According to marriage and family therapist Nefi Ledezma, it's probably not an "addiction" in the clinical sense of the word, but for wives who long for interaction with their husbands after work, it can certainly seem like it.

Does your husband pass the "addiction" test?

• Does he seem to prefer playing video games over interacting with the family?

• Does he often choose to stay home rather than go out when invited, so he can play?

• Has he lost interest in things he used to enjoy (sports, hobbies, etc.)?

• Has his work performance been affected due to lack of sleep?

• Does he get angry or lie about the amount of time spent on video games when confronted about how much he plays?

If the answer is "yes" to most of these questions, your spouse may benefit from a course correction, but how can this be accomplished?

First, realize that husbands need downtime and the way they go through the restorative process is usually different from wives. After a day of working, many men need time to unwind in a non-social way. This isn't a choice - men are actually wired this way. This can be frustrating since women often need the exact opposite - conversation, and time together to affirm the relationship.

Here are some ideas for dealing with a video game obsessed husband:

• Talk about it. Let him know you realize he enjoys gaming, and the need to unwind. Tell him you accept it, as long as certain conditions are met. Express that you also have needs that he, in turn, should accept and try to meet. Be honest about how it makes you feel (ignored, not important, etc.) in a non-accusing way - use clear but non-attacking statements.

• Set reasonable time limits together. Have him be the one to suggest a proper time limit.

• Don't become the timekeeper. The husband should figure out his own way to keep track of gaming time, whether it is an alarm on his watch or some other external solution.

• Offering to join him, in an effort to spend time together, isn't necessarily a good idea. This works for some couples, but it's fairly rare, and usually happens when both people enjoy gaming before their relationship began.

• Don't hide the game or disable it in some way. This will almost surely just create anger and more problems.

• Sometimes, couples therapy is the solution. If he refuses to compromise or can't keep commitments he's made about his gaming, suggest counseling. Find a peaceful moment to bring it up, rather than after a huge argument, and present it as a way to make your relationship stronger rather than "do this or else."

When your husband does make an effort, be sure to let him know you've noticed and appreciate it, even if the improvement is small. It may take time, but you'll arrive at a solution that works for both of you.

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Just because you have a small apartment doesn't mean you can't have a homey place with plenty of your own personality. Here are just a few of the many ideas for decorating on the cheap.

Pictures and paintings

When you see a picture for sale at a flea market or thrift store, if you don't care for the picture, look beyond to the frame. Frames can be expensive when new, and the thrift store is the perfect place to find cheap frames with personality. Don't worry if you can't find matching ones. An eclectic mix is trendy and adds fun to the room. Replace the picture with an enlargement of one of your own photos. Old calendars are also a great place to look for frameable pictures. You can create a collage effect on your wall with a mixture of sizes and frame types. Frames are also easily painted to revive them or change their look.

Sheets

One of the cheapest ways to get fabric for curtains, or other cloth decorating, is bed sheets—either thrifted or purchased on sale. You'll rarely, if ever, find new fabric for sale at these prices. One fun idea is to use patterned sheets as wallpaper for a small area such as a border. Soak the fabric with liquid starch and smooth it onto the wall. The starch will dry clear, it stays in place very well and it's easy to remove later by applying hot water or steam. If you like, you can paint and apply an inexpensive piece of molding where the border meets the rest of the wall.

Combine texture

A fun and trendy idea is to combine rich fabrics with rough-textured, more inexpensive ones. For example, buy a little silk from the remnants table at the fabric store to make one side of a pillow, and use burlap for the other side.

Plants

Houseplants can quickly bring warmth and life to a room. Get creative with potting containers. A pretty bowl or shallow vase from the thrift store can find new life as a pot for plants. By asking friends for cuttings from their plants, you can add greenery to your rooms for practically nothing. Be careful to keep your plants in healthy shape; a sickly, yellowing houseplant doesn't add anything pleasing to the look of a room.

Mirrors

Mirrors are a well-known idea for enlarging the look of a small space. Keep them sparkling clean.

Clutter

Tuck as much clutter as you can away out of sight. Use one or two objects that have special meaning to you on an end table rather than a jumble of random things or messy stacks of magazines. Pare down what is visible to create a cleaner, more restful appearance. This tactic will make it easier to clean your small apartment as well.

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Here are some ideas:

Download coloring and activity pages

Several websites offer coloring pages you can download, such as Crayola, Nick Jr., and many more. A simple Web search will yield thousands of results that you can sift through to find just the right images to please your child. You could even combine the coloring pages with activity pages such as word searches, dot-to-dot pages, or mazes if your child would enjoy that. All of these activities are easy to find via Web search.

Use favorite photos

. It's also possible, with a little effort, to turn a favorite photo into a coloring page. Some free websites will convert your photo to a line drawing, with varying results, like Dumpr and BeFunky (use the charcoal effect). There is also a "Pencil Sketch" option within the free photo editor, Picasa, which can be downloaded from the Internet.

Photos that work best have large central images with strong lines. For example, a fairly close photo of a dog on a beach might translate well into a pencil sketch, where a photo of a forest might look crowded with thousands of small lines and shapes.

Draw your own pictures

If you're artistic, draw your own coloring images. Use bold, simple outlines. By looking through commercially produced coloring book pictures, you'll quickly get the idea of the type of image that works best.

Once you have collected the images you want to use, there are various ways you can turn them into a coloring book.

1. Print

Computer images can be simply printed out, and hand-drawn pictures can either be used as is or scanned into a computer and then printed - or duplicated with a copy machine. Setting the copy machine to a darker setting sometimes is helpful with hand-drawn pictures.

2. Simple Binding

You can bind the pages into a book by punching notebook holes and simply putting them into a notebook or theme folder. Or you can take them to a copy shop and have a comb binding put on your pages. Check with the copy shop for other binding options.

3. Professional publishing

There are online publishing services as well that will print your pages and bind them like a paperback book. Generally, to use these services, you will need to convert your images into .pdf files if they are not already in that format. Then you upload your pages to the publishing site, where you can usually do some formatting until things look just right. The finished product will then be shipped to you.

Try making a custom coloring book to please a child who has a very specific interest, such as a certain animal or car. One mother surprised her dragon-loving daughter with a coloring book filled with dragons, more dragons and only dragons. A custom coloring book would be a unique and personal gift from a parent, grandparent or anyone looking for something special.

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One excellent way is to get kids involved in service. Learning how serving others brings its own joys is one of the best lessons of life. And, it doesn't have to be complicated, expensive or difficult. Here are some ideas for children to offer service to others:

• Plant a garden or a tree at your school or other public place.

• Collect used towels and pet toys for the local animal shelter.

• Hold a neighborhood drive for gently used books and DVDs to donate to a local children's hospital.

• Find out when your next local Special Olympics event is, and go to cheer the athletes on.

• If your teen is good at manicures, volunteer to give them at a local nursing home. Kids of all ages can brighten the residents' day with singing, reading aloud, or even just a visit.

• Collect toys in good shape and donate them to your church's nursery.

• Go through the cabinets and send canned goods to a food pantry. Often, older kids can also volunteer to work at the food pantry sorting donations.

• Answer trivia questions at www.freerice.com. For every correct answer, the site donates an amount of rice to feed hungry people around the world.

• Go to the park and pick up litter. (Wear gloves!) Kids may be surprised at the amount of trash they will find.

• Call your local animal shelter to see if the animals would like someone to play with for an hour. If this isn't allowed, ask what the shelter could use instead.

• Pull your neighbor's garbage cans back in after the truck goes by.

• Make Valentine's Day cards for senior citizens - either ones you know or for residents of a nursing home.

• Sometimes, the best service can be done right at home. Have your kids do something nice for each other. Clean a brother's room, make a sister's bed, help wash the dishes. Do something in secret and watch for the smiles that will come.

Perhaps the very best way to encourage your kids to be involved in service is to be a good example of it.

One young mother occasionally found herself taking meals in to neighbors or friends when they were sick, having a baby or were in need. She really enjoyed this service, but often asked her husband to take care of her children while she prepared the food and delivered it.

As many moms feel, she knew she could do these tasks more easily on her own, without children. Then she realized that she was missing a great chance, and could use these moments as teaching opportunities. The next time, she had the children help fix the meal and carry it to the neighbor's house. The children began to see firsthand the joy that can come from service.

Make service to others a part of your whole family's life, and you'll see the benefits come back to you tenfold.

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Do you find yourself overwhelmed at the library when trying to pick out books for your kids? Many parents resort to choosing books randomly by glancing at covers. Others look at online lists of "great books for kids" but find such lists are not much more than a matter of personal opinion.

A possible shortcut a parent can turn to without too much worry are the yearly winners of the Newberry and Caldecott awards.

Generally speaking, the winners of these awards are reliably good books - ones that will stand the test of time. The Newberry medal began in 1921 and is presented by the Association for Library Service to Children, a division of the American Library Association (ALA) for the year's "most distinguished contribution to American literature for children." The Caldecott medal is specifically awarded for excellence in illustration in children's literature and began in 1938.

Newberry or Caldecott Honor books are runner-ups to the medals, and many fine book choices can be found among the winners.

Since these medals are chosen by a diverse group of people belonging to the ALA, the list is likely to be less based on personal preference and more on overall excellence. And, by choosing a variety of books from the list - ones written decades ago to current winners - kids will have a chance to experience many styles and trends in children's literature.

A list of the winners for the Newberry Medal can be found easily online. One good source is the ALA website.Caldecott winners are listed on this page.

Use the lists for ideas to get you started

You'll probably find books you loved as a child. Titles like, "Where the Wild Things Are," by Maurice Sendak, the 1964 Caldecott winner. Or "Wordless Tuesday," by David Wiesner from 1992. The Newberry winners have a wide variety - a book for nearly any interest, from 1963's sci-fi "A Wrinkle in Time," by Madeleine L'Engle to the beloved 1969 fantasy "The High King," by Lloyd Alexander to "Moon over Manifest," by Clare Vanderpool, a historical American tale and winner in 2011.

Use movie tie-ins for generating interest

. One mother found that after watching the movie adaptation of the Newberry winner, "Holes," with her child, he was interested in reading the book. At first she felt watching the movie first would be sort of like cheating, but she realized that today's kids are visually oriented, and a movie introduction can be a gateway to a great reading experience. Other medal winners with movie connections are "The Tale of Despereaux," by Kate DiCamillo, "Sarah Plain and Tall," by Patricia MacLachlan, "Jumanji," based on a book written by Chris Van Allsburg and "Bridge to Terabithia," written by Katherine Paterson.

Read aloud

Many books - Newberry or otherwise - are best enjoyed read aloud. Try taking turns reading with your child chapter by chapter. Reading aloud to your kids is also a way to introduce them to books that are too difficult for them to read on their own. There's nothing wrong with taking a break in the story to explain an advanced vocabulary word or discuss the plot for a few moments to clear up any confusion.

Try a Newberry or Caldecott book the next time you go to the library. You might discover you like the book as much as your child.

The post Choosing the best books for kids appeared first on FamilyToday.

Set tasks according to your child's maturity level

Often, the reason kids lose focus on a task is because it's either too easy or too hard for them. Take a close look at the activity and make sure it's the right skill level for your child. Also, it's a fact of life that we all have things to do that are tedious, boring, or not challenging. Help your child understand that sometimes we have to do things that are not fun or interesting. It's also helpful to point out that the sooner your child completes the less-than-interesting tasks, the more time he or she will have to do more enjoyable things.

Divide big projects into small tasks

A great tactic to help increase your child's concentration is to split the task up into smaller pieces. Big projects can overwhelm. We've all had that feeling of "I don't even know where to start." Splitting the task up will give a child the feeling of progress as the pieces are completed.

Minimize distractions

Give your child a quiet place to work when focus is necessary. Remember that kids haven't developed the same ability to screen out distractions that adults have acquired. Television, even coming from another room, is hard for kids to screen out. Soft music played in the work area can help mask distracting sounds.

Play "beat the clock."

Set a timer for a particular task that your child can work to "beat." Sometimes setting a short period of time will help them focus longer. One rule of thumb is that a child can focus on a single activity for about one minute per year of age. This is just a guideline - there are plenty of exceptions.

Teach how to set goals

Goals can be a great way to increase your child's ability to focus. When your child makes his own goals (with your guidance and rewards for reaching them) they can become a great motivator.

Offer praise

When you see your child paying attention to a task, notice and compliment him for it.

Healthy lifestyle

Good nutrition and enough sleep are huge factors in helping your child be able to concentrate on a task. We all know the sleepy effect a carbohydrate-heavy diet can cause (think of Thanksgiving dinner). Complex carbs, protein and fresh fruits and vegetables will help improve your child's ability to concentrate.

Memory games

The ability to focus is like a muscle. With practice, a person can experience longer and more effective periods of concentration. Use memory games as a fun way to increase your child's ability, and have fun at the same time.

Avoid overscheduling

Kids that are whisked from activity to activity can feel overwhelmed. Be sure to allow for downtime to allow their young minds to recover from an activity.

Give advanced notice about changes in activities

One mom always faced a melt-down from her 5-year-old when it was time to leave the park, Grandma's house or a play date. She discovered that giving him advanced notice helped make that easier.

When you want your child to switch focus from one activity to another, give a few minutes warning time. For example, if a child is playing a memory game but will need to begin practicing the piano soon, give him a five-minute warning. The transition will be easier and your child will be able to refocus on the new task faster.

The ability to concentrate for long periods of time takes time and practice. Try these simple ideas for increasing your child's concentration. It's something that he or she will benefit from for life.

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Here are some ideas for helping your kids to respect electricity and be safe around it.

Talk to your kids about how electricity is carried

Point out power lines near your home and let them know that although the power company has worked hard to make their lines safe, if they were ever to see downed lines, they should stay away and tell an adult.

Take a walk around your house with your kids and teach them how power is carried throughout the home by wires inside the walls. Show them how plugs work, and that nothing else should ever be inserted into electrical outlets. Outlets can be nearly irresistible to little children, so cover any unused outlets with plastic covers that little fingers can't remove. When kids are old enough to plug items in for themselves, be sure to teach them to watch for frayed cords or exposed wires of any kind. They should use extreme care to insert plugs straight and never yank them out to remove, since that can break the delicate wires inside and make the plug nonfunctional and dangerous.

Teach kids that water makes electricity even more dangerous

Show them through example that appliances should always be unplugged before being cleaned, and any electrical appliance should be kept from any danger of falling into a bathtub.

Watch for overloads

A young mom noticed that her kids had used an extension cord to plug several devices into one outlet. Luckily, she was able to catch and fix the situation before the outlet overloaded, and to point out the danger to her kids. While modern circuit breakers help, there is still a danger of sparking and fire with overloaded circuits.

Because we use electricity every day and are so used to having it near, kids and adults alike may find it easy to forget how dangerous it can be. A lot has been done since the old days of electrical power to improve its safety. Most homes are wired with Ground Fault Circuit Interrupters (GFCI), which cut off power to an outlet that surges or shorts out, and other safety features. In spite of this, caution is still needed. In fact, in the United States each year, electrical shock or burns injure more than 4,000 children and kill about 25 kids under age 15.

Hold a family meeting

Use the meeting to go over how to use electricity safely. Be aware that kids will use and understand electrical power differently as they grow older. You'll need to continue to review and teach as they age.

With just a little care and education, your family can utilize the awesome power of electricity safely.

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How can you avoid this common scenario?

On most computers, game systems and smart phones, a tiny networking chip broadcasts your data wirelessly. It has the ability to search the surrounding area for wireless networks to connect to. These networks will either be "open" (no password required to connect) or "secured" (requires a password to connect).

When Wi-Fi first began to be implemented, people talked about how if everyone left their networks open, the signals would overlap across huge swaths of the country, and people could get Internet access virtually anywhere. Sounds nice, but in reality, leaving your network open is often not such a great idea. You have only so much bandwidth, and if others use your network you may see a significant reduction in speed. Also, having an open network leaves your data more vulnerable to hackers.

It's up to you to keep your network safe

Some metropolitan areas are establishing city-wide open networks that citizens can log on to. Perhaps soon, this will become more and more common. But in the meantime, families will still have to provide their own secure networks, which need to be made safe. Here are some tips for making your family's Internet connection safe from hackers and intrusion.

Take these steps

A home setup will usually include a router - a box with a small antennae. To make your home network secure, you will need to set up a username and password for this router. Each router is different. If you have the printed directions that came with your router, follow those directions for setting up the login credentials. The router will usually be set up by the factory with a default name, usually something similar to the brand name, such as, "Linksys," or some such. Change the username to something unique but easy to remember. This will be the name you will see on the list of possible networks to connect to.

If you don't have the printed directions for your router, visit the manufacturer's website, where you will be able to access an electronic copy of your directions.

If you already have a router in place, try typing 192.168.1.1 into your web browser. This will bring you to your router settings page, where you can make changes.

Next, enable encryption by opening the wireless security settings on your router's configuration page. WPA2 is the most secure, but some older routers will need to use WEP or WPA. Choose a password that would be difficult for others to guess, and consider using a combination of letters, numbers, and special characters. But, when choosing the password, remember that you'll have to type this into your devices, and some passwords can be tricky to enter on a smart phone keyboard.

To find out if others are accessing your network, open your router's administration page (using the 192.168.1.1 address) and look for the DHCP Clients Table (it's under Status > Local Network on Linksys routers). Here you will see a list of all computers and wireless devices that are connected to your home network. You might be surprised at the number of wireless devices your family actually has, once you count up all the phones, laptops and game systems.

If you are going on vacation, you can turn off the router completely. Some parents unplug their router at night to prevent any Internet access. Some even put their router under their pillow while they sleep!

Internet safety for children is a completely different topic that you will want to investigate and learn as much as you can about.

Now that wireless Internet is part of most families' home life, it's important to protect it. Taking these simple steps will keep your data safer from hackers and piggy backers. Don't be afraid to ask a tech-savvy friend (or one of your kids) for help if you have questions.

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Do you have a little superhero running around your yard with a red towel pinned around his neck? Or maybe a young African explorer stalking through the grass? Imaginative play like this is critical for children for at least two reasons: it develops their minds and creativity, laying a base for future development. And, it is just plain fun. That's important too!

Often, when kids read books (or are read to) they think of stories of their own, and some develop a yearning to write them down or tell them to others. This is an outstanding way for you to help your children develop creative talents, while at the same time help them learn better language and communication skills.

So how can you help encourage this activity? It isn't always easy, with the intense competition there is for kids' spare time. Here are some ideas.

1. Allow time

Don't plan your child's schedule so tightly that there is no time for daydreaming and imagination. While music lessons, sports, and other activities have their place, kids need down time. This is virtually the only chance kids have to develop their imaginations. Don't forget to take advantage of time spent driving or waiting in line. Ask questions to get their imaginations going, like "what do you think that man is thinking about while he's walking his dog?" or "I wonder why they chose to paint that building red." Enjoy their creative responses, and maybe you'll also have the added bonus of less whining, complaining or fighting.

2. Encourage reading

Quiet time with books is a perfect way to have down time, or to break up periods of screen-based activities or hectic schedules. There are books for every interest at the library. Some kids prefer stories while others love reading nonfiction, like books about sports, bugs, animals, or how things work. There are many books being published now for the reluctant reader. If you need suggestions for your child's age and interest, the librarian can assist, or there are lists of such books on the internet.

Remember that reading is the best way to improve and encourage writing.

3. Make it easy

Provide a good place for writing and have materials on hand. Some kids will love writing on the computer - and get typing practice as they go. It's a simple thing to teach a child to open a new word processing document. Or writing by hand on paper has its advantages, too. For many kids, the chance to illustrate their stories is half the fun.

4. Don't get in the way

Sometimes kids get stuck for ideas to write about, and it's OK to help a little. There are lists of writing prompts on the Internet that can help. Suggest a journal to begin with. But once your budding writer gets started, resist the urge to over-direct her. Let her do her own thing, and don't worry too much about perfecting her grammar. The main point is to let their imaginations have free reign. The mechanics of writing will come with practice.

5. Praise

When your child shows you his writing, have fun reading it. Now is the time to heap on the praise. Point out things you like. Ask questions. Not only will your questions show interest, they'll get your young writer thinking about ways to develop his story.

6. Programs

Older children have even more options. Many communities have writing workshops specifically for young writers where they can learn from authors and come together with others their age with the same interest in writing. Most middle schools and high schools have creative writing classes to take that teach surprisingly advanced writing skills. Online writing classes abound.

The most important things you can do to encourage your young writer are to make it possible through providing time and positive reinforcement as well as to show how much you value time spent on developing this talent. In an environment like this, your young writer will flourish.

This article was originally published on FamilyShare.com. Check out these other related articles: Shakespeare's mom: Teaching your child to write, Writing is its own reward: Use two-way journaling to connect with your kids and The argument for imagination.

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Are you moving to a new home? Do you need different banking services? Or, are you just sick of the hassles at your neighborhood branch? There could be many reasons why a person might be on the hunt for a new bank. Here are some things to think about as you weigh your decision.

Location

This is often the number one criteria for people when choosing a bank. Having a place you can conveniently go on your way to and from work, or shopping is important. With the increasing use of direct deposit and electronic banking, this is less of a deal breaker than it was in days past. The times when you must actually visit the branch are becoming fewer. Some people even choose an internet bank, which they will never visit in person.

Fees

Do you use an Automatic Teller Machine often? If you do, look for a bank that doesn't charge for ATM withdrawals or refunds them each month. What is your typical checking balance? Many banks assign monthly fees according to what your lowest balance was for the month. Find out this amount for each prospective bank choice.

Widen your choices

Include credit unions in your search. These days, it's easy to find a credit union you can join, so add them to your list of comparisons. Internet banks may seem unfamiliar or scary, but often offer low fees or higher interest rates. If you check them out carefully, this can be a good option if you don't need to do your banking in person.

Credentials

Nearly any bank you approach will be FDIC-insured. This means that if for some reason the bank fails, or doesn't have enough funds on hand to cover your deposits, the federal government will back them up. There is usually a limit of $100,000 or so. Signage showing this coverage is prominent in most banks and will also list the coverage amount.

Family-friendly

It's great to find a bank that is willing to open accounts for your children, too.

Be cautious. Sign-up incentives may look good, but many of them will be for a short time, and won't be worth it in the long run. Changing banks isn't an easy process. It's better to choose one that will be right for you for a long time.

There are online tools to make this process easier. Websites such as www.findabetterbank.com allow you to enter what you want in a bank, and will search your area for financial institutions that fit your criteria. First, you specify the features you are looking for (from a list which makes it easy to remember the options), your location, and estimated banking fees. The website then presents a list of banks in order of how well they fit your criteria. You can use this tool to either find a new bank, or check out the one you currently have to make sure it's really the best one for you.

One last tip: When it's time to set up automatic payments, you usually have the choice of setting that up through each vendor or through your bank's bill pay feature. Depending on fees, it might be best to use the bill pay method. Then, if you ever need to switch banks, you can do it all at once rather than recontacting each vendor individually.

Use the power of the Internet to find the right bank for you whether it ends up being a high-tech internet bank or the bank around the corner.

This article was originally published on FamilyShare.com. Check out these other related articles: Find a bank you love, Welcome to The Bank of You and 8 tips to start saving now.

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