One of the smartest things my husband ever did resulted in having a loaf of bread thrown at his head.

If you can handle an 18-slice whack to the noggin - you too can have wedded bliss. It was early on in our marriage. I was just discovering what it was like to come home at the end of a long day, anxious to reconnect with my sweetheart only to find that Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the entire crew of the Starship Enterprise were on a five-year mission - to steal his attention. In other words; if Star Trek was on, I was invisible and inaudible. I began to resent him for that and therefore spent a lot of time alone in our bedroom pouting.

Now I know that his reaction to my resentment was probably more lucky than it was deliberate, but nevertheless, there couldn't have been a more proper response to my sulking. He did nothing. Nada. My bad behavior went completely unrecognized. A year went by if a day, with this pattern of bad behavior when suddenly one night, I gave up. I threw in the towel or in this case... the loaf. After trying to ask him a question during the show and not getting as much as a grunt in reply, pure exasperation possessed me, and I grabbed the nearest non-lethal object and hurled it at his head. It was a loaf of bread.

BAM. It got his attention. Then I walked out of the room. I didn't care after that. My poor behavior had not been rewarded. Therefore I had no reason to continue. Had he ever responded to my little tantrums, I would have learned quite a different lesson and would have possibly become a rather manipulative little punk.

Since then, issues more critical than being a Star Trek widow have drawn both of us into deep valleys of resentment from time to time. Healthy ways to deal with being resented by your spouse have provided us with a way out.

Take responsibility for your own happiness

Go on... YOU can be happy, even if he is not. Keep doing what you enjoy doing. Make sure your spouse is lovingly invited to participate, but don't gauge the success or worth of the activity on his participation or approval because at first he probably won't. This mentality will eventually peak his curiosity, and soon it will become your spouse's idea to hang out with you and do what you are doing. For example, after I stopped perceiving Star Trek as the enemy, I started watching it with him and discovered it was a really good show, geekiness and all.

Speak well of your spouse

The words you hear from your own mouth reinforce your beliefs. Right now you need to believe that this too shall pass. You need to keep believing your spouse is really a wonderful person who deserves the benefit of the doubt, even though at the moment he or she is unwilling to grant you the same courtesy. If your mouth keeps telling your brain that he is a loser, your heart will never know you still love them.

Pray for them

They are in a bad place. Resent means to re-feel. For reasons you may or may not be aware of your spouse has bad feelings for you stuck on playback mode. A higher power can not only help your spouse move on, but can also ensure you do not allow being resented to make you feel resentful as well.

Step back

Sometimes people just need time and space to work through feelings. Don't badger them with too many questions or time restraints. They created the chasm in which they are now confined, and it will likewise be they who need to create the ladder for escape. This ladder will need to be constructed in their own way and in their own time. (Step one comes in handy right about now.)

Let them shine

Help them come back into the light by finding something they excel at and let them shine. Be careful; if they excel at ironing your shirts or fixing the toilet, this may not be the kind of atta-boy attention they need right now. Remember, you are already a burden to them at the moment. Instead choose one of your spouse's fun talents and make that the focus of an afternoon or activity. Yes, even if it means you have to lose yet another round of golf to him.

As you may notice, almost all of these ideas are focused on protecting your feelings and ensuring your survival while being the object of resentment. There is little focus on trying to manipulate the other person's feelings or behavior. This is because trying to manipulate someone else's emotional journey is usually ill-advised. Stay positive and loving and eventually the rest will fall into place.

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Although audience sizes in an average church congregation are similar to the average number of friends most people have on Facebook, the intent of social media interactions and attending church are vastly different. People peruse Facebook for its distraction and entertainment value while people who come to church do so to fill a vital spiritual need that only walking with God and worshiping Him can provide. Therefore, even though you should always be careful about what you post on the internet, you should be that much more careful about what stories you share while you are speaking in church. Here are nine stories no one wants to hear at church:

How your excellent adherence to gospel living produced perfect children

If all of your children are living Christ-centered lives, you shouldn't take the credit for that any more than you should take the blame for a child who wanders into darker paths. There are no guaranteed if-thens when it comes to raising human beings. Someone who is ten times the parent as you may have children who rebel with an intensity much worse than you could ever endure and yet somehow they still show up to church every week with a smile on their face and hope in their heart.

Exclusive stories

God has blessed you in some spectacular ways, but He has done the same for people of other faiths as well. If you are prone to belittle, pity or dismiss the beautiful faith traditions and accomplishments of God's other children, please leave those sentiments at home. No church has the exclusive rights to God's miracles and inspiration and therefore no one should speak as if they do.

Divisive stories

Nothing can bring the beautiful communion of the mortal and the divine to a screeching halt as fast as political jabs or sports team jabs. You may think you are being funny and playful, but save it for another time. Wink and "j/k" all you want, but the bottom line is: Lucifer divides and Jesus unites.

You saw Jesus

This is a keep-it-to-yourselfer. If something like this actually happened to you and you are positive that no drugs were involved, then you are obviously being set aside and prepared to perform some extraordinary work that is unique to you. Everyone in your congregation, however, has NOT been prepared and set aside for this unbelievable manifestation. This goes for any and all supernatural visions you may have had as well. Talk to an ecclesiastical leader about how to proceed, he will guide you well.

Dubious sources

If you are not 100% sure where a story came from, don't just make up a source or pull one off of Pinterest. If you do site a bad source, you risk losing credibility. Over the years, I have heard one particular story shared publically multiple times and each time it has been attributed to a different person. If you do not know for sure who the real source is, admit it and tell the story anyway. People love stories, they won't care.

Gory details

Medical trauma is a great place for God to intervene and show forth His mighty power as well as for demonstrating the strength of the indomitable human spirit. But sharing the gory details of the event is a sure way to leave your audience at the scene of the ordeal instead of taking them all the way through your message with you to a bright and meaningful end.

Over simplified, untried solutions

You may have some great ideas on how people can easily overcome obstacles and trials in their life, but if you haven't faced that obstacle and actually tried that solution out, don't tout it as a cure all. It's only a good idea at this point and a false hope or even an insult to someone seeking solace.

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I started folding laundry when I was five, making dinner for neighbors when I was eight and by the time I was 30, I had been blessed with a husband, five kids and a lifestyle that allowed me to be all kinds of domestic, all day long.

But two years ago, that all changed when I found myself surrendering my cherished title of homemaker for that of administrative assistant.

Adrenaline and duty (and shopping for a darling professional wardrobe) helped with the transition, but there was still much to learn. Adopting these seven simple guidelines helped make my return to the workplace a positive part of our family's story.

Make your children your new employees

When Mom goes back to work, everyone goes back to work. Chores you would usually be doing if you were at home are now divided and delegated by everyone. This works about as well as you would imagine, but the important thing here is that everyone is accountable.

You won't punish or yell when things are not completed, but when the neglected chore becomes an issue for the family it's time to say "let's see"¦that was Emily's job on Tuesday, let's ask her what we should do and see if she can help us." Not only will your family become humble and resourceful but you will be doing some of the finest mothering you have ever produced.

Expect some clumsiness

Give yourself a generous amount of time to adjust to your new responsibilities. Keep the term "learning curve" handy. You are probably used to feeling competent because running a home has required you to be a master of numerous areas of expertise. You're an ace at having all sorts of balls up in the air at the same time.

Most likely this will change at work. You will feel more like the child than the parent as you learn new things. Get ready to drop some balls, ask a lot of questions, and take lots of notes. You're not dumb. You're just learning. It will take time so make sure you give yourself plenty of it and keep a sense of humor.

Embrace technology

Texting and instant messaging your children and caregivers a few times a day keeps you in the game. I can listen to my daughter practice her trumpet after school with the help of Skype and headphones while I am still on task at work. Be upfront with your boss about this and demonstrate moderation and restraint. If your employer has zero tolerance for such activities, you may want to look for employment somewhere else that is more current with today's family friendly company policies.

Stop cute-ing..

There is a time and season for all things cute like homemade greeting cards and darling hair styles for each of your grade school age daughters. If you try to keep up that show in addition to all the new demands of your life though, you may start losing some stuff"¦ like your mind, or your temper or even your husband.

Let that go. No matter how Martha Stewart you've been in the past, your smile has actually always been the real show stopper. Keep that and lose the rest.

Don't fall in love

Out there in the working world, people put effort into looking nice and acting nice. This is referred to as being professional. It is essential to a productive work environment as well as building confidence in your clientel. But with the abundance of nice looking people walking around you every day, there is the risk of developing inappropriate feelings for a coworker if you are not careful.

Afterall, you're never going to have to wipe their nose or wash their underwear. What's not to love?! If these feelings do arise, it is important to realize that you are probably not really in love with this other person. It is more likely that you are just in love with feeling like an attractive, sane human being again. Keep it real. Make lots of new friends at work, not mistakes.

Cook in advance

Just do it. Your freezer is your friend and there are countless programs that can help you organize a way to prepare meals ahead of time to be frozen now and cooked later, be it a month ahead of time or just a week in advance. You will love yourself for it!

It's even more fun when you pick a Saturday and make your big cooking day a family affair or when you have a friend over. With half the effort, the two of you get a months worth of cooking done together in one day. Plus it's healthy to eat homemade and so much cheaper!

Share

You have friends, family, ministers, and counselors for a reason. Let them know how you are feeling about working outside the home. They are not your jury. They are your allies. (Warning: this does NOT apply to Facebook. Emotional online purges usually end up doing more damage than good.)

I once cried through an entire visit from a friend as I told her about my struggles adjusting to my new job. As a mother herself, she had never worked out of the home, but she cried right along with me. I am still strengthened by her compassion even though it's been years since it happened. Later, when you've adjusted and are having terrific experiences in the workforce, share those too.

When a woman has to divide her time between work and home, the greatest struggle she will have will be between her and herself, but with the right tools, faith and friends this can become a blessing to you and your family for years to come.

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