John is a man who's an amazing husband and father. However, has certain habits that damage his wife's self-esteem.

Every Sunday, John and his wife Julie take their six-year-old daughter on a walk in the park. Their day is peaceful, but Julie often spends these Sundays discouraged, unbeknownst to her husband.

Julie is upset that her husband stares and turns his head every time another beautiful woman passes them on the trail. Julie is a confident and overall is happy in her marriage, but she can't help but feel bad when this happens.

This is just one example of how a husband can hurt his wife's self-esteem without knowing even it. However, there are many others. As a partner in this marriage, part of your role as a spouse is to uplight your wife - you can't do that if you're unknowingly destroying her sense of confidence.

Instead, boost her sense of confidence by doing these things:

1. Notice when she changes her appearance

Men are notorious for not noticing when a woman changes her makeup routine, hair style or when she wears new clothes. Your wife would never admit it, but she wants you to notice. She likes to look good for you, so noticing small details can go a long way.

Comment when you notice even a small change. Ask her what she did differently, tell her she's gorgeous and that you love her new look.

If you hate her new hair or whatever it is she changed, focus on the effort she made to switch up her look. She's still the same person under that red, red hair. The most important thing is that she's happy and comfortable with her change - love her for that confidence.

2. Let everyone know you're proud of her

Women love to feel valued. Never make your wife feel like you're ashamed to be with her. Tell people about her accomplishments, hold her hand and walk proudly with her in public. Help her focus on her goals and achieve them - be her cheerleader and her support team.

3. Don't look at other women

If you accidentally glance at a woman who isn't your wife, it's not the end of the world. Everyone does it and it can't be avoided unless you insist on walking around with your eyes closed. However, when you're intentionally seeking out woman to stare at, it's a serious blow to your sweetheart's self-esteem (and the health of your marriage).

Ask yourself how you would feel if your wife was constantly seeking out other men to stare at. You probably wouldn't love it, and she doesn't either. Keep your eyes on your wife and see how she smiles.

4. Self-esteem is important

No matter how self-confident you are, there are things that take a blow to your self-esteem, even if it's not intentional. Married life should allow both partners to live a life full of love, understanding and support. It's crucial that both husbands and wives work to build up their spouse to create a healthy and happy marriage. Never underestimate how important it is to treat your spouse with love, kindness and respect.

This article was adapted and translated from the original "Dale a tu esposa el puesto que se merece" which was originally published on familias.com.

The post How to build your wife up instead of tearing her down appeared first on FamilyToday.

One of the most difficult decisions that a man faces is choosing to marry and have a family. The next biggest decision he faces is choosing whether to pack up his things and leave the home that he has built with his one true love when times are tough.

I write this article for those men who remain at home struggling with the desire to leave their families. I write with the hope that they will truly contemplate their options before leaving.

Don't make excuses

Though you have made excuses and fought with your wife about difficult situations in the past, love truly can resolve conflict.

There are times when I want to distance myself from my husband. This is normal. Time away from each other is healthy. However, if you start to feel like your time apart is better than being together, pledge to love your wife more. Love can heal the cracks in your marriage.

Men make dozens of excuses when asked why they left their family. Loss of love, incompatibility, constant bickering, etc are all excuses. But I ask the question: Is there an obstacle too large to put aside for your loving wife and children who love and need you?

Don't forget the commitments you made across the altar where you promised to be with your wife though the good times and in the bad times.

Take time and be sincere

Men by nature tend to be introspective; they do not easily express their feelings or their thoughts. What I suggest to you - as the husband - is to remember that it is difficult for your wife to understand what is happening to you when you do not tell her.

If you need some time to clear your mind, take it. Reflect, analyze, and understand your feelings before you share them with your wife. Distance yourself from the distractions that are pulling you away from your spouse and children.

Love is a decision

Love is a decision. A marriage cannot be stand strong solely based on the passion you had for each other years ago. As time passes, your love grows stronger based on time spent together, and trials endured as a couple. Don't abandon ship when things get difficult. It is not impossible to recover from such trials. Remind yourself how you feel about your wife by remembering how things were when you first got married, and how great things can be if you decide to continue loving her.

You are not just leaving a house behind

Leaving your family is not like moving; it is leaving behind dreams, desires, and any hope you had with your once loving wife and children. The children who you have created need you in order to grow. Your example to them is everything. You deciding to leave impacts their lives more than you can imagine.

Seek God and take refuge in his word

The best way to achieve insight and strength is through prayer. Pray with faith and trust in God.

Choose to endure

I have met men, family, friends, and acquaintances who have either decided to leave, or have had a husband who left their family. It always brings me sadness to see everything they left behind.

Why take the happiness, companionship, and stability out of your life? Though things aren't perfect, you can work through it. A relationship needs to be nurtured and built, not abandoned. Choose to stay, and know you have made the right choice.

If you have left your family, know that God can help your journey to forgiveness. He can help humble yourself and receive forgiveness from your family.

This article has been adapted and translated from the original

"Un hombre que abandona a su familia siempre se arrepiente," which was published on Familias.com

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When faced with infidelity, people like to look for reasons to cheat such as, "I no longer love you", "It's not romantic anymore", "He ignores me", "My life is boring", "I no longer feel a spark", "The house is a mess." And of course, we could go on and on listing more reasons. However, if we look closely, it is clear that they all have two things in common: first, justifying the infidelity and second, blaming the partner.

Love demands a commitment that must go beyond a feeling, which can wear out or be devalued. It is clear that one does not get to infidelity, if one is willing to closely follow a path that is known to many: communicating to re-start the relationship if it is falling into monotony and growing continuously, both individually and as a couple.

It amazes me how many of those who commit an infidelity did not even have any motive or reason to: suddenly in the office or on the street, someone throws them a look, a compliment, smile at them, are friendly and there you are; no reason is needed. Some people are willing to lose family, employment and even friends. Some regret the consequences, but after the damage is already done.

Much has been said about infidelity, but beyond the reasons or how to overcome it, I want to highlight this simple guide on how to become trustworthy. Because it's possible to remember to love despite temptation, and this temptation should not exceed values, wisdom and the love of your family.

There is a way to become very rational and not be swayed by the moment. Here are some of the guidelines:

Avoid temptations

If you suddenly feel attracted to a person other than your husband or wife, avoid it. Do not perpetuate intentional encounters with this person; always remember that you have a commitment to your family and your spouse waiting for you at home.

Think of the consequences

This is a wise and practical advice we all know, but it needs to be practiced more. However, it will be incredibly useful if you are thinking of taking a wrong step in your relationship. Just stop and think what will happen when your spouse finds out you are unfaithful?

Don't think it will not happen; they will find out, so don't underestimate your partner. So ask yourself if you're willing to lose the trust and love of your husband or your wife; think of the pain that causes your children and the image they have of you. Are you willing to risk what you've built with your spouse from years of love, effort and dedication?

Think about their feelings

Put yourself in your spouse's place and think to yourself this simple question: how would you feel if you find out you're being deceived?

Find out if something is failing in your relationship

Ask yourself: what really attracts me to this person? It is likely that this attraction is unveiling something wrong in your marriage or with your spouse.

Leave curiosity alone

For those whose motivation is the desire to experience new things, remember, feeling something "new" is not worth sacrificing what you have. If you really need a change and something new in your emotional life, talk it over with your spouse.

Infidelity opens a deep wound that is next to impossible to heal, despite forgiveness and new opportunities, nothing will be the same. Once confidence has been undermined, once the commitment is gone in a relationship, it is almost impossible to recover. So think twice the next time you feel that things are not going well, and you think the only solution to the situation is being unfaithful.

This article is a translation from the original article "La infidelidad, esa delgada linea que al cruzar no tiene retorno" on Familias.com.

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Allie had just gotten home from work and was running from room to room, looking for her dress and heels for the New Year's Eve party. Although she and her husband both planned on going to the company party that evening, Aleida soon realized she couldn't find him. Since she didn't want to be late, she decided to go to the party, hoping he came later. Hours later she received a message from Jake, her husband; "I just got home and I'm exhausted. Enjoy your evening out." Even though he had promised to be there, Jake wouldn't be coming.

This is a story repeated again and again in many marriages. At the beginning of a relationship, you wouldn't dream of breaking a promise! However, as time goes on, love seems to die. Allie starts to go to family events by herself, and Jake is hardly ever home for dinner.

Luckily for Allie and Jake, they made the choice to not let their marriage disappear. She thought about how much she loved her husband and realized the two of them were responsible for the coldness and indifference in their marriage. Determined to not let love be abandoned, Allie left the party and went home as soon as she got her husband's message. The two were able to talk things out, and made goals to have love be at the forefront of their marriage.

Why does love die?

In almost every case, love dies because the small details are forgotten. Eventually, tiny acts of service are abandoned, and gratefulness is no longer present in the relationship. It seems like a small thing, but these little actions help nourish a marriage on a day-to-day basis. Be sure to nurture your love consistently by doing these things:

Find resolution

Solving conflict quickly in everyday life is key to avoid major conflicts that generate resentment in your relationship. Don't let days go by without discussing an issue that is bothering you. Some couples choose to not bring up concerns to avoid an argument or to spare feelings. However, when a major problem is discussed, all these little things are going to come to the surface. Don't let unresolved issues be like fuel to a fire; choose to find resolution early on to avoid killing the love in your marriage.

Be considerate

There will be differences in your marriage, but that's okay! It's only a problem when there is no give and take in the relationship. Be considerate of the differences in your marriage. Allie knows that Jake is likely to be late, but chooses to leave without him. Jake might not want to go to a social event, but he should have made more of an effort to let Allie know his feelings about going before it was too late. When you act without considering how it will affect their partner, love disappears. Seek out opportunities to share your thoughts and opinions about how situations will be handled.

Express love

If a couple starts to physically distance themselves, that emotional distance is also going to increase. Don't stop the hugs and kisses, even when you don't feel like being affectionate. The longer you wait to express your love, the harder it is going to be. Tell your spouse you love them often, and show love in your actions.

Remember special dates

Downplaying events like anniversaries or birthdays is another way for love to disappear from your relationships. Remember that marriage is a shared experience; don't let those milestones go by unnoticed. Start traditions to create a unique identity as a couple; while the both of you are two separate individuals, you must also share certain celebrations that remind you of your life together. Don't let these events slip by unnoticed.

Avoiding monotony

Getting stuck in a routine can be lethal for love. Just living life day in and day out leads to boredom and apathy. Every minute doesn't need to be adventurous, but avoid falling into the monotony of married life at all costs.

This is a translation and adaptation of the original article, "Así muere el amor". It has been republished here with permission.

The post Why does love disappear in a marriage? appeared first on FamilyToday.

"Why did my husband fall in love with another woman?" It can haunt your every thought, but isn't simply answered. Despite commitment and communication in a marriage, infidelity can still occur. Asking yourself "What went wrong" or "What did I do wrong" are painful questions, but they can help get you to the answer you are looking for. The saying goes that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. While that's not entirely true, it does truthfully state that men and women are different...very different. Of course, this isn't a secret; but the problem is that we rarely realize men and women are so different. When things might be going well for you, things might not be for your husband. Here are some reasons why he might choose to be unfaithful.

He is looking for a friend

Men hope to find a woman who is emotionally intimate; a woman who listens, who understands, a woman who is not afraid to talk about anything. That woman does not react impulsively, she understands without judging and doesn't reply with "I told you." While this type of woman can exist in his wife, not having this level of understanding may provoke a man to find someone who can fulfill another aspect of his relationship.

Men adore playing

Men might be looking for someone who is not afraid to be carefree and spontaneous. Marriage brings responsibility, no matter how good the marriage is. Men who feel tied down by commitment will seek a woman that likes to run from responsibility, someone who is a little childish and will indulge his habits of playing ball or video games. If this playfulness and fun attitude isn't present in marriage, it could explain why he left.

He wants an independent woman

It seems silly, but husbands often seek a woman who is independent. Though they've made a commitment in marriage, it's not really what they want. They are looking for a woman who doesn't really revolve around them or your family. It's a bit paradoxical because that's who you were before you got married. In essence, this type of man is chasing something he can't ever have.

He wants a happy woman

Men want to make women happy. If it seems like happiness is a hopeless situation in his own marriage, he might see to make another woman happy outside of his marriage. Though you both have been happy together in the past, your relationship isn't where he'd like it to be right now. He's seeking to make someone else happy because he doesn't think he can do the same for you.

He is looking for something you don't have

Recently, a friend told me: "I love feminine women." It's a selfish choice to think that your wife - the woman you are committed to - isn't "what I want," but it happens. It's a shallow reason to cheat on your wife, but some men rationalize that they want to be with someone younger or with someone that is different from you.

He hates tears

My personal conclusion is that some men cheat on their wives because they hate feeling guilty or responsible for our pain and suffering. It seems easier to choose to do something so wrong, so they no longer are responsible for making things all better again. It's a selfish way out of a situation, but it does give an escape: an escape that usually results in divorce.

These reasons are hard to read, but they could give a glimpse into why this happened. Learn the ways you and your husband are different. Talk about things in depth; don't ignore hurt feelings, complaints, or praise. Remember, it's the lasting behaviors that create understanding and love...things that will hopefully prevent infidelity from every happening in your marriage.

This is an adaptation and translation of the original article "Por qué un esposo se enamora de otra mujer? Cuida que no te pase a ti". It has been republished here with permission.

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