Bruce and Claire were always spending money on things — electronics, vacations, cars and everything else. Their neighbor Bob was envious of all the things they had. If he saw an ad for a new electronic device, Bruce and Claire soon had it. They were always buying, buying, buying, but it didn't look like it made them happy. They're always looking for more, as if that new thing would finally make them happy.

Eventually, they couldn't keep up with their monthly payments. Bob heard the couple arguing, and one day Bruce told Bob that he was jealous of him. Bob wondered why, and Bruce said he envied the peace in Bob's home.

Financial stress is a common cause of marital problems. It can destroy marriages by bringing out or worsening problems that would not have otherwise arisen.

Many types of professionals provide financial advice on managing money, but having good attitudes about money can help you avoid financial stress.

Here are five ways of thinking that can help avoid marriage-destroying financial stress:

1. Appreciate what you have

Focus on being grateful for all you have instead of making yourself miserable thinking about what you lack. Forgive yourself for financial mistakes you made in the past and those missed opportunities you regret letting slip through your fingers.

When you think of something you don't have, immediately replace that thought with something you're grateful for. This is difficult at first, but keep doing it. Move beyond the idea that things will make you happy. Feel rich by appreciating everything you have.

2. Don't be jealous

Envy can lead to emotional decisions to buy things you can't afford. Don't buy things to impress others and make them envious. Those few seconds of glory for yourself aren't worth the marital stress. Keep your spending under control and let others envy the peace in your home.

3. Don't buy a house you can't afford

Some couples think buying a bigger house will make them happier. Often the opposite occurs as financial stress leads to more conflict. Getting in over your head with a house can cause stress that goes on for years.

Keep housing expenses manageable so you can handle your income going down or your expenses going up. It's better to have a small home where there's peace, than a big house where there's stress.

4. Be realistic

Be careful with family finances. Be realistic about what you can afford. Just because a lender wants to lend you money, it doesn't mean paying it back won't cause financial stress. Some people get into debt buying things they can't afford because they tell themselves that in the future they'll have more money and will repay the debt, but it often doesn't happen.

5. Think about investments

When investing, consider if the investment will cause financial stress. It may be wise — for the benefit of your marriage — to avoid investments that could cause short-term financial stress even if it might be profitable in the long run.

If you're careful with your money, you can avoid financial stress and have a happier marriage.

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My good friend was a very successful businessman. Then due to several mistakes he made in his business, he lost everything. Things were so difficult, he and his wife and daughter had to move in with his mother-in-law. They were so broke they couldn't afford to buy clothes for their growing daughter. His wife had to sew clothes for her.

Together, they learned from the mistakes he made in his business, gradually rebuilt and were successful again. They were much closer and he felt his love for wife grew.

When my friend tells this story, he says, "I couldn't have done it without my wife. Marrying her was the best thing I ever did." Other men are often jealous.

Many men have dreams and ambitions, and part of their dream is having a wife who will help them reach their goals.

That great man loves his woman more than anything in the world. With his amazing woman at his side, he will say, "I'm the luckiest man in the world to have her as my wife."

Here are six ways to become that woman:

1. Be his partner

A man wants to feel that, together, he and his wife can overcome every challenge and conquer the world. A man often assumes a woman knows how important this is to him. He will tell her about his goals to see if she wants to be his partner in achieving them. Show him that you'll stick by him through anything.

2. Help him

If your husband asks you to help him with an endeavour, especially where he needs someone he trusts, try your best to help him. A man believes that with his wife's help, he can accomplish things he couldn't do without her. Look for ways to help him.

3. Be loyal

The great woman behind a great man is beside him in good and bad times. Their success together is not because they had very few challenges. They had a lot of challenges, but they took them on together and grew closer as a result. Let challenges bring you closer, not draw you apart.

4. Be supportive

Great people rarely succeed on their first try. There are often setbacks. When he feels discouraged, help bring him up. He trusts a great woman to talk to about his doubts. It means a lot to him when you encourage him to have faith in his abilities. Show him that you're on his side.

5. Give him constructive feedback

He looks to you for thoughtful feedback. If you think what he wants to do is a good idea, tell him. If you think it's not a good idea, too risky or he's acting rashly, tell him why. Communicate in the way he needs to hear it. Use words and a tone of voice that will make him feel respected and thankful for your comments. Your thoughts are valuable to him.

6. Help him grow as a person

If you think it would help him achieve his vision, encourage him to take on challenges that will help him grow. Also encourage him to develop skills that you think will help him succeed.

Preparing yourself to become a great woman will eventually lead you to an amazing man if you don't already have one. Work on these six traits to help improve your relationship and help you and your sweetheart succeed.

The post How to be that great woman that men love forever appeared first on FamilyToday.

When you ask your husband his opinion, how many times does he just let you decide? Why doesn't he just step up to the plate and show some leadership? A lot of men say they've tried, but felt criticized and undermined. They gave in but got shot down, and eventually gave up and left all leadership roles to their wives.

Many men grow up thinking that saying "you decide" shows they're not controlling, which makes for a happy wife, right? Not so much. Now they can't understand why women are frustrated with them.

Here are six things a woman can do to reduce this frustration and encourage her husband to show more leadership:

1. Don't make decisions for him. Let him decide

You're going out for dinner and he asks you to choose a restaurant. Say "you decide," and then don't say anything else. When he makes a decision, support it. Trust that he is able to make a good decision even though it may be different than what you would have decided.

2. Avoid criticizing him, even jokingly

A lot of men believe having their wives make decisions is playing it safe - they think they won't be criticized if they make a mistake or if their wives don't like their decision. To encourage your husband to take the lead more, avoid contradicting him unless what he wants to do is dangerous. If you must suggest something significantly different, do it in private - not in front of the children or anyone else. Using the sandwich technique is also helpful: first tell him something positive, then your kind suggestions for change and end with more positive comments.

3. Give him opportunities to show leadership

Keep him informed of situations where his leadership would help. Invite him to help out and take charge. Don't tell him what to do. If he asks, tell him to decide and do research. Keep suggesting opportunities for him to show leadership. It may take a few tries until he realizes he needs to keep looking for situations that need his leadership and start dealing with them.

4. Don't let him put you in control

If he always asks for your permission to do something, tell him to stop asking. Inform him that he doesn't need your permission for every little thing.

5. Encourage him to have male friends who are leaders

Think of men who would be good role models for your husband. Encourage your man to be friends with leaders. Make friends with other couples where the man shows leadership. Don't compare the other man to your husband, just let your husband be inspired by watching how other men lead.

6. Tell him you appreciate him

When he steps forward to show leadership, tell him how much you appreciate him for dealing with the situation.

It can be frustrating if you are the only one in this marriage who shows leadership. Instead of dwelling on your frustration, encourage your husband to help make decisions and support his choices when he does step up to the plate.

The post 6 ways to stop unknowingly undermining your husband (and how to encourage him to show more leadership) appeared first on FamilyToday.