1. Nobody's perfect

 Here's a good place to start: Remember that you weren't perfect as a child, realize that you aren't perfect as a parent, and stop expecting your child to be what you weren't and aren't. Don't be afraid of making a mistake from time to time. A parent role model that is imperfect but trying hard to do better will teach that perfection isn't expected, but effort is.

On the other hand, trying in vain - and trust me, it will be in vain - to persuade your child that you're perfect and always have been, does nothing to build her self-image. As an unfortunate result, your relationship will take a hit.

2. Give yourself

 When you make it a priority to spend time with your children, you are teaching them that they are valuable and valued. Front yard sports, camping, school events, bed-time stories, face-to-face meal times at the table, and other such activities that allow child and parent to relate to one another (notice I didn't mention movies or other non-interactive activities) communicate the right things to children. Plus they're fun.

3. Teaching is a good thing

 Telling a child he's done something incorrectly isn't an awful thing. It's called teaching, and done properly it doesn't erode self-image. It stands to reason that if a child is to learn that two and two is four, he'll also have to know that two and two is not five. While some contemporary teaching methods may suggest that you should accept your child's every answer or performance as correct, even if it's not, don't be deceived.

Failing to learn the difference between doing a thing correctly and doing it incorrectly fosters chronic failure - and that erodes self-image. Learning to do a thing correctly fosters chronic success, and that builds self-image.

4. Doing versus feeling

 While we often think of feeling as the cause of behavior, perhaps we should consider that it is the result of behavior. James Lehmansuggests, "You can't feel your way to better behavior, but you can behave your way to better feelings."� Children will be faced with problems and challenges, time and again. If their efforts to face up to them are supported by parents who encourage them to deal positively with imperfection and disappointment, they will learn that they can handle such things emotionally. They will learn to pick themselves up and try again without falling apart at the seams. The ability to cope comes with practice at coping.

5. Avoid false praise

 Children know when praise is fake or contrived and they know when it's sincere. Make sure yours is sincere and in no way condescending. And make sure it's frequent.

6. The myth of consistency

 While it's important to stick to your guns on principles, it's not possible for parents to avoid a certain amount of inconsistency that comes from mood, emotion, short-sightedness, busy-ness and error. But don't panic. Principles of learning suggest that behavior that is rewarded every single time will not persist as strongly as behavior that is rewarded only most of the time. So don't beat yourself up if you failed once or twice to jump for joy when your child tied her shoelaces correctly. Your inconsistency just may help strengthen your child's self-image. But be careful; that principle of learning works equally well on behavior you'd rather not encourage.

7. Value true competition

 Competition too often takes a bum rap. Making sure everyone in a contest feels rewarded in exactly the same way regardless of outcome denies children opportunities to enjoy the thrill of excellence. In a child's early years, when the value of participation rightly trumps the pressure of competition, it's important to reward the effort of every participant in a contest; but with years, the reality of competition demands its priority, whether we like it or not.

Rigging things to assure an equal outcome, or rewarding everyone equally regardless of outcome, does nothing to promote a child's true sense of accomplishment or prepare him to deal with the unavoidable competitions of life. In successful competition the achievement becomes the reward. Without experiencing the genuine satisfaction of a job well done, a healthy self-image is at least elusive and perhaps unlikely.

Helping your child develop a positive self image is an ongoing process. Remember that no one is perfect, not even you. If you relax and do your best your child will learn from your example.

The post 7 tips to help strengthen your child’s self-image appeared first on FamilyToday.

My son immediately went into a bargaining mode and tried to convince me he could sell the Xbox on eBay. I was skeptical and, thinking I could dissuade him, said, "If you don't sell it within a couple weeks, then we will give it away."� He looked at me, smiled, then replied, "Oh, it will sell."� Less than two weeks later, my son had sold the broken down Xbox unit for more than a 400% profit.

Children Who Succeed

Since then, he and my other two children have been showcased in the news and other places for their talents and business acumen. But that yard sale moment was the life-changing point for me, and over the next several years, my wife and I vigorously studied the lives of other youth. We found they had so much more potential and motivation for success than we or others had ever considered. We met or talked with over 140 youth who started their own businesses, including landscaping, baking, computer work, singing, and more.

While starting a business for youth was an exciting adventure, the true message was, given the right tools and opportunities, youth develop a strong sense of work, accomplishment, have high self-esteem, and resiliency from the negative messages the world attacks them with.

As parents, we often get a deluge of requests from our children than may seem frivolous or even harmful, but if you are prepared, those little moments can give your children the kind of return they need to be happy in life. Regardless of where your child goes in life, each of the Action Steps below can be used to give them the tools of confidence and self-sufficiency they'll need to succeed.

Action Steps

• Visit with your child and learn what he or she likes to do.

• Make it a practice to compliment your child more for their talents and to lovingly criticize or correct them for their mistakes.

• Encourage your child to use their talents to help others.

• Look for opportunities to make work or chores enjoyable.

• Ask your child what they want to do as a job later in life; ask if your child wants to visit or interview those who are already performing that kind of work.

The post How children become successful in life appeared first on FamilyToday.

My son immediately went into a bargaining mode and tried to convince me he could sell the Xbox on eBay. I was skeptical and, thinking I could dissuade him, said, "If you don't sell it within a couple weeks, then we will give it away."� He looked at me, smiled, then replied, "Oh, it will sell."� Less than two weeks later, my son had sold the broken down Xbox unit for more than a 400% profit.

Children Who Succeed

Since then, he and my other two children have been showcased in the news and other places for their talents and business acumen. But that yard sale moment was the life-changing point for me, and over the next several years, my wife and I vigorously studied the lives of other youth. We found they had so much more potential and motivation for success than we or others had ever considered. We met or talked with over 140 youth who started their own businesses, including landscaping, baking, computer work, singing, and more.

While starting a business for youth was an exciting adventure, the true message was, given the right tools and opportunities, youth develop a strong sense of work, accomplishment, have high self-esteem, and resiliency from the negative messages the world attacks them with.

As parents, we often get a deluge of requests from our children than may seem frivolous or even harmful, but if you are prepared, those little moments can give your children the kind of return they need to be happy in life. Regardless of where your child goes in life, each of the Action Steps below can be used to give them the tools of confidence and self-sufficiency they'll need to succeed.

Action Steps

• Visit with your child and learn what he or she likes to do.

• Make it a practice to compliment your child more for their talents and to lovingly criticize or correct them for their mistakes.

• Encourage your child to use their talents to help others.

• Look for opportunities to make work or chores enjoyable.

• Ask your child what they want to do as a job later in life; ask if your child wants to visit or interview those who are already performing that kind of work.

The post How children become successful in life appeared first on FamilyToday.

As my dad spoke to our taxi driver today, we learned about his and his wife's struggle to work many jobs in order to raise their two children properly. Thirty years ago, he moved from Ethiopia to a place near the city. During the eighties they lived in the worst conditions in the worst part of town where drugs and crime were rampant. They were, however, able to help their children rise above that lifestyle by encouraging them to obtain, and supporting them in the pursuit of, a quality education. Their children are now college graduates. This driver's story, as well as the stories of the many other drivers we had the opportunity to visit with, really touched me. They aren't recognized for their accomplishments. Most people they serve each day usually don't take the time to recognize them as a person or even thank them. The next time others provide you with a service, think about who they are and their life story. Many of them live humble lives of service and sacrifice.

The service and sacrifice of parents and teachers help ensure a better quality of life. Their contributions are significant! Their efforts can and do make a difference in the lives of children. There is no more important work than the work they do in homes and schools. They are truly the forgotten heroes of our time.

The recognition given to many of today's celebrities has little to do with heroism or contributions to society. On the other hand, parents and teachers regularly sacrifice to improve the lives of children. These actions are heroic in every sense of the word. Joseph Campbell said: "The end of the hero's journey is not the aggrandizement of the hero...The ultimate aim of the quest must be neither release nor ecstasy for oneself, but the wisdom and the power to serve others. One of the many distinctions between the celebrity and the hero...is that one lives only for self while the other acts to redeem society"� (The Hero with a Thousand Faces, 2008).

What can we do to recognize and support these unsung heroes? Consider the following:

• Actively seek out opportunities to express appreciation. Just one kind word can make all the difference in how a person feels.

• Choose to see the good in others. Look for their positive characteristics. Everyone has a combination of weak and strong traits. People tend to live up to our expectations, and if we look for positive aspects in a person's character, then we'll probably find them.

• Be patient with others. Try to empathize with what they might be going through. Don't jump to conclusions about the parent with a screaming toddler in the grocery store or the teacher who is late correcting your child's homework. You don't know what specific trials they might be having. Rather than get upset, offer to help. As you do, you'll find that your attitude will change toward others and they will be more patient with you.

It has been said that our children are our future. We can help create a better future by recognizing and supporting the people who have the greatest impact in our children's lives.

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