Let’s talk about self-care and self-love for a moment.  Self-care is something that we do deliberately.  It's when we take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health.  Agnes Wainman, Ph.D. C.Psych. has defined self-care as "something that refuels us rather than takes from us."  Each of us knows our own heart and what we need to feel empowered and happy inside.  Look for little things that bring you joy and relax you.  They don't have to be big things.  Sometimes simple self-care that is only a few minutes a day can revive your soul in profound ways.  Schedule self-care into you daily routine if you need to.

Certain times of the year and during certain life events we may need more self-care and love than normal.  Be aware of those times.  For instance, many of us get stressed out and overwhelmed during the holidays.  Christmas can be a busy time for almost everyone, especially women.  If you know that you normally get stressed out during certain holidays or during regular times in your life, then plan ahead for a little extra love.  Put one thing that is just for you on your to-do list, or get up a little early to read your favorite book or meditate for a few minutes.  Plan exercise into your schedule or treat yourself to something special during these busy times.

Some stressful life events can be unexpected and we are not able to plan around them, such as moving, career changes, death, or family issues.  In these instances, look at the big picture.  What is most important in your life.  Remember to take care of the things that are of the utmost importance first.  If you need to get extra help or delegate some of your other duties, then give that gift to yourself.  Realize that it’s okay to let go of some of the petty and less significant matters that clutter our day to day lives.  Self-care is not one of those insignificant matters though.  Do not push it to the wayside.  If you take care of yourself in little ways each day during the hard life events of life, then you’ll be better able to take care of others.

Self-care does not need to be time consuming or something that takes over all of your life.  It doesn’t mean you go around being selfish and uncaring or other’s needs or your other responsibilities.  As you’ll see in the examples below, self-love can be very simple.  Often self-care involves helping other people or connecting with friends.  Sometimes, it means connecting with nature, enhancing your mind, or doing something to feel healthy.  Self-care should be positive.  Self-care can be small things, but they should be enjoyable, fulfilling things.  Take a little time to be deliberate about taking care of yourself.  Enjoy it and make it meaningful.

So take a few moments today to give yourself a present.  It doesn't necessarily have to be a physical gift that is all wrapped up with ribbons and bows.  In fact, sometimes the more abstract, non-physical gifts are the most rewarding.  There are many kinds of gifts to give yourself.  Take a look below at these 47 gifts to give yourself.  Pick a few that might be helpful to you this week.  Keep this list handy for when you are in need of a little self-care, and be sure to surprise yourself with a little gift once in a while.

1. Walk instead of ride
2. Give yourself a compliment
3. Look at the stars
4. Use a new word
5. Forget an old grudge
6. Take yourself to lunch
7. Help a stranger
8. Try a new food
9. Read a poem
10. Be thankful
11. Read an uplifting book
12. Jump in a pile of leaves
13. Tell someone you love him/her
14. Feed the ducks
15. Take a risk
16. Ignore your phone
17. Hug a friend
18. Take a nap
19. Learn something new
20. Walk in rain
21. Meditate
22. List 10 things you do well
23. Waste a little time
24. Stop and listen
25. Walk in the rain
26. Try to feel another person's hurt
27. Turn off the TV and talk
28. Pay a compliment
29. Visit a lonely person
30. Surprise a child
31. Tell a joke
32. Volunteer
33. Acknowledge when you are wrong
34. Be kind to a pet
35. Have breakfast in bed
36. Let someone help you
37. Watch a sunset
38. Do something hard
39. Send a card to someone for no reason
40. Drink hot cocoa
41. Let someone love you
42. Smell a flower
43. Allow yourself to make a mistake
44. Text someone you've been thinking about
45. Pray
46. Organize something
47. Do something you've always wanted to do

Now that you’ve seen this big list of gifts you can give yourself, take a minute or two to think of some gifts you would like to give yourself.  Jot a few ideas down and try to do at least of those things for yourself today!

The post 47 Gifts to Give Yourself This Year appeared first on FamilyToday.

Picture me, a typical frazzled mom at Walmart. I'm with all my kids. It's the peak hours on a Saturday. I'm trying to get a loaded list done in time to get us all to an appointment. I've already told my kids ten times already, "No we are not buying the puffed cheese balls," and "Please stay by Mommy!" and "Take the Pillow Pet out of the cart and back on the shelf".

It is at that moment, with me in the "why me?" state, that my 5 year old says to me from her front seat in the cart, "I wish I could live at Carrie's house. Her mom is so nice." (Names have been changed to protect the lucky child that actually has a nice mom). I stop dead in my tracks. I don't know if I am surprised, hurt, or just plain annoyed. Now remember, it is my youngest child that said this. She's 5 years old. It is not my tween, who is at the likely stage of life for this sort of comment. It is not my son, who would say almost anything to get out of ever having to go shopping again. Nope, it is my baby girl. The child I still put to bed with a story and a song every night. The child I still cut sandwiches into little triangles for.

What is the perfect mommy answer to this? Should I ignore it? Probably.

Do I? No.

I begin with a frustrated, angry-type response. "That's mean to say."

Then I move to manipulation. "That makes Mommy sad after all I've done for you and all the fun we've had."

Then I go to sarcasm. "Besides, NO mommy is nice all the time. Carrie's mommy is mean sometimes too. Geesh!"

It's hard to tell what my baby girl is thinking sometimes. So I don't know which of my responses, if any, really get through to her. I finish my nightmare of a Walmart trip, surviving the longest wait in the check-out line ever.

That night, after all has calmed down and I've had time to think, I realize something. I forgot to respond to her with love. I should have hugged her and told her how much I'd miss her if she lived somewhere else.
I decide it's not too late for this.

As I put her to bed, I tell her how much she means to me and how sad I'd be without her. My baby girl gives me a gigantic hug and with tears in her eyes, she tells me, "Mommy, I don't want another mom. You are the best mom--even if you aren't always nice." I hug her back. No response but that this time.
Maybe she just needed to hear that she is loved. Maybe I just needed to hear that I'm the best, even if I'm not the nicest. Maybe we all just needed a good nap. But no matter what we always need love, and it’s okay to give a little extra of that everyday.

How to respond to your child with LOVE when your child annoys you

1. Calm down. Count to 10 or even 100 if you need to. Remove yourself from the situation for a moment. Wait until you feel less angry. It was quite a few hours before I was ready.
2. Don’t take it personally. Don't take all your child's words personally. They are still learning and they still love you. They need you to show them by example how to respond to mean words and turn the situation around. Sometimes there is another reason they are saying these things. It could be a signal that they need a little extra parenting and some positive attention.
3. It’s never too late. It's never too late to respond with love. Even after the situation is over, you can always go back and give more love. Don't forget that children need extra love and affirmations from you after they've had a hard or negative experience.

Good luck! It's an on-going process and it’s okay if you have to just keep trying as you work at your relationship with your child.

The post How to Deal With an Annoying Child appeared first on FamilyToday.

Fathers set the example for their sons and boys will seek approval from their dad at a very young age.  When our son was 2 years old he would go around the house in diapers carrying his little toy hammer and banging on the furniture.  Even though we didn't like him creating dents in our furniture, we couldn't help but enjoy watching our son pretend to work like a man.  He had seen his father use a hammer and tools around the house and he wanted to do the same.  My husband also remembers that one of the memorable examples his father set for him was when his father told him as a boy that he could say any words that he heard his father say.  By setting this rule down, my husband's father was very careful to refrain from swearing as he knew his son could copy anything he heard him say.  My husband says he never heard his father cuss or use bad language.  One of the best gifts a father can give his son is approval, love, and a good example.  Fathers can take advantage of one on one moments to teach their sons a few important values and life lessons.

A few ways to get in a teaching moment could be:

• At bedtime: Talk to your son before bed.  Kids are often calmer and ready to listen as they settle down at night.
• One on one activity: Take time out of your week and do something fun with your son.  Use this time to talk and teach important values.
• Work side by side: Let your son be near you as you work on things around the house or as you help others.  Let them try their hand at some new skills.  Talk to them as you work.
• Everyday example: One of the best ways to teach your son is by how you live your life every single day.  He'll likely follow your good example if you just keep trying your best.

So what are some of the most important things a father needs to tell his son?  When life gets busy it can be hard for a father to know where to start when teaching and talking to his child.  Here's seven things a father should teach his son to help him get started.

1. "I love you."

Many times it can be hard for a dad to say those simple words, but don't forget how much your son needs to hear it.  Saying I love you doesn't have to be a long, dramatic event like we see on TV.  It can be just a simple phrase that you add onto a quick goodbye as your son leaves for school.

2. "It's okay to make mistakes."

Boys need to know that making mistakes is a part of learning and a part of being human.  Teach your son to fix his mistakes, repair the damage, and to learn and move on afterwards.  Remind them that each mistake teaches them to be a better person.

3. "Honesty matters."

It also brings the highest form of respect.  If you want your son to find true success in life, teach him honesty by exemplifying it yourself.  Remind him that being honest at all times takes a lot of courage and being courageous will make him a great man.

4. "Do the right thing even when it's hard."

Your son needs to hear that being a real man means doing the right thing, even when it's hard.  Remind him not to make excuses, but to take responsibility for his actions.  Though this may be hard for him to learn at first, it will be very valuable in the long run.

5. "It's okay to work hard."

Hard work is good for the soul and for building character.  Hard work brings results as well as feeling of accomplishment.  Teaching your son to work hard and finish the job will help him succeed in more than one way in life.  He'll learn to accomplish goals and even achieve his dreams.  Learning to not give up will keep your son afloat even in hard times.

6. "Treat the woman in your life better than you treat yourself."

Show your son how to treat his future wife with respect and dignity by doing it yourself.  Teach him that being a man is being respectful and loving to his family.  Show him that relationships and family are the most important thing in the world by making them the priority in your own life.

7. "I'm your biggest fan."

Above all, make sure your son knows you got his back.  No matter what happens in life, he needs to know that you will be there for him.  Life will bring challenges for your son and he'll be able to overcome them better if he knows he always has the support of his dad.  Support him in hard times.  Talk to him daily.  Stay in the loop about his life and his world.  Become his biggest fan and your relationship will be stronger than ever.

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Do you have a child who is scared of Halloween? Some kids like to stay away from the scary part of Halloween and that is okay. My three children have pretty big imaginations and were especially sensitive when they were younger to creepy Halloween movies and they would avoid trick or treating at any house that had "jump scare" type decorations outside. Young children often have many fears as their imagination develops. Halloween is a magical, imaginative time, but many of the traditional things can be scary to a young child who doesn't understand all that is behind it. As a parent, I was happy to help them avoid these scary things, since it kept them from sleeping in my bedroom for the whole month of October. But it's hard to completely avoid all thing Halloween forever. There's no need to "toughen them up" while they are young, and it’s okay to help them enjoy the happier side of Halloween while trying to understand and teach them to conquer their fears. So if this sounds familiar to you, let's talk about how to help kids who may be afraid of Halloween. Here are seven ways to make Halloween not so scary.

1. Talk about what's behind the costume.

Sometimes even seeing someone they know in a scary costume can be hard for a child. Help them understand what goes into making those costumes. Show them videos of costume makeup transformations or take them to the costume aisle at the store and remind them how it's really just a regular person behind the mask, and wig, and makeup. If there is someone in your family who wants to wear a scary costume, let your child be a part of the process and see how the person they love is really still there and that it's just pretend.

2. Fill your home with less scary decorations.

There are plenty of cute and delightful Halloween decorations out there. Since many people have the scary decorations out, you could fill your home with the less scary decor of pumpkins and happy-faced ghosts to help your kids focus on that part of Halloween instead.

3. Understand their fear of monsters and ghosts.

If your child is afraid of creepy monsters and booing ghosts, start by acknowledging their fears. You could also have them draw pictures or act out stories about these fears so that you can understand what exactly they are afraid of. Act out stories or role play where a character finds out the monster is not real. This helps you be able to discuss their fears and how those creatures are just pretend.

4. Visit the pumpkin patch.

The pumpkin patch still holds magical Halloween charm as we've all witnessed in the movie, It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. The fall festivals and pumpkin patches around town have also increased in popularity and can make Halloween still feel very festive without all the gore. Avoid the haunted houses and other frightening events. If your child is still worried about those places, talk about what really happens behind the scenes and how it's just regular people running them.

5. Help them understand the dark.

Many young children are afraid of the dark. Halloween seems to be focused on the darkness. We trick or treat at night, haunted houses are always dark, and most Halloween movies have scenes in the darkness. Kids may see these movies or images, and feel scared. Darkness creates a fear of the unknown and often their imaginations are very alive when they are young, making this fear even greater. Stay calm whenever your child freaks out in the dark. Show them that darkness is okay by turning the light on and off and showing them how everything is still the same. Help your child feel empowered by giving them the things they need to feel safe. This could be a special blanket, stuffed animal, night light, or maybe just a reassurance that their caregiver will check on them in five minutes.

6. Go over safety rules.

Many times kids feel scared because they feel unsafe. Remind them of the safety rules on Halloween so they can feel more control over the situation as they trick or treat. Halloween safety rules such as not going inside anyone's house, only eating candy after a parent has looked it over, staying with your group, and wearing reflective clothing or taking a flashlight will help your child feel less scared about Halloween.

7. Focus on the happy.

Since there can be a lot of scary stuff going around a week or so before Halloween, focus on the happy of Halloween with your children. Read happy Halloween books, and watch the less scary Halloween movies out there. If you are unsure about the content, watch or read the media first before letting your child do so. It's also okay, to not let Halloween activities consume all of your family time during October. Keep regular routines and do some normal activities to help your child not feel overwhelmed by the scary parts of the holiday.

No matter how you celebrate the Halloween holiday, just make sure the make it fun for the whole family. Find ways to laugh and connect with your family members as much as you can so it can be a memorable year!

The post 7 Tips When Your Kid is Afraid of Halloween appeared first on FamilyToday.

Ten years ago, I walked into a church building in Arkansas not knowing a single person and feeling very alone. We had uprooted our little family for the sixth time, and I felt very unsure of myself knowing every friend I had was now 1,452 miles away.

Within a few seconds, a woman 30 years my senior sat down next to me. In a thick southern accent she said to me, "Hello! I'm Noramae. I don't think I've met you. What's your name?" Noramae was open and kind, so I told her about myself. She told me she was a school bus driver who lived on the other side of town. Then Noramae handed me a little card with her phone number on it. She said, "Here's my number. If you need anything, just call me. I've lived here forever and can help you."

In less time than it takes to order a burger from the drive-through, Noramae had done something remarkable. She'd made a new friend. It didn't matter that we were seemingly different from each other in age, culture and upbringing. She created a friendship that lasted many years within a few minutes.

Want to make a new friend? Here are five super easy things to say to make friends with anyone:

1. " Hello!"

Duh. I know this is so obvious, right? But think about how many times we pass by people every day without a simple greeting. In fact, we sometimes even avoid eye contact altogether. "Hello" is the easiest word to say, and it reaps huge rewards when it comes to friendship. It's the first place to start.

2. "So, what's your name?"

Introduce yourself and find out who you are talking to. People love their names and respond when you use them. Without being creepy, learn a stranger's name, remember it, and use it as you converse.

3. "Can I help?"

It happens in the movies all the time - a character drops all of his books and another person stops to help pick them up. Pretty soon, the two are best friends. As cliché as it seems, helping is the best way to become a friend to anyone. Lift a heavy load, open a door, clean up a mess. There are so many possibilities. Noramae offered me help and gave me her card. We talked on the phone countless times afterward and became wonderful friends. We learned to love each other's families and found our age gap did not hinder our friendship.

4. " Thank you"

Friendship takes two. If someone is kind to you, respond with gratitude. Saying "thank you" is one way, but if you're tongue-tied, try writing a note, responding with a smile or nod, or return the kindness in some way.

5. Don't say anything. Shut up and listen.

Sometimes, you just shouldn't say anything at all. Stop talking about yourself and listen to what the other person has to say. Ask him questions, pay attention to his story, and just be there for him. As it turned out, Noramae loved to talk. Our conversations could go on for hours as I listened to her tell stories in that thick southern accent. I have since moved from Arkansas and Noramae recently passed away, but I'll never forget our simple friendship and the wisdom I gleaned from Noramae.

Making friends is a process, but it begins with a few simple words. I still have Noramae's little card that she gave me all those years ago. It reminds me how far a kind word can go. It reminds me to get out of my comfort zone, help another person, smile and make a new friend. It reminds me that goodness can overpower sadness, selfishness and all that is ugly in this hard world. It reminds me that, sometimes, all it takes is a simple "hello."

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Bicker. I love the word bicker. Not that I love bickering, but I think it's the perfect word to describe itself and its meaning. To BICKER means to argue about petty, trivial matters.

I've noticed that as my children grow, bickering has become more common. I think it's because they've increased in their ability to argue. In case you need an example, below is one of our most recent Bickering Battle:

Picture my sweet household at Easter time, having a family memory of coloring Easter eggs together. The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. And little boiled eggs are being plopped into cups of colored vinegar water. Sweet Tween is in charge and helping prevent spills. Little Son is methodical and carefully plans his colors. Baby Girl is delighted with each egg as it turns a new color. Baby Girl scoops up an egg out of its water bath and squeals happily, "Ooooh! It's BLUE!" Sweet Tween looks over, "Uh, I think that's PURPLE." "No, it's BLUE," Baby Girl calmly replies without even looking up (she's used to this). Little Son now looks at the egg, "You know, it's actually INDIGO." (Whaaat? Who even knows that color?!) Baby Girl again, "It's BLUE."

Little Son, "No, that's INDIGO!" Voices are now rising. Tension is strong. The fun is leaving our home.

Sweet Tween, "Whatever. Just let her think it's BLUE."

Baby Girl, "But IT IS BLUE!"

Little Son, "I'm just telling her what INDIGO is!"

Finally, I say with a sigh, "OK, stop the BICKERING! It can be whatever color each of you wants it to be, and it's OK if someone has a different opinion ... Blah blah blah and so on." Even though I thought it was kinda funny, I often try to curb our bickering because I don't want them to put someone else down in order to make themselves higher/smarter/cooler or whatever. I want them to recognize it, even in small situations.

They do stop bickering because they know if they don't I'll eventually put someone in time-out, give out chores, or take away privileges if it gets any worse.

Later when Easter was over and all the eggs had been eaten, I noticed one egg left in the fridge. It was the BLUE/PURPLE/INDIGO egg. No one wanted it. It was going rotten. How symbolic.

I thought about this afterward. Bickering is like that rotten egg. It seems small and insignificant. But if we let it continue and just leave it, pretty soon that small egg can stink up the whole house. Bickering may be a small thing, but it can stink up the whole household.

I'm glad my children are independent thinkers. I'm glad they feel inclined to express their firm opinions. But I also think they need to learn when to just LET IT GO and respect each other and their ideas. They do not always need to prove themselves to be right. I'm trying to teach this, but it's an on-going battle.

How many times do we as adults let a rotten egg into our conversations with the people we love? How many times do we let our Bickering Battles get the best of us just so we can prove we are right? What would the result be if we let go of our pride and let respect for other people take over instead?

So maybe just for today, throw out the rotten egg, end the bickering, and move on.

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I'm a sentimental fool. I accept this. I save the pictures my kidlets draw for me. I take photos of every step they take. I get teary-eyed every time they go through a new milestone.

And so yes, I have been wiping my eyes these past few days as I realize my kidlets are finishing the school year and growing up. Little Son is done with fourth grade and moving up into the "big kid grades"� of elementary school. Sweet Tween is in Junior High in September. And Baby Girl is finishing up first grade ... *sniff, sniff.

So if you are like me, and you have serious issues with your children growing up (like The Neverland Syndrome), how can we mothers combat this sad feeling of our babies leaving the nest when they haven't even learned to fly yet? And what about that guilty feeling of wishing we had more time to be a better parent for them?

The secret is to ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN. So here's three practical tips on HOW TO SURVIVE SENTIMENTAL SADNESS and just ENJOY your children. They aren't rocket science, but they work even in the busiest of times. They may help you when your sentimentality and guilt gets the best of you:

1. Spend time with them.

This seems obvious, but when you really think about it, sometimes our days are so busy that we don't even have time for dinner together. Take a break from blogging ... um, the things that consume your time, and ask them what they would like to do together or just chat with them. Sometimes you have to really create these moments in order for them to happen. When I realized I needed to spend more time with Baby Girl, I planned a specific time to play dolls with her. We played every day after breakfast before I did anything else. Sometimes it's just for 10 minutes. That's OK. Ten minutes a day is better than zero minutes.

2. Turn off the media.

This goes for both parent and child. I love media and all the devices out there. They are great tools. But sometimes I find myself texting right when my child is trying to talk to me and then I don't really hear them or give them my full focus. And same with my kidlets. They need time to engage with us and others without the constant pull of video games or as I say "the addicting glow of electronics."�

3. Make four minutes count.

Set limits and follow through with them. Years ago someone gave me the advice to make the first four minutes of the day AND the last four minutes of the day with your child a positive experience. Greet them in the morning with hugs and some small talk before you start nagging them to get ready for school. Then at night tuck them in and chat about their day, sing a song, read a story, or just give them a hug. Not even five minutes! No matter what happens in the middle of the day, you'll begin and end the day right. I have tried this for many years. It helps me feel better, especially on hard mom days. No guilt attached. Just good times.

I hope this helps clear the tears for some of you. And no matter what JUST LOVE 'EM. A little love goes a long way.

The post 3 ways to enjoy your children appeared first on FamilyToday.

And then I immediately stopped myself from my own thinking and said to myself, "Now hold on, Lisa. You know better than that."I paused my tomato dicing and looked out the kitchen window. I saw Baby Girl and Little Son out there teaching our new puppy, Honey, how to fetch a tennis ball. They were both giggling at the dog's antics, a soft breeze was blowing, and it was actually quite a picturesque scene - straight from a Hallmark commercial. And maybe it was just God's way of reminding me of something I already knew: ORDINARY, EVERYDAY THINGS are IMPORTANT too.

There's more to it than just that though. Let me explain.

You have to remember that my husband is in the medical field. It can be hard to compete with a person who is in the profession of saving lives. That's pretty IMPORTANT. Sometimes I can't see how dicing tomatoes and watching children play in the backyard can even compare with that. But I learned something recently that has helped me a lot (and apparently I need to tell it to myself more often). I want to pass onto you. It is that JUST BECAUSE ONE PERSON DOES SOMETHING IMPORTANT, IT DOESN'T MEAN WHAT YOU DO IS LESS IMPORTANT.

I actually say all the time to my children, "Just because someone is pretty, it doesn't mean you are not." or "Just because someone has a talent, doesn't mean you do not have one."

Just because my daily tasks as a mom seem more ordinary to the world, does not mean that what I do is not IMPORTANT. In fact, it's exactly the opposite. Heaven knows Motherhood is one of the most powerful and vital roles a woman can have. It's a role that changes and shapes society and the generations of the future. It's a role that brings love and security and happiness to the world. That's pretty IMPORTANT.

So just remember you're a "V.I.P" - sing with me now - "in your family." No, really ... don't ever forget how IMPORTANT your role of a mom is. You are changing the world, one child at a time.

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Picture me, a typical frazzled mom at Walmart. I'm with all my kids. It's the peak hours on a Saturday. I'm trying to get a loaded list done in time to get us all to an appointment. I've already told my kidlets 10 times already, "No we are not buying the puffed cheese balls," and "Please stay by Mommy!" and "Take the Pillow Pet out of the cart and put it back on the shelf."

It is at that moment, with me in the "why me?" state, that Baby Girl says to me from her front seat in the cart, "I wish I could live at Carrie's house. Her mom is so nice." (Names have been changed to protect the innocent child that actually has a nice mom).

I stop dead in my tracks. I don't know if I am surprised, hurt, or just plain annoyed. Now remember, it is Baby Girl that said this. She's 5 years old. It is not Sweet Tween, who is at the likely stage of life for this sort of comment. It is not Little Son, who would say almost anything to get out of ever having to go shopping again. Nope, it is Baby Girl. The child I still put to bed with a story and a song every night. The child I still cut sandwiches into little triangles for.

What is the perfect mommy answer to this? Should I ignore it? Probably. Do I? No.

I begin with a frustrated, angry-type response. "That's mean to say."

Then I move to manipulation. "That makes Mommy sad after all I've done for you and all the fun we've had."

Then I go to sarcasm. "Besides, NO mommy is niceall the time. Carrie's mommy is mean sometimes too. Geesh!"

It's hard to tell what Baby Girl is thinking sometimes. So I don't know which of my responses, if any, really get through to her. I finish my nightmare Walmart trip, surviving the longest wait in the check-out line ever.

That night, after all has calmed down and I've had time to think, I realize I forgot to respond to her with love. I should have hugged her and told her how much I'd miss her if she lived somewhere else.

I decide it's not too late for this.

As I put her to bed, I tell her how much she means to me and how sad I'd be without her. Baby Girl gives me a gigantic hug and with tears in her eyes, she tells me, "Mommy, I don't want another mom. You are the best mom - even if you aren't always nice." I hug her back. No response but that this time.

Maybe she just needed to hear that she is loved. Maybe I just needed to hear that I'm the best, even if I'm not the nicest.

How to respond to your child with LOVE

(the steps I should take next time!):

1. Count to 10 or even 100 if you need to. Remove yourself from the situation for a moment. Calm down.

2.Don't take all your child's words personally. They are still learning and they still love you. They need you to show them by example how to respond to mean words and turn the situation around.

3. It's never too late to respond with love. Even after the situation is over, you can always go back and give more love. Don't forget that children need extra love and affirmations from you after they've had a hard or negative experience.

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