First, make sure when you are cleaning a bedroom that you have a room that is easy to keep clean. This includes having space to put things, a home for all of your belongings, and a laundry system that works. Without these, keeping a clean room will be a challenging task.

STEP ONE

. Make your bed, and then put everything that is on the floor onto the bed. Walking into a messy room can be discouraging, and as a kid I always felt like it was going to take me an eternity to accomplish the task. Step one is all about downsizing the mess into one area so that you don't feel overwhelmed. Now, instead of feeling like you have a whole room to clean all you have to do is clean off your bed. Starting with a bed that is made completely transforms the feeling in the room and gives an added motivation to pull your sleeves up and tackle the rest. Plus, once you put everything that is on the floor onto your bed you now have a clean floor and it feels like you are almost done.

STEP TWO

. Sort and put away laundry. Sometimes a bedroom's mess can consist of mostly laundry so this is a good place to start. Put dirty clothes in a hamper (or wherever they go) and if there are any clean clothes put them away. Once this is done, things should already be looking bright! You are almost there.

STEP THREE

Find a home for everything else that is on the bed. If nothing has a home (or a place to go) then you will always have a mess and cleaning a bedroom will be something you have to do often. This is one of the reasons I always have a mess when I travel or stay somewhere for a longer period of time: I'm away from my "system"¯ and because nothing has a home, it ends up everywhere! Side-note to parents: Make sure your children's bedrooms do not have too many toys. Try to keep special toys in a bedroom and the rest for the toy room. If you absolutely have to have toys in the room because of limited space, make sure every toy has a special place where it belongs. If your kids have a bunch of books, make sure they have a bookshelf to keep them on. Even if you are tight on funds, you can usually find one at a yard sale or in the classifieds for very cheap (Just give it a paint job and make it look appealing to put things on!) Anything else that is remaining on the bed goes into the trash, to Good Will, or to its appropriate place in the home if it does not belong in the bedroom. Please don't throw away your mom's kitchen utensils, she won't like that.

STEP FOUR

Vacuum, dust and celebrate! It can be easy to skip this last step once everything is cleared off your bed because you may feel like you are done, but don't cheat yourself of the feeling that comes from having a truly clean room from ceiling to floor! It may be that this step is my favorite because I'm a little OCD about the pretty vacuum lines that appear on a floor after it is done, but it is an important step. Once you are done, fall back onto your bed, read a book, eat a yummy snack, or do a little victory dance; whichever suits your fancy! Celebrating is an important step, make sure you reward yourself for your hard work!

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After some thought, I came up with a list of my own. If you're going to read an article about all the reasons you shouldn't have kids, I have a few I'd like to add to the list. And since I'm a parent, it's only fair you hear me out:

• There are risks involved with having children. Like "¦ you risk being happier. You also risk they'll have your heart from the get-go. And I'm talkin' HIGH RISK. Like a 99.9999999% chance.

• Children will break your things, lessening your attachment to materialistic things, and lead you to find value in other things. Other things like laughter, memories and service to others.

• Holidays will be more exciting by like a billion percent. This is crucial to consider, especially if you have intentions on hating holidays for the rest of your life. You never knew how exciting it was to watch a kid open their dream Christmas present until it's your own kid. And it's not just the expensive things either. I bought battery operated candles from the dollar store. Each night my toddler gets excited over the Christmas book (ones we already own) that she gets to unwrap and read under the candle light. If you haven't seen the video "Lily's Disneyland Surprise,"¯ it is a classic example of how fun it is to surprise children.

• Kids will make you emotional. Some days they will have you screaming for alone time, or even just a potty break all to yourself. But with the first chance of time away you will find yourself missing them like crazy.

• Kids might get you to do silly things. And here's the worst part: You might actually like it.

• On your grumpiest days, even if you have managed to make all of the "adult world"¯ hate you, kids will still love you. They are the most forgiving people on the planet. If you don't like people loving you, this could be a problem you might want to consider before having kids.

• You might get infected. Children's laughter is one of the most infectious things I know of. If you're not that big on laughter, parenthood isn't for you.

• You will never have to Trick-or-Treat again. You will also never get away with snatching a smartie or sucker on your way out of the bank/grocery store. Most people just assume they are there for the kids "¦ but really they are for parents.

• You will be accepting responsibility for your own farts. It's good to be accountable though, so it's probably better that there areĀ no children around to blame it on. Also, if you spill mustard down your shirt "¦ you have to be responsible for that too. And if you realize half-way through the day that your outfit looks ridiculous or just makes you appear fatter than you originally intended, you will just have to deal with it. Parents can change their outfit at any given time on any given day. The excuse? "¯My kid spilled on me."¯ No one even questions. This is a dishonest way to live, so again "¦ you are better off.

• Kids will show you where you are weak. Do you have some weaknesses you'd rather not be confronted about? It's best not to have kids. They will teach you more about yourself than you've ever learned anywhere else. On the bright side, it might cause some initial pain to realize that you're not perfect, but kids will help kick selfishness right out the window and put you on the road to a better, kinder and more patient human being. Are you ready for that?

• You will be partially responsible for keeping our population stable and even reducing poverty. Overpopulation is a big fat giant myth. Know the facts!

• You will feel like a hero every time you come home from work, the grocery store, or even from getting the mail. "MOMMY!!!"¯ "¯DADDY!"¯ There's no greater welcoming in the world. But maybe you don't want that kind of attention "¦

• You will learn more about LOVE (and many other things) than you will any other way. Only through having children have I had the greatest glimpse of what God's love is really like. I've also grown to love my spouse in ways that I never could have without kids. There's just something about watching each other give so selflessly to other human beings that brings you together in the most powerful way.

Okay, okay"¦you've probably caught my bluff. My children (and family) are an absolute joy to me. I cannot imagine a life plan that doesn't involve them in it. Being a parent is challenging, and sure there are times that I am so sleep-deprived that I don't even recognize myself anymore "¦ but there are also many more magical moments to being a parent than I ever imagined. There is love stronger than I've ever felt, and happiness never so real. The purpose of this post is not to try to change the minds of those intent on never having children. Your mind is probably made up. This post is also not intended to make others feel bad who want children and can't have them. I have too many friends in this position and I pray so desperately for their wishes to be fulfilled.

This post is for all the parents out there. All the parents who are fighting against a world that tells them they are crazy. A world that asks them what they were thinking to bring such "chaos"¯ to their lives. A world that tells them their life must be horrible.

Truth is, we parents have some bad days. Some days we are so tired we want to cry, and other days we want to mimic childish behavior and just chuck a toy across the room because our frustration has peaked. But as hard as it can be, we know the truth. We parents share a little secret: We have it good. So very, very good.

Sometimes we just need to be reminded.

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Parenting fails are parenting strategies that are easy to fall into, but do not turn our children into the darling little angels we all pray they will become. Parenting fails should not be treated lightly, as they can gift the perpetrator with guilt, an overall sense of "not being good enough,"¯ and sometimes even weeping.

It's time to abolish them now and forever. Here are three that come to mind:

1. Jailhouse rock

OK, we get it. Toddlers should not be left on their own with knives or household cleaners, but if you have locks on your cupboards for your 6-year-old, there might be a problem there. Our homes should feel like homes, not jails. If there are locks on the fridge, microwave, and pantry along with four different types of locks on the front door, you might need to look at a different parenting strategy.

Sure, it's a pain when your kids get into the Halloween candy the day before Halloween and there's nothing left for the trick-or-treaters, but locking it up isn't teaching the correct behavior, it's simply prohibiting it. Child-proofing your entire house may seem like the easiest fix, but it's not easier if you are thinking long-term. Rather, teach your child that there are consequences for their actions and always follow through.

2. Liar, liar pants on fire

Do your kids trust you? Do they know you will always follow through? Or, is this a common scenario: "Don't make me pull this car over!"¯ Ten minutes later, "If you don't stop whining I am pulling this car over!"¯

My own mother was good at following through with this one. And she didn't just pull the car over, we had to get out of the car until we worked it out. I think I might have been scarred for life as a teenager when we were on family vacation and my mom made me get out of the car to work out an argument with my little sister. We were in the middle of the desert and I'm pretty sure at least three people stopped to ask if we had broken down. My mom just replied, "They are just learning how to get along."¯

As logical as this theory sounds, it's amazing how hard it is for most of us to follow through. Be realistic. It would be better for you to pause and tell your child you are thinking up a good consequence, than to shout out something bogus like, "If you don't stop that, I'm going to come back there and wring your neck!"¯

Which brings me to the most epic parenting fail of all time:

3. I scream, you scream, we all scream for ..

wait. What? According to a study out of the University of Pittsburgh, screaming at your kids is actually very harmful. I think we all know this one already, but it can be one of the hardest habits to conquer. Why? Because there's just something about seeing poop smeared all over the wall that makes your blood seem to boil.

When these moments present themselves, don't hesitate to give yourself a timeout. In desperate moments, RUN to timeout and lock the door. Take chocolate with you. Just do what you need to do, but try not to lose your cool. Also, making a habit of not repeating yourself can help. If you asked your child to clean their room and they did not, simply follow through with a consequence rather than repeat yourself (which only leads to screaming for them to listen to you).

The great thing about these parenting fails is that they work together. Once you get good at following through, you should find that you naturally yell less.

Overcoming ineffective habits can be challenging. Don't be too hard on yourself. Start one at a time and if you completely lose it and go to bed feeling like "monster mommy,"¯ then try again the next day. Rumor has it that it takes 30 days of consistency to create a new habit!

The post 3 of the most epic parenting fails that keep us from being better parents appeared first on FamilyToday.

Stand tall

Ever noticed that trees are perfectly satisfied being trees? They don't shrink down and wish they were shrubbery or secretly wonder if their leaves are in style. They don't even care that everyone can see them. Trees stand tall and beautiful as they fulfill their purpose each day.

Enjoy the view

Time passes too quickly to spend time wishing we could go back to the past, or try to hurry along the next life phase. Trees exist in the present and so should we. Look for blessings that exist in your life today and smile because of them. Say, "I love you." Laugh out loud. Watch the sunset. Eat more slowly. Dance in the rain.

Give freely

Trees give and give all of their life. They give fruit, they give shade and many trees give of themselves entirely. And, after they give of their shade and their fruit and their wood, they ask for nothing in return. The best thing about trees is that they give without expectation, which leads to a happy life. Not only are you happier when you love and serve others, but you are physically healthier. According to a Carnegie Mellon University study, andĀ a2012 study in the journal Health Psychology, helping others is good for body and mind: lowering blood pressure, and even your mortality rate.

Branch out

Sometimes branching out is all we lack in furthering our capacity to enjoy life a little deeper. Relationships and life experience are the spice of life. Meet new people. Try new skills. Throw off your daily routine a little. When I first became a mother I found myself bored and battling discouragement. I soon learned that it wasn't motherhood that was boring - it was my day-to-day routine. Now that I have occupied myself in new interests and activities, my days seem to fly by and I am a better mother because of it. I'm excited to wake up every morning, and my kids can feel a difference in my enthusiasm for life.

Stay rooted

Trees understand the importance of their roots. Likewise, life takes on greater meaning when we take the time to connect and stay rooted - whether it be family relationships, nature or religion.

Be flexible

We can plan and we can prepare, but life doesn't always go our way. Bad days will come, and minor (and major) hurricanes will jostle us around a bit. Don't let life's bumps break you. Did you know that the palm tree is made to bend clear to the ground when a storm comes? And then when the storm passes they bounce right back up and go back to their palm tree-living. Incredible! Not only do palm trees bounce back after the storm, but their roots actually become stronger with each storm they experience.

Who knew trees could teach us so much? When I was a kid I loved climbing trees. One day in particular, I was hanging by my legs from a branch. Well, somehow my legs slipped and I landed smack on my head.

So there's our final lesson from a tree: When life seems upside down, stop what you are doing! Don't wait for the pain to tell you that your marriage is starving, your kids need attention or your body needs nourishment. Stop and resolve the problem.

And like trees, just enjoybeingYOU.

The post Advice from a tree: If only trees could talk appeared first on FamilyToday.

You appreciate it when he accomplishes the honey-do's, gives you a much-needed break from the kids and takes you out on a Friday night.

But sometimes that special man in your life needs to be shown a little extra appreciation, especially from the woman he loves the most. How can you give him that little extra lovin'?

Most people have heard about the five love languages - physical affection, quality time, acts of service, gift giving and words of affirmation - but these are also great outlines for giving some love back to your husband and to help him understand your appreciation for him.

1. Time to get physical

When we start to get into long-term relationships we can sometimes forget the importance of physical affection, and not the kind that usually happens in the bedroom, but those little things new couples like to do.

When he doesn't expect it, grab his hand and don't let go. The Beatles sang "I want to hold your hand" for a reason, because for most people, just the simple act of having their significant other hold their hand can make them feel extremely loved.

Some other good ways to show physical affection are to give him a back rub, a foot massage or take the time to give him a hug and a big kiss when he leaves for work and comes home at night.

These simple acts of affection can really add up to giving him the love he needs.

2. Giving him your time

The most important factor when it comes to giving time is "quality." Most couples technically spend lots of time together, but usually, the focus of the time is on everything and everybody else.

Giving your husband your undivided attention for an hour or even a whole evening will really make him feel special and loved. He knows that you are busy and have loads of other things to do, so taking that time for him, and only him, will flatter him hardcore.

3. Service-oriented love

There are many ways to perform acts of service for you husband, ranging from simple to grandiose.

Write a note, grab him his favorite lunch and drop it by his work, do all his laundry, let him relax and watch his favorite show while you put the kids to bed.

You can even get a little grander with your acts of service schemes if you wanted to and felt it would make a difference to him.

Volunteer at his favorite rec center or donate to his favorite charity. Websites such as ZipHub can help you to carry out this act of serviceable love with just one click.

4. Give a little, or big gift

It is said you can't buy love, but let's face it, there are times where it can definitely help. Has your husband had his eye on a special book, game or TV? Maybe now is the time to surprise him with one of these special gifts.

5. The power of words

You can never go wrong with simply telling your husband out loud that you love him. You can also tell him how much you appreciate him, respect him, admire him, etc.

The sky is the limit with the ways you can build up your husband and make him feel admired and cared for. Giving love to your husband will not only make your special man feel even more special, but it will also help you to have a long and happy relationship.

When you love your husband giving him love in return will be the easiest thing you could ever do.

With a motto like "love one another," ZipHub is a company that will make sure those that you care about, and the organizations they care about, feel that love. ZipHub is a search engine that gives money back to charities, churches, schools and to you. So, if you want to feel loved and give love in return, sign up for ZipHub today.

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My husband has many hobbies and he's very good at making sure he schedules time for most of them. About a year into being parents for the first time, I remember being angry at him for all the time he spent rock climbing, running or watching soccer. "All I ever do is be a MOM, all day and every day" I sobbed. He simply replied, "I make time for those things because they make me happy."

Since then, I've learned a few things that have helped me break away from feeling like my life should be titled, "Groundhog Mom."

Make "me" time a priority

When was the last time you took a timeout for yourself? "Me" time is very important for your health and happiness as a mother. Yes, we are moms. But we are also real and unique human beings with identities beyond just being a mom. When was the last time that you really felt like you? Go to the park alone and read your favorite book. Go to the spa. Buy a big fat juicy burger and take your time relishing every bite. Even if you only spendĀ 10 minutes alone thinking to yourself, make time to rejuvenate yourself. Find something you are passionate about or that you enjoy doing and make time for it daily or weekly.

Give up the guilt

Remind yourself that taking a "time out" from your kids actually contributes to you being a better mother for them. The better you take care of yourself, the better you take care of others. I've found that when I have something to look forward to or somewhere to go I can clean my house in an hour or less. But on the days that I know I'm stuck inside all day it seems to take all day just to wash the laundry. If you struggle with guilt, the "Tripping Mom" blog offers 5 ways to help you quit.

Develop a talent

Have you always wished you could play the guitar? Would you love to be good at photography? Maybe you're the type that has always dreamed of juggling sticks of fire or dribbling two basketballs at the same time. Being a mom should not stop you. In fact, developing a talent might just be one of the best things you do. Teach your kids how to follow their dreams and be successful through your example.

Make time for exercise

According to the Mayo Clinic, Exercise does wonders for your mood, your energy and your health. Find a walking buddy or go to a Zumba class. If you can't get out, then find creative ways to exercise at home and make it part of your routine. Sometimes just having a dance party with the kids in your own house can lift the mood for everyone. Part of me has always wanted to run a half-marathon. After my first child was born I picked the one I wanted to do, paid the money (so I wouldn't back out), and had my husband help me work out a training schedule. A month into the training I discovered I didn't hate running as much as I thought. Crossing that finish line remains one of my fondest memories.

Ask for help

It's going to be very hard to take time for yourself if you aren't willing to ask others to help you out. Ask your husband to spend a night with the kids while you go out, or swap babysitting days with a neighbor so that you can attend an exercise class. If you have family close, let your mom or sister spend some time with the kids while you spend some time visiting an old friend or getting a manicure.

Take a vacation day

Full-time jobs offer vacation days for a reason, and motherhood is definitely a full-time job. Similar to writer's block, sometimes all it takes is a little break to provide the inspiration and success needed to accomplish your tasks.

There is no reason to live your life in "repeat" mode. Sometimes making a small change to your routine and incorporating some "me" time in your life is all it takes to get out of a rut.

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