It was their appearance that made me stare. The boys' faces were dirty, their hair long and unkempt. The girls' hair was just as bad, snarled and twisted around their faces like dried weeds. Their stained, tattered clothing barely fit, revealing many scabs and small bruises upon their skin.

Then there was the smell. The air stirred as they passed by me, an odor of dried urine and animal feces. Older kids around me made audible sounds of disgust.

One day the oldest boy, who I think was fourteen, got on the bus with burn marks around his wrists. I asked him where they came from. He said he was tied up all night as easily as if telling us what he ate for dinner.

Although my gut told me from the very beginning that something was wrong with the children's situation, I never said anything to my mother until after I heard the boy's casual confession. My mother was calm and thanked me for telling her. Within a few weeks I never saw those children again. My mom said the state came to help them.

Looking back, I wish I would have said something sooner, but as a child I didn't know the signs of child abuse.

Make your children aware of these signs of child abuse so if the time comes, they can help a child in need.

Warning signs of emotional abuse in children

• Is excessively withdrawn, fearful, or anxious about doing something wrong

• Shows extremes in behavior (extremely compliant or extremely demanding; extremely passive or extremely aggressive)

• Doesn't seem to be attached to the parent or caregiver

• Acts either inappropriately adult (taking care of other children) or inappropriately infantile (rocking, thumb-sucking, throwing tantrums)

Warning signs of physical abuse in children

• Has frequent injuries or unexplained bruises, welts, or cuts

• Is always watchful and "on alert," as if waiting for something bad to happen

• Has injuries that appear to have a pattern such as marks from a hand or belt

• Has injuries that appear to have a pattern such as marks from a hand or belt

• Shies away from touch, flinches at sudden movements, or seems afraid to go home

• Wears inappropriate clothing to cover up injuries, such as long-sleeved shirts on hot days

Warning signs of neglect in children

• Clothes are ill-fitting, filthy, or inappropriate for the weather

• Hygiene is consistently bad (unbathed, matted and unwashed hair, noticeable body odor).

• Untreated illnesses and physical injuries

• Is frequently unsupervised or left alone or allowed to play in unsafe situations and environments

• Is frequently late or missing from school

Warning signs of sexual abuse in children

• Has trouble walking or sitting

• Displays knowledge or interest in sexual acts inappropriate to his or her age, or even seductive behavior

• Makes strong efforts to avoid a specific person, without an obvious reason

• Doesn't want to change clothes in front of others or participate in physical activities

• Has a sexually transmitted disease or is pregnant, especially under the age of 14

• Runs away from home

The post Help your children recognize the signs of child abuse appeared first on FamilyToday.

A child's self-esteem has a significant impact on everything he does - the way he interacts with others, performs in school, and deals with challenges. A child with a low self-esteem will often speak negatively about himself. "I'm so stupid,"� "I can't do that,"� I'm not good at anything."� They may give up easily or tend to be overly critical. They may become passive and not want to interact with others.

If you see any of these signs in your children, your child probably has a low self-image. Here are some things you can do to help build your child's confidence.

Praise your child for good behavior

When they are doing well, tell them. Take the time to notice. You notice bad behavior, so why not the good?

Say "I love you"� every day and back it up with actions

Children need to feel loved, especially during rough times. Remember that it is the child's behavior you don't like, not them.

Listen and observe

Make time to listen to your child and pay attention to non-verbal communication (body language). Sometimes it will tell you the truth about how your child really feels.

Teach your child to think positively

To do this, leave notes around the house with encouraging words or slip a note saying, "I love you"� into their backpack or lunch bag.

Place a picture of your family next to the child's bed

This will remind them every day that they are not alone. They have support and love from people that care about them.

Set goals

Help your child set short-term goals such as, reading by themselves, trying out for a team, completing a project, whatever you think would be a challenge to them, no matter how small. When they accomplish it, reward them through praise.

Show them the "positives" in every situation, even the bad ones

Bad experiences are good opportunities to teach our children how we can learn and grow from everything we do in life.

Show empathy

If your child compares himself negatively to his siblings or friends ("John is a faster runner than I am"�). Show them empathy by understanding their emotions and feelings, then show them one of their strengths. For example, say, "John can run fast, but you draw beautiful pictures."� This teaches your child that we all have strengths and weakness, and that's OK.

Teach your child service

A couple of times a week, help your child find ways to do something nice for someone else. Whether it's a kind word to a friend, or raking a neighbor's leaves, service of any kind builds strong character and produces positive feelings.

Help children with learning disabilities understand their situation

Knowledge is power. Give your child information about their disability instead of sheltering them. This will help your child feel like they are in control of their situation and that things can be done to help them, whether it's outside resources or even a support group.

The post How to deal with a child who has a low self-image appeared first on FamilyToday.

Because of this, I had to rely on my children for help keeping up on the housework and meals. Here are some ways I kept my household from becoming a chaotic mess.

Have a Switcheroo Night

I do this once a week. The kids love it. Basically it means that the kids become the parents, and I become the child. They are in charge of dinner, often cooking simple things like pancakes and eggs, sandwiches, ramen noodles, hot dogs - whatever their level of expertise is. Each child has a job, with the youngest usually in charge of stirring the punch or setting the table.

This has been a great success, and often they request Switcheroo Night more than once a week. I have no objections to that. FYI: Switcheroo Night includes cleanup.

Keep Snacks On Lower Shelves

I like to keep the bread and peanut butter on a lower shelf where all my kids can reach it, even my three-year-old. If they're hungry, they know where to go. I also include apples and bananas. Sometimes they make a mess, but it's worth it. My youngest son feels like such a big boy. Especially when he brings me one of his gooey, squished sandwiches.

Teach Kids How To Do Laundry

I hate laundry. It's a never-ending cycle of dirt and smells. Because of my disdain for cleaning dirty clothes piles, I employed the kids early on to help me with it.

The cycles on washers are easy to understand, and once I show a child how to do it a few times, he or she understands. The only part the younger ones need help with is switching the clothes from the washer to the dryer. I have a step stool for this. My youngest daughter, who is six-years-old, has no problems starting or switching the laundry.

When it comes to folding, I carry the laundry into the living room and start tossing clothes into piles. My toddler loves helping with this part. Each kid then takes a turn and folds his or her pile and puts it away. They don't always put their clothes in the right drawers, but once it's out of my sight, I don't care where it goes. I just don't want to see it for a long time.

Being a mom is tough. It's hard to do it all, but we must remember that we have a family to help us. Let them. It's amazing what kids can do if you let them. Not only will it make your life easier, but it will also help them learn independence and confidence. And isn't that our ultimate goal as parents?

The post Teaching your children to become independent appeared first on FamilyToday.

What would happen if a superhero didn't have these good qualities? Despite his or her super abilities, he or she would just be an average person with some cool powers. But no one would look up to the hero and no one would want to be like him or her. It's what a person does with his or her abilities that make them a superhero.

Superheroes know how to make others feel of value. And, fortunately, every quality a superhero possesses, our children can obtain too. Let's go over a few of these.

Courage

Life takes courage. Every day. And it comes in different forms. For some, simply going to school takes courage, or for others, standing in front of a crowd takes courage. Courage is a kind of strength, power or resolve to meet a scary circumstance head on. Teach your children that even in small moments we can be heroes.

Compassion

Compassion is the ability to understand the emotional state of another person or oneself. It gives a person a desire to reduce the suffering of another. Take your children on walks and point out an unhappy child or maybe a lost puppy. Look for ways to show compassion whether it's to siblings or friends. Unfortunately, there's suffering all around us if we're willing to see it.

Selflessness

This is a hard attribute to teach children. Selflessness means we act without thought for how we will profit or be rewarded. One way to teach selflessness is to show our children how their actions will make other people happy. For example, have an older sister read to a younger sister even though the older child thinks it's boring. Teach the older daughter that her actions are to help bring joy to someone's life. Give your children opportunities to help others whether it's working in soup kitchens, donating their time at a secondhand clothing store or anything that means they may have to sacrifice something that is important to them, like time or money, for the benefit of someone else.

Nonjudgmental

A superhero would never be a hero if he or she judged others. Can you imagine Superman choosing not to save someone simply because he didn't like what they were wearing? We never know how a child was raised, and we never know what type of day someone has had. Teach your children not to automatically assume certain things about others. Teach them to treat others the same way they would want to be treated.

Humble

Superheroes are always humble. When they win a fight, they don't rub it in the criminal's face—they don't run up and down the streets, claiming their victory. They quietly disappear into the night, knowing that tomorrow will bring another battle. Being humble means to do the best job you can while also respecting those around you. Teach your children to always say "good job"� to others and to even go as far as helping other kids achieve their goals all without expecting anything in return.

So the next time your child expresses a desire to be like a superhero, explain to them why he or she too can be a superhero-a real-life superhero.

The post Tell your children they can be superheroes, too appeared first on FamilyToday.

Luckily, in today's modern world, staying in contact is easy to do. Most teachers provide their email addresses to all students and parents, and some even request text messaging as a means of communication. Even the school principal is often accessible through telephone, email, and school's website.

However, just because we have this great technology doesn't mean there aren't problems. Teachers frequently say that they wish parents would interact with them more, and take a more active role in their children's education. Here are ten tips to help you communicate with your children's teachers and principals more efficiently.

Make the time

Even though you are extremely busy, for the sake of your child, understand how important it is to talk to their teachers and principal. This is the only reliable way to keep track of how your child is doing.

Learn the teachers'/principal's preferred method of communication

Ask your child's instructors how they want to be contacted, whether by telephone, email, text message, or even on a classroom or school blog.

Partner with teachers

When you work with teachers, your child has the best chance for success both at school and at home. Talk with teachers, and help them plan individual education routes for your child. Most teachers are perfectly happy to include interested parents in their classroom planning.

Don't assume that the teacher is aware of a problem

If there's a problem with your child at school, whether it's issues with another student or struggles with homework, never simply assume that the teacher knows about it. The same goes with the principal. Let him or her know the situation so they can help correct any problems that might have arisen.

Your child's past is important

Has your child moved a lot? Does he or she have social anxiety? Medical issues? Let the teacher know of any past issues with your child so that he or she can better accommodate your child before problems arise.

Attend school meetings

This is your chance to learn more about your child's school, especially the principal and teachers.

Read notices sent home by the school

This is the best way to stay connected and to learn about school events, activities, and news. Sign up for school email notification lists so that you don't have to rely on flyers or mail.

Go to parent-teacher conferences

These meetings are critical because this is where you find out about your child's progress and learn about any issues. Additionally, if your child's instructor sees that you are committed enough to attend these functions, then they will probably be more willing to work with you in regards to any special problems that might occur.

Remember that teachers are professionals

They have college degrees and take continuing education courses every year. If your child's teacher gives you advice, seriously consider it. He or she is not the enemy; teachers really want what's best for your child. Difficult as it might be to consider, children can sometimes demonize their teachers in an effort to turn parents against them. If your child is telling you terrible things about his instructor, then take the issue directly to the teacher to resolve it. Don't go straight to the principle or school board unless you don't have other options.

Say thank you to teachers

When things go well in class, or if you notice positive changes in your child, send a note of appreciation to the teacher (and let the principal know too). Teachers aren't often recognized for their good work. A little thank you can go a long way.

The post How to effectively communicate with your child’s teacher and principal appeared first on FamilyToday.

This leaves me in the middle. As their mother, I try to make sure I've checked and initialed their homework, signed their consent forms, made sure their lunches aren't full of junk food, provided them some kind of breakfast, and ensured their outfits mostly match and their hair is halfway presentable.

Over the years, I've learned several tips to help combat the madness.

Stagger wake-up times

I have one junior high child who catches the bus earlier. I get him up 15 minutes before the others. That way he's in the shower and usually out by the time the girls want their turn.

Get the homework and all the paper sorting done the night before

Sometimes, this can be hard, depending on after-school activities, but it removes a huge burden if we know that all papers are already tucked away in their backpacks.

Provide options for breakfast

My junior high kid doesn't like to eat breakfast, but I've found a healthy alternative. It began with my own protein shakes. He'd always ask for one, but because they were expensive I always turned him down. However, I've found that grocery stores carry a basic health shake that is much more affordable and meets all his nutritional needs.

Combat winter wake-ups

In winter, it can be especially hard waking up kids. One way I've found to get them out of bed easier is to put their outfit in the dryer for five minutes. Then, I tell them when the buzzer goes off they need to jump out of bed and get dressed into toasty warm clothes. This usually does the trick.

Kill the distractions

Shut off the TV, unplug the game systems, and hide the toys. Let your child's only goal be getting out the door.

Chill out

Whenever I'm upset or freaking out, my kids easily mirror my attitude. Often, I'll put on soft music. The tension immediately drains from the room.

The post Morning madness: Getting your children off to school without pulling out your hair appeared first on FamilyToday.

Early on, I recognized this as a problem. Since then, I've come up with several creative activities to continue my children's learning at home while making it fun and different from their normal school routine. Here are a few of those ideas.

Treasure Hunt

Before your children come home, prepare a simple treasure hunt with clues hidden in your home or backyard. These clues will get your children thinking while also teaching them to work together. Eventually, these clues will lead to a special treat in an unusual place. For example, I had my treasure hunt end in the bathtub, empty of course. I had a blanket inside and a cupcake for each child on the edge. They all thought it was so cool to be eating in the bathtub.

Cooking Class

When your children come home, have a miniature cooking class prepared. If possible, have an apron for each child, possibly made from an earlier activity. My children made theirs out of scraps of material and staples.

Here are some easy and healthy recipes you can make with them:

Frozen Dipped Bananas

Ingredients:

• 8 medium bananas, peeled.

• 8 wooden Popsicle sticks.

• 32 (oz.) semisweet chocolate, chopped or chips.

• 4 Tsp. unsalted butter.

Directions:

1. Line a sheet pan with waxed paper. Cut 1 inch off the end of each banana. Insert a Popsicle stick into the cut end of each banana, pushing the stick halfway in, leaving the other end exposed to use as a handle. Place the bananas on the sheet pan and freeze one hour (freeze ahead of time).

2. Melt the chocolate and butter in a double-boiler or you may use a heat resistant bowl placed over a saucepan of simmering water, stirring occasionally.

3. Arrange the dipping decorations, such as crushed nuts, cookies, or coconut, on several plates. Working with one prepared banana at a time dip them in chocolate and coat completely. Roll the dipped banana in the desired decorations. Transfer to the cookie sheet, and return to the freezer.

Once frozen, store the bananas in an airtight container.

Apple Dip

• 1 (8 oz.) package cream cheese, softened.

• 1/2 C brown sugar.

• 1 Tsp. vanilla extract.

Directions:

1. Stir together cream cheese, brown sugar, and vanilla extract until the sugar has dissolved, and the mixture is smooth.

2. Dip slices of apples into dip, and enjoy the heavenly goodness.

Fruit Smorgasbord

Before your children come home, prepare a spread of fruits, especially some they haven't tried. Fruits like, grapefruit, kiwi, and pomegranates are all great ideas. This gives your children an opportunity to try new foods while teaching them about the fruit's origin. You can also do this with vegetables.

Play Charades

Have your children think of five animals or people and write them on a piece of paper. Place the slips of paper into a bowl. Let each kid take a turn and act them out for the rest of the group. This challenges your children's learning and helps them gain confidence by speaking and acting in front of groups.

The post Fun after-school activities to keep your children engaged appeared first on FamilyToday.