1. Don't panic

There truly are some parts of school that can be scary, and school safety is a top priority at the national level and at every school right now. However, school is still one the safest places your child can be. Is your child one who seems to show no fear? Step into any middle school on the first day for a bizarre snapshot of what fear can do to brave tweeners. They are eerily silent, can't find their classes, and are nervously scouting out the competition. As a teacher, I always tried to allay this fear by acknowledging my own anxieties about the first day. Parents can calm their child's nerves by taking a tour of the school or by meeting teachers together. Usually, kids are back to their no-fear, normally quirky ways and ready to learn in no time.

2. Get a vision

Another great way to start the year is to set academic goals. It may be a goal to study more effectively or to improve organizational skills (do you have a magic backpack that makes homework disappear?). Take this time also to set expectations, including phone and online etiquette. Periodically check in on how this vision for success is going (not just at report card time).

3. Read and write, Rockstar

Your child may have had a great elementary experience. Enjoy and praise that, but middle school is a new chapter in her life. Encourage your child to read more difficult books, and identify books that are on-level for her. LexileĀ® is a nice resource for this. Also, with the advent of new Common Core State Standards, encourage your kid to read informational texts, like an iPad installation manual, in between books from their favorite vampire series. For parents of boys, I highly recommend research on reading and boys from the remarkable work of Dr. Jeff Wilhelm. Writing expectations are also a little higher in middle school with less emphasis on narrative and more on informational or technical writing, so be ready for that. This is especially true if your child is in an honors or gifted program. Correct program placement is vital to your child rocking it in school - or not. Is an accelerated program right for your child? Decisions about enrolling or withdrawing children from a special program can be a major disruption in a teenager's life. Keep your child's best interests in mind, let it be their choice and discuss with educators about the best fit in this collective decision.

4. Don't Go Incommunicado

Some parents seem to drop off a cliff and stop talking to teachers in middle school, preferring to let their little grown up talk himself out of problems. Others smother. Why is this? It's a tricky balance to watch your kid learn to communicate effectively, for sure. Encourage kids to communicate with their teachers about grades, assignments or concerns. Help them understand that respectful, face to face conversations aren't old hat.

5. Remember, it's a jungle out there

First, create a safe space in your family to talk about anything. No taboos. School issues like bullying, relationships and changes in their bodies, including questions about sex, are best handled by loving parents. Teachers can be your allies, but at the end of the day, a supportive home atmosphere is the strongest defense against the wild things that teenagers can experience at school. At the heart of this conversation is the importance of choosing friends wisely, whether it's online or in person. Ask any school administrator how much time they spend on Facebook-to-school conundrums and you will see just how much of a game changer social networking is in the modern school.

Alright, Moms and Dads, you are one step closer to being ready for the terrific teen years!

The post No sweat middle school guide appeared first on FamilyToday.

What happens when a teacher we entrust to prevent bullying is to blame for oppression in your school? What if your child's teacher is the oppressor? Every school is essentially a colony. Bullying is rampant on school campuses, and parents, educators and legislators are all seeking answers.

What the research says

Dr. Stuart Twemlow, psychiatrist and director of the Peaceful Schools and Communities Project at Baylor offers insight into this unique breed of the school bully. In a 2005 study, Twemlow found that "45 percent of the 116 teachers sampled indicated that at some time in their careers they had bullied a student."¯ Teachers are humans who lose patience or exercise poor judgment just like anyone else, but that is no excuse when it's your kid crying on the bus ride home.

The majority of the teachers that I have known are dedicated, professional and compassionate people who would, like Victoria Soto from Sandy Hook Elementary in Newton, Connecticut, give their own lives for your children. Some teachers forget why they chose education and stop caring about kids, a small number of teachers might even feel satisfaction in taking out their sadistic ways on children. Still, some do not even realize when they have been hurtful. So, what steps can you take to protect your child from Mister or Miss Mean?

Handling adult bullies is a lot like dealing with any other bully:

Confront it

Adults are always telling kids to ignore bullies. Why? For a one-time, hurtful word or shove, this might work with some bullies. Parents cannot ignore or tolerate this behavior in teachers, who are in a position of trust. They chose this profession because they are supposed to care about kids. When they stop demonstrating that care, parents have a right and responsibility to address the incident after gathering accurate details from all parties or friends involved. Usually a phone call or teacher meeting will resolve it. It will be important here to state facts and not become overly emotional, vengeful or reactive if you really want the best outcome for your child. Using your attorney as a threat is usually not necessary or helpful to the conversation.

Document it

Discuss what is happening with your child and write down details relevant to bullying incidents. Open communication in the home is important for kids in all phases, but particularly in the younger, more vulnerable times in their lives. When you visit with a teacher, or if you need to take the issue higher up to the principal or district personnel, you have a legal record. Follow school policy and sound legal advice where necessary. Allow love and professionalism, not anger, to guide the process.

Prevent it

First, be the kind of parent who never belittles or abuses a child in any way. Communicate with your kids about everything. Empower them to stick up for themselves and others. Personally visit your child's teacher at the beginning of and volunteer throughout the school year so that the teacher knows that you, as the parent, are aware of what is going on in the classroom. Chaperone at field trips or overnight school activities. Do not allow your child to accept friend requests from teachers on social media websites. Do not allow yourself or your child to bully or threaten a teacher in person or online. Speak out when you know of a bully teacher or principal and act to protect all kids. Unite with parents and compassionate educators to make home and school a safe space for children. No one can prevent all of the harmful things a child will face in this world, but this type of bullying is one that is very preventable and will do a great service to hundreds of children who may possibly endure a verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive teacher.

An end to pain

No child deserves to be bullied, especially by someone who holds the sacred trust of educating children. No community should tolerate or turn a blind eye to a teacher-oppressor. These steps and the collective voice of parents can help to ensure safer schools. It really is a question of freedom. The Brazilian philosopher, Freire, knew it and liberated the oppressed around him. It was an intellectual and physical release from pain. Isn't that what our kids are asking for? Isn't that what they deserve?

The post Pedagogy of the oppressors: How to handle a bully teacher appeared first on FamilyToday.