I was 13 years old when I had my first major depressive episode. I was younger than my age implies; I was naive. I was innocent. The "worst" thing I had ever done at that point was probably, I don't know, watch MTV even though my parents thought they had blocked the channel.

I was raised to believe in God and was taught Christian values since infancy - values I strove to put into practice even in my young life. I went to church. I said my prayers. I helped my family and tried to love everyone I came in contact with — or at least not hold grudges or get involved in petty disputes. I did my best to follow God's laws and understand what He wanted from me. In essence, I was "doing everything right."

But yet I suffered - oh, how I suffered.

I remember lying awake for hours at night, praying for my pain to be lifted. It was an anguish so deep that metaphor completely escapes me. It was paralyzing. It was black. It was consuming. I thought, "If God listens, if He really knows and loves all of His children, then He will hear my prayers. He will know that I don't deserve this, that I've done nothing wrong. If I have enough faith He will take this away from me."

But he didn't.

Walking alone

Time went on, and sometimes things were better. Sometimes they were worse. As the weeks and months and years went by, somewhere along the line I decided I'd had enough. But I didn't turn my anger at the depression, at myself, or even the people in my life who couldn't see what I needed them to see, even though I did my best to hide it from the world. No; instead, I got angry at God.

I often thought of the poem "Footprints," which tells the story of a man walking along the beach with God. He sees footprints marking the path of his life and notices that in his darkest hours there was just one set of prints, not two. When he asks God why he was abandoned in his time of need, God answers, "It was then I carried you."

I'd think about this poem and then I'd say to myself, "What a load of crap." Because God wasn't carrying me - He wasn't there, I thought; wasn't even with me at all.

Understanding God

It's been nearly 20 years since that first bleak episode with depression, though I've had many others that have been far worse. Through the decades I have learned so much about life and about God, but the fact still remains: I don't fully understand Him.

I don't know exactly what God wants me to do, though I work to understand it each and every day. I don't know why He lets bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. I don't know why some people seem to face every obstacle known to man while others seem to sail through life.

But of the many, many things that have changed since then, one thing remains the same: No matter how abandoned I have felt, I have never doubted that He is there, somewhere. Since choosing to believe that God does exist, I have seen evidence of Him even in the worst of times. I have felt the presence of heavenly help in countless forms, many of which I did not anticipate or even fully understand.

Now that I'm a parent, I'm starting to understand Him better and better every day.

Becoming more

Sometimes, I am not there when my children get hurt. Sometimes I'm not even there when they recover and move on from the fall. I cannot hold their hands and wipe their tears and guide them through every storm, or even rejoice with them through every triumph. It doesn't mean I don't love my children or that I'm not heartbroken when they are; it means I love them fiercely and want them to become more, because it is in those absences that my children find their own strength.

They learn what they're made of and what they can do - and what they can't or shouldn't do. They learn resilience, that they can be happy again even after they are consumed with sorrow. They learn that there's always another chance to try again. They learn to trust their inner voice — not just the ones whispering softly or screaming loudly all around them.

In those moments when I am not there, my children are discovering who they are, how they fit into the world around them and how to change their world. They are deciding each day who they can and want to be. In the end, these discoveries will give them the ability to trust their own instincts and rely upon their own strength. And I pray that they will be strong, that they will find stability and inner peace; that they will grow.

Changing myself and the world

Now, I'm starting to think that my 13-year-old self was right all along. God wasn't "right there." But now I'm starting to think that maybe He chose not to be there. And that's OK.

God had to step away and let me fall, again and again and again and again. He had to let me grow strong and find my inner peace. Because it's what I needed, too.

When God isn't there, it doesn't mean He doesn't love me; it means He wants me to know who I am, as He does - as a brilliantly shining soul with divine origins; continual access to spiritual guidance and protection; and infinite, wondrous potential. He wants me to remember that I am all these things and more and to know that I am capable of conquering all obstacles.

And through it all, God lets me decide whether or not to believe, to decide who I am - and He gives me the space to change when I want to be someone better. And now, He is letting me change the world in the way that only I can, with all the wisdom and strength I have gained because He wasn't "there."

Editor's note: This article was originally published on Another Mormon Mommy Blog. It has been republished here with permission.

The post When God is silent appeared first on FamilyToday.

As a certified assertiveness coach and spiritual teacher, I see a lot of women who have bought into the lie that other people are responsible for meeting their needs, whether it be for love, acceptance, physical comforts, support or happiness. Unfortunately, many wives fall victim to this mentality and have come to believe their happiness depends on their husbands-in other words, that their marriage alone will complete them and that their husbands alone will bring them joy. But it doesn't happen that way.

In my practice I help unhappy women become joyful and powerful by teaching them to solve their own problems and meet their own needs. Here are 5 mindsets these women learn to turn their marriages around and become happy wives for life.

Happy wives don't expect their husbands to read their minds

Wouldn't it be great if our husbands just automatically knew what we needed? Yeah, and winning the lottery would be pretty great too. But neither of these are likely to happen. Men are actually less attuned to non-verbal cues and emotional subtleties than women, which means they're not going to get it when you are steaming mad but don't say a thing (let alone figure out why). Happy wives know this, and they act accordingly.

Instead of giving the cold shoulder or answering inquiries with a flat, "I'm fine," happy wives are direct in their communication. They speak up when they're upset, and they tell their husbands what they need. This includes being clear about asking for help around the house: They don't nag, drop hints or complain dramatically about how much work they have to do. They state the problem, "I'm buried in housework and feeling really stressed," ask kindly for help, "Would you please take out the trash and clean the kitchen?" and accept it with gratitude, "Thank you so much. I love it when we work as a team."

Happy wives take responsibility for their feelings

Happy wives don't resort to dramatics and sarcasm when there's a conflict, and they don't blame or complain. Happy wives manage their emotions and own their feelings, understanding that they alone are responsible for how they act and what they say. They know no matter how wrong they feel their husbands are, nothing justifies berating another person or treating them with blatant anger and disrespect. These wives own up to their words and deeds, apologize when necessary and don't make it their husband's job to calm their crazy.

Happy wives spend time away from their husbands

The Beatles may have taught that love is all you need, but happy wives know better: They know we all need a little space every now and then, and they respect a husband's need for his own time.

While it can be hurtful to feel like your husband would rather play video games than watch a movie with you, happy wives don't take it personally. They know their value and worth doesn't depend on the attention of others, and they don't rely on their husbands to fulfill all of their emotional needs. Instead, they appreciate the opportunity to recharge and rejuvenate, spend time on private hobbies, nurture relationships with family and friends and just reconnect with who they are as an individual.

Happy wives allow their husbands to be where they're at in life

When you've been married for a while, it's all too tempting to want to ever so "tactfully" point out the ways in which your husband can improve. Happy wives, however, resist the urge and instead focus their efforts on appreciating their husbands for who they are. What's more, these women know it's their love that makes another person flourish, so they make it a point to compliment their husbands and show their gratitude whenever possible.

I believe the universal truth that what we focus on expands. When women seek out the good qualities in their men rather than dwelling on the bad, their husbands transform-often with miraculous results.

Happy wives know they alone must create their own happiness

I believe the number 1 reason why women are unhappy is because their needs are not being met. But happy wives know it's up to themselves to meet their own needs, not up to their husbands. Alan Cohen, author of "A Course in Miracles Made Easy," describes a healthy, loving marriage this way: "Your partner is not the screen onto which you project your unmet needs and upsets, but instead a cherished companion whom you enfold with ever-deeper appreciation."

What's more, the happiest wives know that a healthy marriage takes 2 happy people who are secure in themselves and their love for each other. As Cohen states, "Your purpose together is not to offset each other's deficiencies, but to honor and express your already-existing sufficiency. ... [Marriage] is a vehicle to bring forth the best in both of you and fan your light so it shines as brightly as possible."

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I was 13 years old when I had my first major depressive episode. I was younger than my age implies; I was naive. I was innocent. The "worst" thing I had ever done at that point was probably, I don't know, watch MTV even though my parents thought they had blocked the channel.

I was raised to believe in God and was taught Christian values since infancy-values I strove to put into practice even in my young life. I went to church. I said my prayers. I helped my family, tried to love everyone I came in contact with, avoided holding grudges and didn't get involved in petty fights. I did my best to follow God's laws and understand what he wanted from me, and I thought was on the right track. In essence, I was "doing everything right."

But, yet, I suffered-oh, how I suffered.

I remember lying awake for hours at night, praying for my pain to be lifted. It was an anguish so deep that metaphor completely escapes me. It was paralyzing. It was black. It was consuming. I thought, "If God listens, if He really knows and loves all of His children, then He will hear my prayers. He will know I don't deserve this, that I've done nothing wrong. If I have enough faith, He will take this away from me."

But He didn't.

Walking alone

Time went on, and sometimes things were better. Sometimes they were worse. As the weeks and months and years went by, somewhere along the line I decided I'd had enough. But I didn't turn my anger against the depression, myself or even the people in my life who couldn't see what I needed them to see (even though I did my best to hide my depression from the world). No, instead, I got angry at God.

I often thought of the poem "Footprints," which tells the story of a man walking along a beach with God. He sees footprints marking the path of his life and notices that in his darkest hours, there was just one set of prints, not two. When he asks God why he was abandoned in his time of need, God answers, "It was then I carried you."

I'd think about this poem, then I'd say to myself, "What a load of crap." Because God wasn't carrying me-He wasn't there, wasn't even with me at all.

Understanding God

It's been nearly 20 years since that first bleak episode with depression, though I've had many others that have been far worse. Through the decades I have learned so much about life and about God, but the fact still remains: I don't fully understand Him.

I don't know exactly what God wants me to do; though, I work to understand it each and every day. I don't know why He lets bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. I don't know why some people seem to face every obstacle known to man while others seem to sail through life. And I just don't know where He is when it all goes down.

But of the many, many things that have changed since then, one thing remains the same: No matter how abandoned I have felt, I have never doubted He exists, somewhere. Whether He was quietly suffering along with me or simply absent I'll never really know for sure, but since choosing to believe God is real, I have seen evidence of Him even in the worst of times. I have felt the presence of Heavenly help in countless forms, many of which I did not anticipate or even fully understand.

And now that I'm a parent, I'm starting to understand Him better and better every day.

Becoming more

Sometimes, I am not there when my children get hurt. Sometimes I'm not even there when they recover and move on from the fall. I cannot hold their hands and wipe their tears and guide them through every storm or even rejoice with them through every triumph. It doesn't mean I don't love my children or I'm not heartbroken when they are; it means I love them fiercely and want them to become more because it is in my absences that my children find their own strength.

They learn what they're made of and what they can do-and what they can't or shouldn't do. They learn resilience: that they can be happy again even after they are consumed with sorrow. They learn there's always another chance to try again. They learn to trust their inner voice, not just the ones whispering softly or screaming loudly all around them.

In those moments when I am not there, my children are discovering who they are and what they can do, how they fit into the world around them and how to change their world. They are deciding each day who they can and want to be. In the end, these discoveries will give them the ability to trust their own instincts and rely upon their own strength. And I pray they will be strong, find stability and inner peace and that they will grow.

Changing myself and the world

Now, I'm starting to think my 13-year-old self was right all along. God wasn't there. But I'm also starting to think maybe He chose not to be there. And that's OK.

God had to step away and let me fall, again and again and again and again. He had to let me grow strong and find my inner peace. Because it's what I needed, too.

When God isn't there, it doesn't mean He doesn't love me; it means He wants me to know who I am as He does-a brilliantly shining soul with divine origins; with continual access to spiritual guidance and protection; and with infinite, wondrous potential. He wants me to remember I am all these things and more and to know I am capable of conquering all obstacles.

And through it all, God lets me decide who I am and whether or not to believe. He gives me the space to change when I want to be someone better. And now, He is letting me change the world in a way only I can, with all the wisdom and strength I have gained because He wasn't there.

This article was originally published on Another Mormon Mommy Blog. It has been republished here with permission.__

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When school gets out, the days with your kids at home can seem long and endless. It's all too easy for parents to get complacent and give into the "lazy days of summer." But that laziness shouldn't be the norm.

Here are five ways you could be hurting your kids this summer - and what you can do to help them instead.

Letting your kids' brains go on summer vacation

Summer means a break from school, but that doesn't mean your children's days should be completely devoid of intellectual pursuits. Leanna Landsman, a teacher and education writer explains: "Without stimulating activities to keep kids' brains in gear during the lazy days of summer, their new knowledge gets hazy." As she points out, "studies find that students who 'veg out' during vacation show little or no academic growth over summer, at best. At worst, they lose one to three months of learning."

To beat the summer brain drain, look into summer programs at local museums, zoos, bookstores, parks and recreation departments, Boys and Girls Clubs, YMCAs, local universities, private preschools, and other institutions - "especially those with education departments," Landsman advises.

Excusing your kids from responsibility

Just because it's called "summer vacation" doesn't mean the kids should treat your home like a hotel and you like a maid. A lack of rules and responsibility can lead to a sense of entitlement, demanding and disrespectful behavior, and an inability to achieve goals and succeed in life. Assigning age-appropriate chores and responsibilities to your children - and ensuring that they follow through - can help them develop self-discipline, confidence and compassion for those they help.

"Chores can also teach children how to plan their own time, taking into consideration others' needs, limits and responsibilities," says Jeremy Todd, chief executive of the national helpline Parentline Plus. "They teach children about the consequences of their actions and encourage them to think about what they do, and don't do, in the course of the day."

Giving your kids too much screen time

Spending too long in front of the TV, computer, or other electronic device is not just metaphorically melting your kids' brains, it may be harming them physically and psychologically.

Set limits on the amount of time your children - and you - can spend in front of a screen. When screen time is up (or before it begins), send your kids outside to play in the sun, take them to the park, or explore the neighborhood together. Anything that's physically engaging will help your kids be more physically and emotionally healthier.

Skipping family time

During the school year it's easy for conflicting schedules and extracurricular activities to get in the way of spending time together as a family. But when school is out and activities are put on hold for the season, there's no excuse for not re-engaging as a family at least once every day. According to psychologist Donna Dawson, "Shared family time offers emotional and psychological rewards. Partners need time with each other in order to strengthen their relationship, while children need time with their parents in order to mature into well-balanced adults."

Summer is the perfect time to plan quality time together, whether it's daily dinner time, a weekly family date, or an annual family vacation. These shared activities strengthen family bonds and provide the structure and security children need to thrive, whether you're making a cross-country road trip or just having fun outside.

Planning activities every moment

On the other end of the spectrum, planning too many activities not only feeds into the entitlement mentality, but it also inhibits their ability to entertain themselves and make their fun - which doesn't just drive moms crazy, it can cause serious developmental issues later in life. "A lack of opportunities for unstructured, imaginative play can keep children from growing into happy, well-adjusted adults," according to Scientific American. "'Free play,' as scientists call it, is critical for becoming socially adept, coping with stress and building cognitive skills such as problem-solving."

Summer is the perfect time to give your kids more opportunities for free play.

"Our children need to be bored," writes mom and blogger Kristen Welch. "They need to be sent outside or to their rooms to play. They need to turn over the bag of tricks and find it empty. Because that's when they will discover they don't need stuff to fill their time. They don't need a plan for entertainment. They can create their own. And that's when summer gets magical."

Whatever your plans are this summer, do your kids a favor and let them enjoy all that summer has to offer. Del Sol provides a perfect recipe for summer fun. Visit DelSol.com for cool color-changing hats, sunglasses, shirts and more and give your kids just what they need this summer.

The post 5 ways you are hurting your children this summer and don’t even know it appeared first on FamilyToday.

One of the keys to a successful and fulfilling marriage is friendship. You were head over heels in love when you got married, but if you've noticed things have become a bit predictable, here are a few suggestions to reignite the spark and enjoy life with your spouse again.

Protect his back

Couples in the healthiest relationships act as a team. Such teamwork, marriage and family therapist Sharon Rivkin explains, "creates safety in the marriage, which then creates closeness and trust." You don't always have to agree, but your husband should always know you are on his team, even if you disagree on certain issues. And if you think he is wrong, you can still allow him the right to feel the way he feels and be supportive.

Reframe your arguments

When you're upset, it's easy to get carried away and turn a slight disagreement into a battle, especially if you feel you've done nothing wrong. But there are better ways to handle these inevitable differences of opinion.

The next time you disagree, Rivkin suggests asking yourself this question: If I this was my friend that I was upset with, how would I respond? If you look at your spouse in that light, chances are, you will approach the argument much differently.

Initiate the fun

In his book "Blueprints for a Solid Marriage," Dr. Steve Stephens highlights the strength that comes from having fun together. "Couples who know how to play and have fun together develop a bond that can carry them through the most difficult of times," he says.

"Most couples work too hard to really enjoy their life together. They feel that if they aren't doing something useful, they are wasting time," writes Dr. Steve Stephens in his book "Blueprints for a Solid Marriage."

Share a hobby

Having fun together becomes easier to do when you share common interests, and the couple that geeks out together stays together. It's one thing to enjoy a game of golf or see your favorite band in concert, but there's another level of closeness when you can learn and acquire new things, work as a team, or just indulge your nerdy side each time you engage in a shared hobby together.

Try building or refinishing furniture, cooking new cuisines, training for a marathon, learning to wakeboard, or even just exploring your love of all things "Doctor Who."

Let him be himself

Allow your husband to be who he is and like what he likes. Giving him space will show him he is respected, valued and safe. In return, he'll not only give you that same respect, but he'll also open up and be more willing to share his true self with you.

Start an offbeat tradition

When life is busy (isn't it always?), it can be hard to schedule time to get together with friends. Don't let it be your excuse with your husband. Start an unusual tradition-or two or three-you can both look forward to.

Traditions "help shape your family by creating a sense of unity, warmth and closeness," writes Tsh Oxenreider for The Art of Simple and "create memories that fill your mind with peace, love, happiness and security." Treat yourselves by creating an "impulse shopping day," celebrate the anniversary of your first date by recreating it, or kick off summer with an annual fun in the sun day, with a little help from color-changing clothing and accessories.

This article is brought to you by Del Sol. Del Sol's merchandise changes colors in the sun. The science is different for marriage, but the principle is the same - relationships can change. Let the sun shine down on your marriage as you change for the better.

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It's not rocket science or even voodoo. It just takes a little planning and a willingness to take charge of bedtime, firmly but lovingly. Follow these 10 steps to reclaiming bedtime, and those nightly hostage negotiations will be a thing of the past.

1. Stick to a schedule

You don't have to live your life by the clock, but it is important for all children to go to sleep at roughly the same time each day. The same goes for naps and wake-up times. Kids like knowing what the plan is, and a schedule trains their little bodies to know when to sleep.

2. Take care of your child's physical needs before bed

Another key part of the schedule is taking care of their physical needs before you tuck them in bed. We've all had a kid suddenly need to use the bathroom, get a drink, etc. Jennifer Waldburger and Jill Spivack, co-authors of The Sleep Easy Solution suggest stopping the game before it begins by taking care of everything your child could possibly need before bedtime. "This way," they note, "you'll be able to avoid negotiating with your child after lights out - and you'll have the peace of mind to know that all her needs have been addressed."

3. Take care of your child's emotional needs before bed

All too often a child's attempts to stall bedtime are an effort to get more of your attention. If he or she has been trying to get quality time with you all evening and bedtime is the first chance he or she gets you alone, suddenly all his or her neediness will come to the surface. Giving your child plenty of loving attention will help him or her feel secure before it's time to say goodnight.

4. Make your child's room a cozy, inviting place

"Your child's environment plays a very important role in his or her ability to sleep well," say Waldburger and Spivack, and we all want a soothing place to drift off to sleep. Tidy up the room before bed and remove anything that might be too distracting. Darken the room and use a soft nightlight, sound machine and soft bedding that provide the comfort they need to sleep sound and secure.

5. Have a bedtime routine

Kids love a healthy routine and knowing what will come next. A bedtime routine not only helps your child transition from the busy-ness of the day, it will help your child "develop sleep cues so that over time just doing the routine makes your child sleepy," Waldburger and Spivack say.

6. Give your child some choices

At certain points throughout the routine, let your kids make a few choices, like which pajamas they'll wear, which book(s) you'll read or which song you'll sing. Giving your children some measure of control over the bedtime process will weaken their resistance, making them more likely to cooperate and stop making so many contrary demands.

To keep things moving (and to help younger children), it may be best to let them choose between a few options you've preselected rather than giving them free rein. Which brings use to the next point:

7. Set clear rules about bedtime

To keep your nights from spiraling into chaos, you must set boundaries and consequences. Decide as a family what bedtime entails. Clearly lay out what your children may and may not do. Some of those boundaries will be included in the bedtime routine.

For example, if one book and two songs are part of the routine, your kids can't keep asking for more (well, technically they can, but they'll always get the same answer and soon learn that begging is fruitless). Your children also need to know what will happen if they choose to break the rules.

Having a set of rules and a plan in place will not only ensure that your children know what's expected of them, it will help you be firm and calm when rules are inevitably broken.

8. Stick to your guns

Young children figure out the world and their place in it by testing limits. If those limits change each time they push, they'll keep on pushing to see what will happen next. So don't give in to requests for "more."

Hold your children accountable for their actions and follow through with consequences - and don't lose your cool when your kids are testing the boundaries or just plain freaking out. This new nighttime routine will be a change for them and they may be upset at first.

"Once you've explained the rules around bedtime and given your child a nice bedtime routine, she'll feel some frustration as she learns that mommy and daddy will hold to the rules," Waldburger and Spivack say. But, your children will also learn that they can "cope with those limits ... and learn how to become great sleepers."

9. Give yourself a good night's sleep

You've finally ended the hostage situation and taught your kids to be excellent sleepers. Don't you deserve a great night's sleep, too? Make sure your needs are met and your to-do's are taken care of before bed, and adopt your own soothing, tech-free bedtime routine. And don't forget about those comfy sheets. Slipping into a soft, luxurious bed at the end of a long day is the perfect way to let go of your cares and peacefully slip into sweet, sweet slumber.

Visit Cariloha.com to find the perfect bedding to help you sleep well at night and make you feel like you are literally sleeping on clouds.

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Carbon monoxide

We know that breathing in carbon monoxide is hazardous and potentially deadly, but did you know that it's used to package certain foods? Carbon monoxide stops the oxidation process of meat, keeping it a bright pink color and preventing it from turning brown. Most commonly it's injected into the plastic shrink-wrap of ground beef, tilapia and tuna after the air has been sucked out of the package. The amount used is so small it's not thought to be a health risk, but consumer advocates are concerned that it hasn't been thoroughly investigated because it's approved by the FDA as a color fixative and not a color additive, according to the Washington Post. It may seem like a small difference, but it's one that requires an intensive, rigorous review.

Shellac

The origins of the shiny, glossy coating that makes hard candy so appealing is actually pretty unappealing. It all begins with the bug Kerria lacca, found in the warm forests of India and Thailand. The bug secretes a sticky substance that coats the branches of trees where it lives. The gross part? That sticky stuff it "secretes" is actually excrement. Yep, that's right: It's bug poop. But it gets worse. Those secretions are scraped off the trees, along with the bark and any bugs left behind. Everything is heated until it liquefies, then the solid matter (read: bug carcasses and bark) is filtered out and the liquid is sold as shellac or hardened into disks sometimes called "confectioner's glaze." But no matter what you call it, it still came out of a bug's rear end. Ew.

Metallic iron

The words "enriched" and "fortified" sound so wholesome, but white flour is anything but that. It's made by stripping the wheat berry of the germ and the bran, where all of the fiber and nutrients are. Then it's refined within an inch of its life until it becomes a soft, fluffy powder. Because this process is so harsh (bleaching is just one of the 20 steps needed to make enriched white flour), some of the removed nutrients are added back into the product. The trouble is, those nutrients aren't wholesome, either; they're synthetic and often toxic. The form of iron added, for example, is metallic. Not only is it almost impossible for the body to absorb, it's contained in such amounts that in one test video, generic corn flake cereal is pulled by a magnet and shards of metal can be seen in the food under a microscope.

Ammonia

Ammonia is a chemical that is both naturally and artificially created. In fact, it's produced by all mammals as part of the body's metabolism process. But that doesn't mean we should be consuming it - yet it's used in gaseous form "to kill germs in low-grade fatty beef trimmings," according to Health.com, and is found in ground beef. The FDA believes the amount used isn't likely to harm humans, but bear this in mind: Ammonia "is a corrosive substance," according to the Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry, and the most toxic effects occur when you make direct contact with ammonia in high amounts, which would cause burns in your mouth, throat and stomach.

Castoreum

I'm not going to sugar-coat this one: The next ingredient on the list also comes from an animal's butt. "Castoreum is an anal secretion beavers use to mark their territories," according to Business Insider. "It also happens to smell like vanilla." And if that doesn't gross you out, this will: "Because of its close proximity to the anal glands, the substance often contains anal secretions and urine." Castoreum is most commonly used in perfumes, but it's also been used as a food additive for more than 80 years. But you won't read "castoreum" on any food labels; because it is technically a "natural substance," manufacturers get to call it "natural flavoring."

Liquid smoke

Just what is it that gives liquid smoke that earthy, smoky flavor? It's burnt sawdust. No, really. "Liquid smoke is made by burning sawdust and capturing the components in either water or a vegetable oil," according to Health.com. "The resulting product can be purchased and added to sauces and other foods to give it that - yes - smoky flavor." You can buy liquid smoke in a bottle and use it to flavor home-cooked foods, but if you buy barbecue products like baked beans, hot dogs, bacon or beef jerky, you're likely to be consuming liquid smoke.

Carmine or cochineal extract

Bugs aren't only used for shine; they're also used for color. Carmine, which is also listed as cochineal extract or natural red 4, is a colorant that's made from the cochineal bug. "The insects are sun-dried, crushed and dunked in an acidic alcohol solution to produce carminic acid, the pigment that eventually becomes carmine or cochineal extract, depending on processing," according to Live Science. "About 70,000 insects are needed to produce a pound of dye." The Aztecs began using cochineal dye centuries ago in their textiles, and today the coloring can be found in cosmetics as well as food. In addition to being just plain nasty, it can produce dangerous allergic reactions in some consumers - the reason you'll find this ingredient listed and not hidden as a "natural substance."

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Saving your family money doesn't have to come at the expense of the environment. In fact, money-saving tricks are often better for your budget and the world around you. Everybody wins.

Here's a look at nine brilliant yet easy-to-implement "green" DIYs that can save you big bucks.

Close your closet doors

This one is so simple it's ridiculous. Closing your closet doors can reduce the square footage you need to heat or cool, saving you about $50 a year on your utility bills.

Recycle, upcycle and freecycle

"Old" is the new "new." Instead of sending old appliances, furniture, electronics and household items off to the dump, pass them on - or, if you're looking for an item yourself, consider going secondhand. Offer up your goods to friends and family or ask for what you need, or check thrift stores and websites like www.freecycle.org, which connects people to things for free.

Give your dishwasher a break

Tired of all those sippy cups filling up your dishwasher? Institute a one-cup-a-day policy to reduce the number of dishes that pile up and cut down on the number of times you have to run (and unload) the dishwasher. You'll not only save on your utility bill, you'll significantly reduce your water usage each day. If you really want to give your dishwasher the day off, fill the sink with soapy water and let your kids do the work.

Go meatless

You may think it takes a lot of water to grow an apple tree or even a head of broccoli, but do you know how much water it takes to raise a cow? The fact is it actually requires a lot more money to raise livestock than produce. Skipping animal products conserves thousands of gallons of water each year, not to mention saving you hundreds on your grocery bill annually.

Turn off the oven

Using your oven and range in the summer not only uses a lot of power during months when energy costs are at a premium, but they heat your house. Make the most of your slow cooker during the warmer months. It takes less power and doesn't heat the entire room. Or avoid the heat all together and serve up a slew of crunchy, delicious salads for dinner. Exploring the world of raw cooking can not only teach you energy-efficient and environmentally friendly ways to cook, but you'll be fueling your body with the best of what nature has to offer.

Think reusable

Of all the things you frequently throw away, there are plenty of simple ways to swap them out for reusable ones. Get each child his own lunchbox instead of using paper bags and use leftover containers instead of plastic zip baggies. Use dish towels instead of paper towels and wash rags with cleaner instead of disposable cleaning wipes. And use rechargeable batteries instead of disposable ones. Not only will you save money overall by thinking reusable, you're saving space in the landfill and reducing your footprint.

Beyond the benefits of saving money, lessening our impact on the environment isn't just good for your family, it's good for families all over the world. Check out these videos from Free To Choose Network to educate your family about the various ways you and your family can save money and help the environment.

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