João Martins – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com Here today, better tomorrow. Wed, 30 Mar 2016 06:30:00 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.3 https://wp-media.familytoday.com/2020/03/favicon.ico João Martins – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com 32 32 8 small things happy couples do every day https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/8-small-things-happy-couples-do-every-day/ Wed, 30 Mar 2016 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/8-small-things-happy-couples-do-every-day/ The way to happiness in a marriage is in the small things.

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Often, we waste our time looking for large, impressive demonstrations of love and affection but overlook an essential truth about love and happiness-small things make a big difference.

When I think of how to be happy or build great love, I think of a big tree. This wonderful work of nature can withstand storms and strong winds, but it came from such a small seed. This seed gradually became something great as it made small efforts to grow roots and pierce the earth.

The way to a happy life together also begins as a small seed, and, little by little, it becomes something wonderful. In time, this nourishing love can withstand the worst storms.

Like a seed that grows gradually, we too can gradually create a strong marriage by doing these 8 small yet highly effective and important things.

1. Say "I love you" by saying "Good morning"

How we spend the first few minutes of a morning influences the way we will feel the rest of the day. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Do you choose to smile, look over and say a loving "Good morning"? Or, when your husband or wife comes home from work, do you give a kiss and a hug and ask about his or her day?

These are small gestures that can brighten your lives.

2. Talk about your problems

Call it what you want: arguing or discussing are essential for resolving problems. Often problems are ignored because one person in the relationship is afraid of creating conflict.

It is normal to be upset when something is wrong. However, be careful to distinguish between situations that can actually be problematic-such as forgetting to help clean the house and leaving all the work to the other spouse-and situations that are small and easy to solve-like the bedding out of place or a towel on the floor after a shower.

While the little things can upset us, they should be solved with a simple conversation. The biggest issues deserve greater attention. When talking about a problem, keep the following in mind. When we go to discuss, do we want to be right or to be happy?

3. Sincerely praise and celebrate the good

Everyone knows support during hard times is important, but when something good happens to our significant other, are we able to praise and celebrate with him or her?

Praise should be given generously. Yes, big things like a job promotion should be celebrated, but also praise your husband when he folds his shirts or loads the dishwasher. Research shows praise for good things is just as important as, if not more important than, support when bad things happen.

4. Know how to have fun together

A happy couple is a couple that can have fun together. Howard Markman, PhD and co-director for family studies at the University of Denver, said, "The correlation between fun and marital happiness is high, and significant." A couple is happier if they make it a priority to have fun together. These fun times can be anything from moments at home to trips with your children.

5. Talk about all kinds of things

No matter how insignificant some details seem, sharing our lives with our spouses nurtures connection and intimacy. Details like what you ate for lunch during the workday or what you did during the day are important for each to know. Such information, although it seems small, greatly increases intimacy. Never stop asking your spouse about how the day was.

6. Laugh together

Every time you make the person you love smile, the brain releases hormones such as dopamine and oxytocin. When a couple laughs and remembers funny memories or shares something funny from the day, the two will feel happier and closer.

7. Hug, kiss and hold hands

Wendy Walsh, PhD and author, said studies of happy, long-term couples show how the frequency of kissing is more important for the safety and happiness of the couple than the frequency of sexual intercourse. Physical contact is essential to the couple's intimacy. Walk hand-in-hand, share a morning kiss before you leave, steal a spontaneous passionate kiss or give a simple hug after a long day.

8. Don't have any forbidden topics

Two people who want to be happy cannot allow certain issues to be prohibited from talking about. This includes those subjects neither wants to talk about because they fear those discussions will lead to conflict. Usually these issues are synonymous with unresolved problems, and, as was said above, healthily dealing with problems is important for happiness. Have those necessary conversations.

This article has been translated and adapted from the original, "8 pequenas coisas que casais felizes fazem todos os dias," which was originally published on familias.com.br.

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11 things that have more significance than “I love you” for men https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/11-things-that-have-more-significance-than-i-love-you-for-men/ Fri, 04 Dec 2015 15:57:43 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/11-things-that-have-more-significance-than-i-love-you-for-men/ With these 11 small gestures you can show your husband you love him without saying the words, "I love you."

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"I love you" is a phrase that everyone likes to hear, especially from the person you love. It's wonderful to hear that phrase when you wake up, during a phone call, in the middle of the day, before going to sleep or when it's said spontaneously. Knowing that someone loves us is one of the most comforting feelings.

Although they saying loving your spouse is important, showing that love is even more important. Small gestures in your daily lives demonstrate how much you love them. Here are 11 small gestures that make your husband feel loved.

1. A simple long embrace

A hug offers more comfort and safety than probably any other gesture. I think we all feel protected when we embrace the person we love. Family therapist, Carin Goldstein said that "while women are more linked to verbal communication, men puts more importance on touch." When you embrace, it can feel as if the whole world ceases to exist and there are only the two of you.

2. Listening

Many people think only women vent and men don't need to. We all have problems, and talking about them gives us relief from their weight. When you ask what is wrong, he might say "nothing," but showing that you are there to support and listening to him is a unique way to show your love.

3. Thanking him for the little things

Expressing our gratitude is a divine way to show that we love someone. Who doesn't feeling appreciated for what they do by their sweetheart? Often we are quick to criticize when things aren't the way we want them to be. Instead, be quick to thank and appreciate his small gestures of support, service and help. This strengthen the love you have.

4. Asking his advice

Every man likes to feel like an important part in the life of the woman he loves. When a man feels like his opinion or advice helped you, he feels more useful and competent. Dr. Andra Brosh, a psychologist, said, "[When a woman] asks advice, it shows she trusts the man and there is room for him in her life. The need, dependence and love go hand in hand."

5. Praise

When we sincerely praise a person, they feel appreciated, and this increases their motivation to do better. You shouldn't praise only when something big happens. Praise little efforts to stay fit or to help with homework. This will make him feel appreciated. As a result, he will feel more loved.

6. Your full attention

"When a man sees [a woman] checking her cell phone during dinner, he interprets this as 'I'm not important,'" couple's therapist, Dr. Mike Dow said.

Ignore the curiosity to check social media or write just one more text message. When two people are together, nothing should intrude between them. Attention is a way to demonstrate that we are interested and that person is important to us.

7. His favorite meal

Since I was young I heard, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." One way to demonstrate your love is to show you know what your husband likes without having to ask him directly. Dr. Mike Dow said, "Couples that know small details about each other were those who had the happiest marriages".

8. Constant physical intimacy in marriage

Physical intimacy is essential to the life and happiness of the couple; it can't be neglected. Sex has two effects on the couple: on the biological level, the release of hormones (dopamine and oxytocin) makes the person feel more cheerful and light. From a personal point of view, it's something just the two of you share. It is a physical act of love.

9. Time for himself

Sometimes he may have difficulty saying what he needs. This difficulty can simply be shyness or he may worry about hurting your feelings. He may fear that saying he needs time with friends may make you feel that he is sending the message that he doesn't want to spend time with his wife. When you encourage him to have his own hobbies and social life, trust and love will increase.

10. The dress he loves

Showing that you still want to dress up and look pretty for him is an expression of love. A man's brain is designed to respond quickly to visual cues so when a man sees the woman he loves dressed elegantly - just for him, he will see that she still cares about him.

11. Taking care of yourself

Exercise, stop harmful addictions, pamper yourself. It may seem that these are things that only affect you but also they also affect your husband. Dr. Dow said, "[Taking care of yourself] says 'I want to live a long and healthy life with you and I will do everything to take care of my health"; this may even be the incentive for him to do the same.

All these points demonstrate the simple and wonderful phrase "I love you." Through small gestures, your life together will become more happy, harmonious and above all, full of love.

This article was translated and adapted from the original article: 11 coisas que possuem mais significado que "Eu te amo" para os homens.

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6 signs your marriage will last a lifetime https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/6-signs-your-marriage-will-last-a-lifetime/ Wed, 18 Nov 2015 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/6-signs-your-marriage-will-last-a-lifetime/ Studies show that these six small changes can do wonders for your marriage.

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Journalist Mignon McLaughlin once said, "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times always by the same person." How is that possible? What can a couple do to make sure their flame of love doesn't go out? These six little things indicate your marriage will last a lifetime.

1. Companionship

Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, psychotherapists and authors of the book "Building a Love that lasts," said, "The most successful marriages are those in which spouses are also best friends."

Your love should be the first person you think of when you want to share something, whether good or bad. Share everything from the extremely intimate moments and feelings to the small, everyday details.

2. Responsibilities

Each spouse should share in daily duties. While each handles different tasks in marriage, each should take time to help in housework, with homework, watching the kids, washing dishes, cleaning, tidying, washing the car, etc.

"Having a relationship in which both of you can speak honestly if you're feeling overwhelmed, and not just lash out because someone forgot to take out the recycling one night, leads to a much stronger romance, " said Charles Orlando, author of "The problem with women"¦is men."

When you take turns helping each other out, you're less likely to be too tired to do something that many couples neglect — dating.

3. Spontaneity

Who doesn't like surprises?

Shauna Springer, PhD and author of "Marriage, for Equals" said, "Overfamiliarity is the enemy of romance, so continuing to engage in some measure of independent growth is critical."

After getting married, continue to try to surprise your loved one; for example, sign up for a dance class and surprise your love with a dance during a romantic dinner.

Surprising your partner can be as simple as romantic little notes left in a special place, or giving a bouquet of flowers without a special occasion.

4. Communication

According to this survey, couples that discuss problems instead of ignoring them have a stronger relationship than couples that avoid these hard conversations.

This doesn't mean screaming at each other, but rather talking through frustrations.

Discussing problems with the person we love helps us know what is going on in his or her soul.

5. Patience

All couples go through good times and bad. According to a 2011 survey, couples that believe their relationship will last forever have a greater chance of surviving the bad times.

When both parties are 100 percent committed to the happiness of the relationship, and mainly focused on the happiness of the person they love, they more easily find the strength to overcome difficulties.

6. Creativity

One study found that couples who do a variety of new things together are happier than couples who live routinely. It is normal to see young couples going to a dinner for two, taking walks together and creating little surprises for the person they love, but in most cases, a routine sets in after years of being together. Dating should continue even after decades of marriage.

Having one night a week for the couple to go out and have fun is the first step in breaking a routine. Be creative in creating little surprises like mentioned above. Don't allow a routine to become too comfortable.

The signs of a happy life together are summed up in these six simple words: companionship, responsibilities, spontaneity, communication, patience and creativity. These small changes to your everyday life can do wonders for your marriage.

_This article was originally published on familia.com.br. It has been translated and adapted from the original article,"6 sinais de que seu casamento irádurar a vida inteira

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