Do you remember how much fun hanging out with cranky kids can be? No, you probably don't because, well, they aren't fun at all.

But that one kid with the biggest, cheesiest smile on their face; that same smile where you can't help but return - those are the children where you instantly feel drawn to because of their happiness.

And you know who they are and which families they come from. You know their parents are doing something different to help create these happy kids.

Instead of wondering what these parents are doing, we are going to discuss five secrets to having happy kids and what you need to prioritize to make this a reality (The best part is it's not going to cost you a cent!).

1. Sleep

Did you know that school-aged children (six to 13 years) need between nine and 11 hours of sleep? How much sleep is your child getting each night?

Parents with happy children help their kids get the sleep they need. They prioritize an early bedtime to make this possible.

If your children struggle with going to bed early, decide on a bedtime routine to help them prepare for bed. Will they be saying prayers? Are you going to read them a bedtime story?

When tucking them in, keep their rooms free from distraction (such as any technology, loud toys and other things they'll be tempted to play with).

Helping your child get the sleep they need might be difficult at first, but once a routine is established, you will notice a difference in their behavior.

2. Faith

Some parents, with good intentions, think material possessions will bring happiness to their children, when instead, after many years of buying these kids "stuff," parents create an unappreciative, demanding and resentful child.

The kind of happiness we want for our children is one that builds character and strengthens a child's resolve to stay strong during difficult challenges.

This is where investing in your child's faith and spiritual well-being is important. By prioritizing your child's faith (and the faith of your family), your children will begin to develop a sense of their eternal identity and relationship with God and others.

By being involved in their faith, children will be more likely to serve those around them and be a contributor in their family.

3. Relationships

Your child needs you. Are you emotionally there for them? Do you put down your phone when they're talking to you? Are you spending one-on-one instructional time with them?

Happy kids have parents who are invested in building relationships as a family.

You don't need the picture perfect family, but you should strive for the kind of family where children feel loved and wanted at home. Children need to have the security and comfort of knowing their parents love them, feeling safe and even having friendships with their siblings.

4. The child

How much do you know about your child? Do you know what makes them laugh so hard they start to snort? Do you know their fears and frustrations?

Parents with happy kids invest in their children. They take time to help their children learn and grow in the world around them.

These parents are their children's biggest cheerleaders and encourage their learning and developing. Their influence cannot be replaced in their child's lives and is so desperately needed to help create happy kids.

5. Simplicity

Simplicity is another key to having a happy child. Children don't need their schedules filled with activities every second of the day, and they certainly don't need the latest technology in their hands.

Happy kids have simplicity in their lives and throughout their day, whether this is in their schedule or at home.

Remember, no amount of money, no latest gadget and no material possession you could buy will ever give them the happiness they need to carry them through life's great difficulties.

Although many parents have fallen into the trap of letting kids parent themselves as they spend time on their tablets and phones, this doesn't have to be your kids. Remember, children need you, not the latest and greatest gadget.

You can help create happy kids who are hopeful for the future as you help your children get the sleep they need, help them grow in their faith, invest in your relationship with them and keep life simple.

How do you help cultivate happiness in your children? Leave a comment below, and let us know!

The post Parents with happy kids try to prioritize these 5 things appeared first on FamilyToday.

You're looking for the man of your dreams...tall, dark and handsome, right?

Now, what about you?

Are you willing to be yourself around everyone, even "the man of your dreams?" Or are you destroying your future relationship already by pretending to be someone you're not?

Truthfully, the worst mistake a woman can make when trying to find a partner is lying about who she is and pretending to be someone she's not.

You might be thinking something like, "but he loves skydiving!" When truthfully, you probably hate heights. Or maybe you think you can change how he does his finances and help him control his excessive spending habit.

If you learn to be the things he loves he's bound to love you, right? Wrong.

Pretending to be someone you're not will only damage the current relationship you're in. Your lying might even keep you from the partner you would thrive with the most.

So, how can you stop lying about who you are and stop pretending to be someone you're not while you're trying to find a partner? You can do so in 4 easy ways.

1. Be Yourself

You're the only one out there in the world. No one will ever replace you. Now you need to ask yourself, why would you want to change who you are for someone you're not?

As you look for a partner, be you. If he doesn't like you, don't stress over what wouldn't work. Keep moving forward and live life to the fullest. Be honest with who you are and what you want in a partner. You want to find someone who will love you for you, imperfections and all.

2. Be Where You Want to Find Your Partner

Be honest with yourself before going into a relationship about what type of partner you are looking for. The physical traits of another person should never dominate over their characteristics.

Once you think you found a compatible partner, learn about their likes, dislikes and who they are when no one's watching. Observe them when they become angry and watch how they respond to certain situations. Notice how they handle and budget their money.

What you think and how you respond to your partner in these situations will make or break your relationship in the future. Be honest from the beginning about how you feel and express yourself openly to help facilitate communication.

3. Liars Never Prosper

Lying about who you are and what makes you happy might work for a little while. You might even see the relationship progress to where you want. But eventually the lies will catch up with you.

Your relationship might be great on the surface. However, by not giving yourself permission to be who you are and express your own likes, dislikes and life experiences, you're pretending to be someone you're not.

The lies we tell ourselves and others will eventually catch up with us. It's only in honesty and being true to who you are that you will find a compatible partner. Don't give up on the opportunity for a wonderful relationship in the future for one that you hope might work today.

4. Don't Change You Unless You Want To Change

If you want to work on self-improvement, experience new adventures and ultimately change something about yourself, do so because you want to. Never change who you are for someone else hoping that they might like the "new you."

These types of changes and relationships ultimately fail. The changes in life that help you thrive are those changes you want to make for yourself because it's what you want.

As you focus on doing these four things, you will set yourself up for a successful relationship in the future.

Partners will come and go over time. The one you want to hold close is the partner you will thrive with the most. And you can only have this type of relationship if you're willing to be honest with yourself first.

The post This is the worst mistake women make when trying to find a partner appeared first on FamilyToday.

Moms have seen, done and heard nearly everything imaginable. Whether it comes from our own family, our friends or even strangers, sometimes well-meaning questions are often not welcomed.

Women with multiple children are almost always subject to inquisitive stares, whispers, and perhaps even a few rumors. Although this list is not inclusive, here are 10 things it is never OK to say to a mom with multiple children.

1. How many kids do you have?!

I love and hate this question. I love this question because of the "shock factor" on people's faces as try to think about having so many children. Yes, a mother knows how many children she has and what she loves about each one of them. I have yet to meet a mother who regrets raising any of her young children.

2. Why?

I know a sweet lady who has seven children, many of whom are still at home. Someone once asked her "why do you have so many children" to which she responded, "why not?". Behind that simple answer is personal choice, prayer and the financial responsibility to afford each child.

Asking a mother why she has children is like asking why the sky is blue or why a compass always points north. Many women feel this is their purpose and calling in life. They embrace this and know they're on God's errand. The answer many women wish to give can only really be expressed and felt within the heart.

3. What were you thinking?

My husband and I have three children all under the age of four years old. People would often ask us what we were thinking, having so many children so close together. I cannot speak for all women, but for myself, this question frustrates me. The choice to have children involve myself and my husband.

A better question to ask would be, "Do you like having your children so close together in age?"

4. When do you sleep?

Never. Or at least that's what a mother's sleep schedule might look like. When a mother has young children, she attends to their needs and worries over them when they are sick. As these little ones grow older, mothers often stay awake until their precious ones are home safe. While children are in the home, sleep is a sacrifice of motherhood.

5. Are you trying to repopulate the earth on your own?

Sometimes this question comes in a "joking" manner, and yet often it doesn't. When I was asked this, I thought of Neill Marriott who was asked the same question. She responded, "I am glad to be a mother, and I promise you (referring to the woman who phoned her) I will do everything in my power to nurture my children in such a way that they will make the world a better place.".

6. You look tired

I understand this statement is often said to show compassion from the giver. However, it often brings tears to my eyes. Being a busy mom to many little ones, I try my best to be everything I can to my children, my husband, and myself. Yet when someone tells me how tired I look, I feel like I failed in one or sometimes all three of these areas.

The sweetest compliment I have received as a young mother was from an older woman who told me, "you don't look as tired as I think you are". By saying this, she acknowledged that, yes, I'm exhausted - all mothers are - but she expressed her concern in a very sweet manner.

7. I'm sorry

Please, never apologize to a woman for having so many children. These children are a mother's choice and they love each one of them. If you feel like you need to apologize for something, apologize for the cat running away, or Sam cutting his sister's hair, or something specific that actually requires sympathy. But never feel like you have to apologize to a woman for the children she has under her care.

8. I bet your house is a zoo

Actually, we put the lions outside, the crocodiles in the pond out back, and the monkeys tend to swing from tree to tree in the front yard. Yes, a mother might feel like her house is a zoo, but rest assured, her house has four walls and a roof.

9. When was the last time you had a clean house?

I personally love seeing the finger prints from my children on my windows. I know I will eventually have to clean them, but I also know one day they will be gone. In the meantime, cherish those dirty toy rooms and piles of paper in the corner. All mothers learn this lesson: dirty dishes and clothes can wait because they have children to raise. And if having a dirty house is the price that needs to be paid to spend time with the children, then it's worth the cost.

10. Did you know what you were getting into?

Yes and no. Yes, a mother understand the laughter and memories that will be cherished for a lifetime. And they understand the tears and heartbreak that will come when children make poor choices. But this doesn't apply just to mothers with large families. This is a lesson all mothers learn.

For all mothers, keep doing a great job: you're molding the future leaders, fathers, and mothers of tomorrow. To the curious, say things with a word of caution after putting yourself in their shoes. A little compassion and understanding from both sides will go a long way.

The post 10 things it is never OK to say to a mom with multiple children appeared first on FamilyToday.

How many times have you heard, "I'm not good enough" or "I can't compete" come out a woman's mouth? Women tend to doubt our self-worth and ability to provide for ourselves, our family, our children. We focus on being who everyone needs us to be, then are unable to care for ourselves.

The second phrase, "I can't compete" should never even cross a woman's mind. There is no need to keep up with today's world. The minute a woman begins to compete with the world is when her losing battle begins.

Let me explain.

The world is quickly spiraling downward. Media has redefined what womanhood is and is not, and their definition is increasingly derogatory. Women who keep up with this world fail. Women who are moral, kind and righteous change the world. Here are five ways righteous women change the world for good:

Our influence

As women, we love to know we are making a difference. We also love to see this difference in our lives. It provides validity to what we are doing. But how can you measure influence? It cannot be seen or measured.

The world might tell you that your righteousness doesn't matter because it cannot be measured. That is not true. Our influence is vital to the success of our family. Nothing can replace a mother or wife's kind words of hope. Nothing can replace the sympathetic heart of a daughter or sister.

Being like rocks

Women are often the foundation, or the "rock" of so many lives. People look to the women in their lives for a kind words, compassion and love. Our children look to us as an example. Our husband's look towards us for hope and comfort. Being a righteous woman is a serious responsibility. It is a demanding role that the world constantly tries to upset. In times where your rock solid foundation seems to fail, rely on God. His work depends on righteous women.

Acting as a beacon

Righteous women live their lives led by God. We follow the path he has set. Because we follow God instead of the media, righteous women gain an added measure of light in their lives.That light shines for all to see. It is a source of comfort for those who are looking for truth; a blessing in a world full of confusion and darkness.

Having cathedral-like endurance

St. Paul's Cathedral in London, England took a decade to be designed and 40 years to build. That's over 50 years of planning and construction! Yet, this building still stands hundreds of years later as one of the most spectacular and magnificent buildings created. Workers who helped construct this cathedral knew they would not see the finished building. They weren't working for themselves. They knew they were working for God.

Righteous women can look towards this example. Every shirt folded, sheet washed, fight mediated, and every other emotional and physical demand we endure is for something beautiful. It's for God. Find peace and comfort knowing he does not allow his work to go unnoticed.

Raising families

The family is the basic, fundamental unit of society. It's within the family that lessons are learned, memories are made, and laughter is shared. It's also within this family that heartache occurs and hurtful words can be said. Family is not easy, but it is worth it. Having righteous women in a family cannot be replaced. Their influence in the home is worth more than anything in this world, despite what society tells you.

Next time you feel you don't make a difference or you feel weighed down by the world and your responsibilities, look up. Look up to God and rely on him. You are doing his work and he will not leave you comfortless. You are making a difference. You are doing great things. There will be a day when all you did will be realized, and it will be beautiful.

The post For the woman who feels she doesn’t matter appeared first on FamilyToday.

Although this trial has come to your family, it's important for you, your siblings, and when appropriate extended family members, to come together and lend support to one another.

Early signs

One couple was happily married for more than 60 years. They married in their teens, had a large family, and grew old together. Before the husband passed away, he began to "forget" information such as dates, names, and places. At first, his wife and children didn't take much notice thinking it was "just Dad's thing" to forget.

Over time, the memory lapse caused impairment and handicapped the husband until he was unable to perform basic functioning activities. He would forget he left the stove on or the water running. His Alzheimer's was so bad he began to wander not only around the house but outside as well. He eventually forgot his beautiful bride, her loving smile, and their long life together.

The family came together to do what was best for their husband and father. The wife did a wonderful job taking care of her husband at home while she could. Eventually, he became too difficult to handle and the family decided to place him in a facility.

If your parent is in a facility

• Visit them often.

• Provide companionship and emotional support.

• Provide a cheerful countenance

• Reminisce about their "younger years"

• Sing/play familiar songs

It's difficult to see a dear loved one who doesn't remember and recall, but you'll be glad you spent the time. Visit with your loved one and spend that precious time with them expressing your love for them, and your thanks for the legacy they have left you and your own children and grandchildren.

Be an active participant in the care they are receiving at the facility. Speak with the nurses, the aides, and other staff members to mediate and observe the activities which are occurring within the walls of this facility.

Pick up an activities calendar and, if your schedule permits, go to the facility and join your parent and the other residents for an activity.

There will be "triggering" times where mom or dad may remember something they have since long forgotten. Enjoy these precious and few moments. Ask them questions, always be happy around them, and enjoy that brief moment having your parent back.

On the more difficult days, maintain your cheerful countenance. An Alzheimer's patient, like a newborn, can feel emotions and reacts accordingly. They know when you're sad, happy, excited, anxious, or any other feelings you may be experiencing.

Above all, remind your mom or dad that you will return soon, then keep your promise.

If you are the caregiver

• Do not be afraid to ask for help.

• Open up to trusted family members or friends.

• Give yourself permission to express your thoughts and feelings.

• Seek professional help as needed: Involve a social worker and other knowledgeable members of the community who are ready to help.

There will be times when you will have difficulty handling your mom or dad. Please remember this does not make you a bad person. Taking a day off will greatly improve your own health and wellbeing.

If your mom and dad are in your own home, make your home as "friendly proof" as possible. Think baby proof. This will help prevent accidents.

Read everything you can about Alzheimer's to arm yourself with knowledge. Ask your parent's doctor questions. You can also contact and find help at the Alzheimer's Foundation.

Caregiver stress

Recognize the signs of caregiver stress. Some caregivers have difficulty accepting help, thinking they must do everything themselves. According to the Mayo Clinic, "This attitude can be harmful not only to the caregiver, but also to the person who has Alzheimer's." If you are the one offering a caregiver help, be gently persistent. Remind the caregiver that they don't have to care for their loved one alone.

As you watch and actively participate in your parent's care continue to be patient with them, and with yourself. Remember, you do not have to be alone in this journey and trial. There are loved ones surrounding you, and I promise the good you do for your parent will bring you great happiness now and after they're gone.

The post How to cope with an aged parent who has Alzheimer’s disease appeared first on FamilyToday.

The first thing to consider are which sets of twins do you have: are they two boys, two girls, or one of each? Several ideas will be given for each of the three groups.

The first thing to consider is the theme: Do you want a traditional theme? Or do you want to do something non-traditional and different? Games, party favors, invitations, food, and more can be organized and arranged accordingly.

Two boys

• Superheroes: have each child dress like the superhero of their choice - birthday boys and guests alike.

• Favorite pairs: Although they might not be twins - think Mario and Luigi, Tom and Jerry, Bert and Ernie. These are famous and favorite duo acts.

• Trucks, Motorcycles, and anything with wheels.

Two girls

• Princess: Have this party be a dress-up tea party with accompanying themed cookies, cupcakes, etc. Invite all the guests to dress up and join with the birthday girls.

• Ladybug and flower garden: This theme would be perfect if your twins have their birthday in the spring or summer time and you are able to enjoy being outside. Take the kids on a nature crawl and be creative.

• Sugar and spice: Have the colors be brown and pink; then set up the treat table to contain lots of festive and creative deserts.

One boy and one girl

• Favorite pairs: Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Peter Pan and Tinkerbell, Raggedy Ann and Andy, cowboy and cowgirl or any others you can think of for your two peas in a pod.

• Stripes and polka dots: Have the boys be stripes and the girls be polka dots. Decorate and create accordingly.

• Carnival: This will allow fun for all ages, groups, boys and girls alike. Make the games, events and attractions simple and easy for all to enjoy.

Although this is a simple list of ideas for your twins' birthday party, the important thing to remember is to keep things simple. The easier the party is to plan, organize, arrange, and manage, the less stress you will have and the more fun your family will have. Whatever your circumstances and situation, I wish you the best of luck in making your children's first birthday magical.

The post Birthday party ideas for twins first birthday appeared first on FamilyToday.

How would you feel

:

• Would you feel comfortable going to them with your problems?

• Would you feel comfortable asking for advice?

• Could you vent about the days frustrations?

• Would you feel ungrateful?

We often think to ourselves how difficult our life is until we meet another who is struggling even more.

• Have you thought about how the individual with the disease feels?

• What goes through their mind?

I have been blessed to work as a chaplain for a hospice company for several years, and the biggest sorrow expressed by the patients is the fact that their family members, friends, and strangers define them by their disease.

Those who are suffering from a life threatening illness find it difficult to try and live a normal life. Why? It's not because of their disease (although their ailment may cause certain limitations toward their health), but it's because when others look at them, they see cancer, heart failure, liver failure, or other sicknesses.

When you are blessed with an opportunity to meet, or know, someone with a life threatening disease, remember they are still alive today. That is the biggest blessing they have been given.

They were once a young man or woman; they still have hopes and dreams. Ask them about their first kiss, what they remember most about marrying their sweetheart so many years ago, or anything you've always wanted to know about this individual.

Look past the disease, and if you feel so inclined, confide in them your difficulties. They will sympathize and understand. I promise you will even surprise yourself on the wisdom and knowledge you will obtain from these wonderful people.

If the person you know with a life threatening disease is a child, ask them about their plans for the future: what do they hope to be when they grow up? What do they love to do for activities with their family? There is no such thing as false hope.

The person, whether they have seen very few summer years, or have witnessed many, still has hopes and dreams beyond what their disease is dictating in their life.

Yes, their life may be cut short because of this disease, but at least for that brief moment, their life was full of happiness, hope, and dreams - all because you took the time to look past their disease. You became their friend.

The post How to talk with someone with a life threatening disease appeared first on FamilyToday.

How would you feel

:

• Would you feel comfortable going to them with your problems?

• Would you feel comfortable asking for advice?

• Could you vent about the days frustrations?

• Would you feel ungrateful?

We often think to ourselves how difficult our life is until we meet another who is struggling even more.

• Have you thought about how the individual with the disease feels?

• What goes through their mind?

I have been blessed to work as a chaplain for a hospice company for several years, and the biggest sorrow expressed by the patients is the fact that their family members, friends, and strangers define them by their disease.

Those who are suffering from a life threatening illness find it difficult to try and live a normal life. Why? It's not because of their disease (although their ailment may cause certain limitations toward their health), but it's because when others look at them, they see cancer, heart failure, liver failure, or other sicknesses.

When you are blessed with an opportunity to meet, or know, someone with a life threatening disease, remember they are still alive today. That is the biggest blessing they have been given.

They were once a young man or woman; they still have hopes and dreams. Ask them about their first kiss, what they remember most about marrying their sweetheart so many years ago, or anything you've always wanted to know about this individual.

Look past the disease, and if you feel so inclined, confide in them your difficulties. They will sympathize and understand. I promise you will even surprise yourself on the wisdom and knowledge you will obtain from these wonderful people.

If the person you know with a life threatening disease is a child, ask them about their plans for the future: what do they hope to be when they grow up? What do they love to do for activities with their family? There is no such thing as false hope.

The person, whether they have seen very few summer years, or have witnessed many, still has hopes and dreams beyond what their disease is dictating in their life.

Yes, their life may be cut short because of this disease, but at least for that brief moment, their life was full of happiness, hope, and dreams - all because you took the time to look past their disease. You became their friend.

The post How to talk with someone with a life-threatening disease appeared first on FamilyToday.

When our daughter was born he fell in love all over, again, but he was terrified to hold her for fear of hurting or breaking her. He was also very overwhelmed with his new responsibility as a father. One thing I learned very quickly about my husband (and most men): if you don't give your spouse the opportunity to help and overcome their fears, they won't. If you don't give your spouse and baby the time to bond, who will?

With my husband's fear of holding our newborn, I was able to have him sit on the couch, and sit next to him while he held her. Some days, we placed a pillow on his lap (for extra support), and other days he held her in a blanket. This wasn't a one-time success; his confidence had to build. He had to know I trusted him with this new arrival.

Ladies, one thing I will say, with all the visitors, mothers, and mother-in-laws coming in and out to help and see the newborn, your husband will feel left out and pushed aside. This causes feelings of alienation and jealousy. You trusted this man enough to have this baby with him, now give him the opportunity to step up and be a father. If you are formula feeding (or breastfeeding) prepare a bottle for your spouse so he can feed the baby, and spend time with her. This will allow the two to meet, bond, and give you some much needed sleep.

Encourage your spouse to be with the baby, even if it's for a few minutes. My husband is finishing his degree, and although he is doing homework at home he's not engaged with the family. So, every few hours I will take our daughter to him so he can have a study break. This way, he has a chance to be with her, instead of watching her grow up through pictures.

So, recap:

• Trust your spouse with the baby.

• Allow your spouse to hold, feed, and change the baby. Don't do everything yourself.

• Provide your spouse time and opportunity to bond with the baby.

• Give your spouse a responsibility to help you with the baby.

• Above all, enable your spouse be a father.

Good luck, and happy bonding.

The post Bonding spouse and baby appeared first on FamilyToday.