I sit in rush hour traffic listening to more breaking news about the turmoil Hurricane Harvey is continuing to cause.

Crew speaks up from the back seat, "The hurricane show was on Grandpa's TV today." My six-year-old, who had been at his Grandparents earlier in the day, didn't comprehend that this show was reality.

His little mind filled with questions as I explained this was actually happening.

"Is Texas close to us?"

"Will the hurricane get us next?"

"Did anybody die?"

Teaching children is a balance between sharing truth and trying not to cause them unnecessary anxiety. My parenting style leans more toward honesty. So I gently explained to my son the reality of Hurricane Harvey.

Texas is close. These people affected are our brothers and sisters. We love them. We are praying for them. We pray they will be safe. The hurricane will not get us next. We are safe here. Yes, some people died. Some of those people were heroes, like Houston Police Officer Steve Perez.

Crew began asking follow-up questions then quickly got bored and asked me to turn the music on. I, however, was unable to stop thinking about his questions.

Just one week ago Texans were living normal lives, sitting in rush hour traffic just like me. Busying themselves with jobs, homes, to-do lists and now they are literally trying to keep their heads above water. Others weren't so lucky and their lives ended tragically.

I immediately felt guilty for being healthy, happy and spending the day running meaningless errands. I feel helpless. I'm not going to Texas to help. I can give money, which I know helps, but it still seems insignificant to the catastrophic total.

I pulled into my driveway overwhelmed with joy for my beautiful home. The sun was shining and the blue skies were perfection. Then out of the corner of my eye, my picture perfect view changed. Across the valley I saw a fire burning. Large, black clouds of smoke billowed up from behind the mountains. Another tragedy.

In this moment I realized a simple truth: tragedy is everywhere.

Tragedy is happening every single minute of every single day. It's happening in our homes. It's happening in our neighborhoods. Floods, fires, poverty, illness and death. Nobody is immune. Nobody can escape the path of tragedy. Maybe it's not a catastrophic weather event we have to deal with, but at some point in all our lives, we will deal with some type of tragedy.

In this moment of truth I knew exactly what I could do to make things better. I will choose to live my life; live this day to the fullest. I will be the best person I can be today. I will enjoy each moment that I can, while I can. None of us know when tragedy is coming for us, but we don't have to live in fear. I can honor the time God has given me.

I will continue to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, buy all the things on Amazon, run my boys to practice, open the mail, pay the bills, fold little boys laundry and read my seemingly unimportant emails. I will smile at others, look into my boys eyes while they are talking to me, turn on music and dance in my kitchen.

I will do my best to not take for granted the sunrises and the sunsets. I will ask God to bless those who are going through tragedies and in turn I will thank Him for my many blessings. If tragedy strikes my tiny corner of the world tomorrow, I will know that I didn't take today for granted. Even if I can't help my friends in Texas. I can live my best life in honor of the many people sacrificing their lives for goodness around the world.

The post This is what Hurricane Harvey taught me about tragedy appeared first on FamilyToday.

Instagram has been my favorite social media platform for the past six years. I gladly set aside Facebook as my "time waster of choice" to welcome this media outlet. It didn't take long before I was sucked into the abyss of social media ugliness. Toxic, overwhelming and a whole lot like high school.

No hard feelings Instagram. It's not you, it's me. Turns out it's not Facebook's fault either. Social media has a way of bringing out the best and the worst in all of us. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I think comedian Louis CK describes this perfectly when he explains, "everything is amazing and nobody is happy."

Instagram is filled with perfectly crafted depictions of life. I repeatedly tell myself this outlet is for the sake of my posterity so why do I feel bad when I see the amazing things others are doing? Why do I care about comments, likes, shares and followers?

Psychologist Sherry Turkle explains this dilemma perfectly, "In order to feel more, and to feel more like ourselves, we connect. But in our rush to connect, we flee from solitude, our ability to be separate and gather ourselves. Lacking the capacity for solitude, we turn to other people but don't experience them as they are. It is as though we use them, need them as spare parts to support our increasingly fragile selves."

We're too busy keeping up with each other online we have no time to connect with ourselves offline. We struggle to remember who we are, where we came from and where we are going. Lost in other people's photos, we lose sight of our own purpose.

I recently attempted a digital detox in an effort to reconnect with myself. It wasn't something I started on purpose - I naturally found myself pulling away little by little. Here are four shocking lessons I learned:

1. Posting on social media doesn't make something you did more real

My child still had a birthday, our family really did go on a hike together, we had an amazing family dinner with the most delicious food and my son learned how to tie his shoes. These things all happened during my digital detox and because I wasn't posting about them it left me feeling like it didn't really happen. In my mind, the event wasn't official unless I posted this information for the world to see. I am unable to enjoy my life for what it actually is because I have a nudging desire to make sure everyone knows the salad I just made was incredible! This was my first clue social media was triggering a self-induced indulgence coma.

2. Followers, likes and engagement has nothing to do with your value as a human being

All the popular Instagrammers remind us of this fact. We believe them when they tell us we need special toothpaste, a particular face wash and new eyelashes so why don't we believe them when they tell us we are all important?

I find myself haunted by those numbers at the top of my profile and the notifications on my phone. Everything on social media can be translated into a numerical value, but our precious souls can't be justified by numbers. Each one of us is beautiful and unique in our own way. No toothpaste, face wash or eyelash set will increase the value of our souls - our true infinite worth.

3. Social media is not for bystanders

You must comment, like, post and engage on social media if you want to feel connection. Just creeping through people's feeds is the equivalent of someone standing on the back porch and exploring the neighborhood with binoculars.

Participating on social media is an important part of using it properly. Towards the end of my digital detox I wasn't ready to make a comeback, but I started scrolling through the feeds of Instagram again. I felt worse about myself. When I took the time to leave a genuine comment or to interact with others, my scrolling had a purpose and I felt a connection.

4. Connecting in person is always more satisfying

My detox is over and I'm making my way back on social media. Seeing pictures of family and friends who live far away. Staying updated about former neighbors. Sharing information with classmates and teammates. Knowing about all the best products and deals.

However, no matter how strong our connections feel online, connecting in person feels better. Being able to give a friend a hug. Looking a family member in the eye while talking. Seeing another person's body language. These connections are irreplaceable. Online contact should never take the place of face to face connecting.

Amy Jo Martin, a social media strategist, shares her wisdom, "[social media] can be magical and offer huge benefits when we use it with specific intentions. Positivity can spread just as quickly as negativity." I now plan to use social media with much more intention than I have in the past. I plan to take advantage of the good it has to offer and work harder to ignore the bad.

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The world seems to be closing in around you. Light feels dark. Up seems to be down. Your thoughts race wildly. These moments can come suddenly and without warning. You've just been diagnosed with cancer. Your husband, the sole provider, just lost his lucrative job. You're pregnant with your second child, but can barely handle the tiny toddler you already have. Maybe its the move you've always dreamed of that now seems to be too much work. Or a financial crisis that is more than you can handle.

The circumstances will be different, but inevitably we'll all have times in our lives when we feel out of control. Here are 3 things you can do today change that feeling and regain control:

1. Do something you can control

No matter how difficult your life feels right now there is always something you can have control over. Clean your car. This is one small space in your life that you can control and make beautiful. If you don't have a car, take time to budget your money, especially if you're in financial crisis. Make a plan to make some extra money or to budget the amount of money you do have.

Get up everyday and get ready. Shower. Put on makeup. Do your hair. Get a pedicure or do your own nails. Go for a walk. Serve somebody. The quickest way to forget about your own problems is to do something for somebody else. Forget yourself and get to work. Don't spend your time worrying about things you can't control. Use your energy to do the things you can control.

2. Maintain normalcy

After a devastating health diagnosis it can be easy to forget about normal life. There is no such thing as normal life anymore. After a spouse tells you they've had an affair, your life can't possibly feel normal again. Don't let everything in your life fall apart because of one horrible situation. The best way to defeat the out of control things in your life is to maintain some tiny sense of normalcy.

Stick to your routines. If you go to the gym everyday, keep going. If you always do the laundry on Wednesdays, keep doing the laundry on Wednesdays. Continue to do those little every day things you've always done. The simple daily habits will be the anchor that keeps you from drowning in your devastation.

As Dory, from "Finding Nemo", puts it, "Just keep swimming."

3. Change your perspective

A quote attributed to Albert Einstein reads, "There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle." The way you view your current situation is completely up to you. Choose to focus on things in your life that are going well. Look for blessings in your moments of tragedy. Take a moment to be grateful, to breath in and out, to see the world with new eyes.

If you're already drowning and can't see anything to be grateful for in your life, ask a friend. Tell someone how you're feeling and ask them to help you point out the blessings in your life.

These small things can be the difference between letting your life spiral even more out of control or bouncing back quickly from tragedy.

The post 3 ways to feel in control when your life is out of control appeared first on FamilyToday.

I've been married to my husband for 18 years, and I'm still madly in love with him. Sure, he drives me crazy. Yes, we fight. Life isn't perfect, but I still love him.

Here are 7 ways you can be madly in love with your husband too.

1. Look at him

Slow down and really look at him each day. Let him catch you staring. Drop everything you're doing to give him a kiss. Watch him spend time with your children. See how hard he works for your family. Notice things he's doing right. Glance over things he's doing wrong. Study his features. Pay attention to the blessings he brings into your life. Gaze at him lovingly as he tucks your child into bed. Review your life together and imagine it without him. Peek into your future and see how incredible life is to come.

2. Listen to him

Be engaged when he tells you about his day. Take notice when he's frustrated. Listen when he tells you he needs space. Be attentive when he says he needs you more. Hear his voice as he reads to your toddler. Eavesdrop when he's discussing video games with your teenager. Take advice when he's giving it to you. Hang on his words when he tells you you're beautiful. Believe him when he expresses his love.

3. Fight with him

Don't be afraid to argue with your husband. Disagreements can lead to understanding. They can bring couples closer together. An occasional squabble doesn't mean your marriage is doomed. It's healthy and important for a strong marriage. Learn how to fight fair. Keep things civil and keep your voices down. Never let your arguments last long or become too intense. Don't forget, the most important part of fighting is making up.

4. Compliment him

Tell your husband specific things you love about him. Thank him for making the bed or taking out the trash. Praise him for handling an argument with your children. Commend him for working hard around the house. Show him admiration when he goes the extra mile at work or for a neighbor. Compliment his new shirt, haircut or shoes.

5. Confide in him

Your husband must be your ultimate confidant. Confess to him when you're feeling lonely, sad or distant from him. Admit when you're not happy or something is bothering you. Tell him your frustrations. Reveal your secrets to him. Let him in on your friends secrets. Opening up to your husband is crucial for happiness in marriage. Never be afraid to unload your innermost feelings on him.

6. Never give up on him

He may say something stupid and do something even stupider, but you must not give up on him. Walking away can't be an option. When you commit to marriage you commit to your partner 100%. You must be his most loyal companion. Be a staunch advocate for your husband to his face and behind his back.

7. Show him you love him

Hug him, kiss him and be intimate with him often. Learn his love language. Discover how your husband wants to be loved. Give him praise, gifts, touch or time. Make an effort every day to show your husband you still love him.

The post How to be madly in love with your husband every single day appeared first on FamilyToday.

"All I do is drive these kids around."

I roll my eyes, shake my head in disbelief and not so kindly remind my husband how I do 80% of the driving. He unapologetically reminds me he does 100% of the bill paying. Not actually paying the bills, because that's my job, but making the money to pay the bills. Within minutes my husband and I recognize how ridiculous we sound. We kiss, make up and live happily ever after.

But our conversations haven't always ended peacefully.

In our early years of marriage, we spent too much time competing over who was doing the most. While embarrassing to admit, I made a spreadsheet of the hours we each spent on our tasks. I won the argument, but we both lost the battle.

Here are 5 things I remind myself when I feel the urge to compete with my husband:

1. We're on the same team

We are both working towards creating a home and life for one another. Everything we do is for the good of our family. We're creating a happily ever after together. The only way to victory is for both of us to be winners. Like any team sport, it doesn't matter who is doing the most or the best as long as we win the game.

2. Competitions end with losers

Ricky Bobby said it best in Talladega Nights, "If you're not first, you're last."

My family is full of soccer players. Soccer is one of the few sports that can end in a tie, but don't let a tie game fool you. Everyone is still keeping score and at the end of the season there is still a winner and a loser.

If my husband and I are constantly competing, someone is going to lose.

3. Compromise instead of compete

The only way to win is by working together. This requires a lot of give and take. Compromise is one of the greatest tools for success in marriage. I'm happier when I do the dishes instead of stewing about why my husband hasn't done them already. Instead of making a list of all the things I want my husband to do. I focus on all the things I can do instead.

4. Love conquers all

I get caught up in the busyness of life. My husband and I work hard to make life amazing, but we often forget how our journey together started; We fell in love. Ultimately, we are working hard because we love each other. We want to share every day of our lives together. I constantly remind myself why I fell in love with my husband. In the end, love wins.

5. I don't want a participation award

Many competitions end with participation awards. I refuse to simply just participate in my marriage and walk away with a tiny trophy. I want to win the grand prize. I want my husband and I to hold the trophy, high above our heads, while claiming victory. Jumping up and down screaming, "we did it!" "We managed to raise four children and still be madly in love with each other." "We win!"

If you find yourself constantly competing with your spouse; stop. Make the choice to quit today! It's really that simple. Throw away the score cards. Stop taking mental notes. Start being on the same team as your husband.

The post 5 reasons you need to stop competing with your husband today appeared first on FamilyToday.

My child didn't get invited to a playdate. My friends went to a movie without me. Just found out about another girl's night I wasn't invited to attend. Yep, these have all happened to me, but my feelings aren't hurt. I'm totally okay with these scenarios. I'm not just saying this while choking back tears and trying to be brave. Cross my heart and hope to die. Promise. I'm not bugged.

Every day I feel hundreds of emotions. Typically I wake up feeling tired. After I exercise I feel energized. As I say my prayers, I feel peace. My feelings change minute by minute. I can feel happy, angry, sad, lonely, energetic and guilty all within the same hour.

I allow myself to feel sad, lonely and upset. But I don't allow someone else to hurt my feelings. I simply refuse. Here are five reasons why:

1. Because I can

A couple of years ago, after the one millionth time feeling sorry for myself I decided I was done. I realized I had two options. I can feel sorry for myself or I can let it go. I can refuse to get my feelings hurt. I can't control what other people do, but I can control how it makes me feel.

2. I don't want to be a hypocrite

Nobody is perfect. My foot is in my mouth more than the average person. I know I unintentionally hurt other's feelings by the things I say and do each day. I hope they would be willing to let it go as quickly as I do.

3. I recognize most things aren't personal

I know my friends and family aren't going out of their way to hurt my feelings. I have neglected to invite someone to a party. It was simply an oversight, not a malicious act. I recognize I can't invite 30 kids to a playdate or 100 friends to a luncheon. I wish my home and sanity were big enough to do those things, but neither one can accommodate such huge numbers. I'd love for the world to sit in a big circle and sing Kum Ba Yah, but it's not possible. When the same oversight happens to me, I don't take it personally.

4. I try to have compassion

My goal is to love someone even when they don't want to be loved or when they are acting like they don't love me. I choose compassion over anger and love over resentment.

5. I am content

I'm happy with my life. I love my family, friends and the lifestyle I've created for myself. I am content with the person I have worked hard to become. This contentment helps me to be happy whether I get invited or don't get invited. If someone doesn't like me, it doesn't define me. I know who I am.

Refusing to get my feelings hurt has been a game changer. I'm much happier. I live with more peace. I recognize when I feel sad, lonely or angry. I know when I need to apologize to others and receive others forgiveness.

Now, just because I don't get my feelings hurt, doesn't mean I don't want an invitation to the next party!

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Sometimes there just aren't enough hours in a day to get done everything we need and want to. Here are five ways to change that:

1. Evaluate daily tasks

Let go of things that don't help you achieve your goals. Obviously, this tip can't be completed if you don't have any goals or priorities — so sit down today and write the most important things you want to get out of life.

One thing that I've learned to let go of in my life is ironing every single piece of clothing. I used to spend hours every single week ironing all my boys' jeans and t-shirts, just to do it again the next week. When I examined my time, I realized that ironing was always taking much longer than I originally thought it would. I had much bigger priorities in my life than my kids having perfectly pressed jeans that would just be wrinkled within minutes anyway.

2. Plan your time

Take one day each week to sit down and incorporate all your weekly tasks into your schedule.

I usually write down all the things I need or want to do during the week and then plan out which days I will do them. This helps me to be realistic about how much I can actually accomplish in one week. I also sit down every evening and plan out the next day (by scribbling it down in a notebook). It's nice to have a guideline when I wake up in the morning instead of wasting half the day trying to decide which task I should start first.

3. Schedule as many tasks and activities as possible

Write things down that you'd like to accomplish, but don't be devastated if you can't get to everything.

Learn that it's OK to let things go or add them to your schedule for another time.

My list of things I would like to do during the week is often fairly long. Many times I will end up having the same exact list for two weeks in a row because I wasn't able to accomplish ANYTHING one week. That's OK — life happens.

4. Understand your energy levels

This one tip has been so helpful for me. It's easy to start plugging things into your schedule, but when the time comes to actually do that activity you may not feel up to it.

I've noticed that I have more energy in the mornings to do physical activities like cleaning. In the afternoon, I like doing my office work because I'm more tired. It's nice to sit at a desk and get some things accomplished. Also, I've noticed that I NEVER have energy to do any office work in the evenings. So, I plan my time accordingly.

This often takes time to figure out and get just right. If I find myself trying to clean without being productive, that's when I realize it's best to walk away and do it another time. I'll go start another project that I actually feel like doing.

5. Re-evaluate your schedule often

I re-evaluate every single minute of the day. My schedule is constantly changing and is rarely the way I've planned it. That may not be ideal, but that's how it has to be right now. I know it's because of my current phase of life. Having four boys, managing a home, working from home and juggling all that needs to be done each day requires flexibility; allow that flexibility by re-evaluating often.

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With over 3.5 million views in less than two weeks, "Us the Duo" amazes us with an incredible mashup of the Top Hits of 2015.

This duo covers 17 different songs in just 3.5 minutes.

You won't believe how this gorgeous couple combines tunes like, "Watch me (Whip/Nae Nae)" by Silento with Adele's "Hello."

You'll want to play this over and over again.

The post This incredible mashup of the Top Hits from 2015 will make your day appeared first on FamilyToday.

We all know that one person everyone loves to be around. They seem to have a magnetism attracting people to them. This person is the life of the party, shoulder to cry on and Miss Congeniality rolled into one super human.

What is it about these people that seem to be irresistible? Are you one of them? See if you have any of these 13 characteristics:

1. They listen

The irresistible person is willing to lend an ear. They act like what they're being told is important; whether it is or not. Most people want to be heard more than they want to listen.

2. They ask questions

Nobody wants to be with someone that talks about themselves all the time. The irresistible person asks questions; thought provoking questions, that show a genuine interest in others.

3. They are fun

This person makes mundane tasks seem exciting. They have a talent for making root canals, broke down cars, or taxes seem bearable. They not only bring fun to parties, but to the office, school and home.

4. They give compliments

Nobody can resist flattery. Irresistible friends notice our new shoes or leave a sweet comment on a Facebook post. They also point out beautiful things around them about others.

5. They are genuine

They don't give generic compliments or ask unimportant questions. This person is 100% authentic.

They allow people to see their true personality. In turn, others feel comfortable being themselves around them. They embrace their life choices and are content. Most of all, they are sincere in all they do and say.

6. They use body language

Eye contact, smiling, a gentle touch on the arm, or a nice warm hug are all things the irresistible person does to make others feel comfortable. This body language makes people feel like they really care.

7. They are relaxed

They have a calm presence; they have a way of making stressful moments feel peaceful. Even standing in a busy checkout line, they are smiling at everyone around them helping others feel at ease.

8. They show empathy

They identify with others' feelings. They understand, or try to relate, to others' thoughts and experiences. They never put people down and seem to have compassion towards everyone.

9. They are positive

The irresistible person doesn't complain. They see the positive in every situation. They are glass half-full optimists. They want the people around them to feel better about their circumstances. They always leave others feeling happy.

10. They are charismatic

Irresistible people are charming, inspiring and uplifting in all they do and say. Their outgoing personality attracts people to them.

11. They exude confidence

They instill trust in their associates. They are not arrogant, but have a quiet confidence compelling people to feel safe and comfortable in their presence.

12. They are relatable

They make people feel united; practically the same person. They find a way to make others interests their own. They know how to engage the conversation to find common ground.

13. They are adaptable

The irresistible person has the ability to show up to any situation and acclimate themselves quickly to the needs of everyone around. They can burn bread, forget to bring a gift to a party or miss a meeting at work, but still modify the situation to make it seem like that was their plan all along.

The post 13 characteristics of irresistible people: Are you one of them? appeared first on FamilyToday.

Growing up, my friends constantly commented on how I had a 'cool' mom. I didn't get it. How could the rule-enforcer, curfew-maker and fun-spoiler actually be cool?

Now that I'm a mother; I get it. I can finally admit the truth. My mom IS cool.

Here are 7 things I learned from my mom about how to be cool:

1. Welcome friends into your home

As a teenager, my home was filled with friends.

My mom enforced strict rules about where I was allowed to go, but she never put restrictions on who was allowed at our house. When my parents weren't comfortable with me going to a party, they encouraged me to invite friends to our home.

2. Provide fun activities

Most of my friends never wanted to be at their homes because they were "boring." In my home, we had a basketball shooting game, air hockey table, video games, board games and a hot tub.

While younger children can entertain themselves with a few toys, teenagers need engaging activities to keep them out of trouble. If you have fun activities in your home, they'll prefer to spend time there.

3. Keep your pantry stocked with food

The way to every child's heart is through the pantry.

It's a simple technique. If you have the food; they will come. Just the essentials will do the trick: chips, cookies and candy. This doesn't mean you have to eat these things on a daily basis in your home. Instead, my mom had a stash she would hide and bring out for special occasions.

4. Give your children a choice

With younger children it's choosing which music to listen to while driving in the car, helping decide what to buy at the grocery store, or which movie to watch as a family.

With teenagers it's allowing your child to choose (within reason) his curfew, which night he would like to hang out with his friends, and when he chooses to wake up or go to sleep.

I never realized my mom was sacrificing her desires each time she gave us a simple choice, but I remember feeling like I won the lottery because I was able to make decisions for myself.

5. Allow them to stay up past bedtime or out past curfew

As a young child, some of my favorite memories were when my parents allowed me to stay up just a little bit later to watch a movie. This simple tactic provides long lasting memories.

When I was a teenager it seemed my curfew was always earlier than my friends. A few times, when my parents trusted who I was with and knew where I was, they would allow me to stay later than normal. This simple allowance strengthened our relationship.

6. Keep some distance

I went to the same high school where my mom was a teacher. Because I was an immature teenager, this was fairly devastating. Although everyone else loved my mom as a teacher, I tried to steer clear of her. She did a great job respecting my privacy. She allowed me to have my own experiences, and she didn't show up in the lunchroom to eat with me.

As a parent, I've had to realize there are times when you simply have to play it cool by giving your child some distance. This often means I refrain from making silly comments on my son's Instagram post, commenting about the way he does his hair, or the hi-top converse he chooses to wear.

7. Fake it until you make it

I didn't realize my mom was faking most of what she was doing; making up the parenting rules as she went along.

Outwardly my mom was playing it cool, but inward she was praying with all her might that I would make good decisions, choose amazing friends, and stay out of trouble.

Just like most parents, mine were trying to act like they were cool with the things I was doing during my childhood, but mostly they were simply hoping we all survived.

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