Today, you may be facing the same fears I faced as you support your spouse through unemployment. Your attitude throughout the job hunt can make a huge difference in the strength of your marriage and in your spouse's success in finding a new job. Here are some tips:

Stay positive

Like me, your first reaction may be to worry about finances. Of course, the budget is something you'll need to discuss, but first, set aside your worries and show some sympathy. Do something special together and have faith that your spouse will be able to find another job.

Network

Unemployed people often feel inferior and want to hide the fact that they're unemployed. Most of the time, the best strategy for finding a new job is to do the exact opposite. Let friends, family, coworkers, and neighbors know that your talented spouse is looking for a job. Brag about your spouse's abilities on social networking sites, asking your friends to be on the lookout for openings.

Focus on the job hunt

This is not a time to remodel the kitchen or build a deck. Your spouse will need to spend full-time hours looking for a job. With the amount of competition in the job market right now, most people need to apply for hundreds of jobs and interview with several dozen companies before landing a position.

Be a cheerleader, not a coach

Some wives and husbands make the mistake of coaching their unemployed spouses through the job hunt. For example, they may expect a report of each day's activities or give lots of advice. Eventually, this will strain your marriage. Leave the coaching to someone else, and be a cheerleader instead. Smile, show physical affection, spend time together, enjoy inexpensive activities, and compliment your spouse often.

Cut back on unnecessary expenses

Obviously, you'll need to scale back on some of your spending. This can be hard if you like to shop to relieve stress. Make a list of some things you can do to relax that don't involve spending money. You might like to:

• Go for a walk.

• Take a bubble bath.

• Check out your local library.

• Volunteer to help someone who's less fortunate.

• Try a new recipe.

When it starts to get old

It may take months or more to find a job. If this happens to your spouse, you may need to rededicate yourselves to positive thinking:

• Find uplifting quotes to post around your home.

• Listen to motivational speakers on audio files or find their books at the library.

• Make a list of all you have to be grateful for.

• Play music that makes you happy.

• Take a few minutes to enjoy the beauty of nature.

If your spouse seems unusually hopeless, consult a doctor or therapist for help. This may also be a good time to change your job hunting strategy.

Be open to new possibilities

Finding a job for your spouse may mean changes to your lifestyle. You may need to relocate, live on a lower income, or adjust your schedule. Be as flexible as you can, but make sure you address any concerns with your spouse.

The future is bright

Rest assured that with effort, your spouse will eventually find a job. In the meantime, remember that marriage is about more than careers. You might have even promised to love each other whether you're richer or poorer - in sickness or in health.

The post How to support your spouse through unemployment appeared first on FamilyToday.

I thought the bad news about his cholesterol would motivate him to exercise, but between his job and our busy life with the kids, he didn't often make the time to exercise. I decided to help him get excited about fitness.

Here are some things that worked

Walk the walk, literally

Around the time I started to worry about my husband's health, I set a goal to get in better shape. I thought I was getting fit for myself, but it turned out that my actions motivated my husband to start walking every day during his lunch hour.

Jonathan Roche, a fitness coach in Boulder, Colo., says "Being an example of health is the best way to motivate a spouse to get healthier. You won't have to nag or brag about the changes you're making; simply let your spouse decide on his own to follow your lead."

Make it fun

If I make it fun, my husband will exercise with me. Remember that there are many different ways to get exercise. Going to the gym is not a requirement.

Try to find activities you both enjoy that involve movement, for example:

• Have a race

• Play four square

• Chop wood

• Ride bikes

• Jump on a trampoline

• Play kickball

• Walk a dog (your own or your neighbor's)

• Go hiking

• Throw a Frisbee

• Work in a garden

My husband and I enjoy playing basketball and dancing in the living room with our children. We would do those things even if they didn't make us healthier.

Start small

A study conducted at the University of Texas in 2011 found that even 15 minutes of exercise a day can add years to your life. If your spouse hasn't been exercising regularly, start out slow with easy exercises, then gradually build up to longer, more challenging routines. Exhaustion and sore muscles aren't great motivators compared to the energy boost that comes from exercising at an appropriate level.

Let your spouse know you care

Your spouse doesn't want to hear a lecture about how he needs to exercise. On the other hand, loving words can be great motivators. You might try something like:

"Honey, I appreciate all you do for me, but I don't think you take enough time for yourself. I want you to be around for a long time. What can I do to help?"

A few simple steps on my part made a big difference in my husband's health. In the past three years, he's lost weight and become healthier. Life still keeps him busy, but his fitness routine gives him the energy he needs to thrive.

If you're concerned about your spouse's fitness level, be the one to set an example of health. Plan fun, short activities that include movement, and let your spouse know how much you care.

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Remember she can't control her own behavior

One of the first things you should know about an eating disorder is that it's similar to cancer or diabetes in that the person can't just "get over it". Though she may have initially chosen an eating disorder to feel a sense of control, the disease ended up controlling her. In most cases, anorexics cannot force themselves to eat, and those with bulimia cannot stop themselves from purging. It's imperative that people with eating disorders get help from qualified doctors and therapists.

1. Eating disorders are deadly, with 10% of those diagnosed with anorexia dying from the disease.

2. Remember, she feels hungry. It's a myth that people with anorexia don't enjoy food. Most crave food, feel hunger, and fantasize about delicious meals. Those with eating disorders often love to cook for others, but refuse to eat or properly digest their food. It's okay to talk about food and enjoy eating it when you're with someone who has an eating disorder. Even if, you feel self-conscious about your own weight, you should eat to satisfy your hunger. Forget about diets and calorie counting. Instead, focus on your body's need for energy.

3. Be Positive. According to Jenni Schaefer, an ambassador for the National Eating Disorders Association, "Eating disorders are characterized by constant self-criticism." Be an example of positive thinking for your friends with eating disorders. Sincerely compliment them on their good attributes, and practice thinking positively about yourself and body. Try to listen with love and empathize with their problems.

4. Avoid Lectures About Food. Jenni Schaefer wrote about going out to eat with one of her friends who criticized her food choices. Though Jenni ordered foods her dietician had approved, her friend continued to give advice about how Jenni could be eating healthier. Jenni ended up feeling discouraging instead of loved and had to limit her interactions with this friend. Friends and family members can encourage eating, but they shouldn't police food choices unless they have a therapist's permission.

5. Seek Advice from a Therapist. Family Based Therapy involves parents monitoring a child's food choices under the direction of a therapist. FBT has a 90% success rate compared to a 36% success rate among those who received individual therapy.

Harriet Brown wrote about using FBT in her book, Brave Girl Eating. Brown prepared five meals a day for her teenage daughter, made sure she ate them, and stayed with her afterward so she couldn't purge. Harriet's dedication saved her daughter's life. Although her daughter has had a few relapses since the treatment, her future looks bright.

There's great hope for people with eating disorders, and you can increase their chances for success by showing love and support. With your help and the help of a qualified therapist, your friend or loved one can lead a normal life again.

1 Worthen, Kaela. "Eating Disorders: Not Just About the Food." LDS Living Magazine March/April 2012, 61-64. p. 63

3 Brown, Harriet. Brave Girl Eating: A Family's Struggle with Anorexia.New York:Harper Collins, 2012. p. 98

4 Schaefer, Jenni.Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too. New York: McGraw Hill, 2004. p. 112

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