Have you heard of the golden hour?

The golden hour is the first 60 minutes after the birth of your baby. This is considered key time to lay the groundwork for bonding and breastfeeding with your newborn.

Many hospitals are making an effort to isolate you and your baby by delaying all unnecessary medical procedures, keeping your baby in your room except in emergencies, and ensuring that your baby is able to breastfeed within this first magical hour.

Once that hour passes, how can parents continue to build a foundation for bonding and breastfeeding while they are in the hospital? Here are four ideas:

1. Inform visitors that you will be busy bonding

Breastfeed early and often! These are two key words for getting breastfeeding off to a good start.

During the first few days after your baby is born, baby will be eating small amounts of colostrum. This "liquid gold" coats your baby's gut and prepares him for the milk that will come in a few days. Thus, nursing sessions may be very short and frequent.

It can be helpful to notify visitors that you will be busy bonding and working on breastfeeding your baby. Since nursing sessions cannot — and should not — be scheduled, they will likely happen without a lot of notice. Your baby may nurse, and then be ready to nurse again in 20 minutes. This is normal!

2. Get breastfeeding help while you are in the hospital

New mothers might need help and support to get breastfeeding off to a good start.

Many hospitals have an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) on staff. This is the highest level of breastfeeding certification, representing a rigorous training in infant feeding and breastfeeding management. If available, the IBCLC in the hospital can observe you and your baby and give you helpful ideas and information.

Other sources of breastfeeding support are the La Leche League (LLL) and other mother-to-mother support organizations.

La Leche League Leaders are women with personal breastfeeding experience who have received additional training to support other mothers with the normal course of breastfeeding.

They are also knowledgeable about resources within the community when a breastfeeding situation falls outside their scope. Attending La Leche League meetings can help moms ensure ongoing breastfeeding success.

Some moms are likely to hit roadblocks while nursing. If you fit into one of the situations listed below, you are especially encouraged to seek help from a LLL Leader or an IBCLC early on. Women who may fall into this category include:

• Moms who delivered surgically (c-section) or who had a lengthy or difficult vaginal delivery

• Moms of multiples (twins, triplets, or more)

• First-time moms, or moms who had difficulty breastfeeding in the past

• Moms whose nipples have been described as flat or inverted

• Moms who are separated from their babies, such as preemies or sick babies

3. Skip the "baby burrito"

Rather than wrap your baby in a blanket — sometimes described as a "baby burrito" — and place him in the bassinette after an exam, why not ask the nurse or doctor to hand your baby directly to you?

A blanket is a physical barrier that might slow your response to your baby's nursing cues (there is evidence that swaddling a baby can lead to less effective breastfeeding), and though the distance may be small, the space between you and your baby in a bassinette may interfere with mom-to-baby communication and impede breastfeeding.

Instead, more and more moms are asking hospital staff to hand their baby's right back to them, so they can spend time together skin-to-skin. Also knows as "kangaroo care," skin-to-skin is accomplished by keeping your baby undressed and down to the diaper against your bare chest.

Except perhaps for exams, bathroom breaks, and showers, you might decide to spend the entire hospital experience with your baby skin-to-skin. And upon returning home, many moms continue the practice.

Skin-to-skin can be a powerful tool for establishing breastfeeding and bonding. The health benefits of skin-to-skin are well-documented. Some of these benefits include:

• Baby's heart rate, breathing, and body temperature are regulated

• Baby has easy access to the breast, so he is less likely to have low blood sugar or need supplements

• Mom and baby learn each other's smells and mom learns to read baby's feeding cues

• Baby is less likely to cry

And, your baby's natural habitat is your warm body, after all!

4. Breastfeed your baby for as long and often as he/she will

Pregnant moms-to-be often have ideas about the logistics of breastfeeding, including how often and for how long. They might have seen guidelines that describe how many hours should pass between nursing sessions, and how long each session should last, per breast.

Sometimes moms are unknowingly preparing to breastfeed their baby as infrequently as possible, and as quickly as possible.

Moms seem to be encouraged to lengthen out the space between feedings, particularly at night. However, this can be problematic for establishing a milk supply.

What if, instead, moms flipped that tendency in their minds to nursing "as often as possible for as long as possible?" To help facilitate this, here are some suggestions to try while nursing:

• Any little squeak baby makes, or a flutter of the eyelids, or a movement towards your breast, offer the breast.

• If he falls asleep quickly, try switching sides.

• Use breast compressions to help encourage your baby to take more milk.

• Keep your baby close by day and night, and spend as much time as possible skin-to-skin.

It can also be helpful to keep in mind the signs that your baby is getting enough milk, and where to go for help if he is not getting enough, such as a La Leche League Leader or IBCLC.

If you do have a low milk supply, there is good news: low milk intake is almost always a temporary problem that can be fixed with the right help.

Following these four strategies after the golden hour will not only enable you to continue bonding and breastfeeding your baby, but you will also find increased satisfaction as role of mother to your precious newborn.

The post 4 beautiful ways to keep your baby bonded to you forever appeared first on FamilyToday.

I truly enjoyed being married. I liked having a partner in life, someone who was pegged to me. I appreciated having someone to say goodnight to. I enjoyed knowing that every moment of every day I was an important and integral part of another person's every moment of every day. I was comforted by having someone be that for me, too. I intended my marriage to last for life, and beyond. I entered marriage with the intent to stick it through no matter what.

Looking back, I have regrets about my marriage. There were things I wish I would have done differently while I was married.

I never did anything seriously wrong in my marriage; no huge mistakes that warranted divorce. More, I'm talking about the little things that I left out of marriage that could have made it really great.

I wish I would have taken better advantage of how spectacular marriage could have been, while I was married. That's what I regret: wasting a bunch of time and energy being unhappy, when I could have, instead, been using that energy to enjoy my marriage.

So, here are some things I wish I would have done while I was married:

1. I wish I would have started each day with affection

My ex-husband and I have different internal clocks, meaning he spent a lot of time awake late at night and into the wee hours of the morning, and I spent a lot of time alone in the mornings (with the kids) while he was sleeping. This annoyed me. So when he did wake up later, I was typically irritated and nasty toward him. No hug and a kiss, or asking how he slept or if I could make him breakfast. I did do this sometimes, but more often he got crusty looks and passive-aggressive comments.

Instead, I wish I would have greeted him with warmth and kindness every day. I wish he could have counted on that. I know it would have helped me feel better about who I was and what I was doing with my marriage. It probably would have helped him feel more interested in being around me as well.

2. I wish I would have made myself feel pretty more often

After many years of marriage, a person can forget that her husband is also her boyfriend. I did. I didn't try to look my best when he came home. I tried a few things a few times, but not often. Fixing my hair, putting on a little makeup, and wearing attractive clothes really improves the way I feel about myself - and that helps the way I treat others.

3. I wish I would have apologized more

I sometimes make the same mistake twice, or don't stop myself before making a rude comment. I do, however, recognize when I make a mistake and do my best to apologize to those around me.

I think though, that these repeated mistakes bothered him. So at some point, I stopped saying sorry. Maybe I wanted him to start taking more responsibility for our disagreements, instead of me always being the one to initiate making up. But I shouldn't have stopped saying it, anyway. I should have said it as often as I meant it, and more often.

4. I wish I would have taken steps to get myself mentally healthy

I had a lot of misconceptions and errors in thinking during my marriage. I wish I would have realized sooner that I — not my husband — was responsible for my own happiness. I should have taken efforts to get myself there, regardless of my husband's choices.

For me, that required mental health counseling and a lot of scaling back on things outside the home. Once I scaled back, I was able to really focus on real needs to get myself into a good place.

I would have enjoyed marriage quite a bit more if I didn't rely on the status of our relationship to dictate how I felt about myself and how I treated others.

5. I wish I would have planned more one-on-one time outside the home

We both enjoyed being at home, watching TV or browsing the Internet. But we forgot to date each other. I would have enjoyed marriage more if I had been more proactive about making that happen.

Being mentally healthy would have helped with that. Having a better self-image would have helped me work through the difficulties. I wish I wouldn't have given up on that, even when it felt one-sided. Because that's part of the fun of marriage - spending time together!

Had I done these things listed above, I would have enjoyed marriage more, and I would have set a better example to my daughters of how to be a wife.

Now, enough regret - on to learning from the past and making the future better!

The post What I wish I would have done: Lessons from my divorce appeared first on FamilyToday.

So often, we hear a new mother lament, "I wish my baby came with an instruction manual!" Mothers want something tangible that will tell them how to care for their infants and children - something to tell them how to interpret their children's cries, how to distinguish needs from wants, how to help their kids eat and sleep and care for themselves, and many other unknowns.

I believe that babies do come with an instruction manual, and that manual is called breastfeeding. When used properly, breastfeeding not only teaches mothers how to feed their infants but also how to care for growing children and find fulfillment in mothering. When used properly, breastfeeding is a marvelous teacher of "How to Nurture 101."

Yet mothers are sometimes told by books, experts or popular culture that they should be the teachers. These mothers "tell" breastfeeding, "I want to nurse my baby, but on my terms. Every three or four hours works. And only in locations that work for me - never when I'm out of the house. And I'd like to sleep at least six hours a night, please." I find that when mothers try to "teach" breastfeeding what they want from it, they don't seem to learn all that it can teach them.

Breastfeeding teaches mothers something different.

While each mother learns unique lessons from breastfeeding (depending on the needs of each child and mother), here are the mothering lessons breastfeeding taught me.

Holding my child close is healing for both of us

Breastfeeding has taught me that my children need to be close to me as much as they need food. It has also taught me that nursing my children is a great way for me to relieve stress.

Nursing a baby fixes so many problems. The breastfeeding instruction manual says that, no matter if it's a "hurt cry" or a "hungry cry" or a "lonely cry," sooner or later, nursing is usually the cure.

Once I learned this about my nurslings, it was so much more peaceful to nurse them. No longer did I wonder, "You just ate! How can you be hungry again?" Instead, I knew that whether it was for food or for comfort, my body was the solution.

At the same time, when my babies nursed, hormones released in my body, helping me feel more calm and peaceful.

Even though most of my children no longer nurse, I have found that holding them close for tough conversations helps relieve tension and stress in both of us. When giving my kids correction or reminders, or when telling them about something sad that's happened, I hold them close. When I am feeling extra frustrated with normal childlike behavior, I hold them close. Breastfeeding taught me that holding my children close benefits all of us.

I may need to stop what I'm doing now to attend to my children's needs, even when I wish my kids would wait a while.

Breastfeeding is very good at teaching mothers to trust that their infant's wants are their infant's needs. If a baby wants to nurse, the baby needs to nurse. Breastfeeding helps mothers understand that they can respond quickly to babies' early nursing cues, like fluttering eyelids or yawning.

Many mothers find themselves waiting to nurse their babies until they've finished the last few dishes or folded a few more clothes, but these mothers miss out on nursing opportunities - opportunities for nurturing and mothering. In many instances, a mother's milk supply, her baby's contentment and her own satisfaction with the role of mothering can be affected for the worse when baby is made to wait.

Breastfeeding teaches a mother to nurse as soon as her baby signals (or even before) and then finish the dishes or laundry. Then baby can nurse again when mom finishes her chores. By following this lesson, milk supply, baby's demeanor and mother's satisfaction are all affected for the better.

Breastfeeding taught me this lesson: to attend to my children's needs first, even when I wish my kids could wait a bit longer. I am actively using this lesson with my school-aged children. Stories from their days at school, their unexpected questions about life, their ideas about the present and the future - sometimes these things won't wait for me to finish my phone call or my email. My kids will get busy doing something else, or they'll forget what they were going to say. Frequently, I need to stop now and listen to them. If I don't, I'll likely miss precious mothering opportunities.

I can trust my mothering instinct

Breastfeeding teaches a mother that she knows her children best. It teaches her that she has the solution to her children's hurts, fears, loneliness and hunger. It helps mothers tap into their mothering instincts and to help those instincts grow and blossom.

Several distinct hormones, often referred to as "mothering hormones," are released in the body when a mother nurses. These produce feelings of calm and relaxation. Isn't it much more manageable to handle the stresses of motherhood when feeling calm and relaxed? In this state, a mother more easily separates her fears from her instincts.

These lessons on trusting our instincts continue to serve us as we mother our older children. While nursing, we become more sensitive and attuned to our children's needs, and that sensitivity continues in all aspects of our lives - both in and out of the home and even after the nursing years are over.

Through breastfeeding, I have been empowered as a mother and as a woman. I am endlessly grateful for the lessons that breastfeeding has taught me.

The post 3 surprising life lessons breastfeeding teaches appeared first on FamilyToday.