of love has to be creative or elaborate. Just be you, and don't stop loving him like crazy.

You and your hubby can spend the entire day at amazing Island Spa and Sauna for only $29 each. There, you'll get to explore the different themes saunas, rejuvenate the the hot tubs and get pampered with professional massages and scrubs.

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20 signs you’re doing better than you think you are https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/20-signs-youre-doing-better-than-you-think-you-are/ Mon, 24 Apr 2017 09:33:28 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/20-signs-youre-doing-better-than-you-think-you-are/ You are worth more than you realize. If you need a reminder, check out this list of what you are…

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The phrase, "You are your greatest critic" is all too true. In the effort to become our best selves, we think we are taking the high road by never being too proud, by belittling our accomplishments and by belittling ourselves. This behavior doesn't make us feel better. In fact, it hardly ever provides the proper motivation to change our natures into the best we can be. Rather, it leads us to think that, no matter what we do, we are never good enough.

You are more than good enough. Your efforts may not seem to add up to much, but they are what make you great.

If you need a reminder of that, check out these 20 signs you are doing better than you think you are:

1. You got up

Every day we have a choice, to get up and face the world or to hide from it. Even if you hit the snooze button for an hour, getting out of bed in the morning is quite the accomplishment for all of us.

2. You went to sleep last night

When you could have stayed up all night worrying about the little things, you went to bed instead. This may seem like a defeat, but even turning off the lights and climbing under the bedsheets is a choice to let go of today's worries and try again tomorrow.

3. You have the essentials

Sometimes we forget how much we have: a roof over our heads, even if it's a cheap apartment. Something to eat, even if it's a microwave meal. Something to wear, even if it's a ratty t-shirt you don't have time to wash. Look around and notice the small things you do have instead of the big things you may not have.

4. Makeup? You don't need makeup

Having the time to put makeup on almost seems like a joke. But after not wearing makeup for weeks on end, you start realizing you don't need it to be beautiful or put together.

5. You get to make your own decisions

This thought may stress you out when you have a lot of decisions to make, many of which are life-altering. But it means you have the freedom to choose your destiny. That is remarkable.

6. You can read

This is one of those small things we often take for granted. If you're reading this article, that means you're literate. You are more educated than millions around the world who may never have a chance to open a book or read the nutritional facts on a peanut butter jar. Before getting discouraged that you don't have time to read for pleasure anymore, think about the amazing blessing you have to be able to read in the first place.

7. Walking is exercise, right?

Who cares if you couldn't (or just didn't) make it into the gym today? Remember what you did: got off the couch, ran after a child, walked up and down that aisle in the grocery store because you couldn't find what you were looking for. It doesn't always take an active gym membership to know you are being active.

8. You've come a long way

Look back on where you were five years ago. We all have moments when we feel stagnant and disappointed with our lives. Looking back on how far we've come is a reality check that our lives are not as stagnant as we believe.

9. You brushed your teeth

Maybe you didn't wash your hair (again). Maybe you can't remember the last time you washed those jeans. But you're not a total slob if you're still brushing your teeth. Those clean teeth may be all you need to get through the day confidently.

10. No one ended up in the emergency room today

On days when it feels like your kids are going to kill each other, remember they didn't, and no one ended up too hurt. Feel free to celebrate that significant success!

11. You're still going

Each step forward, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction.

12. You know what you want

Even if you don't have everything you want, at least you know what that is or isn't. You have some sense of direction, something to strive for. That's more than a lot of people have.

13. Technology isn't insurmountable

Perhaps you were caught up, figuring out the wireless wi-fi router all day. It's OK: you are tech savvy enough to have found this article.

14. You're still smiling

Whether you're laughing at yourself or watching a cute puppy video, you keep finding that there's always something to smile about.

15. You're not alone in this

The people you care about equally care about you. They stick with you, and they love you, whether you think you're failing or not.

16. Things have worked out, so far

On days when you didn't think you could pull it all together, somehow you did.

17. You want to be better

If you find yourself discouraged with how your life is turning out, that means you have an innate desire for something better. This can turn into a weakness if you allow yourself to never be satisfied with your situation. However, it's a strength if you let that hope for something better change you for the better. Change begins with that desire and with knowing that nothing is set in stone.

18. You have some semblance of a schedule

That schedule may be driving you crazy with all you have to do, but having places to go and commitments to keep are signs that you matter. Picking up the kids from practice, getting lunch with an old friend and going to parent-teacher conferences means your presence is valuable.

19. The skills you have help more than you realize

Don't get caught up in thinking your abilities don't add up to anything important. Being able to write an email, clean the lint out of the dryer and cook a box of macaroni and cheese matter because they help other people. The small things you do every day make a world of difference to the people in your circle.

20. You are you

Your life is your own. That is something to be proud of.

You have every right to be happy with your efforts because they are greater than you may think; you are making a difference.

Vote now for the winner of the Women's Choice Awards for women you believe are also making a difference for girls and women across the world.

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The 5 phrases that destroy a girl’s self-esteem when she hears them from her mom https://www.familytoday.com/family/the-5-phrases-that-destroy-a-girls-self-esteem-when-she-hears-them-from-her-mom/ Thu, 20 Apr 2017 09:27:57 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/the-5-phrases-that-destroy-a-girls-self-esteem-when-she-hears-them-from-her-mom/ Are you guilty of using these phrases, even with the best intentions? Here's how to combat common phrases that tear…

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What we say sticks with our children, for better and for worse. As a mother, you have the greatest potential to empower your daughter. Who better to teach her to be fearless and confident? As your girl grows up she will have many role models in her life. But the one she will look to first will be you.

Your daughter needs constant reminders of your care and affection. Studies show that during those critical years before she leaves home, a girl's self-esteem falls 3.5 times more than her male counterparts. As her greatest confidant, how you talk to your daughter will in great part determine how her self-esteem evolves.

As you raise your daughter, be careful of throwing out these five phrases that will hurt her self-esteem rather than help it.

"Let the boys get that."

Sure, many moves from one house to another have been saved by men with great upper-body strength but that doesn't mean your little girl has anything less to offer.

If your daughter tries to assist with a project but is told that she shouldn't, this may diminish her drive or creative capability. Instead of feeling empowered, she may feel weak. Let her discover for herself what is and is not within her power. The extent of her abilities may surprise you.

Not only that, but teaching your daughter that her effort is valuable in any situation also can inspire her to develop a charitable attitude.

"If you were a little skinnier ..."

Were there a handbook for mothers (can you imagine how convenient that would be?), one of the cardinal rules would be to never tell your daughter she needs to lose weight. Helping her to be fit or to eat healthy are worthy pursuits, but telling her to be skinnier can ruin her self-image.

One study found that parents who, even with good intentions, comment to their child about losing weight "may inadvertently reinforce negative stereotypes about weight that children internalize." According to the study, these children are more likely to develop unhealthy eating disorders throughout their lives. The world will tell your daughter repeatedly that she needs to be thinner; you don't need to as well.

Be there for your daughter by praising her for who she is. Create a home that promotes healthy living, and work together to lose weight if obesity does become an issue.

"Is he cute?"

We know affection is based on more than just looks. So, why are we so quick to ask our daughters about how cute the guy they are crushing on is? They may choose to only like a guy if he is cute in anticipation of this question. Girls are also more likely to place more value on their own looks if this is the case.

Teach your daughter instead that she is more than just a pretty face by not overvaluing the looks of others. Furthermore, praise her for her intellect, for her creativity, for her strength. Let her know that her worth is measured by more than her skill with makeup or her wardrobe.

"If you were more like ..."

Comparison is a struggle many women deal with daily. Don't teach your daughter to do it by comparing her to siblings or other children her age. Let her find her individuality and commend her for the talents only she has. You daughter needs to know how good she is, and she needs to hear it from you.

"You're fine."

You know perfectly well that sometimes you are not fine, and neither is your daughter. When your daughter is upset, ask her why she is feeling that way before assuming she is overreacting; validate her feelings. Don't turn down affection when she needs just that. Talk to your daughter openly and without harsh judgment. Sometimes she doesn't need your advice; she just needs you.

Be there for your daughter when she needs a friend or someone to hold her while she cries. If she feels valued by you, she can develop her own self-worth.

Vote for women you feel best embody female empowerment with the Women's Choice Awards. Who do you think best teaches girls to embrace their inner strength and beauty and be forces for good? Vote now and let your voice be heard.

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