We deserve to feel known, loved and guided by our creator, but how do we start such a meaningful relationship?

Studying the scriptures is one of the most effective ways to get to know him, but they can seem overwhelming. The language can be hard to understand and the stories don't always appear to be relatable. While we've all experienced these kinds of defeat, a little bit of persistence goes a long way. The more time we invest in the scriptures, the sweeter the words will become.

When we study Bible verses, we are blessed beyond measure. Here are some of the blessings that will bring you closer to God:

1. We'll feel his love

When we spend time in the scriptures and learn of all the things God has given us, we will begin to feel his love more easily. We'll be more likely to pray to him and that opens another very personal door to feeling his love.

The stories of God's other children will resonate with us. We'll learn how some have gladly given their lives because they loved God. We might question if we'd have that same devotion, but our hearts will still understand the sentiment.

2. We'll learn to love him

We love those we know. When we read time and time again of God answering prayers, showing mercy, and empowering people to part seas and survive floods, we grow to know him. He becomes more familiar to us. We are more able to see him as a loving father. And isn't it hard not to love someone who loves us so completely?

3. We'll grow to be like him

Many of us will turn into our parents in one way or another, because how they do things and treat people are what we know. Once we grow closer to God, it will be easier to be like him and do the things he would have us do. Some things will always need to be done out of obedience, but we will do them because we love God.

4. We'll feel peace

We can find great peace when reading the scriptures, even though the reasons for our peace aren't always clear. Perhaps it is because we're studying holy words, or learning about righteous people or because we're doing something we know the Lord would have us do. The reasons don't necessarily matter so much as the sense of relief that peace can give us, even for a short time.

As with all things concerning the Lord, the blessings of studying the word of God are innumerable and specific to you. They will all bring you closer to him.

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You probably beat yourself up because your house isn't clean enough, you don't do all the things you think a good or successful person should do or you think you should be stronger. While wanting to improve is a good thing, you are probably way harder on yourself than you would ever be on another person.

Louise L. Hay, a bestselling author and motivational speaker, presents an idea that may be foreign to most of us. She says, "You've been criticising yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens."

She's right, isn't she?

It's time to change.

Self-compassion is basically being a good friend to yourself. If a friend were beating themselves up about having a less-than-clean house, you would probably remind them that they were busy spending quality time with their kids and that is far more important. You would tell a friend with unrealistic ideas of productivity that the few good things they are doing are enough. And the friend who thinks they should be stronger than letting tough situations affect them? Well, you would tell them they're strong because they are letting themselves feel the hurt and anger instead of brushing those feelings aside and pretending what they're going through is not happening.

You recognize that those around you are worthy of your compassion. Here is why you do:

Self-compassion allows you to have compassion for others

This idea is what really got me to consider self-compassion. My negative thoughts about myself do not just affect me. They affect how I treat others, and I find it unacceptable to treat others the way I treat myself.

I'm sometimes hard on people in my life. While some of that is a defense mechanism, the better part of it is because that is how I am accustomed to responding to myself. I want treat myself better so I can love others better and be more lovable.

Self-compassion gives you energy

It actually takes a lot of energy to be critical of yourself. And nobody thrives in a negative or relentless environment, especially when it is an environment we have created for ourselves.

When you give yourself a little space to be human, I believe you free up some energy that you can use to do more productive things with instead.

Self-compassion is healing and empowering

I know about trials. And I know that I make them harder when I judge myself for not responding to them in the way I think a perfect person would.

My current set of trials gives me plenty of opportunities to practice compassion toward myself. For example, I had an insane amount of work to do last weekend but was not physically or mentally equipped to do it. So do you know what I did instead? I took a nap. And then I took a walk. And then I slept in the next day. While I still wish I didn't allow myself to do those things, I am more rested and have a clearer mind than I have had in months. I have been able to work like a champ ever since.

I can dwell on how essentially lazy I was, or I can acknowledge that allowing myself to do the things my heart, mind and body needed is enabling me to function at a higher level than I thought possible right now. This not only made a way for me to accomplish the things on my plate last weekend, but it also will help me be able to see these trials through. And I feel great.

If I - an openly Type A, OCD (and whatever other label we associate with people stuck in rigid, often self-critical ways) - can be open to treating myself a little better, surely you have it in you too.

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Divorce is devastating. There is not an area of your life it does not affect, at least in the beginning. While there are still times I wonder why I had to endure such a heartbreaking experience, I am grateful for the opportunity it has given me to find a much greater love and live a far better life.

There's something empowering about hitting rock bottom, something that makes you want to fight. Here are some of the ways I was able to move forward and rise above the years of heartache:

Choose not to hate

I'm not saying you have to forgive your ex right away or that you should pretend you are not so hurt that you don't know how to exist some days. I'm saying that there will come a moment — for me it was during an alimony negotiation — where you have to choose to let go. If you hold on to your anger and focus on the hurt, it will consume you. Don't give a bad experience more power over you than it has already taken.

We all know this is easier said than done. Turn to the Lord for help letting go.

You are stronger than you think

Feeling unloved and betrayed by the person you thought would love you the most for the longest is truly unfathomable. Everything you imagined your future would be shatters, and even your view of the past changes. But you fight through it. It doesn't matter if today's struggle is getting out of bed or holding it together at work on the day you sign your divorce papers. You are bigger than this, which means you are strong enough to handle whatever comes next.

There is love and support all around

Once divorce is on the table, you can no longer hide your struggle. Having to share such a heartache with others may initially be embarrassing or make you feel uncomfortably vulnerable, but the love and support you find in doing so will sustain you.

For me, the four men I worked for during my divorce were instrumental in my survival during those months. One was there to talk whenever I needed it, another was like a big brother who would counsel me, the one I was the least close with became teary-eyed with me once and, when I eventually started to date again, the fourth one was protective and went out of his way to make sure the guys in my life were not jerks. It was a somewhat unlikely place for that level of support, but they were my saving grace.

You get to rebuild yourself

In relationships, especially bad ones, it is easy to lose yourself. By the time you reach divorce, you probably don't know what makes you happy anymore or how you feel about the little things.

The new, post-divorce me bought skinny jeans (hey, it was years ago), ate a lot of sandwiches (my ex hates bread), and tried to find music that I like, not just that my ex and I liked as a couple. I found that I really love Zumba. I also committed to working towards a career that would bring me to life, instead of just paying the bills.

Who knows what your little revelations or life-changing realizations will be. But that is part of the fun of getting to rebuild yourself after a divorce.

You don't need all the answers to find peace

There are a lot of unknowns when everything you thought your life was changes. Even if divorce is a relief, you probably won't know exactly how to move forward. You'll probably wonder:

Why did this have to happen? Did I do something wrong? Will I ever get married again? Am I even lovable?

I don't know those answers, and you won't either, at least for a while. But those answers are not necessary for you to find peace. Peace can come by pouring your heart out to the Lord in prayer for as long as it takes each day. It can come by spending time with those who love you and remind you that there is still good in your life. You probably have an idea of what you need to get through, so go do that.

God has better things in store for you

I married someone who had pretty much everything on my list of what I wanted my husband to be. While I wish someone would've told me that my list was awful, I learned that the Lord is bringing me to better things. The years following my divorce have been purifying. The struggle has been intense. But the Lord has been watching out for me, growing my heart. I have been able to love in a way I didn't know I should have been loving all along. I'm not yet to my "happily ever after" and you may not be either, but we have to believe that it is coming.

Amazing experiences can come from being alone

I would choose to be married — for the most part — over being single, but that hasn't kept me from having amazing experiences in my second singlehood. I have made some amazing, lifelong friends who have loved me wholly — something I craved after years of feeling unlovable — and helped me experience things I never would have been exposed to if I wasn't single.

I realized that I have stronger family relationships because I have been able to take trips to visit family members and interact with them in ways that might not have been possible if I was married. And I got a little extra one-on-one time with my grandma, which is now invaluable because she passed last year.

Being single is sometimes pretty dreadful — especially in your mid-thirties in a small-ish town — but that doesn't mean there aren't some serious perks you should take advantage of while you can.

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